Why are men afraid of strong women ?
Janina Edison
Why are men scared of big and strong women?
Women are not afraid of me, so is lesbian sex my only option?
JustGB
I would certainly hope you wouldn't have to change your sexual
orientation to get some sex!
Off the top of my head, I seem to recall that years ago I saw a program
that talked about the problems that both tall women and men face in
society. I remember it talked about a club or an association of very
tall people where many eventual couples met.
I just googled and found a bunch of sites, among them these two.
http://www.tall.org/index.cfm?CFID=638431&CFTOKEN=28641247
http://www.tallwomen.org/
I haven't checked them out but I would be surprised if they didn't
address your problem which no doubt many others face.
JustGB
«Pas de deux»
"Janina Edison" <goddess...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:43a4cd1e.05030...@posting.google.com...
If that's what you're into.
Sometimes it's not size per se but the size of one's personality that
men are afraid of. I know that many men don't like bossy women. If
you're kind and understanding, fair and willing I can't see why it would
matter than you can move the fridge. It could be an asset. Maybe some
guys can respond to this.
Ballerina
Ana
"«Pas de deux»" <kamou...@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:mikVd.31226$Vf6.9...@news20.bellglobal.com...
It depends on how big the asset is.
;-)
>
> Ballerina
>
Ana, pretending to be a man
Remus Shepherd
However, because of strong women (strong-willed, not strong-armed) I
have been hit in the head with a frying pan, given a bleeding ulcer,
and lost a home, car, and all the furniture in a divorce.
Just a point of data for you. :)
... ...
Remus Shepherd <re...@panix.com>
Gee Ty
types of women. I had the opportunity to have a very intense sexual
relationship with a very muscular, athletic woman for 2 years. The only
reason it stopped was because she moved away. Keep looking, don't give
up. I'm sure you are the dream woman for thousands of men out there.
Gene
Tom Allen
No, Bal, I think you nailed it. I was looking at the return addy, and I
see "goddess_janina". Now, I understand that people love to use a
flavored nym on the net, but still it makes me wonder about Janina's own
attitude toward those around her.
And yes, there is that old adage that men are "agressive" and women are
"bitchy", but sometimes some of us - men and women - really *are* just
bitchy.
As to the physical stuff, I think that, too can be a factor of how it's
presented. a 6' 2" woman is considerably larger than average, especially
if she's muscular. Since most men tend to choose women within a few
inches of their own height (and generally under their own height), it
cuts down Janina's dating pool. Why are men like that? I don't know, but
I suspect that there is a fear that a tall woman would leave them for a
taller man, much in the same way that many men are afraid of a woman
leaving them for someone with more money. There is a tacit belief that
height (like money) equates to more power.
Tom
Ana
"Tom Allen" <taomli...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:38mrtvF...@individual.net...
<snip>
> There is a tacit belief that
> height (like money) equates to more power.
>
> Tom
>
And in the US, the pay goes up several hundreds of dollars per inch of hight
(on a yearly basis, not counting gender differences... I mean, taking them
into account).
Apart from that, men are somewhat afraid of *me*, and I'm 165cm, more or
less average for my generation and location. But the ones that don't run
away, they're really worth it.
Ana
«Pas de deux»
"Ana" <atod...@isp.b92.net> wrote in message
news:38msgmF...@individual.net...
....like I said, it isn't *size* per se....;-)
Ballerina
Delila
> less average for my generation and location.
They're afraid of you because of your height? 165 cm is not tall at all.
It's about average in the US. It's about 5 feet 4 inches. Maybe they're
afraid of your confidence?
D.
Ana
"Delila" <WATERT...@SPAMpeoplepc.com> wrote in message
news:ZHtVd.122$KD6...@newsread2.news.atl.earthlink.net...
Yes, of course. I mean, they're afraid of a lot of things :-), but I didn't
mean my height is one of them. I meant - even though my height is average,
they get scared off.
Ana
Norton
><snip>
That's five foot five inches. And clearly not the reason why
men are somewhat afraid of you.
In my experience, mostly heresay because I've not dated
any men, men shy away from women who are smarter than they
are, taller than they are, and more agressive than they
are.
