The Olestra Effect
Charlie Fulton
of this charming side effect of that new synthafat Olestra: anal
leakage. Skwirl also read the more vivid phrase "greasy underwear
smears" or something along those lines somewhere. The idea of
fat-free ice cream has its appeal, I suppose, unless the yummiest
part of it (i.e. the fat) slides right through you and dribbles
out uncontrollably no matter how tightly you scrunch up your asshole.
I hope Olestrian products are well-labeled.
--
Charlie Fulton---foultone@mtcc.com---http://www.mtcc.com/~foultone/
"Since the beginning of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun."
Montgomery Burns
Larry Bassel/Barbara Frezza
Aside from its probable aesthetic deficiencies, does anyone know if
the diarrhea that often accompanies Olestra consumption is severe
enough to cause problems for diabetics, persons with hypertension or
those who take other prescription drugs? Any information along these
lines will be appreciated. Thanks.
BArbara
Ned Deily
>Well I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm scared shitless
>of this charming side effect of that new synthafat Olestra: anal
>leakage. Skwirl also read the more vivid phrase "greasy underwear
>smears" or something along those lines somewhere. The idea of
>fat-free ice cream has its appeal, I suppose, unless the yummiest
>part of it (i.e. the fat) slides right through you and dribbles
>out uncontrollably no matter how tightly you scrunch up your asshole.
At last! We anal-retentives get our just desserts.
>I hope Olestrian products are well-labeled.
"Clear plastic fetishists should use this product
only as directed by their partners."
--
Ned Deily,
n...@winternet.com --- []
a flying squirrel
>leakage. Skwirl also read the more vivid phrase "greasy underwear
>smears" or something along those lines somewhere. The idea of
CONSUMER REPORTS, February 1996, p. 6:
"When it passes through the intestines, Olestra acts something like
mineral oil, causing diarrhea, bloating and gas ... some also
discovered an oily stain in their underwear."
--
a flying squirrel skw...@mtcc.com
I like pleasure spiked with pain/music is my aeroplane. -- rhcp
John Whiteside
: Aside from its probable aesthetic deficiencies, does anyone know if
: the diarrhea that often accompanies Olestra consumption is severe
: enough to cause problems for diabetics, persons with hypertension or
: those who take other prescription drugs? Any information along these
: lines will be appreciated. Thanks.
I think its neat-o effect of sucking nutrients out of your body is
reason enough to avoid it.
==================================================
Please note my new email address
==================================================
John Whiteside | South End, Boston, Massachusetts
jo...@shore.net | http://www.shore.net/~johnw/
==================================================
David A. Kaye
" CONSUMER REPORTS, February 1996, p. 6:
" "When it passes through the intestines, Olestra acts something like
" mineral oil, causing diarrhea, bloating and gas ... some also
" discovered an oily stain in their underwear."
It just amazes me why anyone would ingest such stuff. If they don't want
fats in their diets, then don't eat fats. But after all, it's not fats
that cause weight gain, it's calories. Most low-fat products increase
either the salt or the sugar in the product to try to make up for the
loss of fat.
--
(c) 1996 Restaurants sell their old grease
David Kaye to recyclers for use in making soap
Robert Emery Smith
> "When it passes through the intestines, Olestra acts something like
> mineral oil..."
The thought of a
New! and Improved! PRE-LUBED Bottom-Capable Splat
comes to mind... I suppose Olestra, like other oils, attacks latex, though.
ObSkwirl: Olestra SnackWells
Bob, who's still lugging the bloody
National Geographic with the
Squirrel article around with him
Misha MCM
>It just amazes me why anyone would ingest such stuff. If they don't want
>fats in their diets, then don't eat fats. But after all, it's not fats
>that cause weight gain, it's calories. Most low-fat products increase
>either the salt or the sugar in the product to try to make up for the
>loss of fat.
Ah, if it was that simple! Reducing calories is
an onerous process, but it doesn't even _work_!
The human body is much more versatile than
that.
--Misha
"Only .5% of people who lose weight do not
regain it within 2 years." -- _Diets Don't Work_
David Stevenson
>
> But after all, it's not fats
>that cause weight gain, it's calories.
No, DAK, neither fats nor calories cause weight gain:
People cause weight gain.
Steve Dyer
Larry Bassel/Barbara Frezza <lab...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
>Aside from its probable aesthetic deficiencies, does anyone know if
>the diarrhea that often accompanies Olestra consumption is severe
>enough to cause problems for diabetics, persons with hypertension or
>those who take other prescription drugs? Any information along these
>lines will be appreciated. Thanks.
