WINNERS! Usenet Kook Awards, October 2006
Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDfy1ZLeh5Q
</music>
The time has come to announce the winners of the September 2006 Usenet
Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
<music>drumroll</music>
KOOK OF THE MONTH
The winner is...TIM BOLEN!
14 votes Tim Bolen
09 votes Warhol
08 votes Dave Moore
00 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Tim! You've been sharing your kookery on behalf of quacks
for years on the web and in email. How kind of you to start sharing it
with us (tinu) on USENET!
CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
The winner is...Disqualified? OOPS!
16 votes Ken Pangborn
03 votes Kurt Gavin
03 votes None of the above
01 votes acytra
My apologies to all the voters. I must have been paying too much attention
to the contents of the COO Beer Cooler when I approved this nomination for
the ballot. It turns out that Kenny Kakes won this award two years ago,
and so he can't win it again. Darn. Two beers to Pope 'Ratz for pointing
this out, a beer for all the voters, and no beer for me!
Even so, it is most amusing that 1) the sage voters of the AUK Kook Awards
were more than happy to vote Kenny Kakes this award again, demonstrating
that USENET's reigning Village Idiot is still utterly clueless, and 2)
Kenny Kakes himself never caught the mistake, even with the ballot right in
front of him, thus completely missing a chance to gloat and claim
"victolly!" (BTW, Kenny Kakes, you missed your chance. Too late!) Such
incredible cluelessness and lamery deserves recognition. I shall change
sombreros some hours from now to post a few appropriate nominations.
As for the results of the vote, Kurt Gavin and None of the above tied, so
there is no clear eligible winner. Consequently, there will be a run off
election between the two remaining eligible candidates.
COWARD OF THE MONTH
The winner is...ANDREW CHUNG!
12 votes Andrew Chung
08 votes Pamela Russell
05 votes Jonathan Kamens
00 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Dr. Chung! You must think that running away from tough
questions is a wonderful witness for the Lord.
LOONEY MAROON AWARD
The winner is...ANDRE LIEVEN!
14 votes Andre Lieven
10 votes Tim Bolen
08 votes Warhol
01 votes Sampath
00 votes None of the above
Congratulations, Andre! You must be really looney to have beaten out both
this month's Kook of the Month and Warhol the Mad Moor, someone so known
for bad ideas that he has won awards for both weird science and weird
religion.
GOLDEN KILLFILE
The winner is...ALT.RELIGION.ISLAM FLAMEWAR PARTICIPANTS!
18 votes alt.religion.islam flamewar participants
01 votes Sampath
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, anti-Islamic bigots and lamers! You worked so hard to get
Arash of alt.religion.islam a kook award. Instead, you got your nomination
of Arash rejected, convinced anyone with a clue to throw all of you into
their bozo bins, and won a kook award for yourselves. Good going! *golf
clap*
JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD
The winner is...ANDREW CHUNG!
20 votes Andrew Chung
08 votes Tim Bolen
06 votes Andre Lieven
00 votes gb6724
00 votes None of the above
Congratulations again, Dr. Chung! <Dr. Phil>I hear you're trying to
convince the kookologists that you are the personification of Christ's love
for sinners. How's that working out for you?</Dr. Phil>
BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...CONNOR_A!
17 votes YES
02 votes NO
Congratulations, rape advocate! You really do a great job of representing
the essence of soc.men, including snapping at the most naked hooks dropped
in front of you by the regulars of AUK.
PALMJOB PADDLE
The winner is...RICHARD "TEH ST00PID" BULLIS!
19 votes Richard "teh St00pid" Bullis
11 votes Tim Bolen
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, St00pid! Presenting you with your fifth Palmjob Paddle
and your 29th USENET Kook Award really makes a great opening for my reign
as Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler. So, St00pid, did you manage to set
a record for being the most SPNAKED ko0k in the history of USENET?
TONY SIDAWAY "DRAMA QUEEN" AWARD
The winner is...PL!
09 votes PL
07 votes Martha Vandella
02 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, PL! I'm sure what convinced the voters to choose you over
the melodramatic Martha Vandella were the even more ridiculous rants and
fake nominations you posted /after/ you were nominated. That shows there's
nothing like a good campaign for winning awards.
GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
The winner is...ANDRE LIEVEN!
17 votes Andre Lieven
14 votes Tim Bolen
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations again, Poutine for Brains! Say hi to Chicken Dickie
Scoville up there on Cemetary Ridge for us (tinu). It seems he hasn't come
back down yet.
GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER "KICKED @$$" AWARD
The winner is...TIM BOLEN!
