Line: "You don't try" said North Wind
Should read adding a comma: "You don't try," said North Wind
Line: made of her hair but as Diamond
Should read adding a semicolon: made of her hair; but as Diamond
Line: "I should, cry" said Diamond.
Should read moving the comma: "I should cry," said Diamond.
Line: of the-stable lantern was enticing
Should read removing the hyphen: of the stable lantern was enticing
Line: surprised to see her, boy
Should read removing the comma: surprised to see her boy
Line: London The stars
Should read: London. The stars
Line: “I don’t know” said the maid.
Should read: "I don't know," said the maid.
I hope that helps!