And no, I don't *know* why.
Norton.
EdDig...@aol.com
It may take awhile to find the right man.
Not all men are scaired or afraid of big strong women. Some are evean
turned on by
them.
Ed
Albert 4
Edison) wrote:
Hmmmm, I've trimmed alt.culture.warrior-women from the list of
newsgroups. I wonder if the general tenor of posts in that
newsgroup encourage partners to treat each other with respect and
dignity regardless of any physical inequalities?
I'd have to say to "goddess_janina" that most men aren't afraid
tall muscular women; however most men would rather not spend time
with people who spend their energy and time "proving" how
big-and-strong they are.
I'll bet she could take me in a fair fight; but if I were single
I'd still give her a proper 'seeing-to'.
I'm married to a woman 185 cm (about 6'1") and I'm only 178 cm
(about 5'10").
You know what they say... "The bigger they are, the harder they
fuck" or something like that ;-)
Delila
"Norton" <nor...@nyc.rr.com> wrote in message
news:d06399$m7g$8...@reader2.panix.com...
>
> In my experience, mostly heresay because I've not dated
> any men, men shy away from women who are smarter than they
> are, taller than they are, and more agressive than they
> are.
>
> And no, I don't *know* why.
It's biology. It's hard-wired into men's brains to want women who are
physically smaller and less aggressive. From an evolutionary standpoint, men
want to protect women.
D.
dreas
"«Pas de deux»" <kamou...@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:mikVd.31226$Vf6.9...@news20.bellglobal.com...
>
From my perspective, being a little shorter than average, I find women
of all shapes and sizes attractive. The ones who are very tall look right
over and past me in my experience. I try to get their attention, but they
don't seem to get the hint or catch on. Oh well...
-'dreas
patrick
> Ana <atod...@isp.b92.net> wrote:
>
[snip]
>
>
>>Apart from that, men are somewhat afraid of *me*, and I'm 165cm, more or
>>less average for my generation and location. But the ones that don't run
>>away, they're really worth it.
>
>
> That's five foot five inches. And clearly not the reason why
> men are somewhat afraid of you.
>
> In my experience, mostly heresay because I've not dated
> any men, men shy away from women who are smarter than they
> are, taller than they are, and more agressive than they
> are.
>
> And no, I don't *know* why.
>
>
> Norton.
>
Because we men are such delicate flowers who wilt at the prospect that
we might be superfluous to such a fine speciman of femininity?
-patrick
--
Gulliver knows a horse doesn't handle my e-mail
rg
"dreas" <dr...@shaw.ca> wrote in message
news:VAFVd.564047$8l.111221@pd7tw1no...
-'dreas
You should take a cue from the male midget that married the slightly tall
woman.
When they were nose to nose, he had his toes in it
and
When they were toes to toes, he had his nose in it.
Perhaps if you stood ....realllll close , they would notice you. I mean,
really close.
rg
illecebra
Hash: SHA1
It's not very well hard-wired into hubby's brain. I'm definitely much
bigger than him (same height but he's very skinny and I'm quite a bit
wider), and I'm the more aggressive/assertive of the two of us. The
only one of his former girlfriends I remember meeting is about his size
and build, but much more aggressive than either me or hubby.
Susan
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Delila
"illecebra" <vyyrpro...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:38opilF...@individual.net...
> It's not very well hard-wired into hubby's brain. I'm definitely much
> bigger than him (same height but he's very skinny and I'm quite a bit
> wider), and I'm the more aggressive/assertive of the two of us. The
> only one of his former girlfriends I remember meeting is about his size
> and build, but much more aggressive than either me or hubby.
I was speaking generally. There are, of course, always exceptions.
D.
illecebra
Hash: SHA1
I know. I was just pointing one out.
Susan
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Norton
Norton is different. Sex is hardwired into Norton's brain.
The urge to merge, the desire to penetrate, the longing to
come deep inside -- those are hardwired into Norton's brain.
Norton, like most men, is complex. Also wired into Norton's
brain is the need to care for and protect the bearer or
possible future bearers of the child of Norton's seed.
The size of the woman just doesn't seem to be wired into
Norton's brain at all.
