srila prabhupada said...!!!

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

1^st

Prabhupada had to sign a number of letters to the bank.  Though I approved them, he wanted Giriraja's consent also.  He was showing us that we must do all business jointly, not singularly.  One of the letters was to Indian Overseas Bank, establishing five fixed deposits for his former family, giving them lifelong stipends.

By 9:30 a.m., we took Prabhupada downstairs.  Hundreds of local devotees were waiting as the elevator descended.  They were all crying as they saw Srila Prabhupada, perhaps for the last time.

The train journey went fairly smoothly.  It took Srila Prabhupada a little time to become adjusted to the moving of the train.  The afternoon heat, as we passed through Northern Gujarat, was also uncomfortable; but by night, Prabhupada was more comfortable.  At one point along the journey, one chai-walla was told by Brahmananda Swami to be quiet.  Prabhupada asked, "They are drinking tea?"  Brahmananda carried Prabhupada in his arms, into and out of the train.

2^nd

The train arrived at the Mathura station just on time at 7:30 a.m.  At the temple all the devotees greeted Srila Prabhupada.  Prabhupada went directly to his sitting room, where a big new bed had been set up.  He lay with his eyes closed for a long time, then Srila Prabhupada said, "Thank you."  His elder disciples surrounded his bed.

A very long silence ensued, broken only once when Prabhupada quoted the prayer of King Kulasekhara, "Krsna tvadiya-pada-pankaja-panjarantam," to Lord Krsna:  "My dear Krsna, please let me die immediately so that the swan of my mind may be encircled by the stem of Your lotus feet.  Otherwise, at the time of my final breath, when my throat is choked up, how will it be possible for me to think of You?"

Prabhupada was thinking of going to see Krsna-Balarama at 9:30, his usual time; but I requested he rest today and begin the program tomorrow.  He kindly submitted to my proposal, saying, "Whatever you advise for me, I will do."  Later, he agreed that we could call the kaviraja tomorrow.  Srila Prabhupada said, "Now manage everything.  Let me think of Krsna-Balarama.  Guru-krpa Maharaja should stay in Vrndavana."  I mentioned that Guru-krpa also liked to go out and collect for Krsna-Balarama.  Srila Prabhupada said that was also nice.

Pranava's wife prepared mung water and spinach water, of which Prabhupada drank a little.  He called for Bhagatji, then asked him to supply fresh milk.  Bhagatji said they would keep a cow ready, and whenever Srila Prabhupada wanted milk, they would milk the cow.

Prabhupada asked me to read the verse 2:4:12 of the Srimad-Bhagavatam, about how the fallen races could be purified by taking shelter of the devotees of the Lord.  He then had me read the previous prayers of Sri Sukadeva Gosvami.  Brahmananda Maharaja, Hari-sauri, and Upendra were present.

Srila Prabhupada was listening for the bell to toll at four o'clock.  Though it rang, he did not hear it.  Becoming concerned, he cautioned, "They must be alert.  After my departure, they will stop it.  So I have to inquire about the temple functions?  What kind of ringing is going on?  It should not be whimsical." During the past years, Srila Prabhupada had untiringly instructed them how and when to ring the bell.  "That is my concern: if such huge establishment, if not properly managed, then again everything will be finished.  In this condition, I cannot even turn in bed.  Please give me chance to die without anxiety.  I have given you my will, executed power-whatever you have wanted-if there is not proper management, it will be havoc."  We reassured Prabhupada that we would do everything and that he should only think of Krsna-Balarama; then we had kirtana.

In the late afternoon, Srila Prabhupada said to me, "I must thank you that you took me to London and again brought me without difficulty.   That is a great credit for you.  That I am thanking you, in this condition, a bundle of bones.  You did it.

"Yesterday, I saw that central station in Bombay, so much crowd.  Un-expectantly.  You marked it?  Because they have introduced twenty-four-hour train.  This strike instrument [there was an airline strike] is so bad.  The modern civilization is so dangerous.  Without hands and legs, how one can function?  Therefore, Vedic civilization sees to it that everyone is engaged."

In the evening, I asked Srila Prabhupada whether we, the servants, could use his bathroom upstairs, as it did not seem he would be going upstairs.  Srila Prabhupada said, "It is better not to use my bathroom."  I inquired then about a number of related topics.  Prabhupada replied, "My rooms around the world should be kept as museum after my departure.  A memorial may be constructed at the left area after entering the Krsna-Balarama Temple, and my body should be placed there.  A deity may be installed there."  I asked whether we should still build his house in Mayapur, and Srila Prabhupada replied, "Yes, the house may be built as a memorial."  In other words, there was no need of building a separate memorial. "Take flowers and install murti."

During the night, Prabhupada told Kuladri that no one should cook without his permission.  This statement was obviously made in connection with Pranava's wife, who was allowed by Upendra to serve Prabhupada the food she prepared.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 1^st- October 2^nd-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

The kaviraja came to examine Srila Prabhupada and concluded that there was no disease, just complete weakness.  He recommended drinking some milk, Complan, grape and pomegranate juice, and prescribed a number of medicines.  Because we could not understand Bengali, Saccidananda Prabhu was summoned.  I was a little concerned, knowing that he was scatter-brained.

Afterward, Prabhupada called me in and Srila Prabhupada said we should all cooperate to follow strictly the kaviraja's treatment.  We decided to call Bhakti-Caru Maharaja immediately to Vrndavana.  Prabhupada related what the kaviraja told him. "My life is finished. I am living by the grace of Krsna.  For me, either I live or die.  It is all right.  But if you are trying for my life, try very seriously.  There should be no negligence."  I was very overjoyed to hear Srila Prabhupada speaking of at least "trying for his life," even if he said that, for himself, it didn't matter.  I said, "Srila Prabhupada, in Bombay you were hopeless, but now there seems to be some hope."  Prabhupada replied, "The Bombay kaviraja was hopeless."

When Hamsaduta Maharaja arrived, Prabhupada called for him to give the latest information on the Kovoor case.  After telling how the issue was now pretty much finished, Hamsaduta described the fighting between Hindus and Buddhists.  The Ceylon government was trying to establish Buddhism as the state religion.  Hamsaduta recommended that in Ceylon we establish a temple with a Deity of  Buddha along with our other Deities and speak from the Dhammapada along with our other books.  Srila Prabhupada was not opposed to this idea, but Srila Prabhupada said that to do so would require a very expert preacher.  He gave some idea of how the preaching should be directed: "First principle of Buddhism is to make one sinless.  But you are not following that.  Buddha came to stop sinful life because you can't understand God and religion.  Nirvana means sarva-dharman parityajya!  Krsna says, 'Give up!'  That is nirvana.  It requires expert presentation."  After speaking more animatedly than he had for days, Srila Prabhupada lay back down, exhausted.

After the kaviraja saw him, Prabhupada went for darsana.  After offering respects to each of the Deities, he immediately asked to be brought back, being exhausted.  He suggested that tomorrow the palanquin would be better than the chair.

We discussed the difficulty in dealing with the Punjab National Bank.  Prabhupada was glad to hear that Giriraja felt very confident to go over the heads of the local bankers to the higher authorities in Delhi to complain, if necessary.  Prabhupada stated the reason we were no longer eager to bank with them, "The psychology is that so long I keep money in the bank, it is in my pocket.  But as soon as I feel the bank wants to keep it, then I want to withdraw it.  The Central Bank of India is straightforward."

Hari-sauri asked whether he could have a deity of Prabhupada.  Srila Prabhupada said no.  It would be better to have his deity on the altar where everyone could worship.  Hari-sauri mentioned that he had some items of clothing, etc., which he wished to worship; but Srila Prabhupada said he could do that later, "when I am no longer present."

Upendra woke Prabhupada up to give him medicine.  Prabhupada responded, "When I am sleeping, do not wake me for anything.  Sleep is more important than anything."

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 3^rd-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

During the night, following the kaviraja's medicine, Prabhupada experienced much coughing and mucus.  He called me in the morning and in a barely audible voice Srila Prabhupada said, "Last night was havoc.  The kaviraja's medicine is complete failure.  I had to take expectorate."  Srila Prabhupada was very drowsy from the effects of the "expectorate."  His whole body was more swollen than in many months.

When the kaviraja came, he recommended a number of things; but during the day, Prabhupada refused all medicine.  When we learned that the kaviraja was now charging exorbitantly, Srila Prabhupada said not to call him anymore.

Prabhupada asked that the G.B.C. members present should now begin to chant for him.  He very much enjoyed Hamsaduta Maharaja's kirtana.

Giriraja and I went to Punjab National Bank, then reported to Prabhupada.  Prabhupada advised, "The best policy is not to keep money in the bank.  My will is to spend it: fifty percent for printing and fifty percent for construction."

Prabhupada requested me to write to Dr Ghosh in Allahabad, stating that whatever Dr Ghosh wanted to do, he was welcome to do.    At this stage, however, Prabhupada did not want to go to the hospital.  But he could come and treat him personally."

Srila Prabhupada asked for raisins and honey, ground together.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 4^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

Srila Prabhupada awoke at 7:00 a.m. and asked for me.  Srila Prabhupada said, "It is 7:00 a.m., so bathe me."

While bathing Prabhupada, I told him that I was expecting Krsna's miracle.

"I am also," he concurred."

"We should depend on Krsna, not on these kavirajas," I said.

Prabhupada agreed, "That is real dependence."

"In your books, it is mentioned that when the spiritual master retires, the elder disciples stay with him and render menial services.  Is that what is happening now?" I questioned.

"Yes," he answered.

Prabhupada had me rub a mixture of honey and calcium carbonate on his back to help heal the bed sores.

"Srila Prabhupada, your disciples are highly qualified," I said.

"There is no doubt about it.  They are much more qualified than I am," he replied.

Prabhupada asked whether he should take darsana of the Deities.  Since he was feeling so tired and weak, I advised that he take rest and go tomorrow.

Because the swelling had not decreased, Prabhupada gave us the formula of slake lime mixed with freshly-ground turmeric and water.  When the resulting paste was applied on the swollen areas of Srila Prabhupada's body, his skin became reddish, as did all his sheets and pillows, colored by the turmeric.

