Poll: How old were you when you lost your virginity
Carlo Tambuatco
virginity while in high school, college, or afterwards...And if you like,
you can also post your reason/the circumstances that you first lost it. I
don't want this thread to feel like an old lady's sewing circle or anything,
I am only curious.
As for me, sorry to say, it wasn't until after my 22nd birthday that I
popped my cherry, so to speak. And for those of you who still have
abstained, what are you doing on this board? :)
Michael Jørgensen
"Carlo Tambuatco" <oracl...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:BF00E684.840%oracl...@gmail.com...
> As for me, sorry to say, it wasn't until after my 22nd birthday that I
> popped my cherry, so to speak.
How do you feel about that, i.e. the fact that you were 22 when it happened?
Would you have liked it to be earlier? Or would you have liked to wait some
more?
Under what circumstances did it happen? Was it something you were
deliberately aiming for, or something that just happened spontaneously?
For my part, it happened slightly before my 22nd birthday. I would have
liked it to be earlier, because I have this nagging fealing now, that I've
missed out on something.
Anyway, this girl had a serious crush on me (I was clueless about it), and
she took the lead all the way, so to speak. BTW, two years later we married,
and we're still together...
-Michael.
Elizabeth
I was 21 when I first had sex. I was playing in an orchestra doing
country trips and, after a concert and a good meal with wine, my fellow
cellist friend and I got cosy and ended up having lovely sex.
dreas
"Elizabeth" <eli_...@yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:1121691630.3...@g49g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
I was 19 and hadn't quite figured out how to do things the first time.
My parents were in the next room watching TV so it was exciting...
-'dreas
JustGB
I was always told to stay a virgin till I married. It was a long time
ago and I bought into the party line! What I wasn't told was how hard
it would be to keep my pants on. So, at 17 I fell in love, got
engaged, and figured it was ok if I cut corners a little as long as
nobody found out. So, 17. My mother *still* doesn't know I'd been at
it for a year and a half before the white wedding.
JustGB <never dreaming that nearly 40 years later I'd announce it to
the world via usenet!>
serene
> I am just wondering if anyone here (if the majority of you) lost your
> virginity while in high school, college, or afterwards...
Way afterwards. I was 15 when I graduated high school, 18 when I
finished college the first time, and 25 when I lost my virginity.
serene
Jana
I had just turned 18. I was in the 11th grade at the time.
Jana
Remus Shepherd
> I am just wondering if anyone here (if the majority of you) lost your
> virginity while in high school, college, or afterwards...And if you like,
> you can also post your reason/the circumstances that you first lost it. I
> don't want this thread to feel like an old lady's sewing circle or anything,
> I am only curious.
To a dog: 13.
To a woman: 19.
To a man: 27.
... ...
Remus Shepherd <re...@panix.com>
Carlo Tambuatco
42db9f9e$0$39751$edfa...@dread12.news.tele.dk, "Michael Jørgensen"
<ccc5...@vip.cybercity.dk> wrote:
I feel way cheated about waiting so long. It's as if it had been built up
too much by that point. The anticipation for it had almost vanished. When I
was 15 or so it was still new enough to elicit an arousing feeling. But even
though I hadn't had sex until 22 I didn't feel like a virgin anymore.
Probably chalk that up to the internet and sex groups like this one. But if
I had done it at, say, 16 or 17, I would have had the full deflowering
experience that everyone wanted. So, yea I do wish I had done it earlier.
-Carlo
~consul
Occasional oral sex with my late fiance, at 16. PIV, 22. I think. 1996.
--
"... respect, all good works are not done by only good folk. For within these Trials, we
shall do what needs to be done."
--till next time, Jameson Stalanthas Yu -x- <<poetry.dolphins-cove.com>>
Ruben Schoenefeld
Hash: SHA1
Today gte...@c-24-30-38-142.hsd1.ga.comcast.net wrote in group...:
> I am just wondering if anyone here (if the majority of you) lost your
> virginity while in high school, college, or afterwards...And if you like,
> you can also post your reason/the circumstances that you first lost it. I
> don't want this thread to feel like an old lady's sewing circle or anything,
> I am only curious.
Took my till December 16th, 1999 ... 14 days after my 21st birthday. Took
me that long because I had to fly 7000 or so miles from Germany to Utah to
meet my now-soon-to-be wife.
> As for me, sorry to say, it wasn't until after my 22nd birthday that I
> popped my cherry, so to speak. And for those of you who still have
> abstained, what are you doing on this board? :)
>
Bye for now,
Ruben
- --
Ruben Schoenefeld, ICQ 1-971-310, http://support.uni-oldenburg.de/~ruben/
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David Stites
13 and I am glad I didn'twait.
David
~consul
> I was always told to stay a virgin till I married. It was a long time
> ago and I bought into the party line! What I wasn't told was how hard
> it would be to keep my pants on. So, at 17 I fell in love, got
> engaged, and figured it was ok if I cut corners a little as long as
> nobody found out. So, 17. My mother *still* doesn't know I'd been at
> it for a year and a half before the white wedding.
>
> JustGB <never dreaming that nearly 40 years later I'd announce it to
> the world via usenet!>
Does she know about google keywords? :)
Carlo Tambuatco
1gzvzv9.1s18ksd1j5i7iwN%ser...@serenepages.org, "serene"
<ser...@serenepages.org> wrote:
Why the long delay, if you don't mind me asking?
-C
~consul
> 1gzvzv9.1s18ksd1j5i7iwN%ser...@serenepages.org, "serene"
>>Way afterwards. I was 15 when I graduated high school, 18 when I
>>finished college the first time, and 25 when I lost my virginity.
