What could be the reasons couple (who didn't get married recklessly) get divorce?
curiousp...@gmail.com
gilleebee
<curiousp...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:666ff4a9-5934-42c2...@p59g2000hsd.googlegroups.com...
> Enlighten me please?
>
They grow apart.
They realise they don't get on anymore.
They develop separate interests that are conflicting with their married
life.
They have an affair and its devastating to the other partner.
One partner realises they are actually gay.
They stay married until the kids grow up and move away, realise how much
they actually hate each other because they now have more time to themselves.
Anyone else care to add to the list?
gilleebee
-Elizabeth-
> <curiousperson...@gmail.com> wrote in message
They never got on.
They realized they didn't like similar things, didn't ever have the
same set of values, didn't ever share a common plan for the future.
Basically realized they didn't even like each other.
Lacklustre sex life.
Found each other too boring to even contemplate re-energizing the
relationship.
Anything else, anybody?
-Elizabeth
toramjero
> Enlighten me please?
Sometimes, one of the partners becomes abusive after marriage, having
carefully hidden that side of their personality beforehand. But the
most common reason, I believe, is because one of the partner has found
someone else (is cheating, has an affair, etc...). Now you may ask
"why do married people have affairs?".
From anecdotal samples:
-some men have affairs regularly, they appear to go in "seek mode"
every 2-4 years.
-some men are the prey of women seeking to remarry
-in some cases, one of the partner ceases to be attractive (e.g. the
woman gains lots of weight or is only interested in being a mother,
the man becomes vulgar or a couch potato, refuses to cuddle, etc...)
-in some cases, one of the partners simply refuses to have sex after a
few years.
I am sure that there are plenty of other reasons.
Anonymous Jack
> Enlighten me please?
Because it's easy?
In the US, there is little social stigma to being divorced.
To remain in a relationship, you actually have to work at it. That bit
of paper doesn't magically make you perpetually attractive and
interesting to your spouse, nor does it make your spouse feel wanted/
needed/desirable/interesting. Those are things that both spouses need
to work on, to make a marriage last.
Norton
gilleebee
"toramjero" <tora...@googlemail.com> wrote in message
news:3792219e-8bed-46b7...@v53g2000hsa.googlegroups.com...
I would like to know your motivation for this thread. Is it a way to find a
reason to leave your current boyfriend? Just curious.
gilleebee
toramjero
Now that I have read too many of your posts, I can definitely say that
in your case the first reason I cited would apply: "Sometimes, one of
the partners becomes abusive after marriage, having carefully hidden
that side of their personality beforehand.".
(but you are probably not interested to know)
curiousp...@gmail.com
curiousp...@gmail.com
You people obviously are typical male who thinks women have to cater
to your need while you guys are wishy-washy about deciding whether you
wants to check for a possible longterm relationship or not. No
surprise that women like me who do not become a slut for you bothers
you.
curiousp...@gmail.com
> "toramjero" <toramj...@googlemail.com> wrote in message
This was exactly what I was talking about, judging me by yourself.
FYI, I do not have a fxxx'n boy friend. Last Wednesday night, I key
chain and couldn't enter my place; So I called him up and met him half
way to use the spare key I have given him. We met outside a fast food
place, well lit. As he came over, he handed over the key and kept the
distance as if he was worried about having to give me a kiss, which he
always did at my place when he leaves. Fxxxc'N boyfriend, alright.
I was asking because I was interested in figuring out why the guy I am
interested in got a divorce. As for the guy some of you kept
insisting that he's my bf, this is what he did this weekend. I was
sick with flu and have 4 online exam to take with one final on Monday
and all he cared about was coming over to fuck me after I clearly told
him that I have no energy and that I needed to rest. Also, I wanted
to tell him also that it's time for me to stop seeing him - I had told
him early this year that I wanted to be available for the person with
whom I can see a future - and so he should not get upset when I tell
him that I definitely do not see a future.
As far as the other guy is concerned, our friendship is getting very
strong. I will wait however long it will take ...
toramjero
Your posts are so caricatural that you cannot possibly be real. I call
troll.
