Strangest conversations had while in bed
Mark Morrissey
>
> The two of us got to wondering what
>was the strangest conversation ever held in bed between two lovers
>especially, the non-sexual conversations
Well, now I'm out to the net as a real(tm) geek ;-)
Two conversations come readily to mind:
1. The resurgence of the negative dialectic (Socrates dontcha know)
in modern politics and public debate.
2. The design of an interface for using Excel 4.0 as a front end to the
Lotus Notes distributed database system for the purposes of extrapolating
financial trends (this is an idea for a Comdex demo about computer
supported collaboration (CSC) applications).
--mark
Marianna Max
>In article <1992Jun9.1...@newstand.syr.edu> har...@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Allisson Roome) writes:
>>
>> The two of us got to wondering what
>>was the strangest conversation ever held in bed between two lovers
>>especially, the non-sexual conversations
>
around chicken parts and the disposal there of.
Also
Let's see, how about the theory of the existance of a reflex arc between
nipples and clit?
Also
I still don't really know what a program slice is.
Max
Paul Wallich
> The two of us got to wondering what
>was the strangest conversation ever held in bed between two lovers
>conversation with a lover while they're going down on you about the
>different ways that both of you are independently trying to seduce a
>third party might count).
I suppose working out the adventures of a hypothetical left-handed
four-year-old raised by The Right People is fairly usual. Early on,
though, we did work out pretty much all of the economics footnotes
for an article on John Milton and Isak Dinesen (?).
For how many people are conversations like that an aphrodisiac, so
that even if they don't start in bed, they end or continue there?
paul
Steven Millman
The strangest conversation I ever had in bed was with two female
gender non-specifics and myself over how to get a particular third woman in
there with us. I am a gns male. It consisted of a lot of "we could do THIS,,
and we could try THAT...." We got her in bed with us, too. Later that week.
And in the shower. And on the couch. Heh, heh, heh....
Penguin
Kamal Mortoza
>I was talking to a really good friend the other night and the subject
>of our various sexual quirks came up (strange and perverse things like
>laugh and have semi-serious conversations [how serious can they be
>between gasps, writhings, and moanings?] while in bed with a lover)
>once again in our conversation. The two of us got to wondering what
>was the strangest conversation ever held in bed between two lovers
>especially, the non-sexual conversations (although I suppose having a
>conversation with a lover while they're going down on you about the
>different ways that both of you are independently trying to seduce a
>third party might count). We each, I would imagine, could come up with
>a few of our own (for me - critiquing the work of Ayn Rand is one of
>the more memorable ones) but, we were wondering if all you nice
>net.people had a few of your own that you wouldn't mind sharing. Or
>are we and our respective loves unusual in that we talk in bed?
>Thanks for your time.
>Allisson
the strangest one I had with my wife was about her finding a bunch of
very explicit girly mags under our 14 year olds mattress - took me by
suprise at the time ....
Kamal
>--
>| H. Allisson Roome - har...@rodan.acs.syr.edu
> "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."
> (Anais Nin)
--
=============================================================================
|
Graham Wilson
>
>I was talking to a really good friend the other night and the subject
>of our various sexual quirks came up (strange and perverse things like
>laugh and have semi-serious conversations [how serious can they be
>between gasps, writhings, and moanings?] while in bed with a lover)
>once again in our conversation. The two of us got to wondering what
>was the strangest conversation ever held in bed between two lovers
>especially, the non-sexual conversations (although I suppose having a
>conversation with a lover while they're going down on you about the
>different ways that both of you are independently trying to seduce a
>third party might count). We each, I would imagine, could come up with
>a few of our own (for me - critiquing the work of Ayn Rand is one of
>the more memorable ones) but, we were wondering if all you nice
>net.people had a few of your own that you wouldn't mind sharing. Or
>are we and our respective loves unusual in that we talk in bed?
** How about an argument about whether audio tapes sound better when they
are played with dolby noise reduction on or off. It was a boring argument.
--
****************************************************
* Graham Wilson * lsg...@uk.ac.cov.cck *
* LL.B. Law * Coventry University *
**********Life Sucks - But Death Swallows***********
Kate Atherley
>
>I was talking to a really good friend the other night and the subject
>of our various sexual quirks came up (strange and perverse things like
>especially, the non-sexual conversations (although I suppose having a
>conversation with a lover while they're going down on you about the
>different ways that both of you are independently trying to seduce a
>third party might count). We each, I would imagine, could come up with
>a few of our own (for me - critiquing the work of Ayn Rand is one of
>the more memorable ones) but, we were wondering if all you nice
>net.people had a few of your own that you wouldn't mind sharing. Or
>are we and our respective loves unusual in that we talk in bed?
>
>
>Allisson
>
>
>| H. Allisson Roome - har...@rodan.acs.syr.edu
> "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."
> (Anais Nin)
Allisson,
Last night with my SO it was Chicken Evolution about a month ago
it was two and a half hours of moose puns!
M.B.
Jack Hamilton
>
> The strangest conversation I ever had in bed was with two female
>gender non-specifics and myself over how to get a particular third woman in
I don't know the meaning of this term. Please explain.
It might mean "bisexual", but if so, what's wrong with saying "bisexual"?
--
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack Hamilton j...@netcom.com P. O. Box 281107 SF, CA 94128-1107
the Crisco Kid
>In article <1992Jun9.1...@newstand.syr.edu> har...@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Allisson Roome) writes:
>>was the strangest conversation ever held in bed between two lovers
>
>** How about an argument about whether audio tapes sound better when they
> are played with dolby noise reduction on or off. It was a boring argument.
Depends on whether [pant] they were [faster, faster!] recorded [suck it!]
with [I love it when you do that] Dolby [uhhh... I'mm gonna...] reduction
or [oh yes!] not [uhhhhhhh!], surely?
I think the strangest (or, perhaps, at least the most inappropriate)
conversation I've ever had during sex with anyone was a long discussion
(punctuated by the obvious noises) of analytic means of setting a bound
on the primality of generalised Fibonacci numbers.
mad, bad and (as Ciaran observed) sexomathic
Kay
--
6'2", dark short hair, blue eyes, bisexual and horny as ....
Kay Dekker, Dept of Industrial Design, Coventry Poly, Coventry UK
37 Old Winnings Road, Keresley Village, Coventry |B0 f t+ g++ k++! s+ e r p!
Phone: +44 203 838668 (work) +44 203 337865 (home) |Deflowerer-of-innocents
Graham Wilson
>In article <mp9k...@cck.coventry.ac.uk> lsg...@cck.coventry.ac.uk (Graham Wilson) writes:
>>In article <1992Jun9.1...@newstand.syr.edu> har...@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Allisson Roome) writes:
>>>[cetera desunt] The two of us got to wondering what
>>>was the strangest conversation ever held in bed between two lovers
>>>especially, the non-sexual conversations [...]
>>
>>** How about an argument about whether audio tapes sound better when they
>> are played with dolby noise reduction on or off. It was a boring argument.
>
>Depends on whether [pant] they were [faster, faster!] recorded [suck it!]
>with [I love it when you do that] Dolby [uhhh... I'mm gonna...] reduction
>or [oh yes!] not [uhhhhhhh!], surely?
>
>I think the strangest (or, perhaps, at least the most inappropriate)
>conversation I've ever had during sex with anyone was a long discussion
>(punctuated by the obvious noises) of analytic means of setting a bound
>on the primality of generalised Fibonacci numbers.
** And I thought that everyone in R block was unromantic. My faith has been
restored Kay (B-)
PS - Who was this Fibonatchi chapie ? I didn't know that young Italian
freshers were your cup of tea.
Kathy Beatty
:
: I once had someone write an awk script on my chest during sex.
How did the curly brackets feel?
Kathy
Ed Mahon
This remindes me of a snigglet:
What's the difference between sexual conversations with a lover, a
hooker, and a wife?
A lover says, "Oooo... more, harder, faster...",
a hooker says, "Ya wanna hurry it up, ya only got 5 more minutes...",
and a wife says, "Beige... I think I'll paint it beige..."
No offense folks...
Ed
Jake Coughlin
> Last night with my SO it was Chicken Evolution about a month ago
> it was two and a half hours of moose puns!
you moose be joking!
--
Jason Coughlin ( ja...@ralvmm.vnet.ibm.com )
Queer Without A Cause!
"I find myself suddenly in the world, and I recognize that I have one
right alone: that of demanding human behavior of the other." -- Fanon
dmedal
>
>was the strangest conversation ever held in bed between two lovers
well, my ex and I worked out the terms of our divorce while "in the act".
needless to say, it was an amicable divorce. ;-)
don
Chris McCabe
In article <1992Jun9.1...@newstand.syr.edu> har...@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Allisson Roome) writes:
|> once again in our conversation. The two of us got to wondering what
|> was the strangest conversation ever held in bed between two lovers
|> especially, the non-sexual conversations (although I suppose having a
How about:
"It's sounds like someone is outside the bedroom loading a gun..."
