How to explain skepticism to your family and friends
Louis Mendez
challenging. In some cases, it can be outright daunting. Many people
have families or friends steeped in pseudoscience, alternative
medicine, or just outright mystical thinking. Sadly, in this day and
age expressing skepticism towards anyone's ideas is often a severe
faux pas, and sometimes can be the start of a long argument. I'f you'd
prefer to avoid those sorts of complications(and who wouldn't) there
are a few things you can do.
First: know what you want to say. Don't get caught scrambling to
explain what skepticism means to you. In this regard, you may find it
helpful to do a little research to see what others have to say about
skepticism. It's much easier to explain a thing if you know what it
is, and a firm understanding of your position may lend you
confidence. It is also helpful to keep in mind that one does not need
to be irreligious to be a skeptic. You might be an atheist or
agnostic, but skepticism doesn't necessarily mandate that. To me,
skepticism is simply critical thinking that emphasizes evidence over
personal anecdote.
Second: choose your audience. It will be helpful to explain your
philosophy first to people who will be supportive of your position.
It never hurts to have practical experience before trying to explain
yourself to people who will be more critical of your views. Even
supportive people may ask questions you hadn't thought of, and it's
much easier to come up with those answers to those questions while
you're not under pressure.
Finally: be calm and confident. If you get agitated, it is likely
that those around you will get agitated. It's tempting to launch an
all out attack on those things which you see as "woo", but it isn't
usually helpful. Now is probably not the time to tell your aunt
Matilda that the psychic she's been seeing is really just fleecing
her, or that the historical accuracy of the new testament is highly
controversial in nature. Being polite and respectful will increase
the chances that whoever you're talking to will be polite and
respectful in return.
I have had a bit more of a gradual outing, and it has involved quite a
few long and heated arguments. I haven't always followed my own
advice, and I've paid for it in friendships lost. Don't neglect the
pitfalls I've found, and avoid my mistakes.
I have recently written a short note to those in my life who were more
or less unaware of my philosophy, and perhaps it may offer a bit of
inspiration if you are planning to express skepticism to family and
friends.
"Many of you know that I have begun to consider myself a rational
skeptic. I'm still loathe to accept the label but I suppose it fits.
So, what does it mean?
Being a rational skeptic means not accepting claims just because they
are made. It means letting logical and empirical evidence play a
greater role in informing my decisions. What it does <i>not</i> mean
is rejecting all ideas out of hand.
Sometimes I must appear to be dismissive of some claims, but it is not
because I haven't considered them. When I get an email offering to
help me "get rich quick"(and promising not to be a multi-level
marketing scheme), I dismiss it based on prior experience and
knowledge, and it serves me well to do so. The internet community has
accumulated a vast amount of knowledge about these get rich scams, and
I can learn from it. In fact, if we weren't able to lean on the
knowledge of those who came before us we would be incredibly
vulnerable.
So also, do I dismiss the claim that fairies hide car keys, that
psychics can read minds, and that magicians are actually catching
bullets in their mouths. The reasoning is simple: The claim has been
made before, and it has been tested over and over throughout time. The
fairies can't be found, the psychic is just cold reading me, and well
the last one is a pretty well guarded secret, but I'm pretty sure it's
<i>not</i> magic."