What I Learned About Personals Ads

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IrishWinks

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Dec 14, 2006, 9:35:28 PM12/14/06
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I wrote this for another forum and folks are enjoying it, so I thought
I'd post it here. If you see yourself in it, please don't take it
personally - you have a *lot* of company!

* * * * *

My journey through personals hell has been grueling, but I have
learned a few things! I'm sharing them (most from alt.com but
a few other places too) in hopes of helping some poor sot who
doesn't know any better than to be genuine:

How To Get the Most Out of Personals

Be sure to tag your personals ad with a snappy, attention-getter like:
"Hey Ladies, let's get nasty!"

If you are going to use a pic in your profile, use a poorly lit
close-up of your penis - with hard-on, of course.

If you have the option of selecting gender of your partners and
activities you enjoy - select everything. Even if you don't know what
it means, you might like it!

When describing yourself, pretend that you are trying to get a street
whore to give you a freebie, and you'll have just the right tone.

When describing physical attributes of potential partners - shoot for
the moon! Try something like "Must be petite, Asian, blonde hair,
blue eyes, addicted to the taste of cum and anally-oriented."

If you claim a dom interest in BDSM, come across as the domliest dom
you can be. You have a lot of competition out there! Be a billboard!
People do not post personals ads to meet people - they post them to
read ads - so BE an ad.

Another important point: Be sure to refer to submissiveness as
something graded on a bell curve. An example: "I am an excellent Dom
for those new to the scene and those who have reached an advanced
level of submissiveness."

Always, always, always claim years of experience and to be an expert
at helping newbies into "the lifestyle." Remember those two words -
"the lifestyle" - and use them over and over again, as if they
actually meant something. Also "the scene" is a particularly riveting
term that might mean anything, so it should be used repeatedly.

When answering personals ads from prospective partners, use ONLY a
one-line response. Avoid saying anything about yourself - MAKE the
other person go first.

If you can, try to refer to something buried in the profile of the ad
you are answering. For example: "What is your curiosity about
enemas?" makes for a charming one-line, first response that's likely
to get attention.

If you are fortunate enough to secure an email address - send Kinky
Cards by the dozen - you never have to say anything and you can't
overdo it!

And, if after following all these instructions, your intended does not
reply to your response - nag, harangue. Don't be afraid of sending a
note everyday saying something like, "I expected to hear back from you
by now!"

** note: The construction of this How-To was completed using only
real life examples.

Winks

*Note email addy is munged. Correct email is irish...@bresnan.net

Lynn

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Dec 14, 2006, 10:58:58 PM12/14/06
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IrishWinks wrote:
>
> If you are going to use a pic in your profile, use a poorly lit
> close-up of your penis - with hard-on, of course.

<and other good stuff that I had to snip> I've heard so many people
complain about this that once, I had to ask if they were really telling
the truth. In response, I got multiple dick-pics. I'm still blown
away, that anyone would think that was a good strategy.

Lynn

Troia

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Dec 14, 2006, 11:03:57 PM12/14/06
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More than one guy has told me that about half the women who contact them
*like* it.

But I'm clueless on the point too.

-- Troia

firefey

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Dec 14, 2006, 11:08:08 PM12/14/06
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not only is it the number one strategy for men, it seems to be in the
top five for women. for me, the idea of having a relationship with
either gender's naughties is just about as unappealing as four day old
oatmeal. then again, i hear many people say they want to have their
brain stimulated. i guess there folk are just showing off their well
endowed brains.

firefey

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Dec 14, 2006, 11:08:30 PM12/14/06
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not only is it the number one strategy for men, it seems to be in the


top five for women. for me, the idea of having a relationship with
either gender's naughties is just about as unappealing as four day old
oatmeal. then again, i hear many people say they want to have their

brain stimulated. i guess these folk are just showing off their well
endowed brains.

Ruth Lawrence

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Dec 15, 2006, 12:25:26 AM12/15/06
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"Troia" <troia....@gmail.removethis.com> wrote in message
news:45821eae$0$97245$892e...@authen.yellow.readfreenews.net...

Ummm...they may believe that. They may have been told that.

I know almost no women who want dick shots right away.

Ruth


M. Shirley Chong

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Dec 15, 2006, 12:37:51 AM12/15/06
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IrishWinks wrote:

> My journey through personals hell has been grueling, but I have
> learned a few things! I'm sharing them (most from alt.com but
> a few other places too) in hopes of helping some poor sot who
> doesn't know any better than to be genuine:

KEYBOARD ALERTS! Good grief, these young'uns have no respect for the
subtleties these days... <shuffleshufflecreakshuffle>

> When describing yourself, pretend that you are trying to get a street
> whore to give you a freebie, and you'll have just the right tone.

<ROFLMAO> But I would have thought saying "it'll only take me thirty
seconds" would be a turnoff.

> When answering personals ads from prospective partners, use ONLY a
> one-line response. Avoid saying anything about yourself - MAKE the
> other person go first.

In fact, use this strategy for the first few e-mails. Even if s/he
doesn't answer.

