srila prabhupada said...!!!

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

This morning, Gopala Krsna called.  Our Mayapur temple had been attacked by three hundred dacoits.  Five devotees were wounded and were in the hospital.  Bhavananda Maharaja shot two persons and was arrested. Jayapataka, away at the time, returned afterwards.  Satadhanya Maharaja had to return immediately, along with Prabhasa, in whose name the gun was registered.  After Prabhupada heard the news, we considered that it must have been due to the Communists who now control the West Bengal government.  Srila Prabhupada said, "Lenin and Stalin were both gundas.  They killed the Czars; only a few men, not the mass of people.  Just a party of gundas.  And who elected those gundas?  No one!  Now in Russia, they have admitted it is a failure.  The only real solution is Krsna-varnasrama-dharma."

After lunch, Satadhanya Maharaja left, but not before we read a newspaper clipping from the Hindustan Times of Delhi, which gave a different report: Some cowmen had let their cows wander into our temple grounds.  We had beaten the cows, angering their owners.  When villagers came later at 5:00 p.m. (Gopala Krsna had said it was during the night), they were fired upon and fifteen persons were injured, two seriously.  Bhavananda Maharaja was mentioned.  At the end of the article, it was said that the founder of the temple, Srila Prabhupada, was not present.

In the afternoon after translating, Prabhupada called me and Srila Prabhupada said, "I am afraid of a big conspiracy.  Cowmen means the Ghoshs, and they are gundas. And the Gaudiya Math.  The last line of the article, that the founder-acarya was not present.  They were sorry.  They would have arrested me and put me in jail.  By Krsna's grace, I was not there.  The phone call said it was at night, but at night there are no cows."

"There is a Bengali proverb: 'When reading, read with another; when touring, at least four persons; but when you eat, eat alone.'"

I asked Srila Prabhupada whether I could massage him.  He replied, "I always like massaging.  But I feel ashamed to always ask to be massaged.  Otherwise, I like it all the time."

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days-July 10^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

Today, Vrindaban Chandra departed for Calcutta.  Srila Prabhupada had us prepare tasty prasadam for his train ride, as well as extra prasadam for the other family members.  He was driven to the train station and given a warm farewell.

This afternoon, Prabhavananda Prabhu, the Bengali devotee in charge of Haridaspur, arrived in Vrndavana.  He came into the presence of His Divine Grace and offered dandavats from a distance, then reported on Mayapur.  He had been bathing in the Ganges at Mayapur when he received news of the fight.  When he returned to Chandrodaya Mandir, the police would not allow him entrance.  He learned quite a different story than the newspaper presented.  One of our cows had wandered onto a Muhammadan villager's land.  The villager beat the cow and held it.  The devotees brought the cow, along with the villager, to our asrama.  How the villager was treated was not clear, but soon a huge gang of over three hundred villagers stormed the front gates of the temple property.  There ensued a serious clash between the devotees and the villagers.  The villagers began to ascend the staircase, looking for their fellow villager and Bhavananda Maharaja.  At that point, our devotees opened fire with a shotgun.

In the evening after massage, Srila Prabhupada said, "For protection of my life, I must use a gun.  How I can see people coming for my life and I shall stand there?  It is the just action [using the gun].  They have done right.  They broke the gate and wanted to attack violently.  I must shoot.  Don't be worried about Mayapur.  We have done right.  If injustice is awarded [by the court], that is another thing; but we have done right.  I was thinking not to expand anymore, but that is not right.  We must execute the program we have already made."  I added that we should not be defeated.  "Defeat?  It is not a question of defeat.  It is a matter of principle and preaching."

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days-July 11^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

12^th

Today, Prabhupada called for the Ayurvedic doctor who had given him medicine years ago, Sri Bonamali Das. The pulse was very fast: 118.  He prescribed a diet of milk only for a full week, along with some medicines.

