srila prabhupada said...!!!

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

Prabhupada had some more sweet lemon juice this morning.  He was coughing more than usual.  We tried sitting him up to prevent the coughing, but he complained of pain around his seat.  He had a sore there, which was painful when he sat up.

Lokanatha Swami came in the morning and described how they were distributing a lot of Prabhupada's books, Hindi, and a few Bengali.

About noontime, Dr Ghosh from Kodaikanal arrived. He came in and looked quite shocked to see Prabhupada's condition.  Prabhupada didn't speak anything.  When he went out, Prabhupada called me and  asked who had called Dr Ghosh.  I said that I had not, but that it must have been one of Hamsaduta Swami's men acting on his own. Prabhupada had already rejected the doctor's treatment last June, so for him to come and see Prabhupada now was a botheration for Prabhupada. However, now that he was being called here, Prabhupada was forced to see him so that the man was not offended.

Dr Ghosh from Allahabad was also discussed and Srila Prabhupada said a man should be sent to see him.  He wanted Prabhupada to go into a nursing clinic, which  Prabhupada absolutely rejected.  However, he was willing to receive some personal treatment.  Later, about 2:30 p.m., Prabhupada suggested to try by telephone first as it might be quicker.  Eventually Lokanatha Swami left by train.

In the meantime, Jayapataka Swami had come at around 1:00 p.m.  He gave Prabhupada a report on Mayapur and of the centers.  He mentioned that now the Muslims wanted to settle things.  They asked us to drop charges against them and give them their jobs back.  Of course, we were not doing that.  Srila Prabhupada said it was between the government and them, and we could not drop charges.

Jayapataka Swami mentioned that there was an astrologer in Mayapur who had read Prabhupada's horoscope to Bhavananda along with all of our Society's leaders about two weeks ago.  This man said that Prabhupada was a kind of avatara especially empowered by God so that he was free to choose whether to come or go.

As far as his future predictions went, he said that Prabhupada's present illness would go by November 28^th when Venus entered another house, that he would take another month to recuperate, and that there would be no further illness for seven years.  Prabhupada didn't comment.  He spent most of the afternoon sitting up, although he had a sore, because as soon as he lay down, he filled up with cough.

I asked Srila Prabhupada if he would like to drink anything and he replied, "Let me drink harinama abhilasa."  Hari-sauri said, "That is the sweetest nectar."  Hamsaduta Maharaja sang sweetly for Prabhupada.

Prabhupada's sister Pisima arrived from Calcutta with her son.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 12^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

In the morning Prabhupada called for Bhakti-Caru Maharaja and told him to take care of Pisima and her son.  When Bhakti-Caru mentioned that Lokanatha Maharaja had gone to get Dr Ghosh of Allahabad, Srila Prabhupada said it was not really necessary but that there was no harm.  Kirtanananda Maharaja was very much counting on Dr Ghosh to take a strong stand in requesting Prabhupada to take medical help and perhaps hospitalization.  But from experience that would seem unlikely.

Prabhupada called for Jayapataka Swami and asked, "So often there are difficulties [in Mayapur].  You are not disappointed?"  Jayapataka explained that some of the attackers continued their violent activities, and now the authorities were beginning to feel they were a disturbance.

Prabhupada:  Yes, they are gundas.

Jayapataka Maharaja: You gave me the name Jayapataka.  I hope that name comes true, that there will be victory.

Prabhupada: It has already become so.  The land next to the big building, how much the Muhammadan wants to sell to us for?

Jayapataka Maharaja explained that due to the incident no outsiders wanted to purchase anymore, so the man was forced to reduce his price.

Prabhupada: If he comes to three thousand rupees, purchase it.  My idea is on that land we shall dig another moat long and wide.  Dig the earth and make it like a lake.  It will be like a small canal.

Bhavananda Maharaja: Then no one will be able to attack.  After the incident I was feeling a little disturbed how this could happen to Prabhupada's project.  Now I am feeling better.

Two telegrams arrived.  One was from Madhava Maharaja in Chandigarh, praying to Bhaktisiddhanta and Gaura Krsna for Prabhupada.  Prabhupada immediately had a telegram sent reading: "Thank you.  Excuse my offenses all Godbrothers."  Prabhupada is so humble, and he is always asking forgiveness to anyone he meets.

I showed Srila Prabhupada two Krsna trilogies, printed in Portuguese by Hrdayananda Maharaja.  Prabhupada thanked him:  "This is life.  Very nice.  The selling will go on.  This is life.  Life is not contained within bones and stool.  Our real concern is the living force. Apareyam and jiva bhutam. The living force which is sustaining the bones.  There is a science by which you can sustain life only through bones.  Hiranyakasipu also did it.  So take care of the bones as far as possible.  Real life is here.

"Always remember this.  Medical science says life is bones, flesh and stool.  They have no idea.  Apareyam-not useless-inferior.  Real [life] jiva bhuta. Print books.  I have given in my will.  Half print and half spend as you like.  Whatever English books we have, translate into all languages.  We have got enough stock.  Thank you very much.  Hare Krsna.  Chant Hare Krsna."

Prabhupada called for his sister and spoke in Bengali.

Prabhupada (to his sister): Sometime in past I heard you were not allowed in the room.  So if there is any offense, I want you to forgive me.  (Then to Bhakti-Caru Maharaja who was standing there) Apart from being my sister, she is my Godsister.  She took harinama diksa from Bhaktisiddhanta.  If we make offense upon any Vaisnava, it is not good.  So please ask her to forgive me.  I am only taking juice, but I would like to eat something.  What?  Today I am going to eat something, solid food.  It doesn't matter whether it does good to me or bad to me.  Nothing can be worse than this.  She is a Vaisnavi, it will be good for me.

Probably I became a little puffed up of my opulence and success.  Now God has shattered that pride-If you don't have your body, then what's there to be puffed-up of?

Bhakti-Caru Maharaja: Srila Prabhupada, whatever you have done, you have done for Krsna.

Prabhupada: That may be, but in this world unknowingly you commit offenses.

Bhakti-Caru Maharaja: You can't ever commit offenses, Srila Prabhupada.  You are God's dear one, how can you commit offenses?

Prabhupada: I am a little temperamental person.  Often I used to use the words like rascal, etc.  I never compromised.  They used to call it kurul niye pracara. Preaching with a pickaxe.  Kurul in one hand and Bhagavatam in the other hand.  That's how I preached.  Anyway, make all the arrangements for her.

Later in the morning Krsnadasa Babaji came and sang kirtana for Prabhupada.  Asrama Maharaja, a disciple of Gosvami Maharaja, also was present.  Prabhupada lay in bed and they sat at his bedside in chairs.  Then Prabhupada preached to them.