Shirley

SilverOz

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Dec 15, 2006, 1:12:30 AM12/15/06
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In soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 20:03:57 -0800
Troia <troia....@gmail.removethis.com> wrote:

> Lynn wrote:
>> <and other good stuff that I had to snip> I've heard so many people
>> complain about this that once, I had to ask if they were really telling
>> the truth. In response, I got multiple dick-pics. I'm still blown
>> away, that anyone would think that was a good strategy.
>>
> More than one guy has told me that about half the women who contact them
> *like* it.
>

I presume that's because about half the women on internet sex sites
are men?


SilverOz
-who recalls that the women on talkers/muds/mushes could tell when
a man was pretending to be a woman easily but the men seemed to be utterly unable to.

Message has been deleted
Message has been deleted

Troia

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Dec 15, 2006, 1:32:25 AM12/15/06
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Kinda wondered that same thought. Maybe I need the follow-up question:
"Did you ever actually meet any of those women?"

-- Troia

Message has been deleted

SilverOz

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Dec 15, 2006, 1:44:44 AM12/15/06
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In soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 01:38:27 -0500
Norton Zenger <rusho...@gmail.com> wrote:
> SilverOz come on down:

>
>>SilverOz
>> -who recalls that the women on talkers/muds/mushes could tell when
>>a man was pretending to be a woman easily but the men seemed to be utterly unable to.
>
> I think "unwilling to" would be a better descriptor. Suspension of disbelief
> is a powerful force, especially when coupled with the male libido. I've found
> it generally pretty easy to tell when someone is pretending to be female.

I suspect you are right. A very powerful force considering some of
the men (as men) were having online relationships with the men (as
women). The sex was good apparently :)

> (Clue #1: Any "woman" who comes online and the first words out of her mouth
> are about how horny she is? Not actually a woman. On the other hand, any
> woman who comes online and complains about how her breasts are asymmetrical?
> Actually a woman. Men pretending to be women always have perfectly
> symmetrical breasts. Also, men pretending to be women do not menstruate.
> Ever.)

Women who have and description of their boobs in name or description,
or any reference to sexiness in same. Women who speak/act like bad
porn...

On the other hand I dunno if many women pose as men. I have done it
once for an experiment but not with the idea of getting into any
virtual female pants so no idea if there's similar tricks or similar
blind spots.

I don't recall many women online talking to men about menstruation.
Amongst ourselves yes. As in moaning about cramps and upsettedness.
I suppose there was a certain amount of moodswing but most stayed
offline when feeling bad.

SilverOz

SilverOz

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Dec 15, 2006, 1:48:07 AM12/15/06
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In soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 01:16:03 -0500
Norton Zenger <rusho...@gmail.com> wrote:
> IrishWinks come on down:

>>When answering personals ads from prospective partners, use ONLY a
>>one-line response. Avoid saying anything about yourself - MAKE the
>>other person go first.
>
> Also, if you're writing 100 people a day- which a lot of people browsing
> personals ads _do_- there's no point in making each message extremely detailed
> and personal, because odds are you won't hear back from 99 of them. Hell,

Which probably explains the ones I got. I wrote a detailed ad, and
got back a lot of "tell me more" emails. With those 3 words, perhaps
2 or 3 more.

Bitbucketed of course, so "write little cos you never get an answer"
is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Then there's the other method of scattergunning which is send your own
ad to every ad you see. Even if your ad is nothing to do with
anything they've said they are interested in. Got a few of those too.

There really does seem to be a certain belief out there in standing on
street corners saying "wanna fuck?"

SilverOz
- who did get a couple of interesting answers in a huge pile of dross
but neither of them was in the same hemisphere and I've done the
long distance thing...

Ruth Lawrence

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Dec 15, 2006, 2:01:27 AM12/15/06
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"SilverOz" <zeb...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:slrneo4f6e...@gmail.com...

> In soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm on Thu, 14 Dec 2006 20:03:57 -0800
> Troia <troia....@gmail.removethis.com> wrote:
>> Lynn wrote:
>>> <and other good stuff that I had to snip> I've heard so many people
>>> complain about this that once, I had to ask if they were really telling
>>> the truth. In response, I got multiple dick-pics. I'm still blown
>>> away, that anyone would think that was a good strategy.
>>>
>> More than one guy has told me that about half the women who contact them
>> *like* it.
>>
>
> I presume that's because about half the women on internet sex sites
> are men?

:::laughs:::

Ruth


Troia

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Dec 15, 2006, 3:09:13 AM12/15/06
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SilverOz wrote:

> On the other hand I dunno if many women pose as men. I have done it
> once for an experiment but not with the idea of getting into any
> virtual female pants so no idea if there's similar tricks or similar
> blind spots.

In technical groups, it is not uncommon for women to post in a
deliberately genderless fashion. One of the top Windows XP "MVP's" has
a gender-neutral name and most people assume she is a he.

On the other hand, in groups oriented to talk of sexuality, I doubt many
women fake it.

