Jackie says: "All I want for Christmas is some porno tapes!"
Mix
gun...@crl.crl.com (Eric Cartman) whined:
>In article <1997112508...@sirius.infonex.com>, Drug Addicted High
>School Dropouts Anonymous <mixm...@remail.obscura.com> wrote:
>>
>>Hey fatass, when have you demonstrated any ability to have relationships
>>with high quality women?
>
>I've done it every time I post about the issue, and I'm with one as we
>speak.
Is this that 180 pound blob you were harpooning before?
Let me remind you that fat ugly chicks are easy and that ugliness does not
equal high quality.
>>I am fucking women so gorgeous it boggles MY mind. Meanwhile you're there
>>rutting with that obese beached whale and claiming to be some kind of
>>expert on love and romance. Puh-leeeeeaaaze! Spare me!
>
>You have no one, Jackass.
As a matter of fact I have several I am actively fucking and several more
promising candidates I am working on seducing.
> You're a bum moving from internet cafe to
>internet cafe, kicking parking meters to get quarters to pay for online
>time.
Yeah, right. And I suppose I manually type in the remailer control
information every time I post.
If you're going to lie about me at least make it semi-plausible.
> You make up all these fantasies about porn stars and expect us to
>buy your king-sized delusions, but no one is buying it, Jackass. No one.
Have you conducted a survey? I recall several people here posting that they
believed me when I stated that I do fairly well with women. Please note
that I am not claiming to be Casanova, I am claiming something which is
quite credible: That I have, by studying what women really respond to,
improved the quality of women I am able to seduce.
>Your advice on women has proven to EVERYONE that you wouldn't get laid if
>you were the last man-beast on Earth.
Really? How about some specifics? What part of my advice seems to you to be
invalid?
>>cartoon obsessed, gutless turd. They want a man who is bold enough to ask
>>for what he wants. To make the first move. To walk up to her and
>>IMMEDIATELY make it ABSOLUTELY CLEAR with NO EXCUSES that he wants to FUCK
>>HER!!!
>
>Okay, women of this newsgroup, would you go for this technique? No? I
>didn't think so.
Any women responding to Cartman's question should keep in mind that it is
quite possible to make it absolutely clear to a woman that you want to fuck
her without actually walking up and stating 'I want to fuck you.'
Such subtleties are quite beyond Cartman of course...
> You go ahead, Jackie, with that asinine technique; I
>guess that facial deformity you have, comes from all those times when you
>got your face slapped off.
I have never been slapped by a woman. In fact of the women I've approached
all have been very happy that I paid them the compliment of finding them
attractive enough to ask out whether they said yes or not.
>>You are so cowardly and full of excuses that you end up with the LEAST
>>desirable sort of woman imaginable - a grossly overweight ugly loser into
>>the same puerile gibberish you are probably for the same reasons.
>
>Translation: we're both into things requiring ten times the intelligence
>that you could ever imagine mustering. You're just a meathead wannabe.
I'm so fuckin' impressed. Those cartoons and video games are a real
challenge to the intellect. And who am I to question your taste? After all,
you've established your credentials as a critic with your historic post
claiming that the worst Sailor Moon episode was better than the best of
Shakespeare.
>>How do you tell someone REALLY knows how to score? Check out what kind of
>>women he's getting. Clue: Fat chicks are EASY even for a loser to get. HOT
>>BABES require that you be a winner and/or understand women. Actually I'd
>>say any guy who understands women well enough to score with hot babes is by
>>definition a winner.
>
>So, if we count your fantasies, that makes you a winner?
When I look at my sexy, sweet, loving, adorable, feminine little love
goddess moaning with pleasure as I fuck her brains out I know that I am a
winner.
Whether you believe it or not is of not the slightest consequence to me.
>>So fatboy, what's the height and weight of the hottest chick you ever fucked?
>>Before you ask: 5 foot 4 inches, 110 pounds. Looked like Ginger Lynn.
>
>Oh shit, here we go again with your porn star fantasies. Is it any wonder,
>folks, that he knows all these porn star names?
I am highly sexual person. I love porno films. My girlfriends often watch
them with me. Watching attractive people fuck and suck each other is a turn
on.
Ginger Lynn was one of the hottest stars of the 80s. Particularly
recommended is the double penetration scene in New Wave Hookers.
(By the way, one way to get a girl to try new things is to show her a good
video with the stuff you want to try and then watch her reactions.
Sometimes she'll spontaneously want to try it and you don't have to suggest
anything!)
>Jackass, your pathetic pathological game is very clear to everyone here.
>It is clear in both your attitude towards women, and your extradordinary
>knowledge of pornography. People make those approaches in porno movies,
>the same one you keep trying to push here. Women accept them in porno
>movies, hence you think that's how it is in the real world. I should have
>caught on MONTHS ago when you first started battering me with these
>delusions of yours, but hey, better late than never.
In most porno movies sex happens the way songs happen in movie musicals -
suddenly and with very little realism. This is because these movies are
designed to fulfill fantasies and what viewers want is to get right to the
sex.
They are not meant as instruction films on how to pick up girls.
>Here's a little clue for you...I know porno movies probably don't offer
>disclaimers or warnings that their shit does NOT represent the real world,
>so I'll be the first one to tell you....they do NOT represent the real
>world, Jackie. People don't act like that out here on Terra Firma. Turn
>off that tape, and watch how REAL people meet and mate.
I have. And the way it happens with the real players is they ask lots of
women and they make it clear what they want and they emotionally connect
with the woman and know how to steer the discussion into romantic, sexy
subjects.
Any man who follows those simple steps will do well. Yes, even a fat ugly
slob like yourself.
Jackie the Tokeman