13^th-

As part of the kaviraja's treatment, Srila Prabhupada was completely covered with ashes.  Coming into his bedroom, I thought there was a Saivite from the Kumbha-mela lying on the massage mat.  But it was Srila Prabhupada.  After the ashes were rubbed off, no bath was allowed.  In the afternoon, Srila Prabhupada felt very disturbed.  He only drank milk as the kaviraja prescribed; but he could neither rest nor translate because of not getting his normal oil massage and bath.  In the evening, therefore, he took an oil massage and bath and thus got relief.  During the night, he again could not translate because of taking cough syrup.

Speaking about the Mayapur incident, Srila Prabhupada said, "All those non-devotees who attacked us should be killed.  I am seeking that power.  Cow protection is our life.  Krsna has ordered, 'krsi-go-raksya.'  Cow protection at any cost.  It is Krsna's order.  We have to execute it.  Any government allowing slaughterhouses should be removed, but we are not so powerful.  There is a Bengali proverb: 'There is an earthworm.  While digging the earth, it was found that inside the hole was a big snake.  Any intelligent person can understand this is Communist propaganda.  Now the American consulate is involved and has gone to Mayapur.  And the central government has been involved.  The central government is seeking the opportunity to drive away the Communists.  If they find a snake behind the earthworm, they will drive them away.  There is no case; simply the Communist government wants to drive away the Americans.  This is the plan.  And the central government is anxious to keep good relations with the Americans.  It was all planned-that the Muslims take our grass, that they catch our cow.  Krsna became prominent by killing Putana as baby.  So these are opportunities for making our movement prominent."

Today, Prabhavananda Prabhu attended Prabhupada.  He will assist Upendra for a week and then become Ramakrsna Prabhu's assistant for further training.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days-July 12^th-July 13^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

14^th

Prabhupada talked with Bhakti-Caru and me about medicines.  He doesn't want to discontinue the use of his Lassix tablet, which undoubtedly has been working to help the passing of urine and thus reduce the swelling.  He wants to try the kaviraja's medicine, but not undergo the ash treatment.  The kaviraja returns today.  Now that he has eliminated the kaviraja's ash treatment, Prabhupada will take only milk and Ayurvedic medicines.  The swelling is the least it has been in months.

Prabhupada received photos of the Deities made by Bharadvaja's men for the Krsna-Kaliya temple in Fiji.  They are excellent!  Prabhupada also received a package of book reviews and other items from Gargamuni Swami and gave all blessings to the highly successful method by which he is organizing library distribution.

15^th

Last night, Srila Prabhupada translated more than at any other time since I became his secretary.

When he came down to sit in the garden, it was raining; therefore, he sat on the porch.  He called for me and began to speak.  "What benefits humans can get from this modern civilization?  In India, the caste system was very good.  A child would learn the technology of his father.  Like a potter.  The son of a potter would make little cups, little plates, little toys and sell to other children.  The whole family would earn.  Now they are sent to school.  And then unemployment.  What does a potter need school for?  People were satisfied with the simple necessities.  They would not charge unnecessarily for labor.  They required very little to live.  Now, time is being wasted without the purpose of life being accomplished.  And when we teach the real purpose, they say, 'brainwash.'  The Communists and others, they try to check us.  In the varnasrama system, everyone was taken care of.

"The lower class men would worship the demigods.  They knew there is someone greater than 'me.'  The blacksmiths would worship Visvakarma.  On one day, they clean all their tools and offer flowers and puja.  Brahmanas would come and do the puja.  Even a butcher would worship goddess Kali and then apply the knife.  In this way, they would recognize a higher authority.  A spice merchant would worship Ganesa.  A gold merchant would worship Laksmi-Narayana.  A student would worship Sarasvati.  Some sort of worship was there.  But actually learning the Vedic knowledge was done by the brahmanas and they would give advice to others.  Just like Gargamuni came to Nanda Maharaja.  Now the big civilization [is simply interested in] how to make sex life and then kill babies.  Concentration on sex.  Become a hippie and worship hogs.  Hippies are nothing but a group of madmen. "

Today, Gauri dasa Prabhu left with Srila Prabhupada's approval.  His visa had expired, and he was going to serve Radha and Damodara in New Varsana.  Srila Prabhupada was very grateful for the many months of service he personally rendered: "I am very pleased with you.  You have served so nicely.  Very sincerely.  See this Indian government.  I have taken so much time to train you and now you have to leave.  Be happy."  Gauri dasa, who was simply the servant of the servants of Prabhupada, was thus blessed.