-- Troia

SilverOz

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Dec 15, 2006, 3:35:33 AM12/15/06
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In soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 00:09:13 -0800

Troia <troia....@gmail.removethis.com> wrote:
> SilverOz wrote:
>
>> On the other hand I dunno if many women pose as men. I have done it
>> once for an experiment but not with the idea of getting into any
>> virtual female pants so no idea if there's similar tricks or similar
>> blind spots.
>
> In technical groups, it is not uncommon for women to post in a
> deliberately genderless fashion. One of the top Windows XP "MVP's" has
> a gender-neutral name and most people assume she is a he.

There's a long running joke on aus.motorcycles about what a great
bloke that Zebee is.

And Skud has for years dealt with people on tech forums who think
"Kirrily Robert" is probably "Robert Kirrily" who has a weird way of
writing his name.

> On the other hand, in groups oriented to talk of sexuality, I doubt many
> women fake it.

IN groups where net.sex is normal I suppose women might fake being men
on the grounds that everything happens on the net but I doubt it's
anywhere near as common as the reverse.

SilverOz

Brian G (Upstairs)

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Dec 15, 2006, 6:28:58 AM12/15/06
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I've never understood why a man would want to pretend to be a woman in the
first place.

However, the time to really start to worry is when they send a picture of
their model railway as their first shot.

:-)


Brian
--

--
___________________________________________________________________________
I hope I grow on you....
I'm a Fungi!!!
Blind User, no pictures please!
mildew...@blueyonder.co.uk
___________________________________________________________________________


"SilverOz" <zeb...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:slrneo4f6e...@gmail.com...

Brian G (Upstairs)

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Dec 15, 2006, 6:32:27 AM12/15/06
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Um, a bit hard to tell the latter on line I'd have thought.

I will say though that there are women who talk themselves up just to feel
the salivating power they have over men who are totally ruled by that
alternate brain cell between our legs. OK, I admit it, it is a factor, but
when you get a bit older, you learn how to keep control over it. :-)

Brian

--

--
___________________________________________________________________________
I hope I grow on you....
I'm a Fungi!!!
Blind User, no pictures please!
mildew...@blueyonder.co.uk
___________________________________________________________________________

"Norton Zenger" <rusho...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:7cg4o25hpdfiqshu0...@4ax.com...
> SilverOz come on down:


>
>>SilverOz
>> -who recalls that the women on talkers/muds/mushes could tell when
>>a man was pretending to be a woman easily but the men seemed to be utterly
>>unable to.
>

> I think "unwilling to" would be a better descriptor. Suspension of
> disbelief
> is a powerful force, especially when coupled with the male libido. I've
> found
> it generally pretty easy to tell when someone is pretending to be female.
>

> (Clue #1: Any "woman" who comes online and the first words out of her
> mouth
> are about how horny she is? Not actually a woman. On the other hand, any
> woman who comes online and complains about how her breasts are
> asymmetrical?
> Actually a woman. Men pretending to be women always have perfectly
> symmetrical breasts. Also, men pretending to be women do not menstruate.
> Ever.)
>

> --
> I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY!
> I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY!
> I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY!


Brian G (Upstairs)

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Dec 15, 2006, 6:38:08 AM12/15/06
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It is of course also worrying that these ladies who have had dick pics sent
to them, who say they are not interested, all kept these pics and knew where
to find them when the subject came up.. erm maybe I needed to word that
better...:-)

Brian

--

--
___________________________________________________________________________
I hope I grow on you....
I'm a Fungi!!!
Blind User, no pictures please!
mildew...@blueyonder.co.uk
___________________________________________________________________________

"firefey" <twig...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1166155688....@f1g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...

Ruth Lawrence

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Dec 15, 2006, 6:54:23 AM12/15/06
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I have one such image, but wouldn't dream of using it for wicked purposes.

Not at all. of course not. Didn't cross my mind.

After all, I exchanged it for a tit shot.

Ruth

"Brian G (Upstairs)" <mildew...@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:AOvgh.16523$k74...@text.news.blueyonder.co.uk...

Stephen Harris

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Dec 15, 2006, 6:51:25 AM12/15/06
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Ruth Lawrence <curly...@optusnet.com.au> wrote:

> I know almost no women who want dick shots right away.

When I started chatting with Tori we must have sent a hundred emails
each within the first couple of days. Quite early on Tori asked for
naked pictures, so I had to actually _take_ some. I was hesitant
because I didn't want to "force" myself on her, but she said she really
really wanted them. So, yeah, a dick shot showing my uncircumcised
penis and the ginger curly hair.

In one of them I was naked except for various metal cuffs and a thin
collar; I think that was the one that persuaded Tori I was "worthy"
because she said I looked _so happy_ in that one. Well, who wouldn't
be? *giggle*

--
rgds, Stephen "Pleasure, little treasure"
An Englishman in New York, and loving slave to his Mistress, Tori.

BDSM thoughts, writings, poems and stuff: http://bdsm.spuddy.org/
Newsgroup charter, FAQs etc at http://bdsm.spuddy.org/newsgroups/

Ruth Lawrence

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Dec 15, 2006, 7:25:54 AM12/15/06
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"Stephen Harris" <bd...@spuddy.org> wrote in message
news:t72ule...@spuddy.org...

