i need help
livey
think one of my bi friends is cute but i still like guys. i dont know
if im gay straight bi or what. please help me. your probably thinking
in bi. well what if i like girls more than guys but i still like guys.
my parents say that if i told them i was gay, they would still love me
but i dont belive them. i need someone to talk to. please help me!!!
livey mickey
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********************** approved by ***************************
Kalev Hunt
Your Friendly Neighbourhood Co-Moderator
soc.support.youth.gay-lesbian-bi
To contact the moderators, ssygl...@ssyglb.net
To get the FAQ, surf http://www.ssyglb.org/
******************************************************************
Bruce Mirken
This sounds like a pretty confusing time in your life. But the main thing
you need to understand right now is that that's perfectly normal. You don't
need to label yourself yet. You may ultimately consider yourself bi, maybe
not, but if it takes you a while to figure it all out, that's just fine.
Hey, I didn't figure it out till I was 21, so you're well ahead of me!!!
If you don't feel comfortable talking to your parents yet -- and it's true
that some parents react worse than they expect to, or their kids expect them
to -- you might try looking for your local chapter of PFLAG: Parents,
Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays. You can find your nearest chapter
on their Web site, www.pflag.org.
Bruce Mirken
"livey" <Sing...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:E1GbWeQ-...@richmond.servershost.net...
Alterek
> hi im a 13 year old girl.i need help. i look at girls in a lusty way. i
> think one of my bi friends is cute but i still like guys. i dont know
> if im gay straight bi or what. please help me. your probably thinking
> in bi. well what if i like girls more than guys but i still like guys.
> my parents say that if i told them i was gay, they would still love me
> but i dont belive them. i need someone to talk to. please help me!!!
Hey Livey!
In your age the sexuality is still developing and your experiences can "fine
tune" this sexuality. It would be better for you if you stick with guys, at
least for some time. There's nothing bad in being gay, but straights simply
have easier lifes.
Do you have any reasons not to believe your parents? At first you're their
daughter. If they say that they will still love you, they will do.
Greetings.
Alan Young
<Sing...@aol.com> wrote:
> hi im a 13 year old girl.i need help. i look at girls in a lusty way. i
> think one of my bi friends is cute but i still like guys. i dont know
> if im gay straight bi or what. please help me.
There's nothing wrong with what you're feeling, and you don't have to
do anything about them.
One of the things you particularly *don't* have to do is give yourself
a label. It's hard enough just trying to be yourself, without also
having to live up to other people's expectations. If people expect you
to be straight, that's not helpful to you; but substitute "gay" or "bi"
or anything else doesn't help, either. Just accept your feelings, and
do your best to figure out how to live your life each day.
Nothing you decide now is going to be particularly real in a year or
two, anyway.
> my parents say that if i told them i was gay, they would still love me
> but i dont belive them.
Why not?
A lot of teens have a hard time communicating with their parents (and
vice versa!!) about sexuality. Even parents who don't want to consider
the possibility of having a queer kid often come around and find that
love overrides prejudice. Since your folks have already expressed being
open to the idea, I can't imagine why you shouldn't believe them,
unless they are compulsive liars...???
Of course, the hard part is always loving yourself, first. If you can
do that, other people usually join you. If you can't, that would
explain why you find it hard to believe that other people can.
Most adults understand that most teens have some degree of doubt about
their sexuality. I hope you'll talk to your folks, or someone else you
can trust, just so you'll have the experience of expressing your
confusion and *not* being rejected because of it.
--
alan
You cannot reason a person out of a position that he did not reason
himself into to begin with.
--Jonathan Swift
Kalev Hunt
as a person so please don't take what I say as gospel. --Kalev]
On Thu, 2 Nov 2006 12:09:25 CST, Alterek <alt...@o2.pl> wrote:
>Spinacz biurowy, livey <Sing...@aol.com>!
>
>> hi im a 13 year old girl.i need help. i look at girls in a lusty way. i
>> think one of my bi friends is cute but i still like guys. i dont know
>> if im gay straight bi or what. please help me. your probably thinking
>> in bi. well what if i like girls more than guys but i still like guys.
>> my parents say that if i told them i was gay, they would still love me
>> but i dont belive them. i need someone to talk to. please help me!!!
>
>Hey Livey!
>
>In your age the sexuality is still developing and your experiences can "fine
>tune" this sexuality. It would be better for you if you stick with guys, at
>least for some time. There's nothing bad in being gay, but straights simply
>have easier lifes.
>
>Do you have any reasons not to believe your parents? At first you're their
>daughter. If they say that they will still love you, they will do.
>
>Greetings.
I don't think that's necessarily very good advice. You're assuming that just
because the original poster is young, her feelings for girls are, essentially, a
"phase." And I don't think it's true that people can "fine tune" their
sexuality to the extent that they can just rid themselves of feelings for people
of the same gender. That's dangerously close to endorsing reparative therapy,
which nearly all legitimate psychologists and mental health professionals have
denounced.
For instance, what if Livey finds she can't "let go" of her feelings for girls?
Has she failed in her "fine tuning" process? I don't think so.
Kalev
--
Walking on eggshells isn't all it's cracked up to be.