Prabhupada, in the role of a chemist, had us mix equal amounts of calcium chloride, China clay, and chalk.  This produced the pure ingredient of the kaviraja's prescribed cow dung ash, which itself consists of only sixty percent calcium chloride.  The mixture was rubbed all over Prabhupada's body three times a day.  It was the same base, without the fragrance, used in body powder by ladies and by dramatic artists.  It was cooling in the summer.  After it was applied, Prabhupada commented, "Like Lord Siva."

Today, a letter from Gopala Krsna came, relating all the facts of the Mayapur incident.  About fifty men were stealing our crops.  When Nitai-canda tried to stop them, they cut his head in three places.  Later, while Nitai-canda was being treated in our infirmary, they beat him again and stripped one of our ladies naked.  While the fifty Muslims were stealing our crops, 250 Muslims, hiding in the bushes, attacked the temple, breaking the gates, cutting the phone and electric wires, and destroying the water pumps.  In order to scare them, a shot was fired; but as they did not disperse, another shot was fired, injuring eleven Muslims slightly.  Meanwhile, they fractured both of Hiranyagarbha's hands.  The police finally arrived after two hours.  They recommended we go to Krishnanagar police station to file a complaint.  When our devotees reached the station, they were arrested.  The two seriously injured devotees were denied outside medical treatment.

"The Muslims are not so bad, but the local government is trying to create Hindu-Muslim strife.  They are seeing practically we are going village to village and people are accepting.  The Americans are going village to village and the people want it.  That was my idea from the beginning.  It is the plan of the Government to drive away the American Hare Krsna men.  They want that all Bengal be completely godless."

I suggested that now our village preaching might be hurt.  Srila Prabhupada replied, "No, it will be to our favour very soon.  I think the central government will take action."  In the paper, it was reported that the Chief Minister of Bengal, in his report to the home minister in Delhi, was asking for an investigation why some of the American devotees, who had been asked to leave India, were now back with new passports and visas.  "You say to someone, I am going to catch you as a thief and you say I am not stealing.  That means you are a thief.  Similarly, the chief minister completely avoids the issue and asks for investigation of visas.  This indicates he's guilty of bias."  I asked if Prabhupada thought an investigation by the centre could bring down the state government.  Srila Prabhupada said, "Yes! This is the same as Kamsa against Krsna.  Krsna must win.  No one can defeat Krsna.  If I had been there, they would have charged that I ordered the shooting and arrested me.  Now I am an old man.  I cannot take an active stand, so you all must do everything carefully."

