Why Carl Jung is The Second Coming Of Jesus Christ
Jonathan Swift
In Form. I downloaded the form from the Medical Board's website just
yesterday afternoon then required but ten minutes to fill it in
completely.
Those will be the first two pages supplied to the Medical Board in a
binder also containing a half-inch stack of additional supporting
material that I have been laboring over with great care for well over
an entire month.
In addition will be a copy of Alice Miller's 1979 book Drama of the
Gifted Child. I didn't even dream about setting off to write the
final pages of my complaint until I was able to turn up a copy at a
big mall's bookstore somewhere in Sacramento early yesterday
afternoon.
While I have owned many copies of Drama of the Gifted Child, I have
given every single copy away to my own shrinks, because it explains in
a transparently simple and obvious way why they ever found Freshman
year Psych 101 so fascinating.
My mere mention of the book to my current therapist Susan Isaac led
her to be instantly overcome with grief, because she was similarly
overcome with that very same grief the entire time she read Doctor
MIller's short, simple lucidly written book: We Become Psychotherapist
as a direct result of suffering since the very earliest days of our
childhood of the very most savage and cruel form of child abuse known
to humanity.
I myself required no more than a quick read of Drama of the Gifted
Child's very first chapter - "How We Become Psychotherapists" - as
well as a two hour discussion of just that first chapter during my own
Psych 101 class at Caltech in the fall of 1984 to obtain my first
psychiatric inpatient admission just three days after that classroom
discussion.
I spent my entire time in the hospital's Intensive Care Unit, a very
small and securely locked ward under the close, careful and continuous
observation of several experienced Psychiatric Nurses.
Just three or four days after my discharge, I obtained as well my very
first Heaven-Sent Vision From God Revealed To Me In The Sky.
I only managed to work up the courage to read that first chapter for a
second time about a month and a half ago during my recent visit to my
mother in Vancouver, Washington. I expect many years to pass before I
*ever* work up the courage to read the rest of the book at all.
I am now *completely* recovered because nine months after I started
carrying around an incredibly expensive Canon A-1 camera so I could
photograph my hallucinations, I attended the only session I *ever* had
with Psychotherapist Andrea Shields of Big Bear Lake, California.
I fully intend to hunt Andrea Shields to the Ends of the Earth until
the very End of My Days because I forgot to bring my checkbook to our
session. I still owe her sixty bucks, you see.
Andrea suggested that my hallucinations of Yin-Yang symbols in the sky
might be because the Yin-Yang symbol is some kind of important
metaphor for me.
Her simple suggestion eventually enabled me not only to *completely*
recover from my mental illness, but upon discovering an extensive
collection of Carl Jung's books in the same Psychology section of the
store where I purchased Drama of the Gifted Child early yesterday
afternoon, I blew well over three hundred dollars on the purchase of
every single one of those Jungian Psychology books.
Andrea Shields was a Jungian Psychotherapist, you see. Carl Jung was
quite heavily into stuff like important metaphors. But he referred to
his metaphors as Archetypes, the Yin-Yang being one of the very most
important of my own Archetypes.
I originally regarded the Yin-Yang's metaphor as the Unification of
Art and Science, and I was indeed completely correct, but more
importantly, I now regarded it not only as the Unification of Man and
Woman, but of the Unification of My Father and My Mother on the day of
their wedding that eventually led to my own birth a few years later on
February 24, 1964.
What led to me to become quite floridly delusional simply by taking up
study of Astronomy and Physics at the California Institute of
Technology was the fact that while I have always been heavily into
Math and Science, I have always regarded Art, Writing and Music as
far, far more important to me than Math or Science could ever hope to
be:
I completely fucked off my entire High School career by blowing the
entire time acting, singing, dancing and building sets for my high
school theater. I sang Bass in my high school's Barbershop Quartet as
a Senior, during which time I was also my theater's set crew
director.
As set crew director, I never required more than a few simple pencil
sketches drawn for me by my Drama Coach Bob Wagner, a flat bed truck
and a purchase order number at a local lumberyard to leave the
audiences of every single one of the plays whose sets I constructed
completely dumbstruck with awe.
My entire time I was in high school, I ever only bothered doing my
homework outside of official school hours when my failure to do so
would result in flunking the class I was taking at the time.
See if you can figure out how I managed to pull off the *incredible*
stunt being the only one among my entire Advanced Placement English
Class to earn a perfect score of 5 on our AP English Exam a week
before we all graduated.
What's more, while the California Institute of Technology has *never*
been able to achieve any better than a ratio of six male student to
each female student, and despite the fact that I have always such
incredibly bad luck with woman that I have damn near committed suicide
several different times than for no other reason then my inability to
ever get a date...
I obtained my very first girlfriend but two weeks after she and I both
started our Frosh year at Caltech, my second shortly after she and I
broke up, and my third for the entire first quarter of both of our
Sophomore years.
Being Caltech students, all three of those girlfriends was incredibly
brilliant in her own special way:
My first girlfriend now looks after her two young children while
working out of her home as a a highly paid actuarial consultant.
