Topic A
Guy Barry
being single...)
I was 43 recently, and I've spent nearly all of my life outside a
relationship. The one exception was a nine-month coupling I had in my
mid-thirties which it's fair to say was a disaster from start to finish - I
never liked her from the outset; she latched herself on to me and I stayed
with her through a mixture of curiosity and boredom. We were completely
incompatible and it eventually emerged that she had mental health issues.
I've generally been quite content being on my own. I've enjoyed having the
freedom to do what I like when I like, not constrained by anyone else's
agenda. I've drifted in and out of work as and when it suited me, having
only my own finances to think about. I've made some interesting
acquaintances who I might not otherwise have met. But I've recently started
feeling the lack rather badly, and I'm not entirely sure why.
I fell for the partner of one of my colleagues a little while ago. It was a
strange situation; he'd been talking to me at work about some of the
difficulties he'd been experiencing in his relationship, making her out to
sound fairly dreadful. I was then introduced to her and realized that I
already vaguely knew her, and thought she was delightful. I started to get
annoyed with him complaining about her and started defending her. She
started flirting with me slightly, and for a while I became convinced that
the whole thing was going to break up and I would be the beneficiary. It
didn't happen, of course; in fact I got the feeling that he appreciates her
more now that he's sensed that someone else might be interested in her. I
still get on with them both and I don't think any damage has been done.
But I must be giving out some sort of signals, because a couple of women
have approached me recently (and believe me, it rarely happens). I
overheard one in a pub saying that she didn't know where to find men who
were unencumbered by previous relationships or children. I mentioned that I
was in that situation, and before I knew it she was all over me, feeding me
parts of her lunch and becoming rather tactile. We didn't exchange contact
details, and I'm not sure how interested I am in her, but I wouldn't mind
the chance to find out. I went back a few days later at a time when she
said she'd be there, but to no avail.
The second experience was even stranger. A woman sitting next to me at the
bar in another pub suddenly turned to me and said "You've got mad staring
eyes". I sort of apologized to her and explained that I didn't always know
where to look when I was on my own, to which she replied "Oh that's all
right, I've got mad staring eyes too". Somehow or other this developed into
a conversation and I realized I found her quite attractive. This time I
made sure she had my email address (you've no idea how difficult I find it
to do such things!), but I don't know how to contact her. Again she said
she'd be there on a certain day, so I'm wondering whether to drop in.
But it's all new and unfamiliar to me. I was talking about it with my
colleagues recently and admitted that I simply don't know how to approach
women. Something at the back of my mind keeps telling me that they don't
welcome that sort of unsolicited attention, and in any case the sorts of
places I frequent don't generally attract a lot of single women - even in
this day and age, there seems to be a general taboo against women going into
pubs on their own. I hate the idea of going out actively "looking" - I'd
much rather these things arose spontaneously. But maybe I'm being too
idealistic.
I'm not sure why I've suddenly started feeling like this. Maybe it's
because I'm feeling the pressure financially at the moment (I currently have
a low-paid job with a taxi company) and am looking for some security. But
it's probably more an emotional thing. Last night I had a slightly
unnerving experience after I had a dispute with a bus driver and then two of
the passengers took it upon themselves to physically eject me from the bus
(I wasn't injured, fortunately). I really wished there was someone at home
to give me a hug.
Should I finally bite the bullet?
Guy
Piglet
>.... Last night I had a slightly
>unnerving experience after I had a dispute with a bus driver and then two of
>the passengers took it upon themselves to physically eject me from the bus
>(I wasn't injured, fortunately). I really wished there was someone at home
>to give me a hug.
>Should I finally bite the bullet?
No.
You should go take anger management classes, and maybe some therapy,
too.
Passengers don't just throw you off a bus. You broke some serious
social norms there. Do not attempt to navigate the fraught social
norms of dating in your current emotional state.
--
Piglet, pig...@piglet.org
"That may be YOUR point. MY point is to live each moment so as
to maximize the amount of complaining that can be done about said
moment, after the fact. It's not as easy as it looks." --jankplus
Penelope
wrote:
>Piglet, pig...@piglet.org
>"That may be YOUR point. MY point is to live each moment so as
> to maximize the amount of complaining that can be done about said
> moment, after the fact. It's not as easy as it looks." --jankplus
I have .sig love for you.
Penelope
--
You have proven yourself to be the most malicious,
classless person that I've encountered in years.
- "pointed" <poppy...@yahoo.com>
Guy Barry
"Piglet" <pig...@panix.com> wrote in message
news:gpo6v5$5ic$1...@reader1.panix.com...
> "Guy Barry" <guy....@blueyonder.co.uk>, in article
<fFyvl.55040$Au7....@newsfe12.ams2>, dixit:
> >.... Last night I had a slightly
> >unnerving experience after I had a dispute with a bus driver and then two
of
> >the passengers took it upon themselves to physically eject me from the
bus
> >(I wasn't injured, fortunately). I really wished there was someone at
home
> >to give me a hug.
>
> >Should I finally bite the bullet?
>
> No.
>
> You should go take anger management classes, and maybe some therapy,
> too.
>
> Passengers don't just throw you off a bus. You broke some serious
> social norms there. Do not attempt to navigate the fraught social
> norms of dating in your current emotional state.
Hmm, interesting. I hadn't thought about things that way.
It wasn't an angry dispute; the driver had short-changed me by five pounds
and I was counting out all my change to demonstrate that he couldn't
possibly be right. I wasn't being violent, abusive or threatening in any
way. It was the last bus back at night and some of the passengers were
anxious to get home. I can understand their frustration but I didn't expect
to be treated like that. I was quite shaken when I got in.
The following morning I spoke directly to my old manager, who's the head of
customer services at the bus station (I'm a former bus company employee).
They've taken a statement from the driver and are investigating the
incident. My treatment at the hands of other passengers is clearly not
their responsibility, but I didn't consider the incident serious enough to
involve the police. To be honest, all I'd like is to get my five pounds
back and forget the whole thing. I'm on a low wage and it's a significant
sum of money to me at the moment.
There have been a couple of recent, unrelated incidents where I've let anger
get the better of me, though. I won't go into detail here but they've been
enough to get me a little worried. I may take your advice.
Guy
Guy Barry
"Guy Barry" <guy....@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote in message
news:4ARvl.56209$Au7....@newsfe12.ams2...
> To be honest, all I'd like is to get my five pounds
> back and forget the whole thing.
Just an update to let you know that the bus company has let me have two free
journeys, which I very much appreciate. Sometimes little things mean a lot.
Guy
songbird
> "Guy Barry" wrote
...
>> To be honest, all I'd like is to get my five pounds
>> back and forget the whole thing.
>
> Just an update to let you know that the bus company has let me have
> two free journeys, which I very much appreciate. Sometimes little
> things mean a lot.
yea, better than a sharp stick in the eye!
songbird