Author Avodah Offit, MD online
Beth Pratt-Dewey
of the perverse and curious ways people--we--search for love"
With her novel, _Virtual Love_, (Simon & Schuster) world-famous author,
psychiatrist, and sex therapist, Avodah Offit, MD, examines the ethical
issues of sex. Starting Monday, April 11, Dr. Offit will be here online
to discuss her novel. Each day she'll leave a new excerpt and discuss a
different issue. Questions and comments are encouraged! Just leave them
here.
With _Virtual Love_, Dr. Offit revives an 18th century novelistic tool,
the epistolary novel, and brings it into the modern age: the plot is
developed through the protagonists' e-mail correspondence (and is the
first novel to use e-mail to carry its plot) . The book follows the
development of a relationship between two sex therapists, Marc and Aphra,
as the correspond through e-mail from their homes in California and New
York. Through their letters and narrative, readers gain access to therapy
sessions, the sexual problems of the therapists, and an invigorating
examination of the unending and ever changing search for love.
You might know Dr. Offit's other works: _The Sexual Self_, published a
decade ago throughout the world to great critical and popular success. Or
maybe you know her collection of essays: _Night Thoughts, Reflections of a
Sex Therapist_. Maybe you've even read her chapters from psychiatric
textbooks or an article of hers in Glamour, Self, Bride's, Cosmopolitan,
or Harper's Bazaar. If you've not yet experienced her writing, consider
her residence on this forum a tasty appetizer.
Excerpt: An early e-mail letter from Marc to Aphra (and perhaps to you!)
Copyright 1994 Avodah Offit. All rights reserved including the right of
reproduction in whole or in part in any form.
"And you will see, you will see, you will be rewarded for your effort at
installing the software and learning to send e-mail to me because there is
something archaic, deep, and mysterious about the transmission of words
through cyberspace (my new hobby, p reoccupation, interest); I don't mean
to impose it, to force it on you, even though i've done just that, but
thank you for indulging a fledgling passion for esoteric forms of
communication."
MONDAY, April 11, 1994: There are no separate rules for love, for life and
for sex. _Virtual Love_, (Simon & Schuster) author Avodah Offit, MD
releases another excerpt from her book with Simon & Schuster, and
discusses the topic with you.
1
--
Beth Pratt-Dewey
adle...@access.digex.net
David J. Loftus
: "I want to record for you the voices I've heard, to tell you the stories
: of the perverse and curious ways people--we--search for love"
: With her novel, _Virtual Love_, (Simon & Schuster) world-famous author,
: psychiatrist, and sex therapist, Avodah Offit, MD, examines the ethical
: issues of sex. Starting Monday, April 11, Dr. Offit will be here online
: to discuss her novel. Each day she'll leave a new excerpt and discuss a
Delighted to hear it. I thought _Night Thoughts_ was a terrific book,
and wrote Dr. Offit a fan letter more than a decade ago to tell her so,
and received a lovely note in reply. Glad to hear she's still writing.
David Loftus
Beth Pratt-Dewey
WITH A PATIENT?
Novelist and sex therapist Avodah Offit is here on-line to discuss her new
book _Virtual Love_ (Simon & Schuster) with you. The book takes the
epistolary novel into the electronic age: the protagonists correspond by
email. Each day she ll leave a new excerpt and new topic for discussion.
She ll be here through Sunday April 17. Please leave your comments and
questions here on line.
In this excerpt, Aphra Zion, a sex therapist in New York, is corresponding
with Marc Martell, a sex therapist in California, about his attraction to
his patient, Toni. It s early in their correspondence. Copyright 1994
Avodah Offit. All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in
whole or in part in any form.
To: dr. zion
7.2.91
Subject: toni
Toni has a lot to keep out; her vaginismus is more than legitimate; she
can t even count the number of men who ve tried to get at her, including
her alcoholic father and her brothers! I have a passion for native
americans but they re left only with oases of health in a desert of
sickness. The way she was raised, in the hell of l.a., toni should have
been a wizened dwarf! How she developed her height, her straight white
teeth, her firm cheekbones, is a small miracle, not to mention--i have to
be oh-so-careful not to mention-- the rest of her, and maybe the sarcoma
represents all the evil--the abuse collected and lurking in her body-
-either now totally removed by the operation or waiting to emerge and
destroy her all at once.
She's such an odd mix; part mystic, part impenetrable whore, part vast
unexplored intelligence, part nothing at all where her feelings should
be...she finished high school and then a classy los angeles madam picked
her up, taught her manners, and rented her out at $400.00 an hour in the
british escort tradition...she says men paid that much for oral sex
only--for the right to push her long black hair aside and watch her.....
Marc
To: Dr. Martell
7.3.91
Subject: Therapy
She's probably suffering a depression that will emerge as she talks to
you. Women who deny their emotions about having paid sex often suffer
severely. Go slowly and gently--be kind and supportive--and as long as
we re not doing sex therapy, I m willing to wait for the next patient.
