sex with multiple partners -- query primarily for women
Pilcrow
it pleasurable? Gangbangs are common in porn. How common is it for
women, outside of commercial porn or prostitution, to enjoy and to
initiate multiple partners, simultaneously or in tandem?
Another question: Prostitution is usually depicted, in main stream
media, as a profession that no woman would pick if able to earn as much
otherwise. Is this always true? Do any women pick prostitution as they
would any other occupation -- by talent or ability, liking of the work,
earning potential, employment opportunities, etc.?
Still another question: How common is it for women to pay for sex?
I apologize if these questions seem old hat, but I have puzzled over
them all my life, and I am now an old man.
gilleebee
"Pilcrow" <pilc...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:s96sf4dqlhhmfgef8...@4ax.com...
> Sex with multiple partners seems to be easier for women than men, but is
> it pleasurable? Gangbangs are common in porn. How common is it for
> women, outside of commercial porn or prostitution, to enjoy and to
> initiate multiple partners, simultaneously or in tandem?
>
Don't know, it would be hard for one person to judge this...google it and
see what happens.
> Another question: Prostitution is usually depicted, in main stream
> media, as a profession that no woman would pick if able to earn as much
> otherwise. Is this always true? Do any women pick prostitution as they
> would any other occupation -- by talent or ability, liking of the work,
> earning potential, employment opportunities, etc.?
>
I would consider prostitution if I could choose who I sleep with.
> Still another question: How common is it for women to pay for sex?
>
I have never paid for sex, and don't know anyone who has (female), but we
can't assume anything here.
> I apologize if these questions seem old hat, but I have puzzled over
> them all my life, and I am now an old man.
>
>
How old are you?
gilleebee
Gordon
> Sex with multiple partners seems to be easier for women than men, but is
> it pleasurable? Gangbangs are common in porn. How common is it for
> women, outside of commercial porn or prostitution, to enjoy and to
> initiate multiple partners, simultaneously or in tandem?
Hint, can we deal with one thing at a time?
While porn is sex, sex is not porn always.
>
> Another question: Prostitution is usually depicted, in main stream
> media, as a profession that no woman would pick if able to earn as much
> otherwise. Is this always true?
Clearly not. Some women will enjoy what they do as positutes.
All work, is like prositution in that we do it for the money, albeit
enjoying parts of it.
Gordon
>
> "Pilcrow" <pilc...@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:s96sf4dqlhhmfgef8...@4ax.com...
>> Sex with multiple partners seems to be easier for women than men, but is
>> it pleasurable? Gangbangs are common in porn. How common is it for
>> women, outside of commercial porn or prostitution, to enjoy and to
>> initiate multiple partners, simultaneously or in tandem?
>>
>
> Don't know, it would be hard for one person to judge this...google it and
> see what happens.
>
>> Another question: Prostitution is usually depicted, in main stream
>> media, as a profession that no woman would pick if able to earn as much
>> otherwise. Is this always true? Do any women pick prostitution as they
>> would any other occupation -- by talent or ability, liking of the work,
>> earning potential, employment opportunities, etc.?
>>
>
> I would consider prostitution if I could choose who I sleep with.
>
>
fix the blocked toilet, as an example.
toramjero
> Sex with multiple partners seems to be easier for women than men, but is
> it pleasurable? Gangbangs are common in porn. How common is it for
> women, outside of commercial porn or prostitution, to enjoy and to
> initiate multiple partners, simultaneously or in tandem?
>
I am not a woman and I don't have first hand experience with multiple
partners, but I can say that swinger clubs advertise gang bang parties
where I live. The entrance price for men is high, but not quite high
enough to make prostitution a clear possibility. So, yes, it seems
that the activity exists outside of prostitution and porn.
Also the French woman Catherine Millet has written a book about her
experiences of gang bangs a few years ago. She did not do it for the
money, she earned enough as an art critic.
> Another question: Prostitution is usually depicted, in main stream
> media, as a profession that no woman would pick if able to earn as much
> otherwise. Is this always true? Do any women pick prostitution as they
> would any other occupation -- by talent or ability, liking of the work,
> earning potential, employment opportunities, etc.?