Many devotees were present, and Ramesvara Maharaja took the opportunity to show photos of paintings from the new Srimad-Bhagavatam, Tenth Canto, Part Two, as well as photos of the Fiji opening and Rukmini-Dvarakadisa.

Prabhupada (to his Godbrothers): I have given them the philosophy of Indian culture and American money.  The whole world will change.  Don't keep Indian culture airtight and don't keep American money for sense gratification.  Krsna is giving them the intelligence.

Then Gopala Krsna presented Scientific Basis of Krsna Consciousness in Hindi, which will be distributed at the conference.

Ramesvara Maharaja asked an important question regarding BBT policy for the future.  Can the BBT compile various articles, lectures, discussions and conversations of Srila Prabhupada and publish them in hardbound, big book form, thus preserving them.  Srila Prabhupada said yes!

After Prabhupada's Godbrothers had left, Kirtanananda Swami tried to force Prabhupada to take medicine.

Kirtanananda Maharaja: Mother Yasoda could forget Krsna was God and tell Him He must eat.  Unfortunately my love is not so great.  I cannot forget you are my spiritual master.

Prabhupada: I am doing your work.

Then it came time for Srila Prabhupada to take prasadam.  Pisima had prepared five preparations with great love-khichari, shukta [stew],  fried eggplant, cauliflower, chutney.  Kirtanananda Swami was thinking to say that if Prabhupada ate, then he, Kirtanananda Swami, would leave.  He felt it would not be good for Prabhupada to eat such rich food.

Kirtanananda Maharaja: You have transcendental knowledge.  You can do whatever you like.

Prabhupada: Yes.

Kirtanananda Maharaja: But from medical point of view it is not good.

Prabhupada: Don't hinder!  From medical point of view you cannot give life.  You cannot give a dead body life.  Then again, you are going to [believe in] miracle.  It's not medical.  Medical point doesn't mean you can give life to a dead body.  My body is now dead.  You cannot give life.  It is not poison.  For the time being dispense.  Whatever possible, let me take.  Then [return and] chant.

The devotees were beginning to leave the room to allow Srila Prabhupada to eat.

Prabhupada: If I think I am taking poison, a dead body is already poisoned.  For a dead body poison or ambrosia.

Kirtanananda Maharaja: But Srila Prabhupada, your body is not dead.  It is very much alive.

Prabhupada: Rather, if you believe in miracles, pray to Krsna.  Medical science finished.

Then Srila Prabhupada sat up in bed and the plate was brought before him.  He began to eat.  A few of us remained with him: Upendra, Bhakti-Caru Maharaja, Satadhanya Maharaja, Hari-sauri, and myself.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: It is tasteful?

Prabhupada: Gradually.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: I think Krsna has sent her [Pisima].  We didn't call for her.

Prabhupada: Therefore I am taking.  Bring me lavan bhaskar.

Srila Prabhupada ate quite heartily for the first time in many months.  When he finished, he took some lavan bhaskar and then lay down.  Kirtanananda Swami came back in the room.

Prabhupada: Medical science finished.

Kirtanananda Maharaja: We had your urine tested.  It had blood, pus in it.  He has given tablets to take.

Bhagatji: The doctor wants blood.

Prabhupada: That is the difficulty.  First let me taste the tablet.

But Prabhupada never took the tablets.  He seemed determined to discontinue any further medicine.

When Srila Prabhupada had spoken earlier in the day to Krsnadasa Babaji, he had asked for forgiveness for any offenses.  He also said, "They [my Godbrothers] should help in preaching around the world.  After I leave, there won't be anyone to be their well-wisher.  So help them, if you can.  When Prabhupada [Srila Bhaktisiddhanta] wanted me to write in English, I thought, 'How can I?'  Then someone said, 'Write whatever you can and Krsna will help.'"

While talking with Krsnadasa Babaji, Srila Prabhupada praised his disciples. "One thing about my disciples, whatever I say they follow with absolute sincerity.  That will keep the movement going."

In the afternoon and actually for days Srila Prabhupada had been anxious to see Svarupa Damodara, who had been out of Vrndavana arranging for the conference.  Now Svarupa Damodara returned.

Prabhupada: What news?

Then Svarupa Damodara explained about the speakers and guests he had arranged for.  Prabhupada called for Kirtanananda Swami.

Prabhupada: You know about the conference?  So co-operate.  You have heard about the arrangements?  (In this way Srila Prabhupada was involving everyone.)  According to horoscope, life is finished.  Still I am living.  What should be the interpretation?

Kirtanananda Maharaja: The astrologers say you can live if you want to.  The whole world needs you.

Svarupa Damodara: Professors are requesting to have a centre [of Bhaktivedanta Institute] in Delhi.

Prabhupada: So why not take this opportunity?  It will be very prestigious in Delhi.  Kirtanananda Maharaja, how do you like this?  Arrange for conferences, one after another with many guests.  Do something before my departure.  So I can see something.  God is one.  He is a person.  He is Krsna and we have to follow what Krsna says.  Then our life is successful.  According to our sastra the mind is meant to speculate.  It does not give us any definite knowledge.  My mind is working in one way, yours in another.  No definite conclusion.  This is the result of mental speculation.  Gita says manah-sasthanindriyani.  The spirit spark, bound up by the mind and senses, is struggling hard on the material plane.

Prabhupada called for Pisima's son and asked for a report on how people in Calcutta liked and visited our temple.

Prabhupada: At present our ordinary prasadam is very much liked.  Prasadam is very nice.  I am not eating, but I am hearing and am very much satisfied.  This is also bhajana, to be satisfied when others are taking nice prasadam.

In the late afternoon, a contingent of Gaudiya Vaisnavas led by Puri Maharaja came to pay their respects: Asrama Maharaja, Ananda Prabhu and many devotees from Vishakhapatnam and Rajahmundry.  They talked and sang for Srila Prabhupada, and even massaged his body.  Prabhupada begged forgiveness from them for any offenses he may have committed and called himself maha-patita.  They immediately corrected him by saying Prabhupada was maha-patita-pavana.

Asrama Maharaja: You are the eternal ruler.  You will rule over us, chastise us, guide us.

Prabhupada: Forgive all my offenses.  I became proud with my opulence.

Prabhupada's Godbrothers: No, you never became proud.  When you started preaching, opulence and success followed you.  This is the blessing of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu and Sri Krsna.  There can't be any question of offense.

Prabhupada: In the sastra it is said-duhkha, suffering is a kind of austerity.  It has been welcomed so that one can perform this austerity and become purified.  Now you all forgive me.