Jana
>
> As for the guy some of you kept
> insisting that he's my bf, this is what he did this weekend. I was
> sick with flu and have 4 online exam to take with one final on Monday
> and all he cared about was coming over to fuck me after I clearly told
> him that I have no energy and that I needed to rest.
Gee. Looks like a Real Man you had there. And with all the Real Men in
the world, why do I always have to wind up with the sweet, sensitive
caring types?
*sigh*
Jana
JustGB
gilleebee
<curiousp...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:6a6e6ca2-a7eb-4f17...@e38g2000prn.googlegroups.com...
still trying to leave before you encouraged the lecturer. But really, if you
want to know about the divorce you should just ask him - not us.
gilleebee
-Elizabeth-
> <curiousperson...@gmail.com> wrote in message
Yes. Too much second-guessing from curious person.
Tom Allen
> It got a bit confusing...wasn't sure if you had a boyfriend that you
> were still trying to leave before you encouraged the lecturer. But
> really, if you want to know about the divorce you should just ask him -
> not us.
Now, why didn't you ask that question a week ago?
--
Tom Allen
http://vanillaedge.wordpress.com
"I don't have multiple orgasms, myself... I am, however, known to be a
carrier."
JustGB
> gilleebee wrote:
> > It got a bit confusing...wasn't sure if you had a boyfriend that you
> > were still trying to leave before you encouraged the lecturer. But
> > really, if you want to know about the divorce you should just ask him -
> > not us.
>
> Now, why didn't you ask that question a week ago?
What? And miss this scintillating discussion? It brought me back 40-
some years to high school, passing contorted notes of speculation to
my friend about the teacher I had a crush on.... such memories!
JustGB
curiousp...@gmail.com
So Are you assuming that I never had sensitive ones? None of my bf has
ever been insensitive. This one is/was NOT my bf and will not be my
bf. I thought that we at least had friendship where he cared enough
about me but this weekend proved to me that that's not the case.
Since I was really sick, I wanted him to buy some food and bring it to
me but there would be no sex. He was busy on Saturday and so I just
said "May be tomorrow if I still need it?". He said he'd call me w/o
making any promise about bringing food tomorrow (Sunday). Obviously,
he didn't think that's a trip worth making. Not only that he didn't
call, when I called in mid morning, no answer. I knew he was home
watching his disabled daughter. He also had someone he could leave
the daughter for a couple of hours which he did in the past to come
see me and have sex.
I did not hear from him at all on Sunday and so in early evening that
day, I called and left a message that I am just calling and that not
calling to ask him for anything.
I know he has the habit of saying "I'll call you.." but he knew I was
sick and didn't call to check what I'd need because he knew he
wouldn't get any sex.
I am only explaining this part because some air-heads kept insisting
that he'd my bf and some other air-heads assumed that I wanted to dump
him because I became interested in another guy. Go ahead. Judge me
with your standards even though I already stated in my post that
whether things provceed wiht the guy I am interested in, I have
decided to stop having sex with the current guy.
suzee
No one's judging you. If you think they are, you're the one who's being
judgmental.
sue
gilleebee
<curiousp...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:4825bd5e-7a2a-49cc...@q26g2000prq.googlegroups.com...
I am astounded that curiousperson would put her whole life story on the net
and then criticise anyone who responds. Being called an airhead etc shows
how little she regards the people on usenet. Why bother?
I also think that expecting someone else to bring you food when you are sick
is silly, especially when that person obviously has their own life to live.
She shows no consideration to the answers she gets, if it doesn't suit her
then its out the window with much derision.
At least consider a point of view that is different to your own. Think about
why some replies upset you or irritate you, is it the person on usenet or is
it your own kneejerk reaction that should worry you?
Jana was sympathising with you, not poking you!
This is like a car crash...don't wanna look, but can't help it!
gilleebee
darklily
> <curiousperson...@gmail.com> wrote in message
>
> - Show quoted text -
Gilli, not to drone on and on about myself...but as an interesting
counterpoint to Curiosperson's dilemmas/questions I can't help but
think of a new relationship I am in.
I've known M less time than Curiosperson has known her instructor.
Its been just 2 months and we've talked via IM almost every day (M
lives a 5 hour drive away) and talked about many, many things. Still,
there are some things that are just better to talk about in person. So
we left some of that till this past weekend when I went for a visit.