--
Chris McCabe chris_...@mentorg.com
Mentor Graphics Corporation (503) 685-7000
Member of Technical Staff - Core Engineering
John Fereira
I think we have a winner. Why does this whole string remind me of John Cleese
spouting russian in "A Fish Called Wanda"?
--
+============================================================================++
| John Fereira "Is that all you ever think about?" |
| jo...@auspex.com |
+============================================================================++
Jeanette Bradley
>In article <1992Jun9.1...@newstand.syr.edu> har...@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Allisson Roome) writes:
>> The two of us got to wondering what
>>was the strangest conversation ever held in bed between two lovers
>>especially, the non-sexual conversations (although I suppose having a
>>conversation with a lover while they're going down on you about the
>>different ways that both of you are independently trying to seduce a
>>third party might count).
>
"Is this going to ruin our friendship"-- he says as he raises his
head, wiping my sex off
his face
most embarassing conversation;.
whether sociobiology breaks down in the face of the case of homosexuality,
or wheter that presupposes the belief that homosexual behavior is a natural
inherent behavior... which became funnier, becasue we were using quotes of
friends to argure with, friends who happened to live upstair from where we
were lying on our backs and talking at the ceiling. One of these friends
came down, knocked on the door, and then without waiting for a response,
stuck her head in and said 'could you please speaK up a little, jeanette,
so that we can hear what you're saying too?' later, when i apologized and
explained, she said 'oh it's OK, usually we can only hear muffled noises'
most bizarre:
"You know, I've decided that I'm really not physically attracte dto women at
all" (as he rips my clothes off)
other bad things to talk about in bed: oedipal complexes, radical feminism,
the longing to move to alaska, how much more fun you'd be having if you
were stoned, exams, latin poetry (to someone who doesn't know latin),
Russian drinking songs 9to someone who doesn't know Russian), calvinist
theology, and high school. I'm sure I'll find more as time goes by...
--
#####################################################################
# CompuServe: >INTERNET:uunet.UU.NET!ki!jet Jeanette Bradley #
# UUCP : ...!uunet!ki!jet b:O,f+,t,w+,dc,g++,k+,s+,e++,h-r+ #
#####################################################################
Michael Rawdon
>I still don't really know what a program slice is.
Well, you just grab a piece of a program, cut out all the text before it,
and all the text after it, and you've got your program slice...
--
Michael Rawdon
raw...@cabrales.cs.wisc.edu
University of Wisconsin Computer Sciences Department, Madison, WI
"Mother, mother, can't you see something's wrong inside of me?
Every time I try to say the words they don't come out right.
Mother, mother, if you please, life has got me on my knees,
I'm expecting someone's love to come and hit me blindside."
- Men Without Hats
Michael Rawdon
>kath...@cayley.waterloo.edu (Kate Atherley):
>> Last night with my SO it was Chicken Evolution about a month ago
>> it was two and a half hours of moose puns!
>you moose be joking!
Oh, boy. I can see that this is going to be a hit or moose thread.
--
Michael Rawdon
raw...@cabrales.cs.wisc.edu
University of Wisconsin Computer Sciences Department, Madison, WI
RandomSort: It sorts numbers in constant order time, but does not guarantee
correctness.
Steven Millman
>In article <1992Jun10.0...@reed.edu> pen...@reed.edu (Steven Millman) writes:
>>
>> The strangest conversation I ever had in bed was with two female
>>gender non-specifics and myself over how to get a particular third woman in
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
>I don't know the meaning of this term. Please explain.
>
>It might mean "bisexual", but if so, what's wrong with saying "bisexual"?
>
It does mean bisexual. I like this term better because of it indicates a
lack of sexually oriented discrimination in choice of partners as opposed to
the choice of both. I get tired of labelling and the stereotpe that we bi
folk are promiscuous by nature, so when people ask me my orientation I say
gender non-specific to say no orientation at all. I can love anyone.
Gender non-specific is also a bitch to say in casual conversation and
I find that people end up not using any term at all for my sexual desires
which suits me fine in most cases.
Thanks for asking. Smooch.
Penguin
Sean Ahern
Guess it has to involve attempting to sing 'Bohemian Rhapsody'*
in very silly voices and making elephant noises at the same time,
and breaking into convulsions of giggles thereof...
Dont ask why. I'm *still* not sure why...
White Rabbit
*This was pre-Wayne's World, we did it first :) But it made that scene
even funnier... :)
--
* White Rabbit; sharp teeth and claws, long hair, waistcoat *
* and pocketwatch. Sometimes late, and often predatory, *
* particularily if there's Guinness involved. If you see *
* Alice, tell her I was wrong. Feed your head. Hail Eris! *
Jake Coughlin
>
>>you moose be joking!
>
> Oh, boy. I can see that this is going to be a hit or moose thread.
ELK! i don't think this is so mooserable,moosier rawdon.
Ken ``Blackfur'' Jones
>RandomSort: It sorts numbers in constant order time, but does not guarantee
>correctness.
I had a flashback to my college days. One of the interminable
computer science classes. We were being taught various sorting
algorithms, most of which I'd already studied years previous. Being
bored, I and my friends started joking around at the back of the
class about new sorting algorithms.
I invented the random heapsort. The principle is simple. You take
all of the items you want to sort and randomly throw them in a heap.
Then check whether they landed in order. If not, pick them all back
up and toss them into a heap again.
With a little extra research, we determined that rather than being a
N*log(N) or even a N^2 order sort, this algorithm was an N! sort with
no guarantee of termination.
I also invented the random heap search. You've got your list of
items. You pick one at random and check whether or not it's the one
you want. If not, you try again. Keep grabbing elements at random
until you've found the one you want. The wonderful benefit of this
search technique is that the list does not have to be order for the
algorithm to work.
BTW, I no longer program for a living. :-)
- Ken
__________
/\ _______\ ================================================================
\ \ \____ / Ken Jones / "And if I choose to suffer
\ \ \/ / / Silicon Graphics / I wanna suffer real good
\ \/ / / Mt. View, CA / Cause then I know what I've got
\ / / ke...@sgi.com / And if it's worth it or not"
\/_/ / - The Rainbirds
75fu...@cuavax.dnet.cua.edu
> [question about strangest 'during sex' conversations]
OK - at the risk of starting a terrifying new string of postings:
The strangest conversation involved a number of puns on the word "orgasm"
(frighteningly appropriate, n'est-ce pas?). Each of us would try to catch the
other off-guard, thereby sending them into hopeless fits of giggles. Here are a
few of the goofier ones:
sex with a tennis player would result in a "Bjorn Borgasm"
Hamlet and Gertrude had an "Elsinorgasm"
Edgar Allen Poe would have had a "Nevermorgasm"
Mr. Woolworth probably had a "General Storgasm"
Everyone can stop groaning now - I just had to add myself to the list <smile>
Love and many morgasms (sorry)
-Alison, the hopeless punster
************************************************************
* Alison Furlong ---- * "There are many many *
* \bi/ * malls between here *
* 75fu...@cuavax.dnet.cua.edu \/ * and Argentina." *
************************************************************
Dave The Grinch
>was the strangest conversation ever held in bed between two lovers
>especially, the non-sexual conversations
OK, I feel like a bit of an exhibitionist here, but I'm a *bored*
exhibitionist, so here goes:
One night, whilst lying in bed doing my "mean kitty" impersonation --
which parenthetically *must* be seen in person to be appreciated <e-flirt,
e-flirt... :) > -- for my SO, she told me that at such a short distance
(about 3") I looked exactly like the Grinch. Hence the nickname, for those
who actually care to read those headers.
From there, the convo drifted towards how and why the Grinch *stole*
Christmas, and then that Suzy-Lou Who or whatever her name was who caught
the Grinch in the act. BTW, if anyone actually remembers who the Who
was who witnessed the Grinch stealing Christmas, please e-mail...her name
escapes us, and enquiring minds want to know.
I won't bother going into how I got my *other* nickname...
-Daemon
\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /
Dave C.X. Ferguson, B.Sc., M.A.
"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."
-Oscar Wilde
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
Dave Johnson
> I get tired of labelling and the stereotpe that we bi
I know that the definition of promiscuous is 'anyone who's getting
more than me', but isn't this the same guy who was in bed with two
women and discussing how to get a third woman to join them?
Sometimes the damn stereotypes just seem to fit.... ;-)
--
Dave Johnson
"You're not too smart, are you? I like that in a man."