"The gunda class doesn't like Caitanya Mahaprabhu.  This is in Bengal and Orissa.  Ramakrishna also did not like.  They say Caitanya Mahaprabhu made people emasculated.  They say since Maharaja Prataparudra met Caitanya Mahaprabhu, he lost his strength.  This view is held by the Orissan government.  They say, 'We don't want na dhanam, na janam, etc.' What is the question of compromising with such persons?  In your country also-illicit sex-why not?  Brainwash.  It is very difficult to push on this movement.  Still it is going on.  That is Krsna's mercy.  Haridasa Thakura was approached by a young woman in the dead of night, offering her body, but he did not want.  Who will understand this?  They say brainwashed.  The general idea is how can a young man live without a young woman?  And Caitanya Mahaprabhu says, 'Oh, you are after young woman; oh, it is more dangerous than drinking poison.'  Who will accept this?  Madhudvisa Maharaja was victimized by women.  He knew, 'My career in this institution is finished.'  He was so much ashamed.  Several times I called him, but he wouldn't come.  He knows, 'Who will take me seriously!'  Here, even a man who is fallen has this consciousness.  Therefore, he sent back his danda.  The benefit of Krsna consciousness is that when a person is fallen, he knows, 'I am fallen,' so there is chance of purification.  Anyway, those who have sacrificed their life for Krsna, Krsna will give them protection.  Our Mayapur men . . .."  At this point, Srila Prabhupada became choked with emotion and began to cry.  "Haridasa Thakura, they also put him in jail.  He was beaten.  Prahlada Maharaja-when Nrsimhadeva appeared, Hiranyakasipu was finished."  Prabhupada was crying to think how the devotees were undergoing so much for Krsna. "Don't be worried.  We are doing our best as far as our intelligence goes.  Caitanya Mahaprabhu wanted that in every nook and corner of the world this movement should be pushed.  We are limited.  Still, so many books are being distributed." At this time I wanted to ease Prabhupada's heartfelt feelings, so I told him about the latest report of Ghanasyama Prabhu.  I said, "Krsna always arranges that after we receive one kind of report, another kind comes."  Prabhupada smiled and Srila Prabhupada said, "That is dynamic.  It is not static.  Before the rain, there is thundering."  Prabhupada made a thundering roar.  "Like electricity current, back and forth."  Seeing a pure devotee exhibit different emotions was a wonderful lesson.

This evening, Prabhupada translated until 8:00 p.m.  Then he called me in as he often did and Srila Prabhupada said, "I have translated so many points.  I am translating about Krsna.  Krsna also shifted places because of the demons.  When Krsna was taken by Putana on her breast, she found a sleeping snake.  The Communist party will also find a sleeping snake."

"I want the Americans to take Krsna consciousness; and in every country, if you are not Krsna conscious, change them."

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days-July 14^th-July 15^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

16^th

Prabhupada did not translate very much at night.  This was as I had thought would happen.  The previous evening, Prabhupada had preached very strongly and at length to Visvambhara.  "In Vrndavana, nearly all the Vaisnavas are kanistha-adhikari, all third-class.  They make some money by showing Deities.  They do not know what is pure devotional service." After Visvambhara left, Srila Prabhupada said,  "Bhagatji [Visvambhara], I want to correct him by some good association [the best!].  But he is giving service.  Service will qualify one.  It is most important.  As you noticed, you sit and remind me not to talk.  Now, I shall not talk except to important persons."

18^th

"The Communists are thinking to drive us away from our asrama and to make their headquarters there.  Their policy is to take over the wealthy person's property." News had come in the Statesman that a district court had stayed the bail granted the previous day by a sub divisional magistrate's court for our devotees who have been in jail since July 8. The stay order had been requested by the state government. "Now it is clear that the local government wants to stamp us out.  They are biased.  This is cause to approach the High Court.  Depend on Krsna; He is protecting us."

A devotee wrote, asking about the kirtanas of Krsnadasa Babaji of Mayapur.  Srila Prabhupada said, "He is bona fide.  But why imitate anyone.  Sing in your own way, and Krsna will accept the feeling and the tune."

Today, Prabhavananda Prabhu took sannyasa and was given the name Bhakti Prabhava Swami.  He is an excellent devotee, offering obeisances repeatedly to others.  He also massages and cooks well.  For twenty years, he has been a Gaudiya Vaisnava.  Although many of the Godbrothers of Prabhupada had offered him sannyasa, he had refused.  Now he had come to Vrndavana with the idea that, if Prabhupada offered him sannyasa, he would accept.

A report came from Mayapur from Jayapataka Maharaja.  The story we understood up to this point was confirmed.  But his report described further developments.  Apart from the Muslims from Mayapur village, who alone participated in the attack, and the Communist government, the Hindus en masse were outraged at what happened.  They were widely distributing petitions in our support.  The Ghoshs (who, Srila Prabhupada said, were the eternal enemies of the Muhammadans) were ready to riot and would have annihilated the entire Muhammadan village, had they not been stopped by Jayapataka.  Though the newspapers were presenting only one side, gradually the facts were beginning to become known.  Various investigations showed that the Muhammadan version of the incident was full of holes.  It was realized now that, had we not fired the guns, many devotees would have been killed by the Muhammadans.

