srila prabhupada said...!!! 22
chitralekha devi dasi (bcs)
Early in the morning, I was attending Srila Prabhupada. When he woke up, he related a dream he had just had: "Just now I dreamt that a Vaisnava of Ramanuja with big [tilaka] marks was preparing makaradhvaja. This kaviraja was preparing it. So why not try it?"
Prabhupada later asked me, "In the horoscope, it has dragged life through so many catastrophes; but ultimately how long the life is?" I answered that some said another five or six years, but others, up to one hundred years. Prabhupada concluded, "There is no standard. Anyway, do things very carefully. I am already dead, but still I am giving you instructions as far as I can. But this is not life - a bundle of bones." Gopala Krsna said: "You are the inspiration." And Prabhupada added, "Yes, that I shall do until the last breathing."
As Prabhupada was strong yesterday without taking medicine, we decided not to give any medicine again today. Since Prabhupada was asking for Dr Gopal, however, we decided to give the medicine after all.
Examining Prabhupada, Dr Gopal had expected increased strength; but there was no change. Prabhupada told him, "Regarding food, anything as soon as I hear the name, I become afraid." It was clear that Dr Gopal was perplexed. He listened to Prabhupada's breathing and suggested perhaps there was a lung problem. Dr Gopal requested that x-rays be taken, and Prabhupada had no objection, provided the machine could be brought to his room. On Dr Gopal's leaving, however, we came into Prabhupada's room and concluded that Dr Gopal was now simply speculating.
Prabhupada: I think this doctor's treatment failure. They will simply guess. Now take makaradhvaja-leave everything to Krsna. Doctor treatment is finished. They will simply guess and make things complicated.
Prabhupada asked what the doctor had prescribed, and Svarupa Damodara replied that it was some powerful, anti-tubercular drug.
Prabhupada: Then they will say, remove to hospital. Then who will take care of me?
Bhavananda Maharaja: We will never allow them.
Prabhupada: They will gradually do it. Don't remove me to hospital. Better kill me here. If you are disgusted, that is another thing.
Bhavananda Maharaja: Our fear is that you will be disgusted.
Prabhupada: No. I am not disgusted. I will treat myself. Let the kaviraja come. One after another, they will make things complicated. What is your opinion?
Bhavananda Maharaja: You have perfect knowledge-spiritual and material. Therefore, we have taken you as our spiritual master.
Prabhupada: All of you agree?
All: Yes!
Prabhupada: Then I will give direction! I want to know about this makaradhvaja, consulting both the kavirajas. (Pause) If you remove me from here, I will immediately die. I cannot live without your company.
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: And we cannot live without you.
Svarupa Damodara: You stay forever and we'll stay with you.
Prabhupada: Do that. And stop all medicine. Recently, Hitsaran Sharma had some trouble-his pathology was given to another by mistake and he was being treated as tubercular. I have got many experiences. In my family life, one servant Kashiram-he was howling. So we took him to the hospital. And so many students and doctors surrounded him. They diagnosed strangulation. Then they were prepared for surgical operation. Then another experienced doctor came and said, "Let us wait for a day." So he was kept in the hospital. When we got home, Kashiram's friend said, "Babaji got drunk." The next morning, Kashiram came back saying, "Doctor said I am all right." So-let us take a little bhagavata treatment. Everyone will die; let me die peacefully. Life is diminishing, but at least while Bhagavatam is being discussed, our life is not diminished. Can you think of transferring me to Mayapur?
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Yes. We would like to carry you.
Prabhupada: Mayapur is more open. In Mayapur, you can keep me in my quarters and take a little care. That's all. Here is one room, always closed. Fresh vegetables boiled, I can take a little bhindi. Whatever vegetables are grown there, boil and I can take. What vegetables are growing?
Bhavananda Goswami named the vegetables that were in season, and Srila Prabhupada was very pleased.
Prabhupada: Brahmananda, what do you think?
Brahmananda Maharaja: Yes, you should go.
Prabhupada: Gauda-mandala-bhumi tara hoy braja-bhume bas. We have got such a ruci, open palatial building. So that is my proposal. Now you think over seriously and arrange for it.
Tamala Krsna Maharaja: Now you shall go and shower your mercy on the Vaisnavas of Bengal.
Prabhupada: Or I shall go to take the dust of their feet. So, Bhakti Prema Swami, you are also coming?
Bhakti Prema Maharaja: Yes.
Prabhupada: So let us go in a team. Enough places. You can have two rooms. And either you remain in Mayapur or Vrndavana. It is the same. There is no difference. And if there is any danger, Bhavananda has his gun. So I shall prefer.
Bhavananda Maharaja: I am thinking what preparations to make.
Prabhupada: Simply fresh vegetable. Mung dal also. Let us go-a team.
On Srila Prabhupada's instructions, Bhakti-Caru went out to search for a Ramanuja kaviraja. With Srila Prabhupada's dream in his mind, Bhakti-Caru went to the temple of Rangaji, a Ramanuja temple. There he found a kaviraja who was wearing shirt, coat, and pants, but no tilaka. Bhakti-Caru thus rejected him but asked, "Where is the kaviraja with Ramanuja tilaka?" The kaviraja in Western dress took him some distance to the Janaki Vallabha temple, where he was told that the kaviraja he was searching for would return by 6:00 p.m.
At 6:00 p.m., Bhakti-Caru found the kaviraja and brought him to Srila Prabhupada. He was of the Ramanuja sampradaya and wore big tilaka. Coming before Srila Prabhupada, he offered dandavats. After feeling Prabhupada's pulse, he said the problem was in the functioning of the kidneys and in the fire of digestion, controlled by vayu. Srila Prabhupada had Bhakti-Caru describe the dream. The kaviraja said he was also thinking of makaradhvaja and ganga jala. It was decided that the kaviraja would come again tomorrow. The moment Prabhupada had him garlanded, the conch shells were blown. Srila Prabhupada said this was an auspicious sign, the conch shells being sounded in the kaviraja's honour.
Srila Prabhupada asked my impression of this kaviraja, but I had not been able to follow the conversation, which had been in Hindi. Prabhupada wanted my opinion, based on the kaviraja's facial features. I said that of doctors, the kavirajas were best; but how well they understood the science of kaviraji medicine, I couldn't say.
Biographies and Glorifications of Srila Prabhupada-TKG's Diary: Prabhupada's Final Days-October 22nd-Tamala Krsna Goswami