Re: [KeralaIyers] Fwd - Don't carry others' problems
Rajaram Krishnamurthy
I think son asked a right question. Below there are 2 Tirukkural; one yes individually each can achieve; but Thiruvalluvar also said, that, if the wrong paths are not regulated on time, there will only be bad situations. SO, MOTHWER AND WIFE NEED NOT ADD BUGS; BUT SHOULD CHECK WHERE NECESSARY; LEST FAMILY WILL RUIN.
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1 வினைத்திட்பம்
எண்ணிய எண்ணியாங்கு எய்து எண்ணியார்
திண்ணியர் ஆகப் பெறின். (௬௱௬௰௬ - 666)
எண்ணியவர் (எண்ணியபடியே செயல் ஆற்றுவதில்) உறுதியுடையவராக இருக்கப்பெற்றால் அவர் எண்ணியவற்றை எண்ணியவாறே அடைவர். (௬௱௬௰௬)
Enniya Enniyaangu Eydhu Enniyaar
Thinniyar Aakap Perin
eṇṇiya eṇṇiyāṅku eytu eṇṇiyār
tiṇṇiyar ākap peṟiṉ.
What is sought will be got as desired If only the seeker is determined.
ஹிந்தி (हिन्दी)
संकल्पित सब वस्तुएँ, यथा किया संकल्प ।
संकल्पक का जायगा, यदि वह दृढ़-संकल्प ॥ (६६६)
தெலுங்கு (తెలుగు)
కోరు వారి శ్రద్ధ కొఱతఁగాకున్నచో
కోరుకొన్న దెల్లఁ గూడివచ్చు. (౬౬౬)
மலையாளம் (മലയാളം)
കർമ്മധീരതയുണ്ടായാലുദ്ദിഷ്ട വിഷയങ്ങളിൽ ഉദ്ദേശിച്ചത് പോൽത്തന്നെ കാര്യപ്രാപ്തിയെളുപ്പമാം (൬൱൬൰൬)
கன்னடம் (ಕನ್ನಡ)
ಒಂದು ಕೆಲಸವನ್ನು ಮಾಡಬೇಕೆಂದು ಆಲೋಚಿಸಿದವರು, ಆ ಕೆಲಸದಲ್ಲಿ ನಿಶ್ಚಲವಾದ ನಿರ್ಧಾರವನ್ನು ತಳೆದಿದ್ದರೆ ಅವರು ಬಯಸಿದುದನ್ನು ಬಯಸಿದ ರೀತಿಯಲ್ಲೆ ಪಡೆಯುವರು. (೬೬೬)
சமஸ்கிருதம் (संस्कृतम्)
चिकीर्षितप्रकारेण ये धीरा: कार्यसाधने ।
चिकीर्षितं फलं चापि प्राप्नुवन्ति तथैव ते ॥ (६६६)
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Seeking the Aid of Great
இடிப்பாரை இல்லாத ஏமரா மன்னன்
கெடுப்பா ரிலானுங் கெடும். (௪௱௪௰௮ - 448)
Itippaarai Illaadha Emaraa Mannan
Ketuppaa Rilaanung Ketum
iṭippārai illāta ēmarā maṉṉaṉ
keṭuppā rilāṉuṅ keṭum.
A king unguarded with reproving counsel Needs no foes to come to grief.
Tamil (தமிழ்)
கடிந்து அறிவுரைக் கூறும் பெரியாரின் துணை இல்லாதக் காவலற்ற அரசன், தன்னைக் கெடுக்ககும் பகைவர் எவரும் இல்லாவிட்டாலும் கெடுவான். (௪௱௪௰௮)
Hindi (हिन्दी)
डांट-डपटते मित्र की, रक्षा बिन नरकंत ।
शत्रु बिना भी हानिकर, पा जाता है अंत ॥ (४४८)
Telugu (తెలుగు)
చొరపుజేసి చెప్పు గురువులు లేకున్న
తనకుఁ దానె చెడును ధరణి విభుఁడు. (౪౪౮)
Malayalam (മലയാളം)
നിർദ്ദേശം ധീരമായ് നൽകും മന്ത്രിയില്ലാത്ത മന്നവൻ കാവലില്ലാത്തവൻ; ശത്രു കൂടാതേ കെട്ടുപോയിടും (൪൱൪൰൮)
Kannada (ಕನ್ನಡ)
ಕಂಡಿತವಾದಿಗಳಾದ ಜ್ಞಾನಿಗಳ ಬೆಂಬಲವಿಲ್ಲದೆ, ಸ್ವೇಚ್ಛೆಯಾಗಿ ಆಳುವ ಅರಸನು, ನಾಶಪಡಿಸುವ ಹಗೆಗಳಿಲ್ಲದೆಯೂ, ಕೆಡುತ್ತಾನೆ. (೪೪೮)
Sanskrit (संस्कृतम्)
समये शिक्षकै: सद्भि: साङ्गत्यरहितो नृप: ।
शत्रुबाधाविहीनोऽपि स्वयमेव विनश्यति ॥ (४४८)
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K Rajaram IRS 171225
Enjoyed the reading and good moral message.RGK
--On Tue, 16 Dec 2025 at 16:21, 'N Sekar' via KeralaIyers<keral...@googlegroups.com> wrote:One evening, a husband casually called out from the doorway, “Honey, I’m heading out with my friends for a bit.”His wife, busy folding laundry, simply looked up and said, “Alright. Have fun.”He was a little surprised. Usually, she would remind him to be back early, to drive safely, to not stay out too late. But that night, there was no lecture — no sigh, no question, just a calm “Alright.”A few hours later, their teenage son walked into the kitchen, holding a sheet of paper. His face was pale. “Mom,” he said quietly, “I got my mock exam results… and they’re bad.”He waited, bracing himself for the familiar scolding. He knew she cared deeply about his studies, and he expected the usual talk about wasting time and not living up to his potential.But instead, she nodded and said, “Okay.”He blinked. “Just… okay?”