24 votes YES
00 votes NO
Congratulations again, Tim! You must really attracting attention with your
k'lames of "victolly" on behalf of the quacks and spammers in NANAE. You
managed to garner more votes for this award than any other award winner
this month. I haven't seen such enthusiasm for a kook since you won the
Balsa Gavel last month.
UNABOMBER SURPRISE
The winner is...ALEXA CAMERON!
18 votes Alexa Cameron
01 votes gb6724
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations to my favorite alien abductee! You've been known as the
Queen of Screed for years. Now, you have the award to prove it!
GOOFY AZZED BABBOON
The winner is...CLETIS PERKINS POSTING AS MARK DUFOUR!
10 votes Cletis Perkins posting as Mark Dufour
06 votes [hanson]
01 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Compost! In honor of your notorious racism, I thought it
would be ironically appropriate to see what one of your filthy bigoted
rants would read like if delivered in the style of Snoop Dogg. Click on
the link!
I think the gizooglized version of your schtick is a vast improvement.
72 RAISINS "CRACKPOT RELIGION" AWARD
The winner is...LUCIFER MORNING STAR ANGEL OF DEATH!
18 votes YES
00 votes NO
Congralations, Bearer of Light...Headedness! Never have I seen a kook
devise a theology from such outlandishly imcompatible sources.
KENNY MCCORMICK MEMORIAL MEDAL
The winner is...STEVEN RAY WINTER!
15 votes YES
00 votes NO
Congratulations, Steebie! How the kookologists managed to miss that you
have been TOSed from so many ISPs and NSPs for so long is a wonder!
BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG-WHISTLE AWARD
The winner is...KEN PANGBORN, TRAINED BY AUK!
17 votes Ken Pangborn, trained by AUK as a whole
09 votes Raymond Karczewski trained by Chadwick Stone
00 votes Neither of the above
Congratulations, Kenny Kakes! You have the dubious distinction of being
the trained bitch of an entire newsgroup. Now, fetch!
PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is...SPOOGE!
18 votes YES
02 votes NO
All Hail Spooge! All Hail Petitmorte!
OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
The winner is...TOM BISHOP!
15 votes Tom Bishop
11 votes Andrew Chung
04 votes Richard Scoville
Congratulations, Tosser, for beating both the incumbent and one of the big
w(h)inners of the month. My your term be long and lachrymose!
<music>The Internet is for Porn
http://youtube.com/watch?v=bW3kY1GtlYw
</music>
MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
The winner is...THE BIG-8 MANAGEMENT BOARD!
15 votes The Big-8 Management Board
09 votes The Blankverse Peon, Will Dockery, Tom Bishop, and Cyborga
of rec.arts.poems
Congratulations, Team Calvin! How goes the proposal to create your own
private clubhouse group for proposals, just so something like
soc.men.moderated can never happen again?
This concludes the announcement of the winners of the October 2006
Usenet Kook Awards. Thirty-seven people submitted thirty-seven ballots.
All thirty-seven were deemed valid and were counted.
See you all early next month, when the all the Americans will have become
sick and tired of turkey and nearly everyone reading will have frantically
begun their Christmas shopping.
Until then, enjoy and all hail Ming, Bob, and Fluffy!
<music>"Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley
http://youtube.com/watch?v=7q-o7VUNsYE
</music>
--
Nominations and Official FAQ for alt.usenet.kooks -
http://www.netcabal.com/auk
Kadaitcha Man
wagoner, muddled:
> 03 votes Kurt Gavin
> 03 votes None of the above
> As for the results of the vote, Kurt Gavin and None of the above
> tied, so there is no clear eligible winner. Consequently, there will
> be a run off election between the two remaining eligible candidates.
ROFL
--
alt.usenet.kooks - Pierre Salinger Memorial Hook, Line & Sinker:
September 2005 and April 2006
"K-Man's particular genius, however, lies not merely in his humour,
but his ability to make posters who had previously seemed reasonably
well-balanced turn into foaming, frothing, death threat-uttering
maniacs" - Snarky, Demon Lord of Confusion
Thou swasher. All that is within him does condemn itself for being
there.
Kadaitcha Man
> GOLDEN KILLFILE
>
> The winner is...ALT.RELIGION.ISLAM FLAMEWAR PARTICIPANTS!
>
> 18 votes alt.religion.islam flamewar participants
> 01 votes Sampath
> 01 votes Neither of the above
>
> Congratulations, anti-Islamic bigots and lamers! You worked so hard
> to get Arash of alt.religion.islam a kook award. Instead, you got
> your nomination of Arash rejected, convinced anyone with a clue to
> throw all of you into their bozo bins, and won a kook award for
> yourselves. Good going! *golf clap*
Appropriate group added.