Sounds like she as way too busy with school for it.
serene
In high school, no one showed any interest (I was fat, geeky, and too
young for most of my peers). After high school, I became an evangelical
christian. After I stopped being an evangelical christian, it wasn't
long before I went out looking for sex. ;-)
serene
Tom Allen
> Carlo Tambuatco <oracl...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>>On 7/18/05 11:39 AM, in article
>>1gzvzv9.1s18ksd1j5i7iwN%ser...@serenepages.org, "serene"
>><ser...@serenepages.org> wrote:
>>
>>
>>>Carlo Tambuatco <oracl...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>I am just wondering if anyone here (if the majority of you) lost your
>>>>virginity while in high school, college, or afterwards...
>>>
>>>Way afterwards. I was 15 when I graduated high school, 18 when I
>>>finished college the first time, and 25 when I lost my virginity.
>>>
>>>serene
>>>
>>
>>Why the long delay, if you don't mind me asking?
>
>
> In high school, no one showed any interest (I was fat, geeky, and too
> young for most of my peers). After high school, I became an evangelical
> christian. After I stopped being an evangelical christian, it wasn't
> long before I went out looking for sex. ;-)
And now your IQ is dropping, right? Right? See? Too much posting makes
you have too little time for sex which makes you smarter.
Tom (wishing he were just a little dumber at the mo')
serene
> serene wrote:
> >
> > In high school, no one showed any interest (I was fat, geeky, and too
> > young for most of my peers). After high school, I became an evangelical
> > christian. After I stopped being an evangelical christian, it wasn't
> > long before I went out looking for sex. ;-)
>
> And now your IQ is dropping, right? Right? See? Too much posting makes
> you have too little time for sex which makes you smarter.
Exactly!
> Tom (wishing he were just a little dumber at the mo')
C'mere. :-)
serene
Tom Allen
Show-off!
Tom
Sagittaria
> I am just wondering if anyone here (if the majority of you) lost
> your virginity while in high school, college, or afterwards...And
> if you like, you can also post your reason/the circumstances that
> you first lost it. I don't want this thread to feel like an old
> lady's sewing circle or anything, I am only curious.
14, with a high school boyfriend.
--
---->Sagittaria<----
"You know, I wanted Bobby to become the kind of kid who did stuff after
school, but the stuff after school is just becoming more like Bobby."
-Hank Hill
Oseris
"Carlo Tambuatco" <oracl...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:BF00E684.840%oracl...@gmail.com...
I still am one...
Probably for the rest of my life as well... Y_Y
Sarah
>Lucky creep. How do some men do that?
Dear jgrace.
I have no idea to which Lucky Creep you are referring. neither do I
know what "that" you mean.
Please, quote the relevant parts of the post to which you are
replying, and leave in the attributions.
Thank you.
--
Sarah
(Mushroom! Mushroom!)
JustGB
~consul wrote:
> JustGB wrote:
> > I was always told to stay a virgin till I married. It was a long time
> > ago and I bought into the party line! What I wasn't told was how hard
> > it would be to keep my pants on. So, at 17 I fell in love, got
> > engaged, and figured it was ok if I cut corners a little as long as
> > nobody found out. So, 17. My mother *still* doesn't know I'd been at
> > it for a year and a half before the white wedding.
> >
> > JustGB <never dreaming that nearly 40 years later I'd announce it to
> > the world via usenet!>
>
> Does she know about google keywords? :)
*NO*!! And don't you go telling her, either!
JustGB
suzee
> Lucky creep. How do some men do that?
Which men do what? I don't know who you're replying to.
sue
JustGB
Norm wrote:
>
> Ignoring adolescent fooling around? I was 20, a prostitute in Havana,
> yes, Cuba after Castro took over. Americans weren't supposed to travel
> there but we booked on Cubana Air DC-3 via a Canadian travel agent. Six
> months later it was a semi-regular thing with an older married woman ...
> Coo coo ca-choo! Norm (do I get points?)
>
For being a 20 year old prostitute in Havana, you not only get maximum
points, you get a double bonus!
JutsGB
dig under rocks
"Carlo Tambuatco" <oracl...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:BF00E684.840%oracl...@gmail.com...
|I am just wondering if anyone here (if the majority of you) lost your
| virginity while in high school, college, or afterwards...And if you like,
| you can also post your reason/the circumstances that you first lost it. I
| don't want this thread to feel like an old lady's sewing circle or
anything,
| I am only curious.
June 8th, 1996. 17 years of age. One week after high school graduation.
Drunkened beach sex topped off with a literal assload of mosquito bites.
Had I had my way I would have lost is MUCH sooner. I was ready to by around
age nine.
Horatio Sanz
sex has become very empty and mechanical.
Delila
"suzee" <suz...@imbris.com> wrote in message
news:42dcfce0$0$1417$892e...@authen.white.readfreenews.net...
> jgr...@hotmail.com wrote:
>> Lucky creep. How do some men do that?
>
> Which men do what? I don't know who you're replying to.
I know he was replying to the guy who said he was 13 when he lost his
virginity.
D.
suzee
Alright, thanks. It's a good thing to have comments in context.
sue
ChrisB
> I am just wondering if anyone here (if the majority of you) lost your
> virginity while in high school, college, or afterwards...And if you like,
> you can also post your reason/the circumstances that you first lost it. I
> don't want this thread to feel like an old lady's sewing circle or anything,
> I am only curious.
>
> popped my cherry, so to speak. And for those of you who still have
> abstained, what are you doing on this board? :)
>
>
I was 34 when I lost my virginity. I'd never met one before that I was
interested in sex with. I didn't have much sexual drive before. Of
course, once I was in a relationship my sex drive went up.
So, I guess I lost my virginity after and before college. I've been
between semesters a couple of times on my never-ending quest for a PHD.
Got my associate's in 99, working on my bachelor's. I'm back in
school this fall after being between semesters for a few years.
WHOO-HOO! for back in school. whaaa! for going back to Physics II. At
least hubby, the computer geek and ex-almost-aerospace engineer can be
my live-in tutor.
