Since we're posting obscene poems...
Jack Hamilton
The Platonic Blow
Since we're posting obscene poems, I'll repost this one,
rumored to be by W. H. Auden, which hasn't appeared here
in a while.
-----
It was a spring day, a day for a lay, when the air
Smelled like a locker-room, a day to blow or get blown;
Returning from lunch I turned my corner and there
On a near-by stoop I saw him standing alone.
I glanced as I advanced. The clean white T-shirt outlined
A forceful torso; the light-blue denims divulged
Much. I observed the snug curves where they hugged the behind,
I watched the crotch where the cloth intriguingly bulged.
Our eyes met. I felt sick. My knees turned weak.
I couldn't move. I didn't know what to say.
In a blur I heard words, myself like a stranger speak
"Will you come to my room?" Then a husky voice "O.K."
I produced some beer and we talked. Like a little boy
He told me his story. Present address: next door.
Half Polish, half Irish. The youngest. From Illinois.
Profession: mechanic. Name: Bud. Age: twenty-four.
He put down his glass and stretched his bare arms along
The back of my sofa. The afternoon sunlight struck
The blond hairs on the wrist near my head. His chin was strong,
His mouth sucky. I could hardly believe my luck.
And here he was, sitting beside me, legs apart.
I could bear it no longer. I touched the inside of his thigh.
His reply was to move it closer. I trembled, my heart
Thumped and jumped as my fingers went to his fly.
I opened a gap in the flap. I went in there.
I sought for a slit in the gripper shorts that had charge
Of the basket I asked for. I came to warm flesh, then to hair.
I went on. I found what I hoped. I groped. It was large.
He responded to my fondling in a charming, disarming way:
Without a word he unbuckled his belt while I felt,
And lolled back, stretching his legs. His pants fell away.
Carefully drawing it out, I beheld what I held.
The circumcised head was a work of mastercraft
With perfectly bevelled rim, of unusual weight
And the friendliest red. Even relaxed, the shaft
Was of noble dimensions with the wrinlkes that indicate
Singular powers of extension. For a second or two
It lay there inert, then it suddenly stirred in my hand,
Then paused as if frightened or doubtful of what to do,
And then with a violent jerk began to expand.
By soundless bounds it extended and distended, by quick
Great leaps it rose, it flushed, it rushed to its full size,
Nearly nine inches long and three inches thick,
A royal column, ineffably solemn and wise.
I tested its length and strength with a manual squeeze,
I bunched my fingers and twirled them about the knob,
I stroked it from top to bottom. I got on my knees.
I lowered my head. I opened my mouth for the job.
But he pushed me gently away. He bent down. He unlaced
His shoes. He removed his socks. Stood up. Shed
His pants altogether. Muscles in arms and waist
Rippled as he whipped his T-shirt over his head.
I scanned his tan, enjoyed the contrast of brown
Trunk against white shorts taut around small
Hips. With a dig and a wriggle he peeled them down.
I tore off my clothes. He faced me, smiling. I saw all.
The gorgeous organ stood stiffly and straightly out
With a slight flare upwards. At each beat of his heart it threw
An odd little nod my way. From the slot of the spout
Exuded a drop of transparent viscous goo.
The lair of hair was fair, the grove of a young man,
A tangle of curls and whorls, luxuriant but couth.
Except for a spur of golden hairs that fan
To the neat naval, the rest of the belly was smooth.
Well-hung, slung from the fork of the muscular legs,
The firm vase of his sperm like a bulging pear,
Cradling its handsome glands, two herculean eggs,
Swung as he came towards me, shameless, bare.
We aligned mouths. We entwined. All act was clutch,
All fact, contact, the attack and the interlock
Of tongues, the charms of arms. I shook at the touch
Of his fresh flesh, I rocked at the shock of his cock.
Straddling my legs a little I inserted his divine
Person between and closed on it tight as I could.
The upright warmth of his belly lay all along mine.
Nude, glued together, for a minute we stood.
