TwinkCode Version 1.11 (reconciled version)
Kirk Johanning
TwinkCode v1.11
This should be the new, improved, reconciled and approved
twink code.
It applies some minor changes to v1.10alpha and reconciles
difference between v1.10alpha and v1.01 (a similar effort at
combining v1.00 with the comments made).
As before any new material will be marked as:
____
\\// New material (v1.11)
\/
<<<new material here>>>
/\
//\\ end new material
and changed material will also be marked, with smaller triangles
__
\/ changed (v1.11)
I hope this makes review and comment easier.
TwinkCode v1.11
Some people out here aren't satisfied with BearCode or SmurfCode. It
doesn't speak to us. We're twinks, and damn proud of it. While bears live
for hair and smurfs for humor, a twink lives for style. As such, style
factors are the major way of recognizing a twink. Unlike bears and smurfs,
a twink's style can't be rated by degree--to be a twink, one must have a
good sense of style. The ideal twink knows what he can't wear, and how to
wear what he can. The clothes make the twink.
Clothing is not exclusively the determining factor in a twink, though. The
twink's crowning glory is his hair. Long or short, straight or wavy, it
must be perfect. Hell is a lifetime of bad hair.
The main Twink identifier is a 4 part code comprised of:
T - Type of twink
C - Color of Hair
L - Length of Hair
and whether it's (s)traight, (w)avy, or (c)urly
T - Type of twink
1 - BeachTwink: The beach twink is often a sun-
bleached blonde, well tanned, and well defined.
Sub-genres of beach twink are the VBall Twink and
SurferTwink.
2 - NuevoWest Twink: The old west was never quite
like this. Colorful, sharp, and not nearly
weathered enough, if cowboys were fashion slaves,
they'd look like this.
3 - Street Twink: Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch have
nothing on this twink. Urban fashion, be it rap
or grunge, is raised to an art form by this
delicious one.
4 - The All-American Twink: Remember that quarterback
you could never have in high school? This *is*
him. Athletic, active, it's amazing how his hair
stays in place.
5 - EuroTwink: Think of Armani suits. Think of
Italian convertibles. The finest European
designers would love to have him on the runway.
6 - The Twink Next Door: The boy next door never
looked this good (well, mine never did). A
suburban sensibility becomes a showcase for a
gorgeous young guy.
7 - RadicalTwink: This twink marches to the beat of a
different drummer. Possessing a style, while not
necessarily unique, but definitely uncommon, this
twink will go out on a limb to grab your
attention.
8 - GymTwink: The GymTwink may attempt any of the
above styles (and pull them off successfully) but
it's always that drop-dead-gorgeous bod that's
overshadowing everything else. Even in sack cloth
(we're talking *really* radical 7 here) he'd look
incredible. GymTwinks should include what style
they're attempting in their code (i.e. T8(5))
____
\\// New material (v1.11)
\/
9 - AppalachianTwink: This twink is often
mistaken for the younger brother of Jthro
Clampett (_The_Beverly_Hillbillies_). Usually
dressed in overalls and sometimes the above
mentioned sack cloth. Shoes are optional, and
so is the shirt.
/\
//\\ end new material
<<<comments: Perhaps 3 should be broken into grunge and rap
<<<styles. They are entirely different looks, after all
<<<end comments
>>>comment: I think we should but was unable to come up with
>>>appropriate verbage.
Twinks come in all hair colors, natural and unnatural.
C - Color of Hair
0 - black (raven)
1 - dark brown
2 - brown
3 - light brown
4 - auburn
5 - dark red
6 - bright red
7 - strawberry blonde
8 - Blonde. Most of the hair on his body is blonde.
9 - Totally Blonde. Every strand of hair on his body
(by definition must be natural).
X - Other (purple, blue, etc...)
If hair color is assisted, it should list the original color in parentheses
(i.e. CX(7)).
Hair length is important too. Some of us like long hair, some of us like
short hair, some of us like any hair at all as long as it looks good.
L - Length of Hair
0 - Shaved/bald
1 - verrrrry short, buzzed
2 - short enough for a banker, suitable for business
3 - medium length, barely over collar
4 - shoulder length
5 - part-way down the back
6 - *really* long, like down to his butt
The last modifier is waviness of hair, and is designated by letter.
(s)traight
(w)avy
(c)urly
____
\\// New material (v1.11)
\/
If waviness is assisted, it should list the original waviness in parentheses
Such that permed hair might be: c(s)
/\
//\\ end new material
Therefore, I am (using this code system) a:
T7C2L2s
<<<comment: I don't think this is too complicated for twinks.
<<<If there's anything a twink can concentrate on, it's style.
<<<end comments
>>>comment: The last part is done for consistency's sake.
