Muffin-No-More!!!
Ken Dykes
>YIKES! My first posting to Soc.Motts. Funny, I wasn't this nervous when
^^^^ and juicy group this is!
Welcome to the group from another at the university of waterloo.
-ken
--
- Ken Dykes, Software Development Group, UofWaterloo, Canada [43.47N 80.52W]
kgd...@watmath.waterloo.edu [129.97.128.1] watmath!kgdykes
postm...@watbun.waterloo.edu B8 s+ f+ m t w e r p
Brad Crafton
Damn, TWO mistakes! A typo, I swear. I DO know better. ( Now I'm
going to get a zillion e-mail messages explaining what Motss means.
I already know, but I still wouldn't mind the E-mail :-) )
With a corrected signature, I'm still
Brad
###########################################################################
# #
# Brad Crafton Through lonely nights #
# bdcr...@dahlia.waterloo.edu I dream of you #
# 2A Actuarial Science A lover though a friend would do #
# University of Waterloo I'd find him if I had the time #
# Waterloo, Ontario Precious time #
# Joe Jackson -- Precious Time #
###########################################################################
Righteous Babe
|> YIKES! ... nice ... s**tless ... special friends ... Insert syrupy
|> violin music here ... SOOO good ... Actuarial Science ...
|> A typo, I swear ... a zillion ... greatest musician of out time ...
|> Any other HUGE Joe Jackson fans out there? ... REALLY upset
Like, are we related? I mean, like, I couldn't help noticing that
you like, well, you know... Like, you really shouldn't be shy about
using massive *stars*, OK?
Seriously though, like have you noticed any like *blue*plastic*
attaching itself to your *cute*little*body*?
A *very*cute*kiss* from your *favorite*valley*smurf* (oh no, you have
*blue*lipstick* on your *collar* now),
Righteous Babe 12 Foster Court NY (914) 784-7861
dgr...@cs.ucla.edu Croton-on-Hudson, NY 10520 CA (213) 825-2266
B0 f-- t+ w-- k m- h-(0) r++ p+ q
S6 b++ n- o a l++ v++ j
Tom Chatt
>
>occasion in life that most of us have had to face: Telling The Parents.
>I'm 20 years old, relatively closetted (up until last month only one
>other person knew that I was gay), and sick of playing my parents'
>little charade. Every couple of weeks, the same question would
>pop up: "When are you bringing home a nice Jewish girl"? For years I
>had wanted to tell them that the chances of the person I bring home
>being nice are 100%, being Jewish maybe about 50%, and being a girl, 0%.
>But, alas, I never had the courage to say it.
>
>By the way, in case you're curious, my mother is in an emotional
>shambles over the news. I guess that is to be expected, considering
>that I only told her two days ago. All weekend, her main argument
>was "You just haven't found the right girl". Sorry Mom, but it
>just doesn't work that way. The rest of the family, luckily, took
>it o.k. They were surprised, but they realized that it is just
>something that just "is", and that I have no choice but to live
>my life this way.
Congratulations on coming out to your parents! I know that it
can be extremely awkward, but in most cases, well worth the
effort of letting yourself out.
I was responding in particular to your mother's argument:
"You just haven't found the right girl." I have heard that
from various sources, and my favorite response (me being left-handed) is:
"Gee, maybe one day I'll find the right utensil and suddenly
become right-handed."
This is, of course, an inappropriately flip thing to say to
your mother at this time, but I find the analogy of my left-handedness
very useful to illustrate such points to straight people.
I am left-handed: it's not good or bad, it's just different.
We lefties are a minority, and though the world knows we exist,
they hardly ever take us into consideration. It's hard to say
whether I am left-handed because of genetics or because of how
I was raised -- and it doesn't really matter.
When discussing things with straight people, I always search for
analogies that put a familiar perspective on a subject which
is very alien and misunderstood by them. Your family probably wants
to be sympathetic, but the whole idea is likely to be very
far-removed from their own experiences, and they probably have
a lot of wrong ideas about it.
You have shattered your family's idea of who you are, and you need
to help them put the pieces back together. (Remember how you felt
when you first figured it out!) Be firm about who you are (i.e.,
gently squelch the "it's just a phase" hopes), but reassure them
that while there is part of you they did not know, you are really
the same person they have always known and loved, and the qualities
that they value in you (e.g., your integrity, your sensitivity, your
self-confidence, your goals) are still in tact.
What are your feelings about relationships? What are your goals,
hopes, and dreams? Discussions about these things can often help
your family to integrate the "you they know" with this sudden stranger.