I stroked the lobes of his ears, the back of his head
And the broad shoulders. I took bold hold of the compact
Globes of his bottom. We tottered. He fell on the bed.
Lips parted, eyes closed, he lay there, ripe for the act,
Mad to be had, to be felt and smelled. My lips
Explored the adorable masculine tits. My eyes
Assessed the chest. I caressed the athletic hips
And the slim limbs. I approved the grooves of the thighs.
I hugged, I snugged into an armpit, I sniffed
The subtle whiff of its tuft, I lapped up the taste
Of its hot hollow. My fingers began to drift
On a trek of inspection, a leisurely tour of the waist.
Downward in narrowing circles they playfully strayed,
Encroached on his privates like poachers, approached the prick,
But teasingly swerved, retreated from meeting. It betrayed
Its pleading need by a pretty imploring kick.
"Shall I rim you?" I whispered. He shifted his limbs in assent,
Turned on his side and opened his legs, let me pass
To the dark parts behind. I kissed as I went
The great thick cord that ran back from his balls to his arse.
Prying the buttocks aside, I nosed my way in
Down the shaggy slopes. I came to the puckered goal.
It was quick to my licking. He pressed his crotch to my chin.
His thighs squirmed as my tongue wormed in his hole.
His sensations yearned for consummation. He untucked
His legs and lay panting, hot as a teen-age boy,
Naked, enlarged, charged, aching to get sucked,
Clawing the sheet, all his pores open to joy.
I inspected his erection. I surveyed his parts with a stare
From scrotum level. Sighting along the underside
Of his cock I looked through the forest of pubic hair
To the range of the chest beyond, rising lofty and wide.
I admired the texture, the delicate wrinkles and the neat
Sutures of the capacious bag. I adored the grace
Of the male genitalia. I raised the delicious meat
Up to my mouth, brought the face of its hard-on to my face.
Slipping my lips round the Byzantine dome of the head
With the tip of my tongue I caressed the sensitive groove.
He thrilled to the trill. "That's lovely!" he hoarsely said.
"Go on! Go on!" Very slowly I started to move.
Gently, intently, I slid to the massive base
Of his tower of power, paused there a moment down
In the warm moist thicket, then began to retrace
Inch by inch the smooth way to the throbbing crown.
Indwelling excitements swelled at delights to come
As I descended and ascended those thick distended walls.
I grasped his root between my left forefinger and thumb
And with my right hand tickled his heavy, voluminous balls.
I plunged with a rhythmical lunge, steady and slow,
And at every stroke made a corkscrew roll with my tongue.
His soul reeled in the feeling. He whimpered "Oh!"
As I tongued and squeezed and rolled and tickled and swung.
Then I pressed on the spot where the groin is joined to the cock,
Slipped a finger into his arse and massaged him from inside.
The secret sluices of his juices began to unlock.
He melted into what he felt. "O Jesus!" he cried.
Waves of immeasurable pleasures mounted his member in quick
Spasms. I lay still in the notch of his crotch inhaling his sweat.
His ring convulsed round my finger. Into me, rich and thick,
His hot spunk spouted in gouts, spurted in jet after jet.
-----
--------------------------
Jack Hamilton j...@acm.org
Fred Cherry
From deep in the crypt of St. Giles
Came a scream that was heard round for miles
Why goodness gracious
Has brother Ignatius
Forgotten the rector has piles
*************************************************************************
Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. - Lincoln
John Hein
The Bishop of Central Japan
Used to bugger himself with a fan.
When taxed with his acts
He said, "It contracts
And expands so much more than a man!"
