srila prabhupada said...!!!

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

Tonight I spoke with devotees in my room. I read from things I had written about Prabhupada in Vrndavana when I was with him. Prabhupada didn't suddenly start speaking extensively about rasa-lila or Krsna's Vraja pastimes just because he was in Vrndavana. But he did seem to be in a special mood. The first time I went into his room after we had arrived, his eyes were shining. He looked more mystical when he was in Vrndavana. We could see he was at home. Even his silence on the subject of rasa-lila made us feel his potency. We recognized by his power that we were in the holy dhama. Krsna's pastimes took place here, although at present they were aprakat, not manifest now. Prabhupada knew about Krsna's pastimes.

Sometimes devotees would ask Prabhupada esoteric subjects about Vrndavana, but he would cut them short. He could read their mentalities. Rather than answer their questions directly, he would address their mentalities. A devotee asked, "What's the difference between Goloka and earthly Vrndavana?" Prabhupada replied, "No difference, but your mind is in America."

Even while in Vrndavana, Prabhupada stressed worldwide preaching. Prabhupada was here when enthusiastic devotees attended from all over the world. They were happy in their own prabhu-datta-desas. They reported to him about their book distribution and temple development, and Prabhupada encouraged them. He didn't call everyone to Vrndavana to sit and chant; he encouraged worldwide preaching.

One day in Vrndavana, in 1975, I told Prabhupada that the European and American devotees were going back to the West. Srila Prabhupada said, "Yes, this is the real life, preaching and book distribution. You have learned to keep Vrndavana in your heart." We pray to make this true.

While reading tonight, I began to appreciate Prabhupada's strength. Sometimes he is a thunderbolt, other times a rose. I felt suddenly proud to have such a guru. I also began to understand why he had to adopt the chopping technique of his own spiritual master. He was a powerful guru who was trying to save the world.

At the same time, he was fully capable of understanding Vrndavana-bhajana-rasa. After all, he lived in Vrndavana for years, wrote his books here, and lived alone at Radha-Damodara temple. He was very, very sensitive to the atmosphere in Vrndavana. Sometimes, if devotees were sincere, he would reveal a little of it to them.

When I spoke about Prabhupada cutting people down who inquired too much about the rasa dance, one devotee asked, "What about devotees who come to live now in Vrndavana in ISKCON? They become familiar with Krsna consciousness and Radha-Krsna here. It is natural for them to inquire into Krsna's pastimes and to absorb the Vrndavana mood."

"Well," I answered, "when Prabhupada thought a devotee was sincere, he would fully answer their questions." In 1967 a devotee asked, "Please tell us about Lord Caitanya diving into the ocean." Prabhupada told her it was a good question and went on to answer it ecstatically. So even when we were ignorant, if he thought we were innocent, and if he felt inclined, he would answer.

The Krsna book describes the spiritual master as a waterfall which sometimes flows in the rainy season and sometimes is still. When I asked Prabhupada what this meant, Srila Prabhupada said that the spiritual master is not obliged to speak. When he feels inspired, he will speak to his disciple in a relevant way. He will not give the disciple information he is not ready to receive. But he never handles his disciple roughly. He is interested in the disciple's welfare, and therefore, he is willing to teach Krsna consciousness according to the disciple's needs.

Prabhupada was like this. He was not obliged. He spoke what we could understand and withheld what we couldn't. He kept us in check by engaging us in service to the Krsna consciousness movement. That service made us happy. We knew we had expert guidance. Even the fact that he didn't speak so much Vrndavana krsna-katha in our presence was his mercy, his expertise. At the same time, he gave us everything, including knowledge of Krsna in Vrndavana, in the Caitanya-caritamrta, Nectar of Devotion, Krsna book, and so on.

I am in Vrndavana. By studying what advanced Krsna consciousness is, I am appreciating that Prabhupada was in that state. I have been reading Raga-vartma-candrika by Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura, which describes raganuga-bhakti. The raganuga-bhakta performs sadhana which is helpful to him. There are other kinds of rules and regulations, some of which he is neutral to, some of which can be dropped, and some which must be dropped. I can understand that Prabhupada conducted his life in that way. His only concern was for things that fostered the preaching and spreading of Krsna consciousness and the cultivation of essential spiritual life. He even told us that Vaisnavas don't always follow the rules and regulations as strictly as Mayavadis. Sometimes they are a little slack. I wondered what he meant by that, but now I realize that advanced devotees only follow those practices which nourish pure devotion. Pure devotion is not vague. God consciousness means Krsna consciousness, which specifically means service to Radha-Krsna. The more I study texts about the most advanced Krsna consciousness as it exists between the Lord and His eternal associates, the more I see that Srila Prabhupada was in that league.

Also, the more I study and hear about madhurya-lila, the more I can understand Prabhupada's expertise. He introduced us to the forms of Radha-Krsna from the very beginning. In fact, even in those 1966 days, Prabhupada freely told us about Krsna and Radha.

But he also demonstrated gravity and privacy in his emotions. He taught us that even if one is above the rules and regulations, he should still follow most of them to set an example. Prabhupada was sober. He didn't give vent to many ecstatic expressions; we rarely saw him cry or go into trance, although occasionally they overpowered him. I'm sure he didn't think we were qualified to witness his internal feelings. Lord Caitanya was also careful about revealing His internal emotions when he was near superficial, ritualistic brahmanas while He was speaking with Ramananda Raya. Prabhupada was always in the presence of doubters and atheists while preaching in the West. And his mission was to free us from the most gross contaminations so we could work for Krsna. He knew work would be good for us and would help us become attached to Krsna. He also knew that we would be helpful in spreading the preaching mission. Therefore, he didn't encourage us to become babajis.

Srila Prabhupada, please reveal more to me about your eternal position. I want to serve you and worship you in that way. I have awakened to this now, but in the name of learning more about the inner nature of Krsna consciousness, I don't want to in any way slacken my attraction and appreciation for you, my diksa, siksa, eternal guru. I want to understand how you are the eternal resident of Vrndavana whom I may follow to learn of my eternal relationship with Krsna.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada Gita-nagari Press-Prabhupada Meditations-October 4-Satsvarupa dasa Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

May 25^th 1972

Los Angeles morning walk notes

Srila Prabhupada said: Our movement in India is pushing on despite so many enemies. The first enemies are my Godbrothers, then the government, then the brahmana class. Krsna had so many enemy demons. He proved Himself by killing them. We have to prove ourselves and kill the enemies, but we kill by propaganda, not by assassination. In Bombay they are distributing prasada daily for two hundred people, and in Mayapur, two hundred people weekly.

On gurukula:

Let the children play at krsna-lila. They can play that one is a cowherd boy and some are cows. Let them eat their food without their hands, off the ground, with their mouths. They'll like it. Let them play like that for an hour and then fifteen minutes for ABC. So it is not monotonous.

In the garden:

The gopis' love for Krsna was beyond the regulative principles. The last word in regulative principle is to always think of Krsna; they could never forget Krsna. Therefore, no need of regulative principle. Like the devotee who prays,  Farewell my bathing,  etc.  I will just sit and think of Govinda.  But don't imitate.

Krsna never leaves Vrndavana.

On Life Membership:

For someone in this country, a thousand dollars is not much. Any gentleman can afford a thousand dollars.

GBC meeting

Verbatim notes from Srila Prabhupada

GBC means tour extensively, not sit in one place and pass resolutions. They must be active. They must act like me (an old man traveling everywhere). Travel extensively.

Extensive touring means expanding the mission. (Karandhara has an extensive field locally in L.A.) Simply touring is not required. Do something substantial to increase the society's interests. One must take multi-responsibilities. We must expand. The framework of expansion has been done by me. Just like a skyscraper building. So far the framework, I have done it with your help. It is an important movement. It is not a farce. They are kept in darkness about God and we are delivering God. That must be pushed. What is your opinion? They say there is no God, we say here is God. What do you think? We have to push on with conviction. God is a person. We give you His name and address. If you have got any doubt whether Krsna is God, then you cannot do it. If you are not convinced, how you can convince others? Whether you are all convinced on this point (that Krsna is God). What is your opinion? So far I am concerned I am convinced and therefore I am pushing on. It is a fact I am pushing on because I am pushing on on fact, not fiction. That much I am personally convinced. Whenever someone says,  You believe,  I say,  No, I don't ‘believe' it is fact.  It is not a question of believe or not believe. God is there. God must be there. Your believing or not believing doesn't matter. People are in misconception. God theories: God is dead, God is impersonal, everyone is God. But it is not theory. We have got positive presentation. With that conviction you have to push on so you have to be prepared in that way. Opposing elements you have to face. By your arguments, by your knowledge. This is required. At least we must have faith in that way. Knowledge comes from Brahma. He said, to Krsna:  Yes, You are God. You appear to be a child but You are God.  Brahma is giving support. If we follow Brahma.

isvarah paramah krsna

sac-cid-ananda-vigrahah

anadir adir govindah

sarva-karana-karanam

Brahma samhita: text 1

Vedanta-sutra confirms that He is the source of everything. You must spread your conviction by your literature, argument, preaching, facing opposing elements. Our advancement means the more we meet opposing elements.

The local president and treasurer (of the temple) will manage. The GBC can supervise that things are going on. The first management is that each and every member is chanting sixteen rounds and following the regulations. Otherwise, where is our spiritual strength? Haridasa Thakura, such an exalted personality, so advanced in his numerical chanting (he never stopped). Therefore he was given nama-acarya. Even at the time of his death. Three hundred thousand names daily. He is an example. Sixteen rounds is not a very large number. The lowest in India is twenty. See that the members are chanting. Then you do other things.

Otherwise, there will be material desires. Bhakti is so pure that it has nothing to do with fruitive or speculative or mystic results. The gopis and gopas had nothing to do with this nonsense. They were simple boys and girls, but their position is exalted. Krsna is everything for them.

The devotees' love for Krsna is enormous but not sentimental. If anyone wants to talk with him, he is prepared,  Yes, come on  that is uttama-adhikari.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada Gita-nagari Press-ISKCON In The 1970s- Are You Convinced? April 27^th - July 25^th 1972-Satsvarupa dasa Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

During these years, Srila Prabhupada had instituted a system wherein one of his GBC members would travel with him each month in addition to his regular party of a personal servant and secretary. The GBC men became his secretaries for answering his mail, and they were supposed to receive personal training by being with Prabhupada, which they certainly did. However, it was inconvenient for Prabhupada to have to change GBC men every month.

At this time, I was the GBC secretary for some Midwest temples and had a base at the Dallas gurukula. A telegram was sent to Dallas saying that I was to be the next secretary and that I should come as soon as possible to Mayapur, India, to relieve the previous secretary. This was the first time that I had travelled outside North America since joining the Krsna consciousness movement and I did not even have a passport.

In the spirit of surrender that was prominent in those days, especially if one got the call from Srila Prabhupada, I did not waste any time. I immediately packed up, flew to New York, and went to get a passport. I had no identification to prove I was an American citizen, but I showed up at the passport office with my Godbrother, Visnujana Swami. The woman asked him,  Do you know this man, and has he lived in America for the last five years?  Visnujana Swami said,  Yes, of course.  She then asked him what my name was and he replied,  Satsvarupa,  which was the only name he had ever known me by. Since it was not my legal name, this caused some confusion, but somehow she decided that I was fit for an American passport.

It was an exciting adventure for me to fly alone to India. I met an Indian man on the plane who took me in a car to the Calcutta temple. The lights in the little outdoor shops and the density of the population gave me culture shock and it all seemed somewhat frightening. We arrived at the temple late at night and I lay down on the floor next to Pancadravida Swami. The next morning, I took a train to Mayapur.

Srila Prabhupada seemed to be pleased that I had arrived, and he welcomed me cordially. Srila Prabhupada said that there were now five sannyasis in Mayapur. This gave me a feeling of real belonging, and a good spirit for being a sannyasi.

Mayapur was very hot at that time; it was difficult for me to adjust to it. When I wasn't actually in Prabhupada's room taking dictation from his mail and so on, I would be in my room trying to get through the heat. I wanted to ask Prabhupada some personal questions about my service in America whether to stay in the Dallas temple or to do more travelling but I wanted to be a well-behaved secretary. I did not push my personal questions on him until the very end of my stay.

It was during this time in Mayapur that Prabhupada translated and gave purports for the Upadesamrta (The Nectar of Instruction). The work had been suggested to him by his disciple, Hrsikesananda dasa. He worked on this book by dictating it aloud while I wrote it down in pen. I was thrilled to be involved in the production of the book, and impressed at how the perfect purports came from Prabhupada so spontaneously.

Once, Prabhupada called me into his room and asked me if I knew any places that were well known for good water. He was having trouble with his digestion. I remember feeling flattered that he had called me in for such an intimate chat, but unfortunately, I did not have any information to help him. I recall other times like that when Prabhupada asked me something  normal  about the world and I proved my ignorance by not knowing the answer.

During this Mayapur stay, Prabhupada also made a visit to see his Godbrother, Sridhara Maharaja, in Navadvipa. I tagged along with him and it was a very pleasant time.

After about two weeks in Mayapur, we shifted to Calcutta. My job was to stand as a kind of  friendly wall  just outside Prabhupada's room and not let intruders in. It was the usual impossible task. Srila Prabhupada's intimate disciples, such as Tamal Krishna Goswami, would barge past me, and if I got too strong and stopped a few, especially some of the Indians, then Prabhupada objected to my blockade.

When I became sick, I simply lay flat on the floor right outside his room. There was nowhere else to go. Prabhupada sometimes came out of his room and saw me lying there helplessly. He advised me to get a shot for cholera.

Not long afterwards, Prabhupada decided dramatically to go to the Ratha-yatra in London, even though he was quite sick from dysentery. Syamasundara dasa had sent tickets for Prabhupada's permanent party, but not for the extra GBC secretary. I had my own return ticket, but it was via Bombay. They left without me, although I still had about two weeks left in my designated month with Prabhupada. I hastened to catch up to him via Bombay.

My short stay in Bombay was nice because I was able to associate with my Godbrothers, Tamal Krishna Goswami and Giriraja Prabhu. This was still during the early phase of ISKCON in India, and they were glad to see a devotee from America. I was also glad to be with them. I was such a greenhorn in India and they made me feel at home. They were living simply in a hut, but they served me halavah and told me some of the inside view of things in India.

Finally, I arrived in England. Prabhupada was seeing professors and important guests such as George Harrison, and I often sat in. We went on morning walks every day and I continued to answer Prabhupada's letters. Just before I left, I asked him my questions about what I should do in the Midwest zone. My month with Prabhupada had given me a spirit for preaching and deepened my admiration for him. It also gave me a first taste of India.

*   *   *

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada Gita-nagari Press-ISKCON In The 1970s-We Have Only Done 1% of Our Work   June 18^th -July 24^th 1973-Satsvarupa dasa Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

June 18^th 1973

Mayapur Notes from Srila Prabhupada's

room conversation

If you preach to the materialistic class of men, but after preaching cannot draw something tangible from them, then your preaching is half successful. They should give money or become a member. Materialistic men are not interested in Krsna or Bhagavatam, but in family comforts nice apartment, beautiful wife, children, etc. So if they can give some of their hard-earned money. 

Preach. If you can't preach, go on chanting. Srila Prabhupada said that at least in his books, the word Krsna appears about four times on each page. Even if the rest is rubbish, at least the name Krsna, Krsna, Krsna is there.

June 19

Went to Calcutta. Had jeep accident. Bhavananda hurt his legs. In the evening, kirtana at Calcutta temple led by Dinanatha. Anxious to get back to Mayapur.

June 20

Return to Mayapur. Prabhupada chastised me  Should have common sense  for not insisting that the bank accept our checks. They should have written their refusal to us, stating why. Prabhupada decided definitely not to go to Australia for Ratha-yatra. Syamasundara and Mukunda visit. Prabhupada plays George Harrison's new album and says:  Any intelligent man will be able to see he has been infected [with Krsna consciousness].  Wonderful, menial service as secretary to His Divine Grace.

When he heard George Harrison's record,  Living in the Material World,  Srila Prabhupada asked to see a copy of Brahma-samhita. He had the verse read:  Lowest of all is located Devi-dhama [mundane world]; next above it is Mahesa-dhama [abode of Mahesa]; above Mahesa-dhama is placed Hari-dhama [abode of Hari] and above them all is located Krsna's own realm named Goloka. I adore the primeval Lord Govinda, who has allotted their respective authorities to the rulers of those graded realms.