--Kathleen Turner in Body Heat
John Dorrance
>The strangest conversation involved a number of puns on the word "orgasm"
>(frighteningly appropriate, n'est-ce pas?). Each of us would try to catch the
>other off-guard, thereby sending them into hopeless fits of giggles. Here are a
>few of the goofier ones:
>sex with a tennis player would result in a "Bjorn Borgasm"
>Hamlet and Gertrude had an "Elsinorgasm"
>Edgar Allen Poe would have had a "Nevermorgasm"
>Mr. Woolworth probably had a "General Storgasm"
AAAAAAAA!!! Been there, did it, loved it!
Sex in a truck: 4-on-the-floor-gasm
Dull sex: Snore-gasm
Sex with Melinda: Shore-gasm
Sex with Pooh: Eeyore-gasm
Name-brand sex: Christian Dior-gasm
And onandonandonandonandon...
--
John Dorrance ** Disco Diva y Flamenco Chico ** tha...@odin.unomaha.edu
I always thought of you as my brick wall
Built like an angel, six feet tall.
Chris McCabe
In article <1992Jun10...@epas.toronto.edu>, ferg...@epas.utoronto.ca (Dave The Grinch) writes:
|> the Grinch in the act. BTW, if anyone actually remembers who the Who
|> was who witnessed the Grinch stealing Christmas, please e-mail...her name
|> escapes us, and enquiring minds want to know.
Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was barely 2
(That's how I remember it, but could be wrong)
The Grinch is my favorite Christmas show. I get a kick out of all the words
Dr. Seuss makes up so that it rhymes. I also like the song they sing while the
Grinch is stealing Christmas. Listen to it sometime if you haven't already.
-Chris
Allisson Roome
>In <1992Jun10.1...@watson.ibm.com> ja...@ralvmm.vnet.ibm.com (Jake Coughlin) writes:
>>kath...@cayley.waterloo.edu (Kate Atherley):
>>> Last night with my SO it was Chicken Evolution about a month ago
>>> it was two and a half hours of moose puns!
>
>>you moose be joking!
>
>Oh, boy. I can see that this is going to be a hit or moose thread.
True we get to explore all the mooseteries of life in their moosed intimate
detail ... (personally I prefer mousse - because when eating a chocolate
moose the antlers keep getting caught in my teeth) ..
Bobb Samuell
> ... invented the random heap search. You've got your list of
>items. You pick one at random and check whether or not it's the one
>you want. If not, you try again. Keep grabbing elements at random
>until you've found the one you want. The wonderful benefit of this
>search technique is that the list does not have to be order for the
>algorithm to work.
>
>BTW, I no longer program for a living. :-)
Thank God! I know several dozen programmers and system analysts who are
looping in their files right now after hearing about your programming
techniques. :-)))
Gary Schwartz
>>>
> [queries strangest 'during sex' conversations]
>
:):):):):)
gary
--
--
Gary Schwartz ga...@igor.tamri.com
Toshiba America MRI, Inc.
280 Utah Ave phone: (415) 875-3483
Tim Pierce
>I get tired of labelling and the stereotpe that we bi
>folk are promiscuous by nature, so when people ask me my orientation I say
>gender non-specific to say no orientation at all. I can love anyone.
It seems to me that the longer you attempt to find new terms for
bisexuals (insert group of your choice for "bisexuals" here) in order
to escape the stereotypes, all you're doing is implicitly lending the
stereotypes credence. Personally, I prefer to maintain my identity as
"bisexual" and confront the stereotypes or prejudice as they come at
me.
(Not to mention that the term "gender non-specific" is extremely
confusing, and may harm more than help by its obfuscurity.)
> Gender non-specific is also a bitch to say in casual conversation and
>I find that people end up not using any term at all for my sexual desires
>which suits me fine in most cases.
Very sensible.
--
____ Tim Pierce / "Oh, God. My body's making milk. It's like
\ / twpi...@amherst.edu / one day discovering you can get bacon from
\/ (BITnet: TWPIERCE@AMHERST) / your elbow." -- Murphy Brown
Chris McCabe
In article <1992Jun11.1...@news.mentorg.com>, chr...@haida.mentorg.com (Chris McCabe) writes:
|> Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was barely 2
Oops, as was correctly pointed out to me, that should read :
Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was no more than 2
Sorry for the misinformation.
Michael Rawdon
>Michael Rawdon's sig contains:
>>RandomSort: It sorts numbers in constant order time, but does not guarantee
>>correctness.
>I had a flashback to my college days. One of the interminable
>computer science classes. We were being taught various sorting
>algorithms, most of which I'd already studied years previous. Being
>bored, I and my friends started joking around at the back of the
>class about new sorting algorithms.
>I invented the random heapsort. The principle is simple. You take
>all of the items you want to sort and randomly throw them in a heap.
>Then check whether they landed in order. If not, pick them all back
>up and toss them into a heap again.
You're gonna hate this...
From _The_New_Hacker's_Dictionary_, edited by Eric Raymond:
bogo-sort n. (var. stupid-sort) The archetypal perversely awful algorithm
(as opposed to bubble sort, which is merely the generic bad algorithm). Bogo-
sort is equivalent to repeatedly throwing a deck of cards in the air, picking
them up at random, and testing whether they are in order. It serves as a
sort of canonical example of awfulness. Looking at a program and seeing a
dumb algorithm, one might say "Oh, I see, this program uses bogo-sort."
Compare bogus, brute force.
>With a little extra research, we determined that rather than being a
>N*log(N) or even a N^2 order sort, this algorithm was an N! sort with
>no guarantee of termination.
Sounds a little like graduate school.
>I also invented the random heap search. You've got your list of
>items. You pick one at random and check whether or not it's the one
>you want. If not, you try again. Keep grabbing elements at random
>until you've found the one you want. The wonderful benefit of this
>search technique is that the list does not have to be order for the
>algorithm to work.
I'm not sure this is a "heap" search. More like a blob search. :-)
--
Michael Rawdon
raw...@cabrales.cs.wisc.edu
University of Wisconsin Computer Sciences Department, Madison, WI
"I don't want to be a messiah, messiahs die young."
- Men Without Hats
Dave The Grinch
>
>other bad things to talk about in bed: oedipal complexes, radical feminism,
>the longing to move to alaska, how much more fun you'd be having if you
>were stoned, exams, latin poetry (to someone who doesn't know latin),
>Russian drinking songs 9to someone who doesn't know Russian), calvinist
>theology, and high school. I'm sure I'll find more as time goes by...
>
># CompuServe: >INTERNET:uunet.UU.NET!ki!jet Jeanette Bradley #
># UUCP : ...!uunet!ki!jet b:O,f+,t,w+,dc,g++,k+,s+,e++,h-r+ #
>#####################################################################
Had to keep Jet's Bear-ette Code in there, since I worked so hard to
get it posted :)
Just thought of one more bad thing to talk about: how her last
partner couldn't get it up the first time, either.
Daemon -- "Who *pays* for this, anyway?"
--
James R. Turner
>>>In article <1992Jun9.1...@newstand.syr.edu> har...@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Allisson Roome) writes:
>>>>
>> [queries strangest 'during sex' conversations]
>>
>Farting at one another and giggling a bunch. Does that count as conversations?
>:):):):):)
Well, once I saw a *big* *festering* *whithead* on my partner during sex
and squeezed it.
That isn't exacly a conversation, but...
jus' call me Nas :
>.......but, we were wondering if all you nice net.people had a
>few of your own that you wouldn't mind sharing. Or are we and
>our respective loves unusual in that we talk in bed?
...... Lilac. I think I'll paint the ceiling lilac.... ;-)
Nasir.
Larry Margolis
> In article <1992Jun11.0...@spool.cs.wisc.edu> raw...@cabrales.cs.wisc.ed
> >In <1992Jun10.1...@watson.ibm.com> ja...@ralvmm.vnet.ibm.com (Jake Coug
> >>kath...@cayley.waterloo.edu (Kate Atherley):
> >>> Last night with my SO it was Chicken Evolution about a month ago
> >>> it was two and a half hours of moose puns!
> >
> >>you moose be joking!
> >
> >Oh, boy. I can see that this is going to be a hit or moose thread.
>
> True we get to explore all the mooseteries of life in their moosed intimate
> detail ...
Don't all these puns just amount to mental mooseterbation?
> (personally I prefer mousse - because when eating a chocolate
> moose the antlers keep getting caught in my teeth) ..
How can you tell if a guy likes Moosehead?
From the antler-marks on his thighs.
(Shamelessly stolen from rec.humor.funny)
Larry Margolis, MARGOLI@YKTVMV (Bitnet), mar...@watson.IBM.com (Internet)
Brad Shapcott
>Michael Rawdon's sig contains:
>
>>RandomSort: It sorts numbers in constant order time, but does not guarantee
>>correctness.
>
>all of the items you want to sort and randomly throw them in a heap.
>Then check whether they landed in order. If not, pick them all back
>up and toss them into a heap again.
>
>With a little extra research, we determined that rather than being a
>N*log(N) or even a N^2 order sort, this algorithm was an N! sort with
>no guarantee of termination.