Having covered the major points of description, it's time to get down to the
sordid details. How sordid? You be the judge
h - the 'hairlessness' factor (opposite of NBCS "f") refers
to body hair.
h++ SMOOTH body - virtually no hair
h+ little hair
h some hair
(none) average body hair
h- above average body hair
h-- veritable furball (almost a bear)
(h) can be further refined to cover specific body areas:
hc - chest
hb - butt
hl - legs
hs - shins (part of leg below knee)
__
\/ changed (v1.10a)
These can be used specifically, or to identify an area which
differs from the rest of the body. Therefore, if you're
smooth, except for your legs, you could list h++(hl-). If
your hairlesness is a result of shaving or depilatories, you
should list the original state in parentheses, i.e. h(--)++.
<<<comments: only minor changes here
<<<end comments
>>>comment: approved. retained in (v1.11)
____
\\// New material (v1.10a)
\/
d - Dizzy factor. How much of an airhead is he?
d++ Head in the clouds (or at least somebody's shorts)
d+ present mentally only on special occasions
d not totally dizzy, but noticeably so
(none) sometimes dizzy, about average
d- rarely dizzy
d-- never dizzy, even shows common sense sometimes
/\
//\\ end new material (v1.10a)
<<<comments: this replaces the 'b' code in 1.00. After all, a
<<<twink can (and usually does) have a brain. The important
<<<thing is ignoring its presence. I saw the comment about
<<<switching the 'a' and 'b' codes to 'airhead' and 'bitch'. It
<<<sounds good, but they aren't quite interchangeable. After all,
<<<attitude is more than just bitchiness. It's also self-
<<<importance and pretentiousness. And, amazing as it may seem,
<<<one can be pretentious without being bitchy.
<<<end comments
>>>comment: approved. retained in (v1.11)
a - attitude
a++ attitude from hell; has enough for 20
a+ above average
a has attitude and knows how to use it
(none) attitude at times
a- mostly unpretentious
a-- no attitude, what you see is what you get.
w - the WHINE factor
w++ Will scream "I'm BOOOORRRRRRED" while you're
still home and just getting dressed
w+ Will state "I'm boooorrrrrred" immediately upon
arrival at destination
w Will whine, even when not needed
(none) Lets his displeasure be known when appropriate
w- Usually silent, but a peep may be heard every
now and then
w-- Strong, silent type
c - color of crust (tan)
c++ dark brown
c+ a nice golden brown
c the twink has a tan
(none) doesn't get out much
c- fair skin
c-- looks like a ghost
<<<comments: a, w, and c all taken as read
<<<end comments
y - youthful appearance
y++ looks like teen spirit
y+ still gets carded most every time he buys liquor
y twentysomething
(none) looks like he has been out of college for a while
y- looks like somebody's dad
y-- looks like somebody's grandfather
e - endowment (for the size queens amongst us)
e++ 8"+
e+ 6.5" - 8"
e 5.5" - 6.5"
(none) neutral
e- do you really want to let people know?
e-- you may not have much but you have guts
g - gonads (balls)
g++ huge and bursting with cream
g+ large and cream filled
g above average
(none) average amount of cream
g- a little bit might just go a long way
g-- you may not have much but you have guts
__
\/ minor change in wording (v1.11)
<<<comments: I don't see the point of g, and recommend it's
<<<removal. If you care one way or another, post your comments
<<<*and*why* to the net for discussion
<<<end comments
>>>comment: This is an important trait as a twink is supposed to be
>>> "cream filled" and this measures the amount of filling
>>> you might expect to encounter.
f - flavor of cream
f++ very sweet, almost sickly, could be interchanged
with filling of actual Hostess Twinkie (tm)
f+ sweet
f pleasant
(none) unremarkable
f- slightly bitter
f-- Campari taste better
__
\/ minor change in wording (v1.11)
<<<end comments.
__
\/ changed (v1.10a)
t - twink hawk
t++ searches out twinks when ever possible.
t+ really likes twinkies
t would like to meet a twinkie
(none) not a twink hawk
t- doesn't care for twinkies
t-- is offended by them (why are you even here?)
t++, t+, and t people should list the style types they're
attracted to, i.e. t++(4,5,6,7)
<<<comments: minor addition per discussion with Matt
<<<end comments
>>>comment: approved. retained in (v1.11)
k - "the KINKY factor"... for those who dare.
k++ Will try anything once, usually twice...
k+ pretty adventurous, but moderated
k will consider trying new things
(none) kinky neutral
k- has definite ABSOLUTE dislikes
k-- totally vanilla
s - "SEX (ok, SLUT) factor
s++ strictly polygamous, prefers very open
relationships ONLY.
s+ will form relationships which are generally
open-ended
s neutral wrt to relationships/monogamy.