June 21

Re a plan to send two men to villages:  But where are such expert men? If you send an ordinary man, what can he do? He will after a few months close it. But development is to send sankirtana party. That was a proposal (two men to villages). It takes a very expert man. I was just one man and I opened 100 centres.

June 23

From here, Bhaktisiddhanta Road is a show of silhouettes in hot haze: rickshaw men peddling bicycle carriages, cows, and a buffalo or two being herded along the road by a boy in his straw umbrella hat. Nearby fields, jute, rice, vegetables.

June 24

Srila Prabhupada said we have done only 1% of our work. It is all in Srimad-Bhagavatam. Now we have to demonstrate it. ISKCON is like the appearance of the Varaha incarnation, who sprung from Brahma's nostril in a small size and suddenly grew half the size of the universe. Brahman means bigger than the biggest and still becoming bigger. In every one of our centres there must be arati and sankirtana going on, or else Krsna consciousness becomes slack. We have to keep alive. Thus, daytime sleep should be avoided. We can take a little rest, but otherwise, if tired, chant Hare Krsna. Our centres are there to invite people to keep alive.

Discussing a book in Bengali about an assembly of sinners who were amazed at the appearance of Lord Caitanya, and lamented that now that Lord Caitanya has appeared, there will be no more illicit sex and other sinful activities. He said people in the West think like that about the Hare Krsna movement shocked that we intend to end meat-eating, illicit sex.

June 26- 28

Crossing the Ganges in an old wooden boat. Prabhupada sat. People calling out to us,  Hare Krsna.  Srila Prabhupada said that wherever we go and people see us, they say Hare Krsna. Even when he arrived in a plane stopover at night, they chanted Hare Krsna.

Calcutta Went to the kaviraja's house. He felt Srila Prabhupada's pulse. Then Prabhupada went to another room and everyone in the house came to receive darsana and offer fruit. We held Hare Krsna kirtana. Me, terrible headache, weak from cholera shot, leading chanting in kaviraja's, Srila Prabhupada pleased. Big basket of fruit.

Riding in the car afterwards we said hardly anything. Then this morning we visited another man's home, a modest apartment, seemingly mundane things (talking in Bengali), and Prabhupada finally told them to chant Hare Krsna.

I was very sick for two days, now returned to life, eating, digesting, working. Srila Prabhupada ate a kacauri yesterday, cooked by his sister, and now he has become sick again. Plans are uncertain now about going to London. Thinking to ask him how I can expand my activities in the zone. I am so saturated with self-interest if I could only think,  What is best for Krsna,  then I would get direction how to do big things for the zone. Festivals coming together, parades in Chicago, Detroit, Cleveland.

Srila Prabhupada is ill. His sister is coming to see him but not helping. Took picture of Nrsimhadeva from altar.

Srila Prabhupada subdued us. He called in his big GBC and sannyasi leaders their consensus was go to good climate, Hawaii or L.A., to rest. No, he wanted to preach in the West. All leaders subdued by his calm forceful statement of  strength of mind.

Srila Prabhupada said,  Strike while the iron is hot. I think that is an English maxim. Then you can keep it in shape.

In the West they are fed up. I want to give spiritual enlightenment. Two very misleading theories: (1) life comes from matter, (2) there is no life after death (so enjoy), everything is matter. As this movement grows, Communism will be curbed.

They try for unity, but this simply means our Ratha-yatra festival. They have no brain to see. By the complicated League of Nations and United Nations, still they fail. This simple method all over the world. Gandhi's method was to cut up India into India and Pakistan, and now who cares for non-cooperation, non-violence? But by our movement this culture is spread all over the world. Jagannatha means  Lord of the Universe.  International God thanks to ISKCON.

July 4^th 1973

He criticized Western civilization for ruination of human living. They are thinking there is no time for self-realization. Not only must they work eight hours a day, but they try to save time for spending at naked dancing, vacations, intoxication. Our movement is fighting this. It is not religious sentiment, but trying to save humanity from ruin.

Regarding Midwest zone, Srila Prabhupada said that since centres are established there, then go into interior come and go, come and go, some go south, some go north, in this way (cover all the towns and villages). If we make some devotees, we can open centres. Centres should not be opened whimsically, opened one day and closed the next.

I can go with my party and encourage the centres also to send parties, not just to do hard-core book distribution. Give them direction but preach, meet people, hold feasts in cities go to the interior, chanting in Kansas City, Topeka, Minneapolis, etc.

Riding home in a taxi from the pandal, question asked by Jayapataka Swami:  If we gain political power, will we follow Manu-samhita?

First gain power, Srila Prabhupada said. Then yes, Manu-samhita. Actually everything is in the Gita and Bhagavatam in gist. Manu-samhita is based on varnasrama and that is in the Gita,  I created the four orders.  First we would divide society into orders by quality and work, not birth. Someone made a brahmana would have to act like a brahmana or else he would be punished.

Being asked, he told Pancadravida Swami how to preach to smartas in South India who may know Sanskrit:

Learn five slokas a month; in six months you'll know thirty slokas. That should be enough to present Bhagavad Gita. PDS said Hrsikesananda was going to help him with pronunciation. Srila Prabhupada said, this-ananda, that-ananda, be your own person. Do not be dependent on someone else to learn your work for you. When asked how to preach to Shaivites, Srila Prabhupada said,  Ask them, ‘My dear sir, do you accept Bhagavad Gita?' They will all say yes. Then quote: ‘Those whose intelligence is maddened worship the demigods.' Come to understand Bhagavad Gita well, even in English, and you can preach.

About me and getting through international airlines, customs entanglement,  He is doing his best, but he does not have experience. If every month a new man, then I have to suffer.  TKG said,  But we suffer when you get angry upon us.  Srila Prabhupada said,  But your suffering is secondary.  He was detained three hours in Paris and practically jailed four days from Africa to Australia.  I am coming and going so much. I am a little bit known. I should not have to wait on lines. That is the job of the secretary. He should be so expert that these rascals with all their rules are answered and I am not detained as an ordinary person.

I would say,  It is all right. I have checked everything.  He would reply,  You say that, but then I will be stopped at the airport.  If everything is not cleared, he is detained.

You have to have a brain, always alert. One who has a brain has strength.

Giriraja dasa on India

He told me that Srila Prabhupada said six months in India is equal to two years in the U.S. The devotees were comfortable in the Akash-ganga flat and didn't want to move to the asrama at Juhu, which has far less amenities. Srila Prabhupada said to TKG,  Don't you want to be purified?  Pancadravida Swami said that the Juhu asrama had rats and was run down. His Divine Grace said,  Many people in India live in very simple houses and they keep them clean, but you Americans eat something and throw the dish in the corner for six months that is why you have rats.

Tribulation is good for advancement. The pain the devotees suffered while Mrs Nair sometimes turned off the electricity, and when they went eleven days without water, being blasphemed, having the temple torn down that pain is austerity and makes for advancement. The difficulty of India makes one turn to Krsna (if he is intelligent) as the only shelter.

July 10

London

Went to his room. Srila Prabhupada said,  At long last.  Asked me about my journey from Bombay.  So you were able to break your journey?

Revatinandana Swami said he was speaking to an Oxford professor who said the Bhagavatam was written only 1,500 years ago and can be told by the modern literary style. Srila Prabhupada said,  Ask him what he thinks of the acaryas. His opinion is not the all-in-all. Just as he has an opinion, so the great acaryas, Sankara, Ramanuja, Madhva, Lord Caitanya, they all accept that the Gita and Bhagavatam are 5,000 years old. This is Indian culture and they are the great authorities. You [tell the professor like this], you are nothing in India. You are not accepted.

About the scholar, tell him there is a saying: In private one may say the queen is a prostitute, but one cannot say that publicly. Their opinion is like that, not something they can say publicly.

Srila Prabhupada said he liked to meet with famous men. At least he can  corner them  and defeat them.

He told a British school teacher that he should not be a teacher if he is imperfect. Srila Prabhupada said it is like the blind leading the blind.  Yes,  the man said,  I think we are all partially blind.   No,  Srila Prabhupada said,  not that everyone is blind. Someone has eyes.  Then the teacher said that God cannot be described. Srila Prabhupada gave the word  Krsna  as  all-attractive  and as a perfect description of God for everyone.

God does not force us to be obedient. Otherwise, we could not be part and parcel of God. We are the same and yet different, just as with one's mortal father. The difference is that He maintains everyone; everyone is maintained by Him.

God is good. Rejecting Him we are bad. Anyone who is in prison is understood to be a criminal, even though you may say he is very intelligent. Anyone in the material world is bad, a fool, and a rascal.

That verse,  avajananti mam mudha,  is very dangerous for the demons.

Morning walk, recalling talking with the teacher Srila Prabhupada said,  The question is who is authority for knowledge? Authority is God. One who represents God is authority. Is it very difficult? If I say this is a cane and you repeat ‘this is a cane,' you are authority. But if you manufacture something, then you are not authority.

In his room to Bhagavan dasa and me:  It is not that everyone will immediately accept your Krsna consciousness.  We have to meet opposing elements. The more we successfully meet them, that is the success of preaching. We have to always win. Yes, we always win if we have complete faith in Krsna. Then as we preach and answer, we will always win. Krsna is God. If we are on His side, we will win always.

It is our fault if they are not convinced. Srila Prabhupada is awake, alive by this philosophy, convinced that the soul is eternal. Vedic authority is sound, right before us it is available transcendental information it is more convincing than any other religious system against atheism. We have already accepted it now we have to become absorbed and alive and convinced. Once absorbed in the ocean of Krsna consciousness, then I don't think there would be so much worrying, planning,  How shall I best engage? Shall I travel outside the temples? Shall I do this? Why doesn't anyone come to our university lectures? What is the most effective engagement?  If I am absorbed, the answer will be there. Really joyful, really alive, really preaching, convincing.

The devotee also requires to be convinced, not just the non-devotee, the sympathetic or unsympathetic guest. The initiated devotee, the brahmana, everyone one who is alive in Krsna consciousness can convince others.

Srila Prabhupada spoke with a French professor who objected to Prabhupada's explanation of  Thou shalt not kill.  Srila Prabhupada told him that it is because he is accustomed to killing.  You have to agree on the principle that killing is not good business.

Later, Srila Prabhupada said the Christian religion does not support animal-killing. Jesus first became disgusted with Judaism when he saw they were killing animals in the synagogue. He thought,  What is this?  and went to India to study. He was a great personality; undoubtedly he wanted to give them something sublime. Now the followers are killing. How abominable. And they say,  What have we done wrong?  when no one comes to church. They are trying by flattery to get people to come, but there has to be something substantial. Not that you can make a friend by flattery. You cannot simply cry,  I love you, I love you.  That will not create a loving atmosphere. There has to be a sincere understanding for friendship to develop.

Later, Srila Prabhupada said it is very difficult to accept Krsna consciousness on principle because then you are immediately out of this world, in Vaikuntha orbit. They are afraid to try it, but if they do, everything will be all right, they will leave that orbit and go into Vaikuntha orbit.

Srila Prabhupada said that people don't know how they are suffering in the material world. If we can save even one person, it is a great service.

The head of the nation is Nixon, and the activity is killing and throwing away grains. Soul-killing civilization. We have to fight and save at least a few.

Life means high qualities. One who is not Krsna conscious is hovering on the mental platform, which comes from non-permanent things.

July 17

Prabhupada was stressing the chanting of Hare Krsna. Just chant and dance. The boy who the night before was arguing about so many things, yoga, etc., came back the next morning and liked the kirtana. People are attracted. American and Europeans become ecstatic. Panditji had lost a book and was looking for it it was about ceremonies, hymns, etc. Srila Prabhupada said it was not possible to introduce this in the West. Srila Prabhupada said the fire ceremony we perform is mostly a show only. This is the inner meaning of it. If we simply tell people to chant Hare Krsna, they will not be attracted, so we give them a show. But make it a short-cut show. If you chant Vedic hymns all day, they will not benefit. If you can get them simply to chant and dance all day, that is enough. Chant, dance, take prasadam, and rest. Don't rest like Kumbakarna (Ravana's brother who used to sleep twelve years), but just to appease the deficient body. Bhaktivinoda Thakura condemned smarta-class brahmanas. Simply chant Hare Krsna. We should stress this whenever we have time, chant Hare Krsna loudly or softly, but the tongue should be moving, not officially or blurring it. He told Panditji that to become a smarta-pandita with wooden slippers, dressed like them and going to seek panditas, was a waste of time. Dance. Even if there is no ecstasy, dance and it will come. Dancing is so nice. Is that all right?

Kirtaniya-sada. Chanting is good in every age. Prahlada preached like that in Satya-yuga. The people in those ages were proud of material accomplishments, but they could have simply chanted Hare Krsna. Everything else is additional to the chanting. Gosvamis added some of the old procedures just so smarta-brahmanas wouldn't reject it as a strange new movement. The main thing is chanting.

July 18

On proposed visit by philosopher Albert Ayer:  What is his philosophy?

Syamasundara:  He doesn't believe in the existence of God.

Srila Prabhupada:  I will give him evidence. I will ask him what he means by the existence of God and ask him to make a list of deficiencies of God's existence.  He proposed how Europe could take to Krsna consciousness. If Christian and Buddhist leaders were convinced to take to Krsna consciousness as the essence, then U.S.A. would follow.

July 21

Mr. Kumar had suggestions and wanted to work for ISKCON, but required money for his mother in India.  No,  said Srila Prabhupada,  our men work twenty-four hours a day without a farthing. Even the Indian boys were faltering in pronouncing Sanskrit, but our men know because they are dedicated. All we need is dedication. I am not a Sanskrit scholar, but I am pulling on and scholars say it is good. My Guru Maharaja's spiritual master was illiterate and my Guru Maharaja was the greatest scholar of the day, but when Gaurakisora spoke, it was exactly from the sastra.

Our principle is not to take time to learn something and become expert and then preach, but whatever you know, preach. We have not got time for studies other than class in the morning, class in the evening, and if they read my books, that is sufficient.  He didn't like hearing that they were trying to learn Bengali in New York because,  They will learn six months' work in six years; therefore, I do not like this learning subjects.  Time is short; we have to use what we have. We just depend on Krsna, not on historical religious history or anything. These boys are not scholars but we are pushing on somehow.

Talk of opening a centre in Oxford. Srila Prabhupada said it was better to avoid one demon there, a famous professor who is against Krsna. Go to the students. By getting them we can train one, just as with Svarupa Damodara; then we will kill them with their own weapon.

Go to them, flatter them, make them our friends, and then kick them:  Whatever you have learned is all hodgepodge because you are rascal. Just throw it out and hear about Lord Caitanya.  Kumar had a book. Srila Prabhupada said that the gosvami author was opening a hospital at the end of his life. Bhaktivinoda Thakura was never interested in opening a hospital.

July 24

Mataji in with complaints. Srila Prabhupada told Malati to treat this older lady as her own mother. She is not coming to beg, but to help. See that she is satisfied and doesn't work too hard.

Prasadam should be taken even if I think it doesn't taste good. Bhaktivedanta Manor should have fifty cows, produce ghee, make prasadam always, every guest should get two puris, some halavah and pakoras at least that much and talk, a dining room to sit down in. Temple life shouldn't be dry. Without prasadam it is dry, so always be cooking and have prasadam for guests at any time. A festival every day.

Q: There are few leaders.

A: Yes, because all these boys and girls never had any responsibility before they came. But we have to be very responsible for this or that.

Asked me to stay in room with him when Mataji came in alone.

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

We also don't see much difference in Prabhupada's expressions, whether he is in Hawaii, Tokyo, or on his way to India. When you were with Srila Prabhupada, he spoke krsna-katha everywhere. This was not Krsna consciousness within a bubble. However, we were always on the battlefield.  He says he knows the art, like karate, of pushing at a person's weak point until he dies.  Prabhupada's philosophy was like Krsna's speaking to Arjuna on the battlefield.  Preaching means fighting,  Srila Prabhupada said,  not easy life.