“Yes,” she said gently. “If you study harder, you’ll do better next time. If not, you might have to repeat the semester. It’s your choice. I’ll support you either way.”He walked away puzzled, wondering when his mom had become so calm — almost peaceful.The next afternoon, their daughter came home looking nervous. She hesitated in the hallway before stepping into the living room. “Mom,” she said, voice trembling, “I… I crashed the car. Just a small dent, but it’s bad.”Her mother didn’t shout, didn’t scold, didn’t even raise an eyebrow. She just said, “Alright. Take it to the repair shop tomorrow and have it fixed.”The girl stood frozen. “You’re… not mad?”Her mother smiled softly. “No. Getting angry won’t uncrash the car. Just make sure you drive more carefully next time.”By now, everyone in the house was starting to get worried. This woman — their wife, their mother — was acting nothing like her usual self. She used to be fiery, quick to stress, quick to lecture. Now, she was calm, collected, almost serene.They began whispering to each other. Is something wrong? Is she feeling okay? Did something happen?Finally, that evening, they all sat her down at the kitchen table.“Honey,” her husband said, “you’ve been acting… different. You don’t get upset anymore. You don’t react to anything. Is everything alright?”She looked around at the faces she loved — the people who had tested her patience for years without even meaning to — and smiled.“Nothing’s wrong,” she said. “Everything is exactly how it should be. I’ve just learned something important.”They waited.“It took me a long time to realize,” she continued, “that every person is responsible for their own life.”Her husband frowned slightly. “What do you mean?”She folded her hands on the table. “I used to worry about everything. If you were late, I worried. If the kids did badly in school, I blamed myself. If something broke, I got angry. If anyone was unhappy, I tried to fix it. I carried everyone’s problems on my shoulders. But I’ve learned something — all that worrying doesn’t solve their problems. It only ruins my peace.”Her daughter looked down, quietly listening.She went on, her voice steady but soft. “I realized that my anxiety doesn’t help anyone. My stress doesn’t make your lives easier — it just makes mine harder. I can advise you, love you, and support you, but I can’t live your lives for you. Whatever decisions you make, you’re the ones who will face the results. Good or bad.”She paused for a moment, then smiled again. “So I decided to stop trying to control what isn’t mine to control.”Her son leaned forward. “You mean… you don’t care what happens?”She shook her head gently. “Oh, I care deeply. But caring and controlling are not the same. I can care without losing my peace. I can love you without taking your burdens as my own.”The room fell quiet.She looked at each of them in turn — her husband, her son, her daughter — and said, “My job is to love you, guide you, and be here when you need me. But your job is to live your own life. To make choices. To face the results. That’s how you grow.”She leaned back in her chair, eyes shining. “So now, when something goes wrong, I remind myself — it’s not mine to fix. I’ll stay calm. I’ll trust you to learn from it. Because that’s what life is — one lesson after another.”No one spoke for a while. The house was still, but something had shifted.Her husband reached for her hand and said, “I think you just taught all of us something.”She smiled again. “Maybe. But it’s something I had to learn the hard way.”That night, everyone thought about her words.The son went back to his books, not because his mother yelled, but because he realized it was his responsibility to do better. The daughter scheduled the car repair herself and learned how insurance claims worked. The husband called before going out the next time — not because she demanded it, but because he wanted to.And slowly, the home began to feel lighter.No one walked on eggshells anymore. No one waited for an explosion. Everyone started handling their own problems — not out of fear, but out of understanding.Because when one person in a family chooses peace, it spreads.When one person stops trying to control everything, everyone else starts learning self-control.And that’s how calmness becomes contagious.#family #familytime #familyfriendly #familylove #familyfirst #lifehacks #lifelessons #loveyou--
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