(none) relationship neutral
s- relationship oriented. Prefers a formal sort of
relationship over playing around, however the
scope of the word relationship is not defined
here.
s-- strictly monogamous/relationship oriented. No
outside affairs, or in some cases, sex ONLY in
relationships
<<<comments: k and s taken directly from NBCS, minor wording
<<<changes
<<<end comments
____
\\// New material (v1.10a)
\/
m - the Muscle factor, divided into definition and mass
m1 - muscle definition.
m1++ chiseled from marble
m1+ chiseled from oak
m1 chiseled from basswood (but still chiseled)
(none) neutral
m1- chiseled from marshmallow
____
\\// New material (v1.11)
\/
m1-- chiseled from water
/\
//\\ end new material (v1.11)
m2 - muscle mass
m2++ serious meat on them bones
m2+ more muscular than the average joe
m2 small muscles, but they're definitely there
(none) neutral
m2- well, if you *really* look hard...
m2-- wishful thinking will only get you so far
/\
//\\ end new material (v1.10a)
>>>comment: approved. retained in (v1.11)
__
\/ changed (v1.10a)
q - "the Q factor" (defined)
q++ more effeminate than Donna Reed, Florence
Henderson, and RuPaul combined
q+ swishes so much they sway
q is a queen
(none) invisible
q- "straight-acting"
q-- probably should BE straight
<<<comments: mostly taken as read, added the none
<<<end comments
>>>comment: approved. retained in (v1.11)
ADDITIONAL PUNCTUATION
The following aren't graded, they are just flags attached to
the overall classification:
v for variable, said trait is not very rigid, may
change with time or with individual interaction
? for traits where there is no HARD information
available and the value is completely guessed
: for traits which are observed but uncertain,
e.g. a twink who is wearing a lot of clothes, so
you can't be SURE he's an h+, but his forearms
REALLY suggest that he is, hence h+
! for cases where the trait is as close to a
prototype as possible, or an exemplary case of
a specific trait... e.g. the ultimate h++!
() for indicating "cross-overs" or ranges. A twink
who goes from k to k++ depending on the situation
(i.e. mostly "k") could use k(++)
You can make the punctuation as detailed as desired,
although the best ones to read are the ones which are the
most clear and simple to understand.
v1.00 draft by...
Kirk Johanning k...@hpuerca.atl.hp.com
v1.01 updated (premature) draft by...
Kirk Johanning k...@hpuerca.atl.hp.com
v1.10 updated by...
Andy Trembley and...@csd4.csd.uwm.edu
v1.11 reconciled version of v1.00, v1.01, and v1.10
Kirk Johanning k...@hpuerca.atl.hp.com
--
__________________
|__________________|
Kirk Johanning |_____\ /_____| The opinions expressed
Hewlett-Packard Company |______\ /______| above are mine and may
Response Center - Atlanta |_______\ /_______| not reflect those of my
k...@hpuerca.atl.hp.com |________\/________| employer or anyone else
|__________________|
TC(v1.11): T6(7v)C2L2c(s) h++(hs) d- a- y(+) e+ g+ f+ t++(1-9) k s- m2 q-
Tim Fogarty
OK, now, is this the final one ? Are you sure ???
Im tired of trying to figure out my code ! (this is me whinning)
--
Tim Fogarty (FOG...@SIR-C.JPL.NASA.GOV)
T8(4,6) C3 L1s h+(-) d- a w c y+ e(+) g+++ t+(8v) k++ s m1+ m2++ q--
Todd Jonker
(rec.. Kirk Joha...@atl.hp.co (13205)
> T - Type of twink
> 1 - BeachTwink: The beach twink is often a sun-
> bleached blonde, well tanned, and well defined.
> Sub-genres of beach twink are the VBall Twink and
> SurferTwink.
> 2 - NuevoWest Twink: The old west was never quite
> like this. Colorful, sharp, and not nearly
> weathered enough, if cowboys were fashion slaves,
> they'd look like this.
> 3 - Street Twink: Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch have
> nothing on this twink. Urban fashion, be it rap
> or grunge, is raised to an art form by this
> delicious one.
>
[ etc. ]
I suggest replacing the numbers here with letters. Reading somebody
else's code and trying to remember what Twink 7 is would be rather
difficult.
Tb == Beach Twink
Ts == Street Twink
etc.
.T.
. . . Todd V. Jonker . . . . . Carnegie Mellon University . . .
. . . tjo...@cs.cmu.edu . . . Information Technology Center . . .
T9!! hcl b-- a+/- w- y e f t+v k+ s+/-v q+/-v [TC v1.0]
Matthew Melmon
We have done our dizzy duty quite well, I think - and have probably
put up enough of a smoke screen to confuse *dem* *bears*.
*X*
T7(5)C5(2)L3s
hl d(++) a++! w(++!/-) y(+) e f t++!(*) k(++) s(++/--) q((++/--)v)