Did Jesus Masturbate
Don Thompson
Daniel FTF-Longoria wrote:
>
> jonp...@melbpc.org.au wrote:
>
> % As Jesus was fully human and most (97%) of teenage boys mastabate I
> % assume that he did. The question is why does that idea surprise or
> % offend so many people? God created sexuality and that must mean that
> % God has a sexual dimension to him... he contains within himself
> % maleness and femaleness and desire. For God to have created sexual
> % attraction in us it must first of existed in him. In fact I think the
> % way God loves us is with strong desire which although not primarliy
> % sexual is not dissimilar. Jesus would not only have felt those sexual
> % desires and therefore probably expressed them in masturbation but
> % have rejoice in the fact that God made him a sexual being, like we all
> % should. Note I do not think that necessarily says anything about
> % whether he was celebrate or not - that is a different issue.
> %
> % ...Jon
>
> because it would mean we are doing what we want for our pleasure
> and not glorifying christ therefore in danger of eternal condemnation.
Are you saying that if you masterbate then you cannot live for christ?
Ola Skavhaug
na...@webspan.net wrote:
>
> Of course Jesus masturbated. Everyone does.
> The real question is, was Jesus having sex with John "the beloved
> disciple"? Id he wasn't, the Gospel of John shows that "john" at least
> was fantisizing about it.
>
> Does God masturbate? In his own way he must. Somehow we must be the
> result of this activity.
> !
> v
> In Response to:
> ORGASMIC BOY wrote:
> >
> > Erik Engstr=?iso-8859-1?Q?=F6m <mi...@hem.passagen.se>?= wrote:
> > >Sharon Katz wrote:
> > >>
> > >> In <4q2smj$9...@wombat.melbpc.org.au> jonp...@melbpc.org.au writes:
> > >> >
> > >> >As Jesus was fully human and most (97%) of teenage boys mastabate I
> > >> >
> > >>
> > >> i don't know where you think you got your information but there is NO
> > >> goD!You two talk a looot of shit.. MY BIG QUESTION IS STILL:
> > >
> > >IF GOD CREATED LIFE, JESUS AND THE MASTURBATION... WHO THE FUCK CREATED
> >
> >GOD????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
> > >
> > >/the man, the monster, einsteins brother
> > >
> > ><h2> SO DID GOD MASTERBATE
Well, well, well, I don't think you should jump to this conclusion
too fast. Of course Jesus COULD have marstubated, if he wanted to, but
when reading his message to other people, it is very hard to believe
he actually did. Masturbation is common, it feels good, but is is
a primitive act. Even cats and dogs masturbate. The word of Jesus, I
think (no one really knows :-) ) was that hell is a place on earth,
actually life on earth is hell. Heaven is the place in the sky.
And since masturbation is a earthty act, Jesus never cared to jerk off.
na...@webspan.net
roger lynn askin wrote:
>
> interesting question. More than likely he did, given what I've read about Him. He appears to
> be exceedingly human and prone to all that comes with that. God on the other hand is not, in
> my way of thinking, human, and, therefore, not capable of masturbating. I happen to agree with
> the notion that God holds both masculine and female sensibilities. So, the question becomes,
> Is God Gay? Seriously!
As I said in my email reply.
God, I guess, masturbates in a 'spiritual' way! He is Omni-sexual (
containing all sexuality within himself ). So why not masturbate!
na...@webspan.net
> Well, well, well, I don't think you should jump to this conclusion
> too fast. Of course Jesus COULD have marstubated, if he wanted to, but
> when reading his message to other people, it is very hard to believe
> he actually did. Masturbation is common, it feels good, but is is
> a primitive act. Even cats and dogs masturbate. The word of Jesus, I
> think (no one really knows :-) ) was that hell is a place on earth,
> actually life on earth is hell. Heaven is the place in the sky.
> And since masturbation is a earthty act, Jesus never cared to jerk off.
Well, it is possible that Jesus rejected masturbation as too "earthy".
But, he must have experienced it at least ONCE in his life to decided if
it should be rejected - don't you think so? However, this Jesus did not
see sexual "sins" as such a big deal. He didn't stone adulterers. He
hung around with prostitutes. Why would he cared about masturbation?
-- if he were truly God, then he knew that the seed was just a seed, and
spilling it didn't matter. BUT, if he were merely a MAN, then he would
have believed (see Thomas Aquinas "Suma Teologica") the same nonsense
the Roman Catholic Church believes, i.e., that the entire child is
contained in the sperm, and therefore, masturbation is a mortal sin
because it is murder.
However, since Jesus was a grown-up, he obviously had more sense then
the fiercely closeted gay catholic bishops and cardinals.
LEE A. GRAYSON
NO!!!!!!!!!!! He most certainly did not!!!
On Thu, 20 Jun 1996, Daniel FTF-Longoria wrote:
> jonp...@melbpc.org.au wrote:
>
> % As Jesus was fully human and most (97%) of teenage boys mastabate I
> % assume that he did.
Your forgetting one major difference here!! And that is that these
"teenage boys" as well as all men in the history of mankind (excluding
Jesus) masturbate due to their "Fallen state". That is, due to their
sin!! Remember that Jesus Christ was sinless, ie: Perfect and therefore
did not masturbate!! Masturbation is a sin..Its as simple as that. Why???
Because of the simple fact that masturbation involves lustfull
thoughts/erotic thoughts etc... that are in opposition to God's laws.
That is, lust is a sin. I hope this clears things up a bit for u guys .
The question is why does that idea surprise or
> % offend so many people? God created sexuality and that must mean that
> % God has a sexual dimension to him...
Yes, this is true, but it doesn't mean that Jesus had to to masturbate for
pleasure.. Sexuality is an important part of humanity, but can be
expressed wrongly! Sex in marriage is good in the sight of God. But out
of marriage is blasphemous.
Scott Van Hoosen
In article <4q2smj$9...@wombat.melbpc.org.au>, jonp...@melbpc.org.au wrote:
>As Jesus was fully human and most (97%) of teenage boys mastabate I
>offend so many people? God created sexuality and that must mean that
>maleness and femaleness and desire. For God to have created sexual
>attraction in us it must first of existed in him. In fact I think the
I'm curious about something. The bible states that god created Adam "in his
own image." Okay, so Adam is designed like god. And of course every avid
bible thumper will insist on the maleness of god, after all, he *is* the
"father," right? So god is like Adam, and he is a male. By definition, then,
god must have a penis. I'm am curious as to why he has it. I mean, is he
required to urinate periodically? Or perhaps he uses it to have sex. But who
to have sex with? Hmm... maybe with the holy spirit? Maybe that famous
virgin birth wasn't so virgin after all. I'll be Jehovah's hung like a horse.
Of course, that doesn't say much if you are a god, does it?
-Scott
cz...@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca
22192616.13...@frodo.student.gu.edu.au>
:Organization: Edmonton FreeNet, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Distribution:
LEE A. GRAYSON (s66...@frodo.student.gu.edu.au) wrote:
[Rantings re: sins of masturbation snipped...]
Looks like we've a successor to Brice Wellington. D'you suppose he'll
show up? I wonder what's happened to him...
Alex Elliott
On Sat, 22 Jun 1996 19:34:56 +1000 LEE A. GRAYSON (s66...@frodo.student.gu.edu.au) wrote:
> Masturbation is a sin..Its as simple as that. Why???
