srila prabhupada said...!!! 31
chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)
When Srila Prabhupada arose, I was not attending to him as usual, because I had caught a cold. Immediately, when he did not see me, he called for me.
"I was never neglectful about my duty in any field of activity. Even in business. Dr Bose loved me very much. He was giving me blank check to sign for forty thousand rupees. I was never lazy or neglectful in duty. I do it honestly and try to make it perfect. Only I was neglectful when I was involved with my young wife. Then, I neglected my studies. That was due to circumstances. Then I neglected my wife. My father said I was fortunate not to like my family. Krsna saved me through so many circumstances. This material life is checkered. From the very beginning of my life, I was a devotee of Krsna. Illicit sex I was thinking horrible-what people will say?"
"Bhrgu-samhita speaks of past, present and future. My horoscope was, after seventy, I would go open temples. The limitation was eighty years. So if I live through this, it is the special influence of Krsna. An extension. Dr Chandrik Bose used to publish a paper in which a very famous astrologer would write. Dr Bose's son was in Germany, so Dr Bose asked the astrologer to fix a date of return to India for his son. The astrologer, Sundar Mohan Bhattacharya, a rigid brahmana, said, 'Your son will not return. He has to go to a hill station.' The next letter came from the son, and he said, 'I am attacked, spinal tuberculosis, and am going to Switzerland.' There was such a qualified caste of brahmanas. Nanda Maharaja used to call them, and he was sure if such a brahmana blessed my son, he will be all right.' Now everyone is sudra. It is Caitanya Mahaprabhu's mercy, ceto darpana marjanam. No qualification; let them chant. Therefore, Rupa Goswami has said, 'Namo maha-vadanyaya, krsna-prema-pradaya te.' Instead of making a brahmana, he is bestowed with Krsna prema. In the beginning there is no use of so many rituals. One will not be able to follow them. Just Hare Krsna. Then automatically the other things will follow."
While Srouti Maharaja was waiting to see Prabhupada, he criticized one Santo Domingan devotee, Karuna-maya, saying that he was not making any advancement even though he had joined three years ago. (Karuna-maya is a very sincere devotee, and on one day, he distributed over two hundred Bhagavad Gitas.) When Srila Prabhupada heard of this criticism, Srila Prabhupada said, "He is a rascal. They come to criticize. A bumblebee goes after the honey, and a fly searches where is sore." Some tears were in the corner of Prabhupada's eyes. It pained him that his Godbrothers did not appreciate all his endeavours. They are his spiritual family members; but they are envious, and this is naturally painful. After this incident, Srila Prabhupada said it would be better if the brahmacari Sukhananda did not come again. This is natural spiritual pride. I pointed out that Narayana Maharaja and the brahmacari had great appreciation for Srila Prabhupada. I didn't want Prabhupada to sacrifice his treatments on account of Srouti Maharaja, who happened to be staying with Narayana Maharaja.
Prabhupada declared, "I ask Krsna to give me enthusiasm to continue unto death. A soldier should die fighting on the battlefield."
Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days-June 17th-Tamala Krsna Goswami