When Srila Prabhupada was told that Hari-sauri had approached the Delhi astrologer for a more detailed report of Prabhupada's immediate future, he was not pleased.  His Divine Grace said, "Do not pay the astrologer.  It is useless.  They are karmis.  We don't associate with karmis."

It was mentioned that the astrologer had given a special mantra to be chanted many thousands of times by ten brahmanas for twenty-one days.  Srila Prabhupada responded, "We have the maha-mantra.  There is no need of others.  Better to arrange kirtana as much as possible.  Kirtana is so sweet.  I can hear twenty-four hour kirtana.  Don't waste time and money any other way.  This is the real business-twenty-four hour kirtana.

"Srila Prabhupada, your disciples want so much to be with you," I said.

"And I want to be with them."

"It is our greatest pleasure to serve you," I continued.  "So many fathers to serve you."

"Please do that," Prabhupada requested.  He is willing to accept so much service.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 5^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

When Paramananda arrived, Prabhupada said to him, "I was to come [to Gita-nagari].  Be blessed.  Of course, if I die there is nothing to lament.  You are quite competent.  Organize this farm project.  Simple living.  Human life is meant for God realization.  My physical presence is not important."  Paramananda gave Srila Prabhupada a shawl that Satyabhama had spun from the sheep's wool at Gita-nagari.  Prabhupada very much appreciated it and immediately wrapped himself with it.  It perfectly covered his entire body.

After bathing, Prabhupada decided to go to the temple for darsana of Krsna-Balarama.  Prabhupada then sat beneath the tree in the temple courtyard, in the palanquin made especially for him.  With Guru-krpa Maharaja leading the kirtana, Srila Prabhupada indicated toward the end that everyone should rise and dance.  Afterward, we took Prabhupada out through the main doors; but instead of returning to his room, Srila Prabhupada decided to circumambulate the temple.  He did so to the accompaniment of an enthusiastic kirtana.

Calling for Gopala Krsna, Srila Prabhupada said that the books printed in India were selling very well in Australia, so we should print more and sell them in Europe, America, and everywhere else.  Not wanting to keep money in the bank, he had just transferred four lakhs of rupees to Bombay to be used for printing.  Gopala Krsna mentioned that they were thinking to build a godown (on the first floor of the Bombay gurukula building), which was very much needed.  He asked whether the money could be used for that purpose, and Srila Prabhupada said yes.

In the early afternoon, Srila Prabhupada called me and Srila Prabhupada said, "I am not drinking anything; still there is mucus.  What is to be done?"

I repeated his previously spoken words that there must be some husband [doctor].

Meditating on my statement, Srila Prabhupada said, "Yogendra Ras is last husband."

"What if after a few days, you stop taking that also?" I asked.

"Then I will be a widow," he replied.  He asked Hari-sauri to prepare the medicine.  I suggested putting the regular powder on the body, and he consented.  I applied the powder thoroughly for about half an hour.

Prabhupada called for Saccidananda and discussed the kaviraja and his beginning to charge exorbitantly.  Prabhupada decided to call for a Vrndavana doctor in Loi Bazaar, who, with his son, practiced allopathy.  When Srila Prabhupada realized it was Thursday afternoon, Srila Prabhupada said to wait until tomorrow to call them.

Prabhupada called me in to ask whether I had written Dr Ghosh,  requesting him to come.  I had.  Srila Prabhupada said, "These doctors will come and give something to try and save.  I don't want to be saved.  Dr Ghosh may come for the clinic he wants to develop, but not for treatment."

I asked whether the two doctors from Vrndavana should come.  Prabhupada answered, "No.  Better to take your advice for kirtana." I agreed that kirtana was best because, in that way, we could ask Krsna to spare his life.  Prabhupada replied, "Better you don't pray to Krsna to save me.  Let me die now."

Prabhupada lay there for some time; then sitting up, he suddenly Srila Prabhupada said, "Anything to ask before I depart?"  I answered that he had told us everything.  Srila Prabhupada said, "If Hamsaduta is not tired, he can continue singing."  After hearing Hamsaduta's sweet singing for another two hours, Srila Prabhupada stopped him and thanked him.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 6^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

In the morning, Prabhupada asked Hamsaduta to sing the prayers from the fifth chapter of Brahma-samhita.

Yesterday, Prabhupada drank only once the whole day.  Today, after drinking Complan in the morning, he did not drink again all day.  When I requested Srila Prabhupada to drink more, since there was no coughing, Prabhupada laughed, saying, "Survive?"  I said we were not prepared to let him go yet."

We brought in a bronze bust of His Divine Grace, which he very much appreciated.

Just before Prabhupada went to the temple for darsana, Bhakti Prema Swami appeared.  He had left ISKCON, but on the request of Gopala Krsna he had shaved up and returned.  Prabhupada, sitting in his wheelchair, was very affectionate to him, rubbing Bhakti Prema's head and crying a little.  Srila Prabhupada said, "You have come, and whatever you want, you will get.  Americans and Europeans.  When I was in London, I was thinking of getting you there.  By Krsna's grace you have come.  Good for us, good for you."

We carried Prabhupada in his palanquin first around the temple, then inside.  After darsana, Prabhupada sat beneath the tamala tree.  He seemed very weak and his eyes had a tendency to roll up.  Gaining control of his body, he moved his head very slightly to the rhythm of the kirtana.  We again circumambulated the temple and returned Prabhupada to his room.  Laying him down, Hari-sauri and I applied powder to his body to reduce the swelling.

I asked Prabhupada about medicine.  Srila Prabhupada said, "I am taking Yogendra Ras, which is the strongest Ayurvedic medicine.  I want strength for hearing the prayers.  Otherwise, if my senses become weak, [how can I hear]?"  I said, "Srila Prabhupada, we want you to live."  He replied, "I have no objection."  Later, however, Srila Prabhupada said it was too difficult to make the effort any longer.

Vrakresvara Pandita led kirtana.  The previous day, Prabhupada had praised him for his sweet voice.

Kirtanananda Maharaja arrived to the delight of Srila Prabhupada, who immediately inquired about New Vrindaban.  Kirtanananda presented Srila Prabhupada many gifts.  There were 7,500 dollars from initiations, a silver-threaded, crocheted bead bag, onyx boxes containing jewels, and a gold ring set with valuable stones.  Prabhupada put the ring on his finger.

There was a valuable brooch that Srila Prabhupada said could be given to Krsna-Balarama.  Kirtanananda Maharaja then requested Srila Prabhupada to please pray to Krsna to be allowed to live.  Srila Prabhupada was very much moved by the touching request.  When Kirtanananda expressed his intense desire for Prabhupada to come to the palace in West Virginia (of which he later showed photos), Srila Prabhupada said, "Unless I become a little strong, I can't go."  Prabhupada tried a little ice cream they had brought and Srila Prabhupada said it was first-class.  He then requested Kuladri to keep everything carefully.

Prabhupada was considering what to do with the gifts Kirtanananda Maharaja had brought him.  He wanted to give the brooch to Krsna-Balarama but felt that the temple would not keep them safe.  He called for Kirtanananda Maharaja and told him to keep the jewels for Radha Vrndavana-candra.  I suggested that the money could be deposited in Prabhupada's personal account, but Prabhupada wished that the money be "utilized for developing New Vrindaban.  I shall come; and if I survive, I have a strong desire to go and live there.  It will be a great pleasure."  Kirtanananda Swami said that the devotees already felt Prabhupada was living there: puja was being performed twice daily at the palace.  Srila Prabhupada said, "Yes, that is the way.  You are worshipping Radha Vrndavana-candra very intelligently, and the place is being developed very nicely.  Whenever you require money, you can ask.  He [Tamala Krsna] will give."  Kirtanananda Swami said, "I prefer to give."  Prabhupada countered, "No, give and take.  You are fulfilling my desires.  New Vrindaban!  I dreamt all this.  Wonderful things have happened.  He is the first student.  From the very beginning, when I was in the storefront, he was bringing carpet, bench, some gong, lamp-seva-service attitude.  Jaya!  Live long!  Serve long!"

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 7^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

Prabhupada passed the night resting fairly well.  Early in the morning, however, he could not become comfortable.  He was shifted from one part of the bed to another without relief.  Finally, the special mattress sent from America to relieve bed sores was removed; and only then did he become comfortable.

At night, there were now always two devotees along with either Abhirama or Kuladri, for kirtana or massage.  During the day, accompanying either Upendra, Hari-sauri, or myself, there were usually five or six devotees performing kirtana.

This morning, I read to Srila Prabhupada the astrological report from Delhi.  Although he had told us to disregard the astrologers because they had not charged anything, I felt the report to be accurate.  Besides, the indications were so negative, I thought Srila Prabhupada should be informed in case he wished to prepare himself further.

The report indicated that today (Ekadasi), tomorrow, and October 11^th  would be very negative.  Other days cited as very difficult were October 24^th  and 25^th, November 20^th  to 22^nd, and December 3^rd  and 4^th.  The entire period through April, 1978, was most inauspicious for Srila Prabhupada.  The chart showed many planets and stars entering the eighth house (the house of death).  The chart also forecast that Prabhupada was meant to live to seventy-five years of age but received a special dispensation from Krsna.  The astrologer recommended the chanting of a mantra to Lord Siva who rules the planet giving the most trouble.  Srila Prabhupada heard the report silently and remained unmoved. "We have the maha-mantra."

Srila Prabhupada appears more serene then I have ever before seen him.  He lies silently meditating on the kirtana and prayers, fixing his entire concentration on Krsna.  No longer distracted by the effort to survive, he seems resigned that the end is near.  He no longer forces himself to drink anything.

Today, as yesterday, he drank no more than one glass of liquid.  Once every few hours, he takes a small spoonful of caranamrta.  He is not feeling any pain but rather seems completely peaceful.  He sat up only twice today, and then only briefly.  Occasionally he speaks, giving instructions to his senior disciples.

After he heard the astrologer's report, I bathed Srila Prabhupada.  A kirtana party then entered, led by Hamsaduta Swami.  Prabhupada asked them to sing, "Jaya Radhe, Jaya Krsna, Jaya Vrndavana."

