New and improved TwinkCode Version 1.01
Kirk Johanning
T - Type of Twink
1 - Beach Twink - Often sun-bleached blond, usually
well defined.
2 - NuevoWest Twink - He looks western. But he looks
International Male western. Too colorful. Too
sharp. Not nearly weathered enough.
3 - StreetTwink - Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch don't
hold a candle to this Twink. The ultimate in urban
fashion is the characteristic here.
4 - Midwestern Twink - Suffice it to say, he looks like
the boy next door, only much, much better.
5 - GymTwink - A GymTwink can attempt any of the other
styles, but his body is what always grabs attention,
no matter how stylish he is.
6 - EuroTwink - the artsy, all-in-black, pouty
twink in Armani silks.
7 - PreppyTwink - Like GQ, just younger.
8 - AppalachianTwink - looks like younger brother
of Jethro from the _Beverly_Hillbillies_.
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Hair color seems to be a another important factor in whether someone
is a twink. Using "hc" to denote haircolor I have come up with the
following hair color scale:
hc - hair color
9 - BLONDE (must be natural). All hair on body is blonde.
8 - mostly blonde. Most of the hair on body is blonde.
7 - strawberry blonde
6 - bright red
5 - dark red
4 - auburn
3 - light brown
2 - brown
1 - dark brown
0 - black (raven)
If hair is colored the original color should be included in
parentheses, such as: T8(3)
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h - the 'hairlessness' factor (opposite of NBCS "f") refers to
body hair.
h++ SMOOTH body - virtually no hair
h+ little hair
h some hair
(none) average body hair
h- above average body hair
h-- veritable furball (could be considered a bear)
There are four more subclasses:
c - refers to chest
b - refers to butt
l - refers to legs
s - refers to shin (part of leg below the knee)
They are to be used as follows:
if you have a smooth chest, yet hair starting at the
butt and below the code might be "hc++b-",
if you have a smooth chest and butt with moderately
hairy legs it might be "h++l", etc.
If 'hairlessness' is a result of shaving or depilatories
you should first list the current state and then list the
original in parenthesis. For example, if I were to shave
all my hair off it would be "h++(++s)" as I have little body
hair to begin with. Another example might be if I would
normally be shaved smooth but am currently letting what
body hair I have grow then it would be h++s(++).
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a - the airhead factor
a++ The ultimate, brainless twink
a+ above average airhead
(none) average mental activity; may use dictionary
a has brains and may use them occasionally
a- below average, there are significant brainwaves
here
a-- genius (it's amazing but some are actually smart)
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b - bitch factor
b++ attitude from hell; has enough for 20
b+ above average
b has attitude and knows how to use it
(none) attitude at times
b- mostly unpretentious
b-- no attitude, what you see is what you get.
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w - the WHINE factor
w++ Will scream "I'm BOOOORRRRRRED" while you're
still home and just getting dressed
w+ Will state "I'm boooorrrrrred" immediately upon
arrival at destination
w Will whine, even when not needed
(none) Lets his displeasure be known when appropriate
w- Usually silent, but a peep may be heard every
now and then
w-- Strong, silent type
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c - color of crust (tan)
c++ dark brown
c+ a nice golden brown
c the twink has a tan
(none) doesn't get out much
c- fair skin
c-- looks like a ghost
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y - youthful appearance
y++ looks like teen spirit
y+ still gets carded most every time he buys liquor
y looks twentysomething
(none) looks thirtysomething
y- looks like somebody's dad
y-- looks like somebody's grandfather
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e - endowment (for the size queens amongst us)
e++ 8"+
e+ 6.5" - 8"
e 5.5" - 6.5"
(none) neutral
e- do you really want to let people know?
e-- you may not have much but you have guts
This is to be measured with the rules/tape measure on TOP,
from the base to the tip.
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g - gonads (balls)
g++ huge and bursting with cream
g+ large and cream filled
g above average
(none) has two
g- do you really want to let people know?
g-- you may not have much but you have guts
This is an important trait as a twink is supposed to be
"cream filled" and this measures the amount of filling you
might expect to find
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f - flavor of cream
f++ very sweet, almost sickly, could be interchanged
with filling of actual Hostess Twinky (tm)
f+ sweet
f pleasant
(none) unremarkable
f- slightly bitter
f-- Campari(tm) tastes better
This is another important trait, similar to the above, and it
measures the sweetness of the filling.