> Because of the simple fact that masturbation involves lustfull
> thoughts/erotic thoughts etc... that are in opposition to God's laws.
> That is, lust is a sin. I hope this clears things up a bit for u guys .
Actually, I don't find this particularly clear. Later on in the same
article you say, "Sex in marriage is good in the sight of God." Is it a
sin if one masturbates while fantasizing about one's spouse? Is it a sin
if the masturbation is actually mutual masturbation with one's spouse?
And what if the masturbation involves no lustful thoughts whatsoever?
Here's a real-life example: just this morning, I was sitting on the
floor in my underwear doing work. Typically, if my mind is occupied, I
tend to fidget without really paying attention to what I'm doing. This
morning, I just so happened to be fidgeting with a certain part of my
body (figuring out which part I'm referring to is left as an exercise
to the reader). I was thinking no erotic thoughts whatsoever - my mind
was rather occupied with contemplating the exchange-correlation energy
of electrons in two dimensions - yet I got an erection simply do to the
physiological response to genital stimulation. Would you call this
masturbation? If so, how can it be a sin with no lust involved?
Deconstructively yours,
Alex.
>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<
Alex Elliott
Yale University Physics Department
New Haven, CT, USA
email: ell...@minerva.cis.yale.edu
WWW: http://pantheon.cis.yale.edu/~elliott
>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<>=<
Brian Weber
roger lynn askin <as...@bcf.usc.edu> wrote:
>interesting question. More than likely he did, given what I've read about Him. He appears to
>be exceedingly human and prone to all that comes with that. God on the other hand is not, in
>my way of thinking, human, and, therefore, not capable of masturbating. I happen to agree with
>the notion that God holds both masculine and female sensibilities. So, the question becomes,
>Is God Gay? Seriously!
I think your just a little confused here. Stuff your tiny pee brain
back into your head AND turn it on so you can pay some good attention.
JESUS AND GOD ARE THE SAME SPIRTUAL BEING YOU FUCKING MORON!
Myco
We know. Jesus was with a group talking to a harlot. He said, "Let
whomever is without sin cast the first stone. A stone was thrown from
the back of the group. Jesus said, "Mother, I've told you not to come to
these meetings."
kathy kasten
I get it (regarding this post); Christian males are so focused on their
penis that they need to keep talking about it - even to people who could
care less about how big they are. PLEASE, little boys, stop cross
posting to alt.mindcontrol. We really are bored with your discussion as
to who has got the biggest one. Okay!
Barnacle
What an ignorant topic to argue over
Julian
I agree. So stop posting to alt.zen. Please.
Michael Begun
who the fuck cares?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
666 and see you all later...
Diane Brodson
>
>"I believe in one god, the father the almighty,
> maker of heaven and earth,
> of all that is seen and unseen
>'I believe in one lord Jesus Christ, only son of the father
> eternally begotten of the Father,
> GOD FROM GOD, LIGHT FROM LIGHT, TRUE GOD FROM TRUE GOD
> BEGOTTEN NOT MADE,
> who is of one being with the father
> through whom all things were made
>'I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord and giver of life
> who PROCEEDS FORTH FROM THE FATHER AND FROM THE SON
> and WITH the Father and the Son (s)he is worshipped and glorified."
>
>-The Nicean creed, created at the same time as the first of the canons for the bible.
>Wording decided on through the council of Nicea voting, following several assasinations.
>The decision made by a one vote margin, to embrace Trinitarian rather than Unitarian
>doctrine.
>
Trinitarians 1 Unitarians 0
Guess that settles it.
>In answer to the rest of what you so rudely replied to. From a theological perspective,
>god is both male and female. I guess you could if you wish consider such a thing
>incestuous. I would think that god is both male and female, gay and straight, etc.
This is good. Voted on at the same council?
>Christ is a being separate from the father, although partaking of his godhood, likewise
>the Holy spirit is a distinct being proceeding out of the Father and the Son, partaking
>of the person of both of them, and one with the godhood, but nevertheless distinct in
>personality and thus in being (I think therefore I am).
Personality? God? Does he/she have good hair days as well?
;}
Diane
Wendee
When a person decides to crosspost, I have found it to be a good idea to
read the groups first to see if the post is relevant to the group being
posted to. This thread, and many others, has no relevancy in
alt.parents-teens. Alt.parent-teens is a newsgroup for parents to
discuss the issues involved in raising teenagers. Please take this
groups name off your crossposting list.
Fred Cherry
>I think your just a little confused here. Stuff your tiny pee brain
>back into your head AND turn it on so you can pay some good attention.
>JESUS AND GOD ARE THE SAME SPIRTUAL BEING YOU FUCKING MORON!
Only Christians believe that. Perhaps the person you are flaming is not a
Christian.
I personally believe in the Old-Time-Religion. I mean the TRULY
Old-Time-Religion. I worship The Pussy.
*************************************************************************
Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. - Lincoln
Julian
Julian
>I personally believe in the Old-Time-Religion. I mean the TRULY
>Old-Time-Religion. I worship The Pussy.
Nice one Fred.
Julian
Frank Steiner
alt.rock-n-roll.metal.death?
I wonder how ill someone must be to discuss such a crap.
Frank
Jamie Steeg
-Jamie Steeg
Chris M. Jackel
>
>bwe...@www.prairieweb.com (Brian Weber) writes:
>
>
>>I think your just a little confused here. Stuff your tiny pee brain
>>back into your head AND turn it on so you can pay some good attention.
>>JESUS AND GOD ARE THE SAME SPIRTUAL BEING YOU FUCKING MORON!
>
>Only Christians believe that. Perhaps the person you are flaming is not a
>Christian.
>
>Old-Time-Religion. I worship The Pussy.
>
>
>Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. - Lincoln
>
>jo...@world.std.com
>
>
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts."
-Harver's Law.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Brandon Peskin
u guyz r idiots, do u know that?
Barnacle <barn...@earthlink.net> wrote:
>Brian Weber wrote:
>>
>> roger lynn askin <as...@bcf.usc.edu> wrote:
>>
>> >interesting question. More than likely he did, given what I've read about Him. He appears to
>> >be exceedingly human and prone to all that comes with that. God on the other hand is not, in
>> >my way of thinking, human, and, therefore, not capable of masturbating. I happen to agree with
>> >the notion that God holds both masculine and female sensibilities. So, the question becomes,
>> >Is God Gay? Seriously!
>>
>> I think your just a little confused here. Stuff your tiny pee brain
>> back into your head AND turn it on so you can pay some good attention.
>> JESUS AND GOD ARE THE SAME SPIRTUAL BEING YOU FUCKING MORON!
>What an ignorant topic to argue over
Sharon Katz
altars in places of worship of them...what a trun on!
Lord Fikos
you should have removed alt.parent-teens, or let this thread die, instead
you continued it like a fuck, and forced me to continue it as well.
> Michael Begun wrote:
> >
> > Brian Weber wrote:
> > >
> > > roger lynn askin <as...@bcf.usc.edu> wrote:
>
> When a person decides to crosspost, I have found it to be a good idea to
> read the groups first to see if the post is relevant to the group being
> posted to. This thread, and many others, has no relevancy in
> alt.parents-teens. Alt.parent-teens is a newsgroup for parents to
> discuss the issues involved in raising teenagers. Please take this
> groups name off your crossposting list.
