questions to all
n leila roberts
and got some great welcomes... thanks to everyone for being so gracious.
I wonder if anyone knows how I could get a hold of the posted replies to
my earlier posting in late December... I was away and didn't get to see
any of them.
I have a few questions for those of you in the transgendered community who
are in the process of, or have ever thought about transforming your
sex/gender to any degree. The reason I am asking is, outside of my own
curiosity, I am writing a B.A. thesis on Western transgender commmunities
- my general point is that I don't believe that our society's two sexes
are anatomically or psychologically inevitable. I see gender as a
continuum, and gender categories as structures created toward an end...
maybe reproduction. I would love to hear from people who agree or
disagree with me, or who wouldn't mind telling me their story, to help me
better understand transgenderindividuals; it can be really limiting to
work with abstract ideas and 'theories' all the time! If you don't mind
if I quote you, please tell me what name you'd like me to use... and if I
quote you, you will of course get a copy of the paper when it's finished
in April.
-- I'm curious about what people think of a transsexual identity, in and
of itself. Was there a certain point at which you came into awareness of
it? I've heard some people say they finally put a name to their
unhappiness when a psychologist "diagnosed" them, and some have said
they've felt "crossed" since very early childhood. At what point does a
transsexual identity become a man or woman identification, depending on
the gender of your choice? Do you ever really feel as if you've moved
from that non-binary existence as a transsexual into a real man or woman?
(Don't mistake me, here... as far as I'm concerned, a 'real' man or woman
is whoever wants to be one.)
-- Are there any particular childhood memories which stand out, when you
think about your own transsexuality? Many psychologists believe very
strongly that it is a certain kind of childhood which 'causes'
transsexuality. I think it's a load of bullshit, because I think
transsexuals have as many different kinds of childhoods as anyone else.
I'd love to have you tell me what you think, and if you have any stories
to either prove or disprove that.
-- I'm especially curious about the difference between wanting a complete
hormonal and surgical transformation; and being satisfied with partial
change - maybe some hormone work, some cross-dressing. I really want to
understand the feeling of revulsion so many transsexuals express toward
their birth-genitals. For those of you who are post-op, are you satisfied
with your body and life?
There are a million more questions popping up, now that I've started...
but this is enough for now. I would really appreciate any answers - or
comments on what I am trying to do - any time you feel like responding.
My e-mail is nrob...@cc.brynmawr.edu, and snail-mail is Box C-1540/ Bryn
Mawr College/ Bryn Mawr, PA 19010.
THANKS TO EVERYONE AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!
BeccaF
When did I "come into awareness" of my transsexual identity? About age 10
is my guess. The only trouble was, I had no idea what this thing was all
about. It progressed into shame, guilt, and self-loathing. For me,
putting the name "transsexualism" to my condition required a complete
change of perspective, one which I achieved on my own (albeit with several
months worth of lurking in alt.transgendered).
When does a transsexual identity become a male or female identifiction?
Hard to say. All I know is that for much of my life, I wished I'd been
born female but never dreamed I could be. Early last summer, I changed my
mind about that.
Any childhood memories that stand out, when thinking about my TS-ism?
Well, I had a number of confusing dreams when I was young, in which at
first I was dressed as and mistaken for being female. A little later on,
these changed so that I actually was female. These dreams were disturbing
and exciting.
I can think of absolutely no external events that affected my gender
identity one way or another. Everything seems to have come from inside.
No adult ever dressed me like a girl, nor did my parents express a wish
for me to have been a daughter instead of son. I was never sexually
abused.
As for the difference between wanting a partial versus complete hormonal
and surgical transformation, I can only speak for my own preferences. I
would rather have either a completely male or completely female body (or
as close as I can get). For me, stopping somewhere in between feels
wrong. I know that once I've been on hormones for a while, it'll become
harder and harder for anyone looking at me to identify me as having been
male. But the problem is, when I'm alone, I'd know I still have the wrong
parts.
My Best,
Rebecca Forrest