I guess this must be the sort of thing that all bored students eventually think
up. A friend and I thought up a contest for "worst sorting algorithms that
are guaranteed to work".
Enumeration Sort was a real contender. Enumerate all combinations of the
list and go though them until one is found in order. Random Shuffle Sort
exchanged two items at random and then checked to see if the list was in
order (an insane Bubble Sort). Of course for random sorts you have to allow
for some statistical probablity that they will terminate (if you can determine
that the chance that the list will end up in sorted order is non-zero, then
this is sufficient -- no matter how small that chance is).
I also came up with the Theory of Elimination, which states:
"Any problem is made easier by the arbitrary elimination of some
number of its elements."
My friend's contribution was to wonder if the Theory could be proved by
arbitrary elimination of some number of its elements, and was therefore
reflexively proven.
This was a reaction to the many times I've had to hear, "How do we eliminate
this term from the equation."
"Well, just cross it out."
"What?"
"Oh, did you want to do it mathematically?"
Gosh, CS lectures really are boring.
>BTW, I no longer program for a living. :-)
Are you sure you didn't have *anything* to do with MS-DOS? :-)
>- Ken
/Brad
Instructor: How do we sort this array?
Me: By putting any number in front of all larger numbers.
Instructor: Huh?
Me: Oh, you wanted an algorithm?
Shawn Hicks
>kath...@cayley.waterloo.edu (Kate Atherley):
>> Last night with my SO it was Chicken Evolution about a month ago
>> it was two and a half hours of moose puns!
>
>you moose be joking!
Try Monty Pythons _The Holy Grail_ for moose puns. The credits are full
of them. "Third moose from top Fred Moose" All these typically
British names float by and then, when you least expect it, a Moose joke.
Despicable!
Of course, there is a slight chance that it *isn't* The Holy Grail, it could
be one of the others... but I'm almost possitive it's The Holy Grail.
Shawn
An Italian four-legged dictator?? Moose-alini. (ouch!)
Aaron Aardvark
> The two of us got to wondering what
>was the strangest conversation ever held in bed between two lovers
>especially, the non-sexual conversations
The strangest conversation I ever had in bed collectively includes all
of the times David's mother called while we were having sex. If you
can believe it, he would answer the telephone and starting talking.
:-(:-(
--
Jim Wood (a.k.a. Aaron Aardvark) [wo...@siemens.siemens.com] (609) 734-3643
"Thelma, don't you litter!"
- Louise, but only after she and Thelma have shot a man, robbed
a store, and locked a cop in his car's trunk.
DONALD L. HARDY
>> >>> it was two and a half hours of moose puns!
>> >
>> >>you moose be joking!
>> >
>>
>> True we get to explore all the mooseteries of life in their moosed intimate
>> detail ...
>
>Don't all these puns just amount to mental mooseterbation?
>
>> (personally I prefer mousse - because when eating a chocolate
>> moose the antlers keep getting caught in my teeth) ..
>
>How can you tell if a guy likes Moosehead?
>
>From the antler-marks on his thighs.
>
>(Shamelessly stolen from rec.humor.funny)
This is moosed distressing. Is there no antlernative to this awful punning?
--
******************************************************************************
Donald L. Hardy Office of Physical Planning
Project Planner Lehigh University
dh...@lehigh.edu (215) 758 5110
david parsons
| The two of us got to wondering what
|was the strangest conversation ever held in bed between two lovers
|... Or
|are we and our respective loves unusual in that we talk in bed?
No, I don't think so. I seem to recall a conversation about menuing
systems being punctuated by sex; and I know I've discussed trains while
in bed (of course, the fellow I was having sex with at the time is also
a trainspotter, so I don't know whether or not that would be a nonsexual
conversation or not ;-)
__
david parsons \/ etcetera
Michael Rawdon
>In article <1992Jun11.1...@newstand.syr.edu> har...@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Allisson Roome) writes:
>>In article <1992Jun11.0...@spool.cs.wisc.edu> raw...@cabrales.cs.wisc.edu writes:
>>>In <1992Jun10.1...@watson.ibm.com> ja...@ralvmm.vnet.ibm.com (Jake Coughlin) writes:
>>>>you moose be joking!
>>>Oh, boy. I can see that this is going to be a hit or moose thread.
>>True we get to explore all the mooseteries of life in their moosed intimate
>>detail ... (personally I prefer mousse - because when eating a chocolate
>>moose the antlers keep getting caught in my teeth) ..
>What the hell is all this? Why don't you idiots take this to email
>and spare us? I have no idea what's going on here.
>Unless I'm just moosing the whole point ... :-)
Well, that is an occupational hazard of MOOSENET...
--
Michael Rawdon
raw...@cabrales.cs.wisc.edu
University of Wisconsin Computer Sciences Department, Madison, WI
"You can lose your head, you can lose your mind, you can lose your way,
Keep your eyes and still be blind."
- Men Without Hats
Jess Anderson
In article <1992Jun12.1...@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu>
dh...@ns1.cc.lehigh.edu (DONALD L. HARDY) writes:
>This is moosed distressing. Is there no antlernative to this awful punning?
I finally have to horn in on this. I'm sure if we all try,
we can wrack our brains and stop all this hoofing and
poofing, moosed of it, anyway.
--
Jess Anderson <> Madison Academic Computing Center <> University of Wisconsin
Internet: ande...@macc.wisc.edu <-best, UUCP:{}!uwvax!macc.wisc.edu!anderson
NeXTmail w/attachments: ande...@yak.macc.wisc.edu Bitnet: anderson@wiscmacc
Room 3130 <> 1210 West Dayton Street / Madison WI 53706 <> Phone 608/262-5888
the Crisco Kid
>I also came up with the Theory of Elimination, which states:
>
> "Any problem is made easier by the arbitrary elimination of some
> number of its elements."
>
>My friend's contribution was to wonder if the Theory could be proved by
>arbitrary elimination of some number of its elements, and was therefore
>reflexively proven.
Evidently. Proceed thus:
apply the Theory of Elimination, giving
"Any problem is made [easier by the arbitrary elimination] of some
[number] of its elements."
where material between []s is to be eliminated. This gives us:
"Any problem is made of some of its elements".
This has two interpretations. Either you can compact a problem by
eliminating the non-problematic (ie, non-essential) components, or
dispose of it by eliminating the problematic components, and
leaving the trivial material as an exercise for the reader... :)
mad, bad, and entirely spurious
Kay
--
6'2", dark short hair, blue eyes, bisexual and horny as ....
Kay Dekker, Dept of Industrial Design, Coventry Poly, Coventry UK
37 Old Winnings Road, Keresley Village, Coventry |B0 f t+ g++ k++! s+ e r p!
Phone: +44 203 838668 (work) +44 203 337865 (home) |Deflowerer-of-innocents
nancy.l.colucci
>
>>Unless I'm just moosing the whole point ... :-)
>Well, that is an occupational hazard of MOOSENET...
And you know you can't leave here. If you decided to hoof it,
you'd moose it too much.
-Nance
Oh Lord, please don't let me be mooseunderstood." -Kinks
--
Recycle. It builds leg mooseles. *!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!* att!ihlpk!colucci
Kathy Beatty
: >> >>> it was two and a half hours of moose puns!
: >> >
: >> >>you moose be joking!
: >> >
: >> >Oh, boy. I can see that this is going to be a hit or moose thread.
: >>
: >> True we get to explore all the mooseteries of life in their moosed intimate
: >> detail ...
: >
: >Don't all these puns just amount to mental mooseterbation?
: >
: >> (personally I prefer mousse - because when eating a chocolate
: >> moose the antlers keep getting caught in my teeth) ..
: >
: >How can you tell if a guy likes Moosehead?
: >
: >From the antler-marks on his thighs.
: >
: >(Shamelessly stolen from rec.humor.funny)
:
: This is moosed distressing. Is there no antlernative to this awful punning?
I almoose agree with you on this, deer. It seems rather rud,olph hand.
Kathy - even though I'm not a farm girl, I do know the difference between
and deer - Beatty
Michael Rawdon
>In article <1992Jun12.1...@spool.cs.wisc.edu> raw...@cabrales.cs.wisc.edu writes:
>>
>>>Unless I'm just moosing the whole point ... :-)
>>Well, that is an occupational hazard of MOOSENET...
>And you know you can't leave here. If you decided to hoof it,
>you'd moose it too much.
Yeah, then I'd have to bleat a retreat back to this mutual moosterbation
society.
>-Nance
>Oh Lord, please don't let me be mooseunderstood." -Kinks
Or even mooseconstrued.
>Recycle. It builds leg mooseles. *!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!* att!ihlpk!colucci
Eating mooselix doesn't hurt, either.
--
Michael Rawdon
raw...@cabrales.cs.wisc.edu
University of Wisconsin Computer Sciences Department, Madison, WI
Is vi a more advanced version of ai?