*   *   *

January 1^st 1974

Los Angeles

On his morning walk, Srila Prabhupada said the comet which is in the sky now is a bad sign. He was asked if it is a symptom of catastrophe or whether it was bringing disaster. Srila Prabhupada said it was bringing catastrophe, just as if a policeman were to come among us searching for someone. Srila Prabhupada said it is a sign of great catastrophe. Srila Prabhupada said in 1914 when he saw a small comet, World War I followed. Srila Prabhupada said it is a planet like others, with living entities on it. When told it had a tail emitting gas, he asked,  Who is supplying the gas?  When told that the scientists are excited about the comet because they think it is made of primordial substance and will give us a clue to the origin of the universe, Srila Prabhupada said there is an Indian saying,  A goat will eat anything and a madman will say anything.

January 3

Srila Prabhupada was talking of utilization of time. Never do anything without thinking,  Am I eating this for Krsna? Am I speaking for Krsna?  This is so precious. On the morning walk, Srila Prabhupada said the park is built simply to waste time. One devotee pointed out that leisure time is a problem and the government is trying to figure out what people could do. Srila Prabhupada said that our task is to engage the people's time in Krsna consciousness.

Sometimes we are trees, sometimes serpents, sometimes demigods. Krsna is so kind He is giving us variety. As we get disgusted with the old body, we are given a new, youthful body.

Sex life is the only enjoyment in the material world. Many times he has spoken how sex attraction is very, very strong and only by Krsna's grace is one able to conquer over it.

January 5

In the car I asked him,  Can we go back to Godhead in this life?   Yes, why not?   Because you have to be free of all material desires.   Krsna consciousness means no more desires.   But if someone asked me if he could go back to Godhead in one life and I said yes, and then he asked me if I am going back.     No, it is not a question of whether I go or you go, but if anyone takes to this he will go back to Godhead. Krsna says. Of course, if we are preaching, it is not that we are exporting them by consignment back to Godhead and we are not going. It is expected that the preacher is going also. Just like with our books, we are selling them but not reading. Our students are very expert at selling but not at reading. That is not good. They should read the books also.

January 9

You say life is a dream.   Yes,  Srila Prabhupada said,  at night what you have dreamt is gone in the day.  And at night, your day's activities (I am married, in my house) are forgotten while you dream. They are both dreams you are just a visitor to both. The day dream seems more real because it is of longer duration.

The highest vision is that everything is animate. Even in the atom, the soul is there. Govinda is there and where He is, He is not alone. Everything is there. Even in a shoe, in the make-up of the atoms, He is there. It is not dead. In my body there are lots of living entities, but I am predominant because I have the most developed consciousness. I am most fortunate to have the human form of life. Although it is a dream, in this body we are able to come awake. The Vedas are addressing, uttisthaya,  Wake up, wake up. Now you have the opportunity of the human form of life.

Chanting Hare Krsna is reality. We are in the process. If you know Krsna, you know everything.

January 14

Srila Prabhupada praised Bali Mardan because one boy said he was brought to Krsna consciousness by him. Srila Prabhupada said,  if you can convert one person to Krsna consciousness, that is the quickest way to gain Krsna's recognition. 

A boy questioned whether in ISKCON devotees become too concerned with position and prestige. Srila Prabhupada said those who criticize leave and try to gain the prestige for themselves rather than give prestige to the spiritual master. Everyone wants to be the chief person.

But we have to be obedient and not independent. Do not leave the shelter of the spiritual master. He criticized those who leave the spiritual master when there is some discrepancy in their sense gratification.

On another night in the midst of bank dealings, Srila Prabhupada said that to deal with such apparently material affairs puzzled his brain. But if he gave it up, then that would not be good either, since it was for pushing on Krsna consciousness.

January 16

The government is becoming less enthusiastic about the propaganda value of travelling to the moon. Srila Prabhupada said he stated that going to the moon was a waste of time as early as 1957 in Easy Journey to Other Planets, even while everyone, including Bon Maharaja, was excited by it.  How can I (I am just an ordinary man) have predicted rightly long before?  (How, except for the infallibility of Krsna and Vedic literature? a-brahma-bhuvanal lokah). He heard that some astronauts had become preachers because in outer space, things seemed infinite. Srila Prabhupada said,  Couldn't they see the infinity from here? Well, better late than never.

Read from Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakura's commentary on Srimad-Bhagavatam, Fifth Canto, Chapter Five: hrdaya granthi a knot in the heart is made by sex union. The  lovers  say,  You are my life, you are my life,  but that is illusion. They are only after sex intercourse and for the time being they say,  You are my life.  Home, family and possessions are another knot on top of a knot.

Sex impulse, being the greatest material attraction, keeps us in this material world.

In the Vedic system a girl has a husband before she even reaches puberty. His Godbrothers criticize him as a  matchmaker,  but he is only interested in pushing on the Krsna consciousness movement.

Please save me, Krsna  be strong against the sex urge.

Think, elder members, how to preserve ISKCON against falling away from the principles.

Regarding organization, it cannot be material. Not by by-laws, meetings, vouchers, but by following the instructions of the spiritual master with sincerity. Srila Prabhupada said that whatever success he has had is due to his own following of his spiritual master. To one with faith in the spiritual master and Krsna comes knowledge of scripture. Without faith and sincerity, by-laws will be useless.

They promise at initiation to follow the rules and then break they are not even honest. The Gita verse on brahminical qualities states  honesty.

Read the books (what is already published is sufficient to make a man perfect), chant, go and preach we have enough variety so that no one should deviate. Take prasada, read all day. We have so many books.

The secret of success (1) having a bona fide spiritual master, and (2) following his instructions with sincerity.

In material life one is proud he has cheated the government or another person, but in spiritual life one cannot cheat. That is very bad. It cannot be done.

His Godbrothers, and in the beginning he himself, thought it was impossible to convert Westerners to give up sinful life.

A man came by who does yoga. Srila Prabhupada had me read Bhagavad Gita:  6:47 and the purport. Srila Prabhupada said those who differ or do not unite with Krsna cannot be yogis. Just as Prabhupada is giving us orders,  and,  Srila Prabhupada said,  if they have a different opinion, then they are not devotees.

There is Satya Sai Baba who performs some magic and produces gold. But if (for the sake of argument) they say he is God for producing a little gold, what about He who is producing millions of gold mines? He is the Supreme Proprietor.

A boy in the hospital who is about to die is chanting. Srila Prabhupada said we have to die sooner or later in this body. This is a nice opportunity that he is chanting Hare Krsna. We should not lament. It will not go in vain that devotees are risking their lives. Lord Jesus was crucified, and what are we? Krsna was always fighting demons.

January [?]

Tokyo

If one serves a spiritual master and inquires, then the spiritual master is very liberal and generous and glad to answer. In Kali-yuga one disagrees even with his spiritual master.

One cannot leave the association of the spiritual master and then claim interpretation of his instruction.

If I say I love Krsna but I kick His devotee, what kind of love is that?

If I want to be Krsna conscious, I should live with devotees and the Deity, not that I  love Krsna  and go live in a train station.

Early morning walk in tiny paths, snowy park. He quoted verses about the life of a mendicant who takes clothes people throw in the street, etc. the Japanese work so hard to live in nice houses. A mendicant only approaches them for their good. I commented that hippies in Hawaii might say they follow these verses. Srila Prabhupada said,  therefore, vairagya is useless [without Krsna consciousness]. Monkeys also live in the forest and eat fruits, but they have many girlfriends and sex life.

Riding through industrialized Tokyo he commented how it is all karma, bringing on the next life. Animal life do you want to live as animals or go back to Godhead?

Deviators claim they are above the rules and regulations of devotional service. Srila Prabhupada said we never are. Follow these rules or other rules we must follow traffic rules, rule of birth, death, old age.

Rascals claim they are higher devotees, but they didn't come to see me and pay obeisances.

January [?]

Hong Kong

I asked about splits in the movement. Srila Prabhupada said there was no such thing only insincerity. I chant sixteen rounds, follow the principles and preach, and you do also there is no split, only if one is insincere and doesn't follow.

He appreciated K., who couldn't follow principles and left. Said G. was insincere for falling down, but was going on preaching without his conscience biting.

February [?], 1974

New Delhi

That authority who is everyone's authority is God.

A devotee said another devotee was planning how to take over the world for Krsna. Srila Prabhupada said this was very good.  Yes,  the boy said,  as long as it is not utopian.  No, Srila Prabhupada said, even if it is utopian, it is very nice. After all, who is Krsna? He is not an ordinary man. Anything is possible if one sincerely wishes it for Krsna. He described how he came to the U.S.A. with no backing. (I was thinking of going preaching to a college to get devotees utopian wish should be there:  I want these people to become Krsna's devotees.) Utopian for Krsna is all right.

February [?]

Vrndavana

Srila Prabhupada said he wanted to visit Dvaraka as he had never been there, and never been to Hardwar or other holy places all over India.  I was much more serious about hearing from my spiritual master than in visiting holy places. He noted this and he liked me for it.

Srila Prabhupada said he knows the art, like karate, of pushing at a person's weak point until he dies. In argument Srila Prabhupada said he finds out their weak point and pushes on it until they die.

A communist said that everything is based on economy, economy is the basic principle, even for Krsna conscious people. Prabhupada looked up economy in the dictionary. Srila Prabhupada said it actually means bodily comforts: eating, sleeping, mating, and defending. We have such economy in Krsna consciousness, but it is not our basic principle. The basic principle is transcendental loving service to Krsna. Please Krsna, then the economy problem is solved. Animals have no economic problem either, although they have no big philosophy. Men are all rascals who are not Krsna conscious. Communists, capitalists, all are taking and distributing poison by preaching on the bodily platform. If the communist sees material opulence and says,  Everyone should have poison in a gold pot,  will a sane man agree?  Here is poison in a gold pot.

We say to everyone,  Come on.  Nonsectarian.

A devotee wrote him a letter saying,  You are doubting my business project and so I am not enthusiastic and I am beginning to doubt you.  Srila Prabhupada said,  I do not doubt you as a sincere devotee, but I doubt your business capacity as no money is coming in. I am a layman. I don't know the jewellery business, but if I doubt it, what is my fault?  Besides, the spiritual master can say to his disciple:  You are useless, you are stupid, you are a fool.  That is all right. Not that he has to flatter the disciple.

Starting out on a morning walk in Vrndavana, a devotee said,  You are like the hometown boy who made good. Here in Vrndavana the people are proud of you.  Srila Prabhupada said,  They should. They couldn't do anything.

On a walk in the parikrama area, a devotee saw female peacocks eating, and commented that the males are more beautiful among birds, also fish. Srila Prabhupada said,  among the humans, the women are.  Then,  amongst Mohammedans, a man with big beard and mustaches is considered very beautiful.  The devotee said,  Then we are the least beautiful. We have no hairs.  Prabhupada:  Yes, nobody likes us. We are neither male nor female. No one knows who we are. That is very good. If you are attractive to neither male nor female, then you are liberated.

Q: What is the difference between Goloka and Vrndavana?

A: None but your mind is in America. Fix your mind at the lotus feet of Krsna and you are always in Vrndavana. Krsna is everywhere.

We cannot execute severe penances. Our penance is to try to reform the poor, crazy persons. Tapa means miseries. In any case, even if you try to live for comfort, it will be miserable. And if you think,  All right, it's miserable, but let me enjoy,  still you will have to die. One should take the pains voluntarily for Krsna. He comes to save fallen souls; if you help a little, He'll be pleased. He comes Himself, sends devotees, leaves books, but still we are mad for sense enjoyment. Our penance, therefore, is to try to reform (also those who come to ISKCON and are still troublesome).

Your penance is to work with Caitya-guru dasa  (problem devotee). Take anxiety. For a sane man to work with a crazy man is not pleasurable, but the service to Krsna is pleasurable. He described his own case, leaving Vrndavana (now he is in Vrndavana again, but with mind full of problems, ISKCON anxieties), so he took all risk in old age and went far away to the U.S.A. and now we all have Krsna consciousness. We should do likewise. The work was not pleasurable, but making so many devotees is very pleasurable.

February 9

Lecture notes

Test how much I have conquered over sleeping, eating, mating.

Vrndavana is for paramahamsas. You can't see Vrndavana with visaya, material spirit, or think you can just come to Vrndavana and be a gosvami. One who comes to find Vrndavana with material spirit takes birth as a dog, monkey, etc., in Vrndavana, as punishment. Dogs here are Vaisnavas.

Real Vrndavana is not to eat and mate and sleep, but to follow the advice of Vrndavana-candra and broadcast Krsna consciousness. That is Vrndavana. Vrndavana-dhama is worshipable. Don't commit offense here. Take it as cintamani-dhama, Krsna. Narottama dasa says,  To see Vrndavana is not possible with visaya.  Take shelter of Gaura-Nitai, become cleansed of eating, mating, etc., then see. Don't commit offense; there is special influence in Vrndavana.

Walk

In Vrndavana, whatever service you do has the effect multiplied by one hundred. If you do 1% service, it has the effect of one hundred times that, and whatever offense you commit in Vrndavana has one hundred times the effect. Ordinary persons are therefore advised to visit a holy place for no more than three days because once they get acclimatized to the place, they will begin their sinful activities. Better one becomes purified and leaves on the fourth day. The worst offense to Vrndavana is to commit illicit sex here.

If a gambler is offered profit times one hundred or loss times one hundred. 

February 12

Lecture notes

The process of chanting is to hear. Thoughts may come, but the process is simply to hear and chant with the tongue. Nothing is very hard in Krsna consciousness. Just do it sincerely as the spiritual master orders. Not hard at all. Understand Krsna as the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Simply admit this. Why wait for many births?  My Lord Krsna, You are supreme. For so long I have forgotten You. Now I accept You.  Accept Krsna as the Supreme Absolute Truth and your business is finished if you stay in that position.

Without being free from sins, no one can put their faith at the lotus feet of Krsna. This is the test.

Remarked: sahajiyas walk out during the lecture because they are  so advanced.  They just want to hear about embracing and kissing Radharani. They take this as ordinary, but a real devotee wants to hear Krsna being placed in the super most position. Krsna-katha is very pleasing.

Lecture notes

If one satisfies a saintly person, that means he satisfies Krsna.

Because you are educated doesn't mean you can understand Krsna, but if you approach as His bhakta, servant.  Krsna is very rare, durlabham, but He is adurlabham, very easily handed over by His devotee.

Big devotees keep Bhagavan in their hand. Devotees never describe themselves as big bhaktas.

Perfect means to take your subordinate position.

February [?]

Mayapur

His Guru Maharaja never appointed an acarya, although they are fighting in the law court over who is acarya. As if it can be decided by votes. He talked (his Guru Maharaja) the whole night before his disappearance, yet he never mentioned who should be acarya.

All of Prabhupada's disciples should be acarya, not just twelve. It depends on if you preach. Bhaktivinoda Thakura said a Vaisnava will be told by how many Vaisnavas he has made.

One sannyasi was told that if he doesn't like to take direction from his Godbrothers, he can work independently, but within the jurisdiction of ISKCON. Even Lord Caitanya gave assignments. He told Nityananda to preach in Bengal and Rupa and Sanatana to go to Vrndavana.

The spiritual platform is therefore one of non-enviousness. Materially, we hear one is advanced and we try to curb down. Spiritually, one is glad to see it.

On one walk, Srila Prabhupada was taking the hand of a devotee who was helping him over the rough ground. Srila Prabhupada said,  The Mayavada philosophy is like this. I worship and take help from you, and then when I am out of difficulty, I don't need you any more.

The way a doctor applies medicine to a horse with four men holding down the horse while medicine is forced down his throat this is how we apply Krsna consciousness to nondevotees.

Example: a man is flying a kite, standing on a roof, and is just about to fall off. We are like that, coming to give the man Krsna consciousness to save him from falling into so much suffering in transmigration. But the man objects,  Leave me alone. What are you interrupting me for?

February [?]

Mayapur walk

Srila Prabhupada said one should not break the regulative principles except in an emergency, and then with the permission of the spiritual master, not whimsically. Ahaituky apratihata means devotional service without impediment: story of Caitanya Mahaprabhu's servant, Govinda, who crossed the Lord's legs to serve Him (massage), but not for his own eating.

Someone criticized that devotees are residing on floors above the Deity at Chandrodaya Mandir. For that matter, Srila Prabhupada said, Krsna is in every atom, so how can we walk on the road? We do so in service. That building is not even our temple. We asked others to give us shelter while we built our temple, but they refused, so our preaching must go on. If we did not build a comfortable residence for the Westerners, they would not come.

