srila prabhupada said...!!!
chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)
Even in close association, Prabhupada remained always the spiritual master, a transcendental personality of the spiritual world. It was not that upon close contact or in minute dealings he was ever ordinary; he remained always Krsna's representative. His solutions to practical problems, no less authoritative than his discourses on the Bhagavatam, would invariably be supported with fitting examples from Vedic history.
At such intimate gatherings devotees were free to inquire from their spiritual master about matters bearing directly on their service. I had a question to ask. Prabhupada acknowledged my raised hand. "Swamiji, what is the spiritual world like?"
"In the spiritual world there are no draft boards," came Prabhupada's reply, and all the devotees laughed. One of the devotees must have informed Prabhupada that I was worried about being drafted into military service.
Seeing my puzzled look, Prabhupada explained further. "Once there was a preacher of Christ who was trying to spread Christ's teachings among the coal miners. His preaching was that if they accepted Christ as their savior, they would be spared from going to hell. Hell was a dark, dank place.
"But the coal miners were not impressed. 'We are already in a dark place,' they said.
"The preacher thought that somehow he must frighten them about hell, so that they would believe in Jesus Christ. He could realize that actually these people were already living in hell, so how to impress them?
"Then he thought practically and said, 'In hell there are no newspapers.'
" 'Oh! That is horrible. Very horrible! Then we must immediately follow Lord Jesus.' " And Prabhupada laughed along with all of the devotees. With the help of this humorous story I now understood that spiritual life, the spiritual world, meant that all problems are finished. Though he had not answered my question in an academic way, Prabhupada's reply actually diminished the material anxiety I felt by increasing my faith in the process of Krsna consciousness.
My attachment for Prabhupada grew daily. For the first time in my life I had found someone whom I could trust completely, without any reservations, someone who cared for me more than I could care for myself. I felt so satisfied to be connected with Srila Prabhupada.
Sometimes I would spend an entire afternoon sitting on the steps of his apartment building just to be near to him. Though there was little chance that I would get to see him, I would imagine what he must be doing while in his apartment. Occasionally one of his servants would come out on an errand and, seeing my eagerness, spend a few minutes relating some of Prabhupada's intimate activities. Wanting to keep closely sheltered, I would chant many rounds sitting on his apartment steps. It felt so wonderful to be completely under Prabhupada's protection.
By the association of the pure devotee I was being propelled forward on the path of spiritual life. I was chanting sixteen rounds, austerely living as a brahmacari, following the regulative principles, always attending classes, and trying to render service in whatever way I was asked. But I was not yet initiated.
Initiation meant a lifetime commitment, a final severing of all material connections with old memories, past friendships, and mundane relationships. It meant my accepting the spiritual master as my eternal father, the Vedic teachings as my mother, and the devotees as my family. Initiation would establish my actual connection with Krsna.
I had no doubt that Srila Prabhupada was a bona fide spiritual master, qualified to take me back to Godhead. He was in an unbroken line of disciplic succession from Krsna Himself. He was in perfect knowledge of the sastra and never spoke anything that did not agree with Vedic conclusions. His actions were above suspicion. Prabhupada was Krsna's pure devotee, and I was ready to surrender my body, mind, and words to him. I had very little idea who Krsna was, but I was certain that Prabhupada had an intimate relationship with Krsna and that by pleasing him I might one day also be able to please Krsna.
The devotees told me that after initiation the Hare Krsna mantra is more powerful. At the time of initiation the guru takes all of the resultant actions of the disciple's past sinful life. To have a bona fide spiritual master was an absolute necessity if one hoped to make advancement and end the cycle of repeated birth and death. And although Mark and I had been living in the temple less than a month, Prabhupada decided that we should receive initiation without waiting any longer.
It was Easter Sunday. After his morning walk at Stowe Lake, Prabhupada returned directly to the temple instead of proceeding to his apartment, as was his normal habit. He entered the small storefront's double doors amid the excitement of the devotees, who were busily completing the final arrangements for the initiation ceremony. Everyone enjoyed initiations, when they would formally welcome new members into their spiritual family. Prabhupada walked to the rear of the temple room and offered his obeisances at the altar of Lord Jagannatha. Then he turned around and walked a few steps to a cushioned seat which had been arranged before the raised mound of earth where the fire sacrifice would take place. Sitting in a meditative, sober mood, he began to play his karatalas, singing prayers to the disciplic succession, Lord Caitanya, and Radha-Krsna.
"Visnujana means 'one who serves the devotees of the Lord,' " Srila Prabhupada said, handing Mark his beads. And then, looking directly in my eyes, Prabhupada asked, "What are our principles?"
"No meat, fish, or eggs, no intoxication, no gambling, and no illicit sex." I felt very close to Prabhupada. He was accepting me as his eternal son and disciple, and his look was that of a most loving father.
"Your name is Tamal Krishna. Tamala is the name of a tree that grows in Vrndavana. Because it is the same colour as Krsna, the gopis, out of separation, sometimes mistake the tree to be Krsna Himself. Especially Srimati Radharani would embrace the tamala tree and always take rest underneath it whenever She was feeling separation from Krsna."
All of the devotees cheered. They were happy to have two new Godbrothers, and they liked the names that Prabhupada had given.
Prabhupada was leaving for New York. There had been hardly any time for me to relish the pleasure of being his initiated disciple, and now already he was leaving. I could not imagine what it would be like without Srila Prabhupada personally present in San Francisco. The devotees said that service in separation was more intense, and one felt closer than ever to his spiritual master. It was a chance to make more advancement, to perfect one's service for the next meeting. But all I could think of was that I did not want Srila Prabhupada to leave. I was still too new a devotee, and I wanted his association more than anything.
