Sin-covering eye
Suzanne
I have been puzzling about what it means to have a sin-covering eye.
There are many admonitions from 'Abdu'l-Baha and Baha'u'llah which
say, essentially, that we should look on others with a "sin-covering
eye". It says in Baha'u'llah and the New Era by Esslemont that:
"'Abdu'l-Bahá tells us: --
To be silent concerning the faults of others, to pray for
them, and to help them, through kindness, to correct
their faults.
To look always at the good and not at the bad. If a
man has ten good qualities and one bad one, to look at the
ten and forget the one; and if a man has ten bad qualities
and one good one, to look at the one and forget the ten.
Never to allow ourselves to speak one unkind word
about another, even though that other be our enemy." (p. 82)
And yet, at the same time, it says in a prayer from 'Abdu'l-Baha:
"Call Thou to life those who dwell in their
tombs, warn Thou the prideful, make happiness world-wide..."
(`Abdu'l-Baha: Selections ... `Abdu'l-Baha, Page: 254)
How are you supposed to be silent about the faults of others and not
notice them, and, at the same time, "warn the prideful"? If we're
only noticing the good in others, how do we even see that they *are*
prideful?
Any thoughts?
Best wishes,
Suzanne
Douglas McAdam
This is indeed a puzzling issue demanding deep thought and consultation.
First let me once again recall a real life situation between one of my
daughters and my wife and I. We used a process that I had developed
in business mgmt and staff training by incorporating Bahai teachings
in dealing with problems in the staff. We sat the family down and
discussed behaviors that we felt were in keeping with Baha'i
teachings. We made a list of family rules and discussed and decided
upon punishment and reward for behaviors. When a child disobeyed we
would sit them down and let them know it was not the proper behavior
and we would say, "You chose to disobey so what is the punishment we
agreed upon?" and they would recall the punishment. We do this to
show that it was their decision not ours. I did the same thing in
business with an employee who had three strikes and chose to leave our
employ.
However one of my daughters became habitually disobedient in her early
teen years and one day, when banished to her room and no tv as
punishment she said we did not love her and we had to explain we loved
her but not her behavior. In other words we must separate behavior
from the reality of the individual soul.
So to me a sin covering eye is one that sees the sin but does not let
that determine how we love another soul.
In the program I use in our SED project which was directly derived
from the Writings, we show how our human faults or sins are the result
of not acquiring a virtue and so if we are aware of a sin or fault in
ourselves or another that is an opportunity to acquire a virtue. We
show how it is important to give praise to the Source for this
opportunity. In the case of seeing a fault in others we show how this
is telling us what virtue they lack and so we must find a way to get
this across to them without making a judgement. It might call for
writing down a virtue needed in a manner they can easily see, or it
might be we notice them exhibit such a virtue and then we offer them
praise for exemplary behavior, there are many ways in which we can
mention or bring to their attention the needed virtue but if we accuse
them of doing wrong we only invite an ego problem. Here is a brief
excerpt from a deepening program I have that talks about communication .
1
SUBJECT MATTER OF COMMUNICATIONS
Communication involves both what we
know and how we feel. And what we communicate
shows what is important to us in the light of what
we know and feel. So I can learn much about my
own level of development and living, and how I
relate to the rest of the world by studying my own
communicating. First of all, what do I
communicate about?
As a material being, or when my animal
nature speaks, I communicate about MATTER, the
things I must deal with.
As a human creature or when my human
nature speaks, I communicate about WHAT
MATTERS TO ME - things, situations and people
that I must deal with.
As a part of mankind, to the foregoing I
must add WHAT MATTERS TO THE OTHER
FELLOW things, situations and people that he
must deal with.
But as a soul, or when my divine nature
speaks, I communicate about WHAT REALLY
MATTERS - that is, things, situations and people
as they are in reality or in the light of God's
purpose for man
How do I divide my communicating
between these four subjects?
THE SPIRIT BEHIND MY
COMMUNICATING
We communicate differently in different
kinds of relationships, and according to what
nature speaks, and this means whether my human
or divine nature is communicating, since the animal
nature is aware only of things and the people I
communicate with are not things. Here are the
alternatives.