Questions about his divorce?...hell, he freely told me about the
failings of every major relationship he's had and took responsibilty
for some of them.
I don't really get why Curiosperson asked the question either. It's
hard to answer such an open ended question without further
info....never know if the answer you give is anywhere close to
addressing what the questioner was really looking for.
Darklily
Tom Allen
> I don't really get why Curiosperson asked the question either. It's
> hard to answer such an open ended question without further
> info....never know if the answer you give is anywhere close to
> addressing what the questioner was really looking for.
It's the difference between being a grown-up and still beign in high school.
IMHBCO, of course.
--
Tom Allen
http://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/
"I don't have multiple orgasms, myself. I am, however, known to be a
carrier."
curiousp...@gmail.com
IF anyone here really think that I was expecting to find out why he
got a divorce from this forum, that person is more air-head than I can
describe. Someone accused me by asking whether I was asking such a
question in order to find out excuse to dump my current guy and I
explained "No, I was trying to figure out why the other guy had a
divorce" and the next thing I knew, air-head start accusing me that I
am trying to find out such an answer on this forum, Brilliant....not.
As for that women knowing guy for 2 months and constantly IM-ing,
that's just typical of this lonely society here, isn't it? He and I
got more life than most people here in USA and so I know for a fact
that we will never do IM-ing (referring to even if and when we date).
BTW, during last class, he also made a comment about how he had never
gone on an online date and shared a comment one of his buddies made.
Frankly, I think he was giving out info (to me) that he is not seeking
online dates.
darklily
>
> As for that women knowing guy for 2 months and constantly IM-ing,
> that's just typical of this lonely society here, isn't it? He and I
> got more life than most people here in USA and so I know for a fact
> that we will never do IM-ing (referring to even if and when we date).
>
I'm "that woman." You actually snipped the part of my post about IMing
the new person I am seeing (M) and apparently haven't been able to
follow along on any of my posts for the past couple of months. If you
were capable, you'd know that I am far from lonely. I have been
happily married to my DH for 15 years (we have been together as a
couple for 21 years) and have two wonderful kids. He is the love of my
life and I am his as well. I had another very close
relationship(concurent with my marriage) for about 5 years, but
ultimately there were some things we couldn't overcome. I am a
professional with my own business and my husband is very successful as
well in his career. I have a house, family, friends, hobbies, etc.
There's loads of stuff I don't post about here because it has nothing
to do with sexuality. Like my trip to the Bahamas a month ago or my
oldest kid winning a photography contest or the DH getting close to
earning his black belt in Taekwondo. I lead a pretty full life.
If you'd been following along, you'd know that I didn't meet M online
(not that it matters), but you would have seen that he doesn't live
near me. In this situation, IMing is a great way to talk about things.
If I waited until I could actually be in the same room with him, our
relationship would be much further behind than it is now. I've met
loads of people locally that have wanted to go out with me, but where
someone lives isn't really that high on my list in determining whether
I will seek a relationship with them. There are issues that are alot
more important than that to me.
For that matter, the DH and I IM when he goes out of town on business.
It's a tool.
So the answer as to whether my IMing is typical of a lonely society
would be "no." In fact, it surely seems that in comparison you are the
one with the lonely life.
Darklily
curiousp...@gmail.com
Again, really? What happened to my previous response?
curiousp...@gmail.com
Wow..such a long post just to explain that you are not lonely and then
makes accusation that I am the one with lonely life?. Well, I am not
lonely enough to do IM with a guy just for sexual escapades.
suzee
She's not IMing just for sexual escapades, they have discussions.
There's more to a relationship than sex.
sue
-Elizabeth-
Sorry, no idea what you're talking about.
curiousp...@gmail.com
Really. Do you think I was going to assume his reason just like
that?
I was merely surprised that someone like him got divorced. I will find
out whose idea was the divorce, his or his ex. And I will find out
the reason. I will find out ..I will find out ...In another word, I am
not jumping into any form of relationship with him - because I want no
drama - until I get all the facts I need.
darklily
You are right on the money, Sue. In fact, there haven't been *any* IM
sexual escapades (no cyber sex) with M. On top of that, when I went to
visit M this past weekend a mutual friend of ours (which is how we
met) came over to his place and joked about whether he was
interrupting something. The funny part was that we were just talking
about constitutional law...although we were both naked in his bed.