Jack C Lipton
(shakes head)
It sometimes seems a miracle that I didn't manage to kill
myself before that point. Well, apathy works, don't it?
--
Jack C Lipton | cupasoup at pele dot cx | http://www.asstr.org/~CupaSoup/
Those people most incapable (or unwilling) to see themselves as being
sent to Hell are those most likely to become permanent residents. - me
serene
> I was a late starter: I was a month shy of my 25th birthday.
>
I had already turned 25, so I win. ;-)
serene
Jack C Lipton
> Jack C Lipton wrote:
>> I was a late starter: I was a month shy of my 25th birthday.
>
> I had already turned 25, so I win. ;-)
Ahhh, but this was back in 1979... I think. (smirks)
I've been thinking that the world might make more sense to
me if I had my libido turned off chemically...
serene
> serene wrote:
> > Jack C Lipton wrote:
> >> I was a late starter: I was a month shy of my 25th birthday.
> >
> > I had already turned 25, so I win. ;-)
>
> Ahhh, but this was back in 1979... I think. (smirks)
>
> I've been thinking that the world might make more sense to
> me if I had my libido turned off chemically...
They can do that surgically. ;-)
What if you just met someone whose libido matched yours? I found that
really improved my life.
serene
Jack C Lipton
> What if you just met someone whose libido matched yours?
> I found that really improved my life.
The probability of finding someone w/ a matching level
of libido seems pretty low, actually, and then there's
the worry that most of *my* current levels may just be
a case of backflow.
(sighs)
serene
> serene wrote:
> > What if you just met someone whose libido matched yours?
> > I found that really improved my life.
>
> The probability of finding someone w/ a matching level
> of libido seems pretty low, actually, and then there's
> the worry that most of *my* current levels may just be
> a case of backflow.
>
> (sighs)
Well, then I will just wish you a person who is enough compatible with
you on emotional and sexual levels that you will find happiness. (Even
if that person ends up being you for a while.)
serene
illecebra
> I am just wondering if anyone here (if the majority of you) lost your
> virginity while in high school, college, or afterwards...And if you like,
> you can also post your reason/the circumstances that you first lost it. I
> don't want this thread to feel like an old lady's sewing circle or anything,
> I am only curious.
>
> As for me, sorry to say, it wasn't until after my 22nd birthday that I
> popped my cherry, so to speak. And for those of you who still have
> abstained, what are you doing on this board? :)
It was a few days either before or after my eighteenth birthday. (Hey,
that was a crazy couple of weeks!) If you're interested in the whole
story, search this group's archives, I've told it a few times. The
short version is that I wanted to lose my virginity to someone I knew I
couldn't love, because I was afraid of confusing lust and love as many
of my friends and acquaintances had. I have no regrets. :)
illecebra
JustGB
Horatio Sanz wrote:
> 15 in Brazil, to a 21 year old femme fatale. Wish I'd waited though,
> sex has become very empty and mechanical.
Sounds to me like you haven't found someone to love as well as to bang.
Try finding someone you really like as a person and the sex with her
will be different.
JustGB
Remus Shepherd
> Remus Shepherd wrote:
> >>I am just wondering if anyone here (if the majority of you) lost your
> >>virginity while in high school, college, or afterwards...And if you like,
> >>you can also post your reason/the circumstances that you first lost it. I
> >>don't want this thread to feel like an old lady's sewing circle or anything,
> >>I am only curious.
> >
> > To a dog: 13.
> > To a woman: 19.
> > To a man: 27.
> Show-off!
Hey, I was trying to be as clinical as possible. If I were showing off,
I'd list horses, sheep, and llamas. :)
... ...
Remus Shepherd <re...@panix.com>
Nagi
seduced by my maths teacher who was about thirty and married.It all
happened with my full consent.
Delila
"Nagi" <nag...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1121951733.3...@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> It happened here in India.I was thirteen and in school.And I was
> seduced by my maths teacher who was about thirty and married.It all
> happened with my full consent.
See? And they say that female teachers only sleep with their 13-year-old
students here in the US. :)
D.
JustGB
Naw, they only put them in jail for 7 years for doing it in the US..
;)
JustGB
suzee
Or that the teacher seduces them...
sue
w1lma
JustGB
Well, there are mitigating circumstances in her case. The article even
says so!
JustGB <shaking her head at what the inventiveness (or desperation) of
defense lawyers can conjure up>
Norton
illecebra
Tom Allen
Hey, it'd work for me if I were on the jury! :-)
Unfortunately, it wouldn't work for me if I were in her position. :-(
Tom
--
Q - Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
A - To get to the other... uh ... er ...
christina
<oracl...@gmail.com> wrote:
>I am just wondering if anyone here (if the majority of you) lost your
>virginity while in high school, college, or afterwards...And if you like,
>you can also post your reason/the circumstances that you first lost it. I
>don't want this thread to feel like an old lady's sewing circle or anything,
>I am only curious.
>
>As for me, sorry to say, it wasn't until after my 22nd birthday that I
>popped my cherry, so to speak. And for those of you who still have
>abstained, what are you doing on this board? :)
>
21 the first time, 53 the second. The second time was way too late.
christina
David Stites
> virginity while in high school, college, or afterwards...And if you like,
> you can also post your reason/the circumstances that you first lost it. I
> don't want this thread to feel like an old lady's sewing circle or
> anything,
> I am only curious.
>
> As for me, sorry to say, it wasn't until after my 22nd birthday that I
> popped my cherry, so to speak. And for those of you who still have
> abstained, what are you doing on this board? :)
>
>
am not wanted here.
David
Tom Allen
Posts to Usenet groups don't get "deleted" - barring the few servers
that acknowledge a "Cancel" message which can only originate from the
original poster.
This is a moderated group, so if you haven't posted at all, or post only
rarely it takes time for your messages to show up. Some, in fact, may
not show up at all. It's not because somebody doesn't want them, it's
just a factor of the process.