Agreeably, Aphra
To: dr. zion 7.3.91 Subject: complications ... These past few days I can t
go to sleep at night without thinking about toni...i try to imagine how
i ll instruct her sexually once we deal with her emotional trauma and she
meets the right man, but I know damn well she s too damaged ever to meet
the right person, and besides, the right man is me, or so I think when i m
awake in the middle of the night. I found myself thinking about how right
I am for her Sunday afternoon, too, when I was sitting with my wife trish
and my little daughter patti in our roof garden, and we were all drinking
lemonade, and you could see the blue bay water past the white pots and red
geraniums that line the sky over our parapet...You see, toni is
technically a virgin. I ve never made love to a virgin...i think/i try
not to think/i am in a thinking/not thinking state...if I had her, if she
had me, she d turn out just fine...
communicate soon,
marc
WEDNESDAY S TOPIC: SHOULD MARITAL INFIDELITY BE FORGIVEN? _VIRTUAL LOVE_,
(SIMON & SCHUSTER) AUTHOR AVODAH OFFIT, MD, RELEASES ANOTHER EXCERPT FROM
HER BOOK AND DISCUSSES THE TOPIC WITH YOU.
2
--
Beth Pratt-Dewey
adle...@access.digex.net
Avodah Offit
I thought my novel _Virtual Love_, which concerns two sex therapists who
fall in love as they correspond by e-mail might be of interest to people
on the Internet. Have you ever had an on-line romance?
My characters finally meet--but I won't spoil the ending. Do you know
anybody who's met an on-line sweetheart? What happened?
--
Julie Wright
In article <2ojhep$b...@access1.digex.net>,
Avodah Offit <adle...@access1.digex.net> wrote:
>Julie:
I assume this message is aimed at me, since I haven't seen any Julies
post to this thread. Of course, *I* didn't post to this thread either;
I chose email, since I was trying not to waste people's time with things
they probably wouldn't be interested in. Hint, hint.
In any case, since you seem keen on posting, I'll repeat here, if I were
interested in this sort of thing I would have looked for it elsewhere.
Crossposts are a very bad idea; you should restrict your posts to the
group most likely to be interested in them, in my opinion, and again
in my opinion, that group ain't soc.singles.
>I thought my novel _Virtual Love_, which concerns two sex therapists who
>fall in love as they correspond by e-mail might be of interest to people
>on the Internet. Have you ever had an on-line romance?
Yes. So have many of the people I've known. I am sort of dubious about
how well a person who doesn't know the difference between email and
posting, or apparently between Internet and Usenet, could describe such
a thing. Your imagination might or might not have conjured up something
interesting, but it's unlikely to be like the reality, I would guess.
I think if I were you I'd focus on trying to hawk it to people who
haven't had much exposure to the net.
>My characters finally meet--but I won't spoil the ending. Do you know
>anybody who's met an on-line sweetheart? What happened?
As a general rule, they seem to fizzle like a sparkler thrown into a
puddle, or explode spectacularly. There are exceptions, of course.
I doubt the typical endings would have sold to a publisher...
---Julie
Kiran Wagle
"_The Underground Grammarian_ does not seek to educate anyone.
"We intend rather to ridicule, humiliate, and infuriate
those who abuse our language not so that they will do better
but so that they will stop using language entirely or at least go away."
--Richard Mitchell, the Underground Grammarian, writing in 1977.
~ Kiran <gr...@netcom.com>
--
"I refuse to continue to listen to honking geese on the off chance
one of 'em will suddenly start spouting Shakespeare."--Kenn Barry
piranha
>
>Julie:
>
>I thought my novel _Virtual Love_, which concerns two sex therapists who
>fall in love as they correspond by e-mail might be of interest to people
>on the Internet. Have you ever had an on-line romance?
>
net.flirt? i think i'm gonna wait a few more years to write
a book about people who actually (*gasp*) meet in real life,
*grin*. two sex therapists, eh? shoot, this is crossposted
all over creation, so inside jokes would not be appropriate.
it's a cool idea tho, and as soon as it comes out in paper-
back, i'll go and buy it (sorry, no room for hardcovers on a
boat).
>My characters finally meet--but I won't spoil the ending. Do you know
>anybody who's met an on-line sweetheart? What happened?
