http://travel.hindustantimes.com/travel-stories/sri-lanka-from-an-insiders-view.php
Thoughts of an Indian bride recently initiated into a new country's
culture :
I have visited Sri Lanka twice: the first was as a tourist and the
second as a bride. Predictably, perhaps, the Emerald Isle revealed
different facets of its social and cultural fabric to me each time.
The common thread linking both these visits was that they were made in
December. Colombo had acquired a festive buzz and Christmas lights
adorned shop fronts and traffic roundabouts.
On my first trip, two years ago, I approached the city with the
distance and perspective of a traveller. What struck me at once were
the wide, leafy avenues and the unhurried air - everyone followed
traffic rules and even at peak hour, there were not too many motorists
honking angrily at each other.
Although it's easy to give in to the illusion, Colombo is no small
town, cocooned from the compulsions of modern metropolises. The city
is too battle scarred to be innocent. Or inconspicuous. Yet, despite
the security pickets at every street corner, the city definitely felt
gentler, kinder and safer than most big cities, in the sense that a
close-knit family feels safe.
A war-ravaged country :
Two years ago, I noted how it seemed like everyone knew everyone else
in Colombo. Perhaps it was a comradeship born from their shared
upbringing, experiences and until recently, fears. During my last
visit, the discussion at Christmas parties invariably turned to war.
Family friends discussed the 1996 bombing of the Central Bank in
Colombo, one of the deadliest terrorist attacks by the LTTE, in which
close to a 100 people had died and thousands had been injured. They
discussed how everyone in Colombo had lost someone in that attack, but
with the detachment that can only come when a war has been playing out
in your backyard for most of your life.
When I visited Sri Lanka in December 2010, there were many things that
had changed - both in my own life and in the country. Inexplicably, I
didn't sense the ebullient joy that you'd expect from a country
picking itself up after being ravaged by violence for so long. It
seemed that the sudden peace, delivered forcefully by a brutally
efficient army, would take time to sink in.
As a bride visiting Sri Lanka for my homecoming, I also got a much
more intimate view of the genteel social mores of the island. From
weeks before the homecoming, gifts had begun to trickle in. It didn't
seem to matter how well we personally knew the gift-givers - or if we
knew them at all - the presents were unfailingly generous.
Post homecoming :
On the colourful night of the homecoming, guests lined up at the
entrance to the ballroom, patiently seeking out their names in the
elaborate table plan we had drawn up. Coming from an exuberant
celebration in Chennai, Colombo struck me as restrained and orderly,
as if keen to not make too much of a spectacle of itself. In Colombo,
no matter how much music and dance you throw into a wedding, it is
still considered a formal celebration. Everyone applauds but not
everyone breaks into a spontaneous jig.
The day after, we returned home to a living room floor covered with
gifts. Each gift had been neatly numbered, and the names of the guests
who had given them entered in an elaborate registry by the hotel
staff. Many of the gifts were immaculately presented and you could see
that as much thought had gone into the outer wrapping as on the
articles inside.
Insights :
There can be no better tutorial in a foreign culture than by getting
married into it. My homecoming in Sri Lanka showed me that even an
understated celebration can be fun, and that sometimes, the way a gift
is wrapped lingers for far longer in the memory than the object
itself. As travellers, we often wish we could understand a different
culture not as voyeurs, from the outside in but with the sensitivity
and insight of an insider. I got an opportunity to acquire, however
fleetingly, a Sri Lankan identity and I'm much richer for the
experience. - Vidya Balanchander