Srila Prabhupada asked Puri Maharaja to help develop the Bhuvanesvara temple.

Puri Maharaja: Your body is divine.  You are fully conscious.  Tirtha Maharaja was unconscious for fifteen days in the hospital.  This is the symptom of your divinity.

During the conversation, Srila Prabhupada also told a very nice joke: "Once a bridegroom was selected.  The other party, the bride's party, inquired how the bridegroom was qualified.  They said, 'He is a doctor.'  Then they inquired what kind of doctor-a doctor of philosophy or a doctor of medicine.  They said, 'No, no, no.  Not all that nonsense.  He is a big doctor-a conductor.'"

In the late afternoon Srila Prabhupada took sandesh.

When Prabhupada had not seen Kirtanananda for many hours since refusing allopathic medicine and refusing to abide by the regimentation which Kirtanananda Maharaja had prescribed, he asked, "Where is Kirtanananda?  He is annoyed?"

We asked Srila Prabhupada's approval for a loan from the Mayapur Vrndavana Trust to the BBT on behalf of Bombay construction for seventy thousand dollars.

Srila Prabhupada called for Svarupa Damodara throughout the day for news of the conference.

Prabhupada: At the present moment they [the scientists] are accepted as the big men.  So if they follow, all others will.  (To Svarupa Damodara) Some gentleman offered a place in Delhi?

Svarupa Damodara: No, they only want to help us.

Prabhupada: How?  Supporting means with money.

Svarupa Damodara: With money and other help.

Prabhupada: With their cooperation the Institute will be very prestigious.  But don't overburden.  Other businesses may not suffer.  We have already place in Bombay.  If Bombay is sufficient, don't bother in Delhi.

Svarupa Damodara: Everyone is respectful of Srila Prabhupada.

Prabhupada: Yes.  That must be kept.  People must not think of it as bogus.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: You are the real acarya, making people who would not be interested into devotees.

Prabhupada: In the beginning when I was selling Back to Godhead alone, one practical businessman said, "Swamiji, why you have made Vrndavana your headquarters?  This is not a cultural place."

Svarupa Damodara: Many people, when they hear Bhaktivedanta, they remember your lectures in Delhi.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Many sophisticated people came to hear.

Prabhupada: They danced!  Shirt, coat and pants, I remember.

Kirtanananda Maharaja: You don't want to take pills for urine?

Prabhupada: That much-glucose.  Nothing more for the time being.  Don't increase, decrease.  And preserve those sweet lemons and chant Hare Krsna twenty-four hours.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 13^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

When Srila Prabhupada woke up, he called Pisima and asked her to chant Nrsimhadeva mantras over him, which she did while rubbing his chest.  Srila Prabhupada said, "She is a Vaisnavi and God has sent her at the right time to cure me."

During the night he had asked for two paintings, one of Krsna and Balarama and one of Radha and Krsna, to be moved directly in front of the foot of his bed, so he could see Them.

Atreya Rsi and Parivrajakacarya were leaving again for Teheran.  This morning they chanted many hours for Prabhupada.

Prabhupada: The sweet lemon juice is like nectar. It is very nice.  Such sweetness in your country is the great mercy of Bhagavan.  And you are trying to spread Krsna consciousness so nicely.  Krsna will bless you.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: He can't come during the week, but will come weekends and bring you a case of fruit.

Prabhupada: Yes, business should not suffer.  Very good.  They give special airline ticket?

Srila Prabhupada asked to see a photo of Krsna-Balarama and held it for a long time looking at it.  I pointed out where Their lotus feet were.  Then Srila Prabhupada asked to drink some Yamuna jala [water].  This he did throughout the day, taking a spoonful at a time while lying down.

Prabhupada explained that the scientific gentlemen hated to come to Vrndavana.  They knew it as a place for gundas.  Pandas means gundas.

Later in the morning Srila Prabhupada took a strong oil massage.  Then Prabhupada asked me whether to take bath or prasadam.  I felt to eat was more important and Prabhupada confirmed, saying he would rather take the prasadam while it was fresh.  But unlike yesterday, he had no taste and hardly ate anything.

Prabhupada was speaking to Bhavananda Maharaja, and looking at him Srila Prabhupada said, "Just now I am forgetting your name.  This is the position."

When I asked him whether he would sometimes like to hear Bhagavatam instead of kirtana, he said Bhagavatam hearing was a little straining.

A telegram arrived reporting the sensational results of book distribution in France-over twenty-five thousand big books in one week.  Prabhupada was very pleased and commented, "Yes, we do not want liberation.  We want to serve the purpose of the Gosvamis in association with pure devotees.  To stop birth and death is not our purpose."

Svarupa Damodara and the scientists came in, all dressed in shirt, tie, and pants.  Srila Prabhupada treated them very respectfully and Srila Prabhupada said, "Give them chairs.  You have got coat and pants.  Are you seated comfortably?  There is no reaction from the other side?"

Svarupa Damodara: Not much.  They mostly agree with us.  Sunday there are opposition speakers.  Five newsmen, including Times of India and All-India Radio have come.  Dr O.B.L. Kapoor spoke stating that matter did not really exist.  But our scientists defeated this Mayavadi-tinged statement by explaining that Krsna has two energies, both of which are real, one being permanent, the other forming temporary forms.

Prabhupada asked Bhakti-Caru to see Bonamali, the kaviraja, and explain Prabhupada's condition.  If he wanted to come, let him come.

Late in the evening, Srila Prabhupada called me in and asked again what the critical days and the fatal date were.  I then read the astrologer's report with Pradyumna's help.  Pradyumna was able to explain everything much more thoroughly than before.  In every way the report was completely negative, and it appeared that the inauspicious aspects were nearly insurmountable.  The fatal date came in January, and the total period until March/April was very bad for Srila Prabhupada.  At the end of the report, the astrologer recommended maha-japa and the recitation of a special prayer.  Srila Prabhupada heard everything silently.  The whole day in fact Srila Prabhupada was silent, with practically no external response to any conversations.  When a subject to which he would have responded normally was discussed, he now remained silent.

Prabhupada: So this maha-japa is maha-mantra.  And Bhagavata- patha.  So either read Bhagavata or chant Hare Krsna, and I'll lie down like this.  That is all, like it is going on.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: But you should try to drink and eat whenever you desire.

Prabhupada: Yes.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: You should not try to fast until death.

Prabhupada: Do you recommend that?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Definitely not!  I recommend you lay down here.  We will go on chanting.  Then in March we will take you to Mayapur and after that go on a world tour.

Srila Prabhupada smiled happily at this prospect.