> > >
> > > >interesting question. More than likely he did, given what I've
read about Him. He appears to
> > > >be exceedingly human and prone to all that comes with that. God on
the other hand is not, in
> > > >my way of thinking, human, and, therefore, not capable of
masturbating. I happen to agree with
> > > >the notion that God holds both masculine and female sensibilities.
So, the question becomes,
> > > >Is God Gay? Seriously!
> > >
> > > I think your just a little confused here. Stuff your tiny pee brain
> > > back into your head AND turn it on so you can pay some good attention.
> > > JESUS AND GOD ARE THE SAME SPIRTUAL BEING YOU FUCKING MORON!
> >
Frank Steiner
Julian wrote:
>
> jo...@world.std.com (Fred Cherry) wrote:
>
> >I personally believe in the Old-Time-Religion. I mean the TRULY
> >Old-Time-Religion. I worship The Pussy.
>
Get this fuck out of alt.rock-n-roll.metal.death. We don't care about
you little wimps wining about god and the bible.
Frank
====================================================================
Frank Steiner
Student of Computer Science, RWTH-Aachen
E-Mail: FU...@POOL.Informatik.RWTH-Aachen.DE
Tel.: +49 241 871520
====================================================================
"...and the devil sent his final weapon and named it The Kellys."
Prometheus
Jesus is/was the Son of God, not God Himself. Also, what does god have to
do with FUCKING POT YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.
Library Machine 1
Library Machine 1
What the hell are you even doing in alt.atari.2600 anyways?
Pleeze explain.
Maneki-Neko
je...@montcalm.cc.mi.us
Julian
Frank Steiner <fu...@zeus.Informatik.RWTH-Aachen.de> wrote:
>
>
>Get this fuck out of alt.rock-n-roll.metal.death. We don't care about
>you little wimps wining about god and the bible.
>
>Frank
Same to you teenybopper.
Barry O'Grady
dftf...@crl.com (Daniel FTF-Longoria) wrote:
:because it would mean we are doing what we want for our pleasure
:and not glorifying christ therefore in danger of eternal condemnation.
Right on brother! God gave us the ability for pleasure so that he could
observe us avoiding it. Having fun is sinful.
Hang on though. When you go to heaven it will be all pleasure. Does
that mean that everybody in heaven is in a constant state of sin?
=================
Why be born again when you can just grow up?
The Bishop
>
> >Brian Weber wrote:
> >>
> >> roger lynn askin <as...@bcf.usc.edu> wrote:
> >>
> >> >interesting question. More than likely he did, given what I've read about Him. He appears to
> >> >be exceedingly human and prone to all that comes with that. God on the other hand is not, in
> >> >my way of thinking, human, and, therefore, not capable of masturbating. I happen to agree with
> >> >the notion that God holds both masculine and female sensibilities. So, the question becomes,
> >> >Is God Gay? Seriously!
> >>
> >> I think your just a little confused here. Stuff your tiny pee brain
> >> back into your head AND turn it on so you can pay some good attention.
> >> JESUS AND GOD ARE THE SAME SPIRTUAL BEING YOU FUCKING MORON!
>
Take it from me, my children... Jesus masturbated with a fury no mere
mortal could understand. His act was not one of sacrilige, but instead one of
great love. Bless you my children..
The Bishop
The Bishop
Len Davis
Library Machine 1
Somebody PLEASE kill this thread. It has no place on
alt.atari.2600 and quite frankly I'm sick of seeing it
here. It's completely inappropriate and has nothing to do
with playing or collecting 2600 games.
Maneki-Neko
Je...@montcalm.cc.mi.us
Thomas Djafari
Ed Williams wrote:
>
> Library Machine 1 wrote:
> >
> > Somebody PLEASE kill this thread. It has no place on
> > alt.atari.2600 and quite frankly I'm sick of seeing it
> > here. It's completely inappropriate and has nothing to do
> > with playing or collecting 2600 games.
> >
>
Good idea !
cynic
> dftf...@crl.com (Daniel FTF-Longoria) wrote:
>
> :because it would mean we are doing what we want for our pleasure
> :and not glorifying christ therefore in danger of eternal condemnation.
>
> Right on brother! God gave us the ability for pleasure so that he could
> observe us avoiding it. Having fun is sinful.
> Hang on though. When you go to heaven it will be all pleasure. Does
> that mean that everybody in heaven is in a constant state of sin?
you're right.. fuckin hypocrites everywhere... preaching one thing,
practicing "fucking"... i'm sick and tired of this lost puppies... there
is no god.. there is penis and vagina... why fight it? why defy what is in
human nature?
cynic
Whitey
Ed Williams <ewil...@online.dct.com> wrote:
>So what you're saying is that collecting video games is in no way
>connected with masturbation? I beg to differ.
>--
>Ed.
Hey, you guys - "masturbate" is misspelled in the header.
Byte me.
an...@anon.com
Jesus came for all of us.
Chris Barnhart
an...@anon.com wrote:
(Snip> no... that's NOT a circumcision joke...
> >
> > Hey, you guys - "masturbate" is misspelled in the header.
> >
> > Byte me.
>
> Jesus came for all of us.
Ewwwwww..... someone get me a kleenex
--
______________________________________________________________________
Chris Barnhart - TechnoPup | "No wife, no horse, no moustache, always
cbar...@mail.ameritel.net | anger and derision."
| -Robert Anton Wilson
spadoink
In article <DuIEo...@mv.mv.com>, pa...@mustang.mv.com brought forth with
quaint pinash...
>Hey, you guys - "masturbate" is misspelled in the header.
or is it?
vx59
In article <31D20A...@cnct.com>, Reynolds Jones <par...@cnct.com>
wrote:
>> NO!!!!!!!!!!! He most certainly did not!!!
Who cares???
>> Your forgetting one major difference here!! And that is that these
>> "teenage boys" as well as all men in the history of mankind
(excluding
>> Jesus) masturbate due to their "Fallen state". That is, due to their
>> sin!! Remember that Jesus Christ was sinless, ie: Perfect and
therefore
>> did not masturbate!! Masturbation is a sin..Its as simple as that.
A sin...no it's not. Let me ask you something, would you rather have
your 15 year old daughter running around pregnant [or even with
aids/VD] because it was "evil" for her boyfriend to blow his load
without her?? I'm not saying that this string is right or wrong [in
fact I don't even know why in the hell I even read it in the first
place...it was obviously started by some punk just trying to get a
reaction]
>>Why???
>> Because of the simple fact that masturbation involves lustfull
>> thoughts/erotic thoughts etc... that are in opposition to God's
laws.
When I masturbate, I think about sex...one of the most beautiful things
in the world....created by god I might add! Call that "lustful" call
it "erotic" I call it whatever the hell you want to call it...the fact
is, god made the human male have sexual urges [esp teens] and if
he/she didn't want us to masturbate, he/she wouldn't have made us so
"ready" to?
And while I'm on the subject, what about nocturnal emission? ["wet
dreams" for those of you with really narrow minds] Is that a sin??
