Could be they'll need to drive and drop off the black bubbas to rape his 
sorry ass instead of it being done in the prison shower.
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2023/08/trump-home-confinement-
bedminster-mar-a-lago-debate.html
Trump Could End Up in Home Confinement. Which Property Should He Pick?
By Dan Kois and Jonathan L. Fischer
Aug 24, 20235:50 AM
 
 
On Thursday, former President Donald J. Trump is expected to surrender to 
authorities in Fulton County, Georgia, on charges of racketeering and 
other felonies related to his efforts to overturn the 2020 presidential 
election.
Trump will be released on a $200,000 bond. However, that bond agreement 
includes conditions surrounding social-media posting and witness 
intimidation that might prove challenging for him to abide by, given his 
recent history.
Should Trump violate the terms of his bond, it would raise the prospect of 
him being held in contempt of court, as well as the question of 
appropriate remedy. And should he ultimately be convicted of any of the 
dozens of charges filed against him in four separate jurisdictions that 
all carry essentially life sentences for the 77-year-old, that would raise 
the question of appropriate punishment. Given the logistical hurdles of 
imprisoning a former president with lifetime Secret Service protection, 
one likely outcome is that Trump ultimately finds himself in home 
confinement, either for a short period while he awaits trial, or for a 
longer period after conviction and sentencing. He would be the rare inmate 
who may have his choice of several prisons that bear his name.
Two stand out: Mar-a-Lago, his opulent club in Palm Beach, Florida, where 
he spends the winter; and the Trump National Golf Club Bedminster, the 
vast New Jersey property where he lives in the summer. Which of Trump’s 
two primary residences would be the best one for him to pick for any home-
confinement punishment, either short-term, for contempt of court, or 
longer-term, for criminal conviction? In the spirit of Slate’s usual 
dogged news analysis, we offer this debate as to which is the superior 
place to be stuck with an ankle bracelet.
The Case for Bedminster
I know this about Donald Trump: He is lazy. So lazy that I do not foresee 
our hypothetically homebound 45th president going through whatever 
bureaucratic hoops might bedevil him in order to be able to leave historic 
Mar-a-Lago prison and golf at one of his Florida links. So his main would-
be physical activity in the Sunshine State is out. I also know this: 
Donald Trump does not wear shorts. If you’re a summertime resident of Palm 
Beach—when it’s hot, muggy, “oppressive,” and, oh yeah, the start of 
hurricane season—you need shorts. Or better yet: You need to not be there.
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Who is at Mar-a-Lago in the summer? No one! The club closes for most if 
not all of the summer, staying shuttered until the start of the annual 
“season”—i.e., the party circuit of well-heeled snowbirds relocating from 
up north—in the midfall. I’m sure spending the winter months locked up on 
South Ocean Boulevard would be swell: He might have the opportunity to 
crash weddings during recreation hour, show random dinner guests the last 
indictment he was served, and hobnob with honored visitors like the 
MyPillow guy. But summer would be deadly. There would be no strivers, 
sycophants, lackeys, gophers, MAGA groupies, or for that matter even eager 
Mar-a-Lago guest Kari Lake, whose own state is hotter but at least there’s 
no humidity. Who will remind this man how very important he is? Who will 
hear him tell of the SINGLE GREATEST WITCH HUNT IN THE HISTORY OF THIS 
COUNTRY? If Trump craves the comfort of the echo chamber that got him into 
this mess—and he does—he needs to do his time in New Jersey.
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What else is going for Bedminster? Summers are lovely; winters are getting 
milder thanks to the climate change Trump did his part to accelerate; its 
larger size means that it contains way more gold leaf than Mar-a-Lago; and 
with its mid-Atlantic location, it helps keep close Trump’s many, many 
enemies in Washington and Manhattan. Plus, since he may well never get 
out, he might as well settle in early at his final destination: The Trump 
family’s burial plot is on the property too. —Jonathan L. Fischer
The Case for Mar-a-Lago
If you’re Donald Trump and you’ve gotta pick someplace to be on house 
arrest for months or even years, the choice is clear: Mar-a-Lago. It’s 
sunny, it’s scenic, it’s close to family. More importantly for Donald 
Trump, it’s (most months of the year at least) packed, day in and day out, 
with sycophants, socialites, and Florida flimflammers, all eager to press 
the flesh with the former president.
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For Trump’s purposes, Mar-a-Lago is superior to Bedminster in every way. 
Crucially to the ex-president’s finances, it’s in a state with no income 
tax. It’s where Trump stored most of his precious boxes full of documents, 
and who knows how many others he’s got squirreled away down there, piled 
up in secret gilded bathrooms the FBI couldn’t even locate. And most 
importantly, if Trump’s going to spend a year or more in the same house, 
he’ll want to be in a place where he can continue to annoy future failed 
presidential candidate and current Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis. You think 
Trump would miss the opportunity to needle DeSantis at every turn when the 
guy returns to Florida, tail between his legs? Not a chance.
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I don’t even think he’d consider Bedminster for his house arrest. What, 
hang out in Jersey, 40 miles from the hustle and bustle of Manhattan, at a 
golf club that’s unplayable five months of the year and where, the rest of 
the time, you run the risk of accidentally tripping over your ex-wife’s 
weed-covered grave? No way. Better to spend your exile where the goons and 
millionaires of Palm Beach have easy access to you, where you can enjoy 
the AC on steamy summer days but still get out to golf the rest of the 
year.
Yes, it’s true that the West Palm Beach course Trump prefers is officially 
off-property, unlike the one at Bedminster. Trump taking a car across town 
for 18 holes might irritate any judge who’s insisting on his house arrest, 
and it will really irritate his parole officer. But Trump loves to 
irritate judges (and, presumably, parole officers). He’ll send his lawyers 
in with a dozen arguments as to why the golf course counts as his house, 
and he’ll issue Truths about how this activist judge, this LOSER of a 
PAROLE OFFICER, is VIOLATING his RIGHTS by not allowing him to visit HIS 
OWN PROPERTY, which is VERY UNFAIR and UN-AMERICAN. And, in the end, 
nothing will happen. Each time his ankle bracelet starts buzzing in the 
tee box, he’ll share a jolly laugh with his playing partners. “Hello? 
Hello?” he’ll say, pretending to hold a phone to his ear. “I can’t hear 
you, Fani Willis!” Then he’ll get in his golf cart and drive away. —Dan 
Kois