As Prabhupada sat in the airport, the devotees chanted Hare Krsna. The chanting was different from when we were in the temple. The mood was one of expectant separation. I kept looking at Srila Prabhupada's face, trying to imprint the vision deep within my heart, so that it would remain there in the months to come. I never wanted to forget Srila Prabhupada. Then Prabhupada suddenly rose, and with his servants moved toward the boarding gate. We all followed behind, continuing to chant Hare Krsna. As Prabhupada reached the gate, he turned around, and raising his arm to acknowledge the devotees' prayers, he proceeded to board the plane. I rushed toward the partition and pressed my face against the glass, trying to catch a last glimpse of Prabhupada through the small round windows of the jet.
As the plane began its slow movement toward the runway, I kept my face pressed against the glass. I remembered hearing how the gopis, on seeing Krsna leaving Vrndavana, felt their hearts breaking out of separation. They had stood as if petrified, watching Krsna leave, unable to take their eyes away even when only the dust of the chariot remained. I also felt my heart choked from missing Prabhupada. I could not take my eyes away as I watched the plane ascend into the air and disappear through the clouds, leaving only a misty trail.
Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-Servant of the Servant-The West Coast Days-"Your Name Is Tamal Krishna"-Tamala Krsna Goswami
chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)
A devotee considers his age as beginning from the time of initiation. By such calculation, I was only four days old. I admired how the devotees were able to carry on their regular activities, but I felt Prabhupada's absence difficult to bear. In the past few weeks most of my time had been dedicated to developing an attachment to his personal association. A tender connection had been established by the ceremony of initiation, but I had no experience of how to maintain the relationship now that Srila Prabhupada had left. Unlike the other devotees, I had not yet learned how to associate through service. His physical presence still meant everything to me.
Prabhupada's apartment still had a few days remaining on the lease. I told Jayananda that I felt ill, and with his permission I took my sleeping bag and stayed there. Actually, I was simply missing Prabhupada. Staying in Prabhupada's quarters helped. I sat in his room, where I had first seen him hold darsana, and chanted Hare Krsna, again feeling his presence. Though the apartment was now empty, I felt comforted by these memories.
The more experienced devotees suggested that I should engage in some service. Now that Prabhupada had gone to the East Coast, someone was needed to regularly supply him the fresh eucalyptus twigs that be used as toothbrushes. Originally, while in India, Prabhupada had used the twigs of the nima tree for this purpose. The nima grows nearly all over the Indian subcontinent, and its sap is full of antiseptic properties. People can conveniently break off a twig, and by chewing on one end make it into a soft brush, which they use for cleansing their teeth. Although this tree does not grow in the United States, Prabhupada found the eucalyptus, which grows abundantly on the West Coast, to contain similar properties to the nima.
I relished this chance to perform some practical service for my spiritual master. Besides, it allowed me to enjoy once again the natural environment of the forest, this time in the course of performing devotional service. Walking through Golden Gate Park, I located a grove of eucalyptus and cut a dozen twigs to the size the devotees had described. On returning to the temple I sprayed the fresh-cut twigs with water, wrapped them in cellophane packing, and shipped them by Special Delivery to New York for Srila Prabhupada's use.
Performing this service eased the feeling of separation. In fact, I found that it increased my attachment to Srila Prabhupada. It was much more satisfying to actively engage in serving him than simply to sit in his room living in memories.
Before leaving, Srila Prabhupada had instructed the brahmacaris to get jobs. Following the example of my Godbrothers, I also went out looking for a job. I soon found employment at the local Kodak film processing factory. It was my duty to walk the stretched-out rolls of film between two walls of electrical heating elements. Though it was the work of an unskilled labourer, it gave me a chance to practice "action in Krsna consciousness." Prabhupada had told us that we must follow the example of Arjuna and engage Srila Prabhupada said in service for Krsna's satisfaction. This was a higher platform of realization than renouncing activity for fear of karmic reaction. Dedicating the results of one's work to Krsna was real devotional service. Because it was free from the desire for fruitive gains, it was better than karma-yoga. And because it engaged all of the senses, it was safer than the platform of mental speculation recommended by the jnanis. Therefore although the job was often boring, I saw it as a challenge to prove the philosophy of the Gita.
While I worked at the factory, my Godbrother Visnujana preferred to be self-employed, making bamboo flutes and selling them to the hippies on Haight Street. Being a musician, he expertly arranged the holes of the flute so that anyone could easily play the Hare Krsna melody. Throughout the day he would dance up and down Haight Street, piping Hare Krsna to the delight of all of the hippies. Occasionally he would sell a flute.
Visnujana philosophized that since he was always playing Hare Krsna, his engagement was of a superior quality to mine. He was performing brahminical activity as opposed to my sudra engagement at the factory. This did not seem fair to me. Had I not taken my job upon Prabhupada's request? How could following Prabhupada's instructions not elevate me to the highest status? But not being very conversant with the philosophy, it was difficult for me to defend my position.
Gargamuni had overheard the conversation. In comparison with ourselves he was a senior devotee, qualified to settle such disputes, having practiced Krsna consciousness for over a year and a half. He explained that both of our services were of equal merit. Though we might be engaged according to our propensities, because we were offering the results to Krsna, we were to be considered as Vaisnavas. Designations like brahmana or sudra were material designations and could not properly describe a devotee, who can do any service if Krsna desires. Gargamuni's learned judgment cleared our neophyte misconception. It was important to have senior Godbrothers who knew the philosophy and could settle such disputes. I was determined to study Srila Prabhupada's books more thoroughly; then one day I would also be able to represent his teachings as nicely as Gargamuni had.
To associate with karmis at the factory and still remain Krsna conscious was not easy. I decided to chant thirty-two rounds each day-sixteen before going to work, and the balance returning to the temple in the evening. The factory allowed for midmorning and midafternoon coffee breaks, so while the workers drank coffee and smoked cigarettes, I would go outside and chant two rounds during each fifteen-minute period.
