Bad karma
Avras Acliam
The other night I had a very strange dream. I'm not too sure if its
true or not... but here it goes. In my previous life I was actually
female, and then I died... I was very happy being a girl, just being
me. I was also I might say quite a good girl, well until.. Shortly
before I died (in rather unfortunate circumstances), however, I did
some rather awful things... I remember in my dream what they were,
although I'd rather not describe them to you (yes, very awful things),
and then I died, and then after a while I was born again, as a boy...
I'm not as I've mentioned happy being a boy, I wish I was a girl. But
anyway, in this dream at the end I'm told by some spirits that I was
so born as punishment for those awful things that I did when I was a
woman... Bad Karma, I suppose. I'm not saying its necessarily bad
karma to be born as male by the way, but I think it is bad karma to be
born as what you don't want to be... so I suppose it wasn't necessary
bad for someone else but its bad for me...
Question: Am I going insane? Today, I have been somewhat suspecting I
have.
AVRAS
Jessica
*shrug*
I believe in re-incarnation. Do I believe it is responsible for the fact
that I'm Trans? Not completely. I do, however believe that there are lessons
to be learned in this, so it is a natural progression of lives to end up
here.
As for going insane well. Being Trans is by definition insanity. It is a
complete and utter rejection of reality. Reality says I am a boy, and I
reject that. I am a girl. What could be more insane?
"Dot" <d...@dot.dot> wrote in message
news:2o02m1p51vfd8jt3l...@4ax.com...
> On 27 Oct 2005 01:53:05 -0700, "Avras Acliam" <avras_...@yahoo.com>
> wrote:
>
>>Question: Am I going insane?
>
> Probably not. However, if you continue over-analysing every single thing
> you're going to end up driving yourself that way.
>
> As for the "former life" stuff... not bloody likely. Far more likely
> you're
> making up plausible stories to sidestep the feelings you can't bear to
> deal
> with. Once again my suggestion is that you buck up the courage to look
> the
> whole thing in the eye, get informed, look beyond the common garbage
> transies are handed, learn, question, study... deal with it.
>
> From my own experience I can testify that the weird dreams and horrific
> self-doubt that sponsored them diminished in direct proportion to my
> willingness to deal with the issues.
>
>
laso...@hotmail.co.uk
Dot wrote:
> On 27 Oct 2005 01:53:05 -0700, "Avras Acliam" <avras_...@yahoo.com>
> wrote:
>
> >Question: Am I going insane?
>
laso...@hotmail.co.uk
Dot wrote:
> On Thu, 27 Oct 2005 12:52:11 -0500, "Jessica" <jessic...@myrist.net>
> wrote:
>
> >Careful now, some of us do believe in re-incarnation.
>
> Well, I suppose it's a convenient belief in the trans state. However, it is
> important to understand that transgender identity should not need an excuse.
> It is something that has, does and will happen to a certain percentage of
> any population of people. It's as natural as being left handed, gay, or red
> haired. It is membership in a minority group and thus should not be written
> off with BS excuses about "mental disorders" or "previous lives"... it
> should be honored and recognized as we do with race, birthplace, age, sexual
> orientation and the rest of a list of items that are not of an individual's
> choosing.
>
> You are who you are... trying to find excuses or make it go away is trying
> to make yourself go away. Self-acceptance is the only way to deal with this
> that actually addresses the problem...
>
>
> >I believe in re-incarnation. Do I believe it is responsible for the fact
> >that I'm Trans? Not completely.
>
> Ok, lets say, for argument sake that it *does* explain why you are
> transgender identified.
>
> Does that explain how you *feel* about being transgender identified?
> Does it make the "dysphoria" any less?
> Does it actually solve the problem?
>
> Again, as I mentioned in our last exchange, *how we feel about it* is almost
> entirely a product of growing up in a transphobic society; the result of a
> constant drivel of social messages telling us that being transgendered is
> bad... making us want to become cisgendered when in fact, were we to become
> cisgendered all we would really accomplish is the erasure of our true
> selves.
>
> Moreover... if you are transgender identified now, how do you know you
> haven't always been transgender identified in every life you've previously
> lived?
>
> See my point here... as an excuse it explains nothing and it doesn't solve
> any of the real problems you're facing.
>
>
> >I do, however believe that there are lessons
> >to be learned in this, so it is a natural progression of lives to end up
> >here.
>
> Perhaps the best lesson you can take from this is one of pragmatism. You
> live *now*. How you lived before isn't going to change a damned thing in
> your current situation... making excuses, seeking ethereal truths, does
> nothing to help you in the here and now.
>
> The problem is not *that* you are transgendered.
> The problem is not *why* you are transgendered.
> The problem is *how* you deal with being transgendered.
>
>
> >As for going insane well. Being Trans is by definition insanity.
>
> The hell it is. THAT is bullshit from a society that treats the
> transgendered very badly. The truth is that being transgender identified is
> nothing more or less than a fluke of birth.
>
> Think about this for a bit...
>
> I have no problem whatsoever with being transgendered. I've crosslived for
> 20 years and have recently moved to a more androgynous presentation as
> medical issues and age catch up to me. So... how is it that I can be
> completely comfortable in my own skin, yet you are having weird dreams and
> think you are going insane?
>
> The difference? I *accept* who and what I am. I have incorporated it into
> my life and I make no secret of it. I am free of all shame and guilt over
> being woman-male. I can say without hesitation that being transgendered is
> merely a fact in my life and has absolutely no meaning beyond that.
>
>
> >It is a
> >complete and utter rejection of reality. Reality says I am a boy, and I
> >reject that. I am a girl. What could be more insane?
>
> What could be more insane?
>
> Beating yourself up over a situation you can't change. Now THAT is true
> insanity.
>
> "Insanity is to spend your life repeatedly doing the exact same things while
> expecting a different outcome."... Freud?
>
> You ARE transgendered... accept it.
pmb...@yahoo.com
me about 8 years ago. I said I was Pat Garret. now I think its hogwash,
but I do have an afinity for guns, horses and the law..
you are more sane than I am., I am sure but I do sometimes worry about
me.
If you can ask that question to others including this group, you have
to be pretty normal for asking, but a littl of to ask any of us.
Pauline Overby