One vivid account was given of how Bhavananda Maharaja and the other ten devotees who were arrested were marched through the streets of Navadvipa in chains on their way to court.  They chanted Hare Krsna, and the residents of Navadvipa all offered obeisances with respect.  In jail, they were chanting Hare Krsna throughout the day.

It was reported that Surendranatha dasa of Caitanya Math was involved with the attack.  On hearing this news, His Divine Grace became very grave and repeatedly rubbed his hand across his forehead.  The report was on the whole very optimistic, giving evidence that Krsna was working behind the scenes.  The prasadam distribution continued to go on in Mayapur; and book distribution in Bengal continued to increase, with preaching parties continuing to be well received.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days-July 16^th-July 18^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

This morning, the swelling was the least I have seen.  Last night, Srila Prabhupada called me into his room and handed me the one ring that previously could not be removed from his finger.  Now that the swelling had diminished, he smiled very much.  I asked Prabhupada whether the improvement was due to the Lassix tablet or the calcium chloride (lime) powder.  Srila Prabhupada said it was the powder.  "When I was a young boy of fifteen, there was a beriberi epidemic in Calcutta.  Everyone was affected; swelling was especially in the legs.  My mother rubbed this same powder on my legs at night to reduce the swelling."  I asked whether his mother was also stricken with beriberi, and Srila Prabhupada said yes; but she continued all of her duties.

The kaviraja, who came again today, said he was treating Prabhupada very slowly with only mild medicines, like those for an eight-year-old child.  "An old man and a child are alike," Prabhupada explained.  "Strict Ayurvedic medicine follows the Vedic principles.  There is no concoction.  First they feel the heartbeat.  Then they conclude which element is strong.  Then they go to the Vedas.  If the pulse beat is like this, these are the symptoms.  Then they go to the patient: 'Are you feeling like this?'  The patient confirms.  Then they go back to the Vedas: 'Give this medicine!'  The patient takes the medicine and gets better.  There is no question of research.  Tradition from Dhanvantari."

Abhirama Prabhu arrived and reported to Srila Prabhupada about Mayapur.  We learned nothing new from his report.  Srila Prabhupada inquired why Abhirama had come.  I explained that he had decided to take up business and was considering which city to work in, perhaps Bangalore or Bombay.  He didn't think it was safe to leave his family alone at their Mayapur house; neither had he gotten much encouragement in his work there.  Prabhupada asked what would be done with his house.

After His Divine Grace retired at night, he called for me.  He was lying in bed under his mosquito net, thinking about Abhirama: "Our grhastha devotees, unless they remain in connection to attend our temple functions, if they remain aloof from the temple community, gradually the karmi poison will make them lost.  You cannot expect them to be like Bhaktivinoda Thakura or myself.  They are neophytes.  Unless these things are continued, the karmi poison will spoil.  They can live independently, but they must be connected to devotional service.  Just like Abhirama constructed a house; there is no harm.  Now, if he goes away after so much training, it is a great loss to our Society.  Just like Syamasundara.  The whole idea is to give up attachment to the material world and to become attached to Krsna.  Now, according to one's position, gradually param drstva nivartate.  The karmis' association is very contaminating-asat-sanga.  There is chance.  Best if he takes a room in Bombay and does business as a grhastha.  He should not be dependent on the Society and at the same time not independent.  The Society cannot take charge of one's family.  So many will come; how it is possible?  At the same time, if they remain independent, the karmis' poison will affect.  Krsna-conscious, ideal grhastha-that, we want.  Just like Bhaktivinoda Thakura.  I was a grhastha.  Deity worship, everything was there.  I was publishing Back to Godhead from grhastha asrama.  The aim was there.  I could not live in family life due to circumstances.  That was a different thing.  One must live in the temple or near the temple.  If a brahmacari makes love [after getting married] and lives at the cost of Society, that is to be discouraged.