Good luck. Be patient (remember how long it took you to come to grips
with yourself). Gently help your family learn to know *you*, and look
forward to the day when your Mom asks, "So when are you bringing home
a nice Jewish boy?"
P.s. I'm a nice Jewish boy. ;-)
--
Tom Chatt \ Don't take offense, take action.
Internet: tom%fl...@uunet.uu.net \ Speak up. When we remain silent,
UUCP: ...!uunet!flood!tom / \ we oppress ourselves.
Jeff Dauber
>
I am still an amiga muffin. Sigh... life is so terrifying...
>other person knew that I was gay), and sick of playing my parents'
>little charade. Every couple of weeks, the same question would
>pop up: "When are you bringing home a nice Jewish girl"? For years I
>had wanted to tell them that the chances of the person I bring home
>being nice are 100%, being Jewish maybe about 50%, and being a girl, 0%.
I came out to my parents for a similar reason. for me it was 0% chance of girl,
25% chance of Jewish and maybe 50% chance of being nice (by my parents
description). Given, my parents had given up on the "nice" a long time ago, as
they had done with the Jewish before that. Now they have given away "girl".
>
>My courage to tell them that I was gay has slowly grown over the last
>6 months. I have all of you to thank for that. Although I was too
It grew slowly.... very slowly... until....
Oh, sorry, this is getting sexual.
>Why am I telling you all this? I dunno. I guess it is just part of
>the coming out process. If I can come out to my parents, I can
>come out to 10,000 strangers, right? I do hope that in the next few
>months, some of you won't be strangers anymore. I look forward to
>being an active participant (is that the right word?) in Soc.Motss.
With all the recipes, I thought it was active ingredient, but I could be wrong.
Congratulations...
>I think maybe I'm rambling (but it feel SOOO good after 20 years of
>silence on the topic to finally have the freedom to ramble!)
Ramble away. That way, when you see someone else doing the same thing in a year
or so, you too can post meaningless and sarcastic follow ups like this. :-)
>may have more in common than you thought. For that matter, even if
>you don't know me, send me e-mail! Nothing better than a few extra
>Net-friends to ramble to.
How about publicly saying, "dude, like a real mom and dad" (said with a
california accent). I'm not sure what it means, but it sounds good.
Fer shur....
Jeff
-FWA
Jeff Putnam
>Righteous Babe 12 Foster Court NY (914) 784-7861
>dgr...@cs.ucla.edu Croton-on-Hudson, NY 10520 CA (213) 825-2266
>B0 f-- t+ w-- k m- h-(0) r++ p+ q
r++!? (thats about the only bear code I consistently remember).
Maybe its time to revive the camp.con...
>S6 b++ n- o a l++ v++ j
Ok, Ok, wheres my magic decoder ring for the smurf code? Or do I just
invent one?
Lets see: b++ must be the blue scale.
n- niceness (and I thought Dan was n++)
o outness (not o++?)
a agreeable (a had me stumped for a while, I got things
like acid, acerbic, adversarial, argumentative, but those
are not smurfesque)
l++ likeable (naturally)
v++ valiant (I got stumped on this one too. The _only_ word
I could come up with was virgin and not only did i doubt
it, I didnt see the difference between v, v+, and v++.
Oh, I did just come up with voracious (sp?), but that
still doesnt seem smurfy enough)
j jejune? (we are stretching it!)
Can anyone enlighten me?
--
je...@jupiter.nmt.edu -- Jeff Putnam, New Mexico Tech, Socorro, NM
Roger B.A. Klorese
>Good luck. Be patient (remember how long it took you to come to grips
>with yourself). Gently help your family learn to know *you*, and look
>forward to the day when your Mom asks, "So when are you bringing home
>a nice Jewish boy?"
Back in nineteen-mumbledy-mumble, about two years after coming out to my
mother, I told her about my then-boyfriend of two or three months, Charlie
(who some of you may remember as "the actor": if I never hear another
performance of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" my life would
be fine; then again, we were watching "Funny About Love" the other night
and I saw the Royale Theatre marquee and said, "Hey, I've gotten laid in
the dressing room there lotsa times"... but I digress). Mom said, "Oh, you
mean... he's... Puerto Rican?!" I said, "Ma, you made it so well through the
"he" part, we're going to give you extra credit for the rest." *Sigh*
--
ROGER B.A. KLORESE MIPS Computer Systems, Inc.