--
alt.usenet.kooks - Pierre Salinger Memorial Hook, Line & Sinker:
September 2005 and April 2006
"K-Man's particular genius, however, lies not merely in his humour,
but his ability to make posters who had previously seemed reasonably
well-balanced turn into foaming, frothing, death threat-uttering
maniacs" - Snarky, Demon Lord of Confusion
Thou idle old man. Thou rotten, indecent all in all spleen and nothing
of a man.
The Lord of Fair Punishments
"Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler" <poll...@netcabal.com> wrote in
message news:Xns987626CC5687Bpi...@204.153.244.170...
> <music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDfy1ZLeh5Q
> </music>
>
> The time has come to announce the winners of the September 2006 Usenet
> Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
American people just had the best Election Day they've had for past 12
years. Time for your little self-promoting kooks get some life?
The Lord of Fair Punishments
"Kadaitcha Man" <fuck-you...@kiss-my-big-black-ass.com> wrote in
message news:eiut4l$ddu$1...@blackhelicopter.databasix.com...
> Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler <poll...@netcabal.com>, the herbal
> wagoner, muddled:
>
>> 03 votes Kurt Gavin
>> 03 votes None of the above
>
>> As for the results of the vote, Kurt Gavin and None of the above
>> tied, so there is no clear eligible winner. Consequently, there will
>> be a run off election between the two remaining eligible candidates.
>
> ROFL
These four letters look like a big nose with hairs grow out of it.
The Lord of Fair Punishments
saleswoman, stuttered:
> Yes, but life is a challenge in general.
krp
"Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler" <poll...@netcabal.com> wrote in
message news:Xns987626CC5687Bpi...@204.153.244.170...
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDfy1ZLeh5Q
> </music>
>
> The time has come to announce the winners of the September 2006 Usenet
> Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
So the inmates in AUK can feel good about themselves. The awards is the Only
way they can!
Daedalus
Hey Kenny.
I heard that the Commies turned Cuba into a dump. Care to respond to
that?
Jade
The Demon Prince of Absurdity
screamed:
> krp has entered into testimony
>> "Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler" wrote...
>>> <music>"20th Century Fox Fanfare"
>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDfy1ZLeh5Q </music>
>>>
>>> The time has come to announce the winners of the September 2006 Usenet
>>> Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
>>
>> So the inmates in AUK can feel good about themselves. The awards is the
>> Only way they can!
>
> CNotM.
However, his acceptance speech for the BWMDW (speaking as his nominator)
is APPORVEDEST!
--
________________________________________________________________________
Hail Eris! TM#5; COOSN-029-06-71069
Cardinal Snarky of the Fannish Inquisition
http://www6.kingdomofloathing.com/login.php
http://www.runescape.com/
No one expects the Fannish Inquisition!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Cabal_of_the_Holy_Pretzel/join
I own "James C Cracked is God!!!":
MID: <1161060410.7...@i42g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>
"Q: How many Bush administration officials does it take to change a
light bulb?
A: None. There is no need to change anything. We made the right decision
to stick with that light bulb. People who say that it is burned out are
giving aid and encouragement to the Forces of Darkness." -- Anon.
"Etymology:
Argumentum ad Septicus : argument to putrefaction. Derived from Septicum
Argumentum : putrefaction of argument.
"Septic \Sep"tic\, Septical \Sep"tic*al\
a. [L. septicus to make putrid: cf. F. septique.]
Having power to promote putrefaction. Of or relating to or
caused by putrefaction." -- Kadaitcha Man, indirectly to
Donald "Skeptic"/"Septic" Alford, in MID: <a3svh.d...@news.alt.net>
"I never fail to be amazing" -- Looney Maroon for September 2006 nominee
William Barwell's ego knows no bounds. MID:
12ggt3q...@corp.supernews.com
"We are most nearly ourselves when we achieve the seriousness of the
child at play." -- Heraclitus
"And thats another mistake on your part. Your 'playing' games on usenet,
and I'm not playing...It has nothing to do with impressing you, it has
more to do with making sure you have the education you'll need to debate.
The debate is no fun for me if you are mentally incapable of it. I'm
giving you an opportunity to educate yourself. That's all." -- A trashy
former virus-writer turned Outer Filth doesn't know if he's playing or
working, in MID: <1159389579....@e3g2000cwe.googlegroups.com>
"I am incapable of original thoughts" -- Ctrl¤/Alt¤/Del¤ has an honest
moment, in MID: <0h59i25ejlthqeeit...@4ax.com>
"But now the end is near. Now Mark Foley comes along and is making
almost all liberal dreams come true and seriously, I'm sorry for it.