--
[ John Hein GM1YME | Phaggots do it on the phone! ]
[ johnd...@drink.demon.co.uk | Sine Pretio Loquimini Omnibus ]
[ johnd...@cix.compulink.co.uk| ]
[ Telephone: +44 131 558 1279 |http://www.scotsgay.co.uk/people/john.html]
[ TeleFax: +44 131 539 2999 | 39 B5/6 f+ t- w+ d g++ k- s++! r-- p ]
[ Lambda BBS: +44 131 556 6316 | S8/9 b g- l y- z/ n o++ x-- a+ u- v- j++ ]
Conrad Sabatier
I wrote the following limerick many years ago in homage to one of my
bosses:
There once was a fellow named Nick
Who neither was clever nor quick
Although 'twas a shame
He was hardly to blame
For his brain was as small as his dick
:-)
--
Conrad Sabatier |
con...@neosoft.com | Eschew obfuscation.
http://www.neosoft.com/~conrads |
Daria Hughes
What does the phrase "eschew obfuscation" mean?
Meg
Joseph C Fineman
There once were two brothers named Muntz
Who buggered each other at once.
When asked to account
For that intricate mount,
They said, "Arseholes are tighter than cunts".
You can smoke a symbolic cigar,
You can ride in a long, sexy car,
But a phallic church steeple,
To sensible people,
Is stretching the thing rather far.
--
Joe Fineman j...@world.std.com
495 Pleasant St., #1 (617) 324-6899
Malden, MA 02148
Cliff Hammond
Daria Hughes wrote:
> >--
> >Conrad Sabatier |
> >con...@neosoft.com | Eschew obfuscation.
> >http://www.neosoft.com/~conrads |
> >
>
> What does the phrase "eschew obfuscation" mean?
Ha! ROTFLMAO!
Cliff Hammond
Conrad Sabatier wrote:
>
> In article <56tdre$m...@ns.kern.com>, Daria Hughes <meag...@kern.com> wrote:
> >con...@neosoft.com (Conrad Sabatier) wrote:
> >>
> >>--
> >>Conrad Sabatier |
> >>con...@neosoft.com | Eschew obfuscation.
> >>http://www.neosoft.com/~conrads |
> >>
> >
> >
> >What does the phrase "eschew obfuscation" mean?
>
She didn't get the irony. It was too obfuscated.
Cliff Hammond
Joseph C Fineman wrote:
>
> There once were two brothers named Muntz
> Who buggered each other at once.
> When asked to account
> For that intricate mount,
> They said, "Arseholes are tighter than cunts".
>
> You can smoke a symbolic cigar,
> You can ride in a long, sexy car,
> But a phallic church steeple,
> To sensible people,
> Is stretching the thing rather far.
There once was a fag from Magrass
Who had quite an unusual ass.
Not round and pink,
As you probably think.
But had long ears, a tail and ate grass.
Avenging Angel
Daria Hughes <meag...@kern.com> wrote:
>con...@neosoft.com (Conrad Sabatier) wrote:
>>
>>I wrote the following limerick many years ago in homage to one of my
>>bosses:
>>
>>There once was a fellow named Nick
>>Who neither was clever nor quick
>>Although 'twas a shame
>>He was hardly to blame
>>For his brain was as small as his dick
>>
>>:-)
>>
>>--
>Ha! Ha! Ha! Tee-Hee-Hee!
>
Conrad Sabatier
In article <56tdre$m...@ns.kern.com>, Daria Hughes <meag...@kern.com> wrote:
>con...@neosoft.com (Conrad Sabatier) wrote:
>>
Joseph C Fineman
j...@acm.org (Jack Hamilton) writes:
> The Platonic Blow
>Since we're posting obscene poems, I'll repost this one,
>rumored to be by W. H. Auden, which hasn't appeared here
>in a while.
