Bawdy Songs of WWII
Fred Hessel
toasts/curses?
Here is an old curse from WWII...
HEIL HITLER!
Here's to Hitler, on his last hitch
We are after him now the son of a bitch
His cock will hang like a rotten banana
When he hears us whistle "The Star Spangled Banner"
Does anyone remember how the rest goes? And does anyone remember any
bawdy songs & doggerel from WWII?
--
Diogenes
(Fred Hessel) wrote:
>Does anyone remember bawdy songs from World War II? Bawdy
>toasts/curses?
>
>Here is an old curse from WWII...
>
> HEIL HITLER!
>
>Here's to Hitler, on his last hitch
>We are after him now the son of a bitch
>His cock will hang like a rotten banana
>When he hears us whistle "The Star Spangled Banner"
The way I learned it as a kid was (with one line missing):
Here's to Hitler, the sonofabitch,
May his balls be infected with the seven year itch.
May his cock be twisted in such a manner
That his asshole will whistle "The Star Spangled Banner".
We'll go to his house and shit on the floor
And hang Old Glory over the door.
???????????????
And wipe our ass on the Nazi flag.
Who remembers the missing line in the second stanza??
--
Diogenes (cdh...@hotmail.com)
The wars are long, the peace is frail
The madmen come again . . . .
--
Don Phillipson
news:aqs1oc$1sci$1...@nntp6.u.washington.edu...
> . . . and does anyone remember any
> bawdy songs & doggerel from WWII?
The best collection appears to be
Anthony Hopkins, Songs from the Front
and Rear (Hurtig, Canada, 1979)
--
Don Phillipson
Carlsbad Springs (Ottawa, Canada)
dphil...@trytel.com.com.com.less2
--
Cub Driver
I was spared that one; it was a much more innocent time.
There was a Spike Jones record called as I recall In Der Furhrer's
Face.
One of the stanzas went:
And when Herr Goebbels says
'They'll never bomb this place!"
We'll go oomph-bah, oomph-bah [Bronx cheer]
Right in Herr Gobbels face!
all the best -- Dan Ford (email: cub06h AT eudoramail.com)
see the Warbird's Forum at http://www.danford.net
Vietnam | Flying Tigers | Pacific War | Brewster Buffalo | Piper Cub
--
Lech K. Lesiak
On 12 Nov 2002, Fred Hessel wrote:
> Does anyone remember bawdy songs from World War II? Bawdy
> toasts/curses?
I learned them in Air Cadets in the 50's.
To the tune of Col Bogey:
Hitler has only got one ball
Stalin has two, but they are small
Himmler is somewhat similar
But poor old Go-balls has no balls at all!
Then there were the 400 known stanzas of "The North Atlantic
Squadron".
Cheers,
Lech
Bill MacArthur
>
> The best collection appears to be
> Anthony Hopkins, Songs from the Front
> and Rear (Hurtig, Canada, 1979)
I think the most famous is "The North Atlantic Squadron"
Away, away with fife drum,
Looking for women to pedal their bum,
Full of the devil and navy rum,
We're the North Atlantic Squadron.
and everybody remembers the verse:
The cabin boy, the cabin boy,
The dirty little nipper,
Lined his ass, with broken glass,
And circumsized the skipper.
Stompin' Tom Connors wrote a clean version of the song because a
friend suggested it was great tune. The aforementioned verse went
something like:
The cabin boy, the cabin boy,
The dirty little nipper,
He stole the pearls from all the girls,
And planted them on the skipper.
As much as I like Stompin' Tom the original's better.
--
Tim Watkins
> There was a Spike Jones record called as I recall In Der Furhrer's
> Face.
Yes, recorded during WW II by Spike Jones and his City Slickers, and
also recorded by Arthur Fields with Orchestra (from the Walt Disney
film "In Nutty Land"), to name 2 artists that recorded this song. I
have the orginal 78 rpm platter by Arthur Fields, but the Spike Jones
rendition of this song is, IMHO, funnier.
> One of the stanzas went:
> And when Herr Goebbels says
> 'They'll never bomb this place!"
> We'll go oomph-bah, oomph-bah [Bronx cheer]
> Right in Herr Gobbels face!
The stanza above is a reference to Goering, not Goebbels. Does
anybody recall the story that Goering vowed that Berlin would never be
bombed and, if it was, that he could be referred to as "Herr Meier"?
One day in March 1944 Luftwaffe aides reported to Goering that P-51's
were escorting 8th AAF heavies over Berlin. It has been reported that
he turned to some Luftwaffe aides and remarked, "well boys, the jig's
up now, it's all over!" (or words to that effect). And, from then on
Luftwaffe aides, on the sly, referred to Goering as "Reichsmarshall
Meier".