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t - twink hawk
t++ searches out twinkies when ever possible. Looks
for the most hairless, blonde, tan twink.
t+ really likes twinkies
t would like to meet a twinkie
(none) not a twink hawk
t- doesn't care for twinkies
t-- is offended by them (why are you even here?)
This may be supplemented with the type of twink hunted, such
as "t++(1)".
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k - "the KINKY factor"... for those who dare.
k++ likes just about EVERYTHING... we mean *EVERYTHING*!!!
k+ picks and choose according to likes; willing to
consider new ideas
k open minded. Might choose SOME things on the "menu"
(none) kinky neutral
k- has definite ABSOLUTE dislikes
k-- totally vanilla
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s - "SEX (ok, SLUT) factor
s++ strictly polygamous, prefers very open relationships
ONLY.
s+ will form relationships which are generally open-ended
s neutral wrt to relationships/monogamy.
(none) relationship neutral
s- relationship oriented. Prefers a formal sort of
relationship over playing around, however the
scope of the word relationship is not defined here.
s-- strictly monogamously/relationship oriented. No
outside affairs, or in some cases, sex ONLY in
relationships
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m1 - Muscle definition
m1++ chiseled from marble
m1+ chiseled from oak
m1 chiseled from baswood (but still chiseled)
(none) neutral
m1- chiseled from marshmallow
m1-- chiseled from water
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m2 - Muscle mass
m2++ serious meat on that frame
m2+ more muscular than the average joe
m2 muscles are small, but there
(none) neutral
m2- there *might* be some muscle there...
m2-- wishful thinking will only get you so far
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q - "the Q factor" (defined)
q++ more effeminate than Donna Reed, Florence
Henderson, and RuPaul combined
q+ flaming, often sets off fire alarms.
q somewhat swish
(none) blatantly subtle, a queen if you know what
to look for.
q- "straight-acting"
q-- practically a deacon, probably should BE straight
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ADDITIONAL PUNCTUATION
The following aren't graded, they are just flags attached to the
overall classification:
v for variable, said trait is not very rigid, may
change with time or with individual interaction
? for traits where there is no HARD information
available and the value is completely guessed
: for traits which are observed but uncertain,
eg. a twink who is wearing a lot of clothes, so
you can't be SURE he's an h+, but his forearms
REALLY suggest that he is, hence h+:
! for cases where the trait is as close to a
prototype as possible, or an exemplary case of
a specific trait... eg. the ultimate h++!
() for indicating "cross-overs" or ranges. A twink
who goes from k to k++ depending on the situation
(ie mostly "k") could use k(++)
You can make the punctuation as detailed as desired, although
the best ones to read are the ones which are the most clear and
simple to understand.
Some of this was taken/copied from the NBCS Version 1.09 without
permission (don't know if any is really needed).
Thanks for addition and changes go to (in alphabetical order):
Todd Jonker tjo...@cs.cmu.edu
Matthew Melmon ma...@apple.com
Andy Trembley and...@csd4.csd.uwm.edu
--
__________________
|__________________|
Kirk Johanning |_____\ /_____| The opinions expressed
Hewlett-Packard Company |______\ /______| above are mine and may
Response Center - Atlanta |_______\ /_______| not reflect those of my
k...@hpuerca.atl.hp.com |________\/________| employer or anyone else
|__________________|
TC(v1.01): T4(7v) hc2 h++s(++) a- b- y(+) e+ g+ f+ t++(1-9)! k s- m2 q-
Terry Heatlie - Sun UK - Tech Support
|> This is the long awaited, new and improved TwinkCode (tm) Version 1.01.
|>
[...]
|> -------------------------------------------------------------------------
|>
|> e - endowment (for the size queens amongst us)
|>
|> e++ 8"+
|> e+ 6.5" - 8"
|> e 5.5" - 6.5"
|> (none) neutral
|> e- do you really want to let people know?
|> e-- you may not have much but you have guts
|>
|> This is to be measured with the rules/tape measure on TOP,
|> from the base to the tip.
|>
|> -------------------------------------------------------------------------
|>
Bloody sizeists. Look, some blokes just have small genitals. So what?
Why should anyone be ashamed of it?
Terry: not a twink of any sort, but e-- and proud.
Regards,
Terry Heatlie.
terry....@uk.sun.com (internet). terry....@sun.co.uk (JANET)
Disclaimer: all my own work (except this disclaimer, which I nicked).
*** 2 4 6 8 never too late ***