The rumor is correct. Charles Osborn, in _W. H. Auden: The Life of a
Poet_ (Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1979), says:
[Auden had], probably in 1948, written for his own amusement and
the erotic stimulation of his friends a pornographic poem which he
called 'The Platonic Blow'. For years, this circulated in
typescript copies; in March 1965, to Auden's embarrassment, it
appeared without his authorization in a New York little magazine,
_Fuck you: a magazine of the arts_, in which it was described as
having been 'snatched from the notebooks of W. H. Auden'. In public
he usually denied authorship of the poem whenever he was asked about
it, though privately he was quite proud of it, and even wittily
acknowledged the stylistic influence of Charles Williams. (Three
years later, interviewed for the London _Daily Telegraph_ magazine,
Auden admitted he had written the poem and complained that it had
been pirated by a New York press which didn't have the grace to pay
him.) Some weeks after its publication in _Fuck you_, 'The Platonic
Blow' was issued separately in 'a Trade edition' of 300 copies and
'a Rough Trade edition of 5 numbered copies, each with beautiful
slurp drawings by the artist Joe Brainard'....
The poem itself, a not unimpressive example of pornographic art,
was soon pirated by an English publisher, and began to appear in a
number of unauthorized, usually Xeroxed editions, sometimes under
the title, 'The Gobble Poem'....
'A Platonic Blow' was not, of course, Auden's only excursion into
pronographic or erotic verse.... One of Auden's most popular
limericks went thus:
The Bishop elect of Hong Kong
Had a dong that was twelve inches long.
He thought the spectators
Were admiring his gaiters
When he went to the gents'. He was wrong.
Myco
RH>Daria Hughes wrote:
RH>> >--
RH>> >Conrad Sabatier |
RH>> >con...@neosoft.com | Eschew obfuscation.
RH>> >http://www.neosoft.com/~conrads |
RH>> >
RH>>
RH>> What does the phrase "eschew obfuscation" mean?
RH>Ha! ROTFLMAO!
In general, eschew means to avoid. Obfuscation means making things
unclear or confusing.
I think it is a marvelous,self-contained oymoronic statement.
Peter
Robert S. Coren
Well, I've been waiting, but nobody else seems to remember or know the
origin of this gem. It's from Mark Twain's "Fenimore Cooper's Literary
Offenses", a delightful trashing of Cooper's novels. In the course of
this essay, Twain asserts that "there are 19 rules for writing
narrative fiction (some say 22)", and proceeds to cite them. "Eschew
obfuscation" is one of them (in its entirety).
--
-------Robert Coren (co...@spdcc.com)-------------------------
"Don't take life so serious, son -- it ain't nohow permanent."
--Porkypine (Walt Kelly)
Darrin Auxier
There once was a man from Belair
Who was fucking his wife on the stair
When the bannister broke
He redoubled his stroke
And finished the job in mid-air.
There once was a man named Fred
Who found a woman with her legs widely spread
So he got off his rocks
By licking her box
And threw up when he learned she was dead
There once was a girl named Lisa
Whose ass I wanted a piece-a
She got on her knees
Said "do what you please,
I take Mastercard and Visa"
jer...@kenet.ca
> >bosses:
> >
> >There once was a fellow named Nick
> >Who neither was clever nor quick
> >Although 'twas a shame
> >He was hardly to blame
> >For his brain was as small as his dick
> >
> >
> >--
> >Conrad Sabatier |
> >con...@neosoft.com | Eschew obfuscation.
> >http://www.neosoft.com/~conrads |
> >
>
>
Don't recall seeing this one, and I don't know who it originates from
but:
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whos dick was so long, he could suck it.
He said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin,
If my ear was a cunt, I would fuck it.
dion...@infinet.com
jer...@kenet.ca (jer...@kenet.ca) said:
}There once was a man from Nantucket
}Whos dick was so long, he could suck it.
}He said with a grin
}as he wiped off his chin,
}If my ear was a cunt, I would fuck it.
Which just BEGS to be paired with:
There once was a man from Albass
And his balls were made out of brass
He'd clang them together
And play "Stormy Weather"
And lightning would shoot from his ass
--
<a href="http://www.infinet.com/~dionisio">Finger</a> for PGP public key
And the Thought of the Moment (tm) is...
"I HATE MONEY... I simply HATE IT like I have never hated any thing
before. You wait, some day Neutopia will overthrow the money regime. You
won't be calling me a kook then, but a prophetess of an age without money.
