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stop bullying
Mar 15, 2011, 3:40:59 PM3/15/11
to STOP Bullying! Canada!
http://stopbullyingcanada.wordpress.com/myths-about-bullying
What are the myths about bullying?
Myth #1 – “Children have got to learn to stand up for themselves.”
Realities– Children who get up the courage to complain about being
bullied are saying they’ve tried and can’t cope with the situation on
their own. Treat their complaints as a call for help. In addition to
offering support, it can be helpful to provide children with problem
solving and assertiveness training to assist them in dealing with
difficult situations.
Myth #2 – “Children should hit back – only harder.”
Realities – This could cause serious harm. People who bully are often
bigger and more powerful than their victims. This also gives children
the idea that violence is a legitimate way to solve problems. Children
learn how to bully by watching adults use their power for aggression.
Adults have the opportunity to set a good example by teaching children
how to solve problems by using their power in appropriate ways.
Myth #3 – “It builds character.”
Realities – Children who are bullied repeatedly, have low self-esteem
and do not trust others. Bullying damages a person’s self-concept.
Myth #4 – “Sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never
hurt you.”
Realities – Scars left by name-calling can last a lifetime.
Myth #5 – “That’s not bullying. They’re just teasing.”
Realities – Vicious taunting hurts and should be stopped.
Myth #6 – “There have always been bullies and there always will be.”
Reality – By working together as parents, teachers and students we
have the power to change things and create a better future for our
children. As a leading expert, Shelley Hymel, says, “It takes a whole
nation to change a culture”. Let’s work together to change attitudes
about bullying. After all, bullying is not a discipline issue – it is
a teaching moment.
Myth #7 – “Kids will be kids.”
Realities – Bullying is a learned behaviour. Children may be imitating
aggressive behaviour they have seen on television, in movies or at
home. Research shows that 93% of video games reward violent behaviour.
Additional findings show that 25% of boys aged 12 to 17 regularly
visit gore and hate internet sites, but that media literacy classes
decreased the boys’ viewing of violence, as well as their acts of
violence in the playground. It is important for adults to discuss
violence in the media with youth, so they can learn how to keep it in
context. There is a need to focus on changing attitudes toward
violence. Source: child.alberta.ca
Myth #8 – “Bullies are looking for attention. Ignore them and the
bullying will stop.”
Realities – The research: Bullies are looking for control, and they
rarely stop if their behavior is ignored. The level of bullying
usually increases if the bullying is not addressed by adults. Source:
Bullying – Myths and Realities
Myth #9 – “Most bullying now happens online.”
Realities – As tragic as they are, these high-profile cases should not
distract from more traditional – and more prevalent – forms of
bullying. Whether battling rumors about their sexual orientation,
enduring criticism of their clothes or getting pushed around at
recess, kids are bullied offline all the time. While it’s hard to
stereotype bullying behavior in every school in every town in America,
experts agree that at least 25 percent of students across the nation
are bullied in traditional ways: hit, shoved, kicked, gossiped about,
intimidated or excluded from social groups. In a recent survey of more
than 40,000 U.S. high school students conducted by the Josephson
Institute, which focuses on ethics, 47 percent said they were bullied
in the past year. But, according to the 2007 book “Cyber Bullying,” as
few as 10 percent of bullying victims are cyber-bullied. Meanwhile, a
study of fifth, eighth and 11th graders in Colorado that same year
found that they were more likely to be bullied verbally or physically
than online. Of course, with increased access to computers, cellphones
and wireless Internet – not to mention the exploding popularity of
social media sites – cyber-bullying will be on the rise in the coming
years. But for now, traditional forms of bullying are more common.
Myth #10 – “Bullies are bullies and victims are victims.”
Realities – Actually, it is common for kids who are bullied at home by
an older sibling or abused by a parent to become bullies themselves at
school. Domestic violence and bullying feed each other. Researchers
have found that elementary school bullies are more likely than non-
bullies to have witnessed domestic violence during their preschool
years. According to a 2007 study of bullying in Japan, South Africa
and the United States, 72 percent of children who were physically
abused by their parents became a bully, a victim of a bully or both.
But taking out their frustrations on kids at school doesn’t help
bullies. Researchers have found that bullies who are bullied
themselves have higher rates of depression, anxiety, anger and low
self-esteem than kids who are only bullies, only victims or who are
not involved in bullying at all.