Late in the morning, Hamsaduta asked Srila Prabhupada exactly how to develop Ceylon.  Srila Prabhupada said, "Develop like Kirtanananda Swami.  Now you are serving.  Live very simple life, and at the same time, chant Hare Krsna." Prabhupada began to cry.  "Don't waste time for bodily comforts.  You have got this body; you have to eat something.  You have to cover yourself.  So produce your own food and produce your own cloth.  Don't waste time for luxury, and chant Hare Krsna.  This is success.  In this way, organize as far as possible.  Same time, chant Hare Krsna.  Don't be allured by machinery civilization.  There is enough land.  Especially you, Americans.  Anywhere, you can inhabit.  It is not any difficult.  A cottage.  You can produce your own food anywhere.  Am I right?  And money, spend for Krsna and Krsna's palace.  Krsna's temple for Krsna worship, for Krsna glorification.  Not for personal.  This is human life.  And organize this varnasrama.  Divide the society-brahmana, ksatriya-as there is division in the body.  That is help.  Don't waste human form of life.  By simple living.  I wanted to introduce this.  I have given the idea; you can read.  You are all intelligent-all of you.  Caitanya Mahaprabhu said, 'Para upakara.'  So do good to others-not exploit all others.  Any human being who has been bestowed this body has the capacity to chant Hare Krsna.  Give them chant and make situation favorable.  Is that clear?"  Hamsaduta said, "Yes, it's clear, Prabhupada.  You have made everything very clear."

Prabhupada then called Brahmananda Swami, who was sitting in the back of the room, and began to speak of Africa. "With Nava-yogendra, both of you there also, gradually they are taking.  Try to bring Pusta Krsna back.  He is very competent.  So jointly organize Africa.  Have sankirtana.  All Europeans, Americans, Africans.  Tulasi dasa is very competent also.  United Nations under Caitanya Mahaprabhu's flag.  Do everything.  It is possible.  I was ... This is real."  Brahmananda Swami recalled, "You said that when you first came to New York. You went to the United Nations the very first time I came to your kirtana there in New York.  The next day, you went to that peace vigil outside the United Nations, and you were chanting Hare Krsna and saying that this Krsna consciousness is the only method for making United Nations."

Prabhupada appreciated his statement and replied, "It is a fact.  If you try under the protection of Caitanya Mahaprabhu, then you will be successful.  Others, they will simply waste time and be disappointed and change his body and suffer.  Today is Ekadasi?  Two songs especially, Cintamani-prakara-sadmasu and Hare Krsna maha-mantra, should be continuously chanted and any song especially, I mean in this room."

I asked Prabhupada if he wanted to drink something.  Srila Prabhupada said that when he did, he would take a little caranamrta.  "But don't take me to hospital."  I said, "No, under no circumstances; even if you are unconscious, we will simply chant."  "Yes, I am quite all right here.  I came back from London on account of leaving this hospitalization."

Upendra, who was holding a Sony tape recorder over Srila Prabhupada, dropped it by accident; and it hit Srila Prabhupada's shoulder.  Srila Prabhupada said, "Be very careful."  A few minutes later, Prabhupada asked that his watch be given to Upendra after his departure.

Prabhupada rested throughout the day, completely peaceful and quiet, hearing the kirtana.  Guru-krpa Maharaja chanted for three hours in the afternoon.  Now, there was no difficulty and no struggle for bodily existence.

During the afternoon, he took 100 cc of grape juice for the second time today.

I sent Bhakti-Caru Maharaja to the Mathura Math of Narayana Maharaja. Bhakti-Caru Swami was to ask about the details of the burial ceremony of Vaisnava acaryas, and later it was typed up.  Brahmananda and I are keeping copies.

Prabhupada called me in the middle of the afternoon to again ask what the most critical times were.  I asked if he would like to lie with his head toward the Deity, and Srila Prabhupada said yes.  Until now, he had been lying with his head toward the door.  Now, ten men lifted the bed and turned it around so that Prabhupada's head was directed toward the Deities, his body parallel to the windows.  Prabhupada had a small sip of caranamrta from his spoon, and Upendra massaged his head with oil.

Prabhupada: So how many critical days?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Critical days-today and tomorrow, up to the eleventh-three days from today.  Today, tomorrow, then one day is not so bad.  Then the next day after becomes bad again.

Prabhupada: In this way, how long prolonged?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Well, those three days are the worst.  Then the whole month is not very good.  In fact, for another two to three months, it's not very good; but those two or three days mentioned are very bad.

Prabhupada: And then again?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Then there are some critical days in the following month.  At the end of this month, there are a couple of critical days; then in the next month, there are two or three; in the following month, there are some.  The outlook for the whole period is not very bright.

Prabhupada: Hmm.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: I think this program of kirtana and just taking a little drink whenever you're thirsty is the right one, because I am seeing how peacefully you are resting, more so than in many days.  Now you should not struggle very hard.  If Krsna wishes, then He will do.

Prabhupada: Hmm.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: We are prepared to stay here and sing for you for one year.

Prabhupada: That's nice.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: It is our greatest pleasure to come and sing for you.  Actually, I was thinking that your whole life is so perfect, Srila Prabhupada; and you have so many faithful disciples, good sons, who are gathered here to be with you.  Everything is perfect with our chanting.

Prabhupada: Yes, go on chanting.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Shall we go on chanting?

Prabhupada: Oh, yes.

Guru-krpa Maharaja resumed the kirtana.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: I don't think you are feeling any pain.

Prabhupada moved his head very slightly to confirm this.

About 6:30 p.m. Adi-kesava, Brahmananda Maharaja, Giriraja, and I sat in the front office discussing the banking problems with the Punjab National Bank.  Upendra entered and said, "Prabhupada is asking for Krsnadasa Babaji."  We immediately thought of Krsnadasa Babaji from Radha-kunda, who is a panda, or tour guide, of the Vrndavana parikrama.  We went in thinking that perhaps Prabhupada wanted to make parikrama arrangements, that he was thinking of staying with us for a while longer.  Crowding around Prabhupada, we leaned close to hear his faint voice.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Srila Prabhupada, do you want to see that Krsnadasa from Radha-kunda?  The panda who takes people around?  Not Niskincana Babaji?

Prabhupada: Yes.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: From Mayapur?  The one who always laughs a lot?

Prabhupada: Who comes to me.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Yes, your Godbrother.

Prabhupada confirmed.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Okay, I'll make sure that he comes.

I repeated that there would be two difficult days, then one day's reprieve, which was Govardhana-puja.  I wanted to see if that information would encourage Prabhupada, but he gave no significant reaction.  The date for Govardhana-puja turned out to be wrong anyway, since the correct date occurs next month.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Srila Prabhupada, have you been thinking about parikrama?

Prabhupada: Do you think in this state it is possible?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: I think it would be difficult.  I think it would be better if we go on parikrama around our temple, Krsna-Balarama Mandir.  That's a little easier.  Don't you think that's better?"

Prabhupada: Hmm.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: If you get a little stronger, then it may be possible.  That will depend on Krsna.  So we should bring Krsnadasa here. Anyone else you want to see?  Narayana Maharaja?

Prabhupada confirmed with his head.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Yes?  We went to see him just to inquire about the necessary ceremony, and he gave us instructions.  I sent Bhakti-Caru Swami and Bhakti Prema Swami, and they wrote down everything.  But Narayana Maharaja was very concerned.  He said he would try to come see you tomorrow.  That's all right, isn't it?  So Krsnadasa can be called for anytime?  Okay.  He stays at Radha-kunda. Does he stay at the Gaudiya Math here?  He does-we'll inquire.

Prabhupada: Narayana Maharaja comes, then everything will be all right."

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: So if I call Narayana Maharaja, is there any need for Krsnadasa to come?

Prabhupada: He can arrange.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Narayana Maharaja.  Actually, he wanted to do that.  He gave us instructions, but he also wanted to take part.  So better I call Narayana Maharaja, then Krsnadasa.  Okay.  I'll send the car for him tomorrow morning.  He was saying he would like to come tomorrow, so I'll send a car and say that Prabhupada requests that you come this morning, if it's convenient.  Is that all right?  Jaya, Srila Prabhupada.

Half an hour later, Bhagavata dasa arrived.  He had lost 115 pounds due to his Caturmasya fast, and he looked very weak and thin.  He went in to see Prabhupada, who asked when he had come.  Upendra told Prabhupada that Bhagavata was very skinny.  Prabhupada was a little surprised and asked, "Why?"

Bhagavata: Because I'm following Caturmasya.  I have reduced to160 pounds.  Before, I was 260; now, 160.

Prabhupada: Very nice.

Prabhupada smiled, and Bhagavata chanted for a little while.

A few of us were sitting in Prabhupada's room, Kirtanananda Swami leading kirtana.  Prabhupada called for Bhagatji and began to ask him about Vrndavana.

Prabhupada: Nothing can be said about that; if He wants, then everything will be all right.

Bhagatji: You mean about Vrndavana?

Prabhupada: Yes.

Bhagatji: Yes, everything will be all right by your blessing.

Prabhupada: One thing is, after my disappearance, there should be festival in every temple.

Bhagatji: Should I call Shastriji tomorrow?

Prabhupada: Why?

Bhagatji: Just to consult.  Should there be some Vaisnava-seva afterwards?

Prabhupada: Yes, in the temples.  Visvambhara Goswami is there, Atul Krsna Goswami is there.

Bhagatji: Yes, I'll go tomorrow.

After a few minutes, he called for Bhagatji again.

Prabhupada: Do you think that everything will run smoothly?

Bhagatji: Vrndavana.  I believe that everything will run smoothly, if everyone works earnestly, honestly.

During the entire conversation, everyone was feeling very depressed.  The atmosphere was filled with despair.  Prabhupada's talking about his samadhi and the events of the last few days have pointed more and more definitely to one conclusion-that Prabhupada will leave us soon.  We obtained details of the ceremony for burial, and now he was asking for his Godbrothers.  Every meeting seemed to be like a final good-bye.  Brahmananda Swami was sobbing at the side of the bed for some time, as was Gopala Krsna, when Narayana Maharaja arrived with a few men. Several devotees had been massaging Prabhupada for half an hour or more.  Tripurari Maharaja was massaging his feet, Bhagatji his right leg, and I his left arm.  Although we gave Narayana Maharaja a seat at the side of the bed, Prabhupada was talking so quietly that Narayana Maharaja had to lean over to hear him.