> Ruth Lawrence <curly...@optusnet.com.au> wrote:
>
>> I know almost no women who want dick shots right away.
>
> When I started chatting with Tori we must have sent a hundred emails
> each within the first couple of days. Quite early on Tori asked for
> naked pictures, so I had to actually _take_ some.

You didn't just send one out of the blue though!!!

> I was hesitant
> because I didn't want to "force" myself on her, but she said she really
> really wanted them. So, yeah, a dick shot showing my uncircumcised
> penis and the ginger curly hair.

:::giggles:::

> In one of them I was naked except for various metal cuffs and a thin
> collar; I think that was the one that persuaded Tori I was "worthy"
> because she said I looked _so happy_ in that one. Well, who wouldn't
> be? *giggle*

Well, not me as I am not a bondage bottom, but I think I can understand why
she liked it.

Me, I had a sweetie take a nekkid shot of me. I have sent it when asked by
someone I know and trust enough.

Ruth, who may go to a small event in January in a self-inflicted rope
dress -despite not wanting hands tied- because she can


Karl Kleinpaste

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Dec 15, 2006, 8:21:34 AM12/15/06
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"Lynn" <socke...@aol.com> writes:
> I'm still blown away

No freudian slip here, nosirree, not at all.

:-),
--karl

TyMeDwn1st

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Dec 15, 2006, 8:37:54 AM12/15/06
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On Thu, 14 Dec 2006 20:03:57 -0800, Troia <troia....@gmail.removethis.com>
wrote:

I wonder about the true gender of those "women" who liked it.


--
Ty
Who is mostly just a
slightly skewed
Donna Reed


"To announce there must be no criticism of the president, or
that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not
only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to
the American public."
-- Theodore Roosevelt

All hail Discordia

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Dec 15, 2006, 8:56:09 AM12/15/06
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I had one lady ask for a picture of my tackle once, but after I sent
it she stopped talking to me. I can not understand why, I had every
thing all laid out nicely, the spoons on the left, the jell worms in
the center, the fly's on the right, and the leaders along the bottom
with my rod across the top.
*sigh*
No accounting for some tastes.

On Fri, 15 Dec 2006 11:28:58 GMT, "Brian G \(Upstairs\)"
<mildew...@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote:

>I've never understood why a man would want to pretend to be a woman in the
>first place.
>
>However, the time to really start to worry is when they send a picture of
>their model railway as their first shot.
>
>:-)
>
>
>Brian
>--

--
Grant

Bladerunner

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Dec 15, 2006, 9:02:20 AM12/15/06
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Stephen Harris wrote:

> When I started chatting with Tori we must have sent a hundred emails
> each within the first couple of days.  Quite early on Tori asked for
> naked pictures, so I had to actually _take_ some.  I was hesitant
> because I didn't want to "force" myself on her, but she said she really
> really wanted them.  So, yeah, a dick shot showing my uncircumcised
> penis and the ginger curly hair.


*So* totally different when she *asks* for one.

And I'm glad it turned out so well!

Bladerunner
SSBB Diplomatic Corps: Portland, OR

Karl Kleinpaste

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Dec 15, 2006, 9:10:08 AM12/15/06
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rusho...@gmail.com (Norton Zenger) writes:
> any woman who comes online and complains about how her breasts are
> asymmetrical? Actually a woman.

Using network access that is unrelated to the net.topological location
I normally inhabit, I metaphorically patrol a certain chat space under
two wildly different personas. One of them is a teenage girl.

She easily (though fictitiously) admits to being (hypothetically)
annoyed that she's built (in my mind) more or less like her
(nonexistent) mother, and is particularly (but perhaps existentially)
unhappy with her efforts at (what would be) weight control (if she
weren't a figment of my imagination).

You'd be alarmed how easily "her" mildly self-effacing opinion firms
up belief in the fiction.

fnordikins

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Dec 15, 2006, 9:40:43 AM12/15/06
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Wanted: sub who will do absolutely whatever I want in exchange for nothing.

OR

Wanted: dom who will do absolutely whatever I want in exchange for nothing.


Please send a blurry photo of your genitals (if any) your age, gender,
shoe size, eye color, all bank account numbers, favorite color, weight,
results of latest IQ test, and a $50 processing fee.


Must be discrete.

fnordikins

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Dec 15, 2006, 9:43:02 AM12/15/06
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On Thu, 14 Dec 2006 20:03:57 -0800, Troia wrote:

> More than one guy has told me that about half the women who contact them
> *like* it.
>
> But I'm clueless on the point too.
>

Perhaps those guys are too.

Ruth Lawrence

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Dec 15, 2006, 9:58:28 AM12/15/06
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"fnordikins" <fnord...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:pan.2006.12.15....@yahoo.com...

:::laughs:::

Don't be surprised if you get replies, my young blue friend :-)

Ruth


user119

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Dec 15, 2006, 10:19:21 AM12/15/06
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Hey! That was gonna be my ad.


--
Cui bonuo

remove the -N-COLD to reply


Golden California Girls

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Dec 15, 2006, 10:53:20 AM12/15/06
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Oh I'm so *CRAZY* about you. I never thought anyone would ask for my bank
account number. But you aren't my type. You didn't ask for my SSN.