I especially looked forward to the lunch break. By walking quickly it was possible to reach the nearby park within a few minutes. I would sit on the grass and hold a soft kirtana, accompanying myself by clapping my hands. Closing my eyes made me oblivious to the surrounding office buildings and the pedestrians who walked by. Then, being refreshed by the kirtana, I would offer the foodstuffs that I had brought from the temple or purchased on the way to work. The ceremony was simple, but it provided me with the strength to endure the remainder of the afternoon. I felt proud to be following Prabhupada's instructions. By taking his order seriously I was able to constantly keep his company, and I experienced that between the spiritual master and his instructions there was no difference at all.
Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-Servant of the Servant-The West Coast Days-Becoming Prabhupada's Man-Tamala Krsna Goswami
chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)
Working for Krsna helped me to achieve a spiritual maturity, but financially it was not nearly as rewarding. I was earning only $1.25 per hour, which gave me a total weekly income, after the deduction of taxes, of less than fifty dollars. Visnujana's contribution was hardly better; the hippies were poor, and out of sentiment he ended up giving away most of his flutes for free. The results from the other devotees were not much better either. We had not actually achieved our purpose of helping Jayananda to maintain the temple.
When Srila Prabhupada came to know that we were facing so many difficulties with so little result, he suggested we simply go out on the streets and Srila Prabhupada said hold kirtana instead of taking outside employment. Though this was quite a departure from his previous instruction, we accepted the change with full faith that Prabhupada knew what was best for us. After all, we were not so much attached to the particular instruction as to the instructor. We were surrendered to Prabhupada, and it was his prerogative as our spiritual master to order us as he saw fit. When we discussed Prabhupada's suggestion one evening at the ista-gosthi, everyone was enthusiastic about the new plan. A decision was made to organize a sankirtana party. At first, Visnujana was proposed as the leader because he was the best musician and singer. But I voiced my protest that his attention should not be diverted from leading the kirtana, that I would manage the party instead. The devotees liked this proposal, and I immediately asked for volunteers to go out the next day on the first sankirtana party.
The intersection of Market and Powell was the busiest in downtown San Francisco. I signaled Visnujana to begin the kirtana. Mukunda played the mrdanga, Visnujana strummed a large tambura, and Muralidhara, Yamuna, and I all played karatalas. We began by chanting the prayers to Srila Prabhupada, then the Panca-tattva mantra to Lord Caitanya and His associates, and finally Hare Krsna, all the while swaying to and fro, just as we did in the temple. But holding kirtana on a busy street corner was quite a different experience from chanting in the privacy of our temple. The horns of midafternoon traffic, along with the sounds from a nearby construction site and a myriad of other noises, produced a loud cacophony which our small kirtana party could hardly compete with. Neither were the crowds that surrounded us the same as the sympathetic hippies who frequented our Haight-Ashbury temple. Only by remembering Prabhupada's order did we have the strength to persevere under these trying circumstances.
For most of the public it was the first time they had ever seen devotees. As we performed kirtana, there was a constant crowd who surrounded us, enjoying this new experience. I was wishing that there was a way they could participate, when Krsna inspired me to take the conchshell that I was occasionally blowing and move among them to ask for donations. My previous experience as a newspaper hawker helped me to circulate among the crowd, and soon the conchshell filled up with coins, and all those who made an offering received a Back to Godhead magazine. Throughout the day we travelled to other locations as well, until gradually, by late afternoon we reached Haight Street, and then the temple.
We were in ecstasy! Our first public sankirtana performance had been a great success, and we felt purified by hours of continuous kirtana. I thought this was certainly much nicer than working in a factory. Besides, Krsna had been so kind that without any separate endeavour He had arranged for us to earn twelve dollars from the collections and the distribution of magazines. In the days that followed we established a regular route for our kirtana party, and we increased our literature sales to forty dollars a day.
Taking Krsna consciousness outside the temple was exciting. Working at the factory had been personally rewarding, but preaching activities meant that so many others could also share the benefits. I appreciated Prabhupada's wisdom in offering us this new plan for city sankirtana. He would be pleased to hear how we had carried out his instructions. By his suggestion we had given up our jobs to attempt direct preaching. As the sankirtana leader, I was acting as his representative, and it was my duty to seek his approval for our activities. Perhaps he would have further instructions for us.
Writing letters had never been difficult, but to write a letter to one's spiritual master required due consideration. A letter to a friend or family member could be casual, but informality in dealings with one's spiritual master could be offensive. Besides, I did not think it proper to waste his time writing of my own personal feelings. I decided it would be easier and more appropriate to write a factual report of our activities day by day. My letter became a journal, recording the names of the devotees in the party, where we had chanted, and each day's collection and literature distribution. After some time I received my first letter from Srila Prabhupada.
chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)
Srila Prabhupada said:
Montreal, Quebec, July 16th 1968
My Dear Tamal Krishna,
Please accept my blessings. I am so glad to receive your letter dated July 12th 1968 with the notes of your successful performances of city Kirtan movement and it is a very good plan. I think we should not be worried about our expenditure, Krishna has given us good opportunity of service, and if we simply execute the service, by such performances of Kirtan and practice ourselves the rules and regulations rigidly and with faith in Krishna and service to the orders of the bonafide Spiritual Master, then there will be no scarcity of our necessities of life, and very pleasantly we will be able to execute our Krishna conscious activities without any anxiety for financial difficulties.
Actually everything belongs to Krishna, and if He likes, He can immediately give us the whole U.S.A., but He is very cautious because we are prone to the allurement of maya, so He does not give us all of a sudden all the facilities, lest we may fall prey to the illusory presentations of maya. Just like a physician does not give delicacies to a suffering patient, but as he recovers from the disease, the physician allows him to accept palatable dishes. So we have to wait for the cure of our material diseases, and proportionately as we become recovered from the disease, the supplies of pleasant things will automatically come. But we must always know that there is nothing more pleasant than Hare Krishna. When we will be able to relish the transcendental pleasure, in chanting Hare Krishna, that will be the sign of our recovery from material diseases. Please continue the method in co-operation, very faithfully and diligently, and Krishna will help you more and more. Hope you are all well.
