I learned of the Baha'i religion, studied it the best I could, became
a card carrying member, then after personal reflection due to changes
in my life, mailed my card back to the US NSA.
When I was a young man I vowed that if I could not believe everything
that a faith declared, ordered, commanded, alluded to or suggested
then I would not be a member.
At this late stage of my life I feel that all religions or faiths,
whatever you want to call them have falsities that a member must
believe in or else they are a hypocrite in my opinion. If you tell
yourself, well, I'll just let that one thing slip but I know in my
heart and mind it is false, then you are a hypocrite.
Then to say to yourself as is taught, maybe I'm the problem here, it's
just that I'm not ready to understand this and perhaps in time I will
understand it doesn't settle well with me either.
I say this with much sadness as I truly believe the Baha'i view may be
the best view available yet I believe it is already misconstrued,
outdated and misinterpreted already. There is so very much truth,
greatness and constructiveness yet the few things I get tripped up on
in my heart and mind are insurmountable as they would cause me to act
against others (loss of administrative privilege's) and to consider
myself as having failed when I do not consider myself as having failed
to live up to and abide by the laws, if I stayed active.
I can live with my actions as I have always felt that we all are going
to end up 'healed' in all ways and that no one will be condemned ever,
that it is all good now and will be all good later. Details, no, just
a personal feeling.
And now that I turned in my card with the note that the reason being
is not that I turn away from the faith but that I cannot have my
Friends in the faith go through the ordeal of having to relieve me of
my administrative privilege's, my 'Friend's' tell me they must treat
me differently now.
Differently has meant not having them call anymore and turning off the
emotional contact we once had which is very sad. I don't mean
administrative, I mean love and personal caring and contact.
I have never condemned them nor the faith, simply stayed quiet other
than my note, as I will not tell someone they are wrong and I am
The biggest hurt is that I thought I was loved by my Friends in the
faith for who I was and that it would never change but feel that it
was loved tempered upon only if i was carrying a card.
(FYI: my personal action was I refused to contact my father for
approval in marriage, he has never been in my life, and even asked me
to send him my mothers death certificate so he could annul there
marriage, thereby annuling me and my two sisters who also never hear
from him even though we have tried to get him to contact us in the
past, and would never have forced my now wife to seek approval from
hers. Another FYI, my mother and her mother are dead and my father is
alive and my wife doesn't know where her father is or even if he is
alive as he too choose not to be in her life.)
"If a community values its children, it must cherish their parents." - Dr. John Bowlby
"For this reason must all human beings powerfully sustain one another…"
The reason is that humanity like a tree and "it is needful for the bough to blossom, and leaf and fruit to flourish, and upon the interconnection of all parts of the world-tree, dependeth the flourishing of leaf and blossom, and the sweetness of the fruit.."
- Writings of the Baha’i Faith
> Subject: I learned of the...
> From: tsuk...@gmail.com
> Date: Fri, Jan 1, 2010 at 7:26 AM
> Subject: I learned of the...
If it is misconstrued or misinterpreted, that is not a fault of the
I'm curious: what will you do with all the truth you do see in there?
I wrote quite a long reply to this posting, but it seems to have been
lost in cyberspace, so I will try again.
> And now that I turned in my card with the note that the reason being
> is not that I turn away from the faith but that I cannot have my
> Friends in the faith go through the ordeal of having to relieve me of
> my administrative privilege's, my 'Friend's' tell me they must treat
> me differently now.
Michael, if you still believe in Baha'u'llah you are a Baha'i. You
really shouldn't let your being a Baha'i be contingent on other
people. If you are not a member of the community, then you can't
participate in acvitivities with an administrative element to them
like 19-Day Feast, but otherwise, you can attend pretty much
everything, and nobody should treat you any differently.
> Differently has meant not having them call anymore and turning off the
> emotional contact we once had which is very sad. I don't mean
> administrative, I mean love and personal caring and contact.