In a GREATER > LESSER relationship,
when (1) I consider myself greater than the other
fellow: my communicating either expresses his
inferiority or my own love and concern for him as
his protector and helper; it aims to instruct or
enlighten him, either arrogantly or with patient love;
it either assumes that he will serve me or tries to
find ways in which I can help him But when (2) I
consider the other fellow greater than myself: my
communicating it aims either to win his approval,
favor or love, or to express my admiration or love;
it either resents, ignores and rejects his advice,
instruction or opinions, or accepts these gladly
when given; it either resents and refuses requests
for my help, or-seeks ways to serve him and
expresses my willingness and pleasure when I am
asked.
In an EQUALITY relationship, when (1)
the other fellow assumes a superiority over me my
communicating expresses either hostility ad
negative emotion, or toleration, compassion and
forgiveness of his error; it either resentfully rejects
or lovingly ignore his commands and instructions
that are unreasonable; it communicates either an
annoyed rejection or willing compliance when he
expects me to serve him - the latter either because I
know all people should help each other because I
desire to fulfill my God-given station of servitude.
Or when (2) I know that the other fellow feels
inferior to me: my communicating indicates either a
taking advantage of his regard for me, or a special
effort to express affection and love for him; it
either instructs and "tells" him, or consciously
avoids trying to "teach" him except as he asks my
advice or help; it either asks him to serve me, or
seeks ways to serve him. But when (3) the
relationship is mutually recognized a one Of
EQUALITY: my communicating continually either
liking or love; it presents my thought and ideas
either to make them convincing (with argument if
necessary), or merely for consideration or as
possible enlightenment (WITHOUT argument); it
either suggests cooperation and an exchange of
help, or it seeks ways of serving him and expresses
delight in doing so.
SHALL WE TELL PEOPLE THEIR FAULTS?
We think, "If he realized how much he
hurts me, he wouldn't do it." Or we say, "If she
only knew that she is this way, she would change "
But is this true?
Faults or undeveloped virtues that produce
character deficiencies are part of the person. There
is only one thing that CAN correct them: spiritual
growth W/G p 52(a,e); W/G p 54(u,ee,ff); p 55(jj);
p.56(pp) And the growth of a soul is a matter
between himself and God W/G p 56(qq-ww) There
is just one thing I can do to help the other fellow to
grow: I can LOVE him, backing my love with
prayer. W/G p 75(q-v)
When I tell a person his faults, do I lift him up to
those heights of spiritual power where he can be
changed? It is far more likely that I will cast him
down into some negative state of mind where he
has NO ACCESS to his own latent divinity intoexpresses
my willingness and pleasure when I am
asked.
In an EQUALITY relationship, when (1)
the other fellow assumes a superiority over me my
communicating expresses either hostility ad
negative emotion, or toleration, compassion and
forgiveness of his error; it either resentfully rejects
or lovingly ignore his commands and instructions
that are unreasonable; it communicates either an
annoyed rejection or willing compliance when he
expects me to serve him - the latter either because I
know all people should help each other because I
desire to fulfill my God-given station of servitude.
Or when (2) I know that the other fellow feels
inferior to me: my communicating indicates either a
taking advantage of his regard for me, or a special
effort to express affection and love for him; it
either instructs and "tells" him, or consciously
avoids trying to "teach" him except as he asks my
advice or help; it either asks him to serve me, or
seeks ways to serve him. But when (3) the
relationship is mutually recognized a one Of
EQUALITY: my communicating continually either
liking or love; it presents my thought and ideas
either to make them convincing (with argument if
necessary), or merely for consideration or as
possible enlightenment (WITHOUT argument); it
either suggests cooperation and an exchange of
help, or it seeks ways of serving him and expresses
delight in doing so.
SHALL WE TELL PEOPLE THEIR FAULTS?
We think, "If he realized how much he
hurts me, he wouldn't do it." Or we say, "If she
only knew that she is this way, she would change "
But is this true?
