Foreigner Records Full Album
Temika
Foreigner (1977)Album Score: 8Agh, Foreigner! Why do they have to be so tame? They are classified as hard rock on Wikipedia, but they don't seem to rock out very much. My guess is they were trying to combine hard rock with pop music in order to gain the appreciation of a wider audience. Obviously, that little scheme of theirs worked since this was one of the hot sellers of 1977, and somehow their fame lingers on 30+ years later. It's funny that I have a tendency to agree with the public sentiments when it comes to music, but not in this case. Foreigner weren't particularly good at rocking, and they weren't a particularly good pop band. In other words, there's nothing that I can possibly do with a band like this except deport them from my stereo. (Oh! I'm filled to the brim with bad puns!)It's obvious they had some talent lurking in their midsts. One of the founding members, Ian McDonald, had been in the original line-up of King Crimson, which I hope we all know put out one of the greatest albums ever released. Another founding guitarist, Mick Jones, was a member of the early '70s incarnations of Spooky Tooth. I don't know much about Spooky Tooth other than they have one of the most notoriously bad band names, but they had a reputation of some sort! And then the lead singer, Lou Gram, had no reputation at all. He was previously lead singer of a band called Black Sheep that doesn't even have a Wikipedia page. As we all know, anything that doesn't have a Wikipedia page is unimportant. Including me.And it's not like this is such a crap album. It's just frustratingly mediocre. Writing the track reviews particularly in the second half wasn't such an easy task, I hate to say. I typically just sat through the songs, thinking Wow, this song isn't badit's just entirely standard and mediocre and then struggled to try to come up with something to write about it. The first side at least had a few hits on it, and a really weird sci-fi ballad, so I at least had an angle. The non hits, and the non sci-fi ballads are just standard fare. Not bad, and not good.The hits! Unless you're from 1977 and bought hit records, you probably only recognize Feels Like the First Time from being featured in a billion commercials over the years. It's a cute little power-ballad that has a nice 'n' catchy little melody. In keeping with the general spirit of this album, it doesn't rock out much at all, and the melody (especially in the verses section) falls pretty flat. But at least their power ballad formula provided us with a fitfully memorable ditty. However, Cold as Ice, which continues to be popular enough to be heard on the classic rock radio from time to time, is arguably the best song of the lot. It's a Billy-Joel-style piano ballad that begins with a dull bouncy piano and proceeds to deliver a rather catchy melody. It's not one of my favorite staples of classic rock radio, but at least it's better than hearing Styx's Come Sail Away played for the 100,000,000 time.Starrider is the sci-fi ballad that's just weird, overblown, and a bit tedious. It's amazes me that someone from King Crimson could have been involved with it. That's by far the most creative track on the album, and it sounds like something a high school band would come up with. It has it all: echoey vocals, cheesy synthesizers, wannabe 'epic' drumming. Sometimes I can get caught up in seriously cheesy songs like that as long as it's more or less self-aware of its own cheesiness and thus can be construed as humorous. But this is as serious as ever, and they're just boring with it. Why does it exist, then?Most of the rest of the songs are dull rockers and bland power ballads. The one notable exception is the glam rocker Long, Long Way From Home, which seems to pick up a little bit of dust. I think the only reason I like it is because of those swinging saxophones they subtly work into the groove in its second half. How did they know that I liked swinging saxophones? Anyway, that little touch was what pushed it over the edge for me enough to call it the second best song of the album.While this album has some good songs on it, it's an overall flaccid experience. The guitars don't rock out enough, the rhythm sections are dull, and the melodies are flat. All in all, it's just too clean, which goes completely against the stereotype that foreigners never shower. It's weird that so many copies of an album that aims so low were sold... but then again, I guess that's all the public wanted. They didn't want to listen to Residents albums, I guess. I know, hard to imagine!Read the track reviews:
Foreigner
Double Vision (1978)Album Score: 8Foreigner were good for a lot of things. Most of all, it was sucking. But at least they could come out with noble hits from time to time, and Double Vision has two of them: the title track and Hot Blooded. The rest of the songs range from OK to ones that make me want to slowly commit suicide by standing in the middle of a driving range.Let's start this review on a positive note, since that's usually how the world likes to hear things. Hot Blooded is altogether a pretty good song. It has a nice chugging rhythm, a catchy riff and an OK melody. It is the sort of song I hear all the time in grocery stores, and I think to myself Well, at least they're not playing Spandau Ballet! (All in all, a very positive thing for me to think.) Other than its catchy riff and OK melody, it has nothing else really going for it. It's pure pap from beginning to end.Anyway, you probably already know if you like Hot Blooded. If it's among the best song that you've ever heard, then you should run right to the record store and get Double Vision, because you'll probably be able to bear the rest of these songs without wanting to slit your wrists. They get even more pap after that. Especially that ballad You're All I Am. That song is a poop sandwich. But I'm not going to talk about it yet. I still need to talk about the other good song in Double Vision.The other good song is the one that goes Fill my eyes! With that douuuuble visssssssion! ...I'm not exactly sure what they mean by filling your eyes with double vision, but that goes to show it's probably not very healthy to think too hard about Foreigner lyrics. That is a solidly written, well put-together song. If that was the only song I've heard from Foreigner, I might actually have assumed that they were a good band. I'm sure you've all heard it on the radio. It's catchy, and