I know that Baha'is are not perfect. All are raised in the Old World
Order and have picked up many of it's traits. So maybe the situation
is exactly as you imagine. But is it possible that it is something
else which you are not aware of? For instance, I am aware that most
Baha'is are over-stretched between work, raising families, serving on
spiritual assemblies, running study circles, devotionals, children's
classes, etc, and they have very little time for socializing which
isn't part of their normal activities. They may have intended to
call, but because of busyness let things slide for a while. When this
happens the time stretches out quickly and one can feel guilty about
it which makes it even harder to pick up the phone and call. Also,
without realizing it, you might have put an emotional distance to them
because of your hurt about being denied administrative rights. Things
are often not as straightforward as they seem. I mention this not to
deny your reality but to say that there are always two sides to every
situation and it might help in creating unity in the community to try
to find out what is happening with them, and for you to be the first
one to try to patch things up. Baha'is are at different levels of
spiritual maturity, but we are all supposed to be striving to live up
to the teachings of the Faith which are love and unity. That doesn't
just mean them but you too.
As Baha'is we are supposed to be seeing our lives as walking along a
path of God where we are trying at all times to pass spiritual tests
and gain in spiritual qualities like love, forebearance, patience,
long-suffering, humility, etc. The tests are the stepping stones to
growth if we approach them in the right spirit. 'Abdu'l-Baha says:
"Let not your heart be offended with anyone. If some one commits an
error and wrong toward you, you must instantly forgive him..."
(`Abdu'l-Baha: Promulgation of Universal Peace*, Page: 453)
This is a tall order and I don't know many people who can live up to
it, but it is an ideal.
> I have never condemned them nor the faith, simply stayed quiet other
> than my note, as I will not tell someone they are wrong and I am
It's good not to complain of others or to exalt yourself over them.
But if you don't also try to find out what is going on with them but
assume it's because you are no longer loved and they were insincere,
then this is a situation where painful feelings can fester on both
sides. Conflict and disunity is very painful to all concerned. It's
better to talk it all through with some respected people in the
> (FYI: my personal action was I refused to contact my father for
> approval in marriage, he has never been in my life, and even asked me
> to send him my mothers death certificate so he could annul there
> marriage, thereby annuling me and my two sisters who also never hear
> from him even though we have tried to get him to contact us in the
> past, and would never have forced my now wife to seek approval from
> hers. Another FYI, my mother and her mother are dead and my father is
> alive and my wife doesn't know where her father is or even if he is
> alive as he too choose not to be in her life.)
You shouldn't have had to get consent from your father or hers in this
situation according to this letter from the Universal House of
1244. Circumstances Under which Parental Consent for Baha'i Marriage
"In reply to your letter about the problem of ... who is unable
to locate the natural father of her fiance we are glad to offer you
the following guidance:
"The only circumstances under which parental consent for Baha'i
marriage is not required are the following:
1. If the parent is dead.
2. If the parent has absented himself to the degree that he can
adjudged legally dead.
3. If the parent is certified insane and therefore legally
to give consent.
4. If the parent is a Covenant-breaker.
5. It is possible under Baha'i Law, in certain very rare cases,
recognize that a state of disownment exists. All such cases
be referred to the Universal House of Justice.
"The problem therefore is reduced to the simple question of
whether your National Assembly accepts that Miss ...'s father-in-law
elect cannot be traced and therefore may, to your satisfaction, be
presumed to be legally dead. You should of course ascertain that
Miss ... has made every effort possible to trace her fiance's
(From a letter of the Universal House of Justice to the
Spiritual Assembly of Alaska, May 30, 1971; Lights of
Guidance, Pages: 372-373)
You should bring this to the attention of an Auxiliary Board Member or
the NSA, or even the Universal House of Justice. It isn't right to
deprive you of your voting rights if what you say is true.
My love and prayers are with you, I sincerely hope that you can turn
this around and become spiritually stronger for the efforts you make.
Virtually most all the truth was already in my heart prior to studing the
faith. So most was not new and that which was new made sense so I absorbed
it easily, as if I it was always there but unseen by myself. What was really
exciting was that it seemed they were others in this world with whom I could
share this with, an extended family that understood me and I them. I will as
I always have attempt to live a life that is healthy to me and to others.
Being quick to apologize if I err.
I have much growth ahead of me.