March 11^th 1974

New Delhi

He wrote a letter to government men speaking of the necessity of divisions of society by quality and work. The proposition was made for a practical varnasrama college, but before we can teach others of varnasrama, our ISKCON has to be divided. Not everyone can study; not all are actually brahmanas, but each should understand that they can attain the same perfection by doing their duty. Not that only the brahmanas achieve perfection. See Gita verses 18:45- 47.

March 16

Vrndavana walk

Godbrothers were planning an event in honour of Srila Prabhupada and suddenly cancelled it on someone's objection to an article in Back to Godhead in which Srila Prabhupada is quoted as saying,  Gosvamis who live in Vrndavana outwardly following rules but secretly sinful, will in their next life become hogs or dogs in Vrndavana.  The envious persons have taken it that the statement means all the gosvamis of Vrndavana, including Rupa Gosvami.

Preaching means fighting, not easy life. His Guru Maharaja was always fighting the Mayavadis.

Srila Prabhupada said gosvami means one who can control the six urges and make disciples all over the world. And (quoting and translating from the prayers to the Six Gosvamis) a gosvami is one who is very conversant with sastra. There are no gosvamis now, at least none visible. Otherwise, why are there so many religions? Krsna said,  Give up all religion and surrender to Me.  An acarya has to defeat all bogus religions.

March [?]

Bombay

He was always thinking how he could benefit everyone. As Gita says, sarva-bhutanam. Unless one comes to this realization, how can he be a representative of God? Srila Prabhupada said he never had national feeling or human feeling, but feeling for all living entities.

At home as a householder, he was doing some preaching and people were coming, but his family members were upstairs taking tea. He was very angry with them. He told his wife,  You either give up tea or lose your husband.  She thought he was joking. He was determined. He took sannyasa; they took it as a great shock. Srila Prabhupada said now he is fully satisfied he did not care to talk about them anymore.

Srila Prabhupada said,  just think how busy Krsna is He is in the heart of every living entity.  I said,  If an ordinary person is too busy, he gets confused.  He laughed,  And yet Krsna is with Radharani and His queens in Dvaraka.  Then Srila Prabhupada said,  this is God.  Srila Prabhupada said his mission is to defeat false yogis, gurus, so-called incarnations. We have to be a servant, but not of them. They cannot do anything like God.  I may not go back to Krsna,  Srila Prabhupada said, but if I can expose these bogus rascals.  

Sannyasis should read and preach all over the world. People speak English everywhere, so defeat the rascals.

Immense field of work all over the world.

I asked if, in addition to my other duties, I should study. He answered,  How else will you progress? You have to have a clear conception of siddhanta. People will come [and you have to defend].

Srila Prabhupada said when we go to the U.S. again, he wants to visit the gurukula and stay for some time. He also wants to start a gurukula at Bhaktivedanta Manor.

But disciples are always envious of one another, even important managers. Even big Godbrothers. That is the material disease. Srimad-Bhagavatam says nirmatsaranam  for nonenvious.  Jealousy starts with envy of Krsna,  I am as good as He.  That will ruin us.

Nitai told him I was sick. I admitted,  Yes, I have diarrhoea from eating at the life members' homes.   Yes,  Prabhupada said,  we should not accept invitations. The difficulty is that I accept invitations, but I eat proportionately. You see something palatable and eat as much as you can. A man may give me hundreds of palatable things, but I will only eat what I can digest. It requires restraint.

You Americans do not know how to eat. You boil a piece of meat.  Indian eating is very palatable [but spicy, and you eat too much and get sick].

India's pleasure is eating. Family together and eating.  and in the temple. At annakuta ceremony in Vrndavana they have three hundred preparations. Each province has its own cooking, spices, preparations and mostly all from grains, ghee, and sugar. Vegetables too.

Girls made him a new set of silk clothes. When he saw them Srila Prabhupada said,  What is this? This colour is not right. I have told them before!  They were bright orange, like the Mayavadis. When I went to gather them up to take them away, however, he stopped me and Srila Prabhupada said,  Who will wear them? Are you going to throw them away?  He is wearing them now because they were made for him.

March 22

Bombay

In an attempt to find out why I am unable to control my senses or relish the words of my spiritual master, in an attempt through writing to find out why I am unhappy although engaged full-time in spiritual life, I will set down purports to various verses of the Caitanya-caritamrta. The main attempt will be to seek earnestly my own self-purification, and it may be of value to readers in that I know the final goal of spiritual happiness only attained when one is blessed is to make empowered glorification of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Sri Krsna.

(1)  By remembering the lotus feet of the Panca-tattva, a dumb man can become a poet, a lame man can cross mountains, and a blind man can see the stars in the sky.  (Caitanya-caritamrta Adi: 8:5)

My bad habits are not horrendous vices, but petty, embarrassing deficiencies which, nevertheless, can, in time, completely surround my growing devotional creeper. Stealing from the spiritual master's stock of sweets is slight enough to seem even humorous, but it has the nature of an offense. More serious is that I fall asleep during his evening lectures. The point is, how can a person who is weakened by such lack of sense control claim to be a gosvami, a representative of Krsna and the spiritual master? How can he hope to change others' lives toward tapasya? How can he chastise others for their own good? One who himself smokes cigarettes cannot tell others,  Don't smoke!

As for unhappiness, it lies in my lack of enthusiasm. I do not chant the holy name with dependence or even attention, just with deadened duty, as if I am stuck. The example is given of a man who falls into a covered-over well in the field. Far from any people's hearing, he may yell, but who will hear him to help him? I have by myself gotten into these bad habits, lost the taste of enthusiasm and immersion in preaching thoughts, and so my lamentation can't bring help.

While my Godbrothers may consider me a surrendered, humble devotee, I am falling asleep when my spiritual master speaks and more a whole list of offenses and bad mental habits.

Not immersed in Krsna-thought. These things disqualify me as I pray to the Panca-tattva to please grant me life enough to worship at Their feet and to chant the Panca-tattva mantra and Hare Krsna with real feeling and attention. That will save me from the swarm of petty vices that have weakened me, and then I can tell the whole world how the chanting of these mantras will save them from their hell-bound path of mass forgetfulness of Krsna, which is making chaos in the world.

(2)  One who does not accept the glories of the Panca-tattva but still makes a show of devotional service to Krsna can never achieve the mercy of Krsna nor advance to the ultimate goal.  (Caitanya-caritamrta Adi: 8:7)

Everyone requires education in who is the real spiritual master and who is Krsna. Formerly the government leaders passed this information down. Prabhupada says we should make this our criteria now for selecting a leader: ask him,  Do you know the Bhagavad Gita?  If he says no, then we cannot give him our vote. Gandhi had the idea, as he always used to pose with a copy of the Gita under his arms, but actually he never spoke about Krsna and he did not actually know the Gita. People have to study the Bhagavad Gita, but not from a professional reciter or professor.

Krsnadasa Kaviraja says,  The education cultivated by so-called scholars who do not believe these statements of Caitanya-caritamrta is like the tumultuous croaking of frogs.  I know readers may take all this as sectarian. (Actually the existence of many sectarian groups is only because there are no strong gosvami preachers. Krsna Himself asked only that we surrender to Him and give up all else being done in the name of religion.)

If someone is taking these beggar's notes as views of a sectarian monk, we refer to Krsnadasa's verse:  If you are indeed interested in logic and argument, kindly apply it to the mercy of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. If you do so, you will find it to be strikingly wonderful.  We do not put forward dry, mundane logic. That is not what he means. Not logic of science or philosophy based on the imperfect senses of this material body. If we study impartially, everyone will agree that there is no one who can surpass Lord Caitanya in humanitarian activities, because He is awarding love of God. It requires study. You may think it is sectarian, although quickly, if you listen, you will agree that it is scientific and not bogus.

Srila Prabhupada once wrote an essay,  Who is Crazy?  The materialists may think we are crazy, but if one is actually living for the pleasures of this body, which is soon taken away and where we go after this body we do not know then such a person is crazy. Lord Caitanya is benefiting the eternal spirit soul. Why Lord Caitanya and not Jesus Christ, Mohammed or someone else? Because He is giving love of Krsna most freely and He is Krsna Himself. His method is most authoritative. Whoever you are, whether you take this as preaching or whatever, please listen, it is for the greatest good. Even though I have admitted so many of my personal deficiencies, and even though you may be already conversant with many high-level understandings of the mind and philosophical thought and experience in the world please go on studying this Krsna consciousness.

Srila Prabhupada said his whole mission is just to expose cheaters in this line. Cheaters in the name of yogi, self-proclaimed incarnation of God, swami, philosopher as you study according to scientific principles you find that almost everyone is cheating in one way or another. And no one has a clear idea of what God is. Srila Prabhupada said,  I may not myself go back to Krsna, but I want to expose the cheaters.

Srila Prabhupada called me and Srila Prabhupada said,  Keep a book. I get many ideas, write them down and consult with management.  He outlined a plan for book distribution here in Bombay: Saturday and Sunday, a sankirtana party from 5 to 8 p.m., girls with selling carts on the beach. Also, reprint small books, go door to door, girls selling cook books, make good connection with the people. He spoke full of energy. I said I would tell the president here to organize it.  No, you do it!  Srila Prabhupada said. GBC means to engage everyone and then no one will be sleeping. He then called Mohanananda, who earlier in the morning he told that he had to help himself or else what good was the spiritual master's counsel? and gave him the whole life-saving engagement to organize printing of small books and the sankirtana party going out with books and leaflets.

March 30

As one preaches continually to non-devotees, discusses the Krsna conscious philosophy with devotees, reads, writes, and chants with not too much involvement in business management, a potency develops. He becomes immersed in these activities more than someone who is not so constantly preaching. This I see as the glory of sannyasa. Taking advantage of the privilege to preach, he trains his tongue to speak only of Krsna and as Srila Prabhupada so often explains, he travels all over the world to spread the message of Bhagavad Gita. Austerity, cleanliness, regulated following of principles (early rising, chanting), outer preaching program to distribute Krsna's mercy in battle against Mayavadis and atheists, jolly in spiritual identity, he represents his spiritual master and Krsna.

While my Godbrothers are out preaching like that, I am still receiving training as my spiritual master's secretary. Sometimes I think,  Why be so eager to go out and preach? You have no potency.  Of course, Krsna helps even a neophyte, and new devotees become attracted. As I see my duties, the first thing is to tend to the particulars of my service writing and filing letters, seeing that Prabhupada's personal needs are met  and then of great importance is hearing attentively on the morning walk and the evening lecture. I have become a hearer rather than a preacher. Let me do it. Let me thoroughly absorb the message from the life of my spiritual master not just the formal lectures, but everything he says and does. Let me not become lax in my duties, or that will breed contempt by familiarity. Let me serve and hear, and that will be my perfection. I should not be agitated that I am being kept by my guru's side as his constant companion. When guru and Krsna want me to go and preach, they will send me out.  A dumb man can speak like a poet.  Do not think I am losing time by hearing and staying by Srila Prabhupada. Take the benefit; become pure by personal association. Be careful in secretarial duties. Be thankful you are protected.

From Caitanya-caritamrta Adi: 10:92:

When Raghunatha dasa Gosvami approached Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu at Jagannatha Puri, the Lord entrusted him to the care of Svarupa Damodara, His secretary. Thus they both engaged in the confidential service of the Lord.

Purport:

This confidential service was the personal care of the Lord. Svarupa Damodara, acting as His secretary, attended to the Lord's baths, meals, rest and massages, and Raghunatha dasa Gosvami assisted him. In effect, Raghunatha dasa Gosvami acted as the assistant secretary of the Lord. [italics added]

April 3^rd 1974

He told Tamal Krishna Goswami that without preaching, ISKCON will become rubbish. Management will be at  our fingers end  if devotees simply follow rules, chant, and take prasadam. Preaching is first. Srila Prabhupada said it is good if presidents and GBC switch around sometimes.

April 4

Devotees asked if they might manufacture incense burners in India. Srila Prabhupada said no, we cannot manage anything, not even washing our cloth, because formerly we gave up all responsibility. We don't know how to be responsible. There are so many American boys and girls hippies America's position is not good.

He then said that he is retired at his age. He cannot manage, but just do some writing.

My main lament is,  Why can't I go out and preach?  Actually, higher than the act of going out to preach on the front lines is doing what the spiritual master desires. If he desires I do his secretarial work, then surrender to that will place me in the blessings of parampara more than anything. That will make the best disciple; that will be my success.

He asked me during the massage if there were some place he could go for six months where he could be alone and where no one wanted to see him. I mentioned Tehran and he was considering it. He then thought of New Vrindaban. He mentioned how Gandhi couldn't even get to sleep at night. People would always be after him, even though he always travelled incognito.

Then before his walk, he went to the room where Tamal Krishna Goswami is recuperating. TKG said he was reading the books all day and not sleeping. Srila Prabhupada said,  Very good.   But I'm not actively serving,  TKG said. Srila Prabhupada said,  This is active. Active doesn't mean jumping like a monkey. Do something substantial.  Then he walked around the asrama and discovered discrepancies found out some cement was missing and remarked that no one is responsible and that is dangerous.

Last night we received an invitation to go to Paris. Srila Prabhupada said he could go. I said,  but earlier today, you asked where you could be alone. This is just the opposite.  He laughed.  That will not be possible for me in this lifetime. Better [I keep travelling and] die on the battlefield. For a warrior it is glorious to die on the battlefield, isn't it?

April 5

Tolerating my rascal mind is one thing, as long as I don't identify it as my real interest. To know more and more personally the person who is my spiritual master is the greatest of benedictions. Certainly one can never know the mind of a pure devotee, and familiarity breeds contempt, yet if handled with control, like fire, this opportunity is the greatest that I could ever dream of. There is no greater advantage attainable than to be the servant of the servant of the Lord, to be literally the menial servant of the servant of the Lord.

April 7

As parivrajakacaryas, sannyasis struggle to find the best preaching program. Krsna awards intelligence as they surrender and stay out on traveling sankirtana, trying always to best utilize time for reaching people for becoming devotees. That is a great taste and one feels he pleases the spiritual master and Krsna while in the field that way. But the main thing is to be attached to the guru's feet. Such preaching makes one attached with firm grip to guru's instruction. It is not the preaching per se, but the preaching attached to guru. The preacher becomes purified telling others about Krsna consciousness, and he becomes more and more enlivened carrying out the guru's orders. And more empowered.

Tamal Krishna Goswami was just pointing out to me that this attachment to guru can also be gained by his personal service and association as servant and secretary. If I ever feel it is not so, I can ask Prabhupada to release me for preaching. As long as I feel strong by tending him, however, writing his letters, writing for Back to Godhead then I am best fixed doing as he has asked even if it is not exactly like preaching. It is a different service, but the essence growing attachment to guru is there. The full opportunity is there for the sincere disciple.

From Krsna book

My dear Lord, You have very kindly asked what You can do for me. In answer to this I simply request that I may not forget Your lotus feet at any time. I do not care where I may be, but I pray that I may be allowed to constantly remember Your lotus feet.

The benediction which the sage Narada asked of the Lord is the ideal prayer of all pure devotees. A pure devotee never asks for any kind of material or spiritual benediction from the Lord, but his only prayer is that he may not forget the lotus feet of the Lord.

Srila Prabhupada heard that Tamal Krishna Goswami was determined to go and preach in the U.S.A.  Yes,  Srila Prabhupada said,  managers we can get by paying them if we have to, but we can't pay someone to preach. He has to be self-realized.

A song in Bengali says the poet wants only to be the dog in the house of a Vaisnava.

If I learn humility from my spiritual master first hand, then I will be a qualified preacher.

I am too much of a rascal to be appreciative. Still he is keeping me and training me in Krsna consciousness, although I am unwilling.

Tamal Krishna Goswami was saying how I was placed highly on the tree of ISKCON, not obscurely, way off. But in comparison to Krsnadasa's description of devotees on the tree of Lord Caitanya, I am a parody of the good qualities of pure devotees.

Satsvarupa dasa Goswami was the personal secretary and servant of His Divine Grace. Within his mind he was always agitated, preoccupied with the sense gratification of acceptance and rejection according to his own desires, and ungrateful for his good fortune. He regarded menial service as an insult and was never satisfied with his service given to him by his spiritual master. He was lazy and prone to sleep, even in the matter of chanting the holy name of the Lord. He had no patience in the will of the Lord or his spiritual master. Thus he was unhappy and unable to resolve himself in devotional service.