The reference to Goebbels went like this:
"And when Herr Goebbels says
we own the world and space
we Heil (fart sound)! - Heil (fart sound)!
right in Herr Goebbel's face!"
The original song, sung by Spike Jones and the City Slickers, can be
heard at http://www.ingeb.org/songs/whenderf.html
Tim Watkins
--
Fred Hessel
> Then there were the 400 known stanzas of "The North Atlantic
> Squadron".
>
> Cheers,
> Lech
"The North Atlantic Squadron" has the limerick rhyme to work with and
there are thousands of very bawdy limericks.... How about a little
bit of WWII bawdy poetry that was never sung (as far as I know):
If you take to much time to take a crap
You're winning the war for the god dam Jap.
If you take too much time to take a piss
Hitler will love the time you miss.
So shit in your pants, piss in your shoes,
And help win the war for the god dam Jews.
Nils K. Hammer
streets of Yokahama with my Honolulu mama doin' the
beat-o beat-o flat on my seat-o Hiroito blues"
and that is just the title.
Jim
Ballads". Some of the songs were distinctly of WW I or WWII origin,
tho' I suspect some had much older roots. In keeping with '50's US
morality & tastes, they were fairly well tamed down for civiian
consumption.
All I recall from it are disconnected bits of lyrics from a few of the
songs, no doubt somewhat scrambled by the passage of time and memory's
aging:
If all them young ladies was B-29's,
and I was a fighter, I'd sneak up behind.
If all them young ladies was wheels on a car,
I'd use freewheeling and go twice as far.
(WRT destroyer duty:)
Oh, it's roll and pitch, you son of a bitch... the more you roll, the
less you pitch... Oh, it's a helluva life on a destroyer.
Also included was "One-Eyed Reilly"... much older than WWII, I'd think.
Jim, "Two horse pistols in his belt, he was in a fit and angry."
The above address is invalid; send email to fesser at same domain name.
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John Halliwell
<wb6...@hotmail.com> writes
>Does
>anybody recall the story that Goering vowed that Berlin would never be
>bombed and, if it was, that he could be referred to as "Herr Meier"?
More correctly "No enemy aircraft will fly over Reich territory"
(incidentally painted under 137 operation counters on Lancaster 'S-
Sugar' in the museum at Hendon), Berlin was bombed shortly after the
Blitz on London started.
--
John
Preston, Lancs, UK.
Lech K. Lesiak
On 15 Nov 2002, Bill MacArthur wrote:
> I think the most famous is "The North Atlantic Squadron"
>
> Away, away with fife drum,
> Looking for women to pedal their bum,
> Full of the devil and navy rum,
> We're the North Atlantic Squadron.
Alas, 40+ years has erased most verses from my mind. The only other one I
remember is:
T'was upon the good ship Venus,
And, brother, you shouda seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed,
The mast an upright penis.
Cheers,
Lech
--
Cub Driver
googlegrou...@spamgourmet.com (Fred Hessel) wrote:
> If you take to much time to take a crap
This bit of doggerel (which I'd rather not quote in its entirety)
nicely captures the generalized xenophobia of the American farm
workers with whom I pitched hay and weeded rows of beans in the
summers of 1944, 44, and 45 (beginning at 25 cents an hour and
increasing by a nickel per year).
Indeed, they looked upon each other with a certain amount of horror
and disdain. My father was The Mick, and his Norwegian co-workers
(father and son) were The Squareheads. They never, to the best of my
knowledge, shared an off-hours meal together. In school, curiously, we
ignored all this and got along fine together, but I'm sure that most
of my classmates grew up to become as narrow-minded as their parents.
I've noted in another post that it was a much more innocent time. It
was also a much more clannish time, which the Good People tend to
overlook when they explore race hatred directed toward American
blacks, Japanese-Americans, and what were then called "Indians". It
wasn't merely racial; one "Ayran" could equally well despire another,
if the accent were different.
I suppose we should also bear this in mind when we condemn Germans for
their treatment of Jews. The last line of the ballad you quote betrays
quite a lively anti-Semitism among those who recited it.
John Halliwell
<lkle...@calcna.ab.ca> writes
>To the tune of Col Bogey:
>
>Hitler has only got one ball
>Stalin has two, but they are small
An alternative for the second line, common in the UK is "The other is in
the Albert Hall"
>Himmler is somewhat similar
>But poor old Go-balls has no balls at all!