MS 6-05 930 DeGuigne Dr. Sunnyvale, CA 94086 +1 408 524-7421
rog...@mips.COM {ames,decwrl,pyramid}!mips!rogerk "I'm the NLA"
"Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself." --Rita Mae Brown
Dan R. Greening
interested.
SMURF CODE REMAINS SECRET ... FOR NOW
NEW YORK, September 26 (SP)--
In a recent press conference, Pope Innocenti, spokesperson for the Smurf
Gang, failed to provide details on the meaning of a character sequence
now appearing on various Smurf associated postings. "We have always
classified our members internally," he stated to a packed crowd in the
Leona Helmsley Hotel, "and individual Smurfs may choose to display that
classification for the benefit of other Smurfs." Rumors indicate that
the classification scheme may be released publically within the fiscal
quarter.
The Smurf Gang is an elusive group of highly mobile pundits, often
viewed as *extra*sweet* or *cute*. Critics have argued that they are
"Too Blue", but Innocenti claims otherwise. "We have many members,
with widely different attributes. Just because we're blue doesn't
mean we're not obnoxious," he said not undoublenegatively.
The first public display of the so-called Smurfcode resulted in
widespread irritation. One prominent bear screamed "aieeeeeeeeee! :-}}}"
upon discovering the code appended to an otherwise normal follow-up
by Fred Maffray. Desperately trying to claim superiority, he argued
that his bear rating, an 8, exceeded the mysterious 7 in the follow-up.
However, Smurfs have repeated asserted that they do not compete with
bears, and some Smurfs have come out as avowed bears.
Later uses of the code have resulted in public speculation on its
meaning. When the code "S6 b++ n- o a l++ v++" appeared following
a posting by Righteous Babe, one *cute* person gave a complete breakdown
of the code, including such attributes as "niceness" for "n",
"agreeable" for "a", "likeable" for "l", and "valiant" for "v". However,
Innocenti claims such guessing is doomed to failure. "Sure, we're
blue," he said, "and the 'b' might easily stand for 'blue'. However,
other categories aren't so trivially determined."
Some have suggested that the Bear Code and the rumored Smurf Code are
meant to promote a "false sense of being an outsider." Nothing could
be further from the truth, says Innocenti. "We just wanna have *fun*.
In fact, I can't think of anything more delightful than having
everyone else be *insiders* to the Smurf Gang," he said, clearing his
throat.
In the midst of economic, moral, and encoding uncertainty, however,
one thing is known. The Smurf Gang remains ridiculous, quirky, and,
above all, *cute*.
____
\ / Dan Greening 12 Foster Court NY (914) 784-7861
\/ dgr...@cs.ucla.edu Croton-on-Hudson, NY 10520 CA (213) 825-2266
Rod Williams
>YIKES! My first posting to Soc.Motts. Funny, I wasn't this nervous when
>I first posted to Comp.Sys.Amiga!
What a great day! Two, count 'em, two major muffins fully-cooked on the
same day, with heart-warming tales of their...uh...batterhood besides.
Greetings and keep on rambling!
--
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* Rod Williams * entertain *
* Pacific Bell - San Ramon CA * a thought *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Steve Dyer
>That is what I consider the funny part. I never one day "figured out"
>I was gay. I've ALWAYS known it. I remember knowing in elementary
>school that I was gay. I probably knew that I was gay before I knew
>what sex ment...Are there people out there (I know there are) who have
>ALWAYS known. Who can't remember a time when they thought that they
>weren't gay? I know that I count myself in that group.
That sounds like me. I remember reading my mother's _Good Housekeeping_
as a child sometime in the early 60's--I might have been 8 years old or so.
It had an article called "My Husband is a Homosexual", with a photo of
the pseudonymous author in silhouette together with an editor's note about
the "sensitivity" of this issue. I remember read it and knowing--no, KNOWING--
that that was me.
I related this to Mike Simpson, whom many of you know of or have met,
and he stopped me and told me the exact month and year of the article. :-)
Mike is 4-5 years younger than I am!
--
Steve Dyer
dy...@ursa-major.spdcc.com aka {ima,harvard,rayssd,linus,m2c}!spdcc!dyer
dy...@arktouros.mit.edu, dy...@hstbme.mit.edu
Bob Lodenkamper
That is what I consider the funny part. I never one day "figured out"
I was gay. I've ALWAYS known it. I remember knowing in elementary
school that I was gay. I probably knew that I was gay before I knew
what sex ment.