This group is moderated to keep off the hordes of sex and porno spam,
not to mention some of the more obvious trolls and cross-posts. Don't
take it personally, just send a few more and eventually you should have
no trouble.
suzee
> "Carlo Tambuatco" <oracl...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>As for me, sorry to say, it wasn't until after my 22nd birthday that I
>>popped my cherry, so to speak. And for those of you who still have
>>abstained, what are you doing on this board? :)
>>
>>
>
> I said once I was thirteen. I see now that post has been deleted. I guess I
> am not wanted here.
Newsgroup posts don't get deleted. But they can get lost in transit.
This one made it through, so try it again. Also, some newshosts have a
problem with sending to moderated groups.
sue
suzee
> David Stites wrote:
>>I said once I was thirteen. I see now that post has been deleted. I guess I
>>am not wanted here.
>
>
> Newsgroup posts don't get deleted. But they can get lost in transit.
> This one made it through, so try it again. Also, some newshosts have a
> problem with sending to moderated groups.
I take that back. You post *did* make it through; look at Google
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/soc.sexuality.general/tree/browse_frm/thread/4fbb12052a5bdf82/e60883d841b25d80?rnum=31&hl=en&q=group:soc.sexuality.general+insubject:%22lost+your+virginity%22&_done=%2Fgroup%2Fsoc.sexuality.general%2Fbrowse_frm%2Fthread%2F4fbb12052a5bdf82%2Ffd4c461a3a8ad58f%3Flnk%3Dst%26q%3Dgroup:soc.sexuality.general+insubject:%22lost+your+virginity%22%26rnum%3D1%26hl%3Den%26#doc_2de248c12cc50602
The problem was your newshost. Many of them don't keep posts on very
long, some a few hours, some only a few days. And some of them don't
pick up all posts. Apparently yours was one that got missed.
sue
Delila
> The problem was your newshost. Many of them don't keep posts on very
> long, some a few hours, some only a few days. And some of them don't
> pick up all posts. Apparently yours was one that got missed.
I saw it; I even commented about it.
D.
suzee
After I looked it up on Google, I realized I'd seen it too.
sue
Carlo Tambuatco
42e2fdb0$0$36265$892e...@authen.white.readfreenews.net, "suzee"
<suz...@imbris.com> wrote:
Amazing how far off topic these things get after a while...
suzee
That's usenet for you!
sue
Agki Strodon
a university in another town. There were twenty of us from all over the
state - evenly divided male and female. I had a room just off-campus and I
had a girlfriend from the class over one hot July afternoon and we got real
hot ourselves. She was also 16 and her name was ... CHERRY! Neither of us
knew what we were doing but we sure as hell wanted to do it. Carrying
around all that virginity was becoming a bore. We repeated the episode
several times and got better at it. After the course we went back to our
respective cities and I never saw her again. It was two years before I got
any more nookie.
Agki
David Stites
> Carlo Tambuatco wrote:
>
>> On 7/23/05 10:36 PM, in article
>> 42e2fdb0$0$36265$892e...@authen.white.readfreenews.net, "suzee"
>> <suz...@imbris.com> wrote:
>>
>>
>>>Delila wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>> "suzee" <suz...@imbris.com> wrote in message
>>>>news:42e2e1dc$0$66781$892e...@authen.white.readfreenews.net...
>>>>
>>>>>The problem was your newshost. Many of them don't keep posts on very
>>>>>long, some a few hours, some only a few days. And some of them don't
>>>>>pick up all posts. Apparently yours was one that got missed.
>>>>
wasn't expired normally. I guess I will just have to blame Verizon. BTW, I
have been reading USENET for at least 10 years and have read and posted in
this group since before Google took over the archiving in 1999.
Later,
David
suzee
>>>
>>>>>>The problem was your newshost. Many of them don't keep posts on very
>>>>>>long, some a few hours, some only a few days. And some of them don't
>>>>>>pick up all posts. Apparently yours was one that got missed.
>>>>>
> Mine *was* there, I read it. And the post I replied to is still there so it
> wasn't expired normally. I guess I will just have to blame Verizon. BTW, I
> have been reading USENET for at least 10 years and have read and posted in
> this group since before Google took over the archiving in 1999.
Then I don't understand what you mean when you wrote your post was deleted.
sue
Squidly
IMHO that was a good way to help establish the differences between lust
and love. So many people in the world do not know the difference and get
caught in loveless marriages. They started out as lustfully but then
the lust dies quickly.
As for when I lost my virginity, well I was 18 and it was to my ex-wife.
Norton
Why were you having sex with your ex-wife? ;-)
Norton.
cvr2002
year of highschool. We were "in love" and his dad pretty much let us
spend as much time alone as we wanted in my bf's bedroom, so it just
happened naturally, no real planning or big moment of decision
involved. It was his second time, with the first one being when he
ejaculated very prematurely, which made him always say "it didn't
count". ;) Anyway, it was really nice, we both cared about eachother,
etc. I didn't orgasm, I don't think I had very few orgasms with him the
entire time we were having sex together, which was 4 or more times a
week for six months, but it was still fun.
The Dave
<oracl...@gmail.com> wrote:
>I am just wondering if anyone here (if the majority of you) lost your
>virginity while in high school, college, or afterwards...And if you like,
>you can also post your reason/the circumstances that you first lost it. I
>don't want this thread to feel like an old lady's sewing circle or anything,
>I am only curious.
>
>As for me, sorry to say, it wasn't until after my 22nd birthday that I
>popped my cherry, so to speak. And for those of you who still have
>abstained, what are you doing on this board? :)
I was either 20, or I'm still a virgin (24), depending on which
definition you use.
As far as I'm concerned, 20.
Elizabeth
jgr...@hotmail.com wrote:
> As a follow up to the poll about when people lost their virginity, how
> about how many
> PAID to lose their virginity, vs. just "got it."