Prabhupada (to Pradyumna): You can read Bhagavata from the point where I have stopped.  Is it possible?  And when he's tired, kirtana.  This is maha-japa.  And as far as possible let me lie down.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: You should not artificially fast.

Prabhupada: No.  That is suicide. (To Pradyumna) So, when you are beginning?

Pradyumna: Right now.

Prabhupada: Upendra, you keep honey ready.  Whenever required, I will take.  As soon as he stops [reading], then begin kirtana.  Someone may sit down and take note.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Jayadvaita is here.  Arundhati, Pradyumna.

There was a little ray of hope.  Was it possible?  Was Srila Prabhupada suggesting to take up Bhagavatam translation?  And in this condition?  It seemed impossible as we looked at him lying down.

Prabhupada: The whole staff is here.  In this way it can go on.  It will require expert editing and at the same time there will be discussion of Bhagavatam.  What do the editors say?

All: Yes!

Prabhupada: And each word read very distinctly.  Doesn't matter if it takes time.  You all think and I'll hear and do the needful.  Anyway it will be discussion of Bhagavatam.  Let us try-svalpam apy asya dharmasya.  So read one after another.  Slowly but surely.

And so Pradyumna began to read.  Sometimes Prabhupada would ask for the tikas [commentaries] of different acaryas.  And he would ask Pradyumna to translate word for word.  And sometimes Prabhupada would correct.  And sometimes he would ask Jayadvaita to read Krsna book.  The verses described Lord Krsna's pastime of stealing of the calves and cowherd boys by Lord Brahma.  And Srila Prabhupada very slowly began to speak the purports.  It was an amazing scene.  We gathered around Prabhupada's bedside, as he gave the immortal nectar of Bhagavatam at the point of death.  We were reminded of Krsnadasa Kaviraja who, on the request of the Vaisnavas, completed Caitanya-caritamrta despite so many physical disabilities.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 14^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

During the night Rupanuga was massaging Srila Prabhupada with mustard oil.  Srila Prabhupada asked for massaging oil made from smashed mustard seeds and camphor, heated on a charcoal stove, and applied to the whole body.  It would warm and stimulate him.

Prabhupada explained that if we kept his body fit, he would be able to work.  Prabhupada then called Bhagatji and asked him to call a masseur to apply this preparation.  So Bhagatji summoned Nathiram from Vrndavana.  Srila Prabhupada said to him, "You are like my son.  You must cure me."  Nathiram replied, "We are all your sons.  We will pray to Radharani."  He then applied the oil with opium added.  After massaging for some time, he said there was a knot in the intestines and therefore there was no hunger.  He applied a hot water bottle as well as neem leaves to keep the heat.

Bonamali, the kaviraja, also came.  He said the pulse was good and there was no complaint in the body, only weakness.

Prabhupada asked Pisima to prepare chana dal.

In the evening Panca-dravida Maharaja arrived, and a little later Nava-yogendra Maharaja.  Nava-yogendra Maharaja brought many gifts for Srila Prabhupada.

Giriraja presented Prabhupada with a coat worn by Sri Nathaji.  The Maharaja of Udaipur had sent it for Prabhupada.

Giriraja and I had been dealing with the Punjab Bank managers, and Srila Prabhupada asked for a report.

Prabhupada: What is that fish-fish? (Prabhupada's expression for whispering, because I had been whispering to Giriraja.) Very carefully deal with the bank and as far as possible don't keep money in the bank.  Invest in books.  That is my request.  If you keep money (in the bank), there will be so much trouble.  On the current account and savings account, do you have to give ten days notice?

Giriraja: These people are too attached to following the rules and regulations without understanding the purpose.

Prabhupada: Niyamagraha.

Giriraja: Jayapataka Maharaja has complained there is no stocking of books.

Prabhupada: Then analyze many printers.  Never mind the price.  Huge stock of books.  Why unnecessarily keep in bank.  I think that in the BBT there is five to six lakhs.  Why not transform it into books?  Hindi, Gujarati and English can be distributed all over the world.  Why money should be kept in the bank?

Then Giriraja read a very nice prayer to Krsna he had written, praying for Prabhupada's recovery.  Prabhupada appreciated it very much and Srila Prabhupada said it should be sent to Back to Godhead for publication.

Prabhupada: Visvambhara-everywhere they want me-you also?

Visvambhara: I wish that I may go early and you complete the Bhagavatam.

Prabhupada: That is my desire.

Visvambhara: Krsna will not fulfil your desire?

Prabhupada: Krsna is independent. (To Giriraja) Now I am getting little glimpse.  He may agree to your prayers.  Now stock books immediately.  Print.  He (Tamala Krsna Maharaja) will pay you.  There is no question of becoming miserly.  You print as many books as you like.  All money will be paid if you have no money.  Why stock is lacking?  Why this mismanagement?  I give you open order-print more than necessary.  If you don't print, what can I do?"

Bhakti-Caru: Should we print in Calcutta in Hindi?

Prabhupada: Why ask me? (There was a discussion of the Bhuvanesvara project.) Construction is not so important as printing books.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 15^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

Yesterday, Srila Prabhupada drank a little milk; subsequently, by this morning, he had developed a cough.  After taking a dose of cough syrup, Srila Prabhupada said a serious possible consequence of a cough was pneumonia.

Prabhupada translated one verse with a long purport at 3:00 a.m.

He was given pomegranate juice, which he drank with his golden straw.

For lunch, Srila Prabhupada had vegetable broth along with a paste of avocado, papaya, and coconut.

Lokanatha Maharaja arrived with Dr G. Ghosh, whom he had found in Darjeeling.  After a twenty-two-hour, bone-breaking journey, Lokanatha had brought Srila Prabhupada's eighty-two-year-old friend the one thousand miles to Vrndavana.  Srila Prabhupada said, "Just see!  Such a big man sacrificing everything.  He has come.  He is so kind."  Lokanatha explained that as soon as Dr G. Ghosh had heard of Prabhupada's condition, he dropped everything and set out, despite the hardships of the journey.  Prabhupada continued, "All my dear friends, they have gone.  Recently, that Dinanath Misra.  He is the only person left now.  Otherwise, all very confidential friends, gone.  And Krsna has made him happy in all respects.  From medical point of view and family, he is the biggest medical practitioner in Allahabad.  Everyone knows him-even in the streets."

Prabhupada was massaged twice a day now by Nathiram.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja:  Do you like the massage?

Prabhupada: It is very pleasing.  Pleasing means I am sleeping.  But one difficulty is, the oil is very sweet, so the poor ants are attracted and are being killed.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: The masseur attends arati.

Prabhupada: Anyone who inhabits Vrndavana is a devotee.

