Client advice please - unwanted nocturnal emissions

[Kevan Wylie]

Dear All,

I have a 23 year-old male client who has been having unwanted night-time emissions ("wet dreams", sometimes twice a night) for about 5 years.  He has reached a certain level of acceptance of these, but is still keen to find a way to reduce them.  He has never had a relationship and currently wants to focus on his studies (Masters in Computer Science); however, he would like a relationship in the future.

I suggested that, although I didn't think there was any formal evidence (just anecdotal), masturbation may help, but he will not try this because of "religious reasons" (he believes it is against his Christian faith).  He has been doing mindful meditation / relaxation just before bed, which he thinks possibly helps very slightly (perhaps due to general stress reduction).

It appears there is more going on psychologically than he wants to share (e.g. generally he seems to find it difficult to talk in the sessions and in the most recent session he said "things have been tough for a variety of reasons", but he did not want to talk further about this).  I don't know if this is having an impact on the nocturnal emissions.

Anyway, as I wrote above, he is keen to know if there are any further options to try, other than masturbation and relaxation.  I said I would consult my colleagues.

Any thoughts gratefully received.  Thanks in anticipation (mine and his!).

Warm regards,

Alison L Towner

Sexual and Relationship Psychotherapist

Accredited member and supervisor with COSRT, MSc

[trudy hannington]

Hi Alison and Kevan, yes masturbation is definitely the answer, sometimes if you explain that the masturbation is  for health reasons given the circumstances then this can be agreed within their religion. High exercise so that he is using up testosterone can help, I’ve seen a number of sportsman with very low libido due to high exercise.

The other option that might work is a SSRI, but quite a drastic measure! 

Sent from my iPhone

On 7 Sep 2020, at 19:32, Kevan Wylie <kevan...@gmail.com> wrote:



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[Francis, Valerie]

Hi              

I think embracing masturbation and openness about sex helps. We have treated patients with similar concerns about masturbation and their religion. It has helped where they have discussed it openly with their local faith leader who has directly given them permission on health grounds to go ahead.

 

Valerie

 

 

 

Dr Valerie Francis
Head of Psychosexual Service
South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust 

Counselling Psychologist| Psychosexual Psychotherapist

HCPC registration no. PYL06335|BABCP accred.|COSRT accred.

Psychosexual Service | 1^st Floor | Mapother House | De Crespigny Park| Denmark Hill | Maudsley Hospital | London | SE5 8AZ
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Email: psychosex...@slam.nhs.uk

 

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[Michele Sugg]

Dear All,

In addition to the wise suggestions already shared, there are two books which may inform both the client and therapist:

1) ADVANCING SEXUAL HEALTH FOR THE CHRISTIAN CLIENT: DATA AND DOGMA by Rev. Beverly Dale, DMin, and Rachel Keller LCSW

2) SEX, GOD, AND THE CONSERVATIVE CHURCH by Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD

Both helpful resources, in my humble opinion. 

Best,

Michele

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Past-President, American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists

(203) 737-0075
www.MicheleSugg.com

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[Rose Whiteley]

Thank you Michele for sharing these new books.  I wasn’t aware of them and they look as though they could be really useful.

 

One way of talking about Christian shame about masturbation can be to explain that some scholars believe that prohibitions around Onan spilling his seed were based on the (obviously false) belief that babies were essentially contained in sperm, and the womb was basically just an incubator.  Thus spilling seed on the ground was akin to abortion.  Sometimes understanding this can help anti-masturbation Christians come to believe that the prohibition was based on fallacious understanding of biology.  This passage alludes to it, though they’re talking on the theme of birth control rather than masturbation: https://www.christianbiblereference.org/faq_birthcontrol.htm

 

Good wishes to all,

 

Rose

 

Rose Whiteley

Psychotherapist, Psychosexual Therapist and Clinical Supervisor

http://www.whiteleywords.com/Rose/index.html Tel 07940 526664

Please note my new email address: he...@bedfordshiretherapy.co.uk

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[Alireza Tabatabaie]

Hi Alison

Do you know (has he clarified) why he is trying to reduce them (his wet dreams)? And what is the content of his dreams? Is the problem the content? Or the frequency? Or...?

Kind regards

Ali

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Alireza Tabatabaie

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On 7 Sep 2020, at 19:32, Kevan Wylie <kevan...@gmail.com> wrote:



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[Ashok Singh]

Hi Everyone,

I could not stop butting in on this interesting topic. 

I believe, it is not a culture bound phenomenon and is experienced by many young men. This tends to happen during REM sleep which is important for good quality sleep. UNWANTED, Five YEARS and causing distress is the key. 

We need to make sure that there is no any  underlying medical problem and any use of medication? 

We can first explore whether he understands what is it and what is his expectations and his ultimate goal. 

I would guess first step would be to explain and educate about physiology of nocturnal erection followed by normalisation of physiology including the nocturnal emission.

Secondly, address the underlying reason for distress whether, moral, cultural, family or religious cause.

Finally we may be able to suggest ideas which is acceptable to the patient including meditation, masturbation or normalisation of physiological phenomenon. 

I hope that makes sense.

Ash 

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On 8 Sep 2020, at 21:59, 'Alireza Tabatabaie' via SSSSR Sheffield <ss...@googlegroups.com> wrote:

Hi Alison

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