Sorry.


Lynn

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Dec 15, 2006, 12:38:37 PM12/15/06
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Norton Zenger wrote:
>
> (Clue #1: Any "woman" who comes online and the first words out of her mouth
> are about how horny she is? Not actually a woman. On the other hand, any

> woman who comes online and complains about how her breasts are asymmetrical?
> Actually a woman. Men pretending to be women always have perfectly
> symmetrical breasts. Also, men pretending to be women do not menstruate.
> Ever.)

And they all have figures like a teen-age Barbie, without the resulting
back pain.

Lynn

Message has been deleted
Message has been deleted
Message has been deleted

Brian G (Upstairs)

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Dec 15, 2006, 1:19:28 PM12/15/06
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Have you heard of the Ladette? I was once eavesdropping when a number of so
called ladies were having a girls night, and it appears they were taking it
in turns on dodgy web sites with chatrooms to see who could get the men to
send pictures of their dicks, and adding up the scores.

I imagine drink had been taken judging by the shrieks every so often. Still
harmless fun and safe i guess, as long as you don't piss off someone who you
might know, or who knows you!

Brian who finds sitting in his garden often educational.

--

--
___________________________________________________________________________
I hope I grow on you....
I'm a Fungi!!!
Blind User, no pictures please!
mildew...@blueyonder.co.uk
___________________________________________________________________________

"TyMeDwn1st" <tymed...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:0995o2lmesp64t5vq...@4ax.com...

Troia

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Dec 15, 2006, 1:55:50 PM12/15/06
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Norton Zenger wrote:
> SilverOz come on down:

>
>> In soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 01:16:03 -0500
>> Norton Zenger <rusho...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>> IrishWinks come on down:
>>>> When answering personals ads from prospective partners, use ONLY a
>>>> one-line response. Avoid saying anything about yourself - MAKE the
>>>> other person go first.
>>> Also, if you're writing 100 people a day- which a lot of people browsing
>>> personals ads _do_- there's no point in making each message extremely detailed
>>> and personal, because odds are you won't hear back from 99 of them. Hell,
>> Which probably explains the ones I got. I wrote a detailed ad, and
>> got back a lot of "tell me more" emails. With those 3 words, perhaps
>> 2 or 3 more.
>>
>> Bitbucketed of course, so "write little cos you never get an answer"
>> is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
>
> I think there's a middle ground; writing maybe a paragraph or so in one's
> first response, with no more than one or two points of possible interest about
> oneself, is I believe the best way.

It sure beats saying "I never get much of a response so I won't bother
to write more than one line to you, assuming you won't respond anyway."

Self-fulfilling prophecy.


>
>> There really does seem to be a certain belief out there in standing on
>> street corners saying "wanna fuck?"
>

> If one's standards are low enough, this actually works, so...
>
That may be the basis on which those I talked to did get responses to
the cock shots.

Or perhaps there really are women who are so obsessed.

For me, a cock is meaningless unless attached to a person with whom I
already have a relationship ... then, it's true, there may be some
pleasure in the view, but not because it's a cock, more because of who
it is attached to.

-- Troia

Brian Downstairs

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Dec 15, 2006, 2:08:12 PM12/15/06
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I wonder what Tobie would make of all this? She is not about today... um.

Brian

--

mildew...@blueyonder.co.uk


I hope I grow on you...

I'm a Fungi!!!

Blindness is a way of life.

"Troia" <troia....@gmail.removethis.com> wrote in message
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SilverOz

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Dec 15, 2006, 4:54:52 PM12/15/06
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In soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm on 15 Dec 2006 09:38:37 -0800

ah yes. The 44DD who is 5'8" and weighs 120.

SilverOz

SilverOz

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Dec 15, 2006, 4:56:38 PM12/15/06
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In soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 11:38:08 GMT

Brian G (Upstairs) <mildew...@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote:
> It is of course also worrying that these ladies who have had dick pics sent
> to them, who say they are not interested, all kept these pics and knew where
> to find them when the subject came up.. erm maybe I needed to word that
> better...:-)
>

It's no so much that we kept them, it's just that a mailbox full of
dick pics is hard to forget.

Seen one you have laughed at them all really.

SilverOz

Lynn

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Dec 15, 2006, 6:37:45 PM12/15/06
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SilverOz wrote:
> >
> > And they all have figures like a teen-age Barbie, without the resulting
> > back pain.
>
> ah yes. The 44DD who is 5'8" and weighs 120.

Ah, I see you've met her.

Lynn

Smiler

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Dec 15, 2006, 7:57:22 PM12/15/06
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"Lynn" <socke...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1166225865.7...@l12g2000cwl.googlegroups.com...

The idea of meeting a teenage Barbie seems inviting.
That is until I realise that breasts are the *only* sexual organs that
Barbie has.

Smiler
The godless one


Troia

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Dec 15, 2006, 7:59:01 PM12/15/06
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Well, she certainly is lacking the most critical sex organ, anyway!

(I mean the one that resides in the head.)