Richard A. Schumacher
you The Moose Joke. (Told Only Upon Request.)
Nicholas Sturm
In a previous article, j...@netcom.com (Jack Hamilton) says:
>In article <1992Jun10.0...@reed.edu> pen...@reed.edu (Steven Millman) writes:
>>
>> The strangest conversation I ever had in bed was with two female
>>gender non-specifics and myself over how to get a particular third woman in
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
>I don't know the meaning of this term. Please explain.
>
>It might mean "bisexual", but if so, what's wrong with saying "bisexual"?
>
Perhaps it just means they have not yet determined their gender; in that
case they might not yet be homo-, hetero- or bi-. Chaste?
--
If you're sure you are right, ... review your decision tomorrow.
If you're sure you are wrong, ... review your decision today.
If you're not absolutely sure, ... you were probably correct yesterday, today
* aa...@yfn.ysu.edu * and tomorrow.
Scott Henry
>>>>> In article <aqbl...@cck.coventry.ac.uk>, idx...@cck.coventry.ac.uk (the Crisco Kid) writes:
kay> That's because I'm not *in* R block, Graham. If you'd ever taken the
kay> trouble to finger me <oo-er!> you'd have seen that I live in M.002 - the
kay> lower ground floor of the Art Fac. Us LGBfolk are so artistically
kay> inclined, y'know :)
I tried: `finger idx...@cck.coventry.ac.uk`
and got: "unknown host: cck.coventry.ac.uk". oh, well...
kay> I guess this counts as an invite for you to drop by and slaver over my
kay> new Silicon Graphics workstation with the 3D visualisation goggles... :)
Neat! which one did you get? Hmmm, maybe I can get over there: "Hey,
boss, there's this customer in the UK that specifically wants me to
come over and help them with a problem." Nahhh, I don't think they'd
buy it...
kay> mad, bad, and bound above and below...
kay> Kay
kay> --
--
Scotty (.signature under construction.......)
Jack Van Breen x2666 dept220
>
> Gender non-specific is also a bitch to say in casual conversation and
>I find that people end up not using any term at all for my sexual desires
>which suits me fine in most cases.
>
Hmmm at the risk of perhaps instituting YAA (yet another acronym:) How
'bout GNS (as in "I'm GNS":) That actually kinda rolls right off the
tounge (Hnmm, can I be changing as I type:)
--
Jack Van Breen (standard disclaimer, these are my own ...)
Product Support, Wyse Technology, San Jose, CA
...!uunet!wyse!jvb
j...@wyse.com
Gene Ward Smith
(the Crisco Kid) writes:
>I think the strangest (or, perhaps, at least the most inappropriate)
>conversation I've ever had during sex with anyone was a long discussion
>(punctuated by the obvious noises) of analytic means of setting a bound
>on the primality of generalised Fibonacci numbers.
Sounds perfectly reasonable to me, except I wonder about your chances of
proving anything. If you think this is easy, you should look first
at the Fermat primes--they *ought* to be finite in number, but try
proving it with an analytic bound. There is no reason why things
which grow geometrically like recurrence relationships should have
a finite number of primes.
But I've got to stop now--this discussion is making me hot.
--
Gene Ward Smith/Brahms Gang/CICMA/Concordia University
gsm...@cs.concordia.ca
Gene Ward Smith
chr...@haida.mentorg.com (Chris McCabe) writes:
> Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was barely 2
Little Cindy-Lou *Who*, who was not more than two.
I guess they don't teach the classics anymore.
Graham Wilson
>
>>>>>> In article <aqbl...@cck.coventry.ac.uk>, idx...@cck.coventry.ac.uk (the Crisco Kid) writes:
>
>kay> That's because I'm not *in* R block, Graham. If you'd ever taken the
>kay> trouble to finger me <oo-er!> you'd have seen that I live in M.002 - the
>kay> lower ground floor of the Art Fac. Us LGBfolk are so artistically
>kay> inclined, y'know :)
** My apologies Kay if I classed you with all the other loones in R block.
I take everything back (B-)
>
>I tried: `finger idx...@cck.coventry.ac.uk`
>and got: "unknown host: cck.coventry.ac.uk". oh, well...
>
** I am afraid that Unix machines do not take to well to being fingered.
They're a pain in the ass - that's why.
>kay> I guess this counts as an invite for you to drop by and slaver over my
>kay> new Silicon Graphics workstation with the 3D visualisation goggles... :)
>
** Sounds interesting. I've got a little test (Trust law) on Wednesday.
After this I am free. How about thursday afternoon or friday ?
Perhaps you can mail me.
--
****************************************************
* Graham Wilson * lsg...@uk.ac.cov.cck *
* LL.B. Law * Coventry University *
**********Life Sucks - But Death Swallows***********
Clive Jones
surrounding air during a thunderstorm, and hence the potential
difference between two peoples' respective legs when placed about 15cm
apart?
Or to work out how far away that lightning strike must have been,
coming up with the answer of about 100m, deciding you must have made a
mistake, and later going out and discovering that you were, in fact,
correct?
--Clive.
Clive Jones
>In article <SCOTTH.92J...@hoshi.corp.sgi.com> sco...@hoshi.corp.sgi.com (Scott Henry) writes:
>>
>>>>>>> In article <aqbl...@cck.coventry.ac.uk>, idx...@cck.coventry.ac.uk (the Crisco Kid) writes:
>>
>>kay> That's because I'm not *in* R block, Graham. If you'd ever taken the
>>kay> trouble to finger me <oo-er!> you'd have seen that I live in M.002 - the
>>kay> lower ground floor of the Art Fac. Us LGBfolk are so artistically
>>kay> inclined, y'know :)
>>
>>and got: "unknown host: cck.coventry.ac.uk". oh, well...
>>
>** I am afraid that Unix machines do not take to well to being fingered.
> They're a pain in the ass - that's why.
Junk this article here if you're not a computer type. Sorry about
this... (-8
I did a little more investigation:
stonea:~$ finger idx...@cck.coventry.ac.uk
unknown host: cck.coventry.ac.uk
stonea:~$ nslookup
Default Server: dns0-cl.cam.ac.uk
Address: 128.232.0.56
> ls coventry.ac.uk
[dns3-dur.ac.uk]
Host or domain name Internet address
*** Error during listing of coventry.ac.uk: No information
stonea:~$ host cck.coventry.ac.uk
cck.coventry.ac.uk mail is handled by nsfnet-relay.ac.uk
cck.coventry.ac.uk mail is handled by sun2.nsfnet-relay.ac.uk
Which I take to mean that Coventry isn't on JIPS yet, and has a closed
campus network - mail and news go over Janet to the outside world. So -
people in Coventry could possibly manage a finger, but for us in the
outside world there's no such luck.
Just out of interest, can someone post his finger entry for us? (-8
--Clive.
Peter Flynn, Official Muffin-sampler
> In article <SCOTTH.92J...@hoshi.corp.sgi.com> sco...@hoshi.corp.sgi.com (Scott Henry) writes:
>>I tried: `finger idx...@cck.coventry.ac.uk`
>>and got: "unknown host: cck.coventry.ac.uk". oh, well...
>>
> ** I am afraid that Unix machines do not take to well to being fingered.
> They're a pain in the ass - that's why.
Actually unix fingers quite nicely, but cck.coventry.ac.uk doesn't
seem to have a reverse-IP registration, so you'd have to use the
numeric IP address instead...
///Peter
Susan Donahue (10,000 Maniacs minus 1)
"In a little noticed action, the Federal Communications Commission ruled on
on Feb 28 that the controversial television documentary 'Tongues Untied' did
not violate the FCC's obscenity standards....
According to the FCC, more than 20 individuals or organizations filed FCC
complaints against stations which aired the program, charging that it violated
both obscenity and indecency standards....
In its ruling, the FCC said it dismissed the indecency charges on their merits
without examining them because FCC rules allow programs with 'indecent' content
to air after 8 p.m. [ my comment:Be aware that the Senate recently passed
legislation to restrict this to midnite-6am] The FCC said it examined the
obscenity allegations against 'Tongues Untied' on their merits and found them
at odds with Supreme Court standards....
Citing 1973 Supreme Court ruling of Miller v. California, which has become a
landmark ruling on issues surrounding obscenity, the commission said 'it is
unlikely , in our judgement, that the program as a whole could be found to be
legally obscene.'"
[I do not speak for PBS,...nor would I dain to....]
Nathan J. Mehl
>
>>In article <1992Jun9.1...@newstand.syr.edu> har...@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Allisson Roome) writes:
>>>
>
>in very silly voices and making elephant noises at the same time,
>and breaking into convulsions of giggles thereof...
> Dont ask why. I'm *still* not sure why...
I can top this. I don't know if I'm proud of that fact, but I can
definately top this.