Most people will not experience diarrhea, unless you treat Olestra
like a mineral oil laxative and drink a slug of it at once. *Really*
pigging out on Pringles(tm) with Olestra(tm) could conceivably
cause some degree of discomfort, but then, I'd expect that also
to happen with Pringles manufactured with regular vegetable oil.
The labelling required by the FDA is simply a way for
Procter and Gamble to cover *its* ass, not a notice that
most people will have to cover theirs.
What I want to know is whether Olestra is compatible with
latex condoms... :-) I tend to doubt it. "Not tonight, honey,
I've eaten Cheetos with Olestra."
--
Steve Dyer
dy...@ursa-major.spdcc.com
Arnold Zwicky
modbob suggests that olestra might be a means of pre-lubrication.
i believe that pre-lubrication is a really excellent idea, but
it's much more effective, not to mention less messy, to do
your lubing bottom-up rather than top-down.
zotling of the left coast, skirting some religious issues
in the theory of parsing
Allen E. Briskin
[ . . . ]
>What I want to know is whether Olestra is compatible with
>latex condoms... :-) I tend to doubt it. "Not tonight, honey,
>I've eaten Cheetos with Olestra."
The first snack food endorsed by the religious right.
Allen Briskin
bri...@netcom.com
Charlie Fulton
And guns don't kill people, bullets do.
Chuck "bullet control" Flutton
Jess Anderson
<foul...@mtcc.com> wrote:
>David Stevenson (stev...@netcom.com) wrote:
>: d...@crl.com (David A. Kaye) writes:
>: > But after all, it's not fats
>: >that cause weight gain, it's calories.
>: No, DAK, neither fats nor calories cause weight gain:
>: People cause weight gain.
>And guns don't kill people, bullets do.
No cigar. Bullet just cause holes. It's the bleeding
that kills.
--
Jess's home page URL is http://www-jsbach.macc.wisc.edu/anderson/
Copyright 1995 Jess Anderson. *All rights reserved.* Copying in
whole or in part prohibited except for direct response on Usenet.
--
<> Hero-worship is strongest where there is least regard for
<> freedom.
<> -- Herbert Spencer
--
Opinions expressed herein have no connection with the UW-Madison.
Jess Anderson ande...@doit.wisc.edu
Misha MCM
(Arnold Zwicky) writes:
>it's much more effective, not to mention less messy, to do
>your lubing bottom-up rather than top-down.
Besides, the tops can order the bottoms to do it
that way.
--Misha
Larry Bassel/Barbara Frezza
>
>In article <4fsks8$c...@cloner4.netcom.com>,
>
>The labelling required by the FDA is simply a way for
>Procter and Gamble to cover *its* ass, not a notice that
>most people will have to cover theirs.
>
>latex condoms... :-) I tend to doubt it. "Not tonight, honey,
>I've eaten Cheetos with Olestra."
>
>
>Steve Dyer
>dy...@ursa-major.spdcc.com
Dating questions for the next century: "Do you have any STD's?"; "Have
you tested HIV+?"; "Have you consumed any snack foods in the past 24
hours?"
BArbara
Arne Adolfsen
> Charlie Fulton <foul...@mtcc.com> wrote:
> >leakage. Skwirl also read the more vivid phrase "greasy underwear
> >smears" or something along those lines somewhere. The idea of
> CONSUMER REPORTS, February 1996, p. 6:
> "When it passes through the intestines, Olestra acts something like
> mineral oil, causing diarrhea, bloating and gas ... some also
> discovered an oily stain in their underwear."
As anyone who's ever eaten anything I've prepared would be able
to attest, my cooking motto could very well be "twice the fat and
damn the FDA!" You will never, ever be served anything that could
ever be described as "low fat", let alone "no fat", chez moi. This
is not to say that some folks don't leave my apartment with "an oily
stain in their underwear".
--
-- Arne -------------------------------------------- adol...@mizar.usc.edu --
"In fact, it was my impression that I was not making out as well as most
people because, with characteristic malice, Nature had allowed the actor
Guy Madison to look like Guy Madison and not me." -- Gore Vidal
Ned Deily
>Charlie:
>>David Stevenson:
>>>David Kaye:
>>>>But after all, it's not fats that cause weight gain, it's calories.
>>>No, DAK, neither fats nor calories cause weight gain:
>>>People cause weight gain.
>>And guns don't kill people, bullets do.
>No cigar. Bullet just cause holes. It's the bleeding that kills.