See, I believe in karma. I believe what comes around goes around and I
know full well that it's just bad juju to wish such a level of turmoil
and ill upon other humans, warmongering gay-hating maladroits or no, and
that the real path of enlightenment is paved with forgiveness and
progress and white-hot love and turning the other cheek and scotch.
"In fact, Jesus said something about that, I do believe. He said, "Knock
it off already with the warmongering and the hating of each other and
let's all get some wine and party like it's 2012." Then again, he never
saw Karl Rove stab the nation with the dull ice pick of bogus fear. He
never heard George W. Bush describe brutal war and the death of tens of
thousands as "just a comma" in world history.
"Check that. Maybe I'm not so sorry after all." -- Mark Morford,
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/gate/archive/2006/10/11/
notes101106.DTL&nl=fix
http://tinyurl.com/kusmr
krp
"Chadwick StoneŠ" <chad_...@127.0.0.1> wrote in message
news:SQW4h.658962$Pi2.1...@fe08.news.easynews.com...
>>>
>>> The time has come to announce the winners of the September 2006
>>> Usenet Kook Awards. Envelopes, please!
>>
>> So the inmates in AUK can feel good about themselves. The awards is
>> the Only way they can!
>
> CNotM.
Chad like I said those "awards" are the ONLY way you losers can feel good
about yourselves.
krp
> ONE THING IS FOR SURE - IF YOU ARE A REGULAR IN ALT USENET KOOKS YOU
> NEVER HAD A WET DREAM! AS IS TYPICAL FROM ALTERNATE KOOKS THAT IS A
> LOAD OF SHIT! HE LOVES PLAYING THE ROLE OF DRAMA QUEEN ON USENET.
> WHY SHOULD I WASTE MY TIME DOING A FOOL'S ERRAND KNOWING YOU'D ONLY
> DEMAND THAT IT BE AUTHENTICATED. AND THEN DENY THAT! YOU ARE SUCH A
> RAVING DICK YOU ARE A WASTE OF DNA! THAT IS YOUR HANGOUT. IN YOUR
> LITTLE "TESTICLE FREE ZONE!" JUST YOUR OBSESSION WIT TRYING TO RUN
> THE PLACE AND YOPUR SANCTIMONEOUS JUDGEMENTALISM. GOD WHAT A FUKKING
> IDIOT YOU ARE!!
krp
"Chadwick Stonebrain IVŠ" <chad_...@127.0.0.1> wrote in message
news:qh%4h.225186$Mn2.1...@fe02.news.easynews.com...
> When was the last time you could see your balls without using a mirror,
> KennyKakes?
Tell me Chad, didn't you get your ass handed to you badly enough over
your CUBA adventure?
krp
"Chadwick StoneŠ" <chad_...@127.0.0.1> wrote in message
news:RYa5h.245458$bL1....@fe04.news.easynews.com...
>> Tell me Chad, didn't you get your ass handed to you badly enough
>> over your CUBA adventure?
>
> Not only are you fat, so are your projections :)
Do you REALLY thiunk you "won" that round Chad?
krp
> THINK YOU CAN MAKE PEOPLE FORGET ABOUT YOUR GAFFE WITH MR. HOLKADE THE
> STREET IF YOU BURYING IT UNDER ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT SPAM? IN THIS
> CASE, LITTLE WANNABE BULLY, YOU ARE BEING SHOWN TO THE WORLD FOR WHAT
> YOU ARE. ALONG WITH THE REST OF HIS DELUSIONS. BUT THE POINT HERE
> IS THAT EVEN IF I HAD IT -- YOU BEING THE LITTLE PRICK YOU ARE AND
> WILL ALWAYS BE WOULD DENY IT. YOUR ALPHA MALE ACT IS TOO FUNNY.
> THAT IS WHY, I SUPPOSE, YOU FOLKS BELIEVE YOU ARE SO "SUPERIOR" TO
> OTHERS ON THE NET!
> BUT I AM REALLY EXPECTING AN ASSHOLE LIKE YOU TO COME UP WITH SOME
> NOVEL BULLSHIT.
krp
>>>> Tell me Chad, didn't you get your ass handed to you badly enough
>>>> over your CUBA adventure?
>>>
>>> Not only are you fat, so are your projections :)
>>
>> Do you REALLY think you "won" that round Chad?