Faults or undeveloped virtues that produce
character deficiencies are part of the person. There
is only one thing that CAN correct them: spiritual
growth W/G p 52(a,e); W/G p 54(u,ee,ff); p 55(jj);
p.56(pp) And the growth of a soul is a matter
between himself and God W/G p 56(qq-ww) There
is just one thing I can do to help the other fellow to
grow: I can LOVE him, backing my love with
prayer. W/G p 75(q-v)
When I tell a person his faults, do I lift him up to
those heights of spiritual power where he can be
changed? It is far more likely that I will cast him
down into some negative state of mind where he
has NO ACCESS to his own latent divinity into
Reacting p,7 IV. OUR GREATEST PROBLEM - THE OTHER FELLOW - p.13
anger or frustration, into disappointment and
unhappiness, into remorse or a sense of guilt. A
truly spiritual person knows how to climb out of
these low negative states of mind through prayer
and meditations but most of us are still so human
that we DON'T do so very readily, and in such
human states of emotion our faults grow greater
instead of being overcome.
In short, if I keep telling the other fellow
that he is selfish, he is either going to reject this
attack in anger, or accept it as true and increase his
own sense of inadequacy or inferiority He won't be
any easier to live with. All I do in either case is to
add to his spiritual impotence W/G p 76(bb)
In the spiritual growth that corrects a fault
in the other fellow, some special virtue that
counteracts that deficiency must be brought out.
So what should I do instead of pointing out his
faults? First of all I should pray for his growth -
bring divine power into the situation. Then I should
do all I can to stimulate his spiritual growth, and try
to bring out the virtue that is absent. It has to be
there, latent, because every soul can reflect every
attribute of God. W/G p.33 (i,m) Thus if I am hurt
because my friend shows me a lack of
consideration, I should watch for a situation where
he DOES show consideration to someone, and
praise him for it I might say how lovable that trait
makes him seem! This might be an impetus to his
trying to be more considerate in the future. But let
me not spoil the effect of this effort by saying, "1
just wish you would show me that much
consideration"' For that kind of comment
expresses an entirely different nature from the one
that is only concerned with helping my friend.
Concentrating, thinking and communicating about
evil only increases it. It is the natural human thing
to do. W/G p.103 (s) l must work to overcome it,
call on the power of God to eliminate the habit.
The love of God is what can change my bad habits
and MAKE me control the natural tendency to find
fault. W/G p.81(g-i) And too, who am I, with all of
my faults to be self-righteously condemning the
other fellow for some imperfection that he has not
yet corrected? W/G p.104 (y,cc,ee);105 (e,f)
God bless,
doug
Maureen McCarthy
"If a community values its children, it must cherish their parents." - Dr. John Bowlby
"For this reason must all human beings powerfully sustain one another…"
The reason is that humanity like a tree and "it is needful for the bough to blossom, and leaf and fruit to flourish, and upon the interconnection of all parts of the world-tree, dependeth the flourishing of leaf and blossom, and the sweetness of the fruit.."
- Writings of the Baha’i Faith
> To: bahai...@bcca.org
> From: sb.ge...@ntlworld.com
> Subject: Sin-covering eye
> Date: Mon, 4 Jan 2010 04:52:37 -0800
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Suzanne
Hi Doug,
Thanks for your comments. There was so much in this interesting
posting that's it's difificult to address every point. I would be
happy to see some of these points brought back one by one for
discussion.
You said:
<<In other words we must separate behavior
from the reality of the individual soul.
So to me a sin covering eye is one that sees the sin but does not
let
that determine how we love another soul.>>
I agree. There needs to be a distinction between the soul and the
actions, but also the soul and the personality, imv. The soul is a
person's true reality, their essence. The personality can be
conditioned by experiences in the world and can be quite flawed, but
the soul is eternal and is perfect. If we see them as a soul, then we
can always respect and love that in them. But we are not supposed to
be blind or to accept abuse because this is not good for us but also
for the other person's spiritual development.