I think there were more stanzas to it?
There's also "We'll hang out our washing on the Seigfrieg Line (SP?)"
but I can't remember much more of that.
Not forgetting the music to Dad's Army "Who do you think you are kidding
Mr Hitler if you think old England's done..." combined with the cartoon
like graphics of the German advance through Europe was quite funny
(although after the war).
--
John
Preston, Lancs, UK.
--
Cub Driver
>If all them young ladies was wheels on a car,
>I'd use freewheeling and go twice as far.
For motorists of a later generation, this doggerel might make more
sense if it were known that a freewheeling device was indeed provided
in some automobiles. I don't remember the manufacturer, but the car
I'm thinking of had a knob on the center lower dashboard which, when
pulled out, disconnected the engine from the tranny when you let up on
the accelerator. Since the engine was no longer braking the car, the
gas mileage was indeed better, though I doubt you'd "go twice as far."
This was also an era of two-cycle motorcycle engines. Since two-cycle
doesn't provide oil to the cylinder except when the gas-oil mix is
drawn in, all such engines were freewheeling.
Fred Hessel
>
> Here's to Hitler, on his last hitch
> We are after him now the son of a bitch
> His cock will hang like a rotten banana
> When he hears us whistle "The Star Spangled Banner"
>
Here is how the rest of the toast/curse goes:
We will eat all his kraut and drink all his gin
And screw every princess in Berlin
We will cut off his balls and split his bag
And wipe our ass on his German Flag.
We will walk in his palace and shit on his floor
And hang Old Glory right over his door
We will tear up his city and shit on the street
And piss on every German we happen to meet.
We will darken his honor and shorten his joy
And show him the spirit of the American boy
>From the land of the free and the home of the brave
We will march down and shit on his grave.
The above was transcribed from a ca 1944 leaflet from Wisconsin.
People in this thread have mentioned the ethicism of the USA during
WWII. Here is another anecdote from that leaflet that exemplifies
american ethicism:
A Toast to the Irish -- Long Live the Irish
The first American soldier to kill a Jap was MIKE MURPHY.
The first American Pilot to sink a Jap Battleship was COLIN KELLY.
The first American Flyer to shoot down a Jap Plane was BUTCH O'HARE.
The first Coast Guardsman to shoot a German spy was JOHN CULLEN.
The first American soldier to be decorated by the President was PAT
POWERS.
The first American Admiral to be killed leading his ship into actual
battle was DAN CALLAHAN.
The first American ship to be named for brothers sacrificed in Naval
combat was "THE SULLIVANS."
AND
The fist son of a bitch to get four tires from the rationing board was
NATHAN GOLDSTEIN.
--
The Horny Goat
wrote:
OK you've demonstrated you read the Guiness Book of Records entry for
"Longest Song Title". I'd **LOVE** to know what possessed Hoagy
Carmichael to have picked THAT one...though strictly speaking it's
more post-war Occupation than the war itself.
The Horny Goat
>Also included was "One-Eyed Reilly"... much older than WWII, I'd think.
>
>Jim, "Two horse pistols in his belt, he was in a fit and angry."
>
>The above address is invalid; send email to fesser at same domain name.
As stated previously I sold a LOT of books shortly before moving to
the east coast to go to grad school some 20 years back. One book I
particularly regret selling was "Kiss Me Good-Night Sergeant-Major"
which was full of such numbers.
One I remember (to the obvious tune) was:
Deutsche Deutsche Uber Alles, in the sands outside Tobruck
Saw a Jerry acting wary, thought I'd go and have a look
He was sitting, pants down sh*tting
Down beneath the mountain pass
Aimed a trifle up my rifle, aimed and shot him in the *ss.
Does anyone have the lyrics for the "D-Day Dodgers" (to the tune of
Lili Marlene)?
First two lines:
We are the D-Day Dodgers in sunny Italy
Always on the vino always on the spree...
I don't remember the rest but it included the verse:
We landed at Salerno, a holiday with pay
Jerry brought the bands out to cheer us on our way
Anzio and Cassino are just names,
We just went out to look for dames
We are the D-Day Dodgers, in sunny Italy
Jim Garner
> Alas, 40+ years has erased most verses from my mind. The only other one I
> remember is:
>
> T'was upon the good ship Venus,
> And, brother, you shouda seen us
> The figurehead was a whore in bed,
> The mast an upright penis.
>
> Cheers,
> Lech
Well, Lech seems a good name when you're chanting such verses. Here are
a couple more from the same:
Oh, the captain of the lugger,
He was a dirty bugger,
He wasn't fit to shovel shit
>From one ship to another.