"But if they have a business, just like Abhirama...he is very good.  I don't want him to be lost.  He constructed that house in the campus; it doesn't matter.  Let him remain a little separately.  For business, Bombay is best city in the world.  Many poor men go there and become rich.  Bombay is so important, if you want to get a place, you have to pay one lakh of rupees.  Just to stand in Bombay, you have to pay.  My fear is that after training our men so much, if he is lost, it's a great loss.  Future of our Society will be hopeless.  But if someone can't maintain his family, why he should get married?  If he has no power of maintaining, why he should marry?"

I asked what if they said, "I am a pujari, the temple should maintain my family."

"There are brahmacari pujaris," Prabhupada replied.  "He is not the only pujari.  The temple is for brahmacaris, sannyasis, vanaprasthas-for renounced life. After all you have to adjust everything.  I am giving guidelines.  The G.B.C. should consider.  The pujaris who are making a living from puja-gradually their puja goes to hell.  They maintain their family simply by showing the Deity, like some of the Vrndavana Gosvamis.  Jiva Gosvami was a brahmacari, but he gave to grhasthas the puja of Radha- ramana.  But what is the position now?  Gopala Bhatta was also a brahmacari.  Everything depends on training."

"Madhavendra Puri gave a Govardhana Deity to the Vallabhacaryas," I mentioned.

"Vallabhacaryas are maintaining their temple."

"But they are not preaching," I said.

"Deity worship is preaching.

"Alexander the Great could not maintain his empire.  Suppose I conquer Bombay and go to conquer Karachi, but in the meantime Bombay is lost.  That was Alexander the Great.  The British Empire, also.  They could not manage everything.  Too much expansion.  I am stressing therefore book selling, not opening temples.  Now I have given my program; you G.B.C. tackle it.  At least, don't make me Alexander the Great in my lifetime.  People have recognized I am great.  Don't make me small.  I'll not give you much trouble.  But now, I'm invalid.  What can I do?"

I said, "Prabhupada, it is your mercy to allow us to serve you."

"Thank you.  What can I do?  I have to give you that opportunity.  I cannot do without it."

Earlier in the day, Prabhupada had said, "Family life is never happy.  Real family life is most miserable.  Otherwise, why they are killing children?  They can't get apartments with children."

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days-July 19^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

This morning, Srila Prabhupada arose; and looking at his hands and legs one by one while still lying down, Srila Prabhupada said, "It is reducing so much; soon I will be only bones."

Today, Srila Prabhupada received a copy of the first published German translation of The Nectar of Devotion from Harikesa Swami.  The accompanying report from the German BBT showed publishing work proceeding in thirteen languages, with huge quantities of books to be printed over the next few months.  The Nectar of Devotion was outstanding, better than the English version.  Srila Prabhupada was very pleased.  Srila Prabhupada said, "You are the most important grandson of Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati."

Another letter came from a leading industrialist, Sri Ramkrishna Bajaj, on behalf of the Gita Pratisthana, inviting Srila Prabhupada to be present at the all-India Gita conference proposed to be held at our Vrndavana temple.  Srila Prabhupada had to say frankly, "What is the use of my attending, if all the assembled persons don't take my advice?"  The fact is that, if they all follow Srila Prabhupada, then the so-called "great followers" of Gita, such as Gandhi, will be minimized.

In the evening, Prabhupada initiated a very lively discussion about prasadam, sparked by a letter received earlier in the day from Berkeley about their successful prasadam cart.  "For the prasadam carts, a nice preparation: powdered dry coconut, molasses, and powdered rice.  Soak the rice in water, and then smash it in mortar with pestle.  Then make it into dough and fry it in balls.  Also malpura.

