FW: MANAGEMENT COURSE
Manuel Alcuaz
From: Manuel Alcuaz
[mailto:mal...@gmail.com]
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 8:37 AM
To: 'ssci_...@google.com'
Subject: FW: MANAGEMENT COURSE
From: Manuel Alcuaz
[mailto:mal...@gmail.com]
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 7:36 AM
To: 'ssci_tec...@yahoogroups.com'; 'ssci_...@google.com';
'SALVADOR ARNOLD P.'
Cc: A Suan; Escano, Alejandro; 'Alfredo Pascual'; carmen...@gmail.com;
Ceferino Follosco; George Lorenzana
Subject: FW: MANAGEMENT COURSE
From: Rod
[mailto:ro...@yahoo.com]
Sent: Monday, July 11, 2011 6:19 AM
Cc: recipient list not shown:
Subject: Fwd: MANAGEMENT COURSE
Sent from my iPhone
dr rod
Begin forwarded message:
From: Georg...@ph.mcd.com
Date: July 5, 2011 2:24:16 PM GMT+08:00
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Subject: Fw: MANAGEMENT COURSE
----- Forwarded by George Yang/PHMCDO on 07/05/2011 02:21 PM -----
From: "Danilo J. De Pedro" <Danilo....@urc.com.ph>
To: Dean Lao Sr. <dea...@dnl.com.ph>, "Alan Hayden (E-mail)" <eki...@iinet.net.au>, "Bobby Atendido (E-mail)" <raal...@yahoo.com>, "C K Chang (E-mail)" <cck...@gmail.com>, "Ed Naranjo (E-mail)" <EdPNa...@PMEtechnic.com>, "Frances Siao (E-mail)" <france...@yahoo.com>, "George T. Yang (E-mail)" <georg...@ph.mcd.com>, "Gilbert Ty (E-mail)" <itma...@yahoo.com>, "Henry Siy (E-mail)" <henr...@chemrez.com>, "Joe Calderon (E-mail)" <du1...@yahoo.com>, "Joey de Leon (E-mail)" <sky...@hotmail.com>, "John Choa (E-mail)" <janno...@yahoo.com>, "John Q. Pilkington" <John.Pi...@urc.com.ph>, "Lito Misa (E-mail)" <gonzal...@gmail.com>, "Miguelito Navarro (E-mail)" <mik...@yahoo.com>, "Willyong8@Yahoo. Com (E-mail)" <will...@yahoo.com>, Felomino Mongan <fel_m...@yahoo.com>, "Ian T. Laxina Jr." <Ian.La...@urc.com.ph>, "Emmanuel L. Dolores" <emmanuel...@urc.com.ph>, "Benrus M. Aquino" <Benrus...@urc.com.ph>
Date: 03/31/2011 05:13 PM
Subject: FW: MANAGEMENT COURSE
--- On Mon, 2/7/11, Paul Anthony Gan <ptg...@yahoo.com> wrote:
From: Paul Anthony Gan <ptg...@yahoo.com>
Subject: MANAGEMENT COURSE
To: ptg...@yahoo.com
Date: Monday, February 7, 2011, 12:49 PM
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower,
when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob,
after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders, in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said,
'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk.
'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep.
'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing..
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and
rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up..
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of
that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree..
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird
under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
DISCLAIMER: This e-mail and any files transmitted with it are intended solely for the individual or entity that these are addressed to. These are confidential and may be legally privileged or protected by law. If you have received this e-mail in error, please notify the sender immediately and delete this e-mail from your system. Unauthorized use, copying, or disclosure of any part or in full of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. E-mails from the urc.com.ph domain do not automatically represent official policy or opinion of Universal Robina Corporation. Universal Robina Corporation does not also guarantee the e-mail to be secure or error-free as information could contain viruses or be corrupted, delayed, destroyed, incomplete, intercepted or lost. Universal Robina Corporation does not accept liability for any damage caused due to errors, omissions, viruses, or other defects in the contents of this message which may arise as a result of this e-mail transmission.
GADC assumes no liability for direct and/or indirect damages arising from the user’s use of GADC’s e-mail system and services.Users are solely responsible for the content they disseminate.GADC is not responsible for any third-party claim, demand, or damage arising out of use the GADC’s e-mail systems or services.