(since you tend to be the judge for what is right and what is wrong in
gods eyes...tell me) It's just a step away from masturbation, only you
do it by "accident"....or....GOD CAUSES IT!!! [after all, doesn't he
cause everything??]
>> That is, lust is a sin. I hope this clears things up a bit for u
guys .
There is a fine line between lust and clean, pure sexual release.
>> Yes, this is true, but it doesn't mean that Jesus had to to
masturbate for
>> pleasure.. Sexuality is an important part of humanity, but can be
>> expressed wrongly!
You're right...it can be expressed wrongly: RAPE, SEX AT A VERY YOUNG
AGE [part of the reason that masturbation is NOT a bad thing] REALLY
WEIRD/IMPURE SEXUAL ACTS...I can go on and on, but let me just say
that: If you, even for a second, can think that masturbation is a sin
compared to those things, you've got to be out of your mind. Esp. when
masturbation could have prevented those things in the first place...
john todd jensen
Chris Barnhart <cbar...@mail.ameritel.net> wrote:
>an...@anon.com wrote:
>
>(Snip> no... that's NOT a circumcision joke...
>> >
>> >
>>
>> Jesus came for all of us.
>
>Ewwwwww..... someone get me a kleenex
i'm not gonna touch that one
Len Davis
Chris Barnhart wrote:
>
> an...@anon.com wrote:
>
> (Snip> no... that's NOT a circumcision joke...
> > >
> > > Hey, you guys - "masturbate" is misspelled in the header.
> > >
> > > Byte me.
> >
> > Jesus came for all of us.
>
> Ewwwwww..... someone get me a kleenex
>
> ______________________________________________________________________
> Chris Barnhart - TechnoPup | "No wife, no horse, no moustache, always
> cbar...@mail.ameritel.net | anger and derision."
> | -Robert Anton Wilson
Jesus masturbated with such a fury no mere mortal could understand......
Chris Barnhart
Len Davis wrote:
>
(stuff snipped)
> Jesus masturbated with such a fury no mere mortal could understand......
I think I love you! Marry me!!!
john todd jensen
Len Davis <lda...@lynx.dac.neu.edu> wrote:
>Chris Barnhart wrote:
>>
>> an...@anon.com wrote:
>>
>> (Snip> no... that's NOT a circumcision joke...
>> > >
>> > > Hey, you guys - "masturbate" is misspelled in the header.
>> > >
>> > > Byte me.
>> >
>> > Jesus came for all of us.
>>
>> Ewwwwww..... someone get me a kleenex
>>
>> ______________________________________________________________________
>> Chris Barnhart - TechnoPup | "No wife, no horse, no moustache, always
>> cbar...@mail.ameritel.net | anger and derision."
>> | -Robert Anton Wilson
>
Heather D. Gwynn
you are weird!!! email me.
Jeanne Kowalewski
In article <31F439...@mednet.gov>, Khashdrahr Miasma
<kmi...@mednet.gov> wrote:
* Subject: Re: Commandante Meow Meow Matt Bruce Meow Meow
* From: sta...@scws45.harvard.edu (Mark Staloff)
* Date: 1996/02/11
* Message-Id: <4fl5er$c...@decaxp.harvard.edu>
* References: <4fife5$q...@ias2.ichange.com>
* Followup-To:
*
alt.fan.ok-Soda,alt.fan.zoogz-Rift,alt.stupidity,alt.stupidity.spatch,alt.fan.kia-Men
* nie
* Organization: Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts
* Newsgroups:
*
alt.fan.ok-Soda,alt.fan.zoogz-Rift,alt.stupidity,alt.stupidity.spatch,alt.fan.kia-Men
* nie
*
*
* STOP CROSSPOSTING THIS LAMEASS MEOW MEOW CRAP TO IRRELEVANT NEWS GROUPS,
* YOU LAME FUCKERS.
*
* KEEP IT TO ALT.FAN.ZOOGZ-RIFT THE DICKLESS MAMA.
*
* THANK YOU.
*
* <mark>
Why are you crossposting this crap over to alt.politics.white-power?
Unless Zoogs Rift wants to challenge Les Griswold to a wrestling match, it
has no relevence here. BTW, Les thinks that Rowdy Roddy Piper has a better
body and has some acting talent, so Zoogs may want to kick Les' pimply
butt anyway.
--
Rev. Jeanne K. | SISTER JEANNE!
Ordained Minister, ULC | Official Melchizedek Priest of McChurch
http://ulc.org/ulc/ | http://mcchurch.org
"There are many humorous things in the world: among them the white
man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages."
‹ Mark Twain
Khashdrahr Miasma
[ Article reposted from
alt.life.sucks,alt.butts,alt.culture.jesse-garon,alt.bitterness,alt.bob.bring-me-a-goa
thead,alt.smouldering.dog.zone,alt.stupidity ]
[ Author was Peaches ]
[ Posted on Tue, 20 Feb 1996 04:09:38 GMT ]
In article <4ftsje$q...@decaxp.harvard.edu>, sta...@scws45.harvard.edu
(Mark Staloff) wrote:
> Adolf Schwarzenegger (aken...@chappaquiddick.com) wrote:
>
> : What are you whining aboutt? Who is Matt? Where are these s "serious"
> : groups you are talking about?
>
> Matt Bruce, the one with all of the meow meow references. The serious
> group in question is alt.college.college-bowl. I'm going to request
> politely that you stop crossposting to that newsgroup because Matt
> is the president of Harvard College Bowl and that crap does not belong on
> the newsgroup which has been designated for that activity.
>
> We've been patient with all of this, but when you start posting
> inappropriate material to that group you cross a certain line where it
> ceases to be a game and becomes a form of harassment. I'm appealing on
> Matt's behalf for all of you to please give it up and stay out of that
> newsgroup. Because this just isn't funny any longer.
>
> Mark
Oh, I see. You can crosspost with impunity because you go to Harvard, but
we plebeians can't. Well, I have news for you and your Ivy League
buddies: y'all can go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut, because there
is a real world out there and it'll eat hothouse flowers like you right
up. With pliers.
Khashdrahr Miasma
Subject: Re: Sporky. (MATT BRUCE: Kamakaze Meow on Meow?)
From: sta...@scunix4.harvard.edu (Mark Staloff)
Date: 1996/05/15
Message-Id: <4nbbri$7...@decaxp.HARVARD.EDU>
References: <4n8h6l$m...@decaxp.HARVARD.EDU>
Organization: Harvard University
Newsgroups: alt.fan.ok-Soda
Stewart King (slk...@scws32.harvard.edu) wrote:
: This is actually remarkably accurate. I'm proud of you. We honest to
: sweet jesus weren't seriously invading them but beyond that I'd have to
: call this pretty much a true story.
I saw that. You should be up there with me and Matt for leading the
invasion, tho, seeing as how you said about as much as I did.
: I'd have to, only I've disappeared. <cackle>
<pop>
Brinker
Oh, Danny-boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling.....
ICEKNIFE
we...@nauticom.net (vx59) wrote:
>Who cares???
BREAKDOWN:
It's a sin for Catholics, certain fundamentalist christians, and
orthodox jews... don't know about Moslems,...
It's a sin for them because they think it is, which creates guilt when
they engage in natural biological functions. The sin is guilt free
from rational thought; the horrors wrought by sexual repression and
oppression have ever been used as a political (economic) tool, and to
the detriment of the speices as a whole.
