a doomed relationship?

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S. Wukovitz

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Sep 30, 1992, 11:52:59 PM9/30/92
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In article <1992Sep30.2...@resumix.portal.com>, ga...@resumix.portal.com
(Jonathan Ganz) says:
>In fact, when we parted after talking for oh so many hours, I got
>the impression that I could have kissed her goodnight if I had
>tried. We were a few feet apart as we were saying goodnight and
>our eyes sort of locked for an indescribable moment.
>
>So, all this seems rather idyllic (even more so now that I've
>written it down), but that still leaves me with some sort of
>strange paranoia. I've had a couple of long-term relationships
>but I've never felt anything like what I feel about her. I can't
>stop thinking about her (and, no, I'm not just thinking about
>sex :). I'm concerned that I'll do something silly and scare
>her off or that she doesn't have anything like the feelings I
>have for her.

Obviously no two romantic situations are exactly the same, but
I can at least relate the following story:

When my fiance and I started going out, for the first two dates
there was absolutely no physical stuff--we seemed very much to
click as far as all the other stuff went, though. Apparently,
as we were saying goodbye on the second date, there was a moment
very much like the one you describe, at least from his point of
view. I had no clue that he wanted to kiss me goodnight, and
so apparently (from his point of view) sort of brushed him off
at the end of what had been a very interesting and wonderful
evening. The next time we got together, he happened to be
sitting in a chair typing (we were composing a joint post to
some newsgroup) in front of me...timidly (I was rather shy back
then) I reached out and sort of half-massaged his back. Things
picked up from there, on the next few dates.

The point is that when he thought I was brushing him off at the
end of date #2, he began to strongly believe I was only
interested in him platonically, and (as I later found out)
resolved that if I didn't show any visible interest on the next
date, he was going to stop trying. Which would have been a
horrible mistake...

I guess the lesson, at least in our case, was that we both
should have been more assertive about how we felt. I don't
know if it applies to you and your friend, but perhaps it is
at least something to think about.

Hope it helps...

-Stephanie Wukovitz
st...@math.cornell.edu

Kevin Cameron

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Oct 2, 1992, 10:03:49 AM10/2/92
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In article <1992Sep30.2...@resumix.portal.com>, ga...@resumix.portal.com (Jonathan Ganz) writes:
> Well, I'm in this situation. If someone would like to offer
> some meaninful comments, I probably don't want to hear them...:)

[Lots deleted]

I should be so lucky,


Kev.

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Kevin Cameron CLSI, Suite 100, 5457 Twin Knolls Rd., MD 21045, USA
ke...@clsi.com Tel: (USA) (410) 992 5700 (- 5709) X229
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