Hey
Mike Tyo
Well this might seem quick to some of you, but you'll recall that a
while back I had generated quite a controversy over my wife having GBS, etc;
and there was a pending separation and eventual divorce because of other
fundamental disagreements that came about prior to and since the surgery.
To make a long story slightly shorter, that all happened. I must say
that my stress level has gone way down to a more tolerable situation.
However, there is good news out of all this, and I never dreamed that it
would happen this quickly. I've met someone! Within a couple weeks, she'll
be here with me - and in time, after the divorce is finalized, we will be
married.
I won't go into a whole lot of detail as to how it happened - other than to
say that technology can be a wonderful thing if it's used wisely.
Cheers,
Mike
Siobhan Perricone
>However, there is good news out of all this, and I never dreamed that it
>would happen this quickly. I've met someone! Within a couple weeks, she'll
>be here with me - and in time, after the divorce is finalized, we will be
>married.
>
>I won't go into a whole lot of detail as to how it happened - other than to
>say that technology can be a wonderful thing if it's used wisely.
Please at least tell me that you've met face to face at least once before
you made this decision? :)
There is an awful lot of research that shows the sense of smell is
incredibly important for the selection of mates, especially with women.
There are a lot of genetic factors in this, but the upshot is, if someone
doesn't "smell right" to the other person, the relationship isn't very
likely to work out. That's why meeting face to face is important because no
matter how mentally and emotionally compatible you are, if you don't smell
right to her, then there's always going to be this undercurrent of
irritation.
Not trying to be a doomsayer, and I truly hope this works out for you, but
just trying to encourage a little realism. :) Good luck!
--
Siobhan Perricone
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who
cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn,
and relearn." -- Alvin Toffler
Mike Tyo
news:tbrhi2t9r1s4bc11u...@4ax.com...
> Please at least tell me that you've met face to face at least once before
> you made this decision? :)
>
> There is an awful lot of research that shows the sense of smell is
> incredibly important for the selection of mates, especially with women.
We'll be meeting face to face within a couple weeks. I'm sure that after
that we'll certainly have a better idea of what's going on. Everything else
seems right at this point, so I'm reasonably confident that it'll work out.
I hadn't actually heard about what you had discussed earlier, but I
shall keep it in mind as I'm checking everything else out.
Mike
Siobhan Perricone
>> Please at least tell me that you've met face to face at least once before
>> you made this decision? :)
>>
>> There is an awful lot of research that shows the sense of smell is
>> incredibly important for the selection of mates, especially with women.
>> <rest smipped>
>
> We'll be meeting face to face within a couple weeks. I'm sure that after
Mike, I ... you know this is really hard to say in face of how happy you're
sounding but *please* be careful. No, I'm not saying to worry that she's
insane or an axe murderer or anything like that. But you're just coming out
of a marriage, you've not met face to face, and the internet gives a very
powerful sense of intimacy that seems very real, but isn't. I'm gonna say
that again because it's so important, the sense of intimacy you have gained
from your conversations isn't something you can rely on so strongly.
I am speaking from *experience* here. I'm not some person who read about
someone's sister's aunt who once heard about a bad thing that happened from
an internet connection.
I have been communicating via computer networks using chatters and BBSes
and national networks since 1983. I have been meeting people face to face
that I chatted with in all these fora since then, as well. I met my husband
on a computer network when I lived in Alaska and he lived on Long Island.
He moved to Alaska to be with me, and we were fortunate that it worked out.
But before him there were many meetings for me that went badly. One of the
men (well, boy, actually, he was 18 or 19 when he flew out to be my
*roommate*) actually assaulted me at one point because I got angry at him
about my guinea pig dying while I was away on business, and my cat being
taken away by the woman who had given it to me.
Another one I had actually gotten so far as to decide he was the man for
me, and we'd pretty much decided to get married. Then we met face to face
(at my expense), and he wasn't anything like I'd thought he was, or like
I'd built up in my mind. I ended up breaking it off, and it hurt both of
us, a lot.
Both my husband and I knew beforehand that it was entirely possible we
wouldn't actually get along, so we agreed, in advance, that even if it
didn't work out romantically, we'd still be roommates and friends. We were
optimistic about our chances, hoping that we'd click when we met face to
face, but at the same time we knew that it was very likely we wouldn't. We
decided in advance that we wouldn't blame each other for this because very
often people just don't have the same chemistry face to face. It's not
unusual at all for this to happen.
All I'm trying to say is, for both your sakes, please don't let yourself
float away on the romance of it all, or the false sense of intimacy your
conversations have given you. There are myriad things about this woman you
don't know, and vice versa. Things that have a strong chance of being deal
breakers that neither of you have thought to mention to the other, or are
even aware of as something that could be an issue for someone else.
I hope and pray that this works out for you, that I turn out to be a
chicken little, but if I am, you having taken some precautions to ensure
neither of you get hurt if things don't work out won't hurt either of you
in the long run, and you can have a fond laugh at my expense at your tenth
wedding anniversary. But if it turns out that you end up being
incompatible, for whatever reason, the higher you've allowed yourselves to
fly, the harder you're going to fall when it comes crashing down around
you.
I just worry about you and your situation, Mike. You've been through so
much heartache... Maybe you could wrap yourself in just a bit of bubble
wrap?