On the other hand, Norton lives in a society that has an
image of tall men and shorter women. And he lives in a
society that sometimes claims that shorter men are better
in bed.
Go figure.
Norton.
Ana
They also have a problem with women in leadership roles.
And I tend to dominate after a while.
And in the U.S, women who work in leadership positions are six times less
likely to get married than women who are not. :-)
The interesting thing is, my partner is also a very dominant person. And we
get along just fine. It's not the kind of aggressive dominance where getting
on top is a matter of mental health, we just sort of naturally emerge as
leaders whatever we do. But it just might seem to others that this would
make us hard to reason with. Which is not true at all, we back down for each
other all the time, because the point is not to be right, but to have a
pleasant time together. Anyway, the relationship people in general have with
me is often a mixture of admiration/adoration and fear. And in order to
prevent this (I need equals, I need friends who can support me as well), I
act a bit childish from time to time, or exaggerate some pain I feel or
whatever will make me seem more vulnerable and more human. And, the sad
thing is, I give less support to others. It's too bad, but it seems to work.
When I'm down, I'm not all alone any more. When you're generally strong,
people seem to just get scared shitless when you show some weakness, and
they flee.
The gender test at thespark.com also tells me I'm male. And the common
masculinity-femininity tests give me the same result, that I'm very
masculine (which would mean - self-confident, strong, a leader, and not
insecure, weak... duh!). I guess I don't fulfill the common expectations on
how a woman should act. And somebody with silky, golden hair that reaches
all the way down to their bottom should *not* act like a leader.
>
> And no, I don't *know* why.
>
>
> Norton.
>
Ana
«Pas de deux»
Because they're bossy? And bossy feels like mommy/school-teacher?
Ballerina
illecebra
Hash: SHA1
Ana wrote:
<snip>
<snip>
Yep. I've been in the same situation.
I think that part of it has to do with the myth that strong women are
attracted to weak men who lack masculinity. IME, it's just not true. I
can't stand being with guys who I don't see as equals, or who don't see
me as an equal. Hubby and I are equals in our relationship, though I
think it doesn't always look that way to outsiders, since I'm such a
control freak and he's so laid back.
I do have a tendency to try to take care of anyone who looks to me for
support, and your experience holds: it leaves me with precious few
people to lean on when I need to.
Susan
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«Pas de deux»
Then, in what way are you equals? [I ask this not accusingly, but with
genuine curiosity]
The control freak *usually* needs to be in charge, make decisions,
organise, sympatise...the laid back person *usually* doesn't do any of
those things but agree with the control freak...thus, often be seen as
"equal" because he/she is not disagreeing or causing conflict.
> I do have a tendency to try to take care of anyone who looks to me for
> support, and your experience holds: it leaves me with precious few
> people to lean on when I need to.
> Susan
I understand. I was such a person as well. However, it is important to
*let go* from time to time. Be weak. Don't be quick to support if it
means compromising yourself. You can't blame people for not being able
to read your mind. Most people observe one's behaviour, and if you are
always the strong one then that becomes the archetype.
The hardest times for me have been actually *allowing* someone to
witness me in my weakest moments....holding me and saying "there,
there...everything will be alright, I'll take care of it." And while
that was so very hard to allow, it was one of the best feelings on
earth. To be nurtured. Now, being *understood*, is a whole other kettle
of fish!
Ballerina
Norton
That's a point. But don't blame it just on gender or
testosterone. Men are strongly conditioned to take the
lead, especially with women.
The strength of that conditioning is often overlooked
by women.
Norton the bossy.
«Pas de deux»
I actually was referring to bossy women and that's why men shy away from
them--because they remind men of their mothers or school teachers. Men
may be inclined to take the lead, but women usually show them who's
boss! ;-)
Ballerina
Ana
Yeah...
Funny thing, the person who helped me understand this was a dragon-lady
herself. I had a very close friend who was becoming a serious drug-addict,
and went to this woman, a psychotherapist and a friend of the family, to ask
about what I can or can't do to help. She told me about different procedures
in treating addiction, different effects of the drugs the friend was taking,
pretty formal stuff. Then she looked me in the eye and said: "Ana, you are
*not* responsible for her life. Do you undestand me?" And for the first time
ever, I understood. I told myself this many times, but it took someone
stronger than me to tell me, to make me believe.