Everyone ELSE? Grab yer gentiles and dance!
Yes, I *DO* know how to spell genitals. It LOOKS better the other way.
one more thing...
Jesus was not a catholic... Masturbation is a catholic sin. Spare me
the "onanism" argument... his sin was premature withdrawl, which as
everyone knows, carrys a severe penalty. Reread the Song of Solomon to
get a good idea what the jews of Jesus's time thought of sex. Then go
take a cold shower, you may get nasty thoughts and spontaniously
combust.
ICEKNIFE
Raoul Xemblinostomy
Strangers in the night, exchanging rubbers....
Haakon Lugiesson
ICEKNIFE wrote:
>
> jea...@rio.com (Jeanne Kowalewski) wrote:
>
> >In article <31F439...@mednet.gov>, Khashdrahr Miasma
> ><kmi...@mednet.gov> wrote:
>
> >* Subject: Re: Commandante Meow Meow Matt Bruce Meow Meow
> >* From: sta...@scws45.harvard.edu (Mark Staloff)
> >* Date: 1996/02/11
> >* Message-Id: <4fl5er$c...@decaxp.harvard.edu>
> >* References: <4fife5$q...@ias2.ichange.com>
> >* Followup-To:
> >*
> >alt.fan.ok-Soda,alt.fan.zoogz-Rift,alt.stupidity,alt.stupidity.spatch,alt.fan.kia-Men
> >* nie
> >* Organization: Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts
> >* Newsgroups:
> >*
> >alt.fan.ok-Soda,alt.fan.zoogz-Rift,alt.stupidity,alt.stupidity.spatch,alt.fan.kia-Men
> >* nie
> >*
> >*
> >* STOP CROSSPOSTING THIS LAMEASS MEOW MEOW CRAP TO IRRELEVANT NEWS GROUPS,
> >* YOU LAME FUCKERS.
> >*
> >* KEEP IT TO ALT.FAN.ZOOGZ-RIFT THE DICKLESS MAMA.
That's ZOOGZ RIFT/THE LIQUID MOAMO to you, felcher.ICEKNIFE wrote:
>
> jea...@rio.com (Jeanne Kowalewski) wrote:
>
> >In article <31F439...@mednet.gov>, Khashdrahr Miasma
> ><kmi...@mednet.gov> wrote:
>
> >* Subject: Re: Commandante Meow Meow Matt Bruce Meow Meow
> >* From: sta...@scws45.harvard.edu (Mark Staloff)
> >* Date: 1996/02/11
> >* Message-Id: <4fl5er$c...@decaxp.harvard.edu>
> >* Organization: Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts
> >* Newsgroups:
> >* STOP CROSSPOSTING THIS LAMEASS MEOW MEOW CRAP TO IRRELEVANT NEWS GROUPS,
> >* YOU LAME FUCKERS.
> >*
> >* KEEP IT TO ALT.FAN.ZOOGZ-RIFT THE DICKLESS MAMA.
> >*
> >* THANK YOU.
> >*
> >* <mark>
>
> >Why are you crossposting this crap over to alt.politics.white-power?
> >Unless Zoogs Rift wants to challenge Les Griswold to a wrestling match, it
> >has no relevence here. BTW, Les thinks that Rowdy Roddy Piper has a better
> >body and has some acting talent, so Zoogs may want to kick Les' pimply
> >butt anyway.
Zoogz wears THE FAT MAN'S PAJAMAS with THE AIRCONDITIONING IN THE BACK.
> >* THANK YOU.
> >*
> >* <mark>
>
> >Why are you crossposting this crap over to alt.politics.white-power?
> >Unless Zoogs Rift wants to challenge Les Griswold to a wrestling match, it
> >has no relevence here. BTW, Les thinks that Rowdy Roddy Piper has a better
> >body and has some acting talent, so Zoogs may want to kick Les' pimply
> >butt anyway.
Zoogz rules. All hail The Liquid Moamo.
> >"There are many humorous things in the world: among them the white
> >man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages."
> >Š Mark Twain
>
> Look, Zoogz Rift is relevent to alt.magick.tantra, but this post
> wasn't.
Zoogz Rift is relevant to EVERYTHING in the WHOLE FUCKING UNIVERSE.
> Even Karl Malden's nose has a place here for those into more esoteric
> sex magick practices, but your post was not related to
> alt.magick.tantra OR alt.weasle.weasle.weasle.
Karl Malden's Nose is the asshole of Usenet! Just check it out for
yourself at news:alt.fan.karl-malden.nose and see!
> Please stop this nonsense at ONCE! I know you kids must have something
> better to do with your time than pester honest hard working weasle
> tantra nose rifts!
Cease and desist. You are only making yourselves look silly.
> ok!
meow
> good!
meow
> ok then!
meow
> yeah!
meow
> ICEKNIFE
Haakon
El Xemblinado Rey
ICEKNIFE wrote:
>
> jea...@rio.com (Jeanne Kowalewski) wrote:
>
> >In article <31F439...@mednet.gov>, Khashdrahr Miasma
> ><kmi...@mednet.gov> wrote:
>
> >* Subject: Re: Commandante Meow Meow Matt Bruce Meow Meow
> >* From: sta...@scws45.harvard.edu (Mark Staloff)
> >* Date: 1996/02/11
> >* Message-Id: <4fl5er$c...@decaxp.harvard.edu>
> >* References: <4fife5$q...@ias2.ichange.com>
> >* Followup-To:
> >*
> >alt.fan.ok-Soda,alt.fan.zoogz-Rift,alt.stupidity,alt.stupidity.spatch,alt.fan.kia-Men
> >* nie
> >* Organization: Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts
> >* Newsgroups:
> >*
> >alt.fan.ok-Soda,alt.fan.zoogz-Rift,alt.stupidity,alt.stupidity.spatch,alt.fan.kia-Men
> >* nie
> >*
> >*
> >* STOP CROSSPOSTING THIS LAMEASS MEOW MEOW CRAP TO IRRELEVANT NEWS GROUPS,
> >* YOU LAME FUCKERS.
> >*
> >* KEEP IT TO ALT.FAN.ZOOGZ-RIFT THE DICKLESS MAMA.
> >* THANK YOU.
> >*
> >* <mark>
>
> >Why are you crossposting this crap over to alt.politics.white-power?
> >Unless Zoogs Rift wants to challenge Les Griswold to a wrestling match, it
> >has no relevence here. BTW, Les thinks that Rowdy Roddy Piper has a better
> >body and has some acting talent, so Zoogs may want to kick Les' pimply
> >butt anyway.
>
> >Rev. Jeanne K. | SISTER JEANNE!
> >Ordained Minister, ULC | Official Melchizedek Priest of McChurch
> >http://ulc.org/ulc/ | http://mcchurch.org
>
> >man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages."
> >Š Mark Twain
>
> Look, Zoogz Rift is relevent to alt.magick.tantra, but this post
> wasn't.
Fuckhead.
>
> Even Karl Malden's nose has a place here for those into more esoteric
> sex magick practices, but your post was not related to
> alt.magick.tantra OR alt.weasle.weasle.weasle.
