The First Girl I Loved Hk

[Sara Legath]

The first surprise here, a little trick in the title, is that the narrator is a girl. Anne (Dylan Gelula) is 17, taking pictures for the school year book at a softball game. Sasha (Brianna Hildebrand) is a star athlete. Watching her makes Anne go weak at the knees. She tries to confide in her best friend Clifton (Mateo Arias) but he just laughs at how dumb she is about sports. Boys don't play softball, he says!

The movie is about the dance between these three characters: one passionate and brave, who's nevertheless frightened of being gay; one more conventional, who wonders what kissing a girl might feel like; and one so mixed up about his sexual longings that he's a loose cannon. It's a classic set-up for comedy or drama. There's some of both here but Sanga keeps the comedy in check, lest it detract from the sense of connection. That's the whole point: to keep us focused on each one's feelings, so that we feel the push and pull, the longing and frustration, without the luxury of easy judgments. That puts this 10 points ahead of most of the field in teen drama, where easy judgments are a given (good vs bad girls, nerds vs jocks, etc).

Apart from being a tender and thoroughly engaging film about the lives of modern teenagers, First Girl I Loved is convincing about the way that modern technology \\u2013 principally the mobile phone \\u2013 has changed those lives.

It's not the first teen romance to explore how the phone makes it easier to make mistakes, but it's one of the first to show us how it works as Cupid's arrow \\u2013 and that offers some balance. Texting for these three American high-schoolers is like breathing. They wake each other up to share secrets and intimacies; they punish each other by turning off the flow; they court and flirt using text; they break up and argue the same way. I'm waiting for the first film that tells its story entirely through texts, with characters who never actually meet.

The understanding of \\\"mod-comms\\\" is important in establishing the film's credibility with a younger audience, but it's more than that for this writer-director. Kerem Sanga worked in high schools in an earlier life. This is his third feature and the other two were also about the highs and lows of being young. It's clear that he has great respect for what modern kids go through. There's no sense here of a storm in a teacup, the downfall of so many teen movies. Like The Edge of Seventeen, which had many of the same qualities, the sense of urgency is real and the stakes are high \\u2013 not just high in kids' terms but actually so. Life-changing things happen at this age but so few movies take that seriously.

Sanga does that by achieving a remarkable sense of trust with these young actors, each of whom gives a generous, open, brave performance. He also does it by chopping up the narrative, returning at different times to the same scene to reveal a little more of what went on to cause the great ruptures we're seeing on screen. It's a bold technique, but everything about this movie is bold and fresh \\u2013 maybe why it won an audience award at last year's Sundance Film Festival.

Growing up I was taught love was between a man and women and that one day I will find my true love. Little did I know that it would take me until I was almost twenty years old to truly be able to love someone and fall in love with without being ashamed. Don't get me wrong I swore I loved" my past ex's but no one will be able to hold the place Nicole holds in my heart. Nicole, you are the first girl and first person I ever could wholeheartedly love and I'm glad it was you. I want to thank you for showing me it is okay and that I am allowed to fall in love with a girl.

When our relationship first began you were very patient with me, you allowed me to take a few days to tell my parents we were more than just friends from school. Then how you still accept and understand that not all my family knows and you respect that from how I grew up they can't know. You have been patient with me when it came to posting about our relationship on social media. You understood that I was not hesitant because I did not like you but more of how nervous I was to fully come out to the world and not be able to take it back. Even though you only had to put up with this for the first few weeks I appreciate it and you so much.

Months later there was no more hiding and I never knew how great this feeling would be, I'm glad I get the experience this new world with you. I am writing you this to you because you have taught me and showed me that you are the first person who I am truly be myself around. I can be in a real relationship with you, no hiding and no more being ashamed. You opened my eyes to the real world. We are not in our own little bubble from the world but instead we are conquering the world together hand in hand no matter who disapproves.

It is almost as if you lifted this ball and chain off my life and now I only see an open world with you. You are the first girl I have even been able to love without fear. I love how I can be able to be a real couple with you. Yeah people may roll their eyes when they see us walking down the street hand in hand and the comments are more mean and nasty then good, but with you by my side none of that matters anymore. You taught me it is okay to show you to the world. You taught me that the people who matter will still love me and be there. You taught me it is okay to be me. That is why I am happy to call you not only my girlfriend but also the most influential and real relationship I have ever been in.

Life is full of many wonderful pleasures that many of us, like myself, often forget about. And it's important to recognize that even on bad days, good things still happen. Focusing on these positive aspects of our day-to-day lives can really change a person's perspective. So in thinking about the little things that make so many of us happy, I've here's a list of some of the best things that often go unrecognized and deserve more appreciation:

Summer is hot and humid, and it's almost like summer was made specifically to drink the refreshing, cold, crisp wonderful, delicious, nutritious nectar of the gods. Which is none other than beer; wonderful cold beer. With summer playing peek-a-boo around the corner while we finish up this semester, it's time to discuss the only important part of summer. And if you haven't already guessed, it's beer. There are few things I take more seriously than my beer, in order are: sports... and beer. Here are my favorite summer brews:

Who said working on your summer bod has to stop when summer starts? In SoCal there are hundreds of gorgeous hiking trails in the mountains or on the cliffs overlooking the beach, so maintaining your summer bod is easy on the eyes and a lot less of a drag!

We're lucky enough to live in paradise and we don't take that for granted. We take advantage of our sunsets on the beach and backyard staycation without spending a pretty penny on visiting somewhere that isn't nearly as perfect as SoCal. We're pretty spoiled.