-- Doctress Neutopia, July 11, 1994
Graphic Driver
Here's one I thought up:
There once was a fag from Des Moines,
who pranced around wiggling his groin.
He said to his sis,
"There ain't nothin' amiss,
Not like dad in the barn porkin' loin!"
Joseph C Fineman
Darrin Auxier <DSAu...@gnn.com> writes:
>There once was a man from Belair...
>There once was a man named Fred...
>There once was a girl named Lisa...
Not one of these has any motss relevance. This violation will be
recorded on your queer card. Be sure to perform three unspeakable
acts before it comes up for renewal.
Said naughty old Sappho of Greece,
"The one thing I like more than a piece
Is to have my pudenda
Caressed by the end o'
The little pink nose of my niece."
--- Joe Fineman j...@world.std.com
||: Assholes have their uses. :||
Fred Cherry
Mary bought a pair of skates
Upon the ice to frisk
Wasn't she a foolish girl
Her little *
themadmailer
Mike McManus
Fred Cherry wrote:
> Mary bought a pair of skates
> Upon the ice to frisk
> Wasn't she a foolish girl
> Her little *
Uh, "frisk" and "splat" don't rhyme... ;-)
--
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
_/ Mike McManus _/ home: mmcm...@frontiernet.net _/
_/ Rochester, NY _/ work: mcm...@kodak.com _/
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
Joseph C Fineman
Mary had a little watch.
She swallowed it one day.
The doctor gave her laxative
To pass the time away.
Mary took the laxative,
But the time, it would not pass.
So if you want to know the time,
You can look up Mary's aunt, who has a watch too.
*
Of all the fishes in the seas,
The strangest is the bass.
It climbs into the tops of trees
And slides down on its hands & knees
To frolic in the grass.
--- Joe Fineman j...@world.std.com
||: Those of you who think you know it all are a source of :||
||: amusement to those of us who do. :||
Apuleius
jo...@world.std.com (Fred Cherry) wrote to and soc.motss:
== Mary bought a pair of skates
== Upon the ice to frisk
== Wasn't she a foolish girl
== Her little *
==
==
== themadmailer
==
Duhhh, I don't get it.
"A pretty tempting fruit" said Mary,
As she nibbled on a berry.
When she toppled down and died,
Exclaimed the doc who looked inside,
"What poisoned Mary was Fred ______!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The Romans referred to Jesus using "ECCE HOMO", not "ECCE HETERO"
Jesus Christ: first victim of homophobia
Jesus was crucified at the insistence of the world's worst homophobes.
Your thoughts for the day from eea...@mixcom.com
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ElDiablo
In article <32b6efda...@news.alpha.net>,
No.Adve...@Not.In.My.Mailbox (Apuleius) wrote:
> jo...@world.std.com (Fred Cherry) wrote to and soc.motss:
>
> == Mary bought a pair of skates
> == Upon the ice to frisk
> == Wasn't she a foolish girl
> == Her little *
> ==
> ==
> == themadmailer
> ==
>
> Duhhh, I don't get it.
>
> "A pretty tempting fruit" said Mary,
> As she nibbled on a berry.
> When she toppled down and died,
> Exclaimed the doc who looked inside,
> "What poisoned Mary was Fred ______!"
>
Try using the full word "asterisk" in place of the symbol. Perhaps then
you too can appreciate the full humor of the ditty!
>
As to this trailer down below, please refer to the little Latin lesson I
already posted.
-ElDiablo
wesley2
I live at taiwan,GAM
32old 165lbs,I am looking for over 50 old fleshy man to enjoy life .
sex relation of course !
My email is wes...@tpts4.seed.net.tw or win1...@tpts3.seed.net.tw
xamax
why do you want a "fleshy" man; do you plan to eat him?
xamax
Ward Stewart
xamax <lu...@bellsouth.net> wrote:
But -- "of course!"
unk
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Feminism "...encourages women to leave their husbands, kill
their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and
become lesbians."
-- Pat Robertson.