>
> You can count "buying her(him) another drink" tactics if you want... :)
That sort of question begs your definition of "buying". Some would say
being bought dinner means you are obliged to have sex with them. I,
personally, do not see things in this sex-as-barter way. Guys who have
assumed this have had me refuse them, after all if they have wanted to
have sex with me they should have made this clear from the outset. If I
have wanted to sell sex, I would have made the suggestion that they buy
me dinner or pay me in cash (which, by the way, I've never done). A
trade, after all, is only a trade if both parties have agreed to its
conditions from the outset.
Dinner is dinner, unless you've both agreed that it is a tool of
barter. Otherwise, it is a companionable meal to be enjoyed by both
parties, with no expectations.
Tatayanna K
Carlo Tambuatco wrote:
> >
> I feel way cheated about waiting so long. It's as if it had been built up
> too much by that point. The anticipation for it had almost vanished. When I
> was 15 or so it was still new enough to elicit an arousing feeling. But even
> though I hadn't had sex until 22 I didn't feel like a virgin anymore.
> Probably chalk that up to the internet and sex groups like this one. But if
> I had done it at, say, 16 or 17, I would have had the full deflowering
> experience that everyone wanted. So, yea I do wish I had done it earlier.
>
> -Carlo
I read through this thread a few times and couldn't decide which post
to respond to. This particular post made me think so I'll give my
opinion based on my experience.
I'm a woman who lost her virginity at age 13. It was pleasurable but
painful as well. It happened one afternoon while his parents weren't
home and a few times after tat. The guy, who was 16, didn't seem to
care about my feelings about it and I realized that sex was all he
wanted, so I ended it.
What I did afterwards was went to my mother and told her what happened
and she didn't get upset but instead, we talked more about sex. She
gave me another talk with some more information and we talked a many
times after that.
We went well beyond the basics most kids are taught these days, and I
actually ended up abstaining for a few years until I met a great
guy(who many years after that, became my husband) I was really
attracted to.
When I talked to mom about it, she listened and wanted to know if I
thought there was a chance we'd have sex. I told her I wasn't sure and
she understood. She said I should be prepared for sex and a have
safe enviornment in which to do it, so she provided birth control for
me, and said if I wanted to have him over he could have sex with me at
home. I was a little shocked by this, but part of the deal was the
partner be someone she approved of(and she thought he was wonderful)
and that I not have a revolving door bedroom with a different guy every
weekend.
My boyfriend and I did eventually have sex in my bedroom at home and it
was great, much better than the previous times. One weekend when his
parents and sister had to go out of town and didn't want him in the
house alone, Mom said he could stay over with us and she let him spend
the night in my room with me. His parents would never have gone for
this, so Mom didn't say anything.
On Prom Night, Mom, who also chaperoned at the prom, rented a 2 bedroom
hotel suite for all of us so we wouldn't have to drive home late at
night. Mom slept in one room and me and my boyfriend stayed in the
other. That was up to then, the best night of my life.
We parted at graduation and lost touch until several years later when
we bumped into each other at a mall and ended up getting back together.
We found out we worked for the same employer (in different buildings)
and that I had talked to him on the phone a few times and didn't
realize who he was. We ended up finding out the connection was still
there and before long, we got married and have been happy together ever
since.
What am I trying to say? Don't feel bad because you didn't get started
soon enough. The first time should be between two people who truly
love and care for each other because if all one or both wants is sex,
there will be regrets later on. If you didn't find that right person
when you were 16, waiting was the best thing.
In spite of everything that has happened, I'm still somewhat torn about
my first experience, even though it was over 15 years ago. I could
simply say that I wish it hadn't happened, but I know if it had not,
Mom wouldn't have needed to have the more open discussions with me
about sex or had to be more supportive of my sexual development, which
might have had totally different results. Even though something
positive came out of it later, having my first when and with whom I had
it with wasn't a great idea.
You're not the only person who got started later in live. Nothing
wrong with being a late bloomer so don't sweat it. And don't compare
yourself with what you see in sex groups or on porn sites, alot of
people do tend to brag and exagerrate things. If you are happy with
your sex life, that is what really matters.
Tatayanna K.
Delila
"Tatayanna K" <tata...@lycos.com> wrote in message >
Wow, you really have a cool mom. I was going to ask if you are in a
European country, because this type of attitude seems to be more common
there than in the US (I'm from Europe), but then you mentioned 'prom', so
that gave it away. You're very lucky your mother was so supportive. Most
mothers, especially today, if they hear their 13-year-old daughter had sex,
would go to the police and ruin that young man's life.
D.
The Dave
"Delila" <WATERT...@SPAMpeoplepc.com> wrote:
> Wow, you really have a cool mom. I was going to ask if you are in a
>European country, because this type of attitude seems to be more common
>there than in the US (I'm from Europe), but then you mentioned 'prom', so
>that gave it away. You're very lucky your mother was so supportive. Most
>mothers, especially today, if they hear their 13-year-old daughter had sex,
>would go to the police and ruin that young man's life.
And yet they also wonder why their daughters aren't talking to them
about their lives anymore.
There is more to it then that, of course, but the fact that a child
knows that when they take a problem to their parents, it will result in
the child losing control of the situation is, in my opinion, a huge
reason why children avoid bringing up issues with their parents.
I'm hoping that should the need arise, my ex-g/f's kids would be able to
come to me for help, since I know that they wouldn't go to the current
b/f (yet, anyway) and might not go to their mom either, depending on the
situation.
If not, they know I'm good for pizza and I always have more DVDs, plus
they're usually desperate enough for money that I get chores done for
allowance money :) -- So either way it works out.
Tatayanna K
Delila wrote:
> Wow, you really have a cool mom. I was going to ask if you are in a
> European country, because this type of attitude seems to be more common
> there than in the US (I'm from Europe), but then you mentioned 'prom', so
> that gave it away. You're very lucky your mother was so supportive. Most
> mothers, especially today, if they hear their 13-year-old daughter had sex,
> would go to the police and ruin that young man's life.