The bosn's mate was a dirty sod --
They called him Bollicky Andy.
They dipped his bum in red-hot rum
For pissing in the brandy.
The cabin boy was a dirty kid
His name was Little Nipper.
He stuffed broken glass right up his ass
And circumcized the skipper.
I'm blessed (or cursed) with an unusually tenacious memory for such things
and I can recite at least half a dozen songs of the same ilk, except my
missis always shuts me up when I start.
Mind you, I don't go back all the way to WW2, only 54 years to 1948,
when I did National Service. But there were then enough vets around to
pass on these gems to the next generation.
--
Jim Garner, sage and dogsbody. an...@ncf.ca (filtered, see below).
E-mail is filtered out unless subject line includes "GRAN"
(613) 526-4786; 759B Springland, Ottawa, ON K1V 6L9 Canada
"VISA soit qui mall y pense"
--
Ed Frank
> A Toast to the Irish -- Long Live the Irish
> The first American soldier to kill a Jap was MIKE MURPHY.
[spacesnips]
> The fist son of a bitch to get four tires from the rationing board was
> NATHAN GOLDSTEIN.
IIRC, George Orwell wrote an essay about this bit of
folklore during the war.
It's in one of the volumes of his collected works.
Ed Frank
--
Lech K. Lesiak
On 19 Nov 2002, Fred Hessel wrote:
> A Toast to the Irish -- Long Live the Irish
>
> The first American soldier to kill a Jap was MIKE MURPHY.
Strange they don't mention William Joyce, who was Irish and had lived in
the US.
Cheers,
Lech
Duwop
>Snip very interesting and vulgar ditty
Emotions sure run high in wartime it seems. It's good to be reminded
of that sometimes.
>
> WWII. Here is another anecdote from that leaflet that exemplifies
> american ethicism:
>
<Snip ditty,I imagine this next is the part that has import...
> The fist son of a bitch to get four tires from the rationing board was
> NATHAN GOLDSTEIN.
>
> --
If you look, you'll find like items against Micks, Wops, Spics,
Squareheads, etc.... It just how things were. Catholics were viewed
with suspicion by many as well in the US.
Applying modern sensibilities to those times is spurious.
If you find this so horrible, can you even start to imagine how bad it
must have been in large portions of Europe, where they actually
deported, enslaved, dehumanized and ultimately tried to extinguish the
Jewish people?
Really, if you find this so vile, what do you think of the people(s)
that actually felt this so profoundly that it was acted on?
D
--
Andrew Clark
"Lech K. Lesiak" <lkle...@calcna.ab.ca> wrote
> Strange they don't mention William Joyce, who
> was Irish and had lived in the US.
Actually, legally he was an American citizen from birth
until he became a German citizen. He never held UK (Northern
Ireland) or Irish Free State nationality.
Tim Watkins
news:<3dea97f...@news.pacific.net.au>...
But he had held a British passport, which was the basis for the
British to try him for treason in 1945. Charged with treason from 3
Sep 1939 to 2 July 1940 (the date his British passport expired) and
convicted in the Old Bailey, he wound up on the knot end of a sturdy
length of hemp in Wandsworth Prison in London on 3 Jan 1946.
One wonders, in retrospect, did the British feel that the time of from
3 Sep 1939 to 26 Sep 1939, the date he became a German citizen, was
too short a time span for a successful conviction for treasonous
activity from Germany? Did the British need to extend the time of
treasonous activity in Germany by approximately 9 months in order to
successfully prosecute and convict Joyce so that they could get a
death sentence?
Tim Watkins
Richard Kilgore
http://ingeb.org/songs/werethed.html
Interestingly, it also states the following:
"Original verses (whichever they are) written by Major Hamish
Henderson of the 51st Highland Division in response to an ill
considered, 1944 comment by Lady Astor, in the House of Commons,
accusing Soldiers in Italy of "dodging D-Day".
The Horny Goat <lcr...@home.com> wrote in message news:<oiuotucuaphvkqmap...@4ax.com>...
>
> Does anyone have the lyrics for the "D-Day Dodgers" (to the tune of
> Lili Marlene)?
>
--
The Horny Goat
wrote:
Interesting. Not quite the version I knew 20 years ago but obviously
still the same song. I knew about the Lady Astor connection - and
agree with the aforementioned book that the fairest way to put it is
"it is unclear whether Lady Astor actually said what she was supposed
to have said. What is beyond dispute is that nearly every British
serviceman in Italy was convinced that she HAD said it..."
kevinwer...@gmail.com
Rich Rostrom
> The land of the free and the home of the brave,
> we'll all march together and piss on his grave.