>
I suppose that you mean "would NOT pick up if able to earn as much". I
don't know, but frankly I suspect that prostitution is not fun, even
if you like the sex part. It is very much an acting job.
> Still another question: How common is it for women to pay for sex?
>
Very uncommon. Statistics on prostitution are available in some
countries and show that prostitutes catering for the female market
(gigolos) are in very small numbers compared to the ones catering to
the male market (heterosexual and homosexual).
Kat
> Sex with multiple partners seems to be easier for women than men, but is
> it pleasurable? Gangbangs are common in porn. How common is it for
> women, outside of commercial porn or prostitution, to enjoy and to
> initiate multiple partners, simultaneously or in tandem?
I don't think it's very common unless you count a threesome, in which
case it's a very common fantasy, although I can't really tell you how
many people act upon that fantasy. As far as a larger group, it's
something I have been known to enjoy from time to time, and I'm
betting I'm not alone in this newsgroup. I've tried both
simultaneously and in tandem, they're very different sexual
experiences and I wouldn't really compare one to the other.
> Another question: Prostitution is usually depicted, in main stream
> media, as a profession that no woman would pick if able to earn as much
> otherwise. Is this always true?
> Do any women pick prostitution as they
> would any other occupation -- by talent or ability, liking of the work,
> earning potential, employment opportunities, etc.?
I've gotten to know a couple that did very much enjoy what they do,
whether it was the earning potential or enjoying the work
specifically, I can't tell you, but I would guess both. To me, this
is generally more of an escort, but that might be just my
interpretation.
> Still another question: How common is it for women to pay for sex?
I've certainly paid for sex, although not in cash, but oh have I paid,
but that's probably not quite what you meant, is it?
There is apparently a bit of a trend of older women traveling
internationally and finding a hot young guy to keep her amused for the
duration.
> I apologize if these questions seem old hat, but I have puzzled over
> them all my life, and I am now an old man.
What better time to learn something new?
Kat
> On 2008-10-24, gilleebee <as...@nospam.com> wrote:
>
>
>
What with the sex trade being illegal in much of the modern world you
run into cases where the guys may well become violent if she says no,
and she can't really go to the police either.
Pilcrow
toramjero
> On Oct 21, 12:26 pm, Pilcrow <pilcr...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > Sex with multiple partners seems to be easier for women than men, but is
> > it pleasurable? Gangbangs are common in porn. How common is it for
> > women, outside of commercial porn or prostitution, to enjoy and to
> > initiate multiple partners, simultaneously or in tandem?
>
> I don't think it's very common unless you count a threesome, in which
> case it's a very common fantasy, although I can't really tell you how
> many people act upon that fantasy.
If it were very common, how would they find the second man? I mean: if
it were very common, say millions of couples, those couples would need
millions of men to act on their fantasy. Yet sex personals seem
characterized by the fact that only a handful of single men are able
to find a partner.
I agree that a threesome is a relatively common female fantasy. The
psychologist Nancy Friday has written books on the subject of female
fantasies and this one seem to be rather prevalent.
darklily
> On Oct 24, 8:19 am, Kat <ki...@gothkat.com> wrote:
>
> > On Oct 21, 12:26 pm, Pilcrow <pilcr...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > Sex with multiple partners seems to be easier for women than men, but is
> > > it pleasurable? Gangbangs are common in porn. How common is it for
> > > women, outside of commercial porn or prostitution, to enjoy and to
> > > initiate multiple partners, simultaneously or in tandem?
>
> > I don't think it's very common unless you count a threesome, in which
> > case it's a very common fantasy, although I can't really tell you how
> > many people act upon that fantasy.
>
> If it were very common, how would they find the second man? I mean: if
> it were very common, say millions of couples, those couples would need
> millions of men to act on their fantasy. Yet sex personals seem
> characterized by the fact that only a handful of single men are able
> to find a partner.
>
Or one guy millions of times. : )
Darklily (joking, sorry I couldn't help myself)
Tom Allen
So that's why Norton is so tired all the time!
--
Tom Allen
http://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/
"I don't have multiple orgasms, myself. I am, however, known to be a
carrier."
toramjero
No. They need to find more guys. That guy you are talking about died
from exhaustion a long time ago.