> You can't blame people for not being able
> to read your mind. Most people observe one's behaviour, and if you are
> always the strong one then that becomes the archetype.
>
> The hardest times for me have been actually *allowing* someone to
> witness me in my weakest moments....holding me and saying "there,
> there...everything will be alright, I'll take care of it."
And another: yeah...
Though I had the "advantage" of my country being bombed when I was 19. The
fact that some outside force you can do nothing about thinks your life
worthless, well, it puts things into perspective. Or changes the perspective
for good. I reached the bottom of that pit of despair in no time, and almost
all the people important to me were in the same position. Except it didn't
change my view on politics, I didn't start hating, which made me something
like the loneliest person in the world for a while.
Letting go, being afraid, weak, sobbing in front of others - that's nothing
compared to frantically trying to find a reason, any reason, why your life
still is worth living, and then trying to understand why nobody can see
this... and all the while realizing that it's a childish way of thinking,
that there are mass graves, hundreds of thousands of refugees, that it's a
political thing and if you lose someone important along the way, it wasn't
intentional. There *are* no personal intentions, no emotions, no hatred in
that pilot flying above, you are just... a nobody.
I actually managed to obtain a visa and get outside the country a few hours
before it all started. I can't imagine what a wreck I would be if I stayed.
But it did help me realize, in a matter of just a day or two, that I'm far
from being omnipotent, and I shouldn't act the part.
Ana
p.s. watched a very heavy war movie yesterday - does it show? ;-)
illecebra
Hash: SHA1
«Pas de deux» wrote:
| "illecebra" <vyyrpro...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
| news:38p1opF...@individual.net...
<snip>
|
|> Hubby and I are equals in our relationship, though I think it
|> doesn't always look that way to outsiders, since I'm such a control
|> freak and he's so laid back.
|
| Then, in what way are you equals? [I ask this not accusingly, but
| with genuine curiosity] The control freak *usually* needs to be in
| charge, make decisions, organise, sympatise...the laid back person
| *usually* doesn't do any of those things but agree with the control
| freak...thus, often be seen as "equal" because he/she is not
| disagreeing or causing conflict.
When I say that we are equals, I mean that when decisions effecting the
family come along, we discuss them and make the decision together
whenever possible. (I end up making unilateral decisions a lot when the
army's whisked him off to where we can't communicate, but if I didn't,
nothing would ever get done!) When we disagree on something, neither
one of us almost always gets their way... we compromise, or one gets
there way in one instance, and the other in the next.
When I say I'm a control freak and he's laid back, I mean that:
~ -- I am rather a penny pincher, and until he was married to me, hubby
would just spend without keeping track and trust that it would work out
in the end.
~ -- I like to plan things ahead, he would rather save himself the
trouble and play it by ear.
~ -- I make color-coded lists, he laughs at my color-coded lists.
~ -- He's good with emotions, I usually choose to ignore mine until
either I'm overwhelmed (rare, but not pretty) or I find a convenient
time to shun human contact for a while and deal with whatever is
bothering me in privacy.
~ -- When he listens to someone, he just listens. I always try to
suggest ways to fix things. (I'm working on it.)
~ -- I'm a workaholic, he's not.
I make him deal with money more responsibly (whether he likes it or
not). He makes me deal with emotions more sanely (whether I like it or
not). We temper each other out (he plans more, I plan less) in most
other things, so in the end, we are equals.
Does that make sense?
|> I do have a tendency to try to take care of anyone who looks to me
|> for support, and your experience holds: it leaves me with precious
|> few people to lean on when I need to. Susan
|
| I understand. I was such a person as well. However, it is important
| to *let go* from time to time. Be weak. Don't be quick to support if
| it means compromising yourself. You can't blame people for not being
| able to read your mind. Most people observe one's behaviour, and if
| you are always the strong one then that becomes the archetype.
|
| The hardest times for me have been actually *allowing* someone to
| witness me in my weakest moments....holding me and saying "there,
| there...everything will be alright, I'll take care of it." And while
| that was so very hard to allow, it was one of the best feelings on
| earth. To be nurtured. Now, being *understood*, is a whole other
| kettle of fish!
|
| Ballerina
|
That's what hubby keeps trying to teach me... it hasn't really taken.