And it's liberals' hearts that bleed.
So, to avoid weight gain, avoid liberal use of fat. QED. DPE.
Larry Bassel/Barbara Frezza
writes:
>Larry Bassel/Barbara Frezza (lab...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
>: Aside from its probable aesthetic deficiencies, does anyone know if
>: the diarrhea that often accompanies Olestra consumption is severe
>: enough to cause problems for diabetics, persons with hypertension or
>: those who take other prescription drugs? Any information along these
>: lines will be appreciated. Thanks.
>
>reason enough to avoid it.
>
Point taken--although manufacturers are <snicker> fortifying all
products that contain this stuff with vitamins. I'm just afraid my
mother will see the words "fat free" on the label and buy the stuff for
my father. It would be nice to scare some dietary sense into her.
Barbara
Jess Anderson
>Jess:
>>Charlie:
>>>David Stevenson:
>>>>David Kaye:
>>>>>But after all, it's not fats that cause weight gain, it's calories.
>>>>No, DAK, neither fats nor calories cause weight gain:
>>>>People cause weight gain.
>>>And guns don't kill people, bullets do.
>>No cigar. Bullet just cause holes. It's the bleeding that kills.
>And it's liberals' hearts that bleed.
Only bleeding-heart liberals. *Real* liberals have no heart.
--
Jess's home page URL is http://www-jsbach.macc.wisc.edu/anderson/
Copyright 1995 Jess Anderson. *All rights reserved.* Copying in
whole or in part prohibited except for direct response on Usenet.
--
<> The bad end unhappily, the good unluckily. That is what
<> tragedy means.
<> -- Tom Stoppard
<> Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
BuggboyDC
MCM) writes:
Or the bottom can order the top to do it for him.
Sean, who was once called an insatiable bottom
Bugg...@aol.com
Helpful Etiquette Hint: You should always deflect your trick's unexpected
requests graciously. For example: "I'm sorry. I'm all out of matches. Do
you like Cool Whip?"
Sean Bugg
David Hunt
><foul...@mtcc.com> wrote:
>>David Stevenson (stev...@netcom.com) wrote:
>>: d...@crl.com (David A. Kaye) writes:
>
>>: No, DAK, neither fats nor calories cause weight gain:
>>: People cause weight gain.
>
>>And guns don't kill people, bullets do.
>
>No cigar. Bullet just cause holes. It's the bleeding
>that kills.
Nope. It's the loss of oxygen to the brain.
David / wondering what Olestra would do if fired from a gun at
close range
--
--------------------------------
David Hunt / hu...@teleport.com
rit...@bbs.cruzio.com
fat-soluble vitamins from your system, resulting in severe malnutrition for
heavy consumers of the stuff, or even light consumers who are very young, very
old, or don't eat much, or have any other nutritional pressures.
But what they haven't done, I am reminded from over the shoulder, is
successfully link the use of olestra to weight loss.
Lucy K
--
"Every message you leave on this answering machine, teaches YOU shaolin kung
fu."
Jess Anderson
David Hunt <hu...@teleport.com> wrote:
>Jess Anderson <ande...@doit.wisc.edu> wrote:
>><foul...@mtcc.com> wrote:
>>>And guns don't kill people, bullets do.
>>No cigar. Bullet just cause holes. It's the bleeding
>>that kills.
>Nope. It's the loss of oxygen to the brain.
Charlie could be right as well, a shotgun to the head
would cause loss of brain, sort of leaving oxygen in
the lurch. It's kind of an extended bullet concept,
which leads to a distended brain concept.
--
Jess's home page URL is http://www-jsbach.macc.wisc.edu/anderson/
Copyright 1995 Jess Anderson. *All rights reserved.* Copying in
whole or in part prohibited except for direct response on Usenet.
--
<> Man is a born child, his power is the power of growth.
<> -- Rabindranath Tagore
Daniel R Benfield
>
>>David Stevenson (stev...@netcom.com) wrote:
>
>>: No, DAK, neither fats nor calories cause weight gain:
>>: People cause weight gain.
>
>
>No cigar. Bullet just cause holes. It's the bleeding
>that kills.
Or is it just a shortcoming in the resiliency of organic matter?
Dan, prime example
--
==========================================================================
| DRBenfield da...@gwis2.circ.gwu.edu |
| Arlington, VA (703) 271-0815 |
==========================================================================
"Here's a song about gentlemen/Who have no swords so with their pens/
They cross out all the nasty words/So children won't be scarred...../
I can see them in their cabinets/Explicating the alphabet/Today they
strike the letter 'L'/Because it happens twice in 'hell'...."