Prabhupada: Srila Prabhupada wanted that we should preach in Europe.  America, that was my desire; and my other desire was that you all will work together jointly to preach.

Narayana Maharaja: Yes that's right.

Prabhupada: I didn't waste a single moment.  I tried my best, and it has been successful to some extent.  (At this point, Prabhupada was almost crying.)  If we work jointly, then as Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said, 'Prthivite ache yata nagaradi-grama,' has great possibility.  My life is coming to an end.  It is my desire that you all will forgive me for my mistakes.  My Godbrothers-when you are preaching, at times there are some disputes, some misunderstandings.  Maybe I also committed some offenses, like that.  Please ask them to forgive me.  When I am gone, you all sit together and decide, how you can arrange for some utsava [feast] for me.  How much we should pay.  What do you think of this?

Narayana Maharaja: Whatever instructions you give me, I'll follow them with absolute sincerity.  I consider you as my guru.

Prabhupada: Do you think there is any wrong with this proposal?

Narayana Maharaja: It is very nice!  This should be done. You have created something; it is everybody's duty to protect it.  You have taught them yourself.  But in future, if everyone is cooperating with them, then there will be something great all over the world.

Prabhupada: They don't have anything hereditary.  They are born in mleccha and yavana families.  Whatever I could, I taught them and they are also doing with their full capacity.  If you all work jointly, then the whole world is there.  Many big temples have been built.  There is no dearth of money; there is no want of people.  So if the work is done with the right spirit....

Narayana Maharaja: Yes, everyone should cooperate.  And if they are also humble, then it will be so nice. Whatever I can do, I'll do. Whatever help they need from me, I'll always be there to help them.  If  they call me, if they want my advice, if they want me to go somewhere, I'll do everything according to my capacity.  But my capacity is very limited.  Still, whatever I can, I'll do.

Prabhupada: In Vrndavana, how many of our Godbrothers are there?

Narayana Maharaja: Bon Maharaja may be there.  And Indupati Prabhu is.

Prabhupada: I was thinking of him, Indupati.

Narayana Maharaja: No one else is there now.

Prabhupada: Call these two-Indupati Prabhu and Bon Maharaja.

Narayana Maharaja: This is a very nice proposal."

Prabhupada: You can sit down for a while.  Let him also come.  All these misunderstandings and disputes.

Narayana Maharaja: They are all trivial things.  In this worldwide preaching, if some little things go wrong here and there, what difference does it make?  It is all right.  Whatever you have done, you have done for the well being of the entire human society.  There is no individual interest; everything was done in the interest of God.

Prabhupada: All these have been done by your blessings.

Narayana Maharaja: You have achieved an enormous thing.  Now it has to be maintained properly.

Prabhupada: I can't talk.  You explain it to them.  How are you?

Narayana Maharaja: I'm all right.  They are all very efficient and worthy.  You don't worry.  Now you think of the Lord.

Prabhupada: There was a big trouble in Mayapur.

Narayana Maharaja: They will all become all right.  Some evil persons, due to their personal interests, they have done that.  These kinds of obstructions will come, but that is nothing.

Prabhupada: Twenty thousand people came to the protest march.  Have you heard anything?

Narayana Maharaja: Yes, I have heard about and I was very sad.  That was done by the Communists.  They have committed a great wrong.  You don't worry about anything.  Now they will take care of everything efficiently.  Now you think of the Lord peacefully.

Prabhupada: You have your affection for me.

Narayana Maharaja: How can I have affection for you?  I respect you as my guru.

Prabhupada: Yes, I know that.

Narayana Maharaja: If we have committed any offense, please forgive us.  Bless us that we develop attraction for the lotus feet of the Lord.

Prabhupada: Where is Santa Maharaja??

Narayana Maharaja: He's in Bengal now.

Prabhupada: When did he go?

Narayana Maharaja: About a month ago.  Sesasayi has come with me.

Prabhupada: That brahmacari?

Narayana Maharaja: Yes, Sesasayi Brahmacari.  He used to cook for you at times.

Prabhupada: Give them some prasad.

Narayana Maharaja: Sri-rupa manjari pada-sing that.

Sesasayi Brahmacari sang very sweetly; then Narayana Maharaja sang "Jaya Gurudeva, Jaya Prabhupada!"

Prabhupada: Where is Tamala?  (Then to Narayana Maharaja) I have only these bones left.

Narayana Maharaja: It has been very nice that you came to Vrajabhumi from the West.

Prabhupada: Yes, I told them that my condition was very bad.  (To Tamala Krsna) You have consulted with Narayana Maharaja?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Yes, this morning.  Bhakti-Caru Swami, Bhakti Prema Swami, and Sridhara Swami went to see him.  Narayana Maharaja described the ceremony for the departure of a Vaisnava.

Narayana Maharaja: I told them all that is to be done.  And I told them that whenever you need me, I'll come and I'll go with you.

Prabhupada: Is it the right side of the entrance?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Left side.  When you enter to take darsana of the Deity, it is at the left side.

Prabhupada: You put salt on the body?

Narayana Maharaja: Yes, I told them everything.  I'll make all arrangements.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: It is on the same side as the vyasasana, facing east.

Prabhupada: Flowers should be sent to Mayapur for puspa-samadhi.

Narayana Maharaja: Yes, I told them about that also.  During that time, I'll be there personally to see to everything.  You let me know.

Prabhupada: Has Sesasayi taken sannyasa?

Narayana Maharaja: No, he is still a brahmacari.  All the work of your life is very well performed, nothing is left to be done.  There is nothing to worry about.  You have fulfilled everything.  They should be told that they should never get motivated by their own self-interest.  They should make your mission successful.

Prabhupada looked at us all and lifted his hand, palm open, and said, "Don't fight amongst yourselves.  I have given direction in my will. Today is Ekadasi.  Mahaprabhu seva is going quite well?"

Narayana Maharaja: Yes.

Prabhupada: My Mahaprabhu from Jhansi.  (Prabhupada had formerly lived with Narayana Maharaja; and when he moved to Vrndavana, he gave his Deity of Mahaprabhu to Narayana Maharaja.)

Narayana Maharaja: Yes, Mahaprabhu is with us.  We are worshipping Him very nicely.

Prabhupada: There was a good chance in Jhansi, but then I felt that Bhagavan's desire is to build something greater than that.

Narayana Maharaja: That has been better.  Why should you stay at narrow limits?  Bhagavan wanted you to preach all over the world.

Prabhupada: I thought that I would stay in Vrndavana but Bhagavan gave me the inspiration to go to the West at the age of seventy, and His will has been fulfilled.  Something very great has been done.

Narayana Maharaja: Srila Rupa Gosvami's special mercy has been showered upon you.  Special mercy of Sri Sri Radha-Damodara.

Prabhupada: That is something, a pauper like me-how things happen.

Indumati Prabhu arrived at this point.

Indumati: How are you?

Prabhupada: I called you just to tell you that my end is coming.

Narayana Maharaja: He is finding it a little difficult to speak, but he told me everything.  I'll tell you.  He said, "You all come together and preach the words of Mahaprabhu."

Prabhupada: First of all I want to say, forgive me for all of my offenses. I didn't want to hurt anyone; but while preaching, one has to sometimes say something that may offend others.  Will you forgive me?'

Indumati: Yes, yes.

Narayana Maharaja: Maharaja, you didn't commit any offense.  We never thought that you did anything wrong.  On the other hand, you bless us; we need it.  You never did any wrong.  If someone is offended by any of your activities, then it is his fault.

Indumati: He just came back from London.  Why did he go to London in such a condition?

Narayana Maharaja: That's all right.  Good that he came back to Vrajabhumi.

Prabhupada: The program was to go around the world, world tour.  But after going to London, my body's condition became very bad.

Narayana Maharaja: Whatever you told me, I'll tell that all the disciples of Prabhupada [Srila Bhaktisiddhanta].  I will tell just as you told me.  And I'll see that everyone helps these boys.  You don't worry about anything; just think of God only.

Prabhupada: Just make a list how much money will be needed so that in every Math and temple, an utsava is observed with due honor.

Narayana Maharaja: Did you all understand?

Bhakti-Caru Maharaja: Yes, I understand.  Everything will be done.

Narayana Maharaja (to Indumati): I'll tell you what he said.  He wants utsava should be observed in every temple, and whatever money is needed, they will pay.  (To Prabhupada): You don't worry about anything.  All your disciples are very efficient, and they will take proper care of everything.  Now they have got to know about your desires, and they will take care.  The way you have inspired the whole world with the name of Krsna, everything will be successful for you.  Let us go now.

Prabhupada: Give them some prasad.

Hamsaduta Maharaja began kirtana, and I gave Srila Prabhupada beads.  Fifteen to twenty devotees were all crowded around.  The atmosphere was surcharged with expectancy.  The general feeling for the past few days has been one of increasing hopelessness for Srila Prabhupada's staying with us.  He has gradually reduced the already small amount of fluid he was taking; now he wants only caranamrta.  Preparations for the samadhi and the funeral ceremony were openly discussed.  Prabhupada himself seemed to have given up any idea of trying for improvement.

Narayana Maharaja (feeling Prabhupada's pulse): The pulse is all right.  Your consciousness is perfect; your pulse is all right, perfect.  If you have to go by the will of the Lord, then you will go perfectly.  Maharaja, allow us to go now.  I'll come again.

Prabhupada: Bless me.  (To Tamala Krsna Maharaja) Are you sending them by car?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Yes, Prabhupada.  Bhakti-Caru, you take them.

Indumati: All is Prabhupada's desire.

Prabhupada: Who is in Imlital?  (A temple where Prabhupada lived for a while.)

Narayana Maharaja: None of Prabhupada's disciples is there.

They left, and Prabhupada lay resting.  Around 11:30 p.m., Harikesa Maharaja, Jayatirtha Maharaja, Hrdayananda Maharaja, and Balavanta arrived and went in to see Prabhupada.  As they sat by his bed, Prabhupada spoke to Jayatirtha Maharaja.