Your ever well-wisher,
A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami
chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)
Prabhupada's reply was entirely different from the letter I had written. I had sent a factual report rather than an expression of my individual feelings, but Prabhupada's reply indicated that he was not as much concerned with statistics as with my personal spiritual development. I had thought that our temple was facing financial difficulties and that Prabhupada would be pleased to know that these seemed to be solved with the introduction of daily sankirtana. But Prabhupada had immediately clarified the issue: money was not the problem; in fact, if Krsna wanted Srila Prabhupada said, He could give us the entire U.S.A.! The real concern was for the recovery of our lost Krsna consciousness. As long as we were still attracted to sense gratification, we could not expect to enjoy Krsna's trust. But if we chanted Hare Krsna regularly, strictly following the rules and regulations and keeping full faith in the spiritual master and Krsna, our dormant Krsna consciousness would be revived. Proportionate to our recovery from maya's allurement, Krsna would supply us the necessary facilities, just as a physician gradually allows a recovering patient to resume his normal diet.
Prabhupada was not anxious about the money we were collecting. His first concern was that we relish the chanting of Hare Krsna. When we became Krsna conscious, the money would automatically be there. In my neophyte condition, the material world appeared like a vast ocean tossing the tiny boatload of helpless devotees in her mighty waves. But Prabhupada described the situation from Krsna's angle of vision. Maya and the living entities were both Krsna's energies. As the supreme energetic personality, Krsna has full control over all of His energies. The Lord is very eager to associate with the part-and-parcel living entities, who are actually of the same spiritual nature as the Lord, and it is only to awaken the conditioned souls to their original consciousness that the Lord temporarily allows them to suffer in maya's kingdom. At any moment, upon her master's command, maya is prepared to release the living entity, and even to provide him with all facilities, once he agrees to use them in the service of her master. For the Supreme Lord, entire universes are like tiny mustard seeds held within His hands. The U.S.A., or any part of the material creation, is always under His control, and it is only due to the influence of His illusory energy that it appears to be otherwise.
By instructing me in this matter, Prabhupada had acted in the position of Krsna. The Supreme Lord instructs a sincere devotee from within his heart as the caittya-guru, and from without He teaches as the bona fide spiritual master. As the direct manifestation of the Lord, the guru knows exactly how to free his disciple from the entanglement of material existence. The spiritual master knows thoroughly the heart of his disciple and always endeavours to help the disciple cleanse his heart and make it a fit place for Krsna to reside. His first duty is to bring his disciple's attention away from maya and toward Krsna. The conditioned soul has all faith in the external energy, but Krsna's instructions received through the disciplic succession create the faith required to turn away from maya and instead depend on the spiritual energy of the Lord. To engage in Krsna's service is our natural propensity, and once this service attitude is revived, it becomes very easy for the spiritual master and the Lord to give further instructions.
As we continued the performance of our city kirtana movement, we received inspiration for making our preaching more effective. It did not matter that Srila Prabhupada was away in another city. He was pleased with our attempt to propagate sankirtana on his behalf. This was Lord Caitanya's desire-to see His Holy Name glorified in every town and village.
We were inspired to improve our sankirtana party by making it more attractive. We made beautiful wooden frames for two large posters of Srila Prabhupada and of Gopala Krsna embracing a calf, and these we fixed onto six-foot poles. Now, wherever we went it was easy to remember our spiritual master and Krsna. The framed portraits became our worshipable deities, before whom we offered incense and sang and danced. And of course, we presented them to the public, explaining who Srila Prabhupada was and why he had come to America. As for the poster of Krsna, it was the first time the public had ever seen a picture of the Supreme Personality of Godhead.
We also improved our personal appearance. I purchased yellow turtleneck shirts with matching dhotis for all the men. Each day before the sankirtana party would depart, like a military sergeant I would review all the devotees who stood in line for inspection. Their tilaka would have to be perfect, their clothes neatly pressed. After all, we were representing the Supreme Lord and His pure devotees; people should not have the impression that we were simply a group of hippies. By daily practice, our singing also became sweeter and our dancing more graceful. The public quickly appreciated our efforts, and those who had seen us more than once would call out "Hare Krsna!" when we appeared. After a few weeks we knew the best places to hold kirtana and at what time of day we could expect maximum exposure, and on off hours I would drive around the city to find new and better places for chanting. We also worked at improving the sale of Back to Godhead magazine and supplemented it with free distribution of attractively printed mantra cards, which we offered as personal invitations to our temple.
Previously, only a few fortunate persons who visited the temple had the opportunity to meet the devotees, but now, through sankirtana, tens of thousands of persons felt the soothing rain of Lord Caitanya's mercy. This was all due to the mercy of our spiritual master. By his strong desire and personal example he was inspiring us to assume the role of preachers. Though we might not ourselves feel compassion to relieve the suffering of the conditioned souls, Prabhupada did. It was only by his order that we were now empowered to go forth and offer Krsna's mercy to others. By encouraging us to deliver Krsna consciousness to the conditioned souls, Prabhupada was allowing us to share in the most confidential service of the Lord. We bad no understanding of Krsna's desire, but by following Prabhupada's instructions we became the recipients of Lord Caitanya's blessings, and as a result, our hearts became softened, purified by the sankirtana-yajna.
The transcendental effect of devotional service has been nicely described by Srila Prabhupada in a purport to his Bhagavad Gita As It Is. "When a diamond is set in a golden ring, it looks very nice. The gold is glorified, and at the same time the diamond is glorified. The Lord and the living entity eternally glitter, and when a living entity becomes inclined to the service of the Supreme Lord, he looks like gold. The Lord is a diamond, and so this combination is very nice" Srila Prabhupada said. A living entity in the conditioned state is compared to bell metal. There is an alchemical process by which one can add mercury to bell metal and turn it into gold. Srila Prabhupada was a transcendental alchemist. His order to perform sankirtana acted like a powerful catalyst, cleansing our hearts and gradually transforming them into unalloyed gold.
chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)
Four months had passed since Prabhupada had left San Francisco for the East Coast. At the time, I had just been initiated and had barely understood our relationship. But the separation had been beneficial, just as the devotees had explained it would. I had learned that through devotional service I could remain connected with my spiritual master; keeping Prabhupada's instructions always in mind made his absence tolerable. But in spite of this, I still wanted to see him sitting again on his vyasasana, to walk with him at Stowe Lake, and to have him personally instruct me in Krsna consciousness. And I wanted him to see our sankirtana party, how nicely we had trained ourselves to represent him. Thinking in this way made me long for his return. I decided to write a second letter.