>
> You must believe that to be the case, you had to snip the comment which
> started your widdle temper tantrum. That snip has been defeated, btw :)
> Just trying to be helpful <smirk>
Chad you and the rest of the AUK cretins are jokes. You ass was handed
to you. ALl you have is your silly little adolescent "awards" in a vain
attempt to make yourselves seem important and something other than the
losers you really are!
Art Deco
>> JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD
>>
>> The winner is...ANDREW CHUNG!
>>
>> 20 votes Andrew Chung
>> 08 votes Tim Bolen
>> 06 votes Andre Lieven
>> 00 votes gb6724
>> 00 votes None of the above
>>
>> Congratulations again, Dr. Chung! <Dr. Phil>I hear you're trying to
>> convince the kookologists that you are the personification of
>> Christ's love for sinners. How's that working out for you?</Dr. Phil>
>
>So this is what happens when a cardiologist becomes a k0oK. Tsk tsk
>tsk...
Classic unsubstantiated and erroneous claim that Fraudi is actually a
cardiologist.
--
COOSN-266-06-39716
Official Overseer of Kooks and Saucerheads in alt.astronomy
Official Associate AFA-B Vote Rustler
Official "Usenet psychopath and born-again LLPOF minion",
as designated by Brad Guth
"Who is "David Tholen", Daedalus? Still suffering from
attribution problems?"
-- Dr. David Tholen
krp
>>
>> Chad you and the rest of the AUK cretins are jokes.
>
> chubby. <chortle>
>
>> Your ass was handed to you.
>
> You were determined to be a fraud by default. You never presented
> evidence that was corroborated by an impartial third party expert as
> authentic that your alleged trip to purchase a mail order bride ever
> happened.
http://www.krpconsulting.net/trips_to_cuba.html
The PROOF is there. All you have are your LIES Chad. No "mail order
bride" Chad, just more of you showing the world what a vulgar little jackass
you are along with the rest of your k00k possey! The images prove SEVERAL
trips to Cuba to anyone "NORMAL" there k00klah!
Art Deco
>"Chadwick StoneŠ" <chad_...@127.0.0.1> wrote in message
>news:_Pw5h.255623$R52.2...@fe07.news.easynews.com...
>>>
>>> Chad you and the rest of the AUK cretins are jokes.
>>
>> The laughter you hear is not from those who are laughing *with* you,
>> chubby. <chortle>
>>
>>> Your ass was handed to you.
>>
>> You were determined to be a fraud by default. You never presented
>> evidence that was corroborated by an impartial third party expert as
>> authentic that your alleged trip to purchase a mail order bride ever
>> happened.
>
>
>
>
> The PROOF is there. All you have are your LIES Chad. No "mail order
>bride" Chad, just more of you showing the world what a vulgar little jackass
>you are along with the rest of your k00k possey! The images prove SEVERAL
>trips to Cuba to anyone "NORMAL" there k00klah!
I see no proof, KENNY KAKES.
Art Deco
>krp wrote:
>> Chadwick wrote:
>> > krp wrote:
>> >>
>> >> Chad you and the rest of the AUK cretins are jokes.
>> >
>> > The laughter you hear is not from those who are laughing *with* you,
>> > chubby. <chortle>
>
>"Written laughter is silent despair." -- Holy Spirit
hahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahh
Liar.
>
>Amen.
>
>> >> Your ass was handed to you.
>> >
>> > You were determined to be a fraud by default. You never presented
>> > evidence that was corroborated by an impartial third party expert as
>> > authentic that your alleged trip to purchase a mail order bride ever
>> > happened.
>>
>> http://www.krpconsulting.net/trips_to_cuba.html
>>
>> The PROOF is there. All you have are your LIES Chad. No "mail order
>> bride" Chad, just more of you showing the world what a vulgar little jackass
>> you are along with the rest of your k00k possey! The images prove SEVERAL
>> trips to Cuba to anyone "NORMAL" there k00klah!
>
>Your boldness can only come from knowing and siding with the truth.
hahahahaahhahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahah
Oh this is precious -- Fraudi and KENNY KAKES in full slurp.
[screed flushed]
Kali
Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler poll...@netcabal.com said:
[...]
: This concludes the announcement of the winners of the October 2006
: Usenet Kook Awards. Thirty-seven people submitted thirty-seven ballots.
: All thirty-seven were deemed valid and were counted.
THIS ANNOUNCEMENT IS APPROVED.
Your FNVW cherry is b0rked, congratulations :)
: See you all early next month, when the all the Americans will have become
: sick and tired of turkey and nearly everyone reading will have frantically
: begun their Christmas shopping.