Late in the afternoon, I began reading Krsna book to Srila Prabhupada, who very much enjoyed listening.  "Later," Srila Prabhupada said, "we could begin translating again."

In the evening, Bharadvaja and Jayatirtha described to Srila Prabhupada some of the exhibits planned for the doll museum.  One exhibit would depict the difference between man and animals.  Prabhupada commented, "A vulture can find out from so many miles a dead carcass.  Strong eyes, but looking for death.  So you have made the outline first-class.  Now if it can be done at least in the Western countries, it can be very, very wonderful."

Bharadvaja: A long time ago, you wanted an exhibit in London.

Prabhupada: Yes, in London.  It is a good place.  Many, many persons come.

Bharadvaja: We have been considering whether in London, it might be a better place than Washington.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 16^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

Dr G Ghosh advised that there were too many people always surrounding Srila Prabhupada, decreasing the amount of oxygen and increasing the risk of spreading germs.  The kirtana party, therefore, moved into Prabhupada's prasadam room.

Prabhupada asked to see Acyutananda Swami, who informed him that he was going to America to preach at the invitation of Ramesvara Maharaja.  Srila Prabhupada said that was good.  When Govardhana Prabhu arrived in Vrndavana, Prabhupada asked whether there was any trouble with crime at our Detroit temple.  Govardhana gave a full report.

Since Upendra was sick with a cold, I had not left the temple grounds in many days.  Thus, I took permission from His Divine Grace to go for a bath in the Yamuna.  In my absence, Prabhupada asked for me twice and also for Upendra, and Srila Prabhupada said, "I feel alone."

Dr G Ghosh stated that Prabhupada's stomach and liver were all right but stressed that Prabhupada should eat more and drink lots of liquids.  Prabhupada's sister cooked fried eggplant, fried portals, puris, yogurt blended with figs, apricots, and raisins, papaya, coconut milk blended with avocado.  Srila Prabhupada ate very heartily.

Dr G Ghosh gave Prabhupada vitamin C,  B-complex and Lassix tablets.  A specialist, Dr Gopal, whom Dr G Ghosh called from the Ramakrishna Hospital, was a young doctor who seemed highly competent and very well mannered.  Dr Gopal, said to be the best doctor in the Mathura district, examined Prabhupada and found his pulse to be ninety-six, but after every eighteen beats, it skipped a beat.  The blood pressure was 130.  On the left side of the abdomen were dried faeces.  He said that Srila Prabhupada had a serious chronic kidney infection, which, if not treated, could be fatal.  He gave a full list of medications.  When the two doctors consulted, they seemed to agree on the diagnosis; but Dr Gopal seemed to be more up-to-date on available medicines for particular needs of Srila Prabhupada.

In the late afternoon, Srila Prabhupada met with Giriraja and myself.  We asked whether there was any need to hire professional brahmanas from South India for the Bombay temple opening. Prabhupada responded, "There is no need.  Western brahmanas."  We explained that we felt Yasodanandana Swami was competent and the Bombay people were not so fussy.

Giriraja: We decided to open on January 8^th.

Prabhupada: What festival is that?

Giriraja: Actually, there is no big festival for several months.

Prabhupada: Bhaktisiddhanta's appearance day?

Giriraja: That is February 28^th.  Actually, that means the building will be done and will be vacant for two months.

Prabhupada: No.  That is not good.

Giriraja: We were also considering Siva-ratri.

Srila Prabhupada made a motion indicating that this was not acceptable.

Giriraja: We were also considering Bhaktisiddhanta's disappearance day, December 29^th; but for most people, it is an ordinary day and many people can't come.

Prabhupada: That is not good.

Giriraja: We could begin the function on December 29^th and have the opening on Sunday, January 1^st.

This proposal was acceptable to Srila Prabhupada.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Disappearance day is all right?

Prabhupada: We have no such distinction-disappearance or appearance.  We are going to accept eternity.  Appearance or disappearance is bodily.  Not very important.  Nitya siddha.  Earliest possible date should be fixed up.  And as far as possible our own men should do it. We can keep two or three local brahmanas, if required.  Perform the yajna very gorgeously.  If you can distribute to the local brahmanas some utensils, cloth, and grains, they will come.  And let them cook themselves.

One of the purposes for which Dr G Ghosh had come was to see the possibility of establishing a medical clinic here.  Prabhupada was interested that Dr G Ghosh first become a devotee.  Prabhupada had me try to explain this to Dr G Ghosh, but it was difficult for me to do because Dr G Ghosh kept stressing that he must remain active.  Service to man was service to God, and he was not the type to remain sitting all day and chanting.  Since I did not want to offend him by explaining that he was too materially involved, Srila Prabhupada had to do the preaching: "You have to practice how to live in Vrndavana, 'How I shall be detached from visayi.'  We are attached to this body, children, wife and home.  So long we have got the desire, this body, wife or children will give me pleasure, we cannot live in Vrndavana."  Dr G Ghosh was obviously too much attached to his family, so Prabhupada advised, "Let them [him and his wife] come here and live for some time; then we can take up this program."

Later, Srila Prabhupada further explained, "As it is natural that people are attached to wife and family, Dr Ghosh is attached.  He has to practice vanaprastha.  Gradually.  His children are grown.  With wife, he has to stay and practice.  Just like our Dr Sharma, the gurukula principal.  He has made up his mind.  The method is mentioned in sastra.  Otherwise, such schemes will be simply a waste of time.  He has got sraddha-some faith.  Then sadhu sanga [association with saintly persons].  You are all sadhus."

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 17^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

Early, before mangala-arati, Srila Prabhupada asked Bhavananda Maharaja to call me.  Srila Prabhupada said, "I cannot sleep.  This allopathic medicine does not agree."  I suggested they could give some medicine for inducing sleep.  "That is the problem," Srila Prabhupada replied.  "They can give one thing and another...."  Prabhupada was very exhausted, having been unable to rest properly all night.

We tried to reason with Prabhupada about the necessity of drinking more.

Prabhupada: I cannot drink, drink, drink.  Drinking is a botheration.  How can I take constantly?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: We are offering you something three or four times, but you are drinking very little.

Prabhupada: What can I do?

Bhavananda Maharaja: The disease causes you to feel like not taking, even if you can.  You have to force yourself to get better.

Prabhupada: Then if problem comes, they will forcibly....

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: As a person who is not Krsna conscious has to force himself to follow the rules, so a diseased person has to force himself to take medicine.

Prabhupada: I have no stamina to force.

Prabhupada was so weak that we had to ask him to repeat his words so we could hear.  After presenting many arguments, we could only beg Prabhupada to try to get well.