(in jest... ;) )
Kat
> On Oct 24, 8:19 am, Kat <ki...@gothkat.com> wrote:
>
> > On Oct 21, 12:26 pm, Pilcrow <pilcr...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > Sex with multiple partners seems to be easier for women than men, but is
> > > it pleasurable? Gangbangs are common in porn. How common is it for
> > > women, outside of commercial porn or prostitution, to enjoy and to
> > > initiate multiple partners, simultaneously or in tandem?
>
> > I don't think it's very common unless you count a threesome, in which
> > case it's a very common fantasy, although I can't really tell you how
> > many people act upon that fantasy.
>
> If it were very common, how would they find the second man? I mean: if
> it were very common, say millions of couples, those couples would need
> millions of men to act on their fantasy. Yet sex personals seem
> characterized by the fact that only a handful of single men are able
> to find a partner.
If a single man were to find a couple willing to try a one time thing,
would he disappear from a singles site or keep looking? Even if he
turned into the couple's regular booty call, he might still continue
looking for a woman to call his own not ever disappearing from the
site until he found a committed relationship and then only if he
wasn't able to swing or play or cheat.
How to find the guy you ask. A singles site, a bar or club, coworker,
or mutual friend all offer plenty of opportunity if you spend a bit of
time looking.
There are couples on Craigslist looking for a third to join them and
there are also guys and girls looking for a couple, I have to assume
at least a few people there are getting laid or it would dry up.
I recently tried Craigslist myself for the first time a few months
ago, my first time prowling online, with fairly reasonable success,
but I'm not looking for Mr Right, just Mr R. Now. The biggest problem
I've had is that guys who were clear they only wanted friends with
benefits or even just the benefits start to get clingy.
Incidentally, I found this group looking for a Craigslist alternative.
> I agree that a threesome is a relatively common female fantasy. The
> psychologist Nancy Friday has written books on the subject of female
> fantasies and this one seem to be rather prevalent.
The problem with fantasies is that even if everything you fantasized
about happens exactly as you planned, the feeling that you imagined or
anticipated still might not be there.
Of my friends who have tried a threesome, the problem usually seems to
be that the guy gets jealous and accuses his wife of spending more
time with the new guy, or liking him better or whatever. He might be
right too, even if butterscotch is your favorite flavor and you
wouldn't give it up for all the chocolate in the world, if you have it
every day you might just savor chocolate a little longer if it's your
first in months.
A few of my friends have tried threesomes with another guy, most don't
try again, but those that do really love it. I'm rather partial to
them, but I am usually the third so my viewpoint might be a little
different.
toramjero
There aren't millions of members on craigslist, are there? I am not
disputing that *thousands* of couples practice threesomes, I am
disputing that *millions* of couples do. Thousands of couples is not
prevalent on the general population, it takes at least a few millions
to make it common.
Dave
<4fbd1f13-c577-46c1...@y79g2000hsa.googlegroups.com>
toramjero <tora...@googlemail.com> was claimed to have wrote:
>There aren't millions of members on craigslist, are there? I am not
>disputing that *thousands* of couples practice threesomes, I am
>disputing that *millions* of couples do. Thousands of couples is not
>prevalent on the general population, it takes at least a few millions
>to make it common.
A full 75% of the people who's pants I've gotten off have had a
threesome before. I don't confuse my own experience with the general
populous, but at least in my world, it's not uncommon. I've discussed
this with a few of them and Kat's "the guy gets jealous and accuses his
wife of spending more time with the new guy" is very true as well.
Despite the fact that I have an open relationship and my girlfriend
would undoubtedly be willing; I have not participated in one nor am I
particularly interested in that scenario myself.
Irfon-Kim Ahmad
> On Oct 24, 8:19 am, Kat <ki...@gothkat.com> wrote:
>> On Oct 21, 12:26 pm, Pilcrow <pilcr...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> > Sex with multiple partners seems to be easier for women than men, but is
>> > it pleasurable? Gangbangs are common in porn. How common is it for
>> > women, outside of commercial porn or prostitution, to enjoy and to
>> > initiate multiple partners, simultaneously or in tandem?
>>
>> I don't think it's very common unless you count a threesome, in which
>> case it's a very common fantasy, although I can't really tell you how
>> many people act upon that fantasy.