-- Troia

M. Shirley Chong

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Dec 15, 2006, 8:55:46 PM12/15/06
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Smiler wrote:

> The idea of meeting a teenage Barbie seems inviting.
> That is until I realise that breasts are the *only* sexual organs that
> Barbie has.

Keep in mind she doesn't even have nipples, just smooth breast
shaped mounds.

Shirley

Smiler

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Dec 15, 2006, 9:00:03 PM12/15/06
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"Troia" <troia....@gmail.removethis.com> wrote in message
news:458344d6$0$97237$892e...@authen.yellow.readfreenews.net...

...critical sex organ...

Yeh. She's lacking a mouth :-)

Smiler
The godless one


fnordikins

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Dec 15, 2006, 9:05:40 PM12/15/06
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>>
>> The idea of meeting a teenage Barbie seems inviting.
>> That is until I realise that breasts are the *only* sexual organs that
>> Barbie has.
>>

Lack of genitals is the curse of most nonbios.


Fnord, anatomically incorrect and enjoying the deprivation

IrishWinks

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Dec 15, 2006, 9:09:24 PM12/15/06
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On Sat, 16 Dec 2006 02:00:03 GMT, "Smiler" <Smi...@Joe.King.com>
wrote:

>...critical sex organ...
>
>Yeh. She's lacking a mouth :-)
>
>Smiler
>The godless one

Umm, Barbie most certainly has always had one mouth. It's just
painted on - doesn't open and close (Barbie has no openings). There
was, however, a Barbie who talked. Scary stuff.

Winks

*Note email addy is munged. Correct email is irish...@bresnan.net

Troia

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Dec 15, 2006, 9:38:52 PM12/15/06
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> ....critical sex organ...

>
> Yeh. She's lacking a mouth :-)
>
> Smiler
> The godless one
>
>

Heh ... you are pretty sharp today, but she's not lacking a mouth, just
one that *opens* properly.

-- Troia

Troia

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Dec 15, 2006, 9:40:43 PM12/15/06
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IrishWinks wrote:
> On Sat, 16 Dec 2006 02:00:03 GMT, "Smiler" <Smi...@Joe.King.com>
> wrote:
>
>> ...critical sex organ...
>>
>> Yeh. She's lacking a mouth :-)
>>
>> Smiler
>> The godless one
>
> Umm, Barbie most certainly has always had one mouth. It's just
> painted on - doesn't open and close (Barbie has no openings). There
> was, however, a Barbie who talked. Scary stuff.
>

Well, yeah, because she just LUV'ed shopping and HATED math!

*sigh*

I wish I were making that up.

-- Troia

Markem

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Dec 16, 2006, 1:02:01 AM12/16/06
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Smiler <Smi...@Joe.King.com> wrote:

>"Troia" <troia....@gmail.removethis.com> wrote

>> Smiler wrote:

>>> "Lynn" <socke...@aol.com> wrote

>>> SilverOz wrote:

>>>>>> And they all have figures like a teen-age Barbie, without the
>>>>>> resulting back pain.

>>>>> ah yes. The 44DD who is 5'8" and weighs 120.

>>>> Ah, I see you've met her.

>>> The idea of meeting a teenage Barbie seems inviting.
>>> That is until I realise that breasts are the *only* sexual organs that
>>> Barbie has.

>> Well, she certainly is lacking the most critical sex organ, anyway!

>> (I mean the one that resides in the head.)

>...critical sex organ...

>Yeh. She's lacking a mouth :-)

Ah there is always Realdoll.com, add in robotics..... Proper audio...

Ah the future...

Markem
(sixoneeight) = 618

Ruth Lawrence

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Dec 16, 2006, 1:58:33 AM12/16/06
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"Markem" <markem(sixoneeight)@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:7l27o2h8nuk9d99au...@4ax.com...

Think of it as evolution in action...

Ruth


Molly B

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Dec 16, 2006, 2:21:37 AM12/16/06
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Need we mention "Growing-up Skipper" who sprouted breasts when you turned her
arm?

Molly B

Troia

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Dec 16, 2006, 3:24:47 AM12/16/06
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No, let's not mention any such thing, please.

-- Troia

NightMist

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Dec 16, 2006, 9:30:59 AM12/16/06
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Well, there were a few Barbies who took exception to that.

http://jacketmagazine.com/27/w-gilb.html

NightMist
because there is always somebody who thinks it's cute to call me
Barbie or Babs.
--
Come to the dark side.
We have cookies.

Troia

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Dec 16, 2006, 2:30:51 PM12/16/06
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I just always wanted the Harley Davidson Barbie, none other.

-- Troia

darkn...@yahoo.com

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Dec 20, 2006, 11:16:50 AM12/20/06
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Ruth Lawrence wrote:
> "Troia" <troia....@gmail.removethis.com> wrote in message
> news:45821eae$0$97245$892e...@authen.yellow.readfreenews.net...

> > Lynn wrote:
> >> IrishWinks wrote:
> >>> If you are going to use a pic in your profile, use a poorly lit
> >>> close-up of your penis - with hard-on, of course.
> >>
> >> <and other good stuff that I had to snip> I've heard so many people
> >> complain about this that once, I had to ask if they were really telling
> >> the truth. In response, I got multiple dick-pics. I'm still blown
> >> away, that anyone would think that was a good strategy.

