Passive aggressive personality disorder
cna...@gmail.com
I'm a college student. My roommate has papd according to the DSM-IV. He
also is obsessed with Native American culture even though he is 100
percent white. On morning I awoke to an anti-white comment, which
caught me off guard. Of the many other things that stick out, he cannot
watch one TV channel for more than 5 minutes at a time. Obviously, I
cannot put him directly into the help he needs. What can I do?
wyatteh...@yahoo.com
behavior has impaired his ability to function in society or put the
welfare of others at risk. Even from this short description, I can
guess your roommate may not be the most predictable or comfortable
person to be around. And it appears that you have to live with him. He
may not make much sense to you, but is he impossible to get along with.
I have worked in places where I have had to tolerate political rants
from colleagues in adjacent offices (or for that matter even my
psychology professors), and it always seemed odd they should presume
that I was "on board with them." I yessed them on for about sixty
seconds before I excused myself. Now, in these instances, there was no
DSM diagnosis to slap them with, but even if your roommate does meet
DSM-IV diagnostic criteria for that personality disorder, does that
warrant an interventionist position on all of his unconventional and
annoying tendencies?
Every case is different, and I don't know enough about the individual
you presented here. The best solution here may be to help yourself
...out of your living arrangement. I don't think there's anything else
you can do unless your roommate presents a danger to himself or others.
best,
Wyatt Ehrenfels
http://www.fireflySun.com/news.html
Craig
My other roommate is my best friend and we are also going to be
roommates at the same med school. I would never consider moving out,
although that does make the most sense. Now I simply go to the library
until midnight when he goes to bed and of course I'm getting tons of
work done so I can't complain in that sense.
It only bothers me more in thought. When I am present, he lies to his
lies to and ignores his concerned parents on the phone. I find it hard
to respect someone who doesn't at least treat his parents with respect
who have sent him to this wonderful college. He doesn't even make an
attempt to attend to vital pre-med classes and jokes how there is no
point in trying. He has an academic counselor, but lies to her and
makes up fake schedules of what he does everyday.
You're right in that he poses no direct threat to anyone beyond his own
future currently. However, I'm taking ethics right now and find it hard
to sit by when I know someone is on a crash course with life. I know
one of the hallmarks of passive-aggressive is not listening to any form
of authority and I don't see how this could ever correct itself whether
he officially has that or not. The resident advisor came to talk with
him and they had a productive long discussion in which he laid out his
insecurities and stated he understood what was going on and a will to
change. However, the second the RA left, he went back to an all night
of TV. I really think he means well, but lacks the ability to control
his own life and I would imagine that is a clinical problem that will
manifest itself in other ways later on.
Of course, my other roommate likes to make fun of him behind his back
and I often feel the urge to do so as well, but I feel it is not right
since he does have a real disorder, which rather calls for compassion.
Hence, my ultimate dilemma, do I just write him off as a lazy son of a
gun, or continue to realize there is a further problem even though as
I'm 6 years shy of a medical degree, I hold no real power.
Thanks,
Craig
wyatteh...@yahoo.com
tough to treat because the personality is such a stable and pervasive
system and they often were the only means the person could come up with
to cope with some problem. People with personality disorders of any
kind (not just those codified in the DSM) are regarded as roundly
toxic, like tumors that grew so large as to replace the person entirely
with some one-dimensional "humanoid" like a character you meet in your
dreams.
I imagine one of the most frustrating things is dealing with someone
ambivalent about their own self-worth and vacillating between extremes
of self-loathing and entitlement. (It's hard enough to deal with
someone certain about their worthlessness, but at least those guys are
predictable and manageable). Passive-aggressives hate being controlled
by the expectations of others (and everything is perceived that way)
and yet because they fear confrontation, they have to act in ways that
are passively provocative, thus making your reaction (if for example,
you're the constraint of the moment) seem like your problem and not
his.
I also know someone on the passive-aggressive spectrum and sometimes he
seems like a really sweet guy, but boy can things turn around in a
hurry. It's like flipping a light switch. If you are not providing
the help on which he is dependent, you are part of the hindrance. He
never intends to carry out any of his threats (he rants a lot) but his
threats are often so melodramatic, that it elicits a reply from others
he should know would offend his curmudgeonly dispeptic sensibilities.
And it just escalates from there until the whole room is consumed in
argument.
Wyatt Ehrenfels