I expressed my feeling of appreciation for all that Srila Prabhupada had given me. I thanked him for delivering me. I praised his transcendental qualities and prayed that the people of the world could be blessed by taking shelter of his divine lotus feet. And I praised his devotees, Mukunda, Guru dasa, Syamasundara, and their wives. They had been instrumental in helping me to advance in Krsna consciousness. Now, on Prabhupada's instruction, they had gone to London to establish our movement there. I appreciated how each of their qualities was simply a reflection of Srila Prabhupada's unlimited perfect qualities. I expressed my feelings very openly, without the inhibitions of my previous letter, understanding that the sentiments I felt were only possible by Prabhupada's causeless mercy.
I was not in San Francisco to receive Srila Prabhupada's reply. Because I had led the sankirtana party to Los Angeles on our first traveling expedition, Prabhupada's second letter was read to me over the telephone by Jayananda Prabhu.
Srila Prabhupada said:
Montreal, Quebec, August 19th 1968
My Dear Tamal Krishna,
Please accept my blessings. I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated August 13th 1968, and noted the contents with so much happiness. I am glad to see in your letter indication that within very short time, you have been entrapped by Lord Krishna's Grace and you have expressed your transcendental feelings in such a nice way, that I cannot but admire your capacity to grasp so quickly about the whole philosophy and I must pray to Lord Krishna for your more and more advancement in Krishna Consciousness, and be happy and successful even within this very life. That is my ardent desire.
The Krishna Consciousness is certainly the need for the western countries; I think timely I have come to your country, and if the younger generation like you will cooperate with me, I am certain this movement will give the western youngsters a transcendental gift which will be recorded in the progress of history. I am so much grateful to you and other devotees of the Krishna Consciousness society that it gives me a great pride that Krishna has given me association of such nice boys. So far the nectarine of Krishna Consciousness is concerned, it is actually the thirst-quenching element of the dry material advancement. One Vaishnava poet, has sung so nicely, that this material world is just like a desert, and to cover the desert oceans of water are required. But if somebody tries to water the desert of our heart with such seemingly water, namely, the association which was aspired by Mr Alexander Shellkirk, I think you have this poetry, an English poetry which we read in our childhood in India, that one Mr Alexander Shellkirk, he is lamenting, he was thrown in isolated island, that society, friendship and love, divinely bestowed upon man. This is of course true. The society, friendship and love as we materially experience have got some fascination, but such fascination is compared by the poet Vidyapati as a drop of water of the ocean. His purport of singing is that, My dear Lord, this drop of water which we derive from the association of society, friendship, and love, what it can do in the desert of my heart? But unfortunately, I am attached to this drop of water only and have forgotten You. Therefore my future is very much hopeless, and I am seeking You, My Master, as the only solution. So this is the process. The material advancement cannot give actual happiness to the people and the Krishna Consciousness movement will surely quench the parched throat of all materialistic persons, if they are properly administered under the guidance of disciplic succession of previous acharyas, beginning from Lord Chaitanya intermediated by the Goswamins, and followed by us. So my request to you is that you are doing very nicely, I have heard from other students that your attempt to spread Krishna Consciousness movement in San Francisco is very laudable, please continue your energy in that way.
About my coming to San Francisco, I have already written to Jayananda. I am always hankering after going there, but because there are some other programs, immediately, so please ask all the devotees on my behalf to wait and in the meantime, enjoy chanting Hare Krishna. The chanting Hare Krishna is our main business, that is real initiation. And as you are all following my instructions, in that matter, the initiator is already there. Now the next initiation will be performed as a ceremony officially, of course that ceremony has value because the name, Holy Name, will be delivered to the student from the disciplic succession, it has got value, but in spite of that, as you are going on chanting, please go on with this business sincerely and Krishna willing, I may be coming to you very soon. I have already written to Jayananda about this, so don't be impatient. Pray to Krishna that I may meet you very soon.
Regarding the devotees headed by Mukunda and Shyamsundar, who are going to London, they are starting today for New York, and from there they will go to London. One boy from here, Shivananda, he has already gone to Europe, probably Krishna has desired that we should introduce this movement in Europe also, maybe we may require many hands, devotees who are being trained in USA, to go to all other parts of European countries. Your appreciation for the service of your Godbrothers is very much laudable. This is actually a devotee's business that everyone should appreciate the value of other devotees. Nobody should criticize anyone. Because everyone is engaged in the service of the Lord, according to one's capacity, and the thing is, Krishna wants to see how much one is sincere in rendering Him service. Materially we may think that his service is greater than his, that is our material vision. Actually on the spiritual platform, the service rendered by a calf to Krishna and service rendered by Radharani and Her Associates to Krishna, there is no difference. Krishna is so kind and liberal that everyone's service, when it is sincerely offered to Krishna, He accepts. This is a statement in the Bhagavad Gita. That He accepts a little bit of flower, fruit, and water, offered to Him in devotion and love. He wants our love and devotion, otherwise, He is the Proprietor of everything, what can we give Him? This position of our subordination should always be maintained and we should always give respect to our pure devotees who are engaged, in devotional service, that will make us able to make a progressive march in the devotional line.
Thanking you once more, for your very nice letter, and hope you are well there.