>
ICEKNIFE
jea...@rio.com (Jeanne Kowalewski) wrote:
>‹ Mark Twain
Look, Zoogz Rift is relevent to alt.magick.tantra, but this post
wasn't.
Even Karl Malden's nose has a place here for those into more esoteric
sex magick practices, but your post was not related to
alt.magick.tantra OR alt.weasle.weasle.weasle.
Please stop this nonsense at ONCE! I know you kids must have something
better to do with your time than pester honest hard working weasle
tantra nose rifts!
ok!
good!
ok then!
yeah!
ICEKNIFE
ferdinand
icek...@lanminds.com (ICEKNIFE) wrote:
>we...@nauticom.net (vx59) wrote:
>>Who cares???
>BREAKDOWN:
>one more thing...
>ICEKNIFE
Its a sin because its agaist nature!!
Greetirngs
Rob
Nick Mulder
ferdinand wrote:
-snip-
>
> Greetirngs
>
> Rob
I do not drive a car but ofcourse "tickle the willy" now and then.
So explain me how nature suffers from me having fun? I don't see any
sparrows drop dead in pure agony or trees fall down everytime I breath
heavenly..
Maybe this guy is concerned about the germs under his foreskin.
The jews found a pretty good solution to that.
Nick.
Dennis McClain-Furmanski
On 07-27-96, fe...@cartel.westfalen.d wrote:
> icek...@lanminds.com (ICEKNIFE) wrote:
>Jesus was not a catholic... Masturbation is a catholic sin. Spare me
>the "onanism" argument... his sin was premature withdrawl, which as
>everyone knows, carrys a severe penalty. Reread the Song of Solomon to
>get a good idea what the jews of Jesus's time thought of sex. Then go
>take a cold shower, you may get nasty thoughts and spontaniously
>combust.
> Greetirngs
Do they really help masturbation?
OF COURSE it's a sin if it's AGAINST nature. You gotta do it WITH nature.
She likes it better that way.
* 2qwk! 2.0 * Between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
--
Doktor DynaSoar Iridium -- dyn...@infi.net -- Punctuator of Evolution
Morton Goldmacher
fe...@cartel.westfalen.de (ferdinand) wrote:
>Its [masturbation] a sin because its agaist nature!!
Nothing is more unnatural than celibacy and guilt over simple
pleasures. What planet did you grow up on?
Morton M. Goldmacher
Barrister and Solicitor
david_gilbert
In article <4thi86$r...@nw101.infi.net> dyn...@infi.net (Dennis
Jesus masturbated with such a fury no mere mortal could understand!
Martina P. McBurney
As for this whole fixation about masturbation, you know what they say:
Small things amuse small minds. ;-) This is geared towards cronic
masturbators and not necessary those who have who have posted under this
topic.
Cheers, Mad Marti
Michael Everett
On 31 Jul 1996 21:36:13 GMT, David Gilbert wrote:
>
>Jesus masturbated with such a fury no mere mortal could understand!
>
unusually well developed muscles in his right wrist. Computer
enhanced studies show an erect penis with a pronounced curve to the
right.
Unpublished Dead Sea scrolls reveal an intense preoccupation among
early Christians with masturbation as a ritual form of prayer. Mutual
masturbation and oral sex occupied much of the time of early Christian
monks. New evidence proves that Jesus was gay and fond of young boys,
even though he kept several female concubines. It wasn't until 650
AD that heterosexuals were allowed to be Christians. It was at this
time that women were brought into religious service as nuns to serve
the sexual needs of the new heterosexual priesthood.
ME
Urban Goddess
In article <320037...@total.net>,
Martina P. McBurney <madm...@total.net> wrote:
>Small things amuse small minds. ;-) This is geared towards cronic
>masturbators and not necessary those who have who have posted under this
>topic.
What qualifies a person as a chronic masturbator?
'chelle
--
"I need a cat that can cook me breakfast and a kangaroo to take me to
work. I must see to obtaining these items immediatly." --suraj
Martina P. McBurney
Urban Goddess wrote:
>
> In article <320037...@total.net>,
> Martina P. McBurney <madm...@total.net> wrote:
>
> >Small things amuse small minds. ;-) This is geared towards cronic
> >masturbators and not necessary those who have who have posted under this
> >topic.
>
> What qualifies a person as a chronic masturbator?
>
> 'chelle
to masturbate. For instance if you have masturbated in the time it took
you to read this posting, you are a chronic masturbator.
Cheers, Mad Marti
Phylphy
Hail Satan
Sam
"Martina P. McBurney" <madm...@total.net> wrote:
>As for this whole fixation about masturbation, you know what they say:
>Small things amuse small minds. ;-) This is geared towards cronic
>masturbators and not necessary those who have who have posted under this
>topic.
Oh shit that's a relief. I'd hate to think I was "chronic".
C.C. Ravenheart
On 2 Aug 1996 10:09:26 -0400, vel...@calzone.oit.unc.edu (Urban
Goddess) wrote:
> So, what if someone were to masterbate twice a day (say first
>thing in the morning with their morning coffee and cigarette and then
>right before meditation to go to sleep)? Would that be chronic
>masterbation?
Wow... is that what you always do? <smirk... giggle>
C.C. Ravenheart -- rgod...@alt.net
Urban Goddess
In article <320141...@total.net>,
>to masturbate. For instance if you have masturbated in the time it took
>you to read this posting, you are a chronic masturbator.
So, what if someone were to masterbate twice a day (say first
thing in the morning with their morning coffee and cigarette and then
right before meditation to go to sleep)? Would that be chronic
masterbation?
'chelle
Pee Kitty
Urban Goddess (vel...@calzone.oit.unc.edu) spewed forth:
> In article <320141...@total.net>,
> Martina P. McBurney <madm...@total.net> wrote:
> > I guess it would be a person who always has the urge (and acts upon it)
> >to masturbate. For instance if you have masturbated in the time it took
> >you to read this posting, you are a chronic masturbator.
> So, what if someone were to masterbate twice a day (say first
> thing in the morning with their morning coffee and cigarette and then
> right before meditation to go to sleep)? Would that be chronic
> masterbation?
Hell, no...that'd be laziness! Lemme give you an itinerary of a normal
day; that way, you can compare what a CHRONIC masturbator is like...
Wake up.
Masturbate.
Turn off alarm.
Masturbate.
Get up.
Hit the shower.
Masturbate.
Wash body.
Lather.
Masturbate.
Rinse.
Masturbate.
Repeat.
Begin towelling off.
Masturbate.
Get a clean towel.
Finish towelling off.
Start cooking breakfast.
Masturbate.
Turn off smoke alarm, turn on stove fan.
Eat cereal instead.
Masturbate.
Drive to work.
Masturbate at red lights.
Talk to police officer.
Arrive at work.
Clock in.
Go to bathroom.
Masturbate.
Work for 20 minutes.
Go to bathroom.
Repeat above three steps until end of day.
Clock out.
Drive back home.
Masturbate at most red lights, watching for police.
Walk into house.
Masturbate.
Wipe off sofa.
Watch TV.
Masturbate.
Go to bed when screen becomes opaque.
Masturbate.
Set alarm.
Masturbate.
Pray.
Masturbate.
Sleep peacefully.
--
Rev. Pee Kitty, of the order Malkavian-Dobbsian
Meow!
--> You can fight the Conspiracy of Normalcy and get back your Slack!