Actuaries are the advanced statistical mathematicians who prepared
detailed and accurate estimates of what insurance companies should
charge for insurance policy premiums. She got the very first job of
her entire existence as an entry-level actuary immediately upon
graduation with her Master's Degree in Mathematics.
My second girlfriend is now a Top Secret National Security Agency
Cryptologist. But her Mathematics Degree is a Ph.D.
I don't have a clue what my third girlfriend is up to these days
because of the way she eventually broke up with me, but not only was
she an incredibly brilliant chemist, I regard her, and not Enigma nor
even my own ex-wife Bonita Hatcher as the Greatest Love that I have
ever known because she was so incredibly beautiful, devoted,
affectionate, loving and sexy. Good God, My Mind Simply Reels every
time I contemplate my slightest memory of her.
Some Archetypes are shared by entire cultures, with a few Archetypes
being shared by all humanity. Jung referred to these kinds of
Archetypes as The Collective Unconscious.
The Cross is an Archetype from the Collective Unconscious from the
Christian World.
Doomsday is an Archetype not only from all of humanity's Collective
Unconscious, but from all of humanity's very earliest days.
It is for just that very reason that I regard the most important
problem to solve by writing my Solving The Software Problem website as
not The Computer Software Problem, nor The Mental Software Problem,
but The Social Software Problem:
If *someone* doesn't solve The Social Software Problem *soon* by
elucidating a transparently simple and obvious, permanent and final
Solution to The Social Software Problem, it will not be long at all
before nuclear war breaks out all over the entire Planet of the
Earth.
If you don't believe me, go have a quick read of the following piece I
posted just a few days ago:
The Structure of Scientific Revolutions
http://www.softwareproblem.org/lets-eat-something-good-for-our-heads/
Jung hoped to solve that very same problem with his wafer-thin book
The Undiscovered Self. I required nothing more than to read the brief
description on The Undiscovered Self's back cover to *instantly* know
*everything* it would say.
I came quite close to put it right back on the bookshelf, then decided
instead to purchase it and read the whole thing over this coming
weekend.
See if you can figure out why my new K5 nick is now Jesus h-Bar
Christ.
Jesus h-Bar Christ has ALWAYS been my most important personal
Archetype of all you see, but you're going to have to guess just why
Jesus h-Bar Christ is so important to me.
Yer Pal,
Jesus h-Bar Christ
Bunnyslippers
PO Box 2202
Running Springs, CA 92382-2202
(909) 867-3873
Send her a check before you blow the rest of it.
Michael Crawford
I have always regarded you as Mary Magdalene. Now I know that you
really are Magdalene. My I repay your kindness over a glass of red
wine and a piece of unleavened bread?
Andrea getting her check in a nice thank you card, as well as a
complete copy of my entire medical board eomplaint binder, and a
gift-wrapped hardcopy anniversary edition of Drama of the Gifted
child, despite the fact that I am quite certain she read it long
before I ever did.
All I required to spend twenty-six years in the vast, empty reaches of
intergalactic space was to read just the first chapter then discuss it
with my Psych 101 class: "How We Become Psychotherapists"
By the time I returned back to the solar system, I now possess the
insight to make that complaint look just like a Doctoral Dissertation.
Only a half-dozen pages would get Anita's license revoked. They're
getting a dissertation instead because I hope to put stunts like hers
a thing of the past.
Even the instructor, a practicing psychotherapist himself, was
completely dumbstruck by my deep insight into Miller's work, despite
that having been the very first chapter of the very first psychology
because I ever so much as cracked upon, and that one classroom
discussion my only formal training in psychology until three years
later, when I took - but fortunately completed - the Intro to Psych
class at UCSC.
That's why I found myself quite puzzled right at the end of the lecture:
He calmly looked directly across the top of the long conference table,
bent his rather powerfully muscular right arm to a right angle,
tightened all the muscles in that arm to make it plainly apparent that
the guy spent two hours at the gym every single day, then pressed his
left palm down upon his right bicep, only to leave me even more
puzzled when he calmly said:
"If anyone would like to talk to me, come by my office after class."
Perhaps, it could be argued, I would have done well to have taken him
up on his offer. But those in the know understand that for me to have
done so, would have prevented me from leaving the most advanced kinds
of professional photographers completely dumbstruck with the most
primitive kind of fully automatic camera.
The digital camera I have now could win an aerial dogfight if you
pointed it out your jet's cockpit window. That's why I'm still quite
puzzled that my Heaven sent visions all over the entire sky from
horizon to horizon, continue to elude my efforts to capture them so I
can post their JPEGs on my website.
I just realized: I actually have enough cash on hand for a medium
format camera. That's what our wedding photographer used. We did so
because Bonita had a book that was all about preparing for one's
wedding day. It was quite stern about the fact that if one wanted to
make large blowups of one's weddding photos, to use the 35mm would
make those blowups incredibly grainy, because grain is enlarged along
with the picture, so you want to enlarge as little as absolutely
required.
Dumbstruck with awe at your radiant femininity,
Yer Pal,
Jesus of Nazareth