"In Ahmadabad, Jagannatha Swami is offered puri, pakoras, and malpura.  In Gujarat, these preparations are very popular.  Every province has its special preparations.  Jura is for Baroda.  In Rajasthan, kachori, samosa, jalebi, seo and mucharie (flour and ghee mixed with salt and masala).  South India: iddli, wada, dosa.  Jagannatha prasadam: rice, urad dal and curry.  You cannot have such taste anywhere in the world.  The real point is, every living entity is food for another.  How many species we have passed through-8,400,000.  In Africa, there is a man-eater tree.  You go and touch it and you cannot get out and you die.  The mango is such a fruit that, from unripe to fully ripened, it is useful."

"The Barendra brahmanas are a very cunning community.  It is said that if one Barendra brahmana is going on the way and there are many thorns, he won't say to the fellow behind him about the thorns.  Lahoris, Sanyalis, etc.  They are of that community." We had been talking about an overseer named Lahori, who cheated us in the Vrndavana construction.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days-July 20^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

21^st

Today, Bhakti Caitanya Maharaja brought Mr. Gupta and his wife, who promised to give much money and land.  So many big things were said about Mr. Gupta; how influential he was and how much he was going to help us.  He is said to have been the biggest financial supporter of the Janata party during their successful election campaign.  Prabhupada preached to him very nicely; then he rushed off, back to Delhi.

Afterwards, Bhakti Caitanya Swami asked Prabhupada that Tejiyas be brought back to Delhi for collecting.  Prabhupada told him to concentrate on getting the permanent residency visas and inviting Morarji Desai and Cabinet members to the opening ceremony of the gurukula.

22^nd

This morning, I told Prabhupada that tomorrow Lord Jagannatha would travel down Fifth Avenue in New York City.  Srila Prabhupada said, "Lord Jagannatha is very kind to the mlecchas.  Oriyans are mostly mlecchas, but still they are made pujaris.  One devotee criticized an Oriyan.  Lord Jagannatha slapped him.  'Why you criticize My servants?'  Just see His kindness!  I pray to Krsna that anyone who has given even a little service, please bless him.  And Krsna actually does.  He doesn't forget any service done."

"Doesn't Radharani also pray like that to Krsna?" I asked.

"Yes, Radharani says, 'I am not sincere; here is Your real servant.'  That is mahabhava.  Krsna becomes subservient to His servant.  Therefore, a disciple's first duty is to be submissive to his guru."

"Srila Prabhupada, all your devotees are so very grateful to you," I said.

Prabhupada was feeling very much ecstasy and love.  His eyes were closed, he was moving his head, and his voice was choked with tears of loving concern of his disciples.  "Oh, your intense love for me.  I am living for you.  All over the world, everything is going on.  Money is coming and being spent, and I don't have to worry.  I am so much indebted, taking so much service."

I confessed, "We are so indebted, there is no way we can ever pay this debt to you, Srila Prabhupada."

"That is the brhad-mrdanga.  I am beating from this room, and the sound goes ten thousand miles away.  Our enemies are surprised, 'How this man is going on?'  No one criticizes Lord Jagannatha.  Up to date, I have never heard anyone say, 'What kind of God do you have?'  Everyone takes pleasure seeing Him, dancing and chanting."

Prabhupada remembered the 1969 Ratha-yatra, in which Upendra and others danced joyously around a tree.  Then he began to remember so many past wonderful experiences in ISKCON.

Prabhupada told Abhirama Prabhu to become the assistant to the secretary.  Abhirama went to Mayapur to get his wife and belongings.  He will then join Prabhupada's party.

Letters came today from Giriraja and Nava-yogendra Maharaja, both written with very much feeling.  Giriraja, though writing on business matters, filled the letter with sincere devotion, written very expertly.

Nava-yogendra Maharaja's letter was so sincere, it was very difficult for one to read it without becoming choked up.  He was feeling so much separation from Prabhupada since he left his engagement as servant, that he was unable to forget Prabhupada.  The letter was so intensely personal, there was no way I could reply to the letter as Prabhupada's secretary.  His love for Prabhupada could be responded to only by Prabhupada, who said, "I will answer this letter."