>
> If it were very common, how would they find the second man? I mean: if
> it were very common, say millions of couples, those couples would need
> millions of men to act on their fantasy. Yet sex personals seem
> characterized by the fact that only a handful of single men are able
> to find a partner.
It may be that they are generally able to find them through regular
social connections rather than having to resort to personals. In my
discussions with people, though, I would say that threesomes involving
two women and a man are more common than threesomes involving two men
and a woman. (I have no idea how common threesomes involving three men
or threesomes involving three women are.) I suspect that this is partly
because there are a lot more stigmas against homosexual sex amongst men
than amongst women.
Norton
My gosh, you are older than NORTON!!! But not by much.
By the way, I've not seen "pilcrow" used as a name before.
Neat!
--
--- Norton
Norton
>On Oct 24, 8:19 am, Kat <ki...@gothkat.com> wrote:
>> On Oct 21, 12:26 pm, Pilcrow <pilcr...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> > Sex with multiple partners seems to be easier for women than men, but is
>> > it pleasurable? Gangbangs are common in porn. How common is it for
>> > women, outside of commercial porn or prostitution, to enjoy and to
>> > initiate multiple partners, simultaneously or in tandem?
>>
>> I don't think it's very common unless you count a threesome, in which
>> case it's a very common fantasy, although I can't really tell you how
>> many people act upon that fantasy.
>If it were very common, how would they find the second man? I mean: if
>it were very common, say millions of couples, those couples would need
>millions of men to act on their fantasy. Yet sex personals seem
>characterized by the fact that only a handful of single men are able
>to find a partner.
>I agree that a threesome is a relatively common female fantasy. The
>psychologist Nancy Friday has written books on the subject of female
>fantasies and this one seem to be rather prevalent.
It is a common fantasy among (young) men too.
--
--- Norton
Norton
>darklily wrote:
>> On Oct 24, 6:33 am, toramjero <toramj...@googlemail.com> wrote:
>>> If it were very common, how would they find the second man? I mean: if
>>> it were very common, say millions of couples, those couples would need
>>> millions of men to act on their fantasy. Yet sex personals seem
>>> characterized by the fact that only a handful of single men are able
>>> to find a partner.
>>>
>>
>> Or one guy millions of times. : )
>So that's why Norton is so tired all the time!
I wish. It ain't the desire that's lacking. But one
woman at a time is enough for me. I've decided to
go for quality of experience rather than quantity...
:-)
--
--- Norton
Norton
>If a single man were to find a couple willing to try a one time thing,
>would he disappear from a singles site or keep looking? Even if he
>turned into the couple's regular booty call, he might still continue
>looking for a woman to call his own not ever disappearing from the
>site until he found a committed relationship and then only if he
>wasn't able to swing or play or cheat.
Hard to tell.
>How to find the guy you ask. A singles site, a bar or club, coworker,
>or mutual friend all offer plenty of opportunity if you spend a bit of
>time looking.
If one keeps an open mind and a smile on one's face, all sorts
of good things can happen.
>There are couples on Craigslist looking for a third to join them and
>there are also guys and girls looking for a couple, I have to assume
>at least a few people there are getting laid or it would dry up.
I agree.
>I recently tried Craigslist myself for the first time a few months
>ago, my first time prowling online, with fairly reasonable success,
>but I'm not looking for Mr Right, just Mr R. Now. The biggest problem
>I've had is that guys who were clear they only wanted friends with
>benefits or even just the benefits start to get clingy.
That's an interesting observation. I've found that it is impossible
for me to have sex with someone without in the end having some
emotional feeling for them. No, I don't mean a total attachment,
but the sort of thing one feels for someone with whom you have
shared an emotional moment.
>Incidentally, I found this group looking for a Craigslist alternative.
SSG is on Craigslist? Who knew?
>> I agree that a threesome is a relatively common female fantasy. The
>> psychologist Nancy Friday has written books on the subject of female
>> fantasies and this one seem to be rather prevalent.
>The problem with fantasies is that even if everything you fantasized
>about happens exactly as you planned, the feeling that you imagined or
>anticipated still might not be there.
Yup.