Goering has two but they are small;
Himm-ler is very sim-ler;
And Goebbels has no balls at all!
--
The real Velvet Revolution - and the would-be hijacker.
http://originalvelvetrevolution.com
Dave Smith
> The land of the free and the home of the brave, we'll all march together and piss on his grave.
>
raunchiness... "Songs From the Front and Rear"
Don Phillipson
news:7aa45986-8a56-4278...@googlegroups.com...
> The land of the free and the home of the brave, we'll all march together
> and piss on his grave.
"Rugby songs" in the 1960s, Hurtig (Canada) published the
remarkable "Songs from the Front and Rear" in 1979 and
I'd bet the Internet houses quite a few.
--
Don Phillipson
Carlsbad Springs
(Ottawa, Canada)
The Horny Goat
<adavid...@sympatico.ca> wrote:
>I have a whole book full of military songs with a range of
>raunchiness... "Songs From the Front and Rear"
went to grad school I sold off a bunch of history and wargames stuff
and always regretted getting rid of that one. So nearly 10 years ago I
found it on an Aussie bookseller's site, ordered it and am still
getting ads from them to this day (I'm in Canada).
There was a time when I memorized Spike Milligan's "Der Fuehrer's
Face"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZlFBSRrSR0
The Horny Goat
<e9...@SPAMBLOCK.ncf.ca> wrote:
>They are not that rare. Sphere produced two paperbacks of
>"Rugby songs" in the 1960s, Hurtig (Canada) published the
>remarkable "Songs from the Front and Rear" in 1979 and
>I'd bet the Internet houses quite a few.
class 40 years ago) is particularly WW2 related.
By the way "Der Fuehrer's Face" was Spike Jones not Spike Milligan.
Don Phillipson
news:c7sm8chhqjiu1ft5a...@4ax.com...
> Don't think "Rugby Songs" (which were passed around in my high school
> class 40 years ago) is particularly WW2 related.
two repertoires overlapped by more than 50 pct.
The Horny Goat
<e9...@SPAMBLOCK.ncf.ca> wrote:
>"The Horny Goat" <lcr...@home.ca> wrote in message
>news:c7sm8chhqjiu1ft5a...@4ax.com...
>
>> Don't think "Rugby Songs" (which were passed around in my high school
>> class 40 years ago) is particularly WW2 related.
>
>Memories of both rugby and RAF service in the 1950s confirm the
>two repertoires overlapped by more than 50 pct.
major bender involving a whole squadron of pilots who due to their
antics in the song got a new ID code: "VD"...
Diogenes
wrote:
>"I'm a cranky old Yank in a clankety old tank on the
>streets of Yokahama with my Honolulu mama doin' the
>beat-o beat-o flat on my seat-o Hiroito blues"
>
>and that is just the title.
one of the walls was written --
"Here's to Xerxes, that son of a bitch
May his balls be infected with the seven year itch"
etc, etc, etc.
----
Diogenes
The wars are long, the peace is frail
The madmen come again . . . .
Don Phillipson
news:9kfo8ch349sihj451...@4ax.com...
> A latrine from the 5th century BC was recently excavated in Athens. On
> one of the walls was written --
>
> "Here's to Xerxes, that son of a bitch
> May his balls be infected with the seven year itch"
Babylonian tax-gatherers' records (rather than poetry or prayers;)
so this Athenian grafitto might be the equivalent prototype of the
Internet.
Bill Shatzer
> On Sun, 17 Nov 2002 20:55:25 GMT, nh...@andrew.cmu.edu (Nils K. Hammer)
> wrote:
>
>> "I'm a cranky old Yank in a clankety old tank on the
>> streets of Yokahama with my Honolulu mama doin' the
>> beat-o beat-o flat on my seat-o Hiroito blues"
>>
>> and that is just the title.
>
> A latrine from the 5th century BC was recently excavated in Athens. On
> one of the walls was written --
>
> "Here's to Xerxes, that son of a bitch
> May his balls be infected with the seven year itch"
>
> etc, etc, etc.
>
Andrew Chaplin
news:5bwiA.68094$Ce.5...@fx11.iad:
13: 9780888301710. I got it for Christmas in 1979 and my father inscribed it
to me with the injunction, "Don't miss page 187".
--
Andrew Chaplin
SIT MIHI GLADIUS SICUT SANCTO MARTINO
(If you're going to e-mail me, you'll have to get "yourfinger." out.)