Myth #11 – “Bullying ends when you grow up.”
Realities – Bullying is negative, mean, repetitive behavior that
occurs in a relationship characterized by an imbalance of power. It
can happen in a middle school – but it can also happen in an office.
According to the Journal of Management Studies, nearly 50 percent of
American workers have experienced or witnessed bullying in the
workplace, even if they did not recognize it as such.
Myth #12 – “Bullying is a major cause of suicide.”
Realities – According to the Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention, suicide is the third-leading cause of death for 15- to 24-
year-olds, behind traffic accidents and homicide. And while
individuals who are bullied are at increased risk for self-harm, it’s
too simplistic to blame the deaths of victims solely on bullying.
According to the CDC, risk factors for suicide include a family
history of suicide, depression or other mental illness, alcohol or
drug abuse, a personal loss, easy access to firearms and medication,
exposure to the suicidal behavior of others, and isolation. Bullying
can be a trigger for suicide, but other underlying factors are usually
involved. Interpreting a teenager’s suicide as a reaction to bullying
ignores the complex emotional problems that American youth face. To
understand the complexity of suicidal behavior, we need to look beyond
one factor.
Myth #13 – “We can end bullying.”
Realities – Can we? The debate rages on. In 2008, a study of school
bullying-prevention programs over nearly 25 years found that they
changed attitudes and perceptions about bullying, but not bullying
behavior. This isn’t great news. Victims of bullying don’t want to
know more about bullying – they want it to stop. Nonetheless, when
schools collect data about bullying and intervene when they observe
it, they can change the culture that supports the behavior. Programs
such as Steps to Respect, Second Step, Bully-Proofing Your School and
the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program have proved particularly
promising. A 2009 study in the Journal of Educational Psychology found
that Steps to Respect – whose Web site says it “teaches elementary
students to recognize, refuse, and report bullying, be assertive, and
build friendships” – reduced bullying by 31 percent in some schools in
Washington state. Parent training, increased playground supervision,
effective disciplinary methods, home-and-school communication,
classroom management and the use of training videos have also been
associated with reductions in bullying. No program can end bullying in
every community, and no program has eliminated 100 percent of bullying
behaviors. However, when awareness of bullying becomes as much a part
of school culture as reverence for athletics or glee club, we’ll have
a shot at finally stopping it. Source: Five myths about bullying
Community-based harassment is a grown-up version of school yard
bullying. Multiple individuals within a community participate in the
harassment and stalking of a single individual. However, rather than
attack a victim physically, techniques are used to undermine a person
psychologically. This can be far more damaging than a physical attack
because not only is it very hard to prove, but it is extremely
traumatizing for the victim. (Also known as cause stalking or gang
stalking). In addition, this form of harassment often leaves the
target a victim of ridicule among friends and family because of the
subtle nature of the attacks, which further compounds the trauma to
the victim. It is emotionally draining and isolating to the victims
because it is extremely difficult to prove, and virtually impossible
to prosecute.
Myth #14 – Non-lethal weapons don’t exist in the public domain.
Realities – See the following for examples of “low-tech” non-lethal
weapons: High-Tech Harassment: How to Get Even with Anybody Anytime;
Ultrasound Generation Devices; Revenge Devices; Sonic Nausea
Myth #15 – You have to be important to be a target of such intense and
persistent stalking.
Realities – This is primarily a hate crime, whose targets tend to be
neither wealthy nor public figures. Because the target is often no
longer able to hold a job, s/he usually lacks the funds to fight back.
What makes this different from other hate crimes is that the target is
often not made aware if the reason behind it.
Myth #16 – If you think you are targeted, you must be mentally ill.
Realities – While delusional thinking does exist, these situations
have an identifiable pattern to them. This type of harassment has been
modelled on past hate crimes and refined through years of use. It is
intended to make the target look crazy. In addition, the activity is
so traumatizing that many otherwise “mentally healthy” individuals
might easily develop mental health issues as a result of the stalking.
Hence, mental illness is not an indicator of whether or not the
activity is actually taking place.
Myth #17 – If you don’t make them angry, they will stop.