Until hubby came along, I may have well been a Star Trek Vulcan, total
control, all the time. He turned that upside down, but I still haven't
learned to like having more normal reactions to emotions.
Susan
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«Pas de deux»
> -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
> Hash: SHA1
>
> «Pas de deux» wrote:
> | "illecebra" <vyyrpro...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> | news:38p1opF...@individual.net...
> <snip>
> not). He makes me deal with emotions more sanely (whether I like it
> or
> not). We temper each other out (he plans more, I plan less) in most
> other things, so in the end, we are equals.
>
> Does that make sense?
Yep. Makes good sense.
> | The hardest times for me have been actually *allowing* someone to
> | witness me in my weakest moments....holding me and saying "there,
> | there...everything will be alright, I'll take care of it." And while
> | that was so very hard to allow, it was one of the best feelings on
> | earth. To be nurtured. |
> | Ballerina
> That's what hubby keeps trying to teach me... it hasn't really taken.
> Until hubby came along, I may have well been a Star Trek Vulcan, total
> control, all the time. He turned that upside down, but I still
> haven't
> learned to like having more normal reactions to emotions.
>
> Susan
I do suggest you take off the Spock ears on occasion and let go. What's
the worse that could happen? Your hubby sounds rather supportive and
strong [the strong, silent type], he could handle your weaknesses, and
may secretly wish for it from time to time.
When my ex-husband and I split after 27 years of marriage, he admitted
to me that he was awed by my competence and creativity, but feared it
most of his life.
I'm with someone now who is as competent as I am, as strong as I am, and
smarter than me. Keeps me humble. Makes me infinitely less bossy and the
responsibility that came with making all the decisions has been lifted.
I always believed that staying strong, staying on top of things meant
more control, I discovered that [for myself] it was quite the opposite.
It sort of enslaved me. There is far more freedom in allowing a little
vulnerability, in not being the decision-maker all the time, in allowing
yourself to be a "princess" for the day [but only if you like it,
otherwise, it defeats the purpose]. It also works wonders on grown
children who start to see you for the first time as a real person.
Ballerina
illecebra
Hash: SHA1
«Pas de deux» wrote:
<snip>
| I do suggest you take off the Spock ears on occasion and let go. What's
| the worse that could happen? Your hubby sounds rather supportive and
| strong [the strong, silent type], he could handle your weaknesses, and
| may secretly wish for it from time to time.
I know that he seems to feel I'm more human when I let go from time to
time. (Of course, it makes me feel less human.) If I had to play
amateur psychologist, I'd say that when I worked with a lot of abused
kids (some horrible cases) I came to see emotions as a liability. I'm
less like that when hubby is around a lot, and I find it hard to turn
off emotion completely with my son around. (Silly maternal instincts!)
| When my ex-husband and I split after 27 years of marriage, he admitted
| to me that he was awed by my competence and creativity, but feared it
| most of his life.
|
| I'm with someone now who is as competent as I am, as strong as I am, and
| smarter than me. Keeps me humble. Makes me infinitely less bossy and the
| responsibility that came with making all the decisions has been lifted.
:) Hubby has all the emotional intelligence around here. I got so used
to ignoring mine that I never got very good with them, I'm like a clumsy
preteen in that department.
| I always believed that staying strong, staying on top of things meant
| more control, I discovered that [for myself] it was quite the opposite.
| It sort of enslaved me. There is far more freedom in allowing a little
| vulnerability, in not being the decision-maker all the time, in allowing
| yourself to be a "princess" for the day [but only if you like it,
| otherwise, it defeats the purpose]. It also works wonders on grown
| children who start to see you for the first time as a real person.
| Ballerina
|
You know, you and hubby would get along very well. (Though I'm afraid
to imagine the two of you ganging up on me... OTOH might be fun ;P )
Susan
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Gello
> I'm a 6'2" muscular woman and all the men are afraid of my size and my strength.
>
> Why are men scared of big and strong women?
>
> Women are not afraid of me, so is lesbian sex my only option?