>
if the ending is realistic, she weighs 300 pounds, which she
never told him (not that she was hiding it, but their online
exchange was such a pure meeting of minds and souls that the
subject simply never came up) and he just can't deal with his
perfect soulmate being in this imperfect body, because after
all, how can she care so little about herself and let herself
go like this? it's just not _normal_. the end. (if you do
not have a functioning sarcasm meter, now would be a good time
to buy one.)
or she is 41 and he turns out to be a mere 17; prodigy, of
course, but the age difference is more than she can accept
(and he _is_ a little immature socially; he can't help look-
ing at his friend vinnie who's lurking from another table,
giggling in unison, and imitating the waiter's faux-italian
accent).
or picture this: they've talked for months, finally decide
to meet because he has business in town, and it would be con-
venient. she's seen a picture of him in a newsletter. she's
given him a description (height, hair color/style, glasses,
no carnation, sorry). they are to meet in the hotel lobby.
she sits and waits. he walks in, looks around, looks right
at her, then right past her. walks out, walks back in, looks
again, then starts talking to the receptionist. she walks up
to him and says: "uh, don? i am <her name>." he turns around
and says "you're a WOMAN?" (true story, tho it wasn't a ro-
mance, just a net.friendship.)
heck, this is america. avodah's novel probably has a more
upbeat ending. :-)
-piranha
Marguerite Petersen
piranha <p00...@psilink.com> wrote:
>Avodah Offit <adle...@access1.digex.net> writes:
>>
>>Julie:
>>
>>I thought my novel _Virtual Love_, which concerns two sex therapists who
>>fall in love as they correspond by e-mail might be of interest to people
>>on the Internet. Have you ever had an on-line romance?
>>anybody who's met an on-line sweetheart? What happened?
Lots deleted.
> or picture this: they've talked for months, finally decide
> to meet because he has business in town, and it would be con-
> venient. she's seen a picture of him in a newsletter. she's
> given him a description (height, hair color/style, glasses,
> no carnation, sorry). they are to meet in the hotel lobby.
> she sits and waits. he walks in, looks around, looks right
> at her, then right past her. walks out, walks back in, looks
> again, then starts talking to the receptionist. she walks up
> to him and says: "uh, don? i am <her name>." he turns around
> and says "you're a WOMAN?" (true story, tho it wasn't a ro-
> mance, just a net.friendship.)
>
> heck, this is america. avodah's novel probably has a more
> upbeat ending. :-)
>
> -piranha
>
Or picture this: They've frequently argued and annoyed one another
on the net. She thinks he's an arrogant SOB. He thinks she's an
uptight bitch. They meet by accident and what do you know? He's
a sensitive, shy, soft-speaking kind of guy and *GORGEOUS* to boot.
She buys him a drink and they talk for hours. (True story.)
Marg
--
"Insufficient facts always invites danger, Captain."-Spock in Space Seed
Member PSEB Captain's Yeoman (First Shift) JLP SoL
Marg Petersen pet...@csos.orst.edu
Mark Taranto
Avodah Offit <adle...@access1.digex.net> writes:
> Julie:
> I thought my novel _Virtual Love_, which concerns two sex therapists who
> fall in love as they correspond by e-mail might be of interest to people
> on the Internet.
It might have been, had you not tried to clobber us over the head with
your advertising.
> Have you ever had an on-line romance?
You might want to edit your "Newsgroups" line. This is an
innapropriate question for most of the groups that you are posting to.
We in rec.arts.books are not interested in Julie's personal life.
Well, most of us aren't.
> My characters finally meet--but I won't spoil the ending.
Thank you, now stop spoiling the net.
> Do you know anybody who's met an on-line sweetheart? What happened?
Is your book as filled with redundant prose as your posts?
Mark
Don Weeks
: Usenet seems to be turning into a sewer these days.
Yeah, and I can't get this handle to work. . . wait. . . <flush> Ah, that's
better. Now maybe we can get past this flamestuff. ;) Is my post showing
up in Courier 12, BTW? <G>
: "_The Underground Grammarian_ does not seek to educate anyone.
: "We intend rather to ridicule, humiliate, and infuriate
: those who abuse our language not so that they will do better
: but so that they will stop using language entirely or at least go away."
: --Richard Mitchell, the Underground Grammarian, writing in 1977.
Ah, he's a neat guy. Does anyone have an address to subscribe to
UNDERGROND GRAMMARIAN, or has it gone away? I've got both of the
books Mitchell has written using UG articles, but never saw an address
to subscribe. I'm just the kind of pedantic a*hole who loves this
kind of thing.
Speaking of malapropisms, I ran across two today. First, a sign on metal
shelving units: "STEAL SHELVES--boxes under display." Well, OK, but
are you sure your store detective will understand that you said it
was all right? Second was on an application form for the neighborhood
Crime Watch thingie. This guy at a table asked Mother and I to sign
up. We looked at the list of stuff we could choose to volunteer for and
Mama said, "Young man, I think I'm too old to do some of this stuff." I looked
and saw the one she was talking about: "__I will be a street walker for
the Association fund drive." Hey, I'm all for crime watch, but this is
going a bit far. What's my commission on this?!?! (BTW, the kid never
DID understand why we wouldn't accept his redefinition of that term as
meaning "one who knocks on doors and collects donations.") Snicker!
--Shalanna Collins Weeks, wife of dwe...@netcom.com who pays the bill
"Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with me"
bo...@cos.com
That last one reminds me of the real estate company with the gold
jackets. I asked my wife that she never work for them as I did not
want her known as "The neighbourhood professional".
>--Shalanna Collins Weeks, wife of dwe...@netcom.com who pays the bill
>"Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with me"
Bob B.