More Fun and Games :-(

0 views
Skip to first unread message

James D. Milton

unread,
Aug 26, 1998, 3:00:00 AM8/26/98
to
<Caution! Beginning of Major Rant!>

Will today never end??? My wife (separated) burst in upon my afternoon
siesta (in a vain attempt to avoid the heat by turning 3 fans on me) and
wanted me to sign over my life insurance to her so she can get a low cost
loan. She recently bought a new computer and is now running low on money.
She does not work outside of the home.

Since our son came home from the hospital, it was as if I no longer
existed. I am totally convinced that my wife and son are still entrapped
in a deeply codependent relationship. After a few years of tying to
compete for the attentions of my wife, I realized that I just could not
make a dent in their bond with one another. So I slowly ceased even
trying. :-(

Love dies hard (at least with me) -- but eventually it does die. I kept
my TAD continuing to announce this was the home of the three of us. I had
hopes ... never mind. So perhaps it's time (past time?) to record another
message reflecting my permanently solitary status? <Sigh>

I discussed the lack of air conditioning situation with my wife. Her
solution was for me to move out of the house, she would then buy another
swamp cooler, and then move back into the house with our son. Who knows?
Perhaps that does make some sense after all? However I haven't the
slightest idea of where I would go. I had hoped to die in my own bed in
my own house. Apparently that is just not meant to be.

FYI during the years of our marriage, I earned 99+% of the income. I
don't object at all to giving her 50% or 67%. But she has taken 100%.

I assure you this was NOT the woman I married. She changed radically when
we adopted our son. I also changed radically when I had a breakdown. We
are now very clearly on very different wavelengths. We can no longer
communicate. Our phone conversations frequently end with me slamming down
the phone when I just can't take it any longer. I'm certainly not proud
of that fact. :-(

The latest little disagreement was that she has recently gotten an AOL
account. She said that she was no longer going to pay for my Primenet
account. I would have to switch over to AOL since they allow up to 5
Internet IDs. I then told her that some kind folks on the BP NGs had
apparently thought enough of my posts, that they paid my ISP bills for 3
months. She immediately accused me of "begging for money" on the Net.
<Sigh!!!> There is just no way I can ever win -- or even be in the same
league with her.

I could be wrong but doesn't AOL require that all family members reside
at the same location in order to have a single account? I believe that
Primenet does. My wife said that no one would ever know and we could just
share one account. I would have to go offline whenever she or Paul wanted
to go online. How I would know when that was, I don't sure don't know.

Comments???

<End of Rant>

The only silver lining that I can see in all of this gloom and doom is
that perhaps she would allow me to have 2 of the 5 Net names. One I would
use my real name. The other I could change on a semi-hourly basis to
cause confusion and dissension in the BP ranks. But that has already been
done all too successfully hasn't it?

Still waiting for a miracle -- anytime soon!
James D. (Dejected Doormat) Milton

**************************************************************************

You Know You Are In El Paso When ...

You notice your radiator is overheating ... before you start your car.

You no longer associate bridges over rivers with water.

The thermometer in the lid of your Bar-B-Que Grill shows 150 degrees F,
before you light it.

You hear the weather forecast for 105 degrees F without flinching.

You discover, in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car,
because your steering wheel is so hot.

You can make instant sun tea or sun tea instantly.

You run the house a/c in the middle of winter so you can use your
fireplace.

The best parking is determined by shade ... not distance.

Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

Sunscreen is sold year round, it is always kept right at the checkout
counter.

Sunscreen with less than 50 SPF is called "hand lotion".

You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mail box.

Some fools market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will
actually buy them. Worse ... a lot of fools actually try to jog.

Hot air balloons can't rise because the outside air is hotter than the
air inside the balloon.

You see two trees fighting over a dog.

You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

Steve Spitsnogle

unread,
Aug 26, 1998, 3:00:00 AM8/26/98
to James D. Milton
The issue is the life insurance. It is of value, and she wants it, or
control of it, or whatever. Would she even 'negotiate' with you unless
you had something she wanted more than what she was willing to offer?
Get that lawyer, and do it before you say another single word to her.


James D. Milton wrote:

Keith Hardwick

unread,
Aug 27, 1998, 3:00:00 AM8/27/98
to
Why didn't I think of a lawyer? <slapping forehead>
James, I know you were not in your right mind when you
signed over your house and let that woman who is not who you
married take all of your money. She took YOUR money and
signed up for AOL with it! Oh the inhumanity of it all.

Get a lawyer and renegotiate. I don't care what you signed
and when, no judge or jury is gonna hold you to a deal
whereby you gave up 100% of everything. Am I wrong,
newsgroup?