During the act of intercourse (and a particularly vigorous bout at
that), I stopped thrusting, looked down tenderly at the love of my
life, and broke into a full rendition of Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper's
"Elvis is Everywhere."
That this person is still willing to be seen in public with me, much
less sleep with me, I can only attribute to divine providence.
And no, I don't know why. I suspect I never will.
------------Nathan J. Mehl---------------(nm...@pennsas.upenn.edu)------
It's the little touches that make a future solid enough to be destroyed.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Steve Jascourt
>Hmm. How strange is it to estimate the electric field density of the
>surrounding air during a thunderstorm, and hence the potential
>difference between two peoples' respective legs when placed about 15cm
>apart?
Now that's one to get a charge out of! (You left too much *potential* for
a pun!)
>Or to work out how far away that lightning strike must have been,
>coming up with the answer of about 100m, deciding you must have made a
>mistake, and later going out and discovering that you were, in fact,
>correct?
What, did you have a stopwatch? Sound travels around 330 m/s (depending on
temperature, or actually density), and the lightning could be assumed to
be seen instantaneously, so you had to know it was slightly less than 1/3
of a second between the lightning and the thunder (rather than, say, 1/2
second, because then you would have erred by more than 50%).
I wish I were in that vicinity then-- I *love* thunderstorms. We had a nice
lightning show in Madison tonight, but we haven't had much in the past 2
months, having missed our severe weather season. Any hail with your storm?
(If so, what was the largest size hailstone you saw?)
>--Clive.
Stephen Jascourt stv...@meteor.wisc.edu
Don Hopkins
Kathy Beatty
:
: I wish I were in that vicinity then-- I *love* thunderstorms. We had a nice
: lightning show in Madison tonight, but we haven't had much in the past 2
: months, having missed our severe weather season. Any hail with your storm?
: (If so, what was the largest size hailstone you saw?)
Hi Steve! If you *love* thunderstorms, you should move to Colorado! We
get some of the most violent ones possible, not to mention the occasional
tornado or two thrown in to make life interesting. The two worst
(best?) hailstorms I have experienced in the 20 years I've lived here
were 1) the pea-sized hail that drifted 4 ft. deep in places, closed
roads, and had snowplows out on Interstate 25 in June. 2) Two summers
ago, my part of town got hit by one of the fiercest storms I've ever
seen. The golfball size hail stripped leaves off the trees (it looked
like October in July), took out ALL the windows on the north side of
most of the buildings in the area including my house, and destroyed
most of the roofs as well - I had to replace mine. In addition, several
years ago a softball-sized hailstorm hit the Denver Broncos spring
training session. A small child was killed and several people had
broken arms, etc.
Kathy
fen...@drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu
> Hmm. How strange is it to [ .. electrostatics stuff .. ]
Weeeelll.. Oddest that springs to mind for me is the varying difficulty of
cutting up bits of offal; the way that the heart, for instance, needs a
serrated blade to get through the blood vessels, whereas liver, for instance,
is a lot easier to slice.
-- Fenthe (the un-squeamish)
Arrowsmith
something we made a habit of....
--
\S "I ride tandem with the random
SA...@phx.cam.ac.uk "Things don't turn out the way I plan them
sarr...@nyx.cs.du.edu "In the humdrum"
and elsewhere.... --Peter Gabriel
STella
>The strangest conversation involved a number of puns on the word "orgasm"
>sex with a tennis player would result in a "Bjorn Borgasm"
>Hamlet and Gertrude had an "Elsinorgasm"
>Edgar Allen Poe would have had a "Nevermorgasm"
>Mr. Woolworth probably had a "General Storgasm"
During the recent unpleasantnesses in the Middle East, Georgie had a
wargasm.
John. Paul, George and Ringo could have had a Fab Fourgasm.
If one runs out of lube one can all too easily have a sorgasm.
When the fleet's in, there are lots and lots of shorgasms.
If this thread goes long enough, we'll have borgasms.
If androids dream of electric inflatable sheep, do they have corgasms?
If you do it with your pants on, is that a drawergasm?
If you do it in the cryo lab, is that a DeWargasm?
John Norman, of course, has Gorgasms.
Folks who aren't very good at lovemaking have porgasms.
Lions have roargasms.
Monogamists have XORgasms.
And Guy Williams had zorgasms.
STe...@xanadu.com 1016 E. El Camino Real, #302, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
Kathy Beatty
else!
Kathy
John Dorrance
>Kathy
*sniff* We'll see about that...
Marlon and Jim behind the scenes: Explore-gasm
Sex as a sport: Score-gasm
Sex with a Jewish singer: Cantor-gasm
Sex in Camelot: Pellinore-gasm
Sex with Monty: What's behind that door-gasm
Sex with an imaginary beast: Manticore-gasm
Sex with Poe: Nevermore-gasm (has someone used that already? Hope not...)
Indecisive sex: Either/or-gasm
Lots and lots of sex: galore-gasm
Setting phasers on overkill (and still unsure what sex STella is, but
impressed as hell anyway ever since that gerbil post)
--
John Dorrance ** Disco Diva y Flamenco Chico ** tha...@odin.unomaha.edu
I always thought of you as my brick wall
Built like an angel, six feet tall.
David Hatt - 5-0083
ma...@Software.Mitel.COM (Ed Mahon) writes:
>
>This remindes me of a snigglet:
>
>
>and a wife says, "Beige... I think I'll paint it beige..."
>
>Ed
Ya gonna paint your pillowcases beige?????
:-)
dave
Bill Richard
>
>Setting phasers on overkill (and still unsure what sex STella is, but
>impressed as hell anyway ever since that gerbil post)
You know, I've been living with her for over ten years and sometimes
_I'm_ not sure what sex she is.
-wjr-
david parsons
|o...@vpnet.chi.il.us (david parsons) writes:
| har...@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Allisson Roome) writes:
| | The two of us got to wondering what
| |was the strangest conversation ever held in bed between two lovers
| |especially, the non-sexual conversations...
| systems being punctuated by sex
But this would mean that a vi-user and a emacs-user would actually be,
well, you know... I know that truth is stranger than fiction, but that
strange? ;-)
Tim Pierce
>Setting phasers on overkill (and still unsure what sex STella is,
STella's sex isn't that confounding to me. What I want to know is,
why is that T capitalized, dammit?
--
____ Tim Pierce / "Oh, God. My body's making milk. It's like
\ / twpi...@amherst.edu / one day discovering you can get bacon from
\/ (BITnet: TWPIERCE@AMHERST) / your elbow." -- Murphy Brown
MooseWatcher
|What the hell is all this? Why don't you idiots take this to email
|and spare us? I have no idea what's going on here.
|Unless I'm just moosing the whole point ... :-)
I agree... moose we continue this thread? :-)
--
********************************************************************************
StarWatcher -- not just an ordinary stargazer (bw...@cleveland.freenet.edu)
********************************************************************************
"He's not just a man, he's DeaconBlu!" "Yeah, we got him at a blu light special"
Stephen Swann
>| |was the strangest conversation ever held in bed between two lovers
>| |especially, the non-sexual conversations...
>|And then there's always Emacs -vs- vi!
>
> But this would mean that a vi-user and a emacs-user would actually be,
>well, you know... I know that truth is stranger than fiction, but that
>strange? ;-)
It would lend some credence to that old hardcore feminist dogma of
sex = violence, though, wouldn't it? :-)
Replies from vi users will be summarily ignored.
--
Steve Swann | Speak to me in many voices; make
sw...@acsu.buffalo.edu | them all sound like one... -BOC
Elf Sternberg
>In article <thaaang.708593233@odin> tha...@odin.unomaha.edu (John Dorrance) writes:
>
>>Setting phasers on overkill (and still unsure what sex STella is,
>
>STella's sex isn't that confounding to me. What I want to know is,
>why is that T capitalized, dammit?
>
Elf !!!
--
__ Eagles soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines. __
\/ \/
Elf Sternberg
e...@halcyon.com elf%pol...@uunet.uu.net e...@seanews.wa.com
Melissa Trevino
Does anyone out there know the Moose drinking song? It goes something
like....
Moose, Moose,
I like a Moose.
I've never had anything quite like a Moose.
I've had many lovers,
My Life has been loose...
But I've never had naything quite like a Moose.
just wonder ing....I an't temember it all....
prease ignore typose as my editor (and fingers) are fries..
melissa
Hillel Gazit
>why is that T capitalized, dammit?
Why do you care?
(It is easier, for me, to call people by their preferred name
than trying to follow their reasons for choosing it.)
Jake Coughlin
> |o...@vpnet.chi.il.us (david parsons) writes:
> | har...@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Allisson Roome) writes:
> | | The two of us got to wondering what
> | |was the strangest conversation ever held in bed between two lovers
> | |especially, the non-sexual conversations...