Ditto. But for too many years I thought that if I did nothing about
it, the "problem" would go away. (Yes, the infinite capacity for
self-delusion strikes again!) So my "coming out" is no uncertain
affair - I know exactly how depressing the alternative is. Damn the
torpedos! Full speed ahead!
- Bob
Owen Rowley
> That sounds like me. I remember reading my mother's _Good Housekeeping_
> as a child sometime in the early 60's--I might have been 8 years old or so.
> It had an article called "My Husband is a Homosexual", with a photo of
> the pseudonymous author in silhouette together with an editor's note about
> the "sensitivity" of this issue. I remember read it and knowing--no, KNOWING-
It must have been a populra issue, I remeber it too!
And I had the same reaction!
> I related this to Mike Simpson, whom many of you know of or have met,
> and he stopped me and told me the exact month and year of the article. :-)
> Mike is 4-5 years younger than I am!
uh .. well..
I think I was about 14 or 15 :-)
Can't tell you the date though..
short term memory is shot ya know!
LUX .. owen
Paul Perrotta
>
>That is what I consider the funny part. I never one day "figured out"
>I was gay. I've ALWAYS known it. I remember knowing in elementary
>school that I was gay. I probably knew that I was gay before I knew
>what sex ment.
>
>when they realise that they are gay. Are there people out there
>(I know there are) who have ALWAYS known. Who can't remember
>a time when they thought that they weren't gay? I know that I
>count myself in that group.
>
My very earliest memories are of being attracted to men...and
of knowing not to say anything about it to someone else. I can't
remember a time when I did not "feel that way." I ALWAYS watched other
men: dad's playboy magazines (men were coincidental, but still), the
lifeguards at the community pool, the older guys in my scout troop,
the men's underwear section of the Sears summer catalogue, etc.
My mom says she always wondered about it when I was growing up. She
just always "knew" that I was different. I can remember listening
to conversations between mom and dad and their friends and family
about it. They all knew I was different in some way, but they
couldn't *quite* put their finger on it. Now WHAT could it have been?
Could it have been my flair for drama? My desire to play with
nonsexist but anatomically correct dolls? My wish for a play oven to
bake cakes? My instinctive knack for matching colors, patterns, and
fabrics? Maybe it was my treasured copy of Time Magazine's immortal
Leonard Matlovich cover story, "I Am a Homosexual." Or perhaps my After Dark
magazines or my carefully hidden Honcho.
Nope. They waited for major clues, instead.
Paul Perrotta
perr...@pyrxbooter.pyramid.com
"Standard disclaimer..."
Ken Dykes
now, what's really *cute* is *Teddy Bear Soup*
how can anyone resist those bearish noodles floating face down in
your bowl...
:-)ken
Jay Schuster
>That is what I consider the funny part. I never one day "figured out"
>I was gay. I've ALWAYS known it. I remember knowing in elementary
>school that I was gay. I probably knew that I was gay before I knew
>what sex ment.
It's that way with a lot of things. There are so many things that
you `discover' that you are into as an adult, that you realize that
you have been into ALL YOUR LIFE that you had just never realized
were options before, or societal/peer stigma was so great, or other
reasons, so that it took you a while to do anything about it.
I had crushes on my fourth grade homeroom (male) teacher, and fellow
schoolmates. Even earlier (I can only think of the place, which
means that I was in kindergarten or first grade) I can remember
being fascinated with men's penises -- wanting to hold them, feel
them (if I had known sucking was an option, I would have wanted
that too). I know that for me, I first saw pierced tits at age
seventeen, and thought ``Those look great! It never occurred to
me before.'' I got my ear pierced for political reasons. I got
my tit pierced because *I always wanted to*. And if you want to
get to acts sexual, I have posted about early torture fantasies
prompted by _Wild Wild West_ and Robert Conrad.
There's a whole array of things you `discover' that when you first
do them, you realize that this is something that you have wanted
for your whole life.
--
Jay Schuster <j...@pcc.COM> uunet!uvm-gen!banzai!jay, attmail!banzai!jay
The People's Computer Company `Revolutionary Programming'
Paddington Bear
|
|now, what's really *cute* is *Teddy Bear Soup*
|how can anyone resist those bearish noodles floating face down in
| your bowl...
|
| :-)ken
Um.....I dunno, ken. I'd rather have them float on their backs.
--
Steve Arrants (And here it is, the enormous night.)
Best path: ...uunet!microsoft!stephena
Blame me, not Microsoft. I work for them, they let me post.
Follow your BLISS and doors open where there were no doors before.