Prabhupada: What is the news of South Africa?

Jayatirtha told him that fifteen thousand visitors had come for Janmastami.  ISKCON was becoming very successful there.

Prabhupada thanked him and rubbed him on the head affectionately.

About 2:00 a.m., Bhagavata felt Prabhupada's pulse.  Prabhupada asked who was leading the kirtana, and he was told Tripurari Maharaja.  He asked Bhagavata what was going on in Orissa.  Bhagavata replied that he had sent six thousand dollars.  He described the construction going on: there were to be a kutir [small house] for Prabhupada, a guest house, a brahmacari asrama, a water tank, and an Oriyan-style temple.  Surabhi Swami had told him that Prabhupada's preference was a Krsna-Balarama Mandir style.  Prabhupada said he would look at the plans.  Prabhupada was pleased when Bhagavata said he was going to distribute books in all the villages of Orissa.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 8^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

I felt Prabhupada's pulse and thought it was a little weaker and slower, around sixty beats a minute.  Guru-krpa Swami was leading kirtana softly when suddenly Srila Prabhupada said, "Yasomati-nandana, Yasomati-nandana."  Guru-krpa immediately broke into Yasomati-nandana braja-baro-nagara.  Prabhupada smiled slightly.

We bathed him this morning, since he did not have a bath or a change of cloth yesterday.  We had to do almost everything with Prabhupada lying down because of his feeling very weak.  There was no possibility of taking him for darsana, as he could hardly sit up.  Once he was up, however, he had his back scratched quite vigorously for fifteen minutes; then he lay back down again.  I asked Prabhupada whether he would drink something; but he refused, having already sipped three spoonfuls of caranamrta, which was sufficient.  As Guru-krpa sang, Prabhupada softly spoke, "Let me drink harinam amiya-vilasa," and smiled broadly.

Hari-sauri: That is sweetest nectar.

Prabhupada: Hmm.

Srila Prabhupada said, "Yasomati-nandana," then fell silent again.  Just after breakfast, Prabhupada began to speak with Brahmananda Swami, Guru-krpa Swami, and myself.

Prabhupada: "Nivrtta-tarsair upagiyamanad...."  It is bhava-ausadha, hari kirtana, and caranamrta diet.  (He smiled.)  Diet and medicine, let me depend on this.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: A very pure diet, Srila Prabhupada.  Transcendental.  Not feeling any discomfort?

Prabhupada: Some discomfort.  Lots of cough in my chest.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: So you will bathe a bit now.

Prabhupada: You ... bathed the head?  No.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: No.  Your face was bathed, and your eyes.  Tilaka was put on fresh.

Prabhupada: This time, what they supply?

I explained to Prabhupada what had been prepared for breakfast and lunch.  Prabhupada asked who worked in the kitchen and how many guests came.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Persons staying in the guesthouse.  People also come and eat.

Prabhupada: Yes, that I want.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: They are given a bill.  They pay at the guesthouse.

Prabhupada: Yes.

I explained we didn't charge much, three rupees,  because we were an asrama, not a hotel.  Prabhupada agreed.  He was smiling to hear that everyone took prasadam together.  He rolled his eyes up to the top of the bed and asked Jayatirtha Maharaja what he thought.  Jayatirtha thought it was good.  Prabhupada asked whether everyone else approved.  All devotees present gave their approval.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: You're the perfect father, Srila Prabhupada.  You've provided everything for us-a place to live, food to eat, everything-and you trained us in spiritual knowledge.

Prabhupada: "Hmm ... chant all together!"

All the devotees then chanted the maha-mantra in unison for Srila Prabhupada.

Later, I was sitting and transcribing a tape when Srila Prabhupada coughed.  I brought the spittoon to him, and he spat out a heavy glob of mucus, not the thin, frothy, watery type.

Prabhupada was disappointed to see it and observed, "Without drinking, cough is coming."

Hari-sauri: That's what the doctor said would happen.  Without strength the body cells weaken; the blood turns to mucus and the body clogs up.

Prabhupada: And if I take [this drink], the cough will stop?"

I suggested that Complan would help, but Srila Prabhupada said he had already tried it.  I mentioned the high-protein drink from America.  Prabhupada curled his lips in distaste and Srila Prabhupada said, "We shall see later." Then I helped him turn onto his side, and he slept a little.

About 11:15 a.m., Prabhupada awakened and asked for me.  I was at a meeting.  When I returned, Prabhupada asked, "What meeting is going on?"

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: A very interesting meeting.  Paramananda, Vamanadeva, Tripurari Swami, Adi-kesava Swami, and I were discussing our Gita-nagari, talking about varnasrama.  Then I described how they were following Prabhupada's teachings.

Prabhupada: Do it.  Go on [push forward]!

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Jaya, Srila Prabhupada!  You are always the centre of our lives.

Prabhupada: Hmm, let us make some [ideal] community.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Show the world how to live ideally.  Go back to Godhead!  Raise your own food, make your own dhotis, make your own building and chant Hare Krsna!  Worship Radha-Krsna!  The materialists are working so hard; and still, they don't have a nice home, they don't have nice clothes, they don't have nice food.  They don't have any love for Krsna.  We have to show how to do everything well, as you have shown us.  We just have to understand what you have given us.

Prabhupada: Thank you.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: We have nothing new to find out, nothing to research.  You've given us everything.  We have only to carry out everything exactly as you've trained us.

Prabhupada: Very nice.  So you can go on with your business.

Kirtana began again and Prabhupada rested.  About 12:30 p.m., we tried to persuade Prabhupada to drink something, but he wouldn't.  He complained about the mucus.  Upendra explained that he was losing more mucus than he was consuming liquid; thus, he was becoming dehydrated.  Still, he refused to take anything, saying, "I feel no inconvenience."  When Upendra left, Prabhupada turned to Abhirama and Srila Prabhupada said, "I am afraid of cough."  When Abhirama asked whether he would take water, Prabhupada thought and replied, "You discuss amongst yourselves and decide what you want me to do."

Abhirama: About recovery, Prabhupada?

Prabhupada: I don't want.

Abhirama: You don't want recovery?

Prabhupada: Yes.

At 1:25 p.m., Prabhupada called for me.  He was halfway through his dinner.  We went close to Prabhupada to hear his voice, by now very weak.

Prabhupada: If I want to survive, of course I will have to take something.  It is not possible to survive without taking something.  But my survival means so many complications, one after another.  Therefore, I have decided to die peacefully in Vrndavana.

His voice trailed off.  He was speaking very quietly, his voice only a whisper.  We were all stunned.  All we could do was look at Prabhupada, as he lay with his eyes closed.  Occasionally he made some noise, "Hmm."  After two and a half very long minutes, I managed to ask whether we should go on with kirtana.  Guru-krpa, Bhagavata, and others had come in.  Hamsaduta Maharaja began singing. We could not take our eyes off Srila Prabhupada.  I told Prabhupada that when some postal receipt in the name of one of his ex-family members came due, it would be given to them.  He answered that they would be satisfied and would not be sorry in any way.  "You have provided for everyone, Srila Prabhupada."  A devotee sniffled and Prabhupada heard him.

Prabhupada: Why do you want me to survive?

The devotees could not speak, because they felt if they asked Prabhupada to stay after he had decided to leave, it would be an offense. They did not want to say, "Stay and struggle," but no one of us wanted him to leave either.  I leaned forward to hear Prabhupada better.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: They want you to survive.

The kirtana had stopped as soon as Prabhupada spoke, and everyone strained to hear him.  The atmosphere was incredibly intense.

Prabhupada: If I want to die, this is the way of peaceful death.

After a short time, I told Prabhupada that I was going out for about fifteen minutes for a discussion.

Prabhupada: For a discussion?  They want me to survive and I want to die peacefully.  I cannot make miracles.  The physical body has to be maintained if I am to survive.  But without taking food, how the physical body will go on?  That is fanaticism.

After a long pause, I told Prabhupada that everything was in the hands of Krsna.  Prabhupada then opened his eyes.

Prabhupada: Krsna wants me [to do] as I like.  The choice is mine.  Krsna has given me full freedom.

Brahmananda Maharaja: It doesn't matter whether you live or die, you will always be with Krsna; and we will be with you because we will follow your instructions.

Prabhupada: Whether I live or die, I will always be Krsna's servant.  If Brahmananda has assured me that this movement will go on, then better let me die peacefully.

Hamsaduta Maharaja began chanting the Cintamani prayers.  When he got to the verse, advaitam acyutam..., Prabhupada opened his eyes.

Prabhupada: This one, yasomati-nandana, and Hare Krsna.  Chant these three.

There was a little confusion whether he meant all the Govindam prayers or that verse only, so Prabhupada spoke again.

Prabhupada: Advaitam acyutam anadir ananta rupam.

It was clear he meant that particular verse.  After a few minutes, I left along with Brahmananda Maharaja and a few others.  Prabhupada suddenly asked, "Kirtanananda has left?"

Hamsaduta Maharaja: No, Prabhupada; he is still here.

Prabhupada: Where is he?

Hamsaduta Maharaja: He's right here in the room.

Srila Prabhupada said, "Oh," and went back to rest.

Brahmananda Maharaja felt very sorry he had told Prabhupada that everything would go on, thus making it easy for Prabhupada to decide to leave his body.  Some G.B.C. members and sannyasis began to discuss our understanding of Prabhupada's statements.  Although he was saying he should die peacefully, he also informed us that Krsna had given him the choice to do as he desired.  Kirtanananda Maharaja concluded therefore, that the choice was really ours.  If we wanted Prabhupada badly enough, then we should go in and ask Prabhupada to stay.  He was giving us this choice.  I pointed out that Prabhupada used the word "survive."  Did that mean we should ask him to survive as he had been doing the last two months?  In that condition, we should not.  But if he could survive to finish the Bhagavatam, then we should request him to stay for that.  Everyone agreed it must be done.  Kirtanananda Swami also brought up the question, why we should  think that there was no hope for him to become fit again?  Jesus brought people back from the dead; even mundane yogis could do it.  Certainly Prabhupada could if he wanted. Reasoning in this way, we reversed the mood that had consumed us for the last few days, and we got the determination to request Prabhupada to stay with us.  It was agreed that Kirtanananda Swami should make the presentation.