> | No, I don't think so. I seem to recall a conversation about menuing
> | systems being punctuated by sex
> |And then there's always Emacs -vs- vi!
well, with my lisp, neither can vi for my affection.
--
Jason Coughlin ( ja...@ralvmm.vnet.ibm.com )
Queer Without A Cause!
"I find myself suddenly in the world, and I recognize that I have one
right alone: that of demanding human behavior of the other." -- Fanon
Josh Diamond
In article <Bpw83...@news.cso.uiuc.edu> bw...@cleveland.freenet.edu (MooseWatcher) writes:
>na...@cbnewsd.cb.att.com (nancy.l.colucci) writes:
>|Unless I'm just moosing the whole point ... :-)
>I agree... moose we continue this thread? :-)
--
/\ \ / /\ Josh Diamond j...@bear.com
//\\ .. //\\ AKA Spidey!!! ...!ctr.columbia.edu!ursa!jmd
//\(( ))/\\
/ < `' > \ Beauty is the purgation of superfluities. -- Michelangelo
Justin Murdock
--
If this is NEWS, could you also mail me a copy of your follow-up to ensure
that I see it,
If this is mail, and CSD bounces your letter [user unknown], could you try
again later.
------------------------------------------------------------------------V 1.8b-
Justin Murdock, jcr_...@csd.brispoly.ac.uk |B1 f- t- w g+ k+ s+ e r p
41 Dorchester Road, Horfield, Bristol, BS7 0LB, UK | I'm buggered if I know
+44 272 311650 SuperGingerTabbyPusscatMan! | what this lot means!
Stef Jones
> Does anyone out there know the Moose drinking song? It goes something
>like....
>Moose, Moose,
>I like a Moose.
>I've never had anything quite like a Moose.
>I've had many lovers,
>My Life has been loose...
>But I've never had naything quite like a Moose.
I don't know. This just doesn't quite cut the moosetard.
--
Stef In the force if Yoda's so strong, construct a
st...@apple.com sentence with words in the proper order then
why can't he? /fortune
Mike Drayton
>...hoofing and poofing...
----------
Going dancing tonight, Jess?
Mike Drayton
mdra...@sr.hp.com
fen...@drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu
> hop...@turing.ac.uk (Don Hopkins) writes:
>> |o...@vpnet.chi.il.us (david parsons) writes:
>> | har...@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Allisson Roome) writes:
>> | | The two of us got to wondering what
>> | |was the strangest conversation ever held in bed between two lovers
>> | |especially, the non-sexual conversations...
>> | No, I don't think so. I seem to recall a conversation about menuing
>> | systems being punctuated by sex
>> |And then there's always Emacs -vs- vi!
>
> well, with my lisp, neither can vi for my affection.
Watch out, or I'll post the editors thread we had locally here (and it /is/
relevant - coming out in the local newsgroup under the guise of discussing
which editor people used. *Very* silly indeed. Also, great fun.. Especially
jumping on people who didn't realise it'd happened and giggling inanely at
their choice of editor..)
-- Fenthe (master of metaphor. Or possibly not.)
T.C.Weaver
>The strangest conversation I ever had in bed collectively includes all
>of the times David's mother called while we were having sex. If you
>can believe it, he would answer the telephone and starting talking.
Reminds me of the Groening cartoon.. from a dark panel..
RING RING...
"Oh, nothing, what about you...?"
Tanaqui
Shawn Hicks
Me thinks she had to drink a few to jog her memory. So-Ju used to make
me see things too... but my fingers always remainded fingers.
Shawn
Still smiling from Las Vegas' bigges pride festival!
June 14, F AG day.
L
Albert Lunde
writes:
>
> Does anyone out there know the Moose drinking song?
You are encouraged to imagine a crowd of bisexuals around a campfire
belting out the bi version of the chorus:
So it's Moose, Moose, I like a Moose,
I've never had anything quite like a Moose,
I've had men and women, my life has been loose,
But I've never had anything quite like a Moose!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Here are two versions of the Moose Song (from an interesting ftp site:)
Host rainbow.cse.nau.edu
Location: /sca/ioseph.asc
FILEs: bardic-x.txt, moose.txt
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
THE MOOSE SONG
-Thomas Payton, et. al.
(tune: "Betsy From Pike") [sort of]
When I was a young girl (man) I used to like boys (girls),
I fondled their tights (bodies) and played with their toys (curls),
But me boy (girl) friend ran off with a salesman named Bruce,
You'd never get treatment like that from a Moose!
CHORUS: So it's Moose, Moose, I like a Moose,
I've never had anything quite like a Moose,
I've had many lovers, my life has been loose,
But I've never had anything quite like a Moose!
Now when I'm in need of a very good lay,
I go to me stables and gets me some hay,
I opens me window and spreads it around,
'Cause Moose always comes when there's hay on the ground!
Now I've made it with all kinds of beasties with hair,
I'd make it with snakes if their fangs were not there,
I've made it with walrus, two ducks and a goose,
But I've never had anything quite like a Moose!
Now gorillas are fine for a Saturday night,
And lions and tigers, they puts up a fight,
But it just ain't the same when you slams your caboose
As the feeling you gets when you humps with a Moose!
I've tried many beasties on land or on sea
I've even tried hump-backs that humped back on me!
Sharks are quite good, tho they're hard to pull loose
But on dry land there is nothing quite like a moose!
Woodchucks are all right except that they bite
And foxes and rabbits won't last thru the night!
Cows would be fun, but they're hard to seduce
But you never need worry should you find a moose!
Step in my study, and trophies you'll find
A black striped tiger and scruffy maned lion
You'll know the elephant by his ivory tooth
And the one that's a-winking, you know is the moose!
The lion succumbed to a thirty-ought-six
Machine guns and tigers I've proved do not mix
The elephant fell by a bomb with a fuse
But I won't tell a soul how I did in the moose!
I've found many women attracted to me
A few of them have had me over for tea
Some say that they love me when they're feeling loose
But I'd trade the world's women for one lovely moose!
The good Lord made Adam, and then He made Eve
Said He: "If you sin now, I'll ask you to leave!"
They left not because of Eve's forbidden fruit
But 'cause Adam decided the moose there were cute!
The English are said to like boars who've had corn
The Celtics just dream of the young Unicorn
The Germans, it's said, just need leather and rope
But give me a moose and I'll no longer mope!
Now I've broken the laws in this god-awful state
They've put me in prison and locked up the gate
They say that tomorrow I'll swing from a noose
But my last night I'll spend with a good sexy moose!
Next morning the Governor's word reached my ears
"We've commuted your sentence to ninety-nine years!"
"You won't get parole; not a five minute's truce,
And your friend goes to Sing-Sing, he's so big-a-moose!"
(slowly) Now that I'm old and advanced in me years,
I'll look back on me life, and I'll shed me no tears,
As I sit in me chair with me glass of Mateuse,
And play hide the salami with Marvin (Millie) the Moose!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Moose Song
Atlantian Traditional
tune: Betsy from Pike
When I was a young man, I used to like girls
I'd fondle their bodies, I'd play with their curls
But my girlfriend ran off with a salesman named Bruce
I have never been treated like that by a moose.
<Chorus:>
And It's Moose, Moose, I want a moose
I've never had anything quite like a moose
I've had many women; my life has been loose
But I've never had anything quite like a moose.
Whenever I'm in the mood for a lay
I go to the closet and take out some hay
I go to the window and spread it around
'Cause a moose always comes when there's hay on the ground
<CHORUS>
Bears are all right for a Saturday night
And lions and tigers put up a great fight
But it's just not the same when I ram their caboose
As it does when I get a good hump on a moose
<CHORUS>
I've done it with all kinds of beasties with hair
I'd do it with snakes if their fangs were not there
I've done it with llamas, sheepdogs, and a goose
But I've never had anything quite like a moose
<CHORUS>
I've tried many creatures on land and at sea
I've even tried ostrichs but they didn't like me
Sharks are quite good but they're hard to pull loose
But on dry land there's nothing quite like a moose
<CHORUS>
Woodchucks are all right, except that they bite
And foxes and rabbits won't last through the night
Cows would be fun but they're hard to seduce
But you never need worry should you find a moose
<CHORUS>
Step in to my study and you will find there
A black stripped tiger and a scruffy maned bear
You'll know the elephant 'cause his skin is so loose
And the one that is winking you know is the moose
<CHORUS>
The lion succumbed to a thirty-ought-six
And machine guns and tigers I've proved just don't mix
The elephant he fell by a bomb with a fuze
But I won't tell a soul how I did in the moose
<CHORUS>
I've found many women attracted to me
A few of them have had me over for tea
Some say they love me when they're feeling loose
But I'd trade the world's women for one lovely moose
<CHORUS>
The good lord made Adam and a woman named Eve
Said if you sin now I'll ask you to leave
They left not because of Eve's forbidden fruit
But because Adam decided the moose; they were cute
<CHORUS>
The English are said to like boars who've had corn
The Celts they dream of the young unicorn
The Germans are happy with leather and rope
But give me a moose and I'll no longer mope
<CHORUS>
Well I've broken the law in this god awful state
And they've put me in prison and locked up the gate
They say that tomorrow I'll swing from a noose
But my last night I'll spend with a good sexy moose
<CHORUS>
Now I've grown old and look back on the years
I laugh at the failures and smile at the tears
And the years that remain will be put to good use
Playing hide the salami with Millie the Moose
<CHORUS>
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
--
Albert Lunde | Interfaith | *Y*Y* "A branch on the
Albert...@nwu.edu | Bisexual | *Y* tree of life"
alu...@nuacvm.bitnet | Feminist |.......|.........................