>Of my friends who have tried a threesome, the problem usually seems to
>be that the guy gets jealous and accuses his wife of spending more
>time with the new guy, or liking him better or whatever. He might be
>right too, even if butterscotch is your favorite flavor and you
>wouldn't give it up for all the chocolate in the world, if you have it
>every day you might just savor chocolate a little longer if it's your
>first in months.
Yeah, many guys are strange that way. I've been a guy all my life
and haven't figured that out. I think that guys fantasize over
being with two women, so there's no guy to be jealous of.
>A few of my friends have tried threesomes with another guy, most don't
>try again, but those that do really love it. I'm rather partial to
>them, but I am usually the third so my viewpoint might be a little
>different.
I can see that.
--
--- Norton
Kat
> It may be that they are generally able to find them through regular
> social connections rather than having to resort to personals. In my
> discussions with people, though, I would say that threesomes involving
> two women and a man are more common than threesomes involving two men
> and a woman. (I have no idea how common threesomes involving three men
> or threesomes involving three women are.) I suspect that this is partly
> because there are a lot more stigmas against homosexual sex amongst men
> than amongst women.
I was trying to make that same point earlier, at best we're counting
the number people who look for sex online and I suspect that it's a
relatively small part of the threesome world. Myself as an example,
using craigslist is very new to me and I'm still not sure it is worth
the hassle.
Whether two women or two men is more common I can't really say. All I
can tell you is that I've done both and don't usually have too much
trouble finding a second guy when I am in the mood. There might be
more homophobia but it is balanced because it's easier to find guys
looking for a one time thing.
-Elizabeth-
>
> I agree that a threesome is a relatively common female fantasy. The
> psychologist Nancy Friday has written books on the subject of female
> fantasies and this one seem to be rather prevalent.
I only have a threesome fantasy involving two men and me. I've tried
threesomes with another woman plus a man and frankly didn't find it
interesting at all. The threesome idea involving two women and man is
- in my, albeit limited, experience a male fantasy, not a female one.
The tiny bit of experience I've had with threesomes involving two men
has been fantastic.
The men I've met wanting a threesome have imagined watching two women
hard at it. But, you see, I don't have a sexual interest in other
women. It comes as a surprise to those who think that because I like
sex and have been to swingers parties, I like sex in any form and with
anybody. It's not so. If anything, I am even more selective than I was
before experimenting with sex at parties.
To the idea that it's easier for women to pick up men for sex, well,
not in my experience. The only place it is easy is at swingers clubs.
I've never actually picked up anybody outside clubs for the sole
purpose of sex. The relationships I've had have developed through
friendship, with sex coming later.
What do you other women think about this?
gilleebee
"-Elizabeth-" <erate...@yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:1d1931fd-a6ac-45cc...@n33g2000pri.googlegroups.com...
My fantasies have always been about me with another woman and another man,
or me with 2 or more women.
I have always found going out drinking could result in casual sex quite
easily.
gilleebee
Denny Wheeler
<tora...@googlemail.com> wrote:
>On Oct 24, 10:11 pm, Kat <ki...@gothkat.com> wrote:
>>
(adding *** to "light up" the part that I'm emphasizing here)
>> > > I don't think it's very common unless you count a threesome, in which
>> > > case it's a ***very common fantasy***, although I can't really tell you how
>> > > many people act upon that fantasy.
>There aren't millions of members on craigslist, are there? I am not
>disputing that *thousands* of couples practice threesomes, I am
>disputing that *millions* of couples do. Thousands of couples is not
>prevalent on the general population, it takes at least a few millions
>to make it common.
Um. Is there some reason you don't grasp "very common fantasy"? That
ain't the same as "very common event."
--
"Every single religion that has a monotheistic god
winds up persecuting someone else."
-Philip Pullman
-denny-
(not as curmudgeonly as I useta be)
Norton
I'm not a woman, at least I wasn't last time I checked.
The fantasy part is interesting. In my humble opinion,
two men and one women might make the best threesome since
I think that the average woman can tire out one man, leaving
him exhausted (and probably asleep) and her not fully
satisfied.
But most men seem to feel that would be an insult to their
manhood. Sure. I'd love to find out how many times one
man has been able to satisfy two women at the same event.