Finally I presented this foolish case before my spiritual master, who told me it was a concoction wanting to leave his personal service to go and preach, and being unenthusiastic by such lack of preaching chance. He told me preaching means to be fully engaged in any different capacity in Krsna's service.

As I tried to make a few further objections in his presence and as he strongly countered them, criticizing my whimsical changing of duty, my case seemed ridiculous.  A real preacher preaches everywhere.  His words saved me from my whimsical desires which would only have led away from the real path of bhakti, which is to please Krsna by pleasing the spiritual master. I myself do not know what is best for other living entities or what is best for me; therefore, I require a spiritual master. He holds the mace, he has the right.

From Caitanya-caritamrta Madhya-lila: Chapter 22

The conditioned soul has lusty desires and anger, being used to being kicked by the external energy maya. In this way, he wanders all over the universe until by chance he gets the association of a devotee physician. (Text 14)

The instruction of the spiritual master causes the witch of external energy to go away and the conditioned soul gets in touch with devotional service of Lord Krsna making progress nearer and nearer to the Lord. (Text 15)

The association of a devotee for a duration of eleven times less than a moment cannot be compared to the profit of being elevated to the heavenly planets or being merged into the existence of the Supreme, what to speak of getting material opulence.

(Text 55)

April 8

A devotee wrote that we were being offered donations of land in different places.  Yes, take them,  Srila Prabhupada said.  We can open a centre with just one man, as I did in the beginning.  He can go to the villages as Lord Caitanya wanted, everywhere. One man can go and sit and talk of Krsna and collect locally. He spoke of how the British ruled India with only two hundred top men in India. All the subordinates were Indians. The one man we send, however, has to be without desires for sense gratification.

Tirupati, Balaji

We fly to Tirupati first time Srila Prabhupada has been here to see the famous Venkatesvara temple. Three of us, met by devotees, drive into town. Thousands of pilgrims come here. Walk up a seven-mile mountain to the temple. Big, free lodgings. In the cottage, Srila Prabhupada is pleased by the nice arrangements. Two pictures of the Deity with a handkerchief over His eyes. It is all a mystery to me. Whites are usually not allowed to see the Deity in the temple. We will be allowed. During the massage, the secretary went to assure Srila Prabhupada of darsana. I asked Srila Prabhupada if Lord Caitanya has been here.  Yes, He travelled all over South India.  I asked if Balaji is Krsna in His child form.  Yes, the name means child. Krsna as a cowherd boy.   Not Vaikuntha?   No. What do the rascal scientists know of Vaikuntha or Goloka Vrndavana?  Well, I said, they haven't seen it in a telescope or from a rocket. That is imaginary, defective. So many planets glittering at night. What do they know of other planets? They cannot say such a place is not possible. Rascals. They can't get even a vague idea of only one planet. I said,  They say they are making progress years ago people thought the earth was flat.  Not in the Vedas. They clearly say Goloka is round. Maybe in your Bible they don't know, but the Vedas knew.

Scheduled for Srila Prabhupada, we will see Balaji. Srila Prabhupada is happy in the cottage.

There are always difficulties in material life. A Vaisnava doesn't complain for himself. Dear Lord.

April 30

Counting blessings: among the first principles of bhakti, approaching a spiritual master, taking initiation, carrying out his orders there is  inquiring from the spiritual master.  I have a wonderful opportunity.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada Gita-nagari Press-ISKCON In The 1970s-Krsna is Everywhere January 1^st- August 30^th 1974-Satsvarupa dasa Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

May 2^nd 1974

Bombay

I have been ill. Srila Prabhupada said bile. He recommended sugar cane juice and bitter sukta and Srila Prabhupada said it was due to overwork.

Srila Prabhupada: They are keeping Balaji as a stone statue and collecting. I am the only single person preaching that Krsna is God. No one appreciates or understands, not even my own disciples. There had been some discussion.

Pancadravida Swami was in to see Srila Prabhupada before his breakfast. He told him that our mission is to make a certain section of the population ideal men. We cannot expect everyone. If by this way or that way you can bring one person to Krsna, He is very pleased to have one of His sons return. Hearing him giving his sannyasi disciple impetus like this to go and preach, I felt again the desire to leave my secretarial duties in direct service of Srila Prabhupada and go preaching in the U.S. colleges. I remember how I was doing that before and vowed that if given the chance, I would try harder this time. But I have already brought this up to Prabhupada and he dismissed it as whimsical. I have my present duties assigned to me. I am trying to chant Hare Krsna and pray to Krsna to treat me as He likes for my betterment, as only He knows. To ask for a certain situation in devotional service is my sense gratification that is not bhakti. The Lord knows my heart and knows all things considered, which I do not know what is best. Bhakti is not for my pleasure, but for Krsna's. I have to have more faith in Krsna that everything is all right.

Walking on Juhu Beach, reading from the Krsna Book about Krsna stealing the clothes of the unmarried gopi girls. Srila Prabhupada said they would do whatever Krsna asked. That is love.  You can do whatever You want, still I love You,  Lord Caitanya prayed. Otherwise it becomes a business exchange.

As in my miserable case, my spiritual master has clearly asked me to do one duty, but I am thinking of doing another and still pleasing him.

The best thing is even if one doesn't want to do something, if he is ordered by his spiritual master, he should do it. You cannot say that by following the direct order of the spiritual master it will hinder your spiritual progress. Yasya prasadad bhagavat-prasado. By the mercy of the spiritual master, one gets the mercy of Krsna. Without the blessings of the spiritual master, no one can make any advancement. I may think it is very difficult to be asked to suspend traveling and preaching, but if my spiritual master has asked me to do so, then I must.

May 11

Last night I woke up from a confused nightmare and had the feeling of the extreme danger to be independent of the spiritual master's desire. In a graver mood, I am accepting the service I have been given. Without guru's grace, one's place is unknown. Do not gamble with it. Preaching will come as Krsna desires.

May 16

As attachment can be invoked by the association of pure devotees, so attachment can also be extinguished by offenses commited at the lotus feet of pure devotees. This extinguishing is like the waning of the full moon, which gradually decreases and at last becomes dark. One should therefore be very careful while associating with pure devotees to guard against committing an offense at their lotus feet.

Transcendental attachment, either shadow or para, can be nullified by different degrees of offenses at the lotus feet of pure devotees. If the offense is very serious, then one's attachment becomes almost nil, and if the offense is not very serious, one's attachment can become second class or third class.

Nectar of Devotion:  p. 141

Also from The Nectar of Devotion, Lord Krsna's quality of forbearance:

A person who tolerates all kinds of troubles, even though such troubles appear to be unbearable, is called forbearing.

When Krsna was residing at the place of His spiritual master, He did not mind taking all troubles in rendering service to His guru, although His body was very soft and delicate. It is the duty of the disciple to execute all services unto the spiritual master, despite all kinds of difficulties.

 Nectar of Devotion:   p. 170

May 20

yasya prasadad bhagavat-prasado

yasyaprasadah na gatih kuto 'pi

Srila Prabhupada spoke last night here in Vrndavana and Srila Prabhupada said that bhakti means to please Krsna. Krsna sometimes appears as a warrior. Why? He could demolish millions of universes in a second. He appears as a warrior for His pleasure. Our business is to help Him in His pleasure. If He wants to fight, we should offer Him an arrow. If He is as a warrior, we shouldn't offer Him a glass of milk.

We have to please Krsna, not ourselves or our own idea. Now I am not about to meet Krsna face to face, so I must please His representative who is teaching the order of Krsna  Surrender to Me.  With this scientific understanding I have taken more heart for the day, not to plot how to carry out my desire for service, but to obey the spiritual master. Not resent him for thwarting my desire. Not think him ordinary in my anger and enviousness, or that he is giving me tasks not designed for me.

May 23

Arrival in Rome

People ask what Srila Prabhupada's day is like. Since I have been with him, he rises about 1:30 a.m. I am usually asleep, but around 2:00 or 3:00 I sometimes wake and hear him dictating. Once Dr. Patel said to Srila Prabhupada,  Today I rose at 2:30!  Srila Prabhupada replied,  I rose at 1:30!  Gargamuni Swami said to me,  What sadhu in India gets up at 1:30 to write books?  It is proof of his authenticity.

In Bombay we set up a small house of mosquito netting for him to work in. Now he is working on Caitanya-caritamrta, so he opens the big volume and with a small desk light on, begins translating the synonyms one by one, clicking the dictaphone  hold  button while he pauses briefly for his thoughts. He works occasionally with the small Oxford dictionary for English.

Once when I was sleeping in the room next to him, I went past him at 4 a.m. and he asked,  What is the word for being bound up in chains?   Shackled?  I said.  Yes,  he accepted. Another time he asked,  What is the word for forgiveness?  I said  atonement,  and he accepted. He is confident English will be read by educated people all over the world. Once he heard that a disciple of his in Hyderabad had been arguing with a man about why Srila Prabhupada didn't write in Hindi. The boy said,  I hate Hindi.  Srila Prabhupada said that he shouldn't have said it, but actually, Hindi is of small importance. English he finds accepted everywhere.

The translation work goes on sometimes for two or three hours, sometimes less. Then from around 3 to 5 a.m. he sits and chants on his beads. Srila Prabhupada mostly chants on his beads silently, although the moving beads can sometimes be heard in the next room and sometimes,  Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna.  Then at 5:10 he gets up to go to the bathroom. At that time I go into his room and put out his tilaka and mirror, put away his books and spectacles, and ready things for his morning walk. After the bathroom he puts on tilaka, says gayatri,  and then is ready to go on his morning walk. People often interrupt his schedule at almost any point, but usually no one is up to interrupt his translating except howling dogs, mosquitoes, or electrical failure. His translating is also sometimes interrupted by disturbing thoughts, usually about ISKCON, which make him simply sit at his desk and think and worry instead of translating. For years he has been asking disciples to free him of these management worries.

The morning walk begins just before the sun comes up. In India, Srila Prabhupada says clothing is artificial, it is so warm. In other countries, sometimes he bundles up in big coats and long underwear. He wears only a certain pair of shoes for walks and saves another pair for all other occasions.

In Krsna book it says a devotee is like a waterfall: sometimes he is silent and sometimes speaking. I asked what that means, and he said the devotee speaks at his will. He is not obliged.

Devotees are eager to accompany Prabhupada on his walks. Sometimes he speaks the whole time. He walks long, usually about an hour and a half. I think he walks a total of 2 miles. If it rains, he  walks sitting down  in a car. This morning we walked through the Borghese Park in Rome.  It is a big park,  Srila Prabhupada said,  like Hyde Park in London. It is bigger than Sunset Park in San Francisco.

Today while walking, he suddenly quoted from Brahma-samhita that from Krsna's breathing the universes are spinning out. Srila Prabhupada said the statues in the park were a kind of deification, making ordinary man god.

After the morning walk, we return and he takes breakfast, usually consisting of fruits, ginger pieces, and chickpeas and if the weather is cold, halavah. This morning he asked for upma. Here in Rome he is holding the morning Srimad-Bhagavatam class.

From 9:00 to 11:30 in the morning, Srila Prabhupada usually stays in his room. We try to keep guests out. Because he is still managing affairs, devotees come and discuss, or letters are answered.

At 11:30 he gets massaged for an hour, then takes bath and has lunch. Once during the massage in Bombay he saw that contractors coming to take coconuts were also taking away leaves, disfiguring the trees and exploiting us. He leapt to his feet and called,  Caitya-guru! I can't close my eyes,  Srila Prabhupada said.  No one else sees. You are being cheated.

He takes rest from 2:00 to 4:00 p.m., has coconut water or juice upon waking. In other words, he eats only twice a day except occasionally at night. Guests come at 5:00 or there is an evening lecture. He takes rest between 10:00 11:00 p.m. after having a leg massage.

Srila Prabhupada said he would leave me in one place during the tour because I  cannot even sit up  due to my jaundice case. This alarms me and I'm determined to get well in the four days before we leave Rome. Otherwise, Karandhara will become the secretary. Prabhupada called Bhagavan in and told him to write a book. The world's problems are solved by bhakti-yoga. Every day he is to bring one problem to Prabhupada and Srila Prabhupada will show how it is solved by the Gita.

May 27

Rome

I will no more write this dialogue which is like a dialogue between good and evil. I have resigned myself to follow Sri Guru's desires. Now I pray to find a way to expand my services as secretary. My worshipable Godbrothers have suggested I take on various serious writing projects. At present, I have no such desire. I should try for it while being conscientious about Prabhupada's needs as my duty. Take advantage to preach and give classes whenever possible.

June 7, 1974

Geneva

Srila Prabhupada is allowing me to go to the U.S. to lead a traveling party for distributing books to the colleges and libraries. He says it is very important work. It is all happening so positively! He is very intent on the distribution of his books to the libraries. Having received one report on the activities of one such party, he is always telling his guests about their success in contacting professors, getting their recommendation and placing the books in the libraries. The other night I simply volunteered to go and he accepted it. Since then, I have been patiently waiting while steps are taken to bring my replacement. But today during the massage, Prabhupada affirmed my leaving. He asked if I had been in touch with the book party in the U.S. I said  Yes, but they had stopped.  They said they would start again when I came. I said,  I told them I would be returning.   Yes,  Srila Prabhupada said,  lead and they can assist.  He also asked me to recruit Mohanananda to help.  Convince him that this is very important work, distributing books in the colleges.  And also Hridayananda Goswami, the GBC of South America, can  occasionally come. Travel all over the country and distribute the books to colleges.  Needless to say, this is my heart's desire.

Then he asked if Brahmananda Swami, my replacement, can type. Yes, I said and we began to talk of typists. Srila Prabhupada said Hayagriva was the best. I said Jayadvaita was very good.  He is also a good devotee. He understands the philosophy, and he is very submissive.  He asked me about Karandhara. I said everyone respects him and he will be successful as GBC of India. He was only afraid of getting sick.  No, if he just eats kichari and boiled vegetables and yogurt and no spices, he won't get sick. If he is cautious of his eating. You boys eat too much. Indian food is spicy and you can't digest it.

Srila Prabhupada said now he is translating the atmarama verse and Lord Caitanya is showing that everyone is atmarama and everyone is muni. All can come to Krsna by the grace of a pure devotee. He is explaining the atmarama verse from that line. Srila Prabhupada said,  so when we get to America, you will begin your work?

July 19^th 1974

Los Angeles

By Krsna's grace, I now have everything I yearned for in the past months, as recorded above. I have my own traveling party and an excellent assignment fully approved and blessed by Srila Prabhupada to travel and distribute books to the colleges and libraries. Today I finished an essay about preaching for BTG magazine. I am working in separation from my spiritual master, but I do not feel depressed or sorry about anything. He very kindly and expertly allowed me to transfer to my present engagement. Now I must always pray for the determination to carry on with this present library distribution party in the U.S. because it is a long-term project, as Krsna desires.

July 26

San Francisco

Our party is going nicely. Others are pleased with our work. At the same time, there is the opportunity to expand my service by taking on management of the old Central zone. It is a vacant post so I have volunteered for it. We shall see. In this case, whether or not it is awarded, the alternatives are hopeful. I have to deal with myself as a conditional devotee, although His Divine Grace says service should be without condition. Thus my progress, I admit, is slow.

 

August 20^th 1974

I am moved about like a chess piece on a board Krsna is the player through His various energies. It has been settled that I will not manage the Central zone. For the past month I have been thinking about it a lot and for the past ten days I have actually taken the post under reappointment by Prabhupada through the mail. Now it has worked out that Jagadisa will take back the vacancy which he himself created. Therefore, I am going back to what I have written of elsewhere as the  simple, sublime  travelling library work. It is really suitable for sannyasa life. Travelling constantly with a devoted team of brahmacaris, successfully distributing books in the college libraries, big cities, and preaching in the ISKCON temples along the way. Dear spiritual master, dear Lord Krsna, please let me do it without thinking I should do this or that instead. Let me understand how Krsna is letting me serve free of entanglement in this wonderful library party.

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

There were inevitable clashes of false ego and power politics among the leaders who sought to be  prominent,  although Srila Prabhupada said that that was material. With an astounding ability to manage us all, Prabhupada, however, extracted service from each person and kept us together as a more or less harmonious camp. Everything was for Krsna and for spreading Krsna consciousness to the world.