Your ever well-wisher,
A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami
P.S. Please find out my stationery somewhere in the basement kept by Upendra and send them here. Inform Jayananda that I have received his check for $75. ACB
chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)
When Jayananda concluded reading, he was full of praise for my good fortune in having received such a merciful letter from Srila Prabhupada. He told me he also had gotten a letter. Srila Prabhupada would be arriving in San Francisco. And Jayananda requested that we should return as soon as possible. I assured Jayananda that we would perform sankirtana in Los Angeles for only a few more days and then immediately come back.
Jayananda Prabhu's statement that I was especially fortunate was indeed correct. The Krsna consciousness movement will spread all over the world by the desire of Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu, and the only question is regarding who will come forward to take the credit. When I first joined the temple, apart from the daily lunch program there was very little preaching activity. Then Prabhupada had given the idea to perform street sankirtana. This potent instruction was heard by all the devotees at that time, and somehow this instruction found reception within me, and with faith I began to serve it. It was not that I had some special qualification; it was Krsna who gave me the intelligence to expand upon this seed idea. But what I did have was firm faith in this order given by my spiritual master. There are many instructions received from the spiritual master, but of all of them the most essential is the order to preach. Anyone who takes this order very seriously will be empowered by Lord Caitanya and the disciplic succession to accomplish wonderful activities, far beyond his capacity. Though we may be limited, Krsna is unlimited. Therefore if we become connected to the Unlimited by the mercy of the spiritual master, there is no limit to what we may do in the service of the Lord.
Jayananda forwarded the letter to me, and I got the opportunity to study it first-hand. I was astonished by Srila Prabhupada's humility in expressing his gratitude to Krsna for giving him our association. Prabhupada seemed to indicate that it was he who was benefiting by our association, when in fact it was quite the opposite. This is the symptom of a great devotee. He sees everyone else's service as excellent and laments his own inability to offer anything valuable to Krsna, never thinking himself worthy of Krsna's mercy. When the Lord blesses him, he feels himself most undeserving, and if by chance some misfortune befalls him, he sees Krsna's hand at work, thinking that due to his sinfulness he deserved far worse. Although his activities have such great benefit for all mankind, he accepts no praise or recognition for himself, for his only interest is in giving pleasure to Krsna. Such a humble person is rarely to be found in this world.
In his youth, while he was at school, Prabhupada had studied the works of the English poet Alexander Shellkirk. In one of his poems Shellkirk, having been cast away on an isolated island, laments the loss of society, friendship, and love. Actually, everyone in the material world feels lonely, whether they are on an isolated island or in the midst of a bustling metropolitan city. No one is able to find complete satisfaction in any of their relationships, al-though they make all efforts in this regard. The conditioned soul, hoping in vain to one day find a true friend or perfect lover, eventually dies an unhappy death following repeated disappointments. Yet again he revives such fruitless aspirations in his next birth. Such illusory feelings have often been glorified by poets like Shellkirk, who describe these mistaken sentiments as "noble human emotions." But such efforts, although perhaps praise-worthy from a literary point of view, are seen by a Krsna conscious person as misdirected.
The great Vaisnavas poet Vidyapati compares the loneliness of the heart to a parched desert; society, friendship, and love he compares to a mere drop of water. Vidyapati asks, What can one drop of water do for watering the dry desert of our heart? To cover the desert requires oceans of water. He does not believe that any substantial relief will come from society, friendship, and love, for as a learned transcendentalist he sees these as flickering hallucinations, which appear within each lifetime only to disappear at the time of death. However, Vidyapati wisely admits that this drop of water, being a reflection of the unlimited ocean, does have some fascination. Attracted by such drops of water-the association of society, friendship, and love-the whole world is kept in illusion. This is the great potency of Krsna's material energy, maya. Because she is one of the Lord's main energies, she is able to bewilder all of the conditioned souls by her powerful influence. Vidyapati therefore prays to Krsna, the master of maya, to relieve the burning fire of material existence by inundating the dry desert of his heart with a flood of mercy.
Krsna is the supreme reality, the true friend and perfect lover we are all searching after, and the Krsna consciousness movement, as the manifestation of Krsna in this world, is the only shelter and relief for the conditioned souls. Prabhupada could understand that I had begun to appreciate the great transcendental benefit of Krsna consciousness. He was therefore encouraging me to clearly distinguish this divine benediction from the illusion of mundane relationships by citing the versions of Vidyapati and Shellkirk. As the spiritual master see the disciple making advancement, he helps to sever the knots of material attachment by dispelling his ignorance with the torchlight of knowledge.
Significantly, Prabhupada ended this long comparison of the two poets by urging me to continue to utilize my energy for sankirtana. I understood by this that it was through sankirtana that my proper intelligence and taste for Krsna consciousness would continue to develop. This sankirtana movement was Lord Caitanya's special benediction for the fallen souls of the Kali-yuga, and by the grace of Srila Prabhupada, by engaging in it I was becoming a fortunate recipient of Lord Caitanya's causeless mercy.
Prabhupada had again instructed me to enjoy chanting the Hare Krsna mantra, which Srila Prabhupada said is "our main business." This I was doing. Including japa, kirtanas, and sankirtana, I was chanting or hearing the Hare Krsna mantra at least eight to ten hours each day. Prabhupada advised that I continue chanting, and Krsna willing, he would return to San Francisco very shortly. He wrote that he was "always hankering" for coming to San Francisco.
I could understand by this that not only do the disciples miss their spiritual master, but the spiritual master also intensely feels the separation of his disciples. Being ever concerned with their eternal well-being, he desires always to be reunited with them.
I felt especially pleased that Prabhupada was engaging me in some menial service by asking me to send his stationery, which had been left behind after his last visit. Although this was not as significant an instruction as his order to engage in sankirtana, nevertheless, it was an intimate service which I found particularly relishable, and I hoped for the opportunity to perform more such personal services along with my regular duties. Krsna consciousness was satisfying in so many respects. Our movement was growing, and now Prabhupada was dispatching devotees to Europe, indicating that Krsna might desire that many devotees follow them into all parts of the European countries. To be a part of such a momentous movement was very exciting. As Prabhupada stated, the goal of our Krsna consciousness movement was "to be recorded in the progress of history for having saved the world."
chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)
On his arrival at the San Francisco airport, Prabhupada was greeted by all the devotees, who then brought him back to the temple, where they were able to offer him a more intimate reception. First there was a big kirtana, and afterward Srila Prabhupada spoke in a very personal way, just like a father returning to his dependent children after a long absence. There was a complete stillness in the temple room as everyone listened with great satisfaction while Prabhupada spoke to them after so many months of separation. The devotees were happy to once again have the object of their devotion in their midst.