Bah humbug, but bring on the turkey and the kooks.
: Until then, enjoy and all hail Ming, Bob, and Fluffy!
ACHTUNG!
: <music>"Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley
: http://youtube.com/watch?v=7q-o7VUNsYE
: </music>
Psychedelic!
Kali
--
"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called
research, would it?"
- Albert Einstein
Pinku-Sensei
news:4uK4h.10063$Wd5.5495@trnddc05:
Wow, Kenny Kakes, you made things easy for me in more ways than one. I
was going to have to follow up to my own post as Vote Wrangler, which
would not have been the best form, especially for a nomination post.
Instead, you responded, so I could nominate you in your presence.
Nothing like having the proper evidence on display for a proper
nomination. Thank you!
Since you've responded, here is the part that you apparently didn't even
bother to read. It turns out to have been the section in which, if you
were a compentent laming net-kook, you'd have at least attempted to
gloat over. But you don't even seem capable of identifying the most
relevant passage of what you're reading, and thus trying to snatch some
small victory from the mistakes of others. Tsk, tsk.
> CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
>
> The winner is...Disqualified? OOPS!
First opportunity to point and laugh missed.
> 16 votes Ken Pangborn
> 03 votes Kurt Gavin
> 03 votes None of the above
> 01 votes acytra
>
> My apologies to all the voters. I must have been paying too much
> attention to the contents of the COO Beer Cooler when I approved this
> nomination for the ballot. It turns out that Kenny Kakes won this
> award two years ago, and so he can't win it again. Darn. Two beers
> to Pope'Ratz for pointing this out, a beer for all the voters, and no
> beer for me!
Second opportunity to point and laugh missed.
> Even so, it is most amusing that 1) the sage voters of the AUK Kook
> Awards were more than happy to vote Kenny Kakes this award again,
> that USENET's reigning Village Idiot is still utterly clueless, and 2)
> Kenny Kakes himself never caught the mistake, even with the ballot
> right in front of him, thus completely missing a chance to gloat and
> claim"victolly!"
Third chance to point and laugh missed. How lame.
>(BTW, Kenny Kakes, you missed your chance. Too late!)
Not that I would have expected you to follow directions. Even so,
fourth chance to point and laugh missed. You really are an incompetent
adversary.
> Such
> incredible cluelessness and lamery deserves recognition. I shall
> change sombreros some hours from now to post a few appropriate
> nominations.
It's been more than a few hours (fifth chance to point and laugh
missed--Kenny Kakes doesn't catch much, does he?), but I've finally
changed sombreros to nominate the current Village Idiot of USENET for
two more awards to honor his ability to earn twice the number of votes
of all other choices combined, even when it was known that he was
ineligible--such a vote of confidence in your cluelessness, Kenny Kakes!
First up, the Looney Maroon Award
The Looney Maroon Award is given based on the amount of childish,
nonsensical, funny and downright ludicrous behaviour exhibited over a
particular month. It is not meant to award the greatest overall Kook for
that time, but is meant as a recognition of outstandingly looney
behaviour by an individual or group, real or anonymous, animate or
robotic. Nominees from Usenet and beyond are eligible.
To win the LMA, a candidate must most strongly meet a majority of the
following criteria:
* Show intelligence off the deep end of the bell curve
Yes
* Consistently say things that are hideously nonsensical
Yes
* Prove themselves wrong while pretending to be an 'expert'
Yes (So, Kenny Kakes, what do you really know about Cuba?)
* Exhibit a passion for metaphorically banging their head against a wall
This seems to be a requirement to serve in the garrison of Fort
Machismo, so yes.
* Be profoundly ignorant
This also seems to be a requirement for the soc.fr00ts, so yes again.
* Persistently refuse to allow themselves to be enlightened
The judgement of AUK that you're still spectacularly clueless is
evidence of this.
* Demonstrate a gift for false prophecy
Hmm. How many times have you declared that AUK will 'get theirs' or the
equivalent?
* Regularly cite questionable sources of information as 'fact'
Another endemic trait of the circle jerkers of soc.men, so another yes.
Next up, the Joseph Bartlo "Pathetic Anal Pineapple" Award
The "Jojo Pineapple" is awarded every month to the Usenet poster who
best establishes a pattern of stupidity, idiocy, moronism, silliness,
cretinism and general kookery in a way exemplified by the eponymous
founder of this award, Joseph "Foamboi" Bartlo.