Devotees: Your presence on this planet is the only thing which is keeping the onslaught of Kali-yuga from really taking effect.  We have no idea what will happen if you should leave.

Prabhupada: That is not in my hands-Krsna-Balarama's.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: I think Krsna-Balarama want you to fight, Srila Prabhupada.

Prabhupada: Now I'm falling.  (He repeated his statement three times, but we could not hear him clearly.)  I'm falling down.....

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: The urine is darker, Srila Prabhupada.  In ten and a half hours, you have taken only 150 cc.  Try to take more; then the urine will become clear.  Get more determination by trying to drink more; and the disease will leave.  I am in favour of increasing drinking and eating.  I know it may be a little difficult, but it's the proper way to get better.  We will never let you go to the hospital.  The medicine's disturbing effect could be countered by some sleeping medicine.

Bhavananda Maharaja: In Gita it says if you have jaundice, even sugar cane is bitter.  So this medicine may also be a little bitter.  So you should continue.  It will work.

Bhavananda Maharaja and I tried to persuade Prabhupada with so many arguments that he should not give up.

Prabhupada: This light massage is good.  Dr Ghosh says no massage, and the other doctor says there is no harm.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Dr Ghosh is a little old-fashioned and not so up-to-date.  Dr Gopal knows newer, milder medicines.

Prabhupada: So, they disagree.  Which is correct?

Bhavananda Maharaja and I felt that Dr Gopal was better.

Bhavananda Maharaja: Dr Gopal said that the inability to eat and drink is due to kidney infection.

There was more discussion then about taking more liquids like Complan.

Prabhupada: So what do you want to do now?  Then give me a little Complan.

We all felt very much relieved.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Every one of us, all of your disciples, are in agreement that you need to force yourself to eat and drink more.  What can we do if you don't do....

Prabhupada: When I don't take anything, I feel more comfortable.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: But you don't get better.  That is the policy of death.

Prabhupada: So let me die peacefully.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: But we already explained that we don't want you to die.

Prabhupada: If I become discomfortable...naturally.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: But it's only temporary discomfort until one gets better.  Then you can throw out the medicines.

Prabhupada (yawning loudly): Jaya Krsna-Balarama.  Now I am feeling comfortable.

He has not eaten or taken medicine for nearly half a day.

Bhavananda Maharaja: But your urine is cloudy again.

Prabhupada: Whatever it may be, if you leave me to my fate, then I feel comfortable.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: But if we force you, then you feel uncomfortable.  Is that right, Srila Prabhupada?"

Prabhupada nodded his agreement.

Hamsaduta Maharaja: But the other day, you said to fast like this means suicide.

Prabhupada: Hmm?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: I asked you the other night not to fast until death; and you said, "No, no.  It is suicide."

Prabhupada: Now...I am puzzled!

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: We are not able to let you go, Srila Prabhupada.  We are not strong enough.  We want you to be with us.  We need you longer.

Prabhupada: Anyway, for the time being you can give me that preparation.  Where is Giriraja?  I wanted to speak to you all by talking to Giriraja.  If by Krsna's desire, I do not exist during Bombay opening ceremony, then ceremony should be very gorgeously performed.  Everyone should be given sumptuous prasadam.  Whoever comes.  Of course, the opening ceremony should be performed as early as possible.

Giriraja came in and Prabhupada asked me to repeat what he had said.

Prabhupada: And one thing, don't try to make preparations in the temple.  Order full stock from confectioners.  Have good stock and distribute.  There are many nice sweet suppliers in Bombay.  Order from them.  How do you like this idea?

Giriraja: It is a very good idea except that we feel you should be personally present.

Prabhupada: Hmm.  Therefore, I say it is up to Krsna's desire.  You are trying.  I am also trying.  Now it is Krsna-Balarama's desire.

Bhagavan Maharaja: You are the jewel that will make it all gorgeous, Srila Prabhupada.

Prabhupada: So I am giving the idea.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: The Complan is here, Srila Prabhupada.

Prabhupada: So what should I do?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Sit up and drink.

Srila Prabhupada agreed and sat up and drank the whole glass.  Then he asked for soft kirtana and lay down again.

Prabhupada: I wanted to...from Krsna...you are all pure Vaisnavas.  You have sacrificed everything for Krsna's sake.  That is Vaisnava. Anyabhilasitasunyam.  You have no other desires.  You Europeans and Americans.  You were born amidst material desires; and when you became free from material desires, you are all Vaisnavas.  So you are so merciful.

Jayapataka Maharaja: Because you are paramahamsa, Srila Prabhupada, you are seeing everyone else as being surrendered to Krsna.  But only by your mercy are you forcing us to serve Krsna.

Prabhupada: Hare Krsna. One Bengali gentleman has come from New York?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Yes, Srila Prabhupada, Mr Roy Choudhry.

Prabhupada: So I have deputed some of you to initiate.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Yes.

Prabhupada: So I think Jayapataka can do that, if you like.  I have already deputed...tell him.  So I depute him to do this at Mayapur, and he may go with him.  I stop for the time being.  Is that all right?"

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Stop doing what, Srila Prabhupada?

Prabhupada: This initiation.  I have deputed my disciples.  Is it clear or not?

Devotees: It's clear.

Prabhupada: You have a list of the names?  And if by Krsna's grace, I recover from this condition, then I shall begin again; or I may not begin. But in this condition, to initiate is not good.  Dr Ghosh has a scheme, but actually the scheme is there in the Gita.  We want to introduce in our gurukula.  We haven't got to manufacture such scheme.  Is that correct?  Let them learn to rise early in the morning and cleanse.  That is the first scheme.  This will keep their health nice.  Catur varnyam, etc.  Unless the varnasrama system is introduced, no scheme for social order or any order will be successful.  Manmade scheme-useless.  What is the verse from Brahma-samhita?

Everyone thought.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Maya hi yasya jagad-anda-satani sute.

Prabhupada: Yes.  In that existence, there is no material contamination.  So if you want, you can give me little fruit juice.  You are satisfied?  I have taken that Complan, and now if I take a little fruit juice.

Bhavananda Maharaja: Oh yes, and if you could just take a little of the medicine.

Prabhupada agreed and then took a little massage.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: The professional man massages with oil and we are doing so with love.

Prabhupada: That oil creates some ants.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Yes, the oil attracts by its sweetness, but we are trying to attract you by the sweetness of our massage.  No ants will come.

Prabhupada smiled and took some juice.

Dr. G Ghosh came in after Srila Prabhupada's bath, and Prabhupada preached to him about always remembering Krsna.  I brought in a painting just completed by Pandu dasa, of Krsna climbing Govardhana.  Prabhupada commented, "Krsna alone," since the cowherd boys and calves were very small in the background.  He presented the painting as a gift to Dr G. Ghosh.