''Abdu'l-Baha makes this interesting statement:
"The Kingdom of God is founded upon equity and justice, and also upon
mercy, compassion, and kindness to every living soul. Strive ye then
with all your heart to treat compassionately all humankind - except
for those who have some selfish, private motive, or some disease of
the soul. Kindness cannot be shown the tyrant, the deceiver, or the
thief, because, far from awakening them to the error of their ways, it
maketh them to continue in their perversity as before. No matter how
much kindliness ye may expend upon the liar, he will but lie the more,
for he believeth you to be deceived, while ye understand him but too
well, and only remain silent out of your extreme compassion..."
(`Abdu'l-Baha: Selections ... `Abdu'l-Baha, Page: 158)
So apparently, standing up to someone who has "a selfish private
motive or disease of the soul" and is abusive in some way is in
keeping with what' 'Abdu'l-Baha taught, but it's only in very rare
circumstances, and this needs to be done from the motivation of doing
good; both for the individual and others; and not just because the
person annoys you personally. In other words, it has to come from
one's higher nature; the will to do good and to serve God and the
unity of mankind; and not from one's lower nature.
It seems to me such a tricky thing, because for the one places where
'Abdu'l-Baha says that we can judge and seek to correct other's
faults, there's an avalanche of quotes that say to be long-suffering
and patient, kind and loving, to see the good and not the bad and to
overlook the faults of others.
Thanks for thinking along with me on this.
Suzanne
Douglas McAdam
On Jan 5, 2010, at 2:14 AM, Suzanne wrote:
> It seems to me such a tricky thing, because for the one places where
> 'Abdu'l-Baha says that we can judge and seek to correct other's
> faults, there's an avalanche of quotes that say to be long-suffering
> and patient, kind and loving, to see the good and not the bad and to
> overlook the faults of others.
Hi Suzanne-
I agree that we may need to take each point of my post and discuss
them and so I will simply respond now to the above issue you raised.
But bear with me cause one of my faults is the inability to
encapsulate several concepts because I have what may be called a
"penthouse view" or an "overall view" and often get hung up in
details. I have tried offering simple statements and get arguments
and misunderstandings and yet when I try to show an overall view I
also get the same reactions. So I will tell a story to see if I can
get across the concepts I am thinking about.
Years ago one of my old mentors told me a process she used when
dealing with people who gave her a difficult time. She called it
"spiritual stripping". At the time I was working at a mental health
center in Vermont and experiencing all sorts of tests from other
employees whom to me were acting sometimes as badly as patients when
it came to personal relations and communication. She told me to take
the concepts from the Bab's prayer for protection and imagine I was
encircled by a globe of the White Light of Baha'u'llah (Holy Spirit)
and say that to myself and make it real by asking Him to encircle my
being with it. I did and it really did make a difference. Then she
told me to greet each person who was giving me a problem and notice
something nice about them and say so but don't stop to talk. So I
would see someone and say "Hi Mary, nice hair do" and keep on
walking. I did the same thing each day for a considerable time and
soon I noticed a change in that person and finally we would get to
talking and she was more receptive to concepts I was sharing from the
Writings.
I think she was teaching me how to notice the faults but not let them
determine my own behavior.
regards,
doug
Suzanne
Nice story!
I noticed a change in that person and finally we would get to
> talking and she was more receptive to concepts I was sharing from the
> Writings.
I believe that when you can see the good in another person, they the
best in them tends to come out. I remember a story about 'Abdu'l-Baha
which I think was in Portals to Freedom. Howard Colby Ives asked
'Abdu'l-Baha why it was that everyone who left His presence was
radiant and filled with joy. He said it was because He could see the
face of God in every face. He asked how that was possible, since in
some faces you really can't see that. 'Abdu'l-Baha asked Mr. Ives
what he would do if he received a letter from his beloved which was
yellowed and creased and stained from age and it was difficult to
read. Would you toss it away unread, or would you smoothe out the
wrinkles and strain to read what was written there?
It's a wonderful analogy for how we can see the divine in everyone.
All best wishes,
Suzanne