(Men under 20 don't count... ;-)
--
--- Norton
Serene Vannoy
> Sex with multiple partners seems to be easier for women than men
How so?
>, but is
> it pleasurable? Gangbangs are common in porn. How common is it for
> women, outside of commercial porn or prostitution, to enjoy and to
> initiate multiple partners, simultaneously or in tandem?
I've had several (four? five?) multiple-partner relationships where we
all shared one bed. It was nice, but not nicer than two-to-a-bed, in my
opinion. I had a female partner once who LOVED gang-bangs involving her
and several men, and she actually arranged a few of them on Craigslist
and had a blast.
> Another question: Prostitution is usually depicted, in main stream
> media, as a profession that no woman would pick if able to earn as much
> otherwise. Is this always true?
Of course not. Nothing's always true.
Serene
--
"I am an agnostic only to the extent that I am agnostic about fairies at
the bottom of the garden." -- Richard Dawkins
toramjero
> >On Oct 24, 10:11 pm, Kat <ki...@gothkat.com> wrote:
>
> (adding *** to "light up" the part that I'm emphasizing here)
>
> >> > > I don't think it's very common unless you count a threesome, in which
> >> > > case it's a ***very common fantasy***, although I can't really tell you how
> >> > > many people act upon that fantasy.
> >There aren't millions of members on craigslist, are there? I am not
> >disputing that *thousands* of couples practice threesomes, I am
> >disputing that *millions* of couples do. Thousands of couples is not
> >prevalent on the general population, it takes at least a few millions
> >to make it common.
>
> Um. Is there some reason you don't grasp "very common fantasy"? That
> ain't the same as "very common event."
>
Um. Is there some reason that you missed my earlier posts. Broken
threading maybe? I'll include the most relevant here for your
convenience.
-----begin quote-----
If it were very common, how would they find the second man? I mean: if
it were very common, say millions of couples, those couples would need
millions of men to act on their fantasy. Yet sex personals seem
characterized by the fact that only a handful of single men are able
to find a partner.
I agree that a threesome is a relatively common female fantasy. The
psychologist Nancy Friday has written books on the subject of female
fantasies and this one seem to be rather prevalent.
> --
-Elizabeth-
Yes, but what kind of threesome. That's what I want to know. What kind
of threesome is supposedly a common female fantasy?
toramjero
The one with two men, of course.
darklily
Well, I might be able to give out some personal research on this after
next weekend. ; )
Only reason I can't now is because I wasn't fully up to it this past
weekend ( I had my period). As it was we started around midnight on
Friday. I fell asleep at 4AM. The DH and his new girlfriend called it
quits around 5AM, as she needed to get home for something. Heh...he
said he could have gone another hour. He had a terrible time getting
to sleep Saturday morning.
The DH will be 40 next Feb. : )
Now I just have to get my (new) sweetie back up this way. It's a LDR
and he hasn't made it back up here, though I've visited him once.
Looks like I'll get to compare MFF and MMF. ; )
Darklily....who on the flip side of all this fun has to report that
she is tentatively meeting the ex-sweetie sometime this week for
coffee. I have 3 scenarios in my head and have no real idea what I'm
going to say. There are some big differences between the (majority of
the) relationships above and the one with the ex. That sticky thing
called love.
Irfon-Kim Ahmad
> I'm not a woman, at least I wasn't last time I checked.
>
> The fantasy part is interesting. In my humble opinion,
> two men and one women might make the best threesome since
> I think that the average woman can tire out one man, leaving
> him exhausted (and probably asleep) and her not fully
> satisfied.
I've not generally found that to be the case. Perhaps your style of
sexual interaction is a lot more physically demanding than mine, but
usually I find that we're both satisfied and neither of us is wiped out
or wants to throw in the towel. Naps are sometimes taken after because
they're nice, but it's more likely the female partner taking the nap in
my experiences. I don't attribute this to gendering the issue, though
-- since I'm male, in female/male scenarios I'm the male, and I don't
like taking naps. *shrug*
> But most men seem to feel that would be an insult to their
> manhood. Sure. I'd love to find out how many times one
> man has been able to satisfy two women at the same event.
> (Men under 20 don't count... ;-)
I've only had a few threesomes, but they have thus far all been two
women and one man and nobody went away unsatisfied.