Prabhupada was covered by many garlands given to him by the devotees, and now he wanted to distribute them. He called for Jayananda, the temple president, and then for two other leaders, thanking them for the service they had rendered while he was away. Suddenly one of the devotees nudged me with his elbow and said, "Go up. Prabhupada is calling you." I was so surprised; I could not imagine that Prabhupada had singled me out. As Prabhupada placed a long rose-and-gardenia garland around my neck, he smiled very mercifully and thanked me for organizing the sankirtana party.
Anyone who wished to could have a private darsana with Srila Prabhupada. Devotees would approach Govinda dasi, Prabhupada's secretary, who arranged Prabhupada's morning schedule into continuous half-hour meetings with his disciples. Though I had not made any special request, the day after his arrival Srila Prabhupada called me to his residence. The devotees had rented a different apartment from the one Prabhupada had occupied during his previous visit. It was located on Ashbury Street, just around the corner from Haight Street, and was at the very heart of the Haight-Ashbury district and immediately across the street from the residence of the well-known rock group The Grateful Dead.
I had never been alone with Srila Prabhupada before. I was careful to be on time and in fact had come a little early. I was curious as to why Prabhupada had called for me. What would be the proper way for me to act now that we would be alone, without any other devotees present? Should I have some questions ready to ask, or would Prabhupada begin by speaking to me? I thought of Srimad-Bhagavatam; the sages of Naimisaranya had placed many relevant inquiries before the learned spiritual master Srila Suta Gosvami. They had been eager to hear the message of Godhead from a great self-realized personality, and although they were all highly elevated souls, they nevertheless maintained a submissive, receptive attitude when they approached their spiritual master. And because both the speaker and the hearer were bona fide, the Absolute Truth had been properly transmitted. Srila Prabhupada was in the line of Srila Suta Gosvami, so I realized that his purpose for calling me must be of the upmost importance, especially meant for my advancement in Krsna consciousness. I decided that rather than trying to anticipate Prabhupada's purpose or composing questions artificially, it would be best to simply offer myself in full surrender and await Prabhupada's instructions.
Lilavati dasi came out of Prabhupada's room. Now it was my turn. I entered, and while I offered my prostrated obeisances, Srila Prabhupada began to speak: "I am very glad to see how nicely you have managed the preaching work. I want you to go on managing for our Society. Krsna has given you this ability to organize, so please use it for organizing ISKCON." Prabhupada sat charmingly behind his desk. He had an effulgent smile, and the fragrance of his garland filled the entire room with a very sweet aroma. I marvelled how, at the very outset of our meeting, Prabhupada immediately seized upon a slight ability which I had demonstrated and was now encouraging me to dedicate my life in this direction. It was true that in the past, as a schoolboy, I had always taken a leading role with my friends. But as I grew older I had become more withdrawn. It was only after joining the temple that this quality of leadership had again manifested itself. Prabhupada continued describing how Krsna is the ability in man. Whatever exceptional ability we have is God-given and should be employed in God's service. Then it becomes transcendental and acts for our liberation. We should not necessarily think that whatever we did in the past has no value, but whatever we now have in our possession or whatever talents or knowledge we have acquired can become our asset if they are employed in Krsna's service.
Prabhupada explained at length the importance of the Krsna consciousness movement. He described the material world and how people were suffering. Except for the welfare work which we were offering, there was no other real solution to the world's dilemmas. Was I convinced of this? he wanted to know. I replied that I was becoming more convinced every day, especially by going out on sankirtana. Prabhupada seemed to like this answer very much and began to glorify the mercy of Lord Caitanya for introducing the sankirtana-yajna.
I listened with rapt attention as Srila Prabhupada spoke. After five months of devotional service, I was no longer merely an observer watching Prabhupada reciprocate with his older disciples. From his encouraging words I sensed that he now considered me one of his men who had taken the responsibility for assisting him in preaching Krsna consciousness.
"Have you decided whether to remain a brahmacari?" The question took me by surprise.
Suddenly the door of Prabhupada's room opened slightly, enough for Govinda dasi to whisper that my time was up. "Who is that hiding there?" Prabhupada enquired. No longer able to conceal herself, Govinda dasi now walked in. "It's time for the next devotee," she announced. "All right," Srila Prabhupada said, "you may go now. Tomorrow you can come again at the same time." As I rose to leave, Prabhupada gave me the garland that he was wearing.
chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)
Walking down Haight Street toward the temple I was oblivious to the surrounding crowds of people and traffic. All I could think of was Srila Prabhupada and the encouraging words be had spoken. The fragrance emanating from Prabhupada's garland and the soft petals of its flowers reminded me of Prabhupada's transcendental personality.
The next day Cidananda dasa accompanied me to see Srila Prabhupada. Prabhupada asked if I had yet decided about remaining a brahmacari. "Yes, I have discussed it with some of the other brahmacaris, and I don't think I will get married."
"Very good! Because marriage means seventy-five percent chance that you will not go back to Godhead." Prabhupada then began to describe the advantages of celibacy. By avoiding sex life one's intelligence becomes stronger, the memory sharper, and one increases one's life-span. A brahmacari avoids so much unnecessary botheration due to having to maintain a wife and children. Attraction for the opposite sex is the root cause of material existence. In his Bhagavad Gita purports Prabhupada explains, "The highest pleasure in terms of matter is sex pleasure. The whole world is moving under its spell, and the materialist cannot work at all without this motivation. But a person engaged m Krsna consciousness can work with greater vigour without sex pleasure, which he avoids. That is the test in spiritual life. Spiritual realization and sex pleasure go ill together." While the bhakti process permits controlled sex through responsible householder life, it is better if one can avoid the problem altogether.