>
Well, I am a man and I happen to find muscular women VERY attractive!!!
Gello
RJ
>I'm a 6'2" muscular woman and all the men are afraid of my size and my strength.
>
>Why are men scared of big and strong women?
>
>Women are not afraid of me, so is lesbian sex my only option?
Cross posting removed.
I can only speak for myself.
I get turned on by all sorts of women but that excludes are under 21
years or over 57 years old, or have illness, or are a blood relative to
me, or are pregnant, any woman not included in that list is OK for me.
Laurent Bugnion
RJ wrote:
I'd be interested to know how you decided that your limits are exactly
21 and exactly 57 years old... Care to enlighten me?
And pregnant women are the sexiest. Really. Especially when it's with
your own kid ;-)
Laurent
Omega
> In my experience, mostly heresay because I've not dated
> any men, men shy away from women who are smarter than they
> are, taller than they are, and more agressive than they
> are.
>
>
I'm only smarter than everage person, but still I never had a bf. The
way I see it, it's because of my intelligence. I used to be a primus in
school. Now I'm 21 and study computing science, and I'm still one of the
best. I always tell myself, that maybe 20 year olds are affraid, but
older men will not be. Am I rigth to think that way, what do you think?
Omega
Norton
>Omega
You are right to think that way, but there are many in
your age group who do not mind a woman who is intelligent.
Look for the shy ones. They tend to be afraid of women,
not of brains. So you may have to make friends with them
in order to give them some strength.
Norton.
dwacon
"Janina Edison" <goddess...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:43a4cd1e.05030...@posting.google.com...
strength.
>
> Why are men scared of big and strong women?
>
> Women are not afraid of me, so is lesbian sex my only option?
>
Did I see you at a party at the New Zealand Embassy? It probably wasn't you
, but just by way of making a point... I once encountered a tall (6+'),
somewhat Amazonian woman with curly blonde hair who danced all nite with
other gals while the men stood at a distance and watched. The girls around
her seemed to be like a protective circle... but when she broke from the
group to get a drink I approached her and *she* got intimidated and couldn't
seem to keep a casual conversation going. She retreated to her girlfriends
who intercepted any further approaches.
Perhaps more than your size could be at issue?
--
Certified Wild Women
Are you one? Do you know one?
http://tinyurl.com/6yoqs
Lainie
much to fear.....
David Stites
rude, condesending, and aggressive equals being strong. It doesn't.
"Omega" <omeg...@poczta.onet.pl> wrote in message
news:d0cq48$kg9$1...@sunflower.man.poznan.pl...
RJ
<galas...@bluewin.ch> wrote:
>Hi,
>
>RJ wrote:
>
>> On 1 Mar 2005 23:58:41 -0800, goddess...@hotmail.com (Janina Edison)
>> wrote:
>>
>>
>>>I'm a 6'2" muscular woman and all the men are afraid of my size and my strength.
>>>
>>>Why are men scared of big and strong women?
>>>
>>>Women are not afraid of me, so is lesbian sex my only option?
>>
>>
>> Cross posting removed.
>>
>> I can only speak for myself.
>> I get turned on by all sorts of women but that excludes are under 21
>> years or over 57 years old, or have illness, or are a blood relative to
>> me, or are pregnant, any woman not included in that list is OK for me.
>
>I'd be interested to know how you decided that your limits are exactly
>21 and exactly 57 years old... Care to enlighten me?
>
I try not to even fantasize about women that I am not sure their age,
and yes that may be a bit extreme, sometimes looks could be deceiving.
For example if a woman is looking too young for me, I try not to get any
thoughts about her, in that way.
>And pregnant women are the sexiest. Really. Especially when it's with
>your own kid ;-)
I am not married, nor have a living in girlfriend, so I wouldn't know,
and cannot imagine having sex with her when she is pregnant, I probably
would 've go back to masturbation if she was pregnant. :-)
suzee
You may be doing both of you a disservice. Many women report increased
sex drive during the middle part of pregnancy.
sue
A Guy
Wow.
I didn't know that, but thank you for the information, sure helps If I
have such situtation.
RJ.
suzee
Not all, mind you, but some do.
sue