>
I know I am very lucky to have such a great mother, and I let her know
that as often as possible. My husband also lets her know what a great
mother-in-law she is.
You are right about most mothers today. My husband also thinks that if
a mother today did what mine did and was found out, she'd probably be
arrested for child abuse and the young man prosecuted. I don't know if
I agree with him there, but I do think the U.S. is not moving forward
in the way in which it deals with sexual matters, it's actually moving
backwards.
My mother told me one of the things she wanted me to do was to learn
how to make the right decisions regarding sex because she knew she
wouldn't always be there to make that decision for me like some parents
like to do with their kids. She was hoping to not have to deal with
this problem so soon, but she did when it came up.
After I told her what happened, she and I had more frank and open talks
about all issues regarding sex. We talked about such things as being
with the right person, the pleasure aspects of it, making decisions
about it, and so on. I actually ended up not having sex again for 3
years until I met the boyfriend I mentioned in the last post.
When I talked with Mom about him, she was OK with it and said she
wanted me to make a good decision on my own and if I wanted to, I'd be
provided with a safe place to do it. She also made it perfectly clear
there would be no "revolving door bedroom," which I already knew I
wasn't going to do because of what I had learned in our talks before.
I think it worked out OK because I didn't sleep around as a teen like
some girls I knew did, I didn't get pregnant, never got an STD, never
got labeled "easy" at school, and am comfortable talking about sex.
The fact my high school boyfriend many years later became my husband to
me is also proof I made a good choice.
I've heard all kinds of stories about European attitudes toward sex.
I've heard people have a more relaxed attitude towards it, age of
conesent laws aren't so punitive, adult magazines, videos, and such are
sold openly, and even broadcast TV can show programs containing sex
that would only be on late night pay TV channels here in the States. I
always wondered if there was any truth to that.
Tatayanna K.
Delila
> that as often as possible. My husband also lets her know what a great
> mother-in-law she is.
>
> You are right about most mothers today. My husband also thinks that if
> a mother today did what mine did and was found out, she'd probably be
> arrested for child abuse and the young man prosecuted. I don't know if
> I agree with him there, but I do think the U.S. is not moving forward
> in the way in which it deals with sexual matters, it's actually moving
> backwards.
Yes, definitely, and Europeans are laughing about it.
>
> My mother told me one of the things she wanted me to do was to learn
> how to make the right decisions regarding sex because she knew she
> wouldn't always be there to make that decision for me like some parents
> like to do with their kids. She was hoping to not have to deal with
> this problem so soon, but she did when it came up.
Very wise of her. I don't know how I'd react if my 14-year-old daughter
came to me and told me she was having sex. Then again, I don't think she
would. She never comes to me with anything, not that I've given her reason
to be that secretive. Frankly, I'm hoping that she'll choose to wait a few
more years before becoming sexually active, but if not I'll deal with it in
a reasonable manner.
>
> After I told her what happened, she and I had more frank and open talks
> about all issues regarding sex. We talked about such things as being
> with the right person, the pleasure aspects of it, making decisions
> about it, and so on. I actually ended up not having sex again for 3
> years until I met the boyfriend I mentioned in the last post.
When you had sex at 13, did you use a condom or any other type of birth
control or were you just lucky?
>
> When I talked with Mom about him, she was OK with it and said she
> wanted me to make a good decision on my own and if I wanted to, I'd be
> provided with a safe place to do it. She also made it perfectly clear
> there would be no "revolving door bedroom," which I already knew I
> wasn't going to do because of what I had learned in our talks before.
My boyfriend (later my husband) stayed over in my bedroom (at my parents'
house) , too, but I was 18 at the time. He's the only guy who ever slept
with me in my bedroom, though.
>
> I think it worked out OK because I didn't sleep around as a teen like
> some girls I knew did, I didn't get pregnant, never got an STD, never
> got labeled "easy" at school, and am comfortable talking about sex.
> The fact my high school boyfriend many years later became my husband to
> me is also proof I made a good choice.
Yep.
>
> I've heard all kinds of stories about European attitudes toward sex.
> I've heard people have a more relaxed attitude towards it, age of
> conesent laws aren't so punitive, adult magazines, videos, and such are
> sold openly, and even broadcast TV can show programs containing sex
> that would only be on late night pay TV channels here in the States. I
> always wondered if there was any truth to that.
Yes, there is. I grew up in Germany in the '60s and '70s, and there was
occasional nudity on TV (remember that was what would be called 'network
television in the US; there was no 'cable'), like bared breasts or even full
frontal male nudity, and it was no big deal.
D.
Carlo Tambuatco
1123422365.2...@g43g2000cwa.googlegroups.com, "Tatayanna K"
<tata...@lycos.com> wrote:
Nice to hear a female perspective on this topic. And Delia is right, I wish
I had a mom that was as forward thinking as yours, but my parents are way
too conservative. As for being a "wise" decision about me waiting until I
was older to have sex, it, for the most part wasn't something I had planned
for. I suppose for women to wait for the right person is the wise decision
and it is something about finding someone you are compatible with to have
sex with. But for men, sex is more about the act itself, and the sensation
of doing it right the first time, because that first time won't happen
again. So for me, having waited until I was 22 sort of diminished the
experience for me since as I stated earlier it had been built up too much by
that point. If I had done it at 16 no matter who I chose to do it with, the
act of sex would have felt newer and more gratifying. More satisfying to
have done it at that age when the novelty hadn't yet worn off. I am sure
many guys here would agree with that.
But that's a male perspective. For women, I am sure it is different. I am
only saying that I regret waiting so long because the experience of it
diminished it for me. Believe me, I don't sweat being someone who had sex at
22, I am glad I got to do it at all, the way my parents are so Catholic
conservative. I had to wait so long because I wanted basically to be as far
away from them as possible when I did it and waited until I graduated
college and moved across the country.