-- "The Hypocrite Song", Billy Z. Duke
david s. broudy
Bassel/Barbara Frezza ) wrote:
- Point taken--although manufacturers are <snicker> fortifying all
- products that contain this stuff with vitamins. I'm just afraid my
- mother will see the words "fat free" on the label and buy the stuff for
- my father. It would be nice to scare some dietary sense into her.
Eh, Olestra-soaked stuff will appeal to the people who think inhaling a
box of Snackwell's Mr Fudgy Triple-Squishy Chocu-Lumps is somehow
nutritious because it's fat-free... the trick is to not eat garbage like
that in the first place.
I don't wanna run the risk of "anal leakage" and walking around with an
oil stain on the butt of my jeans. Depending on my mood at the time, it'd
be false advertising =:O
* http://www-bcf.usc.edu/~broudy/ *
[ C E N S O R E D ]
Michael Palmer
n...@subzero.winternet.com (Ned Deily) wrote:
>Jess:
>>Charlie:
>>>David Stevenson:
>>>>David Kaye:
>>>>>But after all, it's not fats that cause weight gain, it's calories.
>>>>No, DAK, neither fats nor calories cause weight gain:
>>>>People cause weight gain.
>>>And guns don't kill people, bullets do.
>>No cigar. Bullet just cause holes. It's the bleeding that kills.
>And it's liberals' hearts that bleed.
Does this mean that conservatives won't die if you shoot them?
Michael, with a long list of conservatives he wants to see in the
experiment control group
--
Michael Palmer
Claremont, California
mpa...@netcom.com
Michael Palmer
ande...@macc.wisc.edu (Jess Anderson) wrote:
>Ned:
>>Jess:
>>>Charlie:
>>>>David Stevenson:
>>>>>David Kaye:
>>>>>>But after all, it's not fats that cause weight gain, it's calories.
>>>>>No, DAK, neither fats nor calories cause weight gain:
>>>>>People cause weight gain.
>>>>And guns don't kill people, bullets do.
>>>No cigar. Bullet just cause holes. It's the bleeding that kills.
>>And it's liberals' hearts that bleed.
>Only bleeding-heart liberals. *Real* liberals have no heart.
Ach, Jess, Du Schmeichler, what a *sweet* thing to say!
Michael, heartless liberal (now stuck with an earworm from "Iolanthe")
Ned Deily
>David / wondering what Olestra would do if fired from a gun at
> close range
Splat.
Jess Anderson
Ned Deily <n...@subzero.winternet.com> wrote:
>David Hunt:
>>David / wondering what Olestra would do if fired from a gun at
>> close range
>Splat.
Damn! Wish I'd said that!
--
Jess's home page URL is http://www-jsbach.macc.wisc.edu/anderson/
Copyright 1995 Jess Anderson. *All rights reserved.* Copying in
whole or in part prohibited except for direct response on Usenet.
--
<> Now that it is increasingly clear that HIV can be
<> transmitted to heterosexuals ... the self-righteous must
<> find another reason for gay-bashing.
<> -- Bishop Desmond Tutu
Richard Ottolini
such as cramps or involunatary excretion of the olestra.
This probably is comparable to those who get a buzz or headache from saccharin
or nutrasweet etc.
Ned Deily
>Ned:
>>David Hunt:
>>>David / wondering what Olestra would do if fired from a gun at
>>> close range
>>Splat.
>Damn! Wish I'd said that!
I think von Hofmannsthal said it first.
--Aganednon
Ned Deily
>Ned:
>>Jess:
>>>Charlie:
>>>>David Stevenson:
>>>>>David Kaye:
>>>>>>But after all, it's not fats that cause weight gain, it's calories.
>>>>>No, DAK, neither fats nor calories cause weight gain:
>>>>>People cause weight gain.
>>>>And guns don't kill people, bullets do.
>>>No cigar. Bullet just cause holes. It's the bleeding that kills.
>>And it's liberals' hearts that bleed.
There are some whose name I'd take in vain
and some whose hand's worth nibbling,
but I'll pass on taking the bullet in vein
and, if the hand feeds, hell, whose quibbling?
>Michael, with a long list of conservatives he wants to see in the
> experiment control group
--E.D., keeping his shoes away from the tellys lest he feel compelled to
throw one (a shoe, that is) at one (a telly) during a Patty B
speech like one (E.D.) did four years ago during the GOP convention