Realities – Like bullies in the school playground, they do not go away
if you ignore them. Victims have found, to their dismay, that the
targeting can go on for years. Exposure is the way to stop them. CATCH
Canada
What are the myths about bullying?
Myth #1 – “Children have got to learn to stand up for themselves.”
Realities– Children who get up the courage to complain about being
bullied are saying they’ve tried and can’t cope with the situation on
their own. Treat their complaints as a call for help. In addition to
offering support, it can be helpful to provide children with problem
solving and assertiveness training to assist them in dealing with
difficult situations.
Myth #2 – “Children should hit back – only harder.”
Realities – This could cause serious harm. People who bully are often
bigger and more powerful than their victims. This also gives children
the idea that violence is a legitimate way to solve problems. Children
learn how to bully by watching adults use their power for aggression.
Adults have the opportunity to set a good example by teaching children
how to solve problems by using their power in appropriate ways.
Myth #3 – “It builds character.”
Realities – Children who are bullied repeatedly, have low self-esteem
and do not trust others. Bullying damages a person’s self-concept.
Myth #4 – “Sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never
hurt you.”
Realities – Scars left by name-calling can last a lifetime.
Myth #5 – “That’s not bullying. They’re just teasing.”
Realities – Vicious taunting hurts and should be stopped.
Myth #6 – “There have always been bullies and there always will be.”
Reality – By working together as parents, teachers and students we
have the power to change things and create a better future for our
children. As a leading expert, Shelley Hymel, says, “It takes a whole
nation to change a culture”. Let’s work together to change attitudes
about bullying. After all, bullying is not a discipline issue – it is
a teaching moment.
Myth #7 – “Kids will be kids.”
Realities – Bullying is a learned behaviour. Children may be imitating
aggressive behaviour they have seen on television, in movies or at
home. Research shows that 93% of video games reward violent behaviour.
Additional findings show that 25% of boys aged 12 to 17 regularly
visit gore and hate internet sites, but that media literacy classes
decreased the boys’ viewing of violence, as well as their acts of
violence in the playground. It is important for adults to discuss
violence in the media with youth, so they can learn how to keep it in
context. There is a need to focus on changing attitudes toward
violence. Source: child.alberta.ca
Myth #8 – “Bullies are looking for attention. Ignore them and the
bullying will stop.”
Realities – The research: Bullies are looking for control, and they
rarely stop if their behavior is ignored. The level of bullying
usually increases if the bullying is not addressed by adults. Source:
Bullying – Myths and Realities
Myth #9 – “Most bullying now happens online.”
Realities – As tragic as they are, these high-profile cases should not
distract from more traditional – and more prevalent – forms of
bullying. Whether battling rumors about their sexual orientation,
enduring criticism of their clothes or getting pushed around at
recess, kids are bullied offline all the time. While it’s hard to
stereotype bullying behavior in every school in every town in America,
experts agree that at least 25 percent of students across the nation
are bullied in traditional ways: hit, shoved, kicked, gossiped about,
intimidated or excluded from social groups. In a recent survey of more
than 40,000 U.S. high school students conducted by the Josephson
Institute, which focuses on ethics, 47 percent said they were bullied
in the past year. But, according to the 2007 book “Cyber Bullying,” as
few as 10 percent of bullying victims are cyber-bullied. Meanwhile, a
study of fifth, eighth and 11th graders in Colorado that same year
found that they were more likely to be bullied verbally or physically
than online. Of course, with increased access to computers, cellphones
and wireless Internet – not to mention the exploding popularity of
social media sites – cyber-bullying will be on the rise in the coming
years. But for now, traditional forms of bullying are more common.
Myth #10 – “Bullies are bullies and victims are victims.”
Realities – Actually, it is common for kids who are bullied at home by
an older sibling or abused by a parent to become bullies themselves at
school. Domestic violence and bullying feed each other. Researchers
have found that elementary school bullies are more likely than non-
bullies to have witnessed domestic violence during their preschool
years. According to a 2007 study of bullying in Japan, South Africa
and the United States, 72 percent of children who were physically
abused by their parents became a bully, a victim of a bully or both.
But taking out their frustrations on kids at school doesn’t help
bullies. Researchers have found that bullies who are bullied
themselves have higher rates of depression, anxiety, anger and low
self-esteem than kids who are only bullies, only victims or who are
not involved in bullying at all.