We waited until Prabhupada stirred and then all went in and crowded around the bed.  It was 3:30 p.m.  Kirtanananda Swami came forward to the bed as Prabhupada lay waiting.  Kirtanananda Swami bent over to speak, but his lips trembled and his eyes filled with tears.  Suddenly, he broke down sobbing with his head on the side of the bed.  Prabhupada had his arm up in the air trying to feel who it was, but he had a little difficulty twisting his arm down and around.  He asked, "Who?"  Someone answered, "Kirtanananda."  He lay his hand on Kirtanananda's head.  Prabhupada asked, "So what do you want?" and gently rubbed his disciple.  No one could say anything.  We were all waiting for Kirtanananda Swami.  Brahmananda Maharaja was rubbing him on the back to soothe him.  I was encouraging him to say something.

Finally, after gaining control a little, he raised his head and looked at Prabhupada.  Kirtanananda Maharaja said, "If Krsna gives you the choice, don't go!  We need you."  He said this very pleadingly.

Prabhupada moved his hand around the air to indicate all of us.  "This is your joint...? You have discussed?"

Brahmananda Maharaja spoke, trying to be positive, but also full of emotion, "We have all met together.  Srila Prabhupada, we want you to remain and lead this movement and finish Srimad-Bhagavatam.  We said you must remain for at least another ten years.  You have only done fifty percent of your work.

Prabhupada listened carefully without any movement.  At the part about fifty percent, he frowned, "No."  Then he gave a loud "Hmm," as if he were considering our proposal.  Again, "Hmm," several times.  We were held in suspense, unable to think, speak, or do anything except look intently at Srila Prabhupada.  With his eyes still closed, he began to yawn.  Then, with his mouth stretched open, Srila Prabhupada said, "All right."  It was the most completely casual decision on life or death ever made.

At that moment, we understood Prabhupada's supremely independent position.  He could stay or go as he chose.  But we had become so faithless that we had actually begun thinking that Prabhupada's leaving was inevitable and could not be prevented, that his body was finished and no one could do anything about it.  Now, he displayed his wonderful transcendental nature.  A simple yawn, "All right," as if it were the most unimportant thing in the world!

Immediately, Harikesa Maharaja gave out a short laugh, the sort he saved only for Prabhupada when His Divine Grace did something completely outrageous from the material standpoint and fooled everyone and proved himself to be completely beyond our understanding.  Everyone else laughed-a short nervous laugh-for relief and for such a wonderful happening.  But we stopped short because we were not sure whether laughter was appropriate.  Since we didn't know whether to laugh or cry, we fell silent to see what Prabhupada would do next.  Srila Prabhupada said simply, "So-give me something to drink."  Everyone erupted, "Jaya Prabhupada!"  Now it was confirmed; everyone felt great relief.

Kirtanananda Maharaja: All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

Prabhupada: That is real affection.

The entire atmosphere completely changed.  He was helped up so he could drink; and as we watched, he drank a whole glass of grape juice.  Instead of withdrawing his energy as he had done steadily for the last few days, he came to life again.  As he lay back, Srila Prabhupada said, "Thank you very much.  Hare Krsna!"

Devotees: Hare Krsna!

After a long pause, Srila Prabhupada spoke again.

Prabhupada: Strawberries?  They have brought?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Yes, Prabhupada.  Very nice strawberries."

Prabhupada: I'll take some strawberries.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: You want only juice or plain strawberries.

Prabhupada: Plain!

Devotees: Jaya!

Prabhupada asked what the value of strawberries was.  Tejiyas suggested that they were beneficial because they had sugar.  Prabhupada seemed satisfied with that.  Then he questioned Tejiyas further: Had he come from Hyderabad?  What was the news?  Tejiyas told him that mung, rice, and corn were being harvested.

Prabhupada: From corn, you can make two things: roti and bhata [rice].  The villagers will like it very much.  You smash it by...dhenki.  You know that machine?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: The ladies jump on it.

Prabhupada: Yes.  So, as much as it is powdered-make it roti and the hard portion make like rice.  It is very nutritious.

After another lengthy pause, the conversation continued.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Actually, Srila Prabhupada you gave your word to Krsna in Bombay that you would see Him sitting in His big new temple, and you have yet to keep your word fully to Him.

At this Prabhupada began to smile very brightly.

Brahmananda Maharaja: We have fixed a date for the Bombay opening: January 1.

Prabhupada: Oh!

Brahmananda Maharaja: So we would like to invite you to come, Srila Prabhupada.  It is your temple. You have asked Krsna to come there.  When we all gave up, you carried on the fight.

Prabhupada: Yes. (He smiled broadly.)  There was a great fight.  After fighting, to construct such a big temple is a great triumph.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: I don't think Krsna will come into the temple unless you are personally there to open the door.

Prabhupada continued to smile.

Prabhupada (to Kirtanananda): Krsna's palace, when will it be ready?

Kirtanananda Maharaja: Early spring, as soon as the weather is a little warmer.  It just gives you a little time to recuperate and then go to Bombay and open up the temple there and then come to your palace.  I have fifty to seventy-five letters from all the devotees at New Vrindaban, and they are begging you to come.  They say their life is finished if you don't.

Prabhupada: So let me take a little rest and then I shall take strawberry.

Devotees: Srila Prabhupada ki jaya!

Prabhupada called in Giriraja to discuss the banking situation.  Because of the difficulty with the local Punjab National Bank, Giriraja and I decided to transfer the fixed deposits to Delhi.  Prabhupada listened to everything and rested a little.

Later in the afternoon, Ramesvara Swami came to see Prabhupada.  He told Prabhupada that Parivrajakacarya was preaching to the royal family in Iran.  The Shah sent a car to him every day, and he preached to the prince and princess.  Prabhupada was very pleased.  Because it is a Muslim country, books of religions other than Islam were difficult to publish.  The princess, however, ordered the minister in charge to print our first book.  She had once visited the Los Angeles temple and had been highly impressed by the doll museum.  Ramesvara Swami had given her a Tenth Canto painting of Krsna stealing butter, before he left Teheran to come here.

Prabhupada interrupted and asked for someone to scratch his back.  Kirtanananda Swami responded.  Prabhupada asked, "Anyone can scratch very hard?"  Kirtanananda Swami objected, "I'm afraid you'll have no back left!"  Prabhupada laughed, "Oh!  Kirtanananda, you are doing?"

Ramesvara Swami continued, saying that the royal family wanted to meet Srila Prabhupada.  Pleased, Prabhupada suggested that because they had money, they could do much good if they took our instruction.  Hearing that the three European zones were the top book distributors in the world last week (London had distributed seventy thousand  books in one week), Prabhupada commented, "Vedic civilization is sarve sukhino bhavantu, 'everyone be happy.'  This is Vedic civilization.  This is the way.  Caitanya Mahaprabhu's mission."

Ramesvara Swami described the restaurant in Teheran  and how many big people were coming for lunch.  Srila Prabhupada said Atreya Rsi was very expert, and he asked about Dayananda.  Ramesvara Swami told Prabhupada that a local man was translating Bhagavad Gita.

Prabhupada: Do like that. Prthivite ache yata nagaradi-grama.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: You are doing that, Srila Prabhupada.

Prabhupada: You are helping me.

At around 9:15 p.m., Yasodanandana Swami was chanting Brahma-samhita for Prabhupada.  Prabhupada stopped him and began to preach.

Prabhupada: That will be our excellent achievement.  This is our mission.  That whatever we have got-teach others.  Distress-the whole world....  Did you recite the verses in Fiji?

Yasodanandana Maharaja: Yes, we recited all these verses in Fiji.

Prabhupada: They appreciated?

Yasodanandana Maharaja: Yes, they liked very much.  They had never heard before.

Prabhupada: The gurukula is meant for this purpose.  Teach them and let them go around the world to teach.  Taroho e bhava-sindhu.  Durlabha manava-janama sat-sange, tar oho e bhava-sindhu re. This is our mission.  Isopanisad?  Jijivisec?  What is that verse?

Guru-krpa Maharaja:

kurvann eveha karmani

jijivisec chatam samah

evam tvayi nanyatheto 'sti

na karma lipyate  nare.

Prabhupada: How many things we have to do!  For preaching, for teaching!  Live hundreds of years!  (Short pause)  We are receiving very good reports from Iran.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: The royal family is taking to Krsna consciousness. I think even your own Guru Maharaja would have been surprised to hear that, Srila Prabhupada.

Prabhupada: Everyone!  If one is actually a gentleman.  So we have this gurukula: good chance for teaching future preachers.  Here is Yasodanandana Maharaja and others.  He can do.  Prepare and send out.  How much tremendous work we have to do!

Brahmananda Maharaja: The whole world, Srila Prabhupada.

Hari-sauri: It is unlimited.

Prabhupada: It is unlimited.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: And you have to lead us, Srila Prabhupada.

Prabhupada: Yes, I am prepared, provided Krsna allows me.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Today, you have said that Krsna has given you the choice.

Prabhupada: Hmm.

Hari-sauri: In the Bhagavatam, you mentioned that Narada Muni  has the free will to travel anywhere in the material and spiritual universe, so you must also have the same ability.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: We were discussing how nice a devotee you are, Srila Prabhupada, that you are so faithful a servant and devotee of Lord Krsna.  That He allows you to do whatever you want because He knows that you will do everything for Him. (Pause)

Prabhupada: Visaya means material activity; so one side is visaya chariya, se rase majiya. One has to give up material activity and engage in Krsna consciousness.  This is one side; and another side, my Guru Maharaja said: krsna-bhajane yaha haya anukula, visaya baliya tyage taha haya bhula  Anything which is favourable for Krsna-seva, if we give up that business as visaya, that is mistake.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Your life, Srila Prabhupada, is the most favourable thing in this world for spreading Krsna consciousness, so you shouldn't give it up.

Prabhupada: Anyway, Krsna has given us so many innocent boys.  Yasodanandana Maharaja, teach them.