One Bombay gentleman, Mr. P. M. Rungta, offered his land in Vrndavana.  It is on Bhaktivedanta Swami Marg, just diagonally opposite our temple.  It would be ideal for a go-sala and for cultivation.  We will see how this develops.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days-July 21^st-July 22^nd-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

23^rd

"In Teheran, from everyone's house you can hear the sound of goats crying.  There is a story.  A goat went to Brahma and said, 'You made our body in such a way that everyone eats us: men, animals, even demigods.  Can you not make us a favour (to protect us)?'  Brahma said, 'Yes, I will make you a favour: Better you go away, or I will also eat you.'"

"Krsna has fulfilled all my desires, even more, though I am not worth it.  Krsna is so kind."

In the evening Srila Prabhupada was visited for darsana by Sri Hitsaran Sharma, an old friend of his and secretary to Jaidayal Dalmia.

24^th

Gaurasundara dasa and his new wife came from Hawaii to visit Srila Prabhupada.  Srila Prabhupada, with tears in his eyes, asked, "Where is Govinda dasi?"  Gaurasundara and his former wife, Govinda dasi, were Prabhupada's first secretaries in 1967.  They established ISKCON in Hawaii.  Both have had difficulties and had fallen away, but each was again engaged in devotional service.  Gaurasundara has a house with small Deities, and some other devotees also live there.  He said he was thinking to install large marble Radha-Krsna Deities, but Srila Prabhupada said, "There is no need of big Deities.  You are maintaining a private temple, so make everything very nice; but there is no need of big Deities.  Small Krsna on the lap of mother Yasoda is the same Krsna.  Better to increase the devotion and classes, etc.  That is the main business.  If you simply worship the Deity and don't preach, then you remain prakrta, material.  Can you remain for some time in Vrndavana?"

It was clear that Srila Prabhupada would like to make Gaurasundara strong by giving his association.  Actually, the next day we let Gaurasundara fan Prabhupada in the morning.  "Govinda dasi is not willing to live with you?"  Gaurasundara said he had heard that she was married again.  This news pained Srila Prabhupada, as he would have liked to see them together.  Pointing to Gaurasundara's new wife, Srila Prabhupada said, "She is helping you?" The situation was a little awkward.  Then Srila Prabhupada said, "Deity worship is most important.  In your house, everyone is following rules and regulations?  No intoxication?  The real intoxicant is Krsna."

In the evening, Prem Chand Gupta came with other Janasangh party men for darsana.  He had helped us to arrange the first Delhi pandal.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days-July 21^st-July 23^rd-July 24^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

Suffering from many mosquito bites, I went into the washroom where I felt I had been bitten, and foolishly killed many mosquitoes.  My conscience then told me that perhaps I had done wrong.  I went and inquired from Srila Prabhupada.

"You should not kill them.  They are poor creatures.  It is better to prevent them from biting by using a net."

"But in the washroom, how can I use a net?"

"It is better still not to kill them.  But after they bite you, you can kill them."

"Is there karma for doing this?"

"When you are a devotee engaged in Krsna's karma, then it may be excused," Prabhupada replied.  "That is why you must be a devotee" Srila Prabhupada said.

Feeling very bad afterwards, I chanted the Hare Krsna mantra, for it is said that one who chants Hare Krsna is freed from all sins, even the killing of a superior.  I then watered and circumambulated Srimati Tulasi devi, for it is said that by so doing, one may be freed from all sins, even the killing of a brahmana.  I vow that I shall not intentionally kill any such helpless living entities again, simply for my own sake.

Prabhupada has discontinued his oil massage and bathing for the past few days, in accordance with the recommendation of the kaviraja.  He simply gets massaged with the powder; and in the morning, I give him a short "bird bath."

Gaurachand Goswami came and asked for help in repairing a wall at the Sri Radha-Damodara Mandir.  Srila Prabhupada told me to arrange for him to be given some bricks from our construction site.  After he left, Prabhupada specified second-class bricks, not first-class.

Abhirama Prabhu returned with his wife from Mayapur.  He reported that the devotees were still in jail.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days-July 25^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami