Fwd: Rewyndr: Book Review
Jon Chan
Begin forwarded message:
From: Jenna Date <jd...@cs.cmu.edu>
Date: July 30, 2013, 8:26:03 PM PDT
To: Skip Shelly <sk...@summa-tech.com>, Jonathan Chan <jonch...@gmail.com>
Cc: Carl Angiolillo <cang...@cs.cmu.edu>, <t.po...@dezudio.com>
Subject: Re: Rewyndr: Book Review
Hi All,Here are my final comments on the book. Looking specifically at the design iteration section.Congrats again! So happy for you and for your client. He's lucky to have you.Take care,Jenna….Page 60: Need a comma more focused more refined, and more detailed.Page 61: please use a descriptive word instead of "things" other things on them
Page 62: reword with a tight-knit group of people, was.
Page…oh. This is a beautiful rhythm. I love how you are walking through the prototype and then the way you have the takeaways formatted is GREAT to see it all on one page. Excellent callouts, excellent Nytimes headers. I get it! Yay!
I'M also a HUGE fan of the "big question" for each round. Really nice.
Page 91: what are kevin and kelsey doing? :)
Page 92: Quote handling. Sometimes anonymous with a name change, sometimes just first name, sometimes first and last. Might want to handle all quotes equally. First names are just fine. If you change one, consider changing the all. This photo is a bit odd because we don't know what's happening. It looks like a team process photo, but it's not a team member of yours. Maybe change the photo, or add a caption to tell me what she's doing?
Page 100: period after the quote. Use only first name. Looks more like a barista than a grad student? :)
Page 102: all headers on this page contain passive voice. To be, being able to, are, are, should be. Consider changing to active verbs. The same person wrote the text underneath it too. Passive. It just waters down the "punch" of the statement.
Page 103: isn't it Mechanism mechanisms
Page 108: same mark picture different quote.
Page 124: same mark picture different quote
From: Jenna Date <jd...@cs.cmu.edu>
Date: Tuesday, July 30, 2013 6:59 PM
To: Skip Shelly <sk...@summa-tech.com>, Jonathan Chan <jonch...@gmail.com>
Cc: Carl Angiolillo <cang...@cs.cmu.edu>, <t.po...@dezudio.com>
Subject: Re: Rewyndr: Book ReviewHi Folks!I just stopped in to see what kind of feedback you needed, and I heard, "next steps/moving forward" so I'll start there, and then do more later tonight/tomorrow morning on everything from page 50 on.I will do my best to get you the rest of the feedback on the design process by midnight tonight. Sorry it's coming in chunks.:)Congrats. Almost there!JennaMoving forward:Page 135 – this seems like a strangely written paragraph…"Users need to be able to search through the content across all of their communities. When entering a search term, users would see a list of photos and tags that are related to the search term. Many users expressed interest in searching for content."Page 137 – another weird one. Rewyndr could pursue some of these visions, which may apply, to other verticals Rewyndr may be interested in pursuing.Okay. Just dropped by with a few suggestions from the momo book. I'll let you folks talk amongst yourselves on that one.
Page 52. Is this your typical call out format? I don't remember a font that looks like this earlier in the book.
Page 53. Strange sounding writing? Our spring research phase concluded with the creation of visions. We brainstormed some design concepts that were then refined to a list of visions. The visions were used as a starting point for our ideation process. We used the visions we created to guide brainstorming workshops that we had with our client.
And here: t was important for each concept to represent a “product,” having both a name that identified it as an idea and a rough concept of how the product would be used. We refined these concepts by testing them in the field and also created internal evaluation metrics to determine the value of each concept.
I don't know if you can see this, but the way this is written is by using the same word over and over again. So it reads like concept concept concept concept. Does that make sense?
Page 53. Again here: We ended with 3 design concepts that we storyboarded and speed dated to arrive at our final concept.
Page 54 and 55. I really like these, I'm wondering if there are photos that can go along with the explanation instead of just the arrows.
Page 55. What's a storyboard? Because then you go on to show me one on 56, but I don't know what I'm looking at.
Page 57. Love this page!
Page 142. Needs attention.
Page 143 – 147 – Great visual design, little nit. (you will hate me for this one) There's a space in the prototype, it reads "MY PROFIL E" the space between the L and E should be removed.
On pages like 170, it says "check" but there's no check in the box. Am I reading this correctly? Otherwise, really difficult to find fault with this visual spec. Who ever put this together, kudos! You did your client a huge favor.
172 – 12 Numbers on the left, only 8 numbers on the right. Three still need to be filled in or deleted.
Blank pages on 176 and 77, but I'm sure you knew that! :)
From: Skip Shelly <sk...@summa-tech.com>
Date: Monday, July 29, 2013 8:01 AM
To: Jonathan Chan <jonch...@gmail.com>
Cc: Jenna Date <jd...@cs.cmu.edu>, Carl Angiolillo <cang...@cs.cmu.edu>, <t.po...@dezudio.com>
Subject: Re: Rewyndr: Book ReviewJonathan,Please find attached my review up to page 50. My suggestions are included using the "comments" feature of Acrobat. Overall the work is very good. The writing is clear and I understand the value proposition of Reflect. If a page does not include a comment I could not think of a way to improve it.Regards,. . . .Skip___________________
Skip Shelly
Summa Design Practice
5933 Baum Blvd., Pittsburgh, PA 15206
412. 535. 4906 : [ m ] 412. 596. 0538 : [ f ] 412. 291. 1717 : [ map ] http://tinyurl.com/lzg8tOn Jul 26, 2013, at 5:58 PM, Jonathan Chan <jonch...@gmail.com> wrote:Hi Jenna and Skip,You can find our final design report here:We'd love to get your feedback by Monday if possible so we have time to put in changes before we send the book to Alpha Graphics.Thanks,Team Spark