Yasodanandana Maharaja: Yes, Srila Prabhupada.

Prabhupada: Like you-super excellent.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: We are your innocent boys, Srila Prabhupada.

Prabhupada (after a pause): Let there be struggle for existence for this purpose!  What is the time?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Just past 9:15 p.m.

Prabhupada: Nana-sastra-vicaranaika-nipunau.

Brahmananda Maharaja: Srila Prabhupada, I was thinking that the religion of Jesus Christ has spread all over the world, and you are much greater than Jesus Christ.  Your teachings are greater, and your power is far, far greater.  So if you can remain here more and more years, then certainly this Krsna consciousness movement will be spread all over the world."

Prabhupada: I am willing.

Brahmananda Maharaja: And actually we can make this whole world Krsna conscious.

Prabhupada: Yes, not difficult.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: You said you still wanted to see this whole world over flooded with Krsna consciousness.

Prabhupada: We can do that.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: As you instruct us, Srila Prabhupada, we will carry out your instructions exactly.

Prabhupada: Two things.  Visaya chariya.  Material motive should be given up and everything for Krsna's service.  Whatever favourable, then it will....  (break)  Atreya Rsi is doing nice.  Who is that Maharaja?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Parivrajakacarya Swami.

Prabhupada: Very nice.  Good combination.

Tamala Krsna: He tricks them.  In the guise of teaching a little hatha-yoga, then he teaches bhakti.

Prabhupada: That is preaching.

Brahmananda Maharaja: You also tricked us, Srila Prabhupada.  When you came to New York, you were just chanting Hare Krsna and speaking Bhagavad Gita.  And we came and we listened, and then you took everything.  You took our lives, all of our money; we left our family. (Everyone laughed.  Prabhupada laughed out loud.)

Prabhupada: There is one Bengali word, "Enter like a needle and come out like a plow."  (All laughed.)  If you say in the beginning, "I am a plow," they will never allow you to enter.  Say, "I am a needle."  This way, try to serve Krsna.  He'll give all intelligence.  Buddhi-yogam dadami tam.  Now go take rest.

Hamsaduta Maharaja: Would you like some chanting?

Prabhupada: Chanting I like always.

Prabhupada rested comfortably during the night.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 9^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

Next morning, Bhavananda Maharaja, Satadhanya Maharaja, and Subhaga arrived.  Prabhupada talked with Subhaga about Mayapur for a while.  He has always been anxious to hear the news since the attack by the Muslims.  Bhavananda and I came in at 7:00 p.m.  Bhavananda gave Prabhupada details about Mayapur.  He said everything was pleasant there now, that they had been released by the magistrates for travelling and preaching in India.  A new hearing having been scheduled for November 29, we were expecting charges would be brought against the Muhammadans for attacking us.  Srila Prabhupada said, "Rakhe krsna mare ke."  Bhavananda related that his men were distributing thousands of books at Haridaspur.  Five thousand people took prasad at the celebration of Haridasa Thakura's disappearance.  Prabhupada asked, "What is the attitude of my Godbrothers?"  Bhavananda answered, "Favourable and helpful."  Bhavananda described how, during the monsoon floods, the Ganges came within fifteen feet of Bhaktisiddhanta Road.  After the attack, twenty to twenty-five devotees left.  There were now 160, including eighty-six gurukula children.  Older children were distributing books, going out to the universities.  In Calcutta, they sold 100 to 150 books, including those sold from a book stall on Park Street.  Prabhupada said everything was favorable.

Prabhupada: For myself, I will live or not live; it doesn't matter.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Actually, Prabhupada, it may not matter for yourself, but it matters a lot to us and to the world.

Prabhupada: Hmm.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: We don't want...you can't leave us now.

Prabhupada: I don't want, but if there is force....

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: But you said that Krsna will let you choose now.  That you can live or go.  Krsna has given you that choice.

Prabhupada: I am living still.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: There is so much to be done, Prabhupada.  Your activities are not completed yet.  We have to install the Deities in Bombay.  You have to live in your palace in New Vrindaban.  You have to show the varnasrama.  You have to complete Srimad-Bhagavatam.  You have to live in your new house in Mayapur.  And we have to make at least a good start on the new temple in Mayapur.  Everything is still incomplete, what to speak of the fact that we are very much neophyte still.  We need you more than anything else.  This movement has to last for ten thousand years.  We're not ready yet.  We're still very much conditioned and contaminated.  If you can stay with us another ten years at least, then there is a chance we may become purified a bit more.  And it is within you to be able to do that.  Krsna will allow you to do that.

Prabhupada (after a pause): People are coming like before.

I thought Prabhupada was talking about Vrndavana and said I had not been attentive to those things due to worry about his condition.

Prabhupada: No, to Mayapur.

Bhavananda Maharaja: Crowds are coming again.  Everything is back to normal.  Bus loads are coming from Bhuvanpur.

Bhavananda went on to describe how nice Mayapur was during the winter, just right for Prabhupada's coming.  I told Prabhupada that everything was just for him.  We've worked and set up the movement just for him.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: You are all we know, Prabhupada.

Prabhupada: And I know you.

A little later, Prabhupada asked me what he should take.  I said I didn't know and asked Prabhupada if he had any suggestion.  Srila Prabhupada said he also didn't know.  Eventually, he took some barley water and Complan, but then coughed for ten to fifteen minutes.  The drinks had immediately turned to mucus.  Prabhupada complained of weakness; thus, he spent most of his time resting and hearing the chanting.  Conversation tired him very much.  After Prabhupada had taken a sponge bath, Dr  Kapoor came and offered to call a doctor from Agra.  Prabhupada agreed to see him.  Then one old Ayurvedic doctor was called, and Dr Kapoor went outside.

As Dr Kapoor was leaving, the Agra doctor happened to be passing by in a car. Srila Prabhupada said it was Krsna's arrangement.  The Ayurvedic man who came has taken a vow of silence, "mauna," and therefore wrote on a slate.  He prescribed some medicine.  Then, the Agra doctor, a nice man, advised that since Prabhupada needed energy, glucose would be very good.  We showed him some vitamins and protein drinks, which he said would also be good.

When Ramesvara Swami returned, Prabhupada immediately asked about Iran.  "What do they serve in the restaurant?"  Ramesvara described that the restaurant was always full.  Prabhupada asked whether Nandarani was cooking.  Ramesvara confirmed, "Yes, and often also.  A special attraction is that they play your tapes, and people buy books from a table in the main entrance."  Prabhupada was very pleased to hear that we were looking for a bigger place.  He asked about the weather, whether it was warm.  Ramesvara said that Parivrajakacarya Swami had spoken with the Indian ambassador, who told him that Parivrajakacarya was the real ambassador.  Prabhupada gave a loud "hmm" in appreciation, then asked why.  "Because he knows the royal family," Ramesvara replied.  "He spends four to five hours a day talking to the royal family."  Prabhupada asked whether he went alone.  Ramesvara said that he went alone for now and taught them some hatha-yoga also.  They have become vegetarians.  Prabhupada asked whether they were making any chenna [cheese] preparation.

A little later, Prabhupada talked with Satadhanya Swami about the Communists, etc.  During their conversation, Satadhanya Swami begged Prabhupada to stay.  Prabhupada complained about some strain in his left hip and had some Vicks salve rubbed into it.  He kept his left leg bent and resting on a pillow to prevent the strain.

Prabhupada called for Bhavananda Goswami and asked about the reaction to his books in Bengal.  Bhavananda replied that the books were getting a huge response.  Every day, people were asking for Prabhupada's books.  The Bengali Gita was about to be published.

Later in the day, a G.B.C. meeting was held to assess the present situation and determine how best to deal with it.  It was mentioned that Prabhupada called us all here for a special purpose. Now that Prabhupada agreed to stay, we should not think that we could now go back to our zones.  He called us to chant for him.  It was decided that we should all stay at least one week, then meet again on the sixteenth.  I proposed that at least four G.B.C.'s should be with Prabhupada from now on, in addition to the secretary; but my proposal was deferred until the next meeting.  After the meeting, Harikesa Swami took seven new books to show Srila Prabhupada.  Prabhupada was ecstatic.  Of the Yugoslavian Isopanisad, ten thousand copies had been printed!

Prabhupada: They are selling?

Harikesa Maharaja: Yes, they are selling like anything.

Prabhupada: So why not print more?

Harikesa Maharaja: Yes, we intend to, but these were printed in one day so that I could bring some to show you.

Then he showed Srimad-Bhagavatam in German, of which twenty thousand copies had been printed.  Prabhupada looked.  It had Sri Sri Radha-Londonisvara on the jacket.  Prabhupada approved, "Finely printed.  Everything, first class."  Next, Harikesa showed the Srimad-Bhagavatam, Canto Two, Part Two, with a picture of Radha-Govinda in Jaipur.  Srila Prabhupada said he thought the pictures so attractive that they would sell the book.  He asked the price and was told, about eight or nine deutsche marks.  Next came Srimad-Bhagavatam, Canto Two, Part Three, with the German Deities on the front; then the Krsna books, of which sixty thousand copies had been printed.  Prabhupada pronounced, "He has defeated," meaning that Harikesa Swami has defeated Ramesvara Swami in his printing efforts.  Everyone laughed.  Harikesa then showed Volume Two and Three Krsna book, each of which thirty-five thousand copies had been printed.  Prabhupada chided, "Ramesvara Maharaja, how do you like?"  Ramesvara admitted, "Oh yes, these books are very good.  The one incredible thing is that the printers can print there faster than anywhere else in the world."

Harikesa Maharaja: The printer has invited all the BBT trustees from all over the world, and he will pay their fare; and he says he will beat everybody's price anywhere in the world for printing.

Prabhupada: Why not print there?  So why not?

Ramesvara Maharaja: We're planning to go and research it very carefully.

Harikesa Maharaja: Now they are putting out the Arabic Bhagavad Gita and the Polish edition.

Prabhupada started crying, he was so ecstatic.

Prabhupada (to Harikesa Maharaja): You were rotting in your typewriting.  I said to go.  I had ten servants. (To the others) He thought I am degrading him. (Again, to Harikesa Maharaja) Now you understand?

