Marriage Dilemma
Rattan, Daljit
I would like to have people s views on the following:
Over the last few years I have noticed that it is becoming increasingly
difficult for young Sikhs (boys and girls) to find partners. It is
especially true of Sikh girls who want to marry Kesadhari/Turbaned Sikhs. I
know of many Sikh girls both in Canada and in India who are very well
educated, modern but yet well versed and respectful of Sikh religious and
cultural values, who will have no trouble adjusting in the western
countries, but they or their parents can t find suitable life partners for
them. Is it because we really have deviated that much from Sikhi that there
aren t many Sardars around? Is it because as a community we have drifted
and spread so much that we have lost contact and means to meet other people?
Is it that the persecution of last decade that took the heaviest toll on
male Sikhs between the ages of 15 and 30 that is finally showing its effect?
Or is it due to more Sikhs (men more so than women) marrying outside of
Sikh religion?
I am asking these questions not just out of curiosity, but I think first it
should concern us as to where our community is headed in terms of preserving
the external form of Sikhi, and second, it disturbs me to see Sikh girls
(colleagues from the university, nieces, etc.) who are excellent people and
would make great life partners struggling to find Sikh boys.
P.S. Funny thing is that on this news group I notice a lot of comments from
the Sikh boys who wonder if they will find a Sardarni to marry them.
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Jaswinder Singh
: I would like to have people s views on the following:
: Over the last few years I have noticed that it is becoming increasingly
: difficult for young Sikhs (boys and girls) to find partners. It is
: especially true of Sikh girls who want to marry Kesadhari/Turbaned Sikhs. I
: know of many Sikh girls both in Canada and in India who are very well
: educated, modern but yet well versed and respectful of Sikh religious and
: cultural values, who will have no trouble adjusting in the western
: countries, but they or their parents can t find suitable life partners for
: them.
Wow that is a first for me!:) Seriously you must be joking?!
Sikh girls looking for Kesadhari sikhs... a bit difficult for me to
swallow. I have yet to meet one girl in my life, ok, I have met one..
only one!:) who thinks this way. Actually, it doesn't really matter
if the person is Kesadhari or not...as long as he is a sikh.
The girls you are talking about, probably have parents who are
very religious, and maintain the Sikh uniform. Hence parental
influence plays a great role in determining their mate. But I'm sure
most of them, if not all, if asked to choose from their own free will,
would buy into the Western cultural concept of beauty and prefer to
choose non-kesadhari Sikhs.
All I know, I'm very skeptical about what you said above has
any real truth, since I haven't come across any sikh girl who thinks
in that manner.
Is it because we really have deviated that much from Sikhi that there
: aren t many Sardars around? Is it because as a community we have drifted
: and spread so much that we have lost contact and means to meet other people?
Both factors play significant role. But in a city like
Toronto with such a big populatoins of sikhs, I would have to say the
first... truthfully, I don't see many Sardar sikhs around anymore! In
my own university, I have only seen about a half a dozen Sardars..and
I'm sure we have at least about 500 sikhs at York.
Besides the old men!:))) who walk around those building complexes and
sit in the parks together!:)
: Is it that the persecution of last decade that took the heaviest toll on
: male Sikhs between the ages of 15 and 30 that is finally showing its effect?
Partially...but more and more Sikhs are themselves willing to
part from Sikhi! The persecution, wouldn't have much effect in the
USA and CAnada.
: Or is it due to more Sikhs (men more so than women) marrying outside of
: Sikh religion?
Actually I would think...jusust as many women are doing so as
well.
So that should balance off the odds... but those who do, majority, if
not all of them are not Kesadhari Sikhs so this shouldn't fit in your
above equation!:)
: I am asking these questions not just out of curiosity, but I think first it
: should concern us as to where our community is headed in terms of preserving
: the external form of Sikhi, and second, it disturbs me to see Sikh girls
: (colleagues from the university, nieces, etc.) who are excellent people and
: would make great life partners struggling to find Sikh boys.
Aren't we all!:)) struggling!:)..to finding that diamond!:))
: P.S. Funny thing is that on this news group I notice a lot of comments from
: the Sikh boys who wonder if they will find a Sardarni to marry them.
Hmmmmmmmmmm..I'm laughing!;)
Take care,
Jas.
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To thee I say, whose heart in me rests.
Promise me no promises, actions speak best. JS&AH
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Jaswinder Singh,(#poet) York University, Chemistry, Education.
E-mail- yu10...@yorku.ca,j...@interlog.com
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Hmmm!
a> writes:
>
>I would like to have people s views on the following:
>
>Over the last few years I have noticed that it is becoming increasingly
>difficult for young Sikhs (boys and girls) to find partners. It is
>especially true of Sikh girls who want to marry Kesadhari/Turbaned Sikhs. I
>know of many Sikh girls both in Canada and in India who are very well
>educated, modern but yet well versed and respectful of Sikh religious and
>cultural values, who will have no trouble adjusting in the western
>countries, but they or their parents can t find suitable life partners for
>aren t many Sardars around? ed
U said it !!!
The second and the third generation don't find it important to
follow the same norms..be they cultural, religious...as their parents
the popular culture seems to be prevailing!
(Whatever that is )
>and spread so much that we have lost contact and means to meet other people?
> Is it that the persecution of last decade that took the heaviest toll on
>male Sikhs between the ages of 15 and 30 that is finally showing its effect?
> Or is it due to more Sikhs (men more so than women) marrying outside of
>Sikh religion?
That too is very true!
But that is the case all over the world..UK..USA..
And even in modern India
>.
>.
InderPaul Singh
WJKK, WJKF
When I read your post, I was in awe. I know of so many turbaned Sikhs
who are concerned of the fact that the modern "Sikh" Girl is not going
for turbaned Sikhs. A lot of girls are going hindu and muslim guys. I
remeber one instance where on of my friens liked this Sikh girl, and so
he started talking to her and all. This is what she said to him: "I'd go
out with you, if you didn't have a turban" She liked the guy, but not
the turban. the amazing part is, this is coming from a "Sikh" girl (I
use that term loosely) who's father wears a turban! What is the world
coming to?