For our vision we looked to Srila Prabhupada. We all acknowledged that we could not see, but we had full faith that he could see. He was compassionate toward the suffering of the world; he could defeat the nonsense. No one could defeat him. We walked beside him and behind him on the morning walks like little children, yet as soldiers ready to fight the enemy on his word.

*   *   *

28^th November 1974

My Dear Satsvarupa dasa Goswami,

Please accept my blessings. I am in due receipt of your letter dated November 20^th 1974 from New York. I am very glad to hear of the continued success of the Library distribution program. You know it that I also was selling my books in this way to the schools and colleges and libraries. I would write, then publish, and then distribute without any help. So how much pleased I am with you that you are helping me in this mission. So you go on with your work. Krishna will help you. You are sincere in your purpose. This is very important engagement of visiting the professors, and the colleges and libraries, and getting the standing orders. This is the most important engagement. Do not doubt this.

It is also good that you are trying for the teaching course. What do the others know? Yes, simply they have written nonsense books. There in America is very good field..

December 14

Got a letter yesterday from His Divine Grace. Srila Prabhupada said going to see professors and getting the standing orders was  the most important engagement. Do not doubt it.  He also said America is a good preaching field. Now I want to be determined to stay with the wonderful devotees in our library party and travel together all over the country doing colleges. When colleges run out, we will have to think of what to do next. At the GBC meeting in Mayapur, I must not look for any new position, but stay with the library work at the colleges and travel, write, preach, be free.

February 4^th 1975

Yesterday I got another important, inspiring letter from His Divine Grace. Srila Prabhupada said service to Krsna is not stuck up in one particular service (such as book distribution), but depends on sincere service in any of the nine ways of service. Of the nine ways, sravanam kirtanam is very important. Lecturing is also sravanam kirtanam. I will try, therefore, to put together a preaching program, and at the same time, maintain the library program, which is so dear to His Divine Grace.

Also, the inspiring instruction he gave is that one has to render sincere service whatever one can do or offer, that is suitable and best.  It is not inglorious  for one to think his own service is best. All departments of service are absolute, but one must try to do his service perfectly.

BECOME CONVINCED I was recently reading books Srila Prabhupada wrote out in longhand as early as 1955 at the Radha-Damodara temple  Science of Devotion,   Lord Chaitanya, His Sannyasa and Sankirtana  many of which were never published but were forerunners of his later works, The Nectar of Devotion, Teachings of Lord Caitanya. It is inspiring to meditate on my spiritual master writing so extensively in those days when he was all alone with no big ISKCON movement. I would very much like to write following in his footsteps, out of preaching mood and as sannyasa duty for self-purification. He wrote on and on and produced so many works, even then, which are now benefiting thousands of persons all over the world. Srila Prabhupada once wrote me that by always writing, one's language will be sharper when he preaches, and one will always be forced in choosing words to think of Krsna. Topics later used, early versions of books, bases for philosophic themes are constantly developed as he writes.

February 22

Little Rock, Arkansas

Received a letter from His Divine Grace:  Regarding your lecturing in the college classes. This is a very good program also. Why not continue it?  (from Mexico, Feb. 15, 1975). Now we are planning to be in Atlanta to meet His Divine Grace there. I have no specific questions to ask him, but I need purification. I am not only a touring lecturer, but a GBC man responsible for all of the society's affairs. Sometimes I feel aloof from management and sometimes I want to get in on it, almost politically, to put myself in a prominent position. That is going on now with the reorganization of our ISKCON Press and Back to Godhead magazine. My best course seems to be to seek guidance from my Godbrothers and to try to serve wherever most of them think I should serve. My place is here, traveling as a sannyasi, seeing that the library program goes on and my own lecturing program. All this is personal service to my eternal father. Try to read and write not for fame or position, but to become purified and to help others. Don't worry whether it is published.

February 28

Atlanta

Srila Prabhupada is here. He called me in and asked why educated men were taking our books. I told him they took them as one of many schools of Hinduism. He seemed amused and understood their condition. Then Srila Prabhupada said seriously,  Yes, there are many schools (of Hinduism), but only this one teaches love of God. They have no idea of God.  I told him the preachers have to be strong and sometimes they get contaminated when the professors say ours is one of many schools. They have to be strong, Srila Prabhupada said, but again Srila Prabhupada said,  If they say we are a school, it is all right.  I told him we say Ramanuja and they recognize it.

He then said,  Practically the whole world is atheist.  We talked of the street here in Atlanta being Ponce de Leon of the Christian Science Church, etc.

He smiled and Srila Prabhupada said our movement was going nicely. The major difficulty, I said, was within, and he agreed.

Later Srila Prabhupada said even if our effort is teeny, because we have seriously taken up Krsna's business, Krsna will be pleased with us. He will take notice.

I told him I was lecturing in the colleges.

March 1, 1975

Atlanta in car

Srila Prabhupada said the truth is already known, experimenters come and go and the truth stays. Like Gandhi who said,  I don't believe there was ever a living person Krsna.  Gandhi is gone now.

Asked how he can write so many books, professors think many persons must write them.  I have an editorial staff,  Srila Prabhupada said,  but I am also surprised how much I write, what to speak of them [being surprised].

Srila Prabhupada said he is in disciplic succession from Krsna and that is how he can write so many books.

Tripurari asked if we get contaminated by contact with non-devotees.  No,  Srila Prabhupada said,  you are on sankirtana, so you are not infected.  A doctor cannot get infected or how can he give treatment? We have to be cautious,  take precaution.  If we get infected, then preaching can't go on. Tripurari said,  Do you accept our karma on initiation?   Yes,  Srila Prabhupada said. Tripurari added,  and sometimes get sick due to it.   Yes, overloaded.

March 2

Called me, Rupanuga, and Tamal Krishna Goswami in at mangala-arati time. Again he told us to make propaganda against the scientists' theory that life comes from matter. This is a most misleading theory. Actually, life comes from life. People should know the scientists are only artisans; if they fix a light, it doesn't mean they are wiser than a spiritual master. They are claiming so many foolish things. Real research is to find the Supreme Scientist. To find oneself.

March 24

Calcutta

Srila Prabhupada called me. He asked if I was editing.

No.

 No time?

 No, I have time.

Then Srila Prabhupada said,  In the future, anything we publish will be taken as exactly scripture, so there can be no errors in siddhanta,  no wrong conclusion. He gave me a devotee's essay and Srila Prabhupada said he would send me other essays to read carefully for acceptance in BTG.

I then told him that Professor Hopkins wanted him for two weeks next fall. Srila Prabhupada said it would be good prestige to do it, so we're planning it.

He read from the verse jivo jivasya jivanam,  One living entity lives on another.  Srila Prabhupada said in every scripture there is sacrifice for eating flesh. Why should there be starvation? There are so many things to eat. He cited Dhruva, who ate only water and then stopped that.

He asked what the latest scientific theory was. I said,  Origin of Life.  I told him how they wanted to control the human population. Srila Prabhupada said the four divisions of society are already there. I mentioned Frankenstein. He said that was only a story.

March 27

Gaura-Purnima

In the Caitanya-caritamrta Adi-lila: 3, Krsnadasa Kaviraja asserts that Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu is the Supreme Truth. This is stated by Sarvabhauma Bhattacarya, who calls Him purusah purana the controller and original person.

March 28

Lecture notes from Srila Prabhupada's class

Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu is the most merciful incarnation to bestow krsna-prema. There are many incarnations, but His mercy is unlimited and has never been given before.

Keep Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu within your hearts. It will be very easy to understand what is Krsna. Then you'll be perfect. Try to understand Krsna, then your life will become perfect. (Liberated back to home, back to Godhead.) You boys and girls have taken up Krsna so seriously because we are trying to seriously understand Krsna through Lord Caitanya. This much is sufficient; understand that Krsna is the Supreme Personality of Godhead and spread this cult all over the world. People are suffering for want of Krsna. Establish the cult of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu.

Become guru. How? Don't adulterate. Simply repeat the message of Krsna as it is, go through the Six Gosvamis, parampara. Approach Lord Caitanya through the spiritual master; Lord Caitanya to Krsna.

The more you become the servant of the servant, then you are advancing; if you think you have become master, then you are going to hell.

Our mission is to establish Lord Caitanya's desire.

Krsna consciousness is not sentiment, but a great science. If you take it as sentiment, you create disturbance. Those who follow the Vedic literature should be followed, like Rupa Gosvami. Sentiment (spiritual) is good, but know the science. Temporary sentiment will not lead you far.

March 31

Mayapur

Srila Prabhupada is our divine master.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada Gita-nagari Press-ISKCON In The 1970s-Adventures in Preaching  January 1^st- August 30^th 1974-Satsvarupa dasa Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

April 6^th 1975

We GBC men told Srila Prabhupada that the Miami temple was not well-managed. Srila Prabhupada said some GBC should stay there. Then Srila Prabhupada said,  Why should Satsvarupa have to stay there? He has to travel.  (Of course, I intended to travel even as zonal secretary.) Srila Prabhupada said my main engagement is going to the colleges. It was surprising to hear him say this, since previously in our GBC meetings I had been assigned management of seven temples. (It was as if he were speaking on a deeper level, that it was my dharma to travel and preach at colleges.)

Rupanuga explained to him that I was now managing temples and wouldn't be traveling with the library party. I also explained that I was putting a man in charge of the party. Srila Prabhupada said,  Then you can stay in Miami.  It was not that he didn't want me to manage temples or that I had to travel with the library party. A three-man committee was assigned to investigate Miami's mismanagement, and I should also go there as GBC and  plead and flatter  the president so that he rectifies his way. Also, I should see that the grounds are cleaned up. Our principle, Srila Prabhupada said, is not to reject someone, but to work with them.

April 7

Prabhupada's lecture in Mayapur on Advaita Acarya

He is advaita non-different than the Supreme Lord, visnu-tattva; acarya spreading the bhakti cult.

Gosthyanandi one who is spreading; in secluded place is bhajananandi nice, but not acarya.

Acarya means he must spread Krsna consciousness. Increase the number of devotees. Bhajananandi let me do my own business. The more you increase devotees, the more you become recognized by Krsna. An acarya is identical with the Lord.

You can't jump to Krsna without the guru. If we abide by the spiritual master's orders, Krsna becomes pleased. When you are 100% following acarya then you can become acarya. Don't imitate, but follow, and become acarya. If you insult your acarya, then you are finished. Follow strictly, try to do what he says, and spread Krsna consciousness. Simply reveal what Krsna says, then become acarya; it is not difficult repeat (not like a parrot who doesn't understand). Prepare yourself how to repeat Krsna's instructions.

There will be no scarcity of acaryas; it will be easy to fight maya. Acaryas declare war on maya. No sinful activities. No one can understand Krsna without being free from sinful activities.

Killing has so expanded that they are killing their own children. Then as Kali-yuga advances, they will be eating their children like snakes and other animals.

Don't wait for the next life. Be serious. This life I shall finish my Krsna consciousness and as in Bhagavad Gita understand Krsna rightly. If Krsna is explaining what He is, what is the difficulty? He is sending the acarya, and He is within your heart, if only you are serious. Provided you are serious, you can become Krsna conscious.

Jayadvaita dasa and I went in to see Srila Prabhupada. I asked him about the book I am writing. Srila Prabhupada said he had read the synopsis, and if I followed that it was good. Srila Prabhupada said it was all right to quote material authors. Whatever it takes for them to accept our point. I told him about men going to England and Australia from the library party. He liked it,  Very good.  Then Srila Prabhupada said,  about Miami, he let me know that he knows I was assigned to Miami. That was a great comfort that I know he knows exactly what I am doing. He told me to go to Miami and manage. The grounds look like rubbish, Srila Prabhupada said. He told me to keep the property. I then said,  You seemed surprised yesterday that I was not with the library party.  Srila Prabhupada said just do the business. You can give instructions and sometimes travel with them. My position is quite clear with His Divine Grace.

It would be better if I would think less of myself and more of spreading Krsna consciousness to please my spiritual master.

He asked for the title of the book.  A Vedic Reader,  I said.

Good,  Srila Prabhupada said.  You have kept the parampara?

 Yes.

 Yes, yes.

April [?]

Morning walk

I asked,  You say sometimes only a very small percentage of the population can take to Krsna consciousness, but yesterday you said millions can.  Srila Prabhupada said,  It depends, then, on our preaching.  Our preaching has to be pure without sense gratification.  What about tyagis who don't worship Krsna?  Srila Prabhupada said they will go up and come down again. If you had to stay eternally in this field (big expanse of agricultural field in Mayapur under a clear blue sky), would you like it? No, it is not blissful! But in the temple you could stay, Vaikuntha. If you had to stay in this field you would say,  Let me go to Calcutta.

Jayadvaita asked about made-up bhajanas. Srila Prabhupada said it was better to stick to Hare Krsna and Sri Krsna Caitanya. I asked about authorized bhajanas during arati. Srila Prabhupada said jiv' jago was all right, but  better to stick to Hare Krsna.

Then JDB asked,  Sometimes the acarya seems to make mistakes.  Srila Prabhupada said that is our imperfect understanding.  You do not know what perfection is.  The acarya's perfection is his preaching. See how he is preaching (you have a misunderstanding of his perfection).

I asked how his thousands of disciples can reciprocate with him. Srila Prabhupada said,  The spiritual master has representatives,  GBC and presidents. He was asked,  But what about a personal relationship?  Srila Prabhupada said,  Their obedience. If they follow the spiritual master's order.  One boy quoted Vyasa saying to Narada,  Search out the defect in me as you are as good as the all-pervading Supersoul.  Srila Prabhupada said,  Yes, he found the defect in him that he wasn't glorifying Krsna.

I asked,  The Gita says a disciple with a bona fide spiritual master is supposed to know everything. What is ‘everything'?  Srila Prabhupada said it doesn't mean he knows everything the same as Krsna. Whatever the guru knows, to that limit he can also know everything. Guru isn't God that he knows Krsna as Krsna does. If he surrenders to Krsna that  You are everything,  then he knows everything. Krsna is everything.

Srila Prabhupada said the disciple should be chastised. It is good for him. Lord Caitanya saw Himself as a fool before His spiritual master. We should feel like that. He was asked if he were ever chastised by his spiritual master and Srila Prabhupada said yes, and that he found it very valuable.

Later, Paramahamsa Maharaja asked Srila Prabhupada how he knows of the service of some less prominent devotee. He first said it is not Vaisnava to desire to be prominent or known. Why should he want to be prominent?

As Supersoul is in the heart of both disciples and Prabhupada, will Prabhupada not know? But know or not know, one should render service his whole life without being recognized (if it so happens). Anyabhilasita-sunyam.

He also quoted Lord Caitanya's verse,  Even if He makes Me broken-hearted,  and,  I have no desire.  He should simply desire to follow the instructions, and it is inevitable he will be recognized. But we tend to do business, do a little service, and want to be praised by the spiritual master. That is material.

We know from the books what the spiritual master wants, and if we serve him accordingly, we will get all opulences, including fame.

It is a wrong desire to want to be noticed by the spiritual master. The duty of the spiritual master is to chastise. It is inevitable if we serve that not only the spiritual master, but everyone, will take notice. Tripurari dasa simply wanted to distribute books, not become prominent, but now everyone knows him. Krsna also wanted Arjuna to be famous.

A devotee should think he is so insignificant that it is impossible he will ever be recognized. He thinks it is his function to serve and not to become famous.

Srila Prabhupada said he came to U.S.A. not desiring to be famous, but as duty: he now has fame and fortune from Krsna, but he didn't want it.

If we pour water on the root by devotional service, everything will take place.

A devotee should not feel,  I desire credit,  but,  I deserve to be beaten.

April [?]

Morning walk

I asked Srila Prabhupada,  You say we may die at any moment and should surrender, but also that we should be patient. Is there a way to speed it up, or should we just be patient if we don't have much time in which to mature?  Srila Prabhupada said,  don't think you're mature. So you must finish your business at once.  Srila Prabhupada said something about Romaharsana Muni who was so old he would live until all the hairs on his body fell out, and only one fell out each time Brahma died. The Muni was to be given a house, but Srila Prabhupada said it didn't matter, I'm not going to stay here long. I mentioned King Khatvanga, who heard he had only a moment to live. I asked,  When he surrendered, what did he do?  Srila Prabhupada answered,  He surrendered to Krsna.