Myth #11 – “Bullying ends when you grow up.”
Realities – Bullying is negative, mean, repetitive behavior that
occurs in a relationship characterized by an imbalance of power. It
can happen in a middle school – but it can also happen in an office.
According to the Journal of Management Studies, nearly 50 percent of
American workers have experienced or witnessed bullying in the
workplace, even if they did not recognize it as such.
Myth #12 – “Bullying is a major cause of suicide.”
Realities – According to the Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention, suicide is the third-leading cause of death for 15- to 24-
year-olds, behind traffic accidents and homicide. And while
individuals who are bullied are at increased risk for self-harm, it’s
too simplistic to blame the deaths of victims solely on bullying.
According to the CDC, risk factors for suicide include a family
history of suicide, depression or other mental illness, alcohol or
drug abuse, a personal loss, easy access to firearms and medication,
exposure to the suicidal behavior of others, and isolation. Bullying
can be a trigger for suicide, but other underlying factors are usually
involved. Interpreting a teenager’s suicide as a reaction to bullying
ignores the complex emotional problems that American youth face. To
understand the complexity of suicidal behavior, we need to look beyond
one factor.
Myth #13 – “We can end bullying.”
Realities – Can we? The debate rages on. In 2008, a study of school
bullying-prevention programs over nearly 25 years found that they
changed attitudes and perceptions about bullying, but not bullying
behavior. This isn’t great news. Victims of bullying don’t want to
know more about bullying – they want it to stop. Nonetheless, when
schools collect data about bullying and intervene when they observe
it, they can change the culture that supports the behavior. Programs
such as Steps to Respect, Second Step, Bully-Proofing Your School and
the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program have proved particularly
promising. A 2009 study in the Journal of Educational Psychology found
that Steps to Respect – whose Web site says it “teaches elementary
students to recognize, refuse, and report bullying, be assertive, and
build friendships” – reduced bullying by 31 percent in some schools in
Washington state. Parent training, increased playground supervision,
effective disciplinary methods, home-and-school communication,
classroom management and the use of training videos have also been
associated with reductions in bullying. No program can end bullying in
every community, and no program has eliminated 100 percent of bullying
behaviors. However, when awareness of bullying becomes as much a part
of school culture as reverence for athletics or glee club, we’ll have
a shot at finally stopping it. Source: Five myths about bullying
Community-based harassment is a grown-up version of school yard
bullying. Multiple individuals within a community participate in the
harassment and stalking of a single individual. However, rather than
attack a victim physically, techniques are used to undermine a person
psychologically. This can be far more damaging than a physical attack
because not only is it very hard to prove, but it is extremely
traumatizing for the victim. (Also known as cause stalking or gang
stalking). In addition, this form of harassment often leaves the
target a victim of ridicule among friends and family because of the
subtle nature of the attacks, which further compounds the trauma to
the victim. It is emotionally draining and isolating to the victims
because it is extremely difficult to prove, and virtually impossible
to prosecute.
Myth #14 – Non-lethal weapons don’t exist in the public domain.
Realities – See the following for examples of “low-tech” non-lethal
weapons: High-Tech Harassment: How to Get Even with Anybody Anytime;
Ultrasound Generation Devices; Revenge Devices; Sonic Nausea
Myth #15 – You have to be important to be a target of such intense and
persistent stalking.
Realities – This is primarily a hate crime, whose targets tend to be
neither wealthy nor public figures. Because the target is often no
longer able to hold a job, s/he usually lacks the funds to fight back.
What makes this different from other hate crimes is that the target is
often not made aware if the reason behind it.
Myth #16 – If you think you are targeted, you must be mentally ill.
Realities – While delusional thinking does exist, these situations
have an identifiable pattern to them. This type of harassment has been
modelled on past hate crimes and refined through years of use. It is
intended to make the target look crazy. In addition, the activity is
so traumatizing that many otherwise “mentally healthy” individuals
might easily develop mental health issues as a result of the stalking.
Hence, mental illness is not an indicator of whether or not the
activity is actually taking place.
Myth #17 – If you don’t make them angry, they will stop.
Realities – Like bullies in the school playground, they do not go away
if you ignore them. Victims have found, to their dismay, that the
targeting can go on for years. Exposure is the way to stop them. CATCH
Canada
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