Believe it or not, Kenny Kakes has never won either of these awards for
which cluelessness and stupidity are major qualifiers.
http://netcabal.com/auk/kookle.php?search=pangborn
Kenneth R Pangborn
Kook of the Month, September 2000
Clueless Newbie of the Month, November 2004
Tony Sidaway Memorial "Drama Queen" Award, June 2006
Bolo Bullis Foam Duck #12
Kluck Lysaght "Tar & Feathers" Award
Kook Chess Set, Red King
Michael Newton & Kenneth R Pangborn
Golden Killfile, November 1999
Busted Urinal Award
Oh, and let's (tinu) not forget this one.
Kenneth R Pangborn, trained by AUK as a whole
Barbara Woodhouse Memorial Dog Whistle
I think it's time we (tinw) give Kenny Kakes an opportunity to win all
the AUK awards given for spectacularly stupid ko0kery.
I nominate Ken "Kenny Kakes" Pangborn for the Looney Maroon for November
2006.
Seconds?
I also nominate Ken "Kenny Kakes" Pangborn for the Joseph Bartlo
"Pathetic Anal Pineapple" Award for November 2006.
Seconds?
--
Pinku-Sensei
http://netcabal.com/auk
Art Deco
krp
"Pinku-Sensei" <pinku-...@netcabal.com> wrote in message
news:Xns987A506F93A9pi...@204.153.244.170...
>> So the inmates in AUK can feel good about themselves. The awards is
>> the Only way they can!
>
> Wow, Kenny Kakes, you made things easy for me in more ways than one. I
> was going to have to follow up to my own post as Vote Wrangler, which
> would not have been the best form, especially for a nomination post.
> Instead, you responded, so I could nominate you in your presence.
> Nothing like having the proper evidence on display for a proper
> nomination. Thank you!
If it grows hair on your chest and you can feel "important" go for it.
You twerps have made yourself irrelevant. Kooks calling others kooks and
making up awards. What grade are you in?
krp
"Art Deco" <er...@netcabal.com> wrote in message
news:121120061342286122%er...@netcabal.com...
> I see nothing, KENNY KAKES.
Of course not Sergeant Schultz!
krp
> That is YOUR k0oKsite, KRaP, not an impartial third party's website.
> Additionally, your "evidence" has not been independently reviewed by an
> unbiased expert.
Chad - you need serious mental health intervention.
krp
> WHEN YOU'RE RIGHT YOU'RE RIGHT. HOWEVER NEVER WRITE OFF SOLELY TO
> SEXUAL IMPOTENCE WHAT STUPIDITY ALSO EXPLAINS. OUR PITIFUL MALE EGO
> PISSING CONTESTS DO IT FOR YOU. JUST YOUR DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR.
> YOU ARE THE ONLY LIVING BRAIN DONOR IN THE WORLD.
krp
> WOULD HE THINK I WAS CUTTING IN ON HIS MAJOR LOVE INTEREST WITH YOU?
> HOW OLD ARE YOU? 13? ANOTHER EXCUSE FOR COVERING THAT THE CLAIMS YOU
> MAKE ARE BULLSHIT EH?
> CARE TO APOLOGIZE NOW DIPSHIT?
krp
cardboard into the machine that makes boxes, fawned:
> POOR POOR DAVEY SUCH A FAILURE IN LIFE. KICKED OUT BY HIS WIFE, FORCED
> TO LIVE WITH HIS MOMMY! YOU GUYS ARE A BUNCH OF ILL MANNER CHILDREN.
> EVEN WHEN I WAS A KID IN SCHOOL WE GET FED A DAILY DOES OF IT. "MALES
> ARE ONLY INTERESTED IN ONE THING." AND SO ON. THERE ARE SEVERAL
> USERS, LIKE MIGUEL, WHO HAVE RELATIVES IN THE SAME AREA I DO, AND WHO
> KNOW MY FAMILY AND WHO KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN THERE. SO AS YOU TRY TO
> BULLYBOI YOUR WAY AROUND YOU ARE MERELY DIGGING A HOLE FOR YOURSELF AS
> A STALKER. AND AUK AS A STARKER NEWSGROUP. TALK ABOUT IRONY.
Andrew B. Chung, MD/PhD
> "Chadwick Stone©" <chad_...@127.0.0.1> wrote in message
Neighbor Chad remains convicted by the Holy Spirit:
http://HeartMDPhD.com/Convicts
Fear GOD and dread nothing that is of this world:
http://MabletonGA.OurLittle.net/DreadNought
Prayerfully in Christ's amazing love,
Andrew <><
--
Andrew B. Chung
Cardiologist, Atlanta, Georgia, USA
http://HeartMDPhD.com/HolySpirit
As for knowing who are the very elect, these you will know by the
unconditional love they have for everyone including their enemies
(Matthew 5:44-45, 1 Corinthians 13:3, James 2:14-17).
http://HeartMDPhD.com/Love
Aratzio
transparently proposed:
>
>"Pinku-Sensei" <pinku-...@netcabal.com> wrote in message
>news:Xns987A506F93A9pi...@204.153.244.170...