Keith


Enigmatic Iris

unread,
Aug 27, 1998, 3:00:00 AM8/27/98
to
Hi there James.....
As a youth on this NG..and a recent hire by Compaq Corp. :o) (smile
for me old man.) I believe I should throw my two cents inside. About
this life ins. thing..if you even place that pen to the document, you
can expect me to fly from Houston..my residence, to yours, and boot
you in the rear quarters personally. This "need" for the money is
commonly called greed. I am quite sure at one time your
seperated-wife was a very lovely woman...but right now, all I can
legitimately say is that you have a Class A, premordial, self
gratifying leech on your hands. (sorry if that offended you, James.)
The fact that your pleas were heard on this NG for $ were for a human
reason...(which does not need to be explained, you are such a valued
member of our team...who has an icredible wit an insight on all of
our conditions it was more than justified, not a "beggeing" fest,
dear James.)and the sickening realization your partner there is so
callous to YOUR needs but figures A. You should move out(resident
breadwinner and all) B. cares more for the adopted son than for the
respect and dignity of her mate, and C. that the only worth you have
in this world is your cold body in the ground..lame reference to your
life insurance document....it reminds me of soo many people. And I
want you to not even think about signing that paper. I will hold to
my promise. Trust me. Tell your "friend" there to hold her horses,
and that as a competent adult (like you are) you WILL NOT sign
anything until you have it reviewed first by a lawyer, anbd secondly
by your p-doc..so he/she gains insight to this greedy person...

And, I think this is my final statement, since i too live in
Texas.......:o)
I had a car...I drove it far..then one day..I got carried away...and
now it's lying broken in some rip off artist's yard.

nah..what i meant to say..beside prelude to my horrible wreck...is
it's hotter than Hades, and it's 12 pm!

Much love...and apologies for not writing more often..dealing with
crap..and getting my J-O-B-! :o) Melanie, irrepressable, and
encouraging.

P.S. ((((((((((((((((((((((( CYBER HUGS COS THAT'S THE BEST WAY
TO GET EM..ESP. MINE..COS I HUG FER
EVER.))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


Kiki

unread,
Aug 27, 1998, 3:00:00 AM8/27/98
to Enigmatic Iris
M,

You are toooo wise for your years.....

James - if you're still lurking - listen to the lassie. P.S. You never
asked for money on the NG - your friends decided to give you a gift for
everything you've done for us. P.S. We still have your phone number and
address - so don't think we will forget about you.

Ki

Howard

unread,
Aug 27, 1998, 3:00:00 AM8/27/98
to James D. Milton
James D. Milton wrote:
>
> <Caution! Beginning of Major Rant!>
>
snip:

Man oh Man is this what divorce is. I know how my wife has changed.
well you hang in there. I have not even got to vist you yet. I realy
am going to try and see some of you this winter the exchange may keep me
from doing this.
The energizer bunny with his 65 cent dollar.

Barrie

unread,
Aug 27, 1998, 3:00:00 AM8/27/98
to
Dear James,

I don't mean to come on like gangbusters, but with talk of selling the
house and stuff, it is definitely the time for you to get legal
assistance. You can get help from Legal Aid at little or no cost. I
feel for you....I remember when Marilyn first left you and you have
put up with a enormous amount of crap since then. James, you are a
loving, giving man and deserve far more than you are getting. Do
something on your own behalf.....you deserve it.

Love and hugs,
Barrie

James D. Milton

unread,
Aug 28, 1998, 3:00:00 AM8/28/98
to
On Wed, 26 Aug 1998 19:03:23 -0600, jdmi...@primenet.com (James D.
Milton) wrote:

<Caution! Beginning of Major Rant!>

>Will today never end??? My wife (separated) burst in upon my afternoon


>siesta (in a vain attempt to avoid the heat by turning 3 fans on me) and
>wanted me to sign over my life insurance to her so she can get a low cost
>loan. She recently bought a new computer and is now running low on money.

>She does not work outside of her apartment.

>Since our son came home from the hospital, it was as if I no longer
>existed. I am totally convinced that my wife and son are still entrapped
>in a deeply codependent relationship. After a few years of tying to
>compete for the attentions of my wife, I realized that I just could not
>make a dent in their bond with one another. So I slowly ceased even
>trying. :-(

I have very ambivalent feelings over this. Perhaps I should have
persisted longer and harder? But it seemed clear that my wife greatly
preferred our son to me. At first I was jealous -- but eventually got
used to the situation.

>Love dies hard (at least with me) -- but eventually it does die.

Can "dead" love ever be "resurrected"?

>I kept
>my TAD continuing to announce this was the home of the three of us. I had
>hopes ... never mind. So perhaps it's time (past time?) to record another
>message reflecting my permanently solitary status? <Sigh>

>I discussed the lack of air conditioning situation with my wife. Her
>solution was for me to move out of the house, she would then buy another
>swamp cooler, and then move back into the house with our son. Who knows?
>Perhaps that does make some sense after all? However I haven't the
>slightest idea of where I would go. I had hoped to die in my own bed in

>my own house. Apparently that is just not meant to be. :-(

>FYI during the 26 years of our marriage, I earned 99+% of the income. I


>don't object at all to giving her 50% or 67%. But she has taken 100%.