-Carlo
Tatayanna K
> > a mother today did what mine did and was found out, she'd probably be
> > arrested for child abuse and the young man prosecuted. I don't know if
> > I agree with him there, but I do think the U.S. is not moving forward
> > in the way in which it deals with sexual matters, it's actually moving
> > backwards.
>
>
> Yes, definitely, and Europeans are laughing about it.
>
That doesn't surprise me. My mother says we're actually more repressed
about sex than we were back in the 1980s.
>
> >
> > My mother told me one of the things she wanted me to do was to learn
> > how to make the right decisions regarding sex because she knew she
> > wouldn't always be there to make that decision for me like some parents
> > like to do with their kids. She was hoping to not have to deal with
> > this problem so soon, but she did when it came up.
>
>
> Very wise of her. I don't know how I'd react if my 14-year-old daughter
> came to me and told me she was having sex. Then again, I don't think she
> would. She never comes to me with anything, not that I've given her reason
> to be that secretive. Frankly, I'm hoping that she'll choose to wait a few
> more years before becoming sexually active, but if not I'll deal with it in
> a reasonable manner.
>
Every situation and every person is different. My mother once said
what she did for me may not be the best option for someone else, but it
is an option that should be considered. Mine would have preferred I
waited too but when that didn't happen, she chose to address the issues
instead of just burying them.
>
> >
> > After I told her what happened, she and I had more frank and open talks
> > about all issues regarding sex. We talked about such things as being
> > with the right person, the pleasure aspects of it, making decisions
> > about it, and so on. I actually ended up not having sex again for 3
> > years until I met the boyfriend I mentioned in the last post.
>
>
> When you had sex at 13, did you use a condom or any other type of birth
> control or were you just lucky?
>
We used condoms. I knew about birth control back then and insisted on
it.
>
> >
> > When I talked with Mom about him, she was OK with it and said she
> > wanted me to make a good decision on my own and if I wanted to, I'd be
> > provided with a safe place to do it. She also made it perfectly clear
> > there would be no "revolving door bedroom," which I already knew I
> > wasn't going to do because of what I had learned in our talks before.
>
>
> My boyfriend (later my husband) stayed over in my bedroom (at my parents'
> house) , too, but I was 18 at the time. He's the only guy who ever slept
> with me in my bedroom, though.
>
The boyfriend I mentioned was also the only guy I ever had sleep in my
bedroom. It's not like there weren't other guys after graduation, but
he was the only one I had at home.
> >
> > I've heard all kinds of stories about European attitudes toward sex.
> > I've heard people have a more relaxed attitude towards it, age of
> > conesent laws aren't so punitive, adult magazines, videos, and such are
> > sold openly, and even broadcast TV can show programs containing sex
> > that would only be on late night pay TV channels here in the States. I
> > always wondered if there was any truth to that.
>
>
> Yes, there is. I grew up in Germany in the '60s and '70s, and there was
> occasional nudity on TV (remember that was what would be called 'network
> television in the US; there was no 'cable'), like bared breasts or even full
> frontal male nudity, and it was no big deal.
>
>
I think if it was like that here, we'd be alot better off than we are.
Tatayanna K.
~consul
> Very wise of her. I don't know how I'd react if my 14-year-old daughter
> came to me and told me she was having sex. Then again, I don't think she
> would. She never comes to me with anything, not that I've given her reason
> to be that secretive. Frankly, I'm hoping that she'll choose to wait a few
> more years before becoming sexually active, but if not I'll deal with it in
> a reasonable manner.
>
> control or were you just lucky?
I don't know which would freak me out more ... if my daughter told me she just had sex, or
that she had unprotected sex. :)
> My boyfriend (later my husband) stayed over in my bedroom (at my parents'
> house) , too, but I was 18 at the time. He's the only guy who ever slept
> with me in my bedroom, though.
The woman I had sex with first, I eventually stayed over at her parents house for one
weekend, and I took her younger sisters room. I think they knew that we were having sex,
but they seemed nice to me. It was the first time they met me, and I guess I made a good
enough impression, and that they trusted their daughter well enough with her decisions.
--
"... respect, all good works are not done by only good folk. For here, at the end of all
things, we shall do what needs to be done."
--till next time, Jameson Stalanthas Yu -x- <<poetry.dolphins-cove.com>>
~consul
> for. I suppose for women to wait for the right person is the wise decision
> and it is something about finding someone you are compatible with to have
> sex with. But for men, sex is more about the act itself, and the sensation
> of doing it right the first time, because that first time won't happen
> again. So for me, having waited until I was 22 sort of diminished the
> experience for me since as I stated earlier it had been built up too much by
> that point. If I had done it at 16 no matter who I chose to do it with, the
> act of sex would have felt newer and more gratifying. More satisfying to
> have done it at that age when the novelty hadn't yet worn off. I am sure
> many guys here would agree with that.
I can't decide ... :) . I wonder if, besides the implied buildup of the significance of
the act, as well as the daring and 'taboo' aspect of teenage sex, it means less when you
do it later in life because you've got so many more experiences in life to compare it to.
It's like getting your drivers license maybe. Getting it at 15 is HUUUUUGE because you've
just found out a whole new world to go to. You don't drive to get to a destination, you
drive to be DRIVING. But, if like me, you get your license later in life, 18 for me, and
you've already been to those other places by bus, taxi or bumming rides from others, and
it's just another tool in your life, no big whoop. Do you understand my comparison?
~consul
> Carlo Tambuatco wrote:
>>I feel way cheated about waiting so long. It's as if it had been built up
>>too much by that point. The anticipation for it had almost vanished. When I
>>was 15 or so it was still new enough to elicit an arousing feeling. But even
>>though I hadn't had sex until 22 I didn't feel like a virgin anymore.