Prabhupada called for Svarupa Damodara, who presented a complete plan for his future activities.  Svarupa Damodara's headquarters will be in Atlanta, where he was planning to stay and write for a few years.  He also wanted more rooms built in the Bombay project and a hall built in Vrndavana.  I suggested that there was no need, since the scientists had not come to the first conference.  He argued convincingly, however, stating that the gurukula needed an auditorium and that the scientists who came had been favourably impressed.  They had said they would bring many more colleagues, now that they knew such a nice facility existed.

Laksmi Nrsimha gave a report of the new property in Puerto Rico and invited Srila Prabhupada to visit.

Today was a record for Srila Prabhupada.  When we informed him that he had drunk more liquid (1,000 cc) and passed more urine (495 cc) than on any other day on record, thus setting new "world records," he laughed very much at this.

Srila Prabhupada translated neither today nor yesterday.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 18^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

Again, Prabhupada could not sleep soundly at night, a condition for which he blamed the allopathic medicine.  Although Prabhupada drank more yesterday, he did not show any significant signs of improvement.  He was still just as weak as ever, lying silently and moving only with help.  We were puzzled.  Although his pulse was strong, and he was taking liquids and passing urine, he had no vitality. He was disturbed because he was passing stool too frequently, three times a day.

Bhavananda Maharaja struggles all day to convince Srila Prabhupada to drink and take medicines.  I also try to give convincing arguments why Srila Prabhupada must live.  Upendra and Satadhanya Maharaja both render bodily service, and Bhakti-Caru does the cooking.  The effort to keep Prabhupada from giving up the fight causes the situation always to seem critical and tense.

Giriraja and Bhavananda Maharaja both have minor ailments for which they have gone to Bonamali for medicine.  Prabhupada lamented throughout the day, "Why kaviraja is for everyone, but not for me?"  Dr Gopal examined Srila Prabhupada and said he would be visibly stronger within a few days.  He dealt with Prabhupada with much expertise, realizing that Prabhupada is transcendentally situated, but still a very temperamental patient.  He asked to take a pinprick of blood, which Srila Prabhupada permitted; but realizing, perhaps, Srila Prabhupada's unwillingness for such things, he never took a full blood sample.  He said the frequent passing of stool was not a bad sign but indicated the elimination of poison and was natural for one who took only liquids.  He recommended that Prabhupada also took some solids.

Prabhupada argued with Bhakti-Caru Maharaja, saying "What is the use of eating when it just comes out as stool and urine?  How it will give nourishment if it just goes in and out?"  Prabhupada's observation seemed confirmed by the fact that he was not visibly stronger even though his intake had increased.

When Bhakti-Caru fed Srila Prabhupada mashed potatoes and then custard, Srila Prabhupada began to vomit after hardly a mouthful.  So much mucus and saliva immediately came out.  For two days in succession, he has vomited whenever he tried to eat anything solid.  He was now completely averse to trying.

Prabhupada has been asking me whether I studied the draft conveyance of the flat for his former family.  After Giriraja and I read it, I reported that there were a few questionable clauses.  Prabhupada wanted to complete the conveyance.  He insisted, "Accept the conveyance.  There are so many other flat owners.  As others are doing, we should do."  Prabhupada agreed when I said it was not good to be too much of a lawyer.

The postal receipts Prabhupada had bought ten years ago for his former family members will mature next month.  After discussing them, Srila Prabhupada said they should be given to Vrindaban De, instead of the one lakh of rupees he was requesting as a loan.

Today, Prabhupada changed his mind and Srila Prabhupada said that Vrindaban should be given the flat and the Society should keep the postal receipts.  When I pointed out that the value of the receipts was only half the value of the flat, Srila Prabhupada said the other half could be taken from Vrindaban as a donation.

Prabhupada asked Jayapataka Swami what the Bengal government's decision was in regard to giving us the Panihati property.  Jayapataka reported that we had presented our application, but now the government has changed.  Prabhupada responded, "So government changes and everything changes?  Act very cautiously."

Mahamsa Maharaja arrived with a report of the Hyderabad farm, and Srila Prabhupada inquired about prasadam distribution there.

Yesterday, at Prabhupada's request, Bharadvaja sang parama koruna, accompanied by a harmonium.  As Prabhupada listened in ecstasy, his head moved back and forth while he lay in bed.  During another kirtana led by Hamsaduta Maharaja, he was so ecstatic that he lifted his hands and arms and Srila Prabhupada said, "Jaya!  Everyone join together and chant Hare Krsna."

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 19^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

Srila Prabhupada could not sleep during the night.  In the morning, we tried to feed him, but he vomited.  When Dr Gopal came to examine him, he asked, "Can you take anything besides misri jala?"  "Yes," Prabhupada answered.  "Harinama.  Best thing is harinama.  Let me hear harinama and peacefully pass away."

Prabhupada's skin has taken on a shiny appearance, as if he were perspiring.  It is also very thin, with the bones visible just beneath.

The doctor fed Prabhupada four spoonfuls of cold custard, after which Srila Prabhupada said he felt a little better.

Prabhupada then said, "Constant medicine is disgusting.  Constant medicine gives brain trouble."  The doctor permitted the amount of medicine to be reduced by half.

Earlier this morning, Prabhupada translated.

Prabhupada called me to discuss the Panchashil flat for his former family: "I wanted because Vrindaban Chandra is working for BBT.  Therefore we have given them a place to stay and they can live lifetime.  All of them.  They cannot have the right to mortgage, sell.  They can have the right to live. If we give them the right of proprietorship, they may sell.  That I cannot allow."

Hari-sauri informed Prabhupada that all the Indian Gitas were sold out in Australia.  Prabhupada instructed me to tell Gopala Krsna to hire two or three more printers.  There was no scarcity of funds.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days- October 20^th-Tamala Krsna Goswami

[chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)]

This morning, Dr G Ghosh left, feeling Srila Prabhupada was in good hands with Dr Gopal.  When he asked Prabhupada's permission to go, Prabhupada inquired, "You are not going to open dispensary?"

Dr G Ghosh: Yes, I want to.  But they must come forward.

Prabhupada: Doctor and kaviraja all say to eat.  But I cannot.  Even kings don't get this service.  (Prabhupada was referring to the loving treatment being given him by all of the devotees.)  Come immediately.  Your life is successful.  All sons grown up.  My family life was failure.  We started life together.  (Prabhupada laughed.)  I've done big, big business, but Krsna wanted to bring me to do this work.  In the morning, there is sleep.  Night, not.  Give me little scratching.  (He turned on his side for Bhavananda to scratch) Yes, when I sleep-do not disturb.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Is there any request for some special kirtana?  Bharadvaja is here.  He can sing whatever you like.

