Time after spouse dies before remarry (Catholic)?
Carol Thomas
Hi,
Does anyone know if there is a specific amount of time that
the Catholic church requires as a mourning/waiting period
before remarrying after a spouse has died?
(That's quite a long sentence!)
Thanks in advance,
Carol
--
CRT
William M Klimon
On 12 Mar 1997, Carol Thomas wrote:
> Does anyone know if there is a specific amount of time that
> the Catholic church requires as a mourning/waiting period
> before remarrying after a spouse has died?
As far as I can see in canon law, there is no specific waiting period for
widows--nothing different from whatever is laid down by local directive
with regard to publication of the banns and adequate preparation of the
couple.
My understanding is that waiting periods of a year (or more) were cultural
traditions not based in church law, but which sometimes found enactment in
secular law.
On the other hand, we must remember that, while there is no prohibition of
second marriages, there is a strong tradition approving the once (and only
once) married widow(er) and frowning on digamy (remarriage after being
widowed). Indeed the early Church had an ordo of such holy women, who
served the Church in many ways and were accorded honor similar
to that given to the clergy. I have no doubt that this tradition, now
formally extinct (although a visit to any church will show that it lives
informally), flowed into the monastic movement, which we have still today.
Pax.
WMK.
______________________________________________________________________________
William M. Klimon ("12") wkl...@umabnet.ab.umd.edu
University of Maryland School of Law
500 West Baltimore Street
Baltimore, MD 21201-1786
PsychoCop2
Marriage in the Catholic Church requires a minimum of six months of
marriage counseling with a Priest. It would probably also not be a good
idea to start marriage counseling the day after the funeral. I would
guess an additional six months before the engagement would be appropriate.
Gerry Palo
In article <5gahfs$n...@geneva.rutgers.edu>,
William M Klimon <wkl...@umabnet.ab.umd.edu> wrote:
>
>My understanding is that waiting periods of a year (or more) were cultural
>traditions not based in church law, but which sometimes found enactment in
>secular law.
There may be an underlying reality behind the tradition of waiting a
year. The time of mourning is a kind of purgation, of loosening of bonds
of soul and body now that the bodily foundation for them is dissolved. By
going once through the cycle of the year and its seasons the gradual
loosening and freeing can unfold in its good time. Each day, each turn of
season may recall an especially tender moment or memory of how that
person was -- in the first crisp breath of autumn, for example, or on a
peasant summer's day. By living through the year and experiencing these
moments, perhaps from time to time welling up in grief, and then letting
them go, then both parties can become free in a good way.
The loosening of the bond also takes place in space. A friend of mine
described how this happened, not with his wife, but with his mother, who
died in a fire when he was in his thirties. He found that his grieving
for her would subside, but then he would visit a place they had often
visited together and it would come back again. He would go to a mall in
a particular part of the city where they often shopped, and opening the
door, it would all come back again. After that, going through that
particular place would not recall the grief anymore. He had to more or
less work his way through all the places they had known together. This
took about a year.
There is also an interesting Jewish legend that I find interesting.
When Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers and they showed Jacob
the bloody coat, he mourned for his son's death, but after a year he
continued to mourn, his grief would not leave him. Because it did not
pass after a year, he concluded in his mind that Joseph must still in
fact be alive. This is of course a legend, but it reflects a kind of
profound ancient wisdom about the mourning process in the course of time.
Especially when it is a matter of a marriage relationship, it might be
good to consider this idea of a year's wait, even if there is not
external rule about it.
--
----------------------------------------------------------
Gerry Palo Denver, Colorado
pa...@netcom.com
Carol Thomas
The reason I asked was that my Dad told my mother that he
wanted a divorce (to be with his girlfriend). My mother
couldn't handle it and committed suicide (67 yrs old). Now
my Dad is "becomming catholic" (his girlfriend is catholic)
and they've announced their wedding date. I was just
wondering what the catholic church said about the waiting
time.
--
CRT
William M Klimon
This is a very sad story. Another example of why divorce is SO
pernicious. Too bad the Irish voters didn't hear this story before their
recent referendum.
In any event:
This is a TOTALLY different question--which you should have posed in the
beginning.
Canon law deals with this question explicitly:
Code of Canon Law, Canon 1090, sec. 1:
"One who for the purpose of entering marriage with a particular person,
brought about the death of that person's spouse, or of one's own spouse,
attempts that marriage invalidly"
Invalidly here means that any marriage attempted by the parties will NOT
be recognized by the Church. Although it is possible to be dispensed from
this impediment by the Holy See, it strikes me as unlikely that that would
happen.
The more important question is whether what your father did constitutes
"bringing about the death" (mortem intulerit) of your mother. This canon
is sometimes said to refer to murder or homicide (which are far from
identical terms). Assuming suicide is the true cause of death here, that
eliminates what in American criminal law would be considered murder.
On the other hand, the distinguished canonist Fr. Ladislas Orsy, S.J.,
writes about this question in this way: "brought about: in any way,
physically or morally; personally or by the agency of others."--L. Orsy,
*Marriage in Canon Law* (1986), p. 117.
Finally is the question of the intention: "for the purpose of entering
marriage with a particular person." In this case, is the intention to
cause the death required, or merely the intention to marry someone else
which maybe inadvertently caused the death? I'm no canonist, but my
reading of the law would suggest that latter.
All that being said, there is clearly a problem here. You obviously feel
that some kind of injustice is at work here. Given that, I would contact
your father's priest and explain to him the whole situation. You would
certainly be doing the right thing to raise the questions.