'Should an Adult Daughter Request a Spanking?' - Bared Affair #4.01 (F/f Spoof)
Angie B
BARED AFFAIR: For old-fashioned ladies and the modern-minded girls in their
care.
#4.01, January 2006
Disclaimer: "Bared Affair" is a spoof publication that contains
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enjoyment of its readership. It is published twelve times per year on
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ASK THE READERS: SHOULD AN ADULT DAUGHTER REQUEST A SPANKING?
In this recurring column, readers are asked their opinion on a crucial
question of discipline.
Edited by Jessica Owen
Bared Affair's readers are always generous with their advice, whether it is
to mothers contemplating exactly how to take their naughty daughters down a
notch, or to teenagers looking to spare themselves from a too-painful
punishment. In this column, we are pleased to serve up a question and print
reader responses.
Dear Bared Affair:
Mom used to spank me regularly. Whenever I misbehaved she would march me
upstairs, turn me over her knee, and spank me soundly on my bare bottom with
her big wooden hairbrush. These "woodshed matinees," as she called them,
were painful and embarrassing, but very effective. When I graduated from
high school she stopped the spankings saying that I was now an adult and
that it was time for me to learn self-discipline. I was beside myself with
joy!
That was six month ago. Now I wish that mummy would bring Mr. Hairbrush back
out of retirement. It turned out that I am not good at accepting
responsibility for my actions so the self-discipline thing isn't working and
my life is a mess. My grades at community college are abysmal, I've picked
up several speeding tickets and, worst of all, my boyfriend, Fred, is about
to dump me for being an inconsiderate brat. He still lives with his stepmom
and she is really strict -- she still waits up for him with her little
leather strap if he breaks curfew!
I realize that firm maternal discipline is what I need if I am going to
"shape up." Yesterday I went to my mother, told her my troubles, handed her
the hairbrush, and asked her to give me a good hard spanking. Smiling
softly, she looked straight into my eyes and said, "Being an adult isn't
easy is it, honey?" I didn't get my spanking -- just a lecture about being
too grown up for such childish correction and about the need for
self-discipline. How can I get my mother to change her mind?
PENNY PALEBOTTOM, age 19
River City (Iowa), U.S.A.
Our readers came up with a variety of methods for Penny to address her need
for discipline:
With all due respect to Penny's mother, she does not have to grow up quite
yet. She clearly still needs some smarting guidance at the other end for
now. Her remedy is at a different locale. She should call up her boyfriend's
mother and ask her for a little private chat. Bring her some flowers and a
classic hairbrush wrapped in a bow. She can then tell Fred's mom that she
would like to take responsibility for her misbehavior that led to innocent
Freddie's strapping, and that she pines for the guidance of a strict aunt.
My guess is that Penny will start having regular tickets for "woodshed
matinees" in a new theater and that it will start a wonderful new era in her
relationship with Fred. -- Brad
Call me, Penelope. You remember me -- I was your Sunday School teacher from
1995 to 2000, and back then I wasn't able to give you the spankings you so
richly deserved for misbehaving in class. But now that you're an adult and
you realize the value of discipline, I am more than willing to take you
under my wing (and over my knee). [Name Withheld by Request]
Unfortunately for Penny I do not think her mother is about to change her
mind about not spanking her any time in the near future, especially going by
her response to Penny's request. A surrogate mother may be what is required
here. Judging by her boyfriend's mother's continued discipline of her adult
son, this lady could just fill a void in young Penny's life. -- Seegee
Perhaps Penny could "forget" to put away her copy of Bared Affair magazine,
or leave the web page up on an article that is particularly relevant to the
discipline of adult daughters. Then head for the mall and see what happens.
Her mother just might decide to snoop and read the stories and letters
about moms, step-moms, aunts, grannies and other guardians who regularly
spank girls in their 20's and beyond. And afterwards she might decide that
Penny's not too grown up at all, and has years of bare bottom spanking in
her future. -- Mae
I'm quite surprised, Penny, that you have not recognized how readily your
problem may be resolved via Fred's strict stepmother. You will be
appropriately embarrassed by having to raise your skirt or lower your slacks
in front of her and your boyfriend. As an experienced disciplinarian, she
will doubtless place her fingers in the waistband of your panties and lower
them below your knees before taking you across her skirted lap to apply the
hairbrush or the strap. This will satisfy both you and your boyfriend and I
expect his stepmom will respect you for seeking the discipline you clearly
need from her. -- Leslie
It's quite unfair of Penny's boyfriend to blame _her_ for what happened. He
is a _boy_ who will soon become a man and a father, both of which are huge
responsibilities. One of these is to be accountable for his own actions.
Penny didn't have a gun or some other means of coercion, did she? It was
_his own_ decision to stay at the dance. Of course he is angry; no teen
likes to be spanked, especially a boy. But don't let him blame Penny! She is
feeling an extra burden of guilt on this and she simply should not. It is
Fred who should mend his ways and straighten out before he starts giving
other teens advice on discipline. -- Joshua
Two readers offered lengthy and thoughtful responses that we are summarizing
here:
Penny, I think you should agree with your mom -- tell her you are too big to
be spanked and you don't know what you were thinking. Then begin to take all
the liberties you can: become more sassy, talk back, come home late, don't
do any chores, etc. As a second step, you should wear tight jeans that
accentuate your bottom all the while you are being extra naughty. Then when
you know she is lurking nearby, pretend to let her overhear you having a
phone conversation with an imaginary friend. Appear to be conspiring to
engage in some type of unacceptable behavior. Let her hear you tell the
"friend" that you can get away with murder now that you are too old to have
to worry about one of those god-awful "woodshed matinees" from your mom.
Hopefully your mother will take the bait and re-think her position on
spanking and take you on a return visit to one of those matinees -- over her
knee with panties at half mast and her arm raised high over her shoulder.
But, be careful what you wish for! Because you are older and have a more
mature bottom, you can expect your mother to really lay into you because she
will realize that a grown-up girl needs an adult dose of the hairbrush. --
John
The fact that you "want" a spanking is, in my opinion, every reason that you
should not receive one right away. Punishment doesn't work like that.
However, the spectacle of watching your boyfriend taken over his mother's
knee, properly depantsed, and strapped red and raw until he is reduced to a
bawling little boy begging his mommy for forgiveness might just be enough to
shock you into better and more responsible behavior. Penny, you should
approach Fred's mother and request a demonstration of exactly how your
boyfriend was disciplined that fateful evening.
Witnessing his very painful and humiliating punishment would -- in essence
-- kill two birds with one stone. It would reinforce to Freddie the
consequences of allowing himself to be manipulated into inappropriate
behavior, and it would reinforce to you the consequences your manipulation
has on your cherished boyfriend. Then, and only then, I believe, should you
have the audacity to request a spanking. Perhaps Fred's mother will forgive
you right away by granting your wish and allow you to join your naughty
boyfriend in the corner after a sound spanking. -- Spankadelic
JESS OWEN is the personal assistant to Bared Affair's Editrix in Chief.