Prabhupada: Bharadvaja is best artist.

As Prabhupada had sung a few bars of  "Hari haraye namah krsna," and I suggested that song.  Prabhupada nodded, and Bharadvaja began to sing, accompanied by harmonium.

Seeing Nava-yogendra in the room, Srila Prabhupada said, "You have brought many valuable presentations.  Sell them and engage the money in Mombasa.  Sometimes, presentations are sold for higher prices by bid."

Prabhupada then quoted: "Yam syamasundaram ...still Syamasundara is going on.  Otherwise, simply bones."

Since we had noted so many side effects of the medicines, we decided not to give Prabhupada any today.  Already, we could tell the difference: Prabhupada was notably more alert and relaxed.

During the past two days, he had eaten a little custard at times, and a little ice cream.  Today, we suggested that he pick his favorite preparation.  We all gave suggestions, which Prabhupada rejected; but when Upendra mentioned laddhu, Prabhupada approved, "Yes, bundi laddhu."  I remembered it was Rama Vijayotsava and said there must be a feast.  The conversation was very light.  Pisima was engaged for cooking. When Prabhupada lay down, he very seriously admonished, "Before the spiritual master, don't talk anything that will cause laughing.  Laughing means taking things lightly.  That is the etiquette.  Gravity must be maintained.  This is for your teaching.  You are simple.  Understand me rightly, or not?"

Prabhupada quoted from Brahma-samhita: Ramadi-murtisu... and premanjana-cchurita-bhakti...:  "These two mantras should always be repeated.  That will do great benefit to me.  Then Hare Krsna and Sri Krsna Caitanya....  Kirtana must always go on and these mantras.  So I and you can hear them.  And physically-massage.  Sometimes with Brahmi oil on the head."

Prabhupada: So translation, whatever I have done in this stage, is it going on all right?

Jayadvaita:  Yes.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Can Yadubara film?

Prabhupada: Yes.  He is a very good devotee.  Yadubara has freedom to do anything.

As we were not giving Prabhupada any medicine today, we felt we should discuss with him.  He had asked whether Dr Gopal was coming today.  We felt that perhaps we were pushing Srila Prabhupada too much; and that, since he is perfect in every way, we should not impose our conditioned ideas on his transcendental desires.

Bhavananda Maharaja: Srila Prabhupada, we wish to obey your command.

Prabhupada: You say you'll obey my command.  I am the patient.  How I can command?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: So you are placing yourself under our care?

Prabhupada: Yes.  (Pause)  The doctor says, "When you call, I will come."  That means he's not taking responsibility.  If required, you consult the kaviraja.  But if you say, "Whatever you command," that means hopeless.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Our plan is for you to survive.  But your plan and Krsna's plan must also be that for our plan to be successful.  We did not want to impose our plan on you.

Prabhupada: If you are puzzled and I am patient...?

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: We are not puzzled for treatment.  It is a spiritual consideration.

Prabhupada: Treatment is material.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Yes, and the treatment is having some success, because you are remaining alive.

Prabhupada: Yes.  So go on with the treatment.

Bhavananda Maharaja: So we will go on with the medicine and kirtana.  Kirtana is most important.

Tamala Krsna Maharaja: And you go on with Bhagavatam translating.

Prabhupada: Yes.  Time may come and I will discuss.  They may come now (Pradyumna and Jayadvaita).  Send one letter to D. Ghosh: "There are two rooms for you-one for your dispensary and one for living according to your choice.  You are welcome.  Just open a small dispensary for giving medicine for common ailments for all inhabitants here."  We talked like that.  He may not feel shy.  Give him all facilities.

Jayapataka Maharaja came into the room and reported on Mayapur, having received news from Bengali devotees who had just now arrived.  Fourteen Muhammadans had been arrested and taken into custody by the police.  After being released on bail, they came and fell down at the devotees' feet and begged them not to be too strict.

Prabhupada: Yes, actually they are culprit.  Surendranath is not going to jail?

A few of us laughed.

Jayapataka Maharaja (getting ready to return to Mayapur): I want to print a book and bring it back.

Prabhupada: Yes.  Print books.  There is no scarcity of money.  Then go village to village, town to town.  We have got enough place to live in Mayapur.

Prabhupada had Jayadvaita read the edited copy of his recent translation work, instructing us, "You all hear and comment."  Prabhupada's translation work was completely different from before.  Whereas previously he would have had the doors locked to prevent being disturbed, now he asked who was present and even called for specific individuals.  His translating was an opportunity to preach to the devotees who surrounded his bed, and he frequently asked, "Is it clear?"  When hearing the edited work, he would sometimes give further comments.  Sometimes while translating, Prabhupada would begin simply lecturing to everyone.  Today, while listening to Jayadvaita read, Prabhupada fell asleep; so we performed kirtana in the absence of Prabhupada's translating.

At about 1:00 p.m., the feast was brought before Srila Prabhupada.  He tasted first the laddhu, but spit it out, not liking it at all.  He rejected one preparation after another, being unable to taste any of them satisfactorily.

In the evening, Srila Prabhupada called again for Pradyumna and Jayadvaita, and amazingly translated for well over an hour, after which he lectured very strongly for another hour.  He was having his ears cleansed, so he began to lecture on the senses: "...We are restricting the tongue.  If we take Krsna prasadam, we restrict the tongue, and all other senses become controlled.  And spiritual life means sense control.  We are not going to kill the senses.  Yogi wants to stop artificially senses.  This is not possible.  The senses are there.  Life means senses: Sarvopadhi-vinirmuktam.  Our senses are now upadhi.  Senses are there, but designated.  We have to free the senses from material designation.  When the designations are washed away with those senses purified, one can engage in the service of Krsna.  That is called bhakti.  Is that clear?  Discuss Bhagavatam daily as much as possible.  Everything will be clarified."

In the late evening, Dayananda Prabhu came from Teheran with a crate of fresh fruit, and gave a report of his activities.

Giriraja praised Srila Prabhupada.

Giriraja (feelingly): Srila Prabhupada, we have never met anyone with such transcendental qualities as you.

Prabhupada: It has to be developed.  Transcendental qualities are already there.  Only when we are designation-less is it manifest.  Svayam eva sphuraty adah.  When we serve in service mood, it is manifested.  It is now covered.  But when we become prone to give service to Krsna, it becomes revealed.  Nothing is imported.  Now print books and distribute.

Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days-October 21^st-Tamala Krsna Goswami