My husband is a non-believer, not in God (he believes strongly in a
Creator), but in Jesus. He was raised a Catholic, even studied in seminary
as a young man, but now says he "believes in the message, but not in the
man". (To me, the message is the Man.) I married him 6 years ago. He was
a widower and I had been divorced and a single-parent for 10 years. At the
time of the marriage, I was exploring New Age alternatives and was estranged
from Christ, although I've been a believer for 40 years.
I've since repented, both of my New Age involvement and my disobedience in
marrying an unbeliever. I do my best not to push my beliefs on him, and
have only actually argued religion with him once in all those years (in
spite of the fact that he mocks Christianity and seems to embrace everything
else such as Islam, reincarnation, Buddhism, spirit guides, karma,
Freemasonry, etc.) I've repented of that, too and am trying to share
quietly by being a godly wife.
Over the years, I've fallen out of love with him, but because of my faith in
the Lord, I've stayed in the marriage. Lest you think I'm a
"non-submissive" wife, I will tell you that I am a traditional woman who
prefers the leadership of her mate and am a stay-at-home parent. My husband
is grateful to have a godly wife, but figures I would be this way even if I
was Buddhist.:-(
My sadness has come from having a mate who from the very first day of our
marriage has had a "hands off" approach to sexuality. He even, believing
himself to be open-minded, gave me permission to go have sex with other men
(as long as I'd keep it to myself and not tell him). I did not do so, but
have been sorely tempted at times. (I am deeply wounded that he wanted to
foist me off on someone else.) I've begged, cried, been furious (you would
be too after 6 years!) and finally become apathetic sexually. Rather than
take responsibility and seek a doctor's help, he finally turned it around on
me and told me he'd never been physically attracted to heavy-set women. (I
was heavy-set when he married me and I'm in my 50's. I suffer from
hypothyroidism, so losing weight is an extremely slow process.) Over the
years, this has worn down my self-esteem, and where I used to be an
extremely feminine woman, I now feel sexless and neutered.
I've tried so hard to be faithful in prayer for him. Daily, I would write
down prayers taken from scriptures and pray them in his behalf. I've tried
to live a Christlike life before him, although I'm human and do fail. I've
asked others to pray for his salvation, but I wonder sometimes if they
really do or if I'm the only one praying for him. But I'm tired and I
really don't even want to be married to him any more. Everything I'm doing,
I'm only doing out of obedience.not love.
Many of the groups for wives of unbelieving husbands lay even greater guilt
trips on the women than they had before. They make a woman feel her
husband's salvation is all on her shoulders. The only thing that has ever
taken that weight off was a book I read called "How to Be the Happy Wife of
an Unsaved Husband" which was realistic in its approach and deeply
encouraging.
My heart's cry..is not for advice nor counsel. (I've read all the books. I
know what I'm supposed to do and what is scriptural.) I want at least one
man to faithfully pray for my husband and for me.to know someone out there
will pray fervently and diligently. (The Word says that the "effectual,
fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much".) That would be a comfort
to me, to know I am not alone. (Yes, I know the Lord is with me, but I need
someone with "skin on", too.)
Also, if the Lord ever puts it on your heart to share your faith with
another man.be it at work, recreation, the grocery store, wherever.do not
hesitate.you might be the answer to some woman's prayers in behalf of her
husband.
Thanks for your time and I apologize for this being so long.
Teresa
--
Posted by Moderator of soc.religion.christian.promisekeepers
Posting submission address: pkp...@webchamps.com
Requests or admin address: pka...@webchamps.com
Charter at <http://www.webchamps.com/promisekeepers/>
In article <ttjmohf...@corp.supernews.com>, "Teresa says...