Srila Prabhupada advised that I pray to Lord Caitanya and Radha-Krsna to remove this sex desire. He then cited the example of Yamunacarya, who would spit at the mere thought of sex pleasure. Prabhupada concluded. "I am very glad that you have made this decision. It is the right decision!"
In the days that followed. Srila Prabhupada called me to his apartment regularly, to cement my permanent commitment to Krsna consciousness. These meetings were very important for me. Srila Prabhupada was personally training me, preparing me to assume further responsibilities, and I felt very blessed that he was so kindly disposed toward me. In addition, in the eyes of the other devotees, this special attention from Prabhupada elevated me to a position of leadership.
Prabhupada had not yet seen our sankirtana party perform. Early one evening, before the scheduled temple program, I decided to take the party to Prabhupada's house. Some new men had joined, so our party now consisted of eight. We formed two lines, one on each side of the door which Prabhupada would exit through before entering his car. Dressed in our bright saffron dhotis and turtlenecks, we looked like a spiritual military guard ready to greet our commander in chief. The kirtana became more and more ecstatic as the moment approached for His Divine Grace to descend. Then suddenly the door opened, and Srila Prabhupada appeared, inspecting his sankirtana party for the first time. He lifted his arms and moved to and fro, dancing to the kirtana. The devotees were so excited that they completely forgot about the two lines and instead jumped up and down, circling Prabhupada and chanting Hare Krsna as he moved toward his car. As the car began to pull away, we did not stop; we raced, instruments in hand, along several blocks to the temple, just in time to again greet Prabhupada as he alighted from the vehicle. This time he seemed even more pleased and laughed, chanted, and danced with us. How enthusiastic he was to reciprocate our great joy in offering kirtana for his pleasure! From that moment on we felt that we had become Prabhupada's personal sankirtana party, and he also accepted us in that way. Later, when it came time for Prabhupada to travel to Seattle, where a new temple had been opened, he re-quested that we accompany him. If possible, Srila Prabhupada said, we should continue to travel along wherever he went. And when Jayananda Prabhu sought permission to give up his post as temple president and become the driver of our sankirtana van, Prabhupada consented, stating that any position on the sankirtana party should always be given priority over all other engagements.
Although Prabhupada had given San Francisco the name New Jagannatha Puri, the standard of worship offered to Lord Jagannatha there was still very meager. The deities stood bare, without dresses, their colourful painted forms completely exposed. Neither was there any bathing ceremony nor the other normal items of worship. Prabhupada knew that it would not be possible to immediately introduce the complicated system of puja followed in the strict Vaisnava temples in India-it was all his American disciples could do to make a few offerings of dhupa and bhoga and to chant Hare Krsna-but he had every intention of elevating his disciples to the proper platform. With this in mind, while on the East Coast he had offered some of the senior devotees second initiation, because it was through this second birth that the third birth, called yajnika-janma, would be attained, and one would be able to worship Lord Visnu properly.
Srila Prabhupada considered those of his students who were a little advanced in chanting Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare/ Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare to be worthy of second initiation. In addition, he looked to see those who were becoming fixed up in their service. Srila Prabhupada said that a steady service attitude indicated that the chanting had matured with proper realization and the devotee was now ready to receive the Gayatri mantra. The Vedic literatures explain that the sound vibration which elevates one from mental concoction is called Gayatri. The kama-gayatri mantra, which is the last of the seven mantras given at the time of second initiation, is nondifferent from Krsna Himself. It was first received by Lord Brahma as the sound vibration of Krsna's flute, and when it became expressed through the mouth of Brahma it became Gayatri. Thus Brahma, the first living entity within this world, was initiated as a brahmana by the Supreme Lord Himself, and being enlightened by the Gayatri mantra, Brahma attained all Vedic knowledge. Since that time, devotees in disciplic succession have always been offered this second initiation, signifying that the disciple has attained fully to the brahminical platform.
chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)
Srila Prabhupada held brahmana initiations on two consecutive evenings. In a letter to one of his disciples he wrote, "We have just given Gayatri to Jayananda, Tamal Krishna, old students like that." Though it was only six months from the time I had first joined and received initiation, that was long enough to be considered an "old student" in a movement still in its infancy. At the fire sacrifice Prabhupada chanted the Gayatri individually to each brahmana, but he also gave the mantra in writing to help his Western disciples, who were unfamiliar with the Sanskrit language. Morning, noon, and night the new initiates could be seen silently murmuring the mantra, which they read from their typed sheets of paper.
To correctly pronounce the Vedic hymns was not easy. Jayananda in particular was having difficulty with the pronunciation, and when he requested an appointment to see Srila Prabhupada, I took the opportunity to go along with him. Jayananda explained his problem. Srila Prabhupada asked him to chant the mantras and Srila Prabhupada said that he would correct any mistakes in the pronunciation. But before Jayananda had completed even the first mantra, Prabhupada leaned back in his seat and started laughing. "It is hopeless. You boys will never be able to speak in Sanskrit. But it does not matter, because your feelings are genuine and Krsna is accepting. Go on doing it; never mind." And Prabhupada laughed again, not even bothering to correct Jayananda's awful pronunciation.
Prabhupada's approval of Jayananda's inept attempt is significant. Nowhere in Bhagavad Gita do we find any mention of Sanskrit as a necessary requirement for brahminical status. Rather, the qualities of a brahmana stated by Krsna are,
samo damas tapah saucam
ksantir arjavam eva ca
jnanam vijnanam astikyam
brahma-karma svabhava-jam
"Peacefulness, self-control, austerity, purity, tolerance, honesty, wisdom, knowledge, and religiousness-these are the qualities by which the brahmanas work." (Bhagavad Gita: 18:42)