Oh, and Curiousperson...my post is nowhere near as long as your
incoherent ramblings have been. I don't think you have any point to
make. In fact, I think that your last post was very feeble and just
underscores my point.
Darklily (I also just want to say that I don't see anything wrong with
cyber sex)
Tom Allen
> Wow..such a long post just to explain that you are not lonely and then
> makes accusation that I am the one with lonely life?. Well, I am not
> lonely enough to do IM with a guy just for sexual escapades.
CP, you obviously have a very negative view on sex. What would even make
you post in a *sexuality* group for advice, especially if you're going
to make derogatory cracks about it?
--
Tom Allen
http://vanillaedge.wordpress.com
"I don't have multiple orgasms, myself... I am, however, known to be a
carrier."
Tom Allen
> IF anyone here really think that I was expecting to find out why he
> got a divorce from this forum, that person is more air-head than I can
> describe.
Let's see how anyone could have gotten such an idea... oh, wait - here's
the subject header:
"What could be the reasons couple (who didn't get married recklessly)
get divorce?"
> As for that women knowing guy for 2 months and constantly IM-ing,
> that's just typical of this lonely society here, isn't it? He and I
> got more life than most people here in USA and so I know for a fact
> that we will never do IM-ing (referring to even if and when we date).
My, my - didn't we have our two-minute hate this morning? I don't think
I have the energy to explain why IMing is a perfectly acceptable form of
communication, and that it has nothing to do with being lonely.
> BTW, during last class, he also made a comment about how he had never
> gone on an online date and shared a comment one of his buddies made.
> Frankly, I think he was giving out info (to me) that he is not seeking
> online dates.
But so what if he is? Why would that make one tiny bit of difference?
Jana
> curiousp...@gmail.com wrote:
>
<snip>
>
>
>> As for that women knowing guy for 2 months and constantly IM-ing,
>> that's just typical of this lonely society here, isn't it? He and I
>> got more life than most people here in USA and so I know for a fact
>> that we will never do IM-ing (referring to even if and when we date).
>
> My, my - didn't we have our two-minute hate this morning? I don't think
> I have the energy to explain why IMing is a perfectly acceptable form of
> communication, and that it has nothing to do with being lonely.
>
Of course if it did have anything to do with being lonely, it would be
quite appropriate to rub it in when you know someone is doing it.
Jana
Tom Allen
C'mere, sweetie...
Closer...
Closer...
No, even closer...
: *thwack* :
--
Tom Allen
http://vanillaedge.wordpress.com
"I don't have multiple orgasms, myself... I am, however, known to be a
carrier."
Dave
<2e707aaf-e5fd-43c3...@o4g2000pra.googlegroups.com>
curiousp...@gmail.com was claimed to have wrote:
>Wow..such a long post just to explain that you are not lonely and then
>makes accusation that I am the one with lonely life?. Well, I am not
>lonely enough to do IM with a guy just for sexual escapades.
You really don't get it, do you?
Do you understand that IM means "Instant Message", and is not inherently
sexual and instead is simply a way of communicating, or are you thinking
it means cyber-sex?
Norton
>*sigh*
Just bad luck, Jana, just bad luck.
--
--- Norton
Norton
You too? What is it with you women. Dregs, you get the
dregs.
I'm going to have to work harder on mine. I've not pushed
an unwilling woman into having sex with me in *weeks!*
What will people think of me?
--
--- Norton
Denny Wheeler
>No one's judging you. If you think they are, you're the one who's being
>judgmental.
Oh, I'm judging her--that is, I'm judging her by her behavior in ssg.
If she works hard, she may advance to "loser" from where she is now.
--
"Every single religion that has a monotheistic god
winds up persecuting someone else."
-Philip Pullman
-denny-
(not as curmudgeonly as I useta be)
Denny Wheeler
wrote:
>This was exactly what I was talking about, judging me by yourself.
>FYI, I do not have a fxxx'n boy friend.
Well, I see what was described. A selfish, rude--evidently
immature--pouter.
Why don't you go back to junior high, and try to develop some
knowledge of, and appreciation for, others?
twit.