>
>>> So the inmates in AUK can feel good about themselves. The awards is
>>> the Only way they can!
>>
>> Wow, Kenny Kakes, you made things easy for me in more ways than one. I
>> was going to have to follow up to my own post as Vote Wrangler, which
>> would not have been the best form, especially for a nomination post.
>> Instead, you responded, so I could nominate you in your presence.
>> Nothing like having the proper evidence on display for a proper
>> nomination. Thank you!
>
> If it grows hair on your chest
A real turn off for Kenny Kakes, he likes his bo^h^hmen bare chested.
> and you can feel "important" go for it.
Which is better than your "impotence"
>You twerps have made yourself irrelevant.
So irrelevant you whine, plead and froth after each and every post
until you realize jus how stupid you look, drop the thread and begin
frothing elsewhere.
> Kooks calling others kooks and making up awards. What grade are you in?
At least we attended school rather than purchaing a faux diploma from
a faux school in Britain. How stupid do you feel about wasting your
money on that one?
>
--
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Art Deco
Art Deco
Text Medium No. 5
> "Chadwick StoneŠ" wrote...
>
>> That is YOUR k0oKsite, KRaP, not an impartial third party's website.
>> Additionally, your "evidence" has not been independently reviewed by an
>> unbiased expert.
>
> Chad - you need serious mental health intervention.
Yeah, right. After all, "everyone knows" Kenneth Robert Pangborn is as
honest as the day is long, right, Mr. Diploma Mill Lawyer?
--
Shon'ai COOSN-029-06-71069
"I was told there would be cookies."
Cross-Poasters For Goddess!
Remember: Straight people can't help it!
A petition to make the Five-Fingered Hand of Eris
the official symbol for the planet Eris:
http://www.petitiononline.com/ffhoeris/
"If you don't have pedicures AT LEAST every two weeks, don't talk to me.
If you don't floss every night and morning and brush at least twice a
day, don't talk to me. If you don't spend money on you hair and get
great cuts and color, don't talk to me. If you are heavy, don't talk to
me. If you don't shower every morning and take a nice bubble bath every
night, don't talk to me. If you don't have a loved one in your arms,
don't talk to me. If you don't keep an immaculate house, don't talk to
me. If you don't work, don't talk to me." -- Clearly, Martha Vandella
never wants to talk to me, which is for the best, really.
MID: <1161934857....@i42g2000cwa.googlegroups.com>
krp
>>> That is YOUR k0oKsite, KRaP, not an impartial third party's website.
>>> Additionally, your "evidence" has not been independently reviewed by
>>> an unbiased expert.
>>
>> Chad - you need serious mental health intervention.
>
> Wow, whaddah witty retort! Did you rehearse that before posting,
> KennyKakes?
PL was impartial until you started attacking him. That's you way k00k. The
little boy with his fingers in his ears humming loudly.
krp
> BUT YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED THAT OUT YET HAVE YOU, MORON? AND THAT,
> ASSHAT, WOULD BE? A NOTE FROM YOUR MOMMY? A REASONABLE PERSON WOULD
> ASCRIBE THE AMBIENT IQ IN AN EMPTY ROOM AS BEING + - 0. I AM GOING
> TO SAY THIS ONE LAST TIME. YOU CAN DANCE, YOU CAN WIGGLE YOU CAN
> SING THE BLUES. YOU HAVEN'T A CLUE DO YOU?
krp
>> PL was impartial until you started attacking him. That's you way
>> k00k. The little boy with his fingers in his ears humming loudly.
>
> Boohoo, KrybabyKakes. He reacted in k0oK fashion and was treated
> thusly. Hell, isn't it?
Nice game Chad - anyone who disagrees with your screed openly is "responding
in k00K fashion" and must be treated as such. Nice gig to be judge, jury and
executioner in your own little fiefdom there k00klah! That way nobody can
ever prove how wrong and full of shit you are. What grade did you say you
were in, infant?
krp
>> What grade did you say you were in, infant?
>
> Infants don't attend grade school, dumbass. Gawd, you can't even
> construct a sensible flame.
In the law, k00k, children in elementary schools are classified as
"infants." I suppose it also applies to retardates like you.