Harikesa Maharaja (also crying): Now I understand, Srila Prabhupada.

Prabhupada: He is a very intelligent boy.  Why should he rot here typewriting?  Whatever deficiencies are there, that is excused.  My Guru Maharaja used to say, "Go on printing, go on preaching.  Deficiencies will be corrected next time."  I printed my books and then. Now, you do it.  All right then, whatever he has printed, that's all right.  These are first class. There is no defect.  German printing is very favorable.  They have got the first-class machine, so we have got so many centers.  Whatever cheaper and better printing can be done, you may take from them.  That's all right.  Thank you.

Harikesa Maharaja: Now you first have to get better, more healthy.

Prabhupada: Healthy?  I have nothing to do with this body.  I have to do with the spiritual world.

Then Bhagavan Maharaja told Srila Prabhupada about how many books his zone was distributing.  They were aiming for over twenty thousand big books in one week.  In Italy alone the devotees were distributing three thousand a week.  They were doing it to encourage Prabhupada to stay.

Prabhupada: Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati will give them blessings.  He wanted this.

Later in the evening, Prabhupada called for me and asked what were the crisis days.  I told him that tomorrow was the first one.

Prabhupada: I think every day is a crisis day.

Kirtanananda Maharaja: You are not under the control of material energy, Prabhupada.

Prabhupada: Things are going from bad to worse.

Prabhupada increased his liquid intake to about 450 cc today; he was taking some glucose with his drinks.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 10^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

Prabhupada spent a restful night and in the morning Dr Kapoor visited again with the Ayurvedic doctor.  Prabhupada complained about a feeling of intoxication, but this was explained away as being due to taking glucose and protein drinks after not taking anything for the last few days.  Prabhupada hadn't taken any of the syrups prescribed by the doctor, but today he was taking some of his medicine.

After the doctor had left, Dr Kapoor was asking about the coming scientific conference that was being held here by our scientists.  Over 150 Indian scientists were expected to come here for three days.  Dr Kapoor was picking faults: that no one would come; that, without having a philosopher speak, we would not get to the root of things.  However, we explained that these 150 were people who had already accepted.  Actually, he was a little disturbed because he hadn't been invited to speak, although he had been given an invitation to attend.

Asked if he felt better today, Srila Prabhupada said that on the whole, he was not any better.  Prabhupada began to speak about the scientists.  He asked if they were all bona fide.  He described as "nonsense"' all different theories-Vivekananda, Gandhi, Ramakrishna, Ramatirtha, Darwin.  He asked if they had all been discussed.  Dr Kapoor was saying that all scientists don't know what is matter-even the biggest scientists.  Although they say that life comes from matter, they admit they don't know what is matter.

Prabhupada: The person from Whom life is coming says, "Aham adir hi devanam."  They'll not believe.

Then Prabhupada described matter in this way:

Prabhupada: Matter, when you combine together, it gives some reaction.  That's all.  Just like soda and acid mixed together, then there will be reaction.  That is matter.  And life is needed to do this.

Dr Kapoor: Matter can give matter.  That is all.

Prabhupada: That's right.  It has no sense.

Dr Kapoor: Another form of matter.  That's all.

Prabhupada: Yes, a third matter.  That is matter.  You can take matter and mix earth with water, put it into fire, then make a building.  Matter cannot automatically do this.  Matter cannot have mind, neither consciousness  nor impetus.

Prabhupada was speaking with great effort, and Dr Kapoor mentioned that this philosophical discussion was a strain for him.

Prabhupada: No.  It is nonsense that matter gives life.  That we want to prove.  Matter has no sense.  Life is superior energy.  This matter is useless.  Bhumir apo 'nalo vayuh.  They are inferior.  Apareyam.  There is another: Yayedam dharyate jagat. That is actually governing the whole universe.  They have defined this apareyam as para. We are not accepting the scientists and speculators.  Philosopher means "materially thinking. “Then Dr Kapoor took his leave.  We were glad to see him go so that Prabhupada wouldn't be strained.

About noontime, Atreya Rsi and Parivrajakacarya Swami came in with a plateful of oranges, sweet limes and plums.  Prabhupada was pleased and asked for some of the juice. Atreya Rsi and Parivrajakacarya Swami gave Prabhupada a copy of the first Persian magazine called Bhakti.  Prabhupada liked it.

Prabhupada: I understand that you go to the royal family and talk to them for hours.

Parivrajakacarya Maharaja: Yes.

Prabhupada: This is very good sign.

Parivrajakacarya Maharaja: Yes, some people in the family are very interested in learning about Bhagavad Gita and Krsna consciousness.  They can do very good things for the world if they simply have knowledge what to do.  So we are trying to preach to intelligent people.

Prabhupada: Yes, intelligent. Yad yad acarati sresthas tat tad evetaro janah.  What intelligent man takes up, the ordinary men generally follow.  Bhagavad Gita is meant for rajarsis, not for foolish.  Imam rajarsayo viduh.  Not for the so-called loafer class. Imam vivasvate yogam proktavan aham.  It is being mistaken.  Bhagavad Gita should be taught to such royal family and if they take up, others will take.  Hmm.  Atreya Rsi, do you follow?  This is a good chance you have got, connection with royal family, and if you turn them to saintly, then the work is successful.  Imam vivasvate yogam proktavan aham avyayam.  Not that third-class foolish can understand what is Bhagavad Gita.  The same building that I went to see?

Atreya Rsi: Jaya, Srila Prabhupada.  That building is now a restaurant.  We have many people every night coming to take prasadam.  Seventy to one hundred people.

Prabhupada: What do you supply?

Atreya Rsi: One thali [plate]: two vegetables, dal, rice, salad, sweet, and then herbal tea and dessert, sometimes fruits.

Prabhupada: They like it?

Atreya Rsi: They like it very much.  Nandarani and Dayananda are managing.

Prabhupada: They are both intelligent.  What do you charge?

Atreya Rsi: A very reasonable price, but many people give donations and take your books.  They take and read and love it.

Prabhupada: Success.

Hari-sauri: What kind of people come?

Atreya Rsi: High class.

Prabhupada: High class?  The low class they purchase one big roti.  (Laughs.)  They cannot come to the restaurant.

Atreya Rsi: Some people even come, higher class people, and even work.  They give their service in the restaurant.  They wash dishes.  They serve tables.  We engage them in bhakti-yoga.

Prabhupada: So, you've made good progress.

Atreya Rsi: It is your mercy, Srila Prabhupada.  (Srila Prabhupada laughs.)  They respect you a lot in Teheran. The businessmen respect you.  They really respect.

Prabhupada: Persian civilization.  Very high Aryan civilization.  Things are going on nice.  Slow but sure.  You have got the Persian civilization and he has got the African civilization.  (To Brahmananda Maharaja) Black and white.

Prabhupada sat up for a drink and commented that he was very pleased with the report from Persia.

Atreya Rsi: You should come and visit us, Srila Prabhupada.

Prabhupada: I am ready to go immediately.

Atreya Rsi: Yes, you will come, Srila Prabhupada.  There are millions of people waiting for you.

Prabhupada: Now you have to take a bundle of bones.  That is the difficulty.  There is nothing but a bundle of bones.

Bhakti-Caru Maharaja: Bone or flesh, your body is divine, Srila Prabhupada.

Prabhupada: Bone is being separated from life.  Here, by example, matter is different from life.  Matter is inferior.  Life is superior-from my life example.  Why the Persian people love me?

Atreya Rsi: They respect your philosophy, Srila Prabhupada.  They understand the philosophy.  They respect the philosophy.

Prabhupada: Very good.

Atreya Rsi: They respect chanting.  They say that your boys are pious and they are chanting the names of God.  And they see them doing wonderful things and they respect it.  They see your books.  Wonderful philosophy always glorifying God.  They respect God.  They are religious.

Prabhupada: Oh yes.

Atreya Rsi: And they know that no one else is doing this.

Prabhupada: Persians, they are Aryans.  When they were attacked by the Muslims, they fled to India.

Atreya Rsi: Now some of the Parsees return to Iran and visit the restaurant every night.  And they are respectful.  They have high philosophy but no one is practically engaging them.  They respect you because you are the only one that is engaging them in devotional service.

Prabhupada: So as soon as I get the opportunity I shall go and meet them.  Thank you very much.

Atreya Rsi and Parivrajakacarya Swami began to chant, Parivrajakacarya led.  Prabhupada sat and listened from his bed.  He asked for Parivrajakacarya Swami to come forward to the bed.  As soon as he knelt in front of him, Prabhupada stroked his head.

Prabhupada: Thank you so much.  You are a great rajarsi.  Do it very nicely.  Don't commit mistake.  Present the philosophy.  Make them rajarsis.

Parivrajakacarya Maharaja: These people knew every royal family in the world, and they are the richest of all of them.  They can change the whole world if we give the philosophy.

Prabhupada: Yes, raja, and if you turn them to rsi, then our mission is a success. Very good service. (To Atreya Rsi) Now you have started your own business.

Atreya Rsi: Jaya, Prabhupada.  Business is not important, but it is a medium for Krsna consciousness.  My secretary is already a devotee and the other people are becoming interested.  The goal is to have a Krsna conscious group working in society.

Prabhupada: Go very slowly.  Never mind.  You are young man.  Hmm. All right.  Go on chanting.  (After a few minutes to Parivrajakacarya) And you take care of your health.

Hari-sauri: It is your health we want to take care of.

Prabhupada smiled.

About 6 p.m. Prabhupada called me.  I explained to Prabhupada how we were planning together to make the Gita-nagari farm successful.

Prabhupada: I was very happy in my heart that respectful gentlemen, out of love, they were washing dishes.  You know that?  Atreya told me.  They are so gentle.

During the day Giriraja had gone to Delhi to arrange to transfer the Vrndavana fixed deposits there.  He came and gave a report in the evening when he returned.  The fact that Prabhupada was hearing this kind of report was good, because it meant that he was not thinking of  leaving us.  Today he took 620 cc of juices, the most since September 30.

In the night Kirtanananda Swami had Prabhupada sitting up and persuaded him to breathe deeply.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 11^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami