Available, or not??

[Dan Jeuch]

Okay - here's a summary:

First meeting: Several words of conversation. I finally asked her if she
wanted to go to the movies or something with me, to which she said she
really wishes she could, but she cant. When I reask, she then tells me
she's engaged.

Second meeting: (coincidental - not planned at all) I ask her again.
(After another wonderful conversation.) when she says "I'd love to,
but you know the situation." I replied that I know, and added if she
ever changes her mind, she knows where to find me, to which SHE says,
"I'll keep that in mind. You never know!" and of couse, a big smile...

Anyway, it boils down to, when is someone 'off-limits?'

-Dan

[Christopher Hudel]

Dan Jeuch (d...@dev-null.phys.psu.edu) wrote:
: [First Meeting: woman announces she's enganged and can't go to the
: movies with him]
: [Second Meeting: he asks again, she says "I'll keep that in mind. You
: never know!" and of course, a big smile...]

:
: Anyway, it boils down to, when is someone 'off-limits?'

:
Someone is off-limits when they think they are! ;-) Personally, I think
that a serious relationship means other people are "off-limits" but this
is with regards to developing deep meaningful relationships, not just
going to the movies!

I make it perfectly clear to people that ask me out that I'm significantly
othered right now "but if you'd just like to go as friends, that's great
with me -- I can always use another friend!". Sometimes, they'll pass (which
I understand and respect). Sometimes, they'll say yes, just not to lose face,
and then not call aftewards (what do I care? I'm SO'ed, remember.). And
sometimes, it'll be a really nice evening with another person and they'll
become part of my circle-of-friends.

Of course, in any respect, it's in very poor taste to go out with a person
(just as a friend) without telling your boy/girlfriend first, IMHO. You don't
have to ask permission, but I at least like to make my intentions clear to
everybody.

Hope this helps,
Christopher.
--
Christopher Hudel
business: hu...@waterloo.hp.com 519/883-3080
pleasure: chu...@watarts.uwaterloo.ca
(Pleasure forwards to business...) - all comments are mine, not HP's -

[DENNIS LITTLE]

In article <1ng1t4...@dev-null.phys.psu.edu>, d...@dev-null.phys.psu.edu (Dan Jeuch) writes...

This depends on alot of different things.

1) How big is her fiance ;)
2) Can you/she handle it just as a friendship thing

Just make it perfectly clear that if you do something that causes a problem
of some type, to let you know. I've had one situation where I was making
someone uncomfortable by flirting as a friend because they knew I was
interested and it was not my intention to do so. I've also had occasions where
it worked just the opposite, boyfriend/fiance was long distance due to
college or something and every once in a while, she needed a shoulder to
lean on / somebody she could talk to. At this point, don't hold your breathe
on her ever giving you a date tho, I've also heard this excuse when the
woman was uncomfortable saying no (didn't want to loose a friend).

For the record ladies, I'd much rather hear a 'no' and any TRUE reasons
especially if they might be changed rather than a fake answer any day. If
I find out along the way that I was lied to about reasons for turn
down, it would hurt the friendship MUCH more than saying no.

me

[Lynn Dobbs]

Easy. When they say, "No."

Lynn Bruce 'No is a word I'm familiar with' Dobbs

[nancy.l.colucci]

In article <1ng1t4...@dev-null.phys.psu.edu> d...@dev-null.phys.psu.edu (Dan Jeuch) writes:
>

>Anyway, it boils down to, when is someone 'off-limits?'

If either:

1. Your conscience tells you that you really shouldn't be doing this
with that person, or

2. The person is radioactive.
--
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[john baez]

In article <1ng1t4...@dev-null.phys.psu.edu> d...@dev-null.phys.psu.edu (Dan Jeuch) writes:

>First meeting: [....] she then tells me she's engaged.

>Second meeting: [....] "I'd love to,

>but you know the situation."

>Anyway, it boils down to, when is someone 'off-limits?'

Someone is off limits when they tell you, twice, like this one did, that
they are off limits. The "I'd love to" stuff is called being polite.

[Larry Billings]

When she refuses to get drunk and pass out... ;-)
>
> -Dan
>

--
Larry
The OPINIONS expressed here are my own, and not those of my Employer or anyone
else, due to the fact that my opinions are correct, and yours are WRONG!