>>Probably chalk that up to the internet and sex groups like this one. But if
>>I had done it at, say, 16 or 17, I would have had the full deflowering
>>experience that everyone wanted. So, yea I do wish I had done it earlier.
((snipped excellent post))
> You're not the only person who got started later in live. Nothing
> wrong with being a late bloomer so don't sweat it. And don't compare
> yourself with what you see in sex groups or on porn sites, alot of
> people do tend to brag and exagerrate things. If you are happy with
> your sex life, that is what really matters.
I'll have to second it. I was a virgin until I was 21. I was with a girl as a teenager for
3 years, and while she wasn't a christian, but she wanted to wait until marriage. We
snogged a whole lot, and even groped and fondled each other, sometimes to the point of
orgasm, but never PI_ sex. We were going to get married after 18, as high school
graduation seemed like a good enough marker. But even that wasn't set in stone, as there
really wasn't any rush for us to have PI_ sex. We were happy with each other at what we
were in at the time.
~consul
> Wow, you really have a cool mom. I was going to ask if you are in a
> European country, because this type of attitude seems to be more common
> there than in the US (I'm from Europe), but then you mentioned 'prom', so
> that gave it away.
Wait, you folks don't have a prom in Europe (or Germany to be specific for you)? What sort
of final dance/get together is there for the seniors that occurs in the end of the school
term?
Delila
"~consul" <con...@INVALIDdolphins-cove.com> wrote in message
news:ddrueq$91j$9...@gist.usc.edu...
>
> It's like getting your drivers license maybe. Getting it at 15 is
HUUUUUGE because you've
> just found out a whole new world to go to. You don't drive to get to a
destination, you
> drive to be DRIVING. But, if like me, you get your license later in
life, 18 for me,
I think 18 is a better age for a DL anyway. 15, 16 is much too young. For
me 'later in life' would mean age 25 and up, though, not 18.
D.
Delila
"~consul" <con...@INVALIDdolphins-cove.com> wrote in message
>
> Wait, you folks don't have a prom in Europe (or Germany to be specific
for you)? What sort
> of final dance/get together is there for the seniors that occurs in the
end of the school
> term?
Nothing, really. It's possible, that this has changed since, but back in
the '70s and '80s, you just got your certificate, and that was it.
D.
illecebra
<snip>
>
> I think 18 is a better age for a DL anyway. 15, 16 is much too young. For
> me 'later in life' would mean age 25 and up, though, not 18.
>
>
> D.
>
That's rather impractical. How would young people work?
illecebra
Delila
"illecebra" <vyyrpro...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:3meec9F...@individual.net...
>
> That's rather impractical. How would young people work?
There are plenty of people without DLs who still work. I'm one of them.
You can either walk or take a bus.
D.
Tom Allen
Try living in the 'burbs with no DL or bus route. I used to be big on
biking to the store, but since I moved to this area - it's rather hilly
- it takes forever to do even simple errands.
Tom
--
They told me that I was getting a sweater for my birthday.
Too bad; I was hoping for a moaner or a screamer.
suzee
We're moving to another apartment that's about three blocks from my
work, and a few more from my bf's. He already walks a few blocks to take
the bus to work, he'll just walk a few more now. But not everyone can
arrange their lives this way. Especially in small towns with no bus
service but still too far to walk everywhere, or suburbs where there's
no grocery stores nearby and your job is miles away.
sue
illecebra
Unless you don't live in a city. Less urban areas not only don't have
public transportation, but are so spread out that walking to work is
entirely impractical, especially for young people juggling work *and*
school.
illecebra
abor...@redshark.goodshow.net
In the USA that is going to be VERY dependent upon locale.
--
Aaron
w1lma
In the UK, you cannot take the driving test until you are 17. So young
people either take public transport, or if that isn't available, they
have to rely on lifts, or the family taxi service!
Once I got over worrying, it was great when my youngest daughter passed
her test :o)
Wilma
Gary Gary
with a 14 year old girl, that I met there. I think, that we were both
surprised, that it happened. But since we had bathing suits on, and it
felt so good making out, one thing led to another, and I found myself on
top of her.
Minty
adult (sexual) relationship. However, I wasn't about to do it with just
anyone. I didn't fancy any of the boys at my school. (Even if I had,
they all seemed to like the ditzy girls, rather than the ones like me
who came top in Physics, sang opera and did karate.) So I had to wait
until I was 17 before I met someone I really wanted to have sex with,
who was also interested in me.
It was rubbish, by the way. I was sorely disappointed, and I didn't
have really good sex with a guy until I was 19.
It was even worse with women. I didn't really realise I was bi until I
was 16 or so, but after that it seemed for years that every woman I was
attracted to was as straight as a die. I was, I think, 22 or 23, and it
was in a club toilet (there's glamour for you).
I have no experience of sex with animals.
Minty
GoldenMan54
16 year old aunt who proceeded to show me the correct way to make love.
I can still remember the feel of my first cum and I is a old man now. I
lived on Jolo Island in the South China Sea.
Tom Allen
<curtain opens>
"Ah yes, Goldie, I lost my virginity 42 years ago this very day. In
fact, it was right here in this meadow, under that there maple tree."
"Wow, Manny, That must have been special if you remember that."
"Oh yes. You never forget your first cum. In fact, Goldie, her own
mother was standing right over there by the fence post."
"You don't mean that! Her own mother was watching you shagging away?"
"Sure thing. Watched us the whole time."
"Holy bejeepers! What did she say to you afterwards?"
"I think it was 'B-a-a-a-h.'"
<exit left, curtain closes>
Tom
--
"Eat your weiners in buns, no condiments. Anything else is wrong."
-- Hank
Norton
><curtain opens>
><exit left, curtain closes>
No Tom. You exit left, sheepishly, and the
curtain closes...
Norton.
Tom Allen
Oh, Norton, ewe are so ba-a-a-d.
Norton
<GRIN>
Norton.