Welcome to the male half of the human race. The social
misunderstandings are so legend, that I have become (half) convinced
there are genetic issues at work.

> >>
> >> Lynn
> >>
> > More than one guy has told me that about half the women who contact them
> > *like* it.
>

> Ummm...they may believe that. They may have been told that.
>
> I know almost no women who want dick shots right away.

Unless the guy is named Richard ;-).

I don't think I ever met, in my dating years, a woman who would want
shots of the male member, *ever* ;-).

darkn...@yahoo.com

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Dec 20, 2006, 11:19:55 AM12/20/06
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Troia wrote:
> SilverOz wrote:
>
> > On the other hand I dunno if many women pose as men. I have done it
> > once for an experiment but not with the idea of getting into any
> > virtual female pants so no idea if there's similar tricks or similar
> > blind spots.
>
> In technical groups, it is not uncommon for women to post in a
> deliberately genderless fashion. One of the top Windows XP "MVP's" has
> a gender-neutral name and most people assume she is a he.

Thinking Andre Norton, a famous (woman) Fantasty and Sci Fi writer, who
for a long time was assumed to be male.

Or 'James Tiptree Junior' about whom a fascinating biography has just
been released.

http://www.amazon.com/James-Tiptree-Jr-Double-Sheldon/dp/0312203853

>
> On the other hand, in groups oriented to talk of sexuality, I doubt many
> women fake it.

As opposed to other contexts were women 'fake it' ;-)?

darkn...@yahoo.com

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Dec 20, 2006, 11:25:39 AM12/20/06
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fnordikins wrote:
> Wanted: sub who will do absolutely whatever I want in exchange for nothing.
>
> OR
>
> Wanted: dom who will do absolutely whatever I want in exchange for nothing.
>
>
> Please send a blurry photo of your genitals (if any) your age, gender,
> shoe size, eye color, all bank account numbers, favorite color, weight,
> results of latest IQ test, and a $50 processing fee.
>
>
> Must be discrete.

Editor's comment:

discrete is a mathematical term, meaning countable (as in 'there are 3
eggs')

discreet is the actual spelling of the word meaning what we think it
means ie sensitive to private and personal information ie 'I asked him
to be discreet'

This can lead to lots of unintended hilarity. I used to read personal
ads and be tempted to reply with something like

'would continuous be acceptable'?

Sadly my humour was lost on many people ;-).

Markem

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Dec 20, 2006, 11:36:11 AM12/20/06
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wrote:

>> In technical groups, it is not uncommon for women to post in a
>> deliberately genderless fashion. One of the top Windows XP "MVP's" has
>> a gender-neutral name and most people assume she is a he.

Kelly is the best of them (help site wise). For me anyway.

Markem
(sixoneeight) = 618

fnordikins

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Dec 20, 2006, 12:13:57 PM12/20/06
to
On Wed, 20 Dec 2006 08:25:39 -0800, darkness39 wrote:


>>
>> Must be discrete.
>
> Editor's comment:
>
> discrete is a mathematical term, meaning countable (as in 'there are 3
> eggs')
>
> discreet is the actual spelling of the word meaning what we think it
> means ie sensitive to private and personal information ie 'I asked him
> to be discreet'
>
> This can lead to lots of unintended hilarity. I used to read personal
> ads and be tempted to reply with something like
>
> 'would continuous be acceptable'?
>
> Sadly my humour was lost on many people ;-).


I know that. My hilarity was intentional.

As my lover once said :" no one's had any trouble telling me apart so far."

Ruth Lawrence

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Dec 20, 2006, 12:34:11 PM12/20/06
to

<darkn...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1166631410.3...@t46g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...

>
> Ruth Lawrence wrote:
>> "Troia" <troia....@gmail.removethis.com> wrote in message
>> news:45821eae$0$97245$892e...@authen.yellow.readfreenews.net...
>> > Lynn wrote:
>> >> IrishWinks wrote:
>> >>> If you are going to use a pic in your profile, use a poorly lit
>> >>> close-up of your penis - with hard-on, of course.
>> >>
>> >> <and other good stuff that I had to snip> I've heard so many people
>> >> complain about this that once, I had to ask if they were really
>> >> telling
>> >> the truth. In response, I got multiple dick-pics. I'm still blown
>> >> away, that anyone would think that was a good strategy.
>
> Welcome to the male half of the human race. The social
> misunderstandings are so legend, that I have become (half) convinced
> there are genetic issues at work.

I didn't write that bit, but will say this: my experience in the scene gives
me the impression that there are fewer genetic differences than one would
otherwise suspect, but you see I am looking at it from a queer perspective.


>
>> >>
>> >> Lynn
>> >>
>> > More than one guy has told me that about half the women who contact
>> > them
>> > *like* it.
>>
>> Ummm...they may believe that. They may have been told that.
>>
>> I know almost no women who want dick shots right away.
>
> Unless the guy is named Richard ;-).
>
> I don't think I ever met, in my dating years, a woman who would want
> shots of the male member, *ever* ;-).