--> Send $1 to Church of the SubGenius / PO Box 140306 / Dallas TX 75214
--> Or visit alt.slack or FTP to http://www.cris.com/~pkitty for info
"Why spend $30 or even $40 dollars for a filthy porno movie when you can
jerk off all over the Church of the SubGenius for only $30 bucks!"
- (Pope) Rev. Godfather Gillan [edit]
Pee Kitty
C.C. Ravenheart (rgod...@alt.net) spewed forth:
> > So, what if someone were to masterbate twice a day (say first
> >thing in the morning with their morning coffee and cigarette and then
> >right before meditation to go to sleep)? Would that be chronic
> >masterbation?
> Wow... is that what you always do? <smirk... giggle>
BEAVIS: Heh-heh, heh-heh...he said 'masturbate'...
RGODDARD: Huh-huh, yeah. That wuz cool...huh-huh, huh-huh....
Urban Goddess
In article <320261aa...@news.alt.net>,
C.C. Ravenheart <rgod...@alt.net> wrote:
>On 2 Aug 1996 10:09:26 -0400, vel...@calzone.oit.unc.edu (Urban
>Goddess) wrote:
>> So, what if someone were to masterbate twice a day (say first
>>thing in the morning with their morning coffee and cigarette and then
>>right before meditation to go to sleep)? Would that be chronic
>>masterbation?
>Wow... is that what you always do? <smirk... giggle>
Well...yes... I have urges and if there is no one around to
fufill my desires, I figure better that than to go out and tumble into
the sack with some stranger... I mean sometimes I am sick and don't
feel like it, but as a general rule... And masterbation does make a
great drug-free cure for insomnia... =)
So would that be chronic? And is that necessarily a bad thing?
I mean, I am genuinely curious. It seems a bit better to masterbate
frequently than to go around all tense and put out because you want sex
or to go out and carelessly fufill those sexual urges with just any old
someone who strikes your lustful fancy.
Lou Duchez
In article <4u2tng$c...@calzone.oit.unc.edu>,
vel...@calzone.oit.unc.edu (Urban Goddess) wrote:
> In article <320261aa...@news.alt.net>,
> C.C. Ravenheart <rgod...@alt.net> wrote:
> >On 2 Aug 1996 10:09:26 -0400, vel...@calzone.oit.unc.edu (Urban
> >Goddess) wrote:
>
> >> So, what if someone were to masterbate twice a day (say first
> >>thing in the morning with their morning coffee and cigarette and then
> >>right before meditation to go to sleep)? Would that be chronic
> >>masterbation?
>
> >Wow... is that what you always do? <smirk... giggle>
> Well...yes... I have urges and if there is no one around to
> fufill my desires, I figure better that than to go out and tumble into
> the sack with some stranger... I mean sometimes I am sick and don't
> feel like it, but as a general rule... And masterbation does make a
> great drug-free cure for insomnia... =)
Way to go, seestah! Massage your Slack glands! Get right with "Bob"!
> So would that be chronic? And is that necessarily a bad thing?
> I mean, I am genuinely curious. It seems a bit better to masterbate
> frequently than to go around all tense and put out because you want sex
> or to go out and carelessly fufill those sexual urges with just any old
> someone who strikes your lustful fancy.
"Bob" masturbates, then mates with anything. ANYTHING. Women, men,
animals, plants, planets, abstract concepts ... he's a horny little
bastard. But we love him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Bob" brings a NEW DESTINY FOR AMERICA. Send $1 to help support truth,
justice, the American Way & your precious bodily fluids. Only "Bob"
has all the answers.
The SubGenius Foundation
P. O. Box 140306
Dallas, TX 75214
(Visit alt.slack for more details.)
Lou Duchez
In article <320261aa...@news.alt.net>,
rgod...@alt.net (C.C. Ravenheart) wrote:
> On 2 Aug 1996 10:09:26 -0400, vel...@calzone.oit.unc.edu (Urban
> Goddess) wrote:
>
> > So, what if someone were to masterbate twice a day (say first
> >thing in the morning with their morning coffee and cigarette and then
> >right before meditation to go to sleep)? Would that be chronic
> >masterbation?
>
> Wow... is that what you always do? <smirk... giggle>
And what's wrong with that? The Con wants people to get worked up
over sex so that they're tense and edgy. EXERCISE YOUR SEX GLANDS,
CHILDREN! "Bob" commands it!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SUPERIOR MUTANTS!
Vengeance on the Pink Boys, Mediocretins and normals who brought this
crumbling technocracy is *condoned* by this anti-religion of the future.
The Church of the SubGenius is an empire of "unpredictables" on a rampage
of strangeness. Indulge your abnormality! Insane priesthood ordination
and weird-ass propaganda $1.
Irreverend Friday Jones
Did you know that Jesus works for the SubGenius Foundation? It's true!
You can ask him yourself! Just send $1 to:
The SubGenius Foundation
Attn: Jesus Christ
PO BOX 140306
Dallas, TX 75214
and ask: "Jesus, do you masturbate?"
The answer may alarm you. It may surprise you. It may even _terrify you_.
- The Irreverend Friday Jones
http://www.cybercom.net/~friday
Praise "Bob"!
St. Pomp Prideless
Who cares.
--
"What's goin' on.........Nothin'......... OK!"
Pomp Prideless
Heraclitos Christos Nickolaidis
Well Jesus didn't but in he holy book of judaism (old testament)
masturbation is inspired by god (Avnan)
--
"antitetradia tis ekpaedefsis"
http://www.forthnet.gr/antitetradia/
The magazine for education
which doesn't have only friends
...and we are happy about it!
Heraclitos Christos Nickolaidis
http://www.compulink.gr/users/heraclit/heraclitos.html
Bald Guy>101747.1421@compuserve.com <
Of course he did. The more interesting question is:
'what happened to all that sacred semen?'
Myco
<G>Of course he did. The more interesting question is:
<G> 'what happened to all that sacred semen?'
Most likely John drank it.
RiffRaff
In article <4oik6p$b...@dub-news-svc-5.compuserve.com>, <<The Bald
Guy>10174...@compuserve.com> wrote:
> Of course he did. The more interesting question is:
> 'what happened to all that sacred semen?'
I bet Mary Magdalene could answer for at least some of it...
--Riff
cds
You are a sicko.
Don Hankins
jh
Beholder
RiffRaff wrote:
>
> In article <4oik6p$b...@dub-news-svc-5.compuserve.com>, <<The Bald
> Guy>10174...@compuserve.com> wrote:
>
> > Of course he did. The more interesting question is:
> > 'what happened to all that sacred semen?'
>
> I bet Mary Magdalene could answer for at least some of it...
>
--
>>> Beholder <<<
PanDuh!
>
> >>In article <4oik6p$b...@dub-news-svc-5.compuserve.com>, <<The Bald
> >>Guy>10174...@compuserve.com> wrote:
> >>
> >>> Of course he did. The more interesting question is:
> >>> 'what happened to all that sacred semen?'
> >>
> >>I bet Mary Magdalene could answer for at least some of it...
> >>
> >You are a sicko.
>
> Why is it atheists have nothing of substance to say?
Why not?
--
PanDuh!