a lot of fun. The lyrics suck, but that's not anything out-of-the-ordinary for classic rock radio.Alright, now let's talk about You're All I Am. Not only is it a dead dull piano ballad, but it has such a horrific melody that I literally hate my life when I listen to it. (Literally!) I mean, how many minutes did they spend writing that melody? How much brain power did they use to figure out this clunky instrumentation? Did they even try? What's the point of writing music if it's going to be stupid and boring like that? (Oh! Profit!) The only positive thing I can say about it is that it's not quite as soul-sucking as Styx's Babe. I can also say that about listening to people fart in public restrooms. It's also nice that Lou Gramm is refreshingly non-irritating as a singer. Blue Morning, Blue Day is a nicely written piano pop song along the lines of Billy Joel, except Billy Joel does them better. The melody isn't particularly memorable, but at least it's rather fun to listen to. Back to Where You Belong is a boring power ballad that is a total time-waster, but at least it is inoffensive. Love Has Taken Its Toll is a frustratingly ordinary rocker that I've completely forgotten about already. Tramotine is a synth-heavy instrumental whose main redeeming quality is I get a break from having to bear through their stupid lyrics. I actually rather like Lonely Children, though; if these guys had testicles, that song might have been turned into a great, butt-whomping heavy metal anthem. But as it is, it's merely adequate. This album has a closing song, but I don't care enough to talk about it.All in all, Foreigner's sophomore album is a pretty dull and lifeless affair. It does have two good songs on it, and I'd say that it's a little better produced than the debut. But that's about it. I spent a lot of time listening to this album over the years, and I regret to say that I have yet to get over my raging xenophobia.Read the track reviews:
Double Vision
Head Games (1979)Album Score: 8Through the years that I've been listening to Foreigner's discography, I've consistently pinpointed Head Games as the best Foreigner album. (Except I haven't listened to their '90s albums yet, but I've sampled them, and they look pretty grim.) Even as I'm listening to Head Games right now, I wouldn't deny that it sports a fitfully strong conglomeration of melodies. What's more, they've adopted a somewhat harder and grittier tone to their guitars, which is a move that I wholeheartedly endorse. While their guitars are still not as awesome as, say, Judas Priest, it's a small step up from the wuss-rock sound that had characterized Double Vision and their eponymous debut.My opinion of Head Games as being the best Foreigner album, might strike a few people as peculiar; this is the only album they've cut from 1977 to 1984 to not have any extremely recognizable hits on it. Sure, I wouldn't be surprised if a classic radio rock station somewhere in the Midwest treats their audience to a smattering of Dirty White Boy or the title track from time to time, but neither of those songs are as immediately recognizable as, say, Double Vision or Urgent. In addition to nothing from Head Games being well-integrated into society, I'll also say that nothing here is quite as good as the best stuff from Double Vision or 4.So, why do I think this is the best Foreigner album? Simply because there is relatively little that pisses me off about it. If for whatever reason you want to listen to a Foreigner album in its entirety, and you don't particularly want to get angry with it, then Head Games is probably your best bet. But then there's that issue I raised in a Led Zeppelin review that I wrote recently: Would you rather listen to an album with some great moments and some horrible moments, or would you rather listen to an album with no great moments but no horrible moments? I count myself in the former camp. I didn't used to, but I do now.Thus, in reality, I no longer think Head Games is the best Foreigner album even though I continue to recognize it sports a few considerable sonic improvements from their previous albums. The worst songs in Head Games aren't quite as soul-sucking as the worst songs from Double Vision, but where are the strong, radio-friendly singles Double Vision, Hot Blooded, Cold As Ice, Feels Like the First Time or Long, Long Away From Home? The best thing this album has is the opener Dirty White Boy, which is fine, but it lacks stamina. Love on the Telephone is a power ballad that sounds nice (don't get used to it) with a well-written melody, but it's mostly forgettable. I'll Get Even With You sounds more like The Cars than it does Foreigner, which probably explains why I like it.I used to really like the upbeat folk-rocker Do What You Like, but I listen to it now mostly unimpressed. It's lighthearted and fun, a tone that I wish these ultra-serious jerks would adopt more often, but that melody is so repetitive that it starts to get stale by the time it's over. I also used to like the faux-'50s rocker Women for that snarly guitar tone they introduce at the beginning. While I still like that guitar tone, I find the rest of the song comes off as terribly stale.And those were songs I liked! The rest of the stuff on here is mediocre. There's the cheeze-rock wannabe anthems Seventeen and Head Games both containing dumb chorus. There's the so-ridiculously-overblown-that-it's-rather-amusing power-ballad Blinded By Science. And then there's the wussy synth-rock Rev on the Red Line with one of the most retarded two-note riffs that I've ever had the displeasure of listening to. ...But even though these songs all have their shortcomings, I swear to you, none of that rivals the smelly crap that we were subject to in Double Vision. That is, unless you have the edition of this album with the bonus track. Do yourself a favor and don't get that version. You don't want it. If you happen to defy my wishes and do get the bonus track version of Head Games, then just make sure there aren't any frying pans in your immediate vicinity; you'll be a danger to yourself and others around you.In concussion, Head Games is one of the most consistent Foreigner albums. They more or less seemed like they had it together. But why doesn't it have any of those memorable radio-friendly hits like we're used to? ......AND WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THAT ALBUM COVER? WHAT WON'T YOU DO TO SELL ALBUMS?????Read the track reviews:
Head Games