There are bound to be a few (UGOL), but I am not amongst them

Ruth


Troia

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Dec 20, 2006, 3:26:54 PM12/20/06
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That would be the one I was referring to, too!

-- Troia

Troia

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Dec 20, 2006, 3:32:35 PM12/20/06
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Had I made such a spelling error in an ad, had I posted an ad, a
response like that would be one of the first I'd, um, respond to.

(OK, that was another horrible sentence courtesy of my overworked mind.)

Since I have a teeny bit of brat in me (otherwise, I am thoroughly
well-behaved, docile and pleasing, sweetness personified) I sometimes
have played at "testing" the Domly types by making various sorts of
errors in my writing. I know that "testing" by a sub is frowned upon by
most, but I tend to want to be sure that if I'm going to give someone
authority over me, they can keep up with my
sometimes-unintentionally-sneaky mind that seems to want to find ways
around "bothersome" things, and often those who pick up on the spelling
trickery will be the sort that pay attention to detail at the level I
respond best to.

I know, I'm bad, subs are supposed to be willingly obedient subs at all
times ... but I do get along best with those who enjoy "challenging".

-- Troia

Troia

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Dec 20, 2006, 3:35:11 PM12/20/06
to
darkn...@yahoo.com wrote:
> Troia wrote:
>> SilverOz wrote:
>>
>>> On the other hand I dunno if many women pose as men. I have done it
>>> once for an experiment but not with the idea of getting into any
>>> virtual female pants so no idea if there's similar tricks or similar
>>> blind spots.
>> In technical groups, it is not uncommon for women to post in a
>> deliberately genderless fashion. One of the top Windows XP "MVP's" has
>> a gender-neutral name and most people assume she is a he.
>
> Thinking Andre Norton, a famous (woman) Fantasty and Sci Fi writer, who
> for a long time was assumed to be male.

I tend to forget that, but then again, I don't really read with the
author's gender in mind.

The one place I might agree re. gender-biased writing style is that it
seems to be a rare male writer who can really carry off writing erotica
as a female.

Even so, there are obvious exceptions.

-- Troia

Troia

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Dec 20, 2006, 3:36:56 PM12/20/06
to
Idunno, I was involved with a guy once (years ago) who had what somehow
struck me as the most gorgeous penis I'd ever seen or imagined. I might
actually have liked to have a pic of it.

For some reason, it just seemed *perfect*, though I can't quite explain
why; I could imagine someone making a sculpture of it, though.

-- Troia

fnordikins

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Dec 20, 2006, 3:53:09 PM12/20/06
to
On Wed, 20 Dec 2006 12:32:35 -0800, Troia wrote:


>
> I know, I'm bad, subs are supposed to be willingly obedient subs at all
> times ... but I do get along best with those who enjoy "challenging".


Owning a willingly obedient wifwolf is too kinky even for me. I'd be
willing to try it, but I'm sure the wilfwolf I have is more fun.

Message has been deleted

Troia

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Dec 20, 2006, 4:23:07 PM12/20/06
to

Awww, you say the nicest things, dear fearsome Mistress Fnordy! Owner Sir.

*minor cavort*
and even a *silly grin*

-- Troia

Smiler

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Dec 20, 2006, 7:06:52 PM12/20/06
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<darkn...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1166631410.3...@t46g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
>
Do you think this difference is down to genetics or conditioning, like
little girls being told by their mothers that a penis is 'dirty' and/or
'ugly'?
I can't imagine (UGOL?) a father telling his young son that the female
genitalia are ugly or dirty.
Even the law discriminates in recognition of this, here in the UK.
A man found walking naked in the street would be charged with Indecent
Exposure, whereas a woman in the same situation would be charged with
"Behaviour likely to cause a Breach of the Peace".

Smiler
The godless one


Smiler

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Dec 20, 2006, 7:30:44 PM12/20/06
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"Troia" <troia....@gmail.removethis.com> wrote in message
news:45899de5$0$97265$892e...@authen.yellow.readfreenews.net...

There's one here who doesn't think that about you (She With A Rubber
Killfile)!
But SWARK's opinions don't count!

We all know that you're *usually* thoroughly well behaved, docile, pleasing
and sweetness personified.
If, at anytime, you're not all of those things, there are several here who
are ready and willing to 'correct your errors'.

Smiler,
The godless one


Troia

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Dec 20, 2006, 7:33:02 PM12/20/06
to
Smiler wrote:
> ...

> We all know that you're *usually* thoroughly well behaved, docile, pleasing
> and sweetness personified.

Of course, I won't ask about your exact definition of "usually" here,
and I'll even manage to say Thank You without being wicked about it.

(See, I can too behave!)

> If, at anytime, you're not all of those things, there are several here who
> are ready and willing to 'correct your errors'.

Yes, I know, people are so *good* to me!

Ahhhhh ........


-- Troia
(having a bit of a better day day, and feeling blessed)

Ruth Lawrence

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Dec 20, 2006, 11:04:48 PM12/20/06