the Crisco Kid
>>>>>> In article <aqbl...@cck.coventry.ac.uk>, idx...@cck.coventry.ac.uk (the Crisco Kid) writes:
>kay> That's because I'm not *in* R block, Graham. If you'd ever taken the
>kay> trouble to finger me <oo-er!> you'd have seen that I live in M.002 - the
>kay> lower ground floor of the Art Fac. Us LGBfolk are so artistically
>kay> inclined, y'know :)
>I tried: `finger idx...@cck.coventry.ac.uk`
>and got: "unknown host: cck.coventry.ac.uk". oh, well...
That's cos we're not on the Internet yet, Scott. Soon, soon (I hope).
However...
$ finger idx009
Login name: idx009 (messages off) In real life: Kay Dekker
Office: M.002 , x8668 Home phone: 020-333-7865
Directory: /usrpk/id/staff/idx009 Shell: /usrpk/st/local/bin/bash
Universe: ucb
On since Jun 15 20:44:01 on ttyrC 11 seconds Idle Time
Project: Illegal, immoral and probably causes statistics in rats.
Plan:
Interrupt vector: 0xfffffe00
Address: 37 Old Winnings Rd, Keresley Village, CV7 8JL
Phone: (0203) 337865 (home), (0203) 838668 (office)
Bed: Warm, soft and shareable, but a bit narrow, alas
Body: Not bad considering the usage it's had
Brain: 256x256x256 transputer network
Cat: Ponsonby
Current jobs: (i) Designing a Virtual Styling Space
(ii) Getting the scanner to do its stuff
(iii) Going "Foop!"
Favourite foods: (i) Peanut butter
(ii) Coffee and bakhlava
(iii) The guy in the Levi adverts
Favourite positions: (i) Black to mate in two
(ii) Immoderation
(iii) Inside-out
Favourite places: (i) Bed
(ii) Other people's beds
(iii) Armpits
Projects on the go: (i) Deixis, taxis, praxis and handwaving
(ii) Waiting for Godot
(iii) Getting laid
>kay> I guess this counts as an invite for you to drop by and slaver over my
>kay> new Silicon Graphics workstation with the 3D visualisation goggles... :)
>
>Neat! which one did you get? Hmmm, maybe I can get over there: "Hey,
>boss, there's this customer in the UK that specifically wants me to
>come over and help them with a problem." Nahhh, I don't think they'd
>buy it...
A 4D/35G. We couldn't afford anything better (though SG were very
very kind in letting our research project have the kit rather cheaply).
You could always get a short secondment to the UK office...
mad, bad, and late with work again...
Kay
--
6'2", dark short hair, blue eyes, bisexual and horny as ....
Kay Dekker, Dept of Industrial Design, Coventry University, Coventry UK
37 Old Winnings Road, Keresley Village, Coventry |B0 f t+ g++ k++! s+ e r p!
Phone: +44 203 838668 (work) +44 203 337865 (home) |Deflowerer-of-innocents
dvs...@minster.york.ac.uk
>In article <pvcl...@cck.coventry.ac.uk>, lsg...@cck.coventry.ac.uk (Graham Wilson) writes:
>> In article <SCOTTH.92J...@hoshi.corp.sgi.com> sco...@hoshi.corp.sgi.com (Scott Henry) writes:
>>>I tried: `finger idx...@cck.coventry.ac.uk`
>>>and got: "unknown host: cck.coventry.ac.uk". oh, well...
>>>
>> ** I am afraid that Unix machines do not take to well to being fingered.
>> They're a pain in the ass - that's why.
>Actually unix fingers quite nicely, but cck.coventry.ac.uk doesn't
>seem to have a reverse-IP registration, so you'd have to use the
>numeric IP address instead...
cck.coventry.ac.uk does not have IP connectivity as yet, so the tcp/ip
services cannot be used across the net - sorry guys!
Dave
tdo...@llnl.gov
before. What can I say, except, "Oops!")
Paleontologists have dinosaur-gasms.
Mycologists have spore-gasms.
Parents of quadruplets had four-gasms.
Afficionados of Norse mythology have been known to have Thor-gasms.
And, for the SF fans among us: Lois McMaster Bujold's characters
have Vor-gasms.
TDO
FJ!!
friend and fuckbuddy up the wall at times by making him explain to me
why Multics was ahead of it's time, or what a preferred library was, or
what the Alpha-chip specs meant, while I was generally fooling around
with body parts of his like toes, ears, nose, etc.
It was fun to make him stop mid-sentence as his concentration left, and
to find out how much I had to tone the playing down to keep him
bordeline coherent. Then, just as he had resumed speaking after some
insitance and a question from me, all it would take was one extra lick
and his train-of-speech would derail totally again.
I remebered some of the stuff he has told me as well.
I can't really remember my strangest conversation in bed. I know that
they probably have become quite bizarre at some point (usually
afterwards), because I have so many bizarre conversations. Usually, if I
go for laughs, I just tickle.
FJ!!
Charles Perez
>In <1992Jun11.1...@newstand.syr.edu> har...@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Allisson Roome) writes:
>> In article <1992Jun11.0...@spool.cs.wisc.edu> raw...@cabrales.cs.wisc.ed
>> >In <1992Jun10.1...@watson.ibm.com> ja...@ralvmm.vnet.ibm.com (Jake Coug
>> >>kath...@cayley.waterloo.edu (Kate Atherley):
>> >>> Last night with my SO it was Chicken Evolution about a month ago
>> >>> it was two and a half hours of moose puns!
>> >
>> >>you moose be joking!
>> >
>> >Oh, boy. I can see that this is going to be a hit or moose thread.
>>
>> True we get to explore all the mooseteries of life in their moosed intimate
>> detail ...
>
>Don't all these puns just amount to mental mooseterbation?
>
>> (personally I prefer mousse - because when eating a chocolate
>> moose the antlers keep getting caught in my teeth) ..
>
>How can you tell if a guy likes Moosehead?
....oh, moost you?
>
>
>From the antler-marks on his thighs.
Oh, deer...
>
>(Shamelessly stolen from rec.humor.funny)
...and other places of that elk...
>
>Larry Margolis, MARGOLI@YKTVMV (Bitnet), mar...@watson.IBM.com (Internet)
Meloney Cregor
>Hmmm at the risk of perhaps instituting YAA (yet another acronym:) How
>'bout GNS (as in "I'm GNS":) That actually kinda rolls right off the
>tounge (Hnmm, can I be changing as I type:)
Guiness?
Are you that stout?
Andrei State
| >>>and got: "unknown host: cck.coventry.ac.uk". oh, well...
| >>>
| >> ** I am afraid that Unix machines do not take to well to being fingered.
| >> They're a pain in the ass - that's why.
|
| >Actually unix fingers quite nicely, but cck.coventry.ac.uk doesn't
| >seem to have a reverse-IP registration, so you'd have to use the
| >numeric IP address instead...
|
| cck.coventry.ac.uk does not have IP connectivity as yet, so the tcp/ip
| services cannot be used across the net - sorry guys!
Ask us if we care.
Andrei
Charles R. Martin
| cck.coventry.ac.uk does not have IP connectivity as yet, so the tcp/ip
| services cannot be used across the net - sorry guys!
Ask us if we care.
Okay. Do you care?
Happy to oblige.
--
Charles R. Martin/(Charlie)/mar...@cs.unc.edu/(ne c...@cs.duke.edu)
O/Dept. of Computer Science/CB #3175 UNC-CH/Chapel Hill, NC 27599-3175
H/3611 University Dr #13M/Durham, NC 27707/(919) 419 1754
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Mit der Dummheit kaempfen Goetter selbst vergebens. -- Schiller
Ergo bibamus! -- Goethe
Neil Postlethwaite
>
> Guess it has to involve attempting to sing 'Bohemian Rhapsody'*
>
>*This was pre-Wayne's World, we did it first :) But it made that scene
> even funnier... :)
>
Like a lot of Wayne's World sayings were funnier before they hijacked them
and claimed creation.
Funny After Waynes World. Not: is a prime example of a net.word hijacked.
Neil