An Engendered Species
http://pages.nyu.edu/~jjs7011
Mark Morrison
>c...@ais.net (cds) wrote:
>>On 4 Jun 1996 03:41:55 GMT, con...@wvnvm.wvnet.edu (RiffRaff) wrote:
>>>In article <4oik6p$b...@dub-news-svc-5.compuserve.com>, <<The Bald
>>>Guy>10174...@compuserve.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Of course he did. The more interesting question is:
>>>> 'what happened to all that sacred semen?'
>>>
>>>I bet Mary Magdalene could answer for at least some of it...
>>>
>>>--Riff
>>You are a sicko.
>Why is it atheists have nothing of substance to say?
You mean like, "There is no god, the bible is nothing but fiction, Jesus
Christ was a con man, and the only reason any religion exists at all is
because people are afraid of what happens to them when they die, and other
people are expertly able to take advantage of that fear" ?
It's less fun.
So what did he use to clean up after Himself? "I seek the Holy Hankie of
Antioch!!"
- Mark
--
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"You can twist perceptions...reality won't budge..." - Rush
jonp...@melbpc.org.au
As Jesus was fully human and most (97%) of teenage boys mastabate I
assume that he did. The question is why does that idea surprise or
offend so many people? God created sexuality and that must mean that
God has a sexual dimension to him... he contains within himself
maleness and femaleness and desire. For God to have created sexual
attraction in us it must first of existed in him. In fact I think the
way God loves us is with strong desire which although not primarliy
sexual is not dissimilar. Jesus would not only have felt those sexual
desires and therefore probably expressed them in masturbation but
have rejoice in the fact that God made him a sexual being, like we all
should. Note I do not think that necessarily says anything about
whether he was celebrate or not - that is a different issue.
...Jon
Sharon Katz
i don't know where you think you got your information but there is NO
goD!
kathy kasten
Excuse me, this subject has nothing to do with the mind control
newsgroup, how about deleting at least 25 of the "post tos".
Unknown
Sharon Katz wrote:
>
> In <4q2smj$9...@wombat.melbpc.org.au> jonp...@melbpc.org.au writes:
> >
> >As Jesus was fully human and most (97%) of teenage boys mastabate I
> >assume that he did. The question is why does that idea surprise or
> >offend so many people? God created sexuality and that must mean that
> >God has a sexual dimension to him... he contains within himself
> >maleness and femaleness and desire. For God to have created sexual
> >attraction in us it must first of existed in him. In fact I think the
> >way God loves us is with strong desire which although not primarliy
> >sexual is not dissimilar. Jesus would not only have felt those sexual
> >desires and therefore probably expressed them in masturbation but
> >have rejoice in the fact that God made him a sexual being, like we all
> >should. Note I do not think that necessarily says anything about
> >whether he was celebrate or not - that is a different issue.
> >
> >...Jon
>
IF GOD CREATED LIFE, JESUS AND THE MASTURBATION... WHO THE FUCK CREATED
GOD????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
/the man, the monster, einsteins brother
Brian Golombek
-------------->Who the fuck cares if Jesus masterbated. He's dead. let him
rest! You should really care if your dad masterbates though... how about mom?
Sam
I have JPEGs of Christ masturbating. Mail me if you want them.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Where am I" - Charlie Chuck. s...@beavis.u-net.com
http://www.u-net.com/~beavis/renstimp.htm
ORGASMIC BOY
na...@webspan.net
Of course Jesus masturbated. Everyone does.
The real question is, was Jesus having sex with John "the beloved
disciple"? Id he wasn't, the Gospel of John shows that "john" at least
was fantisizing about it.
Does God masturbate? In his own way he must. Somehow we must be the
result of this activity.
!
v
In Response to:
James R. Ashley
Mad Hatter wrote:
>
> On 4 Jun 1996 03:41:55 GMT, con...@wvnvm.wvnet.edu (RiffRaff) enlightened us
> with:
>
> >-:In article <4oik6p$b...@dub-news-svc-5.compuserve.com>, <<The Bald
> >-:Guy>10174...@compuserve.com> wrote:
> >-:
> >-:> Of course he did. The more interesting question is:
> >-:> 'what happened to all that sacred semen?'
> >-:
> >-:I bet Mary Magdalene could answer for at least some of it...
> >-:
> >-:--Riff
>
> seems to me this would explain tad-polls
Man, oh, man. I hate getting into religious discussions, even in
person. It's worse than politics. (Though just by a hair). But
I *have* to put in my $0.02 for this particular thread.
By the Bible's definition, I've never seen anything saying that
masturbation, on its own, is a sin. However, it does say that
lusting after a woman is as bad as actually as bad as having
sex with her. Whether that is bad or not depends on which side
you happen to agree with in the "Greater Debate" (which I'm not
about to touch). And it goes on to imply (quite strongly) that
homosexual activities is one of the worst sins, if not the
worst.
To further my little piece of participation: If you accept the
(admittably, arguable) fact of Jesus as the Ultimate Super-
Whamadyne embodiment of all that is holy, then of course he did
not masturbate, because that would have at least hinted at sin.
On the other hand, if you believe Jesus was just a Great Guy
(is there anyone around who still argues whether or not he
existed?), then what do you care? Do you know anyone, no matter
how Great, who hasn't?
I guess that what I'm trying to say is: Either you believe, or you
don't. This particular thread is infinitely worse that speculating
whether or not Elvis was sleeping with Marilyn. The actual question
here is, was, or was not, Elvis the King of Rock'n'Roll. This is an
extremely personal question that each person must decide on his/her
own. Does an immortal soul's fate ride on this question? I'm not
qualified to make an educated opinion.
(No, I'm not agnostic. I have very strong opinions on the matter.
And no one is going to change them, so don't bother trying to
strengthening or fixing them, as the case may be).
But this particular thread offends me, as hard as that is to admit.
For atheists: what do you care?
For Christians: why do you bother deigning with a response? Reach out
and touch those you can. This is *not* the proper media.
For the agnostics: Make up your mind!! Even AC/DC (great band,
horrifying music) tells you to get off your ass and make a
decision. (For you serious youngsters, get "For Those About
to Rock." Even if it corrupts you irrevocably, it's great
rock).
For those of other faiths: Please e-mail me. I'm very convinced
regarding what I believe, but I can't discuss things
intelligently without knowing what you think. (Now *there's*
an eternal conundrum: I cannot give my enemy the conviction
to agree with me without also giving him the ammunition
to convince him to agree with me. However, there are two great
benefits to this strategy. 1) A person who teaches learns
the subject better. 2) How can you possibly convince a
rational man without explaining all the gory details? (I know
from experience that, in this day and age, no one will drop
to his or (especially!!) her knees and beg forgiveness
based upon the fact that I believe.
Anyway, this has gone on much farther than need be.
jimerthy
Library Machine 1
You, my good sir, are a COMPLETE idiot. This is
alt.ATARI.2600, not alt.2600...
Maneki-Neko
http://users.aol.com/grblitz/
ande...@andrews.edu
roger lynn askin
interesting question. More than likely he did, given what I've read about Him. He appears to
be exceedingly human and prone to all that comes with that. God on the other hand is not, in
my way of thinking, human, and, therefore, not capable of masturbating. I happen to agree with
the notion that God holds both masculine and female sensibilities. So, the question becomes,
Is God Gay? Seriously!