Sometimes you can't think of the perfect caption for your Instagram post. I love using lyrics as my captions because there's so many great lines in songs that just seem to fit in the moment. Here are some lyrics that could work for your selfie or pictures of you with your friends!

Anyone who was born and raised in New Jersey (or anywhere really) knows of Bruce Springsteen, whether or not they like him is a whole other situation. I hope that his hundreds of classic rock songs and famous high energy performances, even in his sixties he can put on better concerts than people half his age, are at least recognizable to people of all ages. Love him or hate him (I identify with the former) you have to admit that some of his songs and interviews have inspirational quotes and lyrics.

Here are a few of Bruce Springsteen's most memorable song lyrics because whether you're a die hard fan who named your dog after the man (I totally did that) or you have other opinions, you have to admit that some of his lyrics are on point:

The story is about Anne (Dylan Gelula), a teenage girl, who falls for Sasha (Brianna Hildebrand), a fellow female student at their high school. As she struggles with her feelings, Anne befriends the girl, but also has to handle her best friend Cliff's negative reactions when she tells him about this, along with far worse.The film provides examples of the following tropes:

• Ambiguously Absent Parent: We never see or hear anything of Anne's father. She lives only with her mom.
• Ambiguously Gay: Though Anne admits she's gay by the end of the film, it's left unclear what Sasha identifies as, though she'd apparently genuinely reciprocated Anne's feelings earlier.
• Ambiguous Situation: Anne gets into bed with Sasha at one point, we see them kissing and fondling a bit. Then it's cut to Anne waking up in bed the next day, with it unclear whether anything more happened.
• Bittersweet Ending: Anne is alone at the end of the film, while Cliff, Sasha and Sasha's mom get away with their actions toward her. Nonetheless, she's accepted her identity and gets a new bike.
• Coming-Out Story: This is the focus of the film, as Anna slowly comes out to her friend and herself.
• Crazy Jealous Guy: After Anne tells him she's attracted to a girl, Cliff (who'd earlier raped Anne) does all he can to break them apart, which includes trying to date Sasha himself.
• Did Not Get the Girl: Anne loses Sasha by the end of the film, but at least she came to terms with her sexuality.
• False Rape Accusation: Under pressure from her mother, Sasha says Anne forcefully kissed her (sexual assault, at least in some jurisdictions), when she actually initiated it. Her mother threatens to bring in the police if the photo of this is not removed from their yearbook.
• Forced Out of the Closet: Anne is outed by Cliff putting a picture into the yearbook which shows her and Sasha kissing at a club.
• Forceful Kiss: Sasha claims Anne forcibly kissed her when a photo of them kissing is put in the yearbook under pressure from her mother, but in fact she initiated it and the kiss was consensual.
• Gayngst: Anne suffers greatly throughout the film due to her awakening feelings. First she's raped by her friend, who was sure she felt attracted to him. Then he sabotages her relationship with the girl she's actually into, who then rejects her when a photo of them kissing is distributed, saying Anne forced her. By the end though she's come to terms with her sexuality and moved on.
• Gender-Blender Name: Due to "Sasha" also being a male name, Cliff doesn't realize at first that Anne's fallen for a girl when she tells him about her crush.
• Heel Realization: Cliff later realizes he'd forced Anne to have sex with him, and relates the story (without actually saying he did this) to the school counselor. Following this, he starts trying to stand up for Anne somewhat after he'd sabotaged her relationship with Sasha out of homophobia and jealousy.
• Heteronormative Crusader: Cliff reacts badly when Anne tells him she's attracted to a girl, and starts sabotaging their relationship out of homophobia mixed with jealousy (since he wants Anne). Sasha's mother also isn't happy at all to see it when Cliff puts a photo of them kissing in the yearbook, pushing Sasha into saying that Anne forced her and that she'll call the police if they don't expunge this.
• Incompatible Orientation: Cliff is attracted to Anne, and it appears he had been for some time. Anne, meanwhile, not only never thought of him that way but in fact is coming to realize that she's a lesbian.
• Karma Houdini: Cliff rapes Anne, Sasha and Sasha's mom falsely accuse her of sexual assault. None are ever punished for these things.
• Malicious Slander: Sasha, under pressure from her mother, claims Anne forcefully kissed her (she actually initiated it) when a photo surfaces. Her mother threatens to call the police if the photo isn't removed from their yearbook.
• Never My Fault: Cliff accuses Anne of leading him on into having sex (though she did no such thing, only viewing him as a friend), when in fact the circumstances show he raped her.
• Out of the Closet, Into the Fire: After she admits her attraction to a girl, Anne's best friend does everything possible to sabotage things between them out of homophobia and jealousy. His jealousy even leads to him raping her. After she's photographed while kissing Sasha, the object of her affection, Sasha's mother pressures her into claiming Anne had forced her to (Sasha actually initiated it). Their relationship naturally is destroyed, but it spurs Anne to accept her sexuality by the end of the film.
• Queer Romance: Anne falls for Sasha, another girl at her school, who gradually reciprocates the attraction but then pulls away.
• Rape as Drama: Cliff pushes Anne into having sex with him. Though she doesn't say no or actively resist it, she's clearly also not happy with this but he ignores every sign until later. Anne also later recounts once being sexually assaulted offscreen when a guy whom she met in a bar made her give him a hand job.
• STD Immunity: Averted, since near the end of the film Anne gets a test for HIV, worried due to being raped by Cliff when no protection was used. The result is negative.

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