>I assure you this was NOT the woman I married. She changed radically when
>we adopted our son. I also changed radically when I had a breakdown. We
>are now very clearly on very different wavelengths. We can no longer
>communicate. Our phone conversations frequently end with me slamming down
>the phone when I just can't take it any longer. I'm certainly not proud
>of that fact. :-(

If I could relive my life again, I would hope that I would remain a
bachelor. It is unfair to impose someone such as I upon any marital
relationship. During the Middle Ages, I would have made a great monk!

>The latest little disagreement was that she has recently gotten an AOL
>account. She said that she was no longer going to pay for my Primenet
>account. I would have to switch over to AOL since they allow up to 5
>Internet IDs. I then told her that some kind folks on the BP NGs had
>apparently thought enough of my posts, that they paid my ISP bills for 3
>months. She immediately accused me of "begging for money" on the Net.
><Sigh!!!> There is just no way I can ever win -- or even be in the same
>league with her.

She also said that what I had done was illegal. My defense meant nothing
as usual. Once her mind is made up on some issue, it NEVER changes! Not
once in 27 years. Facts are seemingly totally irrelevant.

I had previously recommended AOL to my wife and gave her the CD-ROM with
the latest software. In my view AOL is like riding a bike with training
wheels. But that is precisely what she and my son need! So I am not at
all down on AOL -- or those who post from AOL.

Since I am computer and Internet literate, I can easily ride my 10-speed
bike without training wheels. BTW one thing nice about Primenet is that I
also have Unix Shell access and can do things that just can't be done via
PPP or SLIP accounts.

>I could be wrong but doesn't AOL require that all family members reside
>at the same location in order to have a single account?

Is that true???

>I believe that
>Primenet does. My wife said that no one would ever know and we could just
>share one account.

If that is not permitted by AOL, I would not do as my wife wants. My
integrity, honesty, and honor mean far too much to me. I have little
enough left as it is -- without abandoning them.

>I would have to go offline whenever she or Paul wanted
>to go online. How I would know when that was, I don't sure don't know.

>Comments???

<End of Rant>

>The only silver lining that I can see in all of this gloom and doom is
>that perhaps she would allow me to have 2 of the 5 Net names. One I would
>use my real name. The other I could change on a semi-hourly basis to
>cause confusion and dissension in the BP ranks. But that has already been
>done all too successfully hasn't it?

In case anyone was wondering, that was a sarcastic remark/joke.

>Still waiting for a miracle -- anytime soon!

BTW I finally got a former friend to come by this morning and take a look
at my old swamp cooler. He spent 15 minutes jury rigging things so that
it would run without sounding like a robot in pain with St. Vitus Dance.
He said most everything is rusted and his patch job wouldn't most likely
hold very long. I'm hoping against hope that it will! It is now seemingly
working fine -- except the humidity is high and so it is not very
effective.

>James D. (Dejected Doormat) Milton

Here's a bit of an update on my personal situation ... I was out of
several of my Rxs (including pain and blood pressure meds). My wife lives
only 10 minutes away from the county hospital pharmacy -- but she refused
to consider stopping by and picking them up. She said that I would have
to do that "since she didn't have time". I explained that I was in so
much pain, I just couldn't ride the bus. Besides I didn't have the money
for the Rxs.

So I agreed to sign over my life insurance policy to her if she would
bring me my meds. This she did plus gave me $100 for my monthly expenses.
She then proceeded to take out my med costs from that. This $100 has to
cover my food, Rxs, bus transportation, and doctor visits ($22-$25).

Have I sold my birthright for a bowl of porridge??? I honestly don't care
anymore. :-(

Thanks to everyone who has supported me from,
James D. (Despondent -- but cooler) Milton

Marilyn Everingham

unread,
Aug 29, 1998, 3:00:00 AM8/29/98
to
>>Will today never end??? My wife (separated) burst in upon my afternoon
James, the short answer if NO. As long as you have a child, you will
have to endure the presence of your wife. I have been divorced from my
sons' father for 13 years. I can't stand the man, but I still have to
deal with him REGULARLY because of my sons. I don't really believe in
evil, but this man comes as close to being truly evil as I ever want to
encounter. My younger son is 14 and about to be a freshman in high
school. I can't wait for the day when he heads off to college because I
figure then I really won't have to have direct communication with his
father. The only other solution to not having to communicate with that
moron is for him to have the good sense to fall off the face of the Earth,
but that gives him way too much credit. /mrln

Reply all
Reply to author
Forward
0 new messages