A man mentioned to Srila Prabhupada that big events seem to happen to His Divine Grace every eleven years:

1922 met his Guru Maharaja

1933 was initiated

1944 started BTG

1955 left home

1966 started ISKCON

The man asked what would happen in 1977. Srila Prabhupada told his servant that maybe that would be the end. Srila Prabhupada said he has finished his mission. We were talking of retirement. Srila Prabhupada said he was thinking of it. He described he would see no one's face. Otherwise, how will he ever complete translating the Srimad-Bhagavatam?

April 19

Vrndavana morning walk

Srila Prabhupada said that the Ramakrishna mission is doubting our movement will last, but even from the mundane point of view, we are distributing so many books and intelligent people are buying. How can it not continue? It will go on. The book distribution is so important (new devotees will come).

I asked,  They think our devotees won't stick?  He brushed this aside:  Even if they do not stay, these devotees, new devotees will come (from book distribution) and we are raising a new generation of devotees in Dallas.

Commenting on how dry and desert-like Vrndavana is, Srila Prabhupada said there is no rain at all, the land is so condemned. The West is all green. India is so sinful that they are condemned. I asked,  The West?   They are not so sinful,  Srila Prabhupada said.  Their tradition is to eat meat. They do not know better. Their offense is not as great. They have no leaders. Even their priests. The Bible says, ‘Thou shalt not kill,' but the priests say that it is our tradition to eat meat.

Srila Prabhupada said when asked a question about Lord Caitanya and the world economic situation at His time of appearance that Lord Caitanya's movement is purely spiritual. It has nothing to do with politics. People are often trying to drag Lord Caitanya down to politics. In India they say we (ISKCON devotees) are CIA. The CIA have become Vaisnavas. The boy said,  But I heard from a devotee.

 From a devotee,  Srila Prabhupada said.  That is very dangerous.

April 20

Vrndavana walk

Srila Prabhupada was saying that the twenty-four-hour kirtana here is nice. Otherwise, there is devil's workshop. Devils can't preach. You have to become divine, otherwise you'll influence everyone to become devil. Yes, Srila Prabhupada said, when asked if some of our larger temples could conduct twenty-four-hour kirtana.  In batches  (shifts of men).

Today the governor of Uttar Pradesh is coming. His Divine Grace wanted to be sure the cooking was excellent for him.  Yes,  a devotee said,  everyone praises the cooking.  We may praise, Srila Prabhupada said, that is among ourselves, mutual admiration. Mr. A. says Mr. B. is nice, and Mr. B. says Mr. A. is nice, but we have to get praise from outside.

April 21

Srila Prabhupada said the temple here has Baladeva. We can pray to Him for strength. One worships Balarama, Nitai and then goes (next altar) to Radha-Krsna. They are very affectionate brothers. You have seen the picture? Krsna is pointing out to Balarama how the flowers are praising Him.

Our policy is  peaceful penetration.  We beg from someone, but actually we are not begging. It all belongs to Krsna. The father is nicely asking his little boy to return his hundred dollar bill. As Vamandeva came begging, we come. He was proprietor, but begged three steps and took everything. We beg and get them to surrender everything to Krsna. We should always be beggars whatever we get we spend and again be engaged in begging. His spiritual master used to take a donation a devotee got intended for a certain thing and give it to something else, and then tell the man to go out again.

Tamal Krishna Goswami asked if when Krsna says the most dear is he who preaches to devotees, it includes innocent non-devotees. No, Srila Prabhupada said, teaching of the Gita is for devotees. Srila Prabhupada said in the beginning he created a spiritual atmosphere for non-devotees by chanting to induce them to become devotees, but the message.

An Indian life member said that Hindi should be required of ISKCON devotees in India. Srila Prabhupada said they can't learn anything, neither doll-making nor khole-making or Hindi:  Therefore I have advocated you don't have to learn something new, just whatever you have give to Krsna.  Mr. Mahadevia said that fear was needed to make devotees learn. He said their teacher should not feed them for three days and then if they want to eat, they will have to talk Hindi.  Then you come and be their Hindi teacher,  offered Srila Prabhupada. Mr. Mahadevia said he couldn't and was thus exposed, and the devotees laughed. Then Srila Prabhupada said,  I will not feed you until you become the teacher.  In this way he taught we must show by example, not simply precept.

The GBC presented him with a resolution that he should retire and write. First Srila Prabhupada said,  That I will decide by my own will. That you have passed a resolution means I have to go?  Then we explained that our desire was to help him to write more.

Srila Prabhupada said he would write more when we publish the books he has already written (some seventeen volumes).

Srila Prabhupada said that was the only thing keeping him from dictating two tapes a day. He looked toward me and Srila Prabhupada said,  You remember in New York? I was supplying two tapes a day.  Then later Srila Prabhupada said again,  You remember, I was lecturing twice daily. When the master sleeps, the servants sleep. You are behind, so I am falling behind. I will write when you catch up. Otherwise, so many things happen and I think of them. If you publish these books, then I will again supply you two tapes daily.

Srila Prabhupada: surrender to Me (Krsna)  is not for the non-devotee. He will not want to surrender. Feasting, chanting and prasadam.  I said we can teach him,  I'm not this body.  Srila Prabhupada said this is also for the devotee. We create devotees by the spiritual atmosphere. Book distribution is also chanting. Because they have paid they read:  What is this that this rascal has sold me?  Like that. (I have paid so much money,  so they read.)

April 23

Regarding keeping accounts, Srila Prabhupada said it had to be done not privately as one devotee suggested. A simple account of receipts expenditure. Don't keep money in the bank. Spend it. Collect and spend it. Enter it as  book collection  and spend it. Books should be bought by temples with thirty days credit, no more no lengthy unpaid bills. Whatever they order but don't sell in thirty days, that also they should pay for in thirty days.

He indicated we should not form so many committees for discussion, but should know we have so much to do. We have so much work to do. We should not waste any time (on unimportant meetings or talks). We have to work hard. Whether it is managing the temples, preaching, studying, chanting, seeing to finances, or printing and distributing books so much important work.

April 25

Morning walk

Talking of cheaters: Why do people want to be cheated? Because they are already cheated and want to counterattack by being cheated in a different way. Because they have no information (it's not taught in any school) of the soul and the next life. Chewing the chewed. Sex at home, but then sex on stage in the night club a different pattern of sex. Then they are cheated in next life, given the bodies of monkeys for sex. Maya cheats them. A grhastha couple has a child and the wife suffers so much and it is such a burden, but rather than not have another child, they immediately try for another pregnancy.

Q: Is grhastha life ever recommended?

A: If one cannot avoid it, he can live with one wife.

Q: What does  can't avoid it  mean?

A: It is the force of material nature and one can't resist it. But if one can develop strong Krsna consciousness, then he will spit at the thought of sex.

April 26

Morning walk

Srila Prabhupada turned to an Indian pandita on the walk and asked him what he thought Gandhi contributed. The man was favourable and said Gandhi sacrificed his life for the whole universe. Prabhupada exposed him. Where does it say that in the Gita? He couldn't say, but said,  Gandhi said.  Prabhupada asked how anyone can satisfy everyone? Gandhi himself was killed by a countryman. It is a mad proposal. Can you water every leaf on a tree? No, water the root. We serve Krsna and are His servants. I never said,  Follow me, I am God. I am servant of God. Krsna says this, I say follow Krsna.  Gandhi didn't believe. Now India is all godless. They couldn't follow his prohibition on liquor because he was imperfect. Could only follow him for a time. He said Tagore was his guru. Do you know R. Tagore?

Devotee: Yes, he was a great poet.

Prabhupada: Poet means young girls. He used to have mela with boys and girls dancing and he too would join and take prasadam from the young girls. I know, I am a Calcutta man. (Later, a donkey was braying and he said this is the mundane poet. The ass thinks he is reciting nice poetry. We should try to appreciate the poetry of Srimad-Bhagavatam.)

Devotee: We had an English class and Indian students were coming and reading Krsna book, but we stopped because none became devotees.

Prabhupada: No, that is a miscalculation. If they are reading Krsna book, they are devotees, maybe in a lower class. We cannot expect a big seed to at once sprout to a big tree. Have enthusiasm and patience. Fan the spark into a big flame. Don't reject the beginners. If we can't train up new men, we are not good preachers. I fanned, I didn't demand. Later, if they shave their heads that is different. In the beginning, if they read, they are devotees.

April 27

Morning walk

Prabhupada asked one sannyasi to argue with him that there are oceans of milk and liquor as stated in the Bhagavatam. Pancadravida Swami said the Bhagavatam is myth. Srila Prabhupada replied,  To us your science is myth.  Pancadravida Swami said,  But the findings of material science can be verified by many persons, whereas self-realized findings rest on the authority of a few. Srila Prabhupada said,  Do we have to believe something just because many asses say so?

The ocean of liquor is manufactured by the same Personality who manufactures the saltwater ocean. Vibhuti-bhinnam people on those planets are able to be sustained by liquor in the ocean without going mad as we would.

I said the Americans and Europeans are leaving Vrndavana now and are eager to return to preaching. His face expressed approval,  Yes, preaching and book distribution is our business.  There was discussion of leaving Vrndavana. Prabhupada said,  You have learned how to keep Vrndavana in your heart.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada Gita-nagari Press-ISKCON In The 1970s-Adventures in Preaching  January 1^s - August 30^th 1974-Satsvarupa dasa Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

Sometimes Prabhupada used to say that he could have stayed at home and loved Krsna, but because he saw people were suffering, he travelled; travelling meant to expose himself to many challenges. People may think that Prabhupada speaks too strongly, but if you get a glimpse of some of the challenges that Prabhupada faced, you realize that he had to be strong. It was his opponents who resented that Prabhupada was so strong, whereas those who wanted to remain in Krsna consciousness aspired to be led by Prabhupada's argumentation.

We pray to always be thankful to Prabhupada for pushing us in those days. According to the Bhagavad Gita, whatever little assistance we offer to the Vaisnava is to our eternal credit.

When Prabhupada visited Dallas and spoke to us in the garden behind the temple, I remember a special moment which is only partly indicated here. Devotees were reading aloud to Prabhupada from the Krsna book, a prayer by Lord Siva who declared that Lord Krsna is the creator of the material elements.  So,  Srila Prabhupada asked,  if we do not accept that Krsna made the sky, then who made it?  My diary adds,  There were no answers.  There were no answers, but at that moment, many of us who were seated at Prabhupada's feet looked up at the big Texan sky, and because of Prabhupada's presence, we saw Krsna as the creator. It was a very simple but profound moment of shared God consciousness. By not answering Prabhupada's challenge as to who had made the sky, and by humbly accepting what he had said, we were able to see.

*   *   *

June 24^th 1975

Los Angeles

Srila Prabhupada was being challenged by two long-haired former devotees. (This is not a full report, but just some notes to help me remember.)

He told them that since they wore long hair and did not follow the principles, they shouldn't listen to criticism being made against them by the devotees.

For business they have to wear long hair, they said. Srila Prabhupada said, yes, one can be Krsna conscious and wear long hair, but he can't be my disciple. My disciples don't wear long hair. (Send a letter to all centres to that effect.) Later he told them that their business was to do business and enjoy. Don't become Krsna conscious is my advice, Srila Prabhupada said.

They criticized devotees for damning them. Srila Prabhupada said his disciples are neophytes and since these men don't appear as devotees, the neophytes regard them as non-devotees. Wearing Vaisnava dress is the general rule. Lord Caitanya wouldn't see a disciple if he wasn't wearing tilaka.

Prabhupada kept saying,  what can I do to their demands that he tell disciples they are not demons?

They then asked how to understand that Ugrasena had four billion bodyguards. Srila Prabhupada said it was possible. Then Srila Prabhupada said he couldn't answer it; that is my fault, Srila Prabhupada said, I admit it. I am what I am.

Then they tried saying,  How can you preach Krsna consciousness if you're limited?  Srila Prabhupada said,  That we will take care of it. It is not your concern.   How can you preach to the educated class?  Same not your concern, we are doing it. You don't believe? Then do not bother about it. We should take it we are wrong if we cannot understand sastra. Whatever I know is in my books; I do not know more than this. My disciples speak only on my books.

Srila Prabhupada said that we do not ask why, there is no why. We accept. They said,  How will you convince the world except for a few people?  That is not your business, Srila Prabhupada said, since you are not my disciples, not following, not shaven.

They said that some devotees told them they would go to hell if they were not Prabhupada's devotees. No, Srila Prabhupada said, one could be Krsna conscious and not his disciple; but his disciples don't wear long hair. Srila Prabhupada said they may be very advanced and not need a spiritual master. The general rule is only by the mercy of the guru can one get Krsna's mercy, but that is the general rule.  You are so advanced, you don't need one.

 Are you being sarcastic?

 No.

 But you took a spiritual master.

 I am not so advanced.  Then he would answer no more.

They:  Why?

SP:  You are not following strictly, you cannot ask why.

June 28

Denver morning walk

We are walking in this nice park, but padam padam at any moment there can be revolution. It can all be fire. They do not know. They are dull. Although Krsna gives a plain example, baby becomes boy.  Is there any example of a baby remaining permanently a baby? Therefore, our only hope is to distribute books so that someday the people will understand that they are not this body. That day will come when these books will be appreciated as valuable.

About Denver centre, we said they were distributing books. Yes, wherever you can distribute books is a good place.

Make vigorous propaganda against fake gurus. Guru Maharaji says he's God, so you say publicly,  I kick on your face if you are God. Then punish me with your mantra, your will, or whatever.

He called me in while he was taking breakfast. Asked further about Maharishi's university. How can they teach regular subjects with TM since TM isn't a science? Meditation is, of course, spiritual, but not as he does it, with sense gratification. What use is teaching ordinary subjects? Then Srila Prabhupada said we could do it we have so many books. I suggested Gainesville, where we wanted to start our own university to teach only Vedic subjects. He seemed to like it.

One Mayavadi sannyasi came. Prabhupada quoted so much Gita. Samah sarvesu yes, but it means the same Supersoul is in each heart.

Krsna cleans the heart of the devotee, whereas yogis try to clean their own hearts. You can imagine which is better. Tesam satatam yuktanam. Krsna sees,  Here is a devotee,  and He helps.

June 29

Walk notes

Escapism. We are not escaping just because we do not work like the hog. If a hog eats stool and we don't, are we escaping? A rich man does not work, that is intelligent. There are different classes of work. If a clerk accuses a judge, the clerk would not have a job.

Question: What if everyone became a devotee like us, what would happen to the economy?

Srila Prabhupada:  He does not have to worry; there will always be a class like him.  If everyone becomes honest,  What will happen to the prisons?  is their logic.  What will happen to the slaughterhouses and brothels?

Let them work hard like asses and we will use it. They have worked so hard and only we are enjoying the park. A mouse works to build his hole in the ground and the snake comes, eats the mouse, and lives there. Or a jackal who was sinking in water in a well induced a stag to jump in (I am dancing). Then he jumped on his head and got out. We will use it.

They say we are parasites.  No, we are not taking from God. Each man can work his land and have cows. Why work hard like an ass? We live nicely in Krsna consciousness. Why not join us? But they won't. They will work like asses.

Non-devotees say humans have the best sex.

Srila Prabhupada:  Is food better in a gold pot than in a copper pot? It is the same.

June 30

Lecture notes

A sadhu has to preach. Therefore, he tolerates so much criticism. He has to fight with them. Jesus titiksava karunika he was merciful. Jesus said,  My Lord, they do not know what they are doing. They can't kill me, but they think they can and are committing offense.  Christ  Thou shalt not kill  be kind to everyone. We adore and offer our obeisances to Christ.

Our library party had met a professor who had heard criticism of Prabhupada by an Indian swami who claimed that genuine sadhus and Vaisnavas don't try to preach to others. I reported this to Srila Prabhupada. His preaching was a failure and now he criticizes Srila Prabhupada and ISKCON.

One point he made was that Vaisnavas don't preach. Srila Prabhupada turned to the Gita verse in the 18th chapter where Krsna says there will never be a dearer servant. Also, Lord Caitanya said,  Become guru and whomever you meet, tell them of Krsna,  and,  In every town and village My names should  be known.  All acaryas preached Sankara, Buddha, Lord Caitanya, etc. Parivrajakacarya pari means moving. He travels and preaches. Because he has failed at preaching, he is making a  sour grapes  charge against preaching.

Re academic understanding vs. preaching to convert: when Krsna says sarva-dharman parityajya, does He mean surrender really, or is it just for academic understanding? He means surrender.

He claimed he was in seclusion in a cave. An ant is also in seclusion. My Guru Maharaja said it is cheating to stay in seclusion. Go door to door.

He (the Indian swami) doesn't stress chanting, but Lord Caitanya was chanting everywhere, and thus he was charged by Prakasananda to be sentimental.

This Indian swami likes to talk of the confidential part of the philosophy as if he is more advanced, but is he more advanced than Krsna and Lord Caitanya? Krsna never spoke of Radharani in Gita. When Lord Caitanya met with the Kazi, He talked of cow-killing, not Radharani. Even with Rupa and Sanatana, He only touched on Radharani; but He discussed it with Ramananda.

Srila Prabhupada: If you don't know the Absolute Truth, then accept mine.

Q: But you may cheat.

Srila Prabhupada: But all isn't counterfeit. If one is giving out gold and you refuse, you can't have it. Tell them, if you don't know the Absolute Truth, accept this you have to you can't refute. I can prove it, or if you don't agree, then you present the Absolute Truth better than this. We don't say simply that Krsna is the Absolute Truth, but what is Absolute Truth? That is Krsna, Lord of two energies. You describe it better.

Q: You say God is great, but how?

SP: Is Guru Maharaji great? No, Krsna is.

Q: But He is legend.

A: You believe that. We don't. We accept (Krsna). There are imitations, but Krsna is real. They are blind. All over, they are chanting Hare Krsna on my instruction. If they don't feel transcendental pleasure, how could they do it?

You what is your understanding of the Absolute Truth? You can't live like us (elevated). You don't know the Absolute Truth.

There is Absolute Truth. Srimad-Bhagavatam describes that little animals praise the big animal, but that doesn't mean he's not an animal. A jackal fell in dye. The other animals accepted him as a new animal, representative of God, but then he howled and they knew he was a jackal.

(I know I have accepted Srila Prabhupada after being convinced by reason and logic he knows God better than anyone.)

He says he never cares to go to the class of mental speculators who say there are many different ways of claiming the Absolute Truth and who don't take any position.

I said,  Whatever you say of the Absolute Truth represents a Vedic tradition.

He: What is your tradition, nonsense?

I: None. I just view them all.

He: You are a mental speculator.

I know I have accepted Srila Prabhupada based on the best presentation of God and God consciousness. Now I have to preach it.

 If someone doesn't know the Absolute Truth, then he should accept ours. How can he refuse it?

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada Gita-nagari Press-ISKCON In The 1970s-Dear Lord, Please Give Me the Strength to Serve You January 1^s-August 30^th 1974-Satsvarupa dasa Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

July 13

St. Louis

On considering one grhastha's request for sannyasa, Srila Prabhupada said that in our preaching, we should not do our activities with any sense gratification, but with full responsibility. That I certainly haven't realized. I am meditating on a preaching program to suit my own needs, one that will bring me the most blissful, philosophic, spiritual, renounced consciousness. That's all right, but it will come automatically out of the tapasya of hard work for my spiritual master. I have to cease being selfish and considering my activities of preaching, writing, and studying in terms of my self-satisfaction. I have to act for the pleasure of my spiritual master and to help guide ISKCON.

July 21

Houston notes for giving class

The most typical sannyasis, such as Narada and Lord Caitanya, would travel alone and experience all varieties of God's creation, gaining  faith in God and strength of mind  and preaching to whomever they met. (Yare dekha tare kaha krsna upadesa). Prabhupada writes that sannyasa is now forbidden for ordinary men, and this indicates that if one does take sannyasa, it is more important in this age that he hear and chant the holy names, even if sitting in one place.

The sannyasis created by Prabhupada in ISKCON have been given duties to  travel and preach.  That is the essence of the vocational call of sannyasa in ISKCON. It is attractive to brahmacaris and grhasthas to aspire to this, but it must be without the sense gratification of simply touring or avoiding duties and becoming celebrated sannyasis. Emphasis is on renunciation, not the change of dress and taking of the danda. Srila Prabhupada said recently,  Don't come to me, ‘Give me paramahamsa, give me sannyasa.' It is not like that. It is a stage of life.  Falsely, one tries to gain worship for himself as a saintly, renounced person. For ISKCON, Srila Prabhupada has recently emphasized that sannyasis other than the spiritual master should be offered obeisances only once when seeing them in the morning. Also, one does not take anyone's remnants except his spiritual master's. A sannyasi does not leave any remnants.

We should not simply be cultish about being a sannyasi and, like some babaji, sit around being renounced of fancy food and cloth. In Caitanya-caritamrta, Madhya-lila, Lord Caitanya stresses,  The real purpose of sannyasa is to dedicate oneself to Mukunda. By serving Mukunda one can actually be liberated (3.8). This  real purpose  is distinguished from the appearance of formality or the change of dress from householder to renounced mendicant with danda. For us in ISKCON, it means preaching, taking leadership by example of projects for spreading Krsna consciousness.

Those interested in serving a sannyasi should help him in a protective way to fulfill his vows of renunciation and preaching. They should help him expand his preaching opportunity, not offer him temptations of material life, and not put him in a situation contrary to his vows of renunciation, of womanly association. The sannyasi should not take advantage of the faithful householders by eating and sleeping on their good graces. Srila Prabhupada:  You can preach or slough off.   Always think of expanding your service.

July 24

Los Angeles

Prabhupada made us admit, looking out at the ocean, that we accept that Japan is there on faith. I asked,  Why do they accept their authorities and not ours?  Srila Prabhupada said,  Because they are duskrtina, non-devotees, their intelligence is stolen away.

Jayadvaita said that scientists say we invent God. He replied that only the devotee can know Krsna. He reciprocates as they approach Him.

When told of the scientists' aim to conquer outer space, he remarked that big, big horses were in a raging river drowning, but a third-class horse thought,  Let me enter.  I said,  Scientists can point to progress.  Srila Prabhupada said,  There is no progress if you cannot stop death. All great sages went to the forest to conquer death.

July 28

Dallas

At the airport a reporter asked Srila Prabhupada why he had come. Srila Prabhupada said,  This is my home. I have so many children here. I have come to see them. 

She asked his opinion about ISKCON Dallas's lawsuit for getting permission to sell literature. Srila Prabhupada said this literature is important. He had read, Srila Prabhupada said, in Time, that the U.S. is concerned about crime; this literature will solve the problem of crime if people will take to it. She asked him about India now with Indira Gandhi. Srila Prabhupada said he had nothing to do with politics, but anything political, economical, philosophical, etc. without Krsna consciousness is all zero. Krsna consciousness puts the one before the zeros, turning them into thousands, millions. He said he thought Indira Gandhi might be inclined to spirituality, and if so, then her rule could be hopeful, but otherwise not. Srila Prabhupada said her being against democracy is unpopular, but actually democracy is not so good. Even in the U.S. we know that sometimes a man is elected and then pulled down. That means you have made a mistake. In Vedic civilization, the kings used to rule (for everyone's benefit). Even recently, Gandhi had so much power he was practically the dictator, but the people appreciated. If Gandhi could rule with autocratic powers, that is all right, but it must be done with spiritual knowledge.

In the garden

He found it cooling in the garden we read from Krsna book about the Sivajvara and Narayanajvara. The cold of Narayanajvara defeated the heat. In Lord Siva's prayer, he describes that the Lord is the creator of the material elements, etc. Srila Prabhupada asked,  If we do not accept that Krsna made the sky, then who made it?  There were no answers. Srila Prabhupada said in the Gita verse, bhumir apo 'nalo vayuh, it states that Krsna made the sky. We should study like this. Aham sarvasya prabhavo that the sky is the greatest material thing, but He created it. In this way, study Krsna. Not just with the gopis. The more you understand Krsna, the more you will become His staunch followers. They unauthorized persons never paint Krsna creating the sky. They take Him as support for their own lusty activities.

Gurukula teachers' darsana

Srila Prabhupada explained that the teacher should teach the student to be self-controlled for the guru's benefit, not for his personal benefit. You are working and I am not paying. Why? Out of your love. My spiritual master is my best friend and I must render service to him. On this basis, it is not possible to do this service for $1,000 a month. Love, no payment. When one is fixed up to Krsna and His pure devotee, everything is then revealed. Basic principles. Brahmacaris are especially under the guru's protection. There is no question of how much he has learned ABCs. Live in the gurukula and practice sense control. Live here for the guru's benefit, whatever he orders.

Question: Should we be strict?

Srila Prabhupada: It is all on the basis of love. Strict is not very good. They should do it automatically out of love. Superficially, some stricture is not a good idea. On the platform of love. Stricture, there are so many laws. Do or you'll be punished. They will develop the idea of love.

Jagadisa: Forcing out of love.

Srila Prabhupada: The basic principle should be love. That force is not material. The son is forced by the father, but that is for the son's benefit. That chastisement is also out of love. Children are innocent. As you teach them they will love.

Force, teaching, but all on the basis of love. But it requires experience.

Rules and regs, rising early, etc., will teach him automatically. Hare Krsna mantra, offering oblations, Deity, then automatically.

Sit down and chant Hare Krsna  get them to chant like that. Behave yourself strictly and they will follow.

You be a personal example. If you don't practice, but force them, that's not good. If you are too lenient, there will be many faults. If you discipline them, that's good. Don't be lenient. Not out of  love  see our disciples go to hell. That is foolishness. From five to fifteen they should be kept under strict disciplinary order; if they don't follow they should be chastised. After that time don't force them. When they are grown up, fifteen, they should be treated as friends.

Especially concentrate on congregational chanting and individual chanting.

Gurukula means the students are educated as good citizens, devotees, and know the value of life. In other schools they remain cats and dogs. They are not educated, but they learn to become polished dog.

August 2^nd 1975

Detroit talk

Srila Prabhupada told how seventy years ago there was a  comic book  by a famous author in Bengal, India, about women going to work and men staying home. Women met and one said,  We have taken over equally in all affairs except we still have to bear children.  One woman from East Bengal stood and said,  We are the first in everything. We shall be the first ones to have men bear pregnancy!  All applauded this.

He is keen for an institute with a library of all our philosophy books. Any scholar may come and study and then argue with us, and we shall demonstrate how Krsna consciousness is superior. This is the gift of Jiva Gosvami, that he presented philosophy in defiance of all others.

We don't say,  I'm okay, you're okay.  If a gentleman comes, we behave nicely, but if he speaks nonsense, then we cannot tolerate. We are gentlemen, but here is milk. If he says it is not milk, we cannot tolerate.

The six other Indian philosophies are all atheistic. Those such as Kanada can't explain the ultimate cause. Some charge that Gita or Krsna is not in the four Vedas. But do you know the four Vedas? In Jiva Gosvami and Ramanuja's writings, each line is backed up with the Vedas and Upanisads. Great acaryas of theistic line have accepted Krsna.

The U.S. is the only hope of the world. Countries are becoming Communist all land taken over by the state. In India we own land as an institution, but if they take it away, it will all be gone. But in your country, the preaching is best.

Srila Prabhupada said one can argue as an impersonalist or representative of any other philosopher. Sartre was mentioned. Srila Prabhupada said life is absurd, it has no cause.  No cause? You had no father, mother?  Srila Prabhupada challenged. Life is absurd for him, not for us.

We said Brahman has no qualities. It is beyond the senses. Srila Prabhupada said,  Then you cannot talk of Him.  Great acaryas and the sastras repeat what God says. If God speaks, you say He cannot speak? Who are you? Why do I have to accept you that God has no qualities? You do not know who God is, but we are perfect, we know. If God speaks, then we can know.

August 3

Srila Prabhupada said while reading aloud from Caitanya-caritamrta that GBC members should become siksa-gurus. (That means we can become, we should become, not that we can declare,  We are siksa-gurus now.  It is no joke.)

He had me read sloka after sloka of Caitanya-caritamrta Adi-lila: 1. Srila Prabhupada said just by hearing the sloka, it is beneficial. We should read like this. Then we read verses, purports. Srila Prabhupada said hold classes like this. Just whatever is written. If you hear, Krsna will help you to understand.

Talk

We have a car, but we're going to the temple and distributing books with it. Anything can be used for Krsna. Here is a rich man's son (Ford). We are giving him a little spiritual teaching, but he is happy.

No divorce. Can't separate half of the body.

A big mansion is available here, but it's in a high crime area. Srila Prabhupada said get it. We will chant Hare Krsna there twenty-four hours, and if a thief comes we will say,  Yes, first take prasadam and then take what you want. What do we have?  Srila Prabhupada said he doesn't care about the bad neighbourhood. Make the ruffians devotees. Have the owner give us the building for five years. I lived on the Bowery, Srila Prabhupada said, and he described how bums were urinating at the front door and lying on the street, but when he came out they would quickly get up and let him pass, saying,  Yes, sir, come on, sir.  He would say,  That's all right.  They never bothered me, Srila Prabhupada said. One uptown Jewish friend of his was horrified to hear he was going to the Bowery.

August 7

Class notes

The only prayer to make to Krsna is,  Dear Lord, please give me the strength to serve You.  Any other prayer, you'll never be happy.

First, quality association is required. There must be a center where one can get the chance for first-class association. Devotees must be responsible, so anyone who comes into this association will become a devotee.

Don't study Krsna superficially.

Even if he is just talking to a few of us minutes before his massage, Srila Prabhupada's preaching is always profound.

When he first saw this country with all its roads and cars, he couldn't take it seriously. Srila Prabhupada said that they have no purpose in life other than to build their roads and cars and have sex life.

They think at death it will all be finished. Actually, they will forget this life and (in a sense) it will all be finished. An astrologer said Nehru took birth as a dog. It is controversial: if it is not so, all right, but if it is true, then what is this prime ministership?

Those who keep dogs will become dogs. You cannot avoid nature's law and say it won't happen.

How do the atheists account for all the species of life? They say the environment produces them. But if you say the environment, why are there still so many species? They cannot explain. (They cannot explain and they have no purpose, nothing to do but build roads and die.)

Prabhupada is completely convinced of Krsna. Therefore, to associate with him is the greatest assurance for a devotee. There is no question that he cannot effectively answer. He can give the solution to any anxiety or lamentation because when he says,  Chant Hare Krsna,  one is able to accept it:  Yes, if I simply chant the holy names I will be saved.  Prabhupada can say, can do, whatever is needed to rescue a fallen, bewildered soul. He has the cure-all medicine. He is kind, but never materially sympathetic Krsna's love and exactly how to dispense it and apply it are in his control.

We have just to follow him. Hare Krsna Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna Hare Hare/ Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare.

It's working; judge by the result. My unwillingness is tamo-guna, the ignorant mode of laziness, lack of determination, sleep. His order is  new life,   full of strength.  Praying for strength:  Dear Lord Balarama, please give me the strength to serve. There is discrepancy in me. Let me deal humbly, ever ready to execute orders with all dedication of mind, speech, and body.

August 8

Prabhupada, my father, my guru absorbed in the Absolute Truth, Krsna, and how to spread Krsna consciousness, a philosophy for all humanity.  No sane man will object.  Now he has gone to India to meet with the Prime Minister.  I am concerned about the management of my society.  As one of his  ten thousand assistants,  I have a particular duty to see that his books are being distributed to the scholarly class.  There are 75,000 libraries,  Srila Prabhupada said again.

Someone wrote and asked,  The Bhagavad Gita speaks of reincarnation. Why can't we remember our past lives? 

Why can't we remember our past lives? Because we forget them. Why do we forget? Because we are tiny, conditioned beings. We are every day experiencing forgetfulness; it is itself one of the symptoms that we are limited. We forget from one day to the next and we forget from one life to another, one body after another. Lord Krsna pointed this out to his disciple, Arjuna, in the Bhagavad Gita:  Many, many births both you and I have passed. I can remember all of them but you cannot.  That is the difference between God and man: He never forgets, we do. Krsna had just stated that He first spoke the Gita to the sun-god millions of years ago, and Arjuna then inquired,  But how could You have spoken millions of years ago since You are my contemporary?  Krsna instructed Arjuna that we are all eternal beings Arjuna was also present in another identity millions of years ago, but he cannot be expected to remember it since he is not as good as God.

That tiny, forgetful living being is, however, as complete in his eternality as God. Krsna states in the second chapter of the Gita,  Never was there a time when I did not exist, nor you, nor all these kings; nor in the future shall any of us cease to be.  Because